There For Me

Usual little celebrity disclaimer, though I don't think I really need it in this situation. This story is fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about the sexualities of the included celebrities. Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus, Stacy Keibler, Matt Hardy, Amy Dumas (Lita), Adam Copeland (Edge), Shane Helms, Stephanie McMahon, Mark Jindrak, Lance Storm, Kurt Angle, Billy Kidman, Torrie Wilson, Jay Reso (Christian), Shannon Moore, and Rob Van Dam are all property of WWFE Inc. But try not to think of them as wrestlers, but more as characters in this story.

The song "There For Me" by Mariah Carey is used without permission. It belongs to her, as far as I know.

As always, this story cannot be used on ANY site without my written permission. If you wish to use it, contact me at XXX_Supafly@yahoo.com. This and all my other stories are available on my website http://www.angelfire.com/mi3/TripleX.

This story does contain sex of the gay kind, drug and alcohol use, implied incest, one incestuous kiss, and scarily enough, straight kissing and implied straight sex! If any of the preceeding scares you, exit this story. If you're still here, I hope you enjoy.

I'd never have known The way it feels to love Without the love you showered Down upon me Warm as the sun Melting away the rain Giving me the strength To face another morning

So many times I felt afraid And turned to you To find my way I reach inside And find you there You are with me everywhere

All It would take all of my life To find someone more there for me There for me And I'm never alone Cause in my heart I know You're always there for me There for me

I won't let go Of precious memories They are the light of hope That burns inside me And every time I lose my way You shine for me And I'm okay You lead me way beyond it all And you never let me fall

All It would take all of my life To find someone more there for me There for me And I'm never alone Cause in my heart I know You're always there for me There for me You always catch me when I fall

All It would take all of my life To find someone more there for me There for me And I'm never alone Cause in my heart I know You're always there for me There for me My love

You're always there for me

Mariah Carey "There for Me"

I pushed past the mobs of people littering the streets and made it to my building. I let myself in, and made my way quickly up to my apartment. I'd needed to piss for the past nine blocks, and while it was New York City, I wasn't comfortable whipping the big guy out in public. And since I'd taken off from home in such a hurry this morning, I left my wallet sitting on my dresser. So I got to foot it the 15 blocks home today.

After I had successfully drained the one-eyed monster, I made my way back into the living room/bedroom area and gave a glance at my answering machine. The number 4 was blinking at me, so I hit the button then preceded to change out of the uptight clothes I had to wear to work.

"You have four new messages," The machine spoke to me

"Trish, Steph, Mark and Stacy," I guessed as I tossed my shirt in the direction of the massive mound I called my dirty clothes.

"Hey Jeffy, it's Trish," Ah, score a point for me. "Calling to ask you about the reunion this weekend. We still riding to the airport together? Gimme a call,"

The reunion. The one day I had been looking forward to all year. A chance to catch up with old friends. I hadn't seen some of them since the last reunion a year ago. And then there were some I saw every day, like Stacy and Trish. Well, and Mark.

But for some reason, I'd been wishing I'd see less of Mark. I didn't know why. I mean, the guy was hot. Actually, hot didn't even start to describe him. And he was an easy guy to get along with. He wasn't boring, he didn't have a speech impediment like that guy that Amy used to date. But there was just something about him lately that annoyed me. He became too clingy, or something. Actually, who was I kidding? I was just trying to make there be something wrong with Mark. His only problem was, he wasn't Matt.

Matt, my own brother. But I was so in love with him. And no matter what Mark did, no matter how much he said he loved me, I could never banish Matt from my mind, or my heart. He still had such a hold on me. I could spend hours fucking Mark, but the second I looked into those puppy dog brown eyes, I would think of Matt. I still wanted Matt so bad. But he didn't want me. And that sucked. He'd pretty much traded me in for a smaller, less attractive version of me with a female name. Shannon, what kind of name is that for a guy? But even though he'd done that, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. I don't think I could ever hate something that beautiful. 'Oh well.' I thought to myself. 'He doesn't want me. He's got Shannon.' I deleted the message and waited for the next one to play.

"Hey Jeff, it's Stacy," Two points for me. "Torrie's gonna be at the reunion right? I sound desperate, I know. Anyway, gimme a call,"

My dear lesbian friend Stacy and her obsession with the bicycle of our little group. That bicycle I'm speaking of is known as Torrie. We call her the bicycle because, well, she might as well be. Everyone in our group had gotten a ride, male or female. I'd even let her suck me off one night in a coke induced haze. I ran my ass down to the clinic the next day to make sure she hadn't given me something. Thankfully, she didn't. I knew damn sure I'd never let that happen again, no matter how fucked up I got. We all warned Stacy about the dangers of riding the bicycle, but she still marveled at its handle bars (Read: Gigantic Breasts.) Well, whatever floated her boat I guess. I was the one in love with my own brother after all. I didn't give it a second thought as I deleted Stacy's message and let the next one play.

"Hey Jeff, It's Mark," Three points. "Listen. I'm not coming to the reunion this weekend. They're more your friends than mine, so you just enjoy your time together with them, and I'll see you when you get back. Later,"

That was odd. For the past week or so, Mark had been totally hyped about the reunion, and seeing everyone again. Now he was calling and telling me he wasn't going. I can't say I was disappointed however. I was actually sort of relieved. He was a newer edition to our group, though I wasn't the one that brought him in, Stephanie was. But anyway, since he was a newer edition, he hadn't formed any close friendships besides myself and Stephanie. And at these reunions, Stephanie usually kept herself glued to Rob's ass, thus leaving Mark glued to mine. At least with him not going, I had a chance to just hang with my friends. And get shit faced like we used to do. And have sweaty reunion sex with all my old buddies if the opportunity arose. I was sure the opportunity would arise at least once. I was seriously wishing that one time would be Matt, but I knew that was probably nothing more than a pipe dream. I deleted Mark's message then began digging in my refrigerator for something to eat.

"Hey bitch, it's Me," Me, of course, was Stephanie. Did I know who calls me or what? "Everything is set for the reunion. I'll have your and Trishy's tickets at the airport. Anyway, gimme a call. Later babes,"

I deleted the last message, then plopped down onto the couch. I dug around in the cushions for a few seconds until I produced the TV remote for the 13" TV I'd won as a door prize at a strip club. Thankfully, my building had an illegal cable hook up, so I was able to get more channels than just the local shit. I flipped around for a few seconds til I reached ESPN. I wasn't all that interested in sports, but they were doing an interview with an old friend of mine from Canada, who just happened to play for the Detroit Red Wings.

"So Kirk Maltby, fans everywhere wanna know, what does a girl have to do to get your interest?" The reporter asked. I almost spit my soda out when I heard the question. You see, Kirk and I had been "special" friends. With the exception of Matt, Kirk was the best I'd ever had. My interest was piqued. I couldn't wait to see how Kirk answered this question.

"Well Joel," Kirk started in that sexy Canadian accent that I loved. "She's got to be a really, special girl,"

"Yeah, or a special guy," I spoke to the TV.

The grin on Kirk's face was enough to make me weak in the knees, but he'd always had that power over me. Come to think of it, Matt had that power over me too. Dammit, I couldn't even go five minutes without thinking about him. Even when staring at the sex god that is Kirk Maltby, I couldn't stop thinking about Matt. Seeing him with Shannon this weekend was going to kill me. Oh well, hopefully I'd be too blitzed to even notice. I snapped myself back to reality and noticed the interview with Kirk was over. I switched off the TV then reached over and grabbed the phone. I dialed up Trish's number then walked to my closet. I started searching through my clothes for something gay to wear, something told me we'd be hitting a bar tonight. And I was sick of not getting hit on because they thought Trish was my girlfriend. We'd only fucked once, and that was a total drunken mistake. I would never dock the Skin Boat in Tuna Town sober.

"Talk to me," Trish said as she answered the phone.

"Hey bitch," I replied, in my typical fashion.

"Hey, we clubbing tonight?"

"I'm up for it if you are,"

"I'm always up for it,"

"See you, 8ish?"

"Be there,"

"Later," I finished, shutting off the phone and tossing it to the bed behind me.

I ripped a grey mesh shirt from the hanger and tossed it over to the bed. I flipped through my pants for a few seconds until finding the black cargo pants I was looking for. I yanked them out and tossed them to the bed with the shirt. I pulled my boxers off and tossed them onto my dirty clothes pile, then made my way to the shower.

I turned on the faucet and waited impatiently as the water spat and sputtered before eventually becoming the weak stream I was forced to bathe in every day. I stepped under the water and let the hot water relieve what little tension I incurred while sitting behind my desk all day. I tried my best not to think of anything while I began to soap myself up. But as my hands connected with my chest, I was instantly reminded of Matt. I tried to flush him from my mind, but I could not do it. I could feel my cock begin to harden as memories overtook my mind. I gave in to the memories, and grasped my rapidly swelling cock in my hand. I began to jerk up slowly, the way Matt used to do. But my slow strokes soon turned to quick jerks. My hand was flying rapidly up and down my now fully erect 9 inches. I knew in no time I'd reach my release. But just as that thought crossed my mind, a knock came at the bathroom door.

"Jeff, you in there?" The voice I heard was that of my neighbor Lance. Lance had the tendency to pop over unannounced to use my shower, or my phone, or me for that matter. We'd slept together a few times, usually when Mark was out of town on business. But more often that not, it was the shower. He lived in the top floor apartments, and seemingly nothing worked way up there. Hell, anything barely worked on my floor, and I was only on the second. But I guess that's New York apartments for you. I mentally cursed myself for not locking my door as I reluctantly removed my hand from my cock. I grabbed my shampoo bottle from behind me and yelled out to Lance.

"I'll be out in a minute," I yelled as I squirted a glob of the shampoo into my hair.

I washed my hair quickly then shut the water off. I grabbed a towel from the towel rack and began to dry myself as I stepped from the tub. I fastened the towel around my waist then exited the bathroom. As I stepped back into the main room, I noticed Lance sitting at my kitchen table hitting something with my remote control. I knew from experience that it was coke. That was probably why I never said anything to Lance about the shower. He kept me well supplied in drugs, coke in particular. Still wearing the towel, I walked over to the table and sat down next to him.

"Line it up," I spoke

Lance only nodded then lined the coke up on the table with his driver's license. After he'd arranged two perfect little lines, he spoke.

"Fuck kittens' first," He said, motioning me toward the coke.

I didn't take the time to digest the Fuck Kitten comment before I snorted up the coke. I sat back in the chair and let my second favorite feeling overtake me as Lance snorted up his line. He sat back and stared at me through hazed eyes.

"You look really hot like that," He spoke, wiping at his nose.

"Not this weekend, I'm saving my energy for my little reunion thing. And did you call me fuck kitten?"

I had just remembered about his comment before I'd snorted the line. Fuck Kitten was my nick name within my group, though it had been shortened to FK for public use. I never remembered telling Lance about that. But then again, I didn't remember a whole lot of times with Lance. There weren't very many times together when we were high off some kind of narcotic. But that's who Lance was, my drug buddy.

"Yeah," He giggled. "That girl, the tall Dyke told me about it one day,"

"Hey," I snapped, kicking him under the table. "Don't call her a dyke. She's heterosexually challenged,"

With the finish of my statement we both erupted in laughter. I don't know where on Earth that came from. But I was known for my wit when high. I was also known for becoming a total horn ball, but that's a different story. I had to execute some self control today. I wanted to save all my energy for the reunion. I was guaranteed to get sex from someone. And whomever I got it from, odds are that I wouldn't get it from them again for another year. With Lance, I could get it pretty much anytime I wanted. Hell, all I would have to do is take my towel off and he'd be on me like sweat on a fat guy. He was easy like that. A little too easy sometimes. But hey, he came through in a pinch. But I wasn't in a pinch this time. I was saving myself for the reunion.

"So what'd you come for?" I asked after our laughter about "heterosexually challenged" began to cease.

"I just came to get high, for once. It's no fun alone," He replied, stretching his hands over his head.

"Totally agree. But I have to get ready, you're welcome to hang around," I explained, standing up from the table and walking toward my bed.

"Who's coming over?"

"Trish," I replied, grabbing a fresh pair of boxers from my closet.

"I'm outtie then. See you later man,"

"Bye," I laughed as Lance left. Trish had never liked Lance, and she made sure to tell him that anytime they were near each other. Lance on the other hand, had the major hots for her, but he couldn't stand her attitude when around him. So they kept themselves pleasantly distanced from each other whenever humanly possible. The most communication between the two of them were phony ass smiles as one or the other left my place. I didn't mind things this way. I'd just assume keep them separated. That way I wouldn't have to share yet another drug/fuck buddy with Trish.

I slipped my clothes on quickly then walked back to the bathroom. I appraised myself in the mirror for a moment, making sure I looked to my standards. I had to tell myself that no one could possibly look as good as me at that very moment. I'm vain at times, I won't lie. I grabbed a bottle of cologne from the sink and sprayed a few shots on. I was still pleasantly floating from the coke, so I walked back to the living room and plopped down onto the sofa to enjoy the last few minutes of my buzz before Trish arrived.

I was sitting in silence, reflecting on the past reunions when my buzzer went off. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was only 7:00. Never in the years I had known Trish had she showed up an hour early. I'd had a history with the kids in the building messing with my buzzer. It started with them being annoying teenagers, but it eventually turned into a joke between us. That was even how my other nick name of Rainbow was started. You see, there was never a time since I'd moved into this building when I had normal colored hair. I always had a multitude of colors in my hair, a rainbow you know? So they started calling me Rainbow. I can't count the times when they rang my buzzer at night to let them in so their parents wouldn't know how late they were out. And since Trish was never early, my guess was one of them needed in. So I hopped up from the couch and walked over to the buzzer.

"Announce yourself now, or meet the consequences," I spoke in my best Wizard of Oz like voice.

"Let me up shithead," Trish laughed.

"Say the magic words," I laughed back.

"No, there are old people out here," She whined. "Hello old people, how are you?" She asked snippily, I assumed talking to the old people

"All the better. Say it or stay out there all night,"

"I could always buzz Lance you know,"

"Like he'd let you in. Just say the words, you know they're all true,"

I heard a very loud sigh, then Trish clearing her throat. "Jeff is the unholy God of all sex. No one in the world does it better than him. He's rocks my world better than the rest. All should pay homage to his massive penis. All hail FK, King of Fuck," She rambled out plainly.

"Very well done," I laughed, pressing the button to buzz her in.

I continued to laugh about my victory while I waited for her to come up. No matter how often I made my friends say that, I enjoyed it each time like it was the first time. It was the best making Stacy say it, since she was totally lesbian, and claimed the thought of me "rocking her world" made her ill. I plopped back onto the sofa and turned the radio on.

"I hate you you prick," Trish yelled in mock anger as she entered.

"You do not," I replied simply.

"Yeah, I know," She agreed, taking a seat across from me on the bed.

"Why you here so early?"

"Why not, ain't shit to do at my place. Not like you were doing anything anyway, or is Mark hiding under the bed?" She mocked, lighting up a cigarette. She motioned at me with the pack, but I declined. Never was a big fan of smoking. Not cigarettes anyways.

"No bitch, Mark isn't hiding under the bed. I don't think he even wants me anymore,"

"Well, you HAVE been talking about Matty alot lately. He's probably just jealous,"

'Jealous.' I thought. Well he should be. He knew from the beginning about my relationship with Matt. He knew the piece of my heart that Matt held could never be touched by anyone else. But he'd always respected that. I remember distinctly one time when Mark and I were talking about Matt. That was the day that I realized Mark was probably the right one for me. But as much as I knew that, I couldn't force myself to believe it. I still wanted Matt, no matter how sweet and loving Mark was. 'I know Matt holds a piece of your heart, but all I'm asking is for you to give me a chance to win the other half.' No one had ever cared enough to say something like that. None of them wanted my heart. Matt had wanted it at one point, but he got tired of it like an old toy. So he traded me in. Snapped my heart in half. Mark however, was tender, loving, and romantic. Three things Matt stopped being after a certain point. A part of me was convinced that day that Mark was the right guy for me. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't convince that other part of me it was true. I guess when it came down to it, Matt didn't hold a piece of my heart; he held the whole damned thing.

"Earth to Jeff," Trish spoke, waving her hand in my face.

"Sorry," I said, physically shaking myself from my trance.

"Where were you?"

"You said the magic name, you know how I get,"

"Yeah, I do," She sighed. "Why, I still don't know," 'Why?' I thought to myself. I guess I didn't even know why I still loved Matt so much. But I guess I saw it all through love colored glasses. I could remember the bad times just fine. It pained me everytime to remember the way he'd become. Cold, uncaring, abusive, albeit only emotional. He pretty much became a downright asshole. He even went so far as to tear me while having sex. And afterwards, he'd said nothing but a cold, forced, "You okay?" I managed an "I'm fine" through my tears. It wasn't the pain of the injury that hurt, it was the emotional pain it caused. The old Matt would've wrapped me up and held me in his arms for hours. He would've kissed me, and held me, until every little pain in my world went away. The old Matt wouldn't have even gotten in the position to tear me, because he took his time, he did everything with total loving care. He was so utterly great to me back then. It was those memories that gave me the goggles. I could remember the bad Matt, but I didn't. I remembered MY Matt, the Matt who loved me.

"I love him Trishy, I can't help it," I replied sadly.

"I know sweety," She replied, giving me a sad puppy dog look. "But he doesn't deserve your tears,"

"I know,"

"Hey, what's your motto?"

"Fuck kittens don't cry," I replied meekly.

"Louder boy!" She yelled, hopping to her feet.

"Fuck Kittens don't cry!," I yelled, hopping to my feet.

Damn right, now let's go get fucked up!"

"Lead the way!"

That's what I loved about Trish. She possessed the power to cheer me up no matter what was going on. I had a lot of people in my life. But I was most thankful for Trish. She'd been there for me throughout the shittiest times of my life. The times I was at absolute rock bottom, and didn't think I'd make it back, she was there. "You always catch me when I fall. All, it would take all of my life. To find, someone more there for me," Words never rang more true.

Trish and I were laughing and singing Mariah Carey's "Heartbreaker" (horribly I might add) as we made our way downstairs and onto the street. As we stepped out of the building, a couple of the teens from the building were walking up.

"Hey Rainbow, hot date tonight?" The oldest of the bunch, Logan asked, raising his eyebrows at Trish. She rolled her eyes and gave him her "In your dreams" look.

Hardly, you know I like dick," I replied, putting my arm around Trish's shoulders and proceeding to walk away.

"So when you gonna suck mine?" he yelled after us.

When you meet my size requirement!" I yelled back as we kept on walking.

"You are totally bad!" Trish laughed.

"Eh shut up," I laughed in return.

We laughed about it for a few more seconds before Trish picked up the song where we'd left off. We were laughing and singing as loudly as possible as we walked down the street towards our friend Kurt's bar. If you were a normal person walking down the street, you'd assume we were already drunk. But alas, that's how Trish and I acted normally. You haven't seen a party until you've seen Me and Trish drunk.

We stopped our singing as we walked into the bar. It was still early, so very few people were there. We walked up to our usual table and took a seat. Our friend Kurt seemed occupied by some girl at the bar, so I whistled to get his attention.

"FK, Trish!" Kurt yelled from the bar. "Haven't seen you guys in weeks," He said as he walked up to our table.

"Yeah, Sean was in town for a few, you know the parties at his place," Trish explained, removing her jacket and sitting it on the chair next to her.

I always enjoyed the look on Kurt's face as Trish's chest came into view. He wanted her totally bad. But there was one little thing that kept him from acting on it; he was married. And his wife was pretty crazy. She'd attacked him at the bar one day for flirting with Trish. Me and Stacy were eventually able to subdue her, after Stacy slapped her a few times. And take it from me, Stacy packs a lethal slap. After that night, Kurt put all thoughts of an affair with Trish away, for his own safety as much as hers. I wasn't so sure Trish would go for him anyway. Though she'd said a couple of times how she wondered what he was like in bed.

"So what do you guys want? The usual?" He asked, giving a quick glance between me and Trish.

"Yep," Trish and I replied in unison.

"One Long Island Ice Tea and one Fuzzy Navel coming right up, on the house for tonight,"

"Kurt, how do you make any money if you never charge us for drinks?" I asked as he walked back to the bar.

"I'm an erotic dancer on the side. You know Jeff, like you used to be,"

"Hey! That was a one time thing, and I was totally drunk," I yelled in my defense

"You're always totally drunk, you function better that way," Trish laughed.

"Hey, it's you fault I ever did that anyways." I said, turning to Trish.

"I just said 'Someone should dance on the table' I didn't say 'Jeff, dance on the table'."

"Whatever, you're wrong," I said in mock anger.

Trish didn't speak in return but laughed as Kurt returned with our drinks. He took a seat next to me and lit up a cigarette. We talked about the usual stuff; sex, drugs, rock and roll. Well, maybe not rock and roll, but it just fit with that statement. And as Trish and I killed off our drinks, Kurt would get us more. That's my guess as to why I remember nothing until I woke up the next morning.

I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache and an extreme pain in my left arm. I attempted to sit up, but my left arm wouldn't budge. I glanced over in horror as I saw Trish laying on my arm. Before even attempting to wake her, I tried my best to remember the previous night. But I could remember nothing past drink number 4. This was how we'd slept together last time. I couldn't possibly have been that drunk, could I? That was a dumbass question, of course I could've. I lifted up the blanket and was horrified yet again when I noticed Trish was wearing nothing but her bra and panties. 'God!' I cursed myself. 'I did it again.'

Trish," I said lightly, poking her in the shoulder.

She murmured for a few seconds before opening her eyes and looking at me. When she did, I saw the same look of horror on her face that I must've had only minutes earlier. She sat up quickly and looked at me. When she noticed she was in only her bra, she pulled the blanket off of me to cover herself. We stared at each other for a few seconds, nervously laughing occasionally.

"We didn't do.....anything, did we?" She asked, clutching the blanket to her chest.

"I don't remember," I replied truthfully.

"Oh God, me neither,"

"We'd remember if we did something, right?"

"I would imagine....."

"We couldn't have done anything," I said, trying to sound sure of myself.

"Yeah, you're right,"

"Let's go get breakfast," I said, standing up from the bed.

As I stood up, an empty condom wrapper fell from the bed. Trish and I both looked at it with horror, but decided to not even comment on it. I tried my best to flush all thoughts of sex with Trish from my mind as I walked towards the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and began to take my morning piss as I heard Trish stumble around in the other room. I flushed the toilet then walked over to the sink to brush my teeth. Just as the toothbrush entered my mouth, Trish started to speak.

"Do you have a clock in this house, what time is it?"

"By the bed," I replied with a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Son of a bitch, Jeff its already noon. We're supposed to meet Steph at the airport in an hour,"

"You're fucking kidding me right?" I said, opening the bathroom door.

"See for yourself," She returned, holding up my alarm clock. I read in unmistakable large green numbers, 12:14.

"Fuck, let's get it in gear. You shower here, I'll go up and see if Lance's is working, if not, I'll use the Valasquez's downstairs. Make it quick,"

"Okay," She agreed, standing up from the bed and making her way to the bathroom.

I grabbed a towel from the floor, praying to God it was relatively clean, then made my way quickly from my apartment. I didn't have time to see if the elevator wanted to work today, so I ran the 5 flights up to Lance's apartment. It probably would've been easier to go the one flight down to the Valasquez's, but I was always afraid that old lady was staring at me when I was in the bathroom, like she had a peephole somewhere. So I always exhausted my one other possibility before going there.

When I arrived at Lance's door, it was as usual open just a crack. His apartment had quite a few problems, and the door never shutting right was one of them. I knocked as a formality, then let myself in. The apartment was totally silent, which wasn't a surprise for Lance before 1:00 P.M.. I walked over to the sofa where he slept, and stared down at him. He looked so cute when he was sleeping. He was even drooling a little bit. I didn't want to disturb his peaceful slumber, so I made my way to his bathroom.

I crossed my fingers as I started to fiddle with the water. It sputtered for quite awhile, much like my own shower did. But eventually however, it produced a weak stream, which would just have to do in this case. I shucked my boxers then stepped under the water and quickly rinsed myself down before grabbing a bar of soap from the sink next to the shower. I marveled while soaping myself on how clean Lance's bathroom was. But why shouldn't it be, he never uses it, he uses mine. Not like I cared, the more naked cute guys in my apartment the better I guess. I rinsed the soap from my body then quickly shampooed my hair. Just as I had gotten the last of the shampoo from my hair, the water started to sputter again. I just laughed at the timing then stepped from the tub and dried myself off. I slipped my boxers on then fastened my towel around my waist. As I was walking out of the bathroom, Lance was waking up. He blinked at me a few times, then yawned loudly.

"Jeff, what are you doing here?"

"I had to use your shower. No time to explain, I'll see you on Tuesday when I get back," I spat out quickly, giving him a light peck on the cheek then running quickly out of his door and back to my apartment.

As I walked in, Trish was sitting on the bed brushing her hair. I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed she was wearing some of my clothes. She'd obviously dug deep into my closet, and produced a tattered pair of tear-away pants and a faded Orlando Magic sweatshirt, both things I hadn't seen in quite awhile.

"Where are your clothes?" I asked as I snatched a quick outfit from my closet

"I can't find them. As in they're not here in this house,"

"Let's try not to think about last night anymore,"

"Agreed,"

I slipped my clothes on then pulled my duffel bag, which I had packed a few days earlier from my closet. I slung it over my shoulder and checked my pockets to make sure I had everything I needed. All systems were go. I snatched my house keys from atop my tv, and walked to the door.

"We'd better hurry if we still have to stop at your place," I said as we walked out. I turned and locked the door behind me.

"It's all taken care of, Stacy already has my stuff,"

"She meeting us at the airport?" I asked as we continued downstairs

"No, she's already on her way. She's meeting Rob in Chicago at 2, then flying non-stop to the reunion,"

"All right," I said as we stepped outside. "Taxi!" I yelled.

A taxi pulled up quickly. Trish and I hopped into the backseat and gave him directions to the airport. And Trish volunteered my money saying "If you get us there quick, we'll give you a bonus." The driver seemed to enjoy that idea, because he squealed his tires as we pulled away from the curb. But sure enough, we got there in about five minutes. We thanked the driver and I left him with an extra 10 bucks for getting us there so quickly. I gave a quick glance at Trish's watch as we walked into the airport, 12:45, just in time.

We walked around the airport for a few seconds before we saw Stephanie. Trish and I walked up slowly, waiting for Stephanie to explode at us for being late. But as her eyes connected with ours, a huge smile came to her face.

"I might've known you two assholes would be late," She said, standing up from her chair.

I rushed over to her and pulled her into a hug. I swung her around for a few seconds while we said the usual "I missed you so much" "It's so great to see you." and things of that nature. Stephanie had always been one of my best friends. But we rarely saw each other. She worked for a major Travel Agency in Connecticut, and I did the whole "Secretary by day, party animal by night" thing in New York. The four of us (Me, Stephanie, Trish and Stacy) usually got together about once or twice a year, not counting the reunion. But she'd been extremely busy this year, and this was the first time we'd saw her since last year's reunion. So it was only expected we acted like this.

After Stephanie and I separated, Stephanie and Trish found themselves in the hug position. They stayed like that for about as long as Stephanie and I had before they separated with tears in their eyes.

"I miss you guys so much," Stephanie said, squeezing my hand.

"We miss you too," I assured her.

"We'd better start boarding," Trish said, glancing at her watch.

"Yeah," Stephanie and I agreed.

I played gentleman for a day, and grabbed Stephanie's bag for her. She started to relay to us the trip here to New York, when she stopped and stared at Trish.

"Why are you wearing that?" Stephanie asked, bewildered.

"Don't ask. I'll tell you on the plane," Trish replied, pushing Stephanie towards the gate.

I just shook my head and laughed at the two of them. Since Stephanie had booked everything, she had the tickets. She handed them to the guy at the gate, and the three of us boarded the plane laughing and joking like total idiots, just like the old days.

We were the first to arrive at the house where the reunion would take place. The house was is what made the reunion so great. You see, Stephanie's parents made billions in the field of internet porn. And once a year, when they took their annual vacation to Fiji, they gave Stephanie full use of their ten bedroom California estate. And Stephanie put it to good use, inviting our entire group of 14 or so people over and having an entire weekend of sex, drugs, and more sex and drugs all over her parents house. It was always one kick ass bash, and the house made it possible. I can't imagine us enjoying ourselves as much as we do if we held the reunion in my cramped little apartment in New York.

As we usually did, Trish and I found a room and declared it our own for the time being. Most of the time it wouldn't be touched all weekend. Sleep was usually had in the party rooms, where you passed out more than fell asleep. But I tried my best not to do that, because you never know who'll wake up next to you, i.e., the bicycle in my case. But more often than not there were pleasant surprises, like the time I woke up next to Jay. At last year's reunion I didn't have to worry about who I woke up next to, Matt was there to protect me. I think this year I was going to sleep with a condom on. I really didn't need to wake up next to the bicycle again.

After everything was settled, the three of us went to the media room (or the Booze Room when we used the house) to wait for everyone to arrive. We caught each other up on our lives, which we all decided were splendidly boring. With the exception of the occasional night out, or a steamy affair, we all did the same thing: Work, sleep, work and sleep some more. This reunion was the vacation we needed. A weekend of nothing but sex, drugs, and all of our greatest friends. The three of us vowed to make the best of it, because come Tuesday, it was back to the same old routine.

After about 20 minutes or so, the other members of the group began to arrive. Amy, Adam, Stacy and Rob arrived with very little fanfare. There was the token long hug and the "I missed you" stuff, but nothing more. That is except for Rob. When Rob arrived, Stephanie damned near knocked Stacy over getting to him. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him to her for a LONG kiss. The rest of us watched with amusement for the first couple minutes, then began the expected gag motions. Once the kiss was parted, Stephanie flipped us off and told us to get our asses back in the media room. It took her and Rob another five minutes or so to join us, so we mocked them a little more when they arrived. We tried to mock them as much as possible, because it was funny seeing Rob blush like a school girl.

"So guys, wanna take bets on how many times they have sex this weekend?" Trish joked.

"No one wants to keep tabs on that," Adam laughed.

"Fuck you guys," Stephanie whined, cuddling up on Rob's arm.

We mocked them for a few more seconds before asking for details on Adam and Amy's new life together. They'd realized at last years reunion how desperately in love they were. Of course, it was kind of bad timing, because Adam was involved with our friend Jay then. They were both going to be here this weekend, so it was truly going to be an interesting time. We'd been forewarned in the weeks leading in to not mention Adam and Jay's relationship at all this weekend. It was still a sore spot for both of them, more so Jay than Adam. We all swore not to, the less tension in the air the better. It was going to be bad enough for Jay seeing Adam and Amy together all weekend long. But I figured Jay and I would hang this weekend. He had Amy and Adam to deal with, I had Matt and Shannon. We could avoid them together.

"Hello?" A voice yelled from the other room, interrupting the conversation.

"It's Chris," Stacy replied matter of factly.

"Go get him Jeffy," Amy laughed in a mocking way.

"Trust me, that's not a problem," I said, hopping to my feet.

I made my way quickly to the front door to greet my favorite non-Matt male of the group. Behind Matt, Chris was the love of my life, and we'd never really dated. Chris was the best friend I'd fallen in love with. I'd always made a pact with myself to never get emotionally attached to the guys of the group any other way than friendship, because they were all whores. Hell, I can't lie, so was I. As much as I tried not to, the pact was broken with Chris. I couldn't help myself. Anytime I looked into those ocean blue eyes, I got all weak kneed. I knew I loved him long before anything happened with Matt. Then after Matt dumped me, Chris was right there for me. "And any time I lose my way, you shine for me and I'm okay. You lead me way beyond it all, and you never let me fall." That was Chris. I don't think I would've come out of the pain of that breakup if Chris wasn't there. But of course, that lead me right back into my feelings for him. I finally got brave enough to tell him one day. And he told me he felt the same way. But thankfully, in a way, we never acted on the feelings beyond a little kissing. Chris was one of the stronger friendships in my life, and I didn't want anything to damage that. It kind of sucked to not be with him, but knowing he loved me the way I loved him got me through a lot.

"Jeffy?" He asked, removing his sunglasses. "What'd you do to your hair?"

"Time for that later, just hug me dammit," I laughed, pulling him to me.

We stayed like that for close to five minutes. More than any of the others I'd seen that day, I dished out the "I missed you" stuff for Chris. By the time we separated our embrace, there were tears in both of our eyes.

"Is Mark here?" He asked, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"No, he didn't come," I replied.

"Good," He said again, grabbing the waist of my jeans and pulling me to him.

He placed his lips roughly on mine. The un-acted upon passion between us was evident in the urgency of our kisses. I opened my mouth slightly, begging Chris' tongue to enter. He quickly obliged, and our tongues were soon writhing passionately against each other. I felt his hand drift down to my ass and pull me closer to him. I could feel his rapidly hardening cock pressing insistently against it's fabric confines. His hands began to snake down past the waist of my jeans and begin to caress my ass. As I began to do the same, we heard someone clearing their throat behind us.

"Sorry boys, am I interrupting something?" Stacy asked with an amused tone in her voice.

"Stacy!" Chris exclaimed, extending his arms.

I watched with amusement as the two of them hugged, Stacy standing roughly the same height as Chris. This whole hugging routine would grow quite tiresome by the end of the weekend. But it was still fun to watch for the time being. As the two of them separated, Stacy had tears in her eyes. She walked up to me and wiped her face on my shirt sleeve. Chris laughed as I wiped at my sleeve.

"Did you let him do that to his hair?" He asked, bending down and grabbing his bag.

"Nope, totally Trishy's idea," Stacy laughed, swatting at my rainbow colored pony tail.

"Well, it does look sexy on you FK, I have to say," He said, pushing a piece of hair from my forehead.

Something about that was so incredibly cute to me. I could feel my knees begin to knock. I smiled brightly at Chris, and he flashed his lopsided little grin back at me. It was obvious from the look on Stacy's face she was amused with our silent flirting. She'd been encouraging me in the day's prior to hook up with Chris this weekend. I told emphatically every time that it wasn't going to happen. I knew for certain that Chris and I would never go beyond the kissing. We both needed the friendship too much to let anything mess it up. And even if it did happen, what good would it do me? He lives in Canada. I live in New York. I was totally happy with the way things were now. Chris loved me, and I loved him. We both knew it, and that was enough for both of us.

"Come on," Stacy said, grabbing Chris by the hand. "Everyone is dying to see you," I laughed as Stacy drug Chris into the media room. I could hear everyone with the "I missed you" stuff in the other room. As I went to go join them, I heard the door open from behind me. I turned around and noticed three more members of our group walking in; Billy, Jay, and the bicycle. I did a 360 and rushed back to greet them. I repeated the hug routine with all of them, spending the least amount of time with Torrie. I didn't feel right professing how much I missed a person when I didn't really miss them. But despite all that, it was still good to see her. I led the three of them into the media room where they were greeted with a resounding "Hey!" It took awhile this time for everyone the hug routine to go around. After everyone had said their hello's, Stephanie flipped on the TV. We all looked on with question until she explained to us what it was.

"Before the parentals left, they informed me they found an old video of us,"

"What, Night of the Living Dead?" Adam joked, to which no one laughed. Poor Adam, no one ever laughed at his jokes.

"No, Prom Night ring a bell?" Stephanie replied. A loud "NO!" erupted from the group. None of us wanted to relive our dorky high school days. Me especially. I felt no inclination to revisit a time where I had braces, normal colored hair, and was about a foot shorter than I am now. But despite our objections, Stephanie played the video anyway. Groans and laughter were shot from every direction as images came into view. I covered my eyes and shook my head. I looked even more horrible than I had remembered, and they were sure to remind me of it with they're "Ha! Look at Jeffy!" I didn't feel so bad. Adam and Billy looked just as bad as I did. The girls were lucky, none of them looked much different. Stacy was a few inches taller. And Trish's breasts miraculously got bigger, how that happened, take one guess. It was quite an experience watching that video. It was certainly a great way to kick off the weekend, since we couldn't start on the drugs or alcohol until the entire group was there, and Matt and Shannon were still missing.

No sooner than that thought ran through my mind, I heard that annoying giggle that could only belong to Shannon. I had the urge to up and leave the room then, but I figured if I had to put up with it all weekend, I had to at least learn to tolerate them. Billy shouted to them where we were, and I could still hear them laughing as they walked into the room.

"Hey guys, sorry we're late. We lost track of time on the ride here," Shannon giggled, cuddling on Matt's arm.

That was it for me. I couldn't handle anymore of that. The sight of that bastard with MY Matty was nauseating. I stood up from my chair and without a word walked out the opposite door than the one they stood at. I walked to the back door and stepped out onto the deck. The hot California air was almost as bad a slap in face as seeing Matt and Shannon together. How in the hell I was going to live with that all weekend I had no idea now. I thought that I'd be able to do it, but I knew after seeing it only that once, that there was no way I could. The feelings for Matt were still so strong in my heart. It was like someone took a cheese grater to my heart seeing them together. Something told me this reunion wasn't going to be that fun for me.

"Jeffy?" Trish said as she walked up behind me.

"Sorry, but I couldn't take that," I replied as she sat next to me on the deck rail.

"It's okay, no one blames you. Well Matt does, but who cares, right?"

"I care,"I replied, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. "And I hate it,"

"I know sweety," She said sympathetically, laying her head on my shoulder. "If you want, me and Steph will choke Shannon in his sleep?"

"Thanks," I giggled. "Still wouldn't make Matt want me again though,"

"Fuck Matt. You are much better off without him. What about Chris?"

"Chris and I will never be together Trish, you know that just as well as everyone else,"

"I don't know Jeffy, he was looking at you differently today," She explained, sitting across from me on the bench.

My interest was piqued. "What do you mean different?"

"Different, like googly eyed," She replied, lighting a cigarette.

"How do you know?"

"I know the eyes Jeffy. Hell, no one gives them to me anymore, but I still know what they look like,"

"You're crazy. Chris and I both know nothing will ever happen, we've discussed it,"

"Well maybe he changed his mind,"

"Never going to happen Trishy. That's your dream,"

"Don't dismiss your options Jeffy, you never know,"

"I do know Trish. I'm never going to get my hopes up on Chris. I've learned to love him from afar, same way he has with me,"

"You don't want to love anyone else do you? It's Matt or nothing for you, right?"

I stopped to think about that for a second. It pained me to admit, but I think she was right. I really hated myself when it came to love. I had all these great guys around me, but all I wanted was my asshole older brother. The guy who totally fucked me emotionally. So badly, I didn't think I'd ever be strong enough for a relationship again. And without Trish and Chris around me, I know I wouldn't have made it through. Matt put me in the mindset that I didn't matter. That no one cared about me. That I wasn't good enough for anyone to love. And I believed every word. Because he was my world. And after he dumped me, I thought my life was over. But Trish and Chris pulled me up. They dusted me off and pretty much rebuilt me emotionally. "They are the light of hope that burns inside me." And after all that, I wanted to put myself right back into that posistion. Why, I didn't really know. I mean, I loved Matt. But did I love him enough to ruin my own life? I really had no idea.

"I don't know, Trishy. I really don't know," I said, taking a seat next to her on the bench.

"Remember, Fuck Kittens Don't Cry. Just try to forget about Matt this weekend,"

"Yeah, that's possible with him and Shannon jumping each other in plain site,"

"Steph will take care of that, rest assured. All that's left for us to do is to drink, snort, or smoke our troubles away. Come on," She said, patting me on the knee.

I stood up from the bench and held out my hand to help Trish up. She took it and I pulled her up and into a hug. I kissed her softly on the cheek and said a quiet "Thank You" in her ear. She just smiled and smacked me on the ass. I laughed and darted back inside. I took the long way back to the media room, and popped in through the rear door. I walked around behind Chris and put my arms around his neck. He looked back at me and smiled brightly, and mouthed the words "You okay?" I assured him I was. I saw Trish walk in and wink at me. I glared back at her, then shifted my glare down the wall to where Matt and Shannon sat. Shannon returned the glare, but Matt just turned his head. After that little talk with Trish, I was feeling a little better about the whole situation. As my motto says, Fuck Kittens Don't Cry. And as Trish has told me repeatedly, Matt doesn't deserve my tears. I came to have fun this weekend, and that was what I was going to do. Sure, Matt and Shannon were nuisances trying to rain on my parade. But I had 12 other people here to make me happy. I was determined to have fun this weekend, even if I had to spend the entire time avoiding the two of them.

"Listen up." Stephanie said, stepping onto the coffee table. "I want to thank everyone for taking time out from their busy lives to come here for this, our 3rd annual reunion. And now that everyone is here, I want to officially kick this party off, with the ceremonial lighting of the first joint," Stephanie preached, pulling the bag from her pocket. "Jay, will you do the honors this year?" She asked, waving the bag in his direction.

"It would be my pleasure," Jay laughed, hopping to his feet. Jay took the bag from Stephanie's hand and pulled from it a perfectly wrapped joint. He reached into his pocket and produced a zippo, and quickly lit it against his leg. The rest of the group cheered as he lit the joint, and the sweet aroma of weed began to circulate around the room. Once the joint was lit, the party was officially on. Bag after bag of weed and other drugs were tossed onto the coffee table. I noticed Stephanie disappear for a few seconds, before returning with the key for her parents liquor cabinet. She unlocked it, and pulled from it a bottle of Peach Schnapps. That being my favorite liquor, I made my way over to her. As I approached, she took a swig from the bottle before pouring two glasses of it.

"Well Jeffy," She said, pushing the drink to me. "Let's drink our troubles away," She said again, holding her glass up.

"Here here," I laughed, toasting my glass against hers.

Our glasses touched in a loud clang, audible to only Stephanie and I over the loud music which had began to play. Both Stephanie and I quickly downed the glass, then made our way arm and arm back to the coffee table. Chris had already began to line up the coke. He glanced up at me as I approached, and flashed me his breathtaking smile. Maybe Trish was right, he sure was looking at me differently today. 'Oh well.' I told myself. 'I came here to get trashed, not to dissect possibilities for relationships.' I flushed all of those thoughts from my head as Chris motioned me to the coke. I dropped down to the floor next to him. He visibly moved closer to me as he snorted the first line. I tried to not pay any attention as I snorted my line, but in all honesty I was intrigued as to what this all could mean. But those thoughts would be quickly forgotten as the high quickly overtook me.

I must've gotten completely wrapped up in the high, because the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the back deck with Shane and Jay. I was sprawled out on the bench, and for a brief second I wondered how I got there. But I pretty much figured I walked, since Jay and Shane didn't look in the condition to be carrying anyone. They were sitting on the floor with their back's towards me, arguing about something. I couldn't quite make out what they were talking about, so I sat up on the bench and cocked my ear in their direction.

"Heartbreaker is a way better song!" Shane slurred out, pushing Jay lightly in the shoulder.

"You're wrong, dude. Honey was totally the song!" Jay returned, pushing Shane back.

"Actually, you're both wrong, Fantasy was the best," I interjected loudly.

"FK!" They both yelled, turning to face me.

That was pretty much the end of excitement for my awakening, as they quickly resumed their Mariah Carey debate. I was completely comfortable where I was sitting, or I would've left them to their argument. But then again, I might not have, for fear they'd get physical over it all. This gave me the time to come down completely from my high, leaving me with just my pleasant alcohol buzz. Eventually, Jay's high must've worn off, because he announced he was going back for more. After he left, Shane hopped to his feet and joined me on the bench.

"Now that we're alone, I've been meaning to talk to you," He said softly.

"You're not going to hit on me are you?" I asked semi-jokingly. But hey, it was the first thought that popped into my mind.

"No, dickhead," He said, punching me in the shoulder. "I'm serious, this is important,"

"Okay, sorry. So what's up?"

"Well, you remember when Shannon broke up with me, how tore up I was?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, you really helped me through that Jeffy. Without you, I don't think I would've made it. I heard this song the other day, and it really made me think of you. There was this part that said "It would take all of my life to find someone more there for me," And I know that's true with you Jeffy. Thanks for always being there for me," He said, tears evident in his voice.

"Shane, you prick, you made me cry," I said, reaching across the bench and hugging him.

We hugged for minutes, allowing our tears to fall, and laughing about them. We both staked our reputations on being big manly men, but here we crying over happy stuff. I didn't really care though. Very few times in my life had anyone ever said something that wonderful to me. I didn't know for sure if I was the person most there for Shane. All I knew was that I'd always be there for him. My friends were the most important things in my life, all of them.

Once our tears ceased, we laughed at ourselves again before heading back inside and to the booze. Shane left me in the media room before he went away to do whatever it was he was going to do. My guess was find Jay and resume the Mariah debate. But I think I'd had my full of that for one day, so I set out on my own after grabbing myself a beer.

As I'd fully expected, the media room had been quickly deserted, as it would stay for most of the weekend. The only traffic it would get would be people grabbing more alcohol. I walked around the house, peeking in rooms here and there along the way. I don't think I was so much looking for everyone as enjoying walking around the house. But I did eventually locate a couple of them, sitting on the dining room table playing blackjack.

"What the hell are you weirdos doing?" I asked as I walked in.

"What's it look like freak, playing blackjack," Trish replied with a cigarette in her teeth.

"And that requires sitting on the dining room table?" I asked again.

"Have one more beer FK and you'll be right up here with us," Billy laughed, slamming his card down onto the table.

"Shit, I'll get up there now," I laughed, taking a seat behind Trish.

"Wanna play?" Trish asked, craning her head around to look at me.

"Nah, I'm good for now,"

"Okay, but you're missing out," Billy explained as he dealt he and Trish cards.

I took a swig from my beer and laughed at the two of them as they played. The language they threw around when they lost would make even a sailor blush. I got bored of watching after a few hands, and joined the game. I lost every single time, good thing we weren't playing for money. After about my tenth loss, I noticed my beer was empty. I announced my departure, and made my way back to the media room to grab another.

When I walked into the media room, I noticed Chris sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I walked up cautiously behind him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Chris?"

"Hey lamb," He said brightly, turning to look at me.

"You okay?" I asked, walking around to the front of the couch, and sitting down next to him.

"Well Jeffy, I'm not, really,"

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah. You can listen to me, and not say anything until I finish?" He asked, a solemn look in his beautiful blue eyes.

"How could I ever say no to you?" I replied, placing my hand on his knee. I knew that answer easily, there was no way. I couldn't possibly look into those deep blue eyes and say no.

"Okay," He said, taking a deep breath. "I've wanted to say this for awhile now. I love you Jeff,"

"I love you too Chris, you know that,"

"Shh," He said softly, placing his finger on my lips. "Let me finish," I nodded my agreement. "I love you Jeff. There isn't a day I wake up and don't wish I was laying next to you. I can hardly sleep at night from wondering if you're okay. I know we've said before nothing could ever happen. But I don't think I can take it anymore if I'm not with you,"

I could hardly comprehend what had just happened. Here was Chris, my ACTUAL first love, telling me he wanted to be with me. How did I even feel about that? There was so much emotion in my heart from that day. I paused within myself to decipher the events of moments ago. I loved Chris. He loved me. And now, he wanted to be with me. That part was simple enough to understand. But the hard part still remained, how did I feel about that? I had bottled down the longings to be with Chris long ago. But they were still there, weren't they? Of course they were, this was Chris. My dream guy since High School. The first man I'd ever fallen in love with. What the hell was taking me so long?

"Chris," I started, before pausing to take a deep breath. "I've waited so long to hear you say that,"

With the finish of my statement, I leant forward and placed my lips softly onto his. This kiss was nothing like the one we had shared earlier in the day. This kiss was soft, loving, but yet so passionate. The way Chris brought his hand to cup my chin made the butterflies dance in my stomach. I hadn't been kissed like this in so long. My heart was overflowing with happiness. As we broke for air, there were tears in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked, taking my hand in his.

"Nothing's wrong. I've just been waiting for that for a long time," I replied, kissing him quickly on the lips once more.

He cupped my chin in his hand and leaned in and kissed me softly once more. As we separated the kiss, he pulled me into a hug. I had hugged Chris so many times before, but this one was different. The feelings I got as his hands caressed my back were feelings I hadn't felt in a long time. And those were feelings of love. I had come here with hopes of rekindling the love with Matt. But instead of a love that wasn't really that at all, I got a REAL love. I knew Chris genuinely loved me. And I genuinely loved him. I knew that this was a great thing for me. Chris was really what I needed in my life.

"I love you lamb," Chris said softly, a vibrant look in his sparkling blue eyes.

"I love you too Chris," I replied happily. "I need to find you a nick name,"

He giggled lightly. "As long as it's not like my high school nick name,"

"Hey, there was nothing wrong with being the virgin of the group,"

"Easy for you to say, you were the fuck kitten,"

"Hey now, I like that nick name. I EARNED that nick name. Just like you earned Virgin,"

"Bite me," He said in a mock huff.

"You are too cute," I laughed, leaning in and kissing him softly.

"I know," He agreed. "Why don't we go upstairs and I'll show you how cute I can be?" He spoke seductively into my ear.

As much as I loved Chris, and as much as I'd wanted to for so long, I knew I couldn't do it. I had so many thoughts, and so many emotions running through me, my sex brain had been temporarily disconnected. Sex was my speciality, so I really didn't want my first time with Chris to be anything short of phenomenal.

"Chris, I really want to. But, I don't think I'm up for it tonight,"

"Jeffy, I was kidding. Do you actually think I'd ever use such a lame ass line?" He laughed, punching me playfully in the shoulder.

"Actually Chris, you would. I've been out clubbing with you before," I laughed, reminding him of his inability to score.

"You shut up," He whined, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Aw, did I hurt your feelings?" I mocked, sticking out my bottom lip.

"Yes,"

"Well what can I do to make you feel better?"

"Go upstairs and cuddle with me?"

"I'd love to,"

Chris leaned over and kissed me quickly on the lips before hopping to his feet. He pulled me to mine, then began to drag me in the direction of the stairs. We walked up the stairs and began to survey the bedroom situation. The room that Trish and I had declared our own was obviously occupied, the door being locked and all. We stood at the door for a second and put our ears to it. The obvious sounds of the bed creaking could be heard, but we couldn't make out any voices. Just as we were about to walk away, we heard Trish scream out "Oh Billy!" Chris and I began to giggle like school girls as we walked away from the door. I made a mental note to rag on her about that all through tomorrow.

We walked down past a few more closed doors before finding an empty one. We walked in, and Chris took a running leap for the bed. I shook my head at him as I walked over and sat next to him. I ran my fingers through his silky blonde hair, staring deep into his gorgeous blue eyes. I leaned down and softly kissed his lips. Our lips connected softly several times, before I felt Chris' mouth open slightly. I slipped my tongue in slowly, and soon felt his tongue softly caress mine. Our tongues writhed passionately against each other, years of lost passion returning in one simple kiss. As we broke for air, that unmistakable grin was stretched across Chris' face.

"I love you," He spoke softly.

"I love you too," I replied, laying down on the bed.

"I snuggled my head onto Chris' chest and felt his arm slip around me. I felt him sigh in contentment, and reciprocated with a sigh of my own. The first night of the reunion, and already things were looking great for me. So I was going to have to put up with Matt and Shannon all weekend, that didn't seem so hard now. Anytime they started getting sexual, I could just start with Chris, and not have to pay attention to them. But that's hardly what I wanted Chris for. Fuck Matt and his cheap imitation of me. I had Chris now, the man who REALLY loved me. The man I loved long before Matt. The man who made me feel like I mattered in the world. The man I needed in my life. I never expected things to turn out like this when I packed my bag for this reunion. But now that they had, I couldn't possibly be more thankful.

• • • I awoke the next morning and looked over in horror as I saw blonde hair on the pillow next to mine. Thoughts of the previous morning, and Trish laying next to me swamped my mind. But as I pulled the sheet down, I was met with the pleasant site of Chris' muscular torso. I smiled at the peaceful look on his face, and kissed him lightly on the forehead. He murmured quietly in his sleep, and turned onto his other side. I slipped quietly from bed, and made my way from the room. I walked past the room where Trish had been last night and noticed the door open a crack. I pushed it open slowly, and noticed only Billy laying there, completely naked. I now understood why Trish was screaming "Oh Billy!" last night. 'God, that thing is huge, and on such a little guy,' I thought to myself. I shook my eyes from Billy's naked form and continued my trip downstairs. As I walked into the kitchen, I noticed MY girls (Trish, Stephanie, and Stacy) sitting around the bar drinking coffee.

"Morning beautifuls," I said as I walked in and poured myself a cup of coffee.

"Morning," Trish replied, followed by a yawn. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah Jeffy, how did you sleep?" Stephanie asked with a huge grin on her face.

It was obvious now that they all knew of Chris and me. All that was left now was to admit my "guilt." But I wasn't going to let them win that easily. Not without busting Trish on her late night escapades first.

"Not as well as you Trishy, apparently," I replied, smirking in her direction.

"Whatever do you mean?" She asked coyly.

"Don't play dumb with me. Chris and I passed your room just in time to hear you scream 'Oh Billy!'."

"What?" Stacy and Stephanie in unison, focusing their attention on Trish.

"We didn't do anything," Trish said plainly, trying her best to lie.

"Right Trishy, neither did me and Rob," Stephanie mocked. "Spill it bitch,"

"We didn't do anything!" Trish yelled in return.

"Sure you didn't Trishy. That's why Billy is upstairs, in your room, buck naked, right?" I asked, tossing a napkin in her direction.

"You're a terrible actress Trishy, might as well tell us," Stacy spoke as she refilled her cup of coffee.

"Fine. We fucked! Okay? And it was really good!" She yelled.

"See, don't you feel better?" Stacy asked

"I hate you all," Trish replied, pouring herself more coffee.

"Your turn Jeffy, fess up," Stephanie ordered.

"There seriously is nothing to confess. Chris and I didn't do anything but sleep," I replied truthfully.

"My lord," Trish said, walking over and looking me in the eye. "I think he's telling the truth," This was hilarious sometimes. I, like Trish, was a terrible actor. I couldn't lie to these three if my life depended on it. They always knew when I was telling the truth. Hell, pretty much anyone could tell when I was lying if they looked me in the eye, or so I'm told. My dad had always said my eyes spoke my guilt. I'd never really looked at myself in the mirror when I lied, so I couldn't tell you if that was true or not. But I did know for sure that I could never lie to these three and get away with it.

"He is, look at his eyes," Stephanie said simply. Guess my eyes are my telling point.

"You spent the entire night in bed with Chris and you didn't do anything sexual?" Stacy asked in disbelief.

"Totally. We're in love you guys, we don't need sex,"

"Right, that love where you guys both know but don't do anything about it," Stephanie said snippily.

Stephanie had never been the biggest fan of my situation with Chris. She loved Chris like a brother, but when it came to his loving me, she didn't like it. She always said he was only leading me on. Or that he was only telling me because he knew that's what I needed to hear. I never listened to her of course. Even though we'd never REALLY acted on it, I knew Chris loved me. Like me, I guess, his eyes told his soul. But it wasn't just his eyes. The feelings that coursed between us could be nothing other than love. Stephanie may not have been able to see it, but it was there. Chris loved me, and I loved him.

"Oh no, we'll act on it this time," I replied. "Since we're actually an item now,"

"What do you mean an item?" Stacy asked.

"We made it official last night. Me and Chris are officially together,"

"About damn time," Trish said.

"What about Mark?" Stacy asked.

Oh my God. This was the first time that Mark had even crossed my mind since I'd been here. It had completely slipped my mind that there was this amazing guy back in New York who was totally in love with me. I was saddened at the thought of telling him. Mark was such a great guy. He deserved so much better than me. He deserved a guy to love him. And as much as it bothered me sometimes, I wasn't that guy. But I still cared for Mark. I really didn't want to hurt him. But there was no way around it. I'd found what I was looking for with Chris. It's just a shame that Mark had to be hurt because of it.

"I don't know. I'll have to tell him I guess," I replied.

"That's sad, I like Mark," Trish explained, sticking out her bottom lip.

"You are not helping," I returned, frowning slightly in her direction.

"Well, it's true. I..."

"You fucking slut!" We heard yelled from upstairs.

The four of us quickly ran upstairs and to the source of the noise. The other members of the group had wandered into the hall to see what the commotion was about. Chris walked over to me, still clad in nothing but his boxers, and put his arm around my shoulders. We pushed past everyone and moved to the front, where I saw Matt standing outside the door to Trish's room. It was then that it occurred to me, the voice we had heard had been Matt's. Chris took his arm from my shoulder and walked up to Matt. I followed closely behind and gave a glance in the bedroom, where I noticed Shannon sitting on the bed next to a naked Billy. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what the shout had been about.

"What's going on?" Chris asked.

"Those two fucking whores were just going at it," Matt replied angrily, pointing into the bedroom where Billy and Shannon sat on the bed.

"Matty, I'm sorry," Shannon pleaded, walking toward the door wrapped in a sheet.

"Fuck you Shannon!" Matt yelled, pushing past him and walking down the hall to one of the bedrooms.

He stomped into the room and slammed the door behind him. Everyone in the group began to look at each other for what to do next. As I glanced over at Trish, I saw the hurt in her eyes. She walked up to the bedroom door and stared in at Billy. He quickly hopped to his feet and began to walk toward her.

"Trish, It's not what it looks like,"

"Go to hell," She said through her tears.

She walked off in the opposite direction that Matt had and into the room where Chris and I had slept. She too slammed the door behind her. Billy dropped to the floor and began to sob, to the surprise of everyone standing in the hall. No one really knew how to act toward the two who'd just been caught cheating. No one really paid attention to Shannon as he sat weeping on the bed inside the bedroom. But Billy was our friend, so Amy took the job of comforting him. I motioned to Stephanie that I would take Trish, and for her to take Matt. She nodded her head and walked in the direction of the room where Matt was. I walked to Trish, and tapped lightly on the door she was behind.

"Trishy, can I come in?" I asked quietly.

"No," She sobbed.

It wasn't often Trish cried, so it was hard to diagnose if the no really meant no. But playing off my instincts, I opened the door and walked in anyway. Trish lay on the bed with her face buried in a pillow. Her tears were silent, but the sobbing was visible from the shaking of her body. I walked over and sat down next to her. She didn't lift her head from the pillow. I grabbed her hand in mine and squeezed lightly. She responded with a squeeze of her own, but still didn't raise her head. I began to run my fingers slowly through her hair.

"Why you so upset Muffin? I didn't even know you liked Billy,"

"No one did. It's one of those things I kept quiet," She replied, sniffling at the end of her sentence.

"What happened last night?"

"We got together. Like you and Chris together. And then he turns out like every other man in my life,"

"What about me?"

"You know I don't consider you a man," She joked stalely.

"Thanks," I laughed.

"God, why him too?" She asked, flipping onto her back. "Why do men always shit on me?"

"It's our curse. Mine, your's, and Stacy's,"

"Men don't shit on Stacy,"

"I don't know, some of those women are kinda manly," I joked, smirking at her.

"Think they would let me in the lesbian club?" She asked, laughing stalely.

"You like dick too much honey. That's why we get along so well," I replied, smiling down at her.

That got a hearty laugh out of her. Once her laughter had ceased, she sat up on the bed and hugged me. We stayed like that for minutes before she separated. She looked over at me with sadness in her usual fiery eyes. But as sad as she was, she still forced a smile.

"I love you Jeffy,"

"I love you too bitch,"

"That song is so true, you know?"

"What song?"

"All, it would take all of my life. To find someone more there for me," She sang softly. "You're always there for me Jeffy, thank you,"

"I always will be. I promise," I said, squeezing her hand again.

"Can I hide in here all day? I don't feel like facing everyone,"

"Nah, gotta face em sometime. The fun won't come to you,"

The words had no sooner left my mouth when Stephanie walked in. She shut the door behind her and walked over toward us. She crawled in bed next to Trish and laid her head sympathetically on Trish's shoulder. Trish patted her head softly with a "Good Dog", which was met with a "Bite me" from Stephanie. I shook my head at the two of them before Stephanie started speaking.

"Jeffy, Matt wants to see you,"

"What?" I asked in total shock.

"He asked me to come in here and get you. He wants to talk to you," She replied simply.

But simple however, that was not. Matt and I hadn't spoken since the break up. Not at Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any other family holiday we were forced to be together on. Our dad encouraged us to get over ourselves and become a family again. We didn't tell him this of course, but we both pretty much knew that was impossible. Kind of hard to look at someone the same after they've hurt you more than words can ever say. But I still loved Matt, sadly enough. But I knew there was no way I could pretend what happened between us never did. Matt and I both knew that we were risking a lot to be together. But it was a risk we were both willing to take at that point. I don't think either one of us thought it would affect us so much later on. Maybe the thing with Shannon had made Matt realize how badly he'd hurt me? Or maybe he wanted to blame me for what happened with Shannon and Billy? Or maybe he wanted to ask me where I got my hair dye, I really had no clue. The only way to find out was to take the risk, and go talk to him. I flashed a questioning look at the girls, then announced I'd be right back.

When I walked out into the hall, everyone had dispersed from earlier. I made the walk down the hall to Matt's room, and tapped lightly on the door. I heard a muffled "Come in" followed by a sniffle. I walked in cautiously and shut the door behind me. I walked over toward him and took a seat in a chair near the bed. He sat up quickly and wiped his eyes. I was glad he did that. Because, even after all we'd been through, it was still hard for me to see Matt cry.

"Thanks for coming," He said, clearing his throat.

"I was only down the hall Matt. It's not like I chartered a plane,"

"I know. But I mean, we don't really talk anymore. You didn't have to come,"

"We don't talk. Which is why I want to know what you wanted,"

Jeff, can you stop acting like a shithead for just a few minutes? What I have to say is important,"

Sorry,"

I wasn't really sorry. Acting like a shithead with Matt was something that just came natural. Sure, we were lovers, but we were brothers before that. So annoying each other was second nature, no matter how long we went in between conversations. But a lot of the way I had just acted didn't come from the brotherly instincts, but from bitterness. Underneath all of the pain I held toward Matt, there was anger. He threw me out like a Spice Girls CD to have some torrid little thing with a cheap K-Mart knock-off of yours truly. There was no possible way I couldn't hold a grudge for that. I hated Shannon, and Matt knew that. And to be replaced by that, that was a grudge that was following me to my grave.

"I really don't know how to say this," He started, pausing to take a deep breath. "I'm sorry,"

"You're sorry?" I asked in total shock.

"Yes, for everything. I hurt you pretty bad, I know," 'Yeah, I'll say.' I thought to myself. 'Hurt isn't the word. Destroyed, that's the word.' Where the hell was this coming from? Was I right when I guessed that Shannon fucking him over made him realize how bad he fucked me? Or did this still have the possibility to turn totally ugly? Hell, this was Matt, anything could turn ugly. He had the most unpredictable temper on any man on Earth.

"Where is this coming from Matt? Why are you sorry now?" I asked.

"I've been wanting to say it for a while Jeffy, I really have. But the thing just now with Shannon made me realize how stupid I was. I never should've left you Jeffy," He replied, standing and walking toward me. I stood up and looked him in the eye, in a desperate attempt to see where he was coming from. But alas, those deep brown eyes remained silent.

"Matt....."

Before I even had the chance to finish my sentence, I felt Matt's lips hit mine. My body began to surge with feelings long since tucked away. The passion that still existed between the two of us was incredible. Our lips mashed together in a sloppy, passionate fury. My mind had been so over flowed with passion, I could hardly think. But as I felt Matt's tongue begin to press against my lips, thoughts of Chris were jammed violently into my mind. I immediately pushed Matt away.

"I can't do this," I said, wiping my mouth with my hand.

"Why not?" He asked, confused.

"Because Matt, I'm with Chris now. And how do I know that you're not doing this to get back at Shannon?"

"I would never use you to get back at him Jeffy, you know that," He explained, sitting back down on the bed.

"How do I know that Matty? I haven't talked to you in a year. And when I did know you last, you weren't the same person I once knew,"

"I love you Jeffy. I made some stupid mistakes. But I want to make up for them,"

"I'm sorry Matty. But I'm with Chris now. I love Chris,"

"Look me in the eye and tell me you love him more than me," He said, walking over to me and putting his arms on my shoulders. "You look me in the eye and tell me you love him more than me, and I'll leave you alone,"

As I stood there staring into the dark brown eyes of my big brother, I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him I loved Chris more than him, because I didn't honestly know if it was true. Sure, before I'd seen Matt, or more importantly, before I kissed Matt, I could tell myself that I loved Chris more. But now, after the feelings that emerged from one simple kiss, I wasn't so sure. In defeat, I lowered my eyes from Matt's.

"You can't do it, can you?" He asked.

"No, Matt, I can't. I don't know who I love,"

"You love me Jeffy. You know you do," He said, leaning in to kiss me again. I quickly turned my head away.

"Stop," I said firmly, pushing him away from me. "I said I don't know, and I meant I don't know. I need time," I said, opening the door and walking out of the room.

I walked quietly down the hall and back to the room where I had left Trish and Stephanie. They were exactly how I had left them, sitting next to each other on the bed. But I was happy to see that they were laughing. I plopped down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. So much was racing through my mind, I was hardly paying attention to what Trish and Stephanie were saying to me. It was Stephanie's foot in my ribs that got my attention.

"What happened in there?" She asked.

"He pissed in my cornflakes," I replied, trying to make light of a situation that was driving me crazy inside my head.

"What?" Trish laughed.

"He wants me back,"

"Oh God," Stephanie gasped. "Does he know about Chris?"

"Yes, he sure didn't seem to care however," I replied.

"What are you gonna do?" Stephanie asked again.

"I don't know,"

"What do you mean you don't know?" Trish asked, a hint of anger in her voice.

I was waiting for that reaction. Trish had been there the entire time I struggled to get over Matt. She and Chris rebuilt me, basically. So every time I even thought about getting back with Matt, or even mentioned his name in a non-brotherly way, she would explode. She claimed she still liked Matt, but not in relation to me. I didn't buy it personally. She held a grudge against him for what he did to me. She may be smiling in his face, but in her head she's thinking "Stay away from Jeff." Trish was very much my emotional bodyguard. And whenever I put myself in harm's way, she was right there to talk me out of it. I knew I'd get no Pro-Matt help from her.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do," I replied quietly.

"How could you put yourself in that position again? Do you remember what he did to you last time?"

"Of course I remember what he did to me last time," I almost yelled, sitting up on the bed.

"Easy guys," Stephanie said, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Jeffy, he crushed you. And he got off on it. Seriously, how could you put yourself in that position again?" Trish asked, intensity wild in her eyes.

"I didn't even say I was going to Trish. But you know what he means to me. This is really hard for me, I'd expect you to help me out a little here. You're my best friend,"

"I am your best friend. That's why I'm telling you to forget about Matt," She said, grabbing my hand in hers. "Chris loves you Jeffy, genuinely,"

"He does," Stephanie piped in. "Any moron can see that, even you," She joked.

"Guys, I love Chris. I do, I really do. But I love Matt too. And I owe it to myself to make sure I'm going to be with the one I love more,"

"Just think about what I said?" Trish pleaded as I stood up from the bed.

"I will. I just need some time to clear my head. If anyone asks, tell them I'm on the roof,"

I walked out of the room no more sure of this decision as I had been when I entered. My mind was running rampant with possibilities. Trish was right in what she said. Matt had crushed me, and got off on it. But he seemed so different now. Like the old Matt, MY Matt. But then there was Chris. Beautiful, wonderful, absolutely perfect Chris. He'd never done anything to hurt me, ever, in the 10 years or more I'd known him. He treated me like a king. He was so gentle, and loving. But perhaps that's why I still wanted Matt. Maybe I liked the bad guys? Maybe I wanted the possibility of hurt to be there? Maybe I wanted the taboo of dating my big brother? Maybe I just wanted the really good sex, like so much else in my life, I had no fucking clue. All I knew was that I needed to be alone. So I walked to the attic, and climbed out a window onto the roof. I sighed as I lay back on the roof, staring out into the bright California sky.

I hated big decisions. I sometimes wished I'd never grown up, so I wouldn't have to make any. I could barely decide what laundry soap to buy, and here I was faced with a decision that could impact the rest of my life. I wish there was a real scale that I could weigh the sides on. "Matt, Chris, I can't decide, please step onto the scale," If only things were that easy. If they were, I'd be done with this pain and inside making sweet love to whichever one I chose. But instead, I got to sit on a roof in the California sun, giving myself a headache over which to choose. And even as I sat here in total quiet, just me and my thoughts, I still couldn't choose. 'Maybe I shouldn't pick either one, and go back to NY and live a drug filled life with Lance? Ha, that's a good one.' I could have made that decision easily. But then again, I never could choose between Lance and Mark, so I had both. Nothing like having your cake and eating it too. But that was hardly an option in this situation. Love was involved in this one, not cheap, sweaty sex.

I was left undisturbed for most of the day. Stacy came out to check on me a couple times, bring me something to drink, but that was it. I snuck back inside a few times to piss, but then went right back to the roof. Tell you one thing, I was gonna have one hell of a suntan when this day was through. A suntan, and still no clue on what to do. At this rate, I was going to be out here until we left for home tomorrow. I'd spend all week out here, as long as I was sure I made the right decision when I went in. But I was no closer to the right decision now as I had been at ten this morning. As the sun began to set, I stretched out, and lay back on the roof. As I took the last drink of the beer Stacy had brought me, Billy walked out onto the roof. I was surprised he'd been brave enough to do so. He knew how close Trish and I were, and he'd fucked her over pretty well today. But in all honesty, I wasn't that upset. I had enough of my own problems to deal with. Trish was a survivor, I knew she could handle it. I glanced over at Billy briefly, then turned my eyes back to the sunset.

"If you want me to fuck off, I'll understand," He said, still standing close to the window.

"You're fine," I replied, not taking my gaze from the sunset.

"Listen, about earlier, with Trish," He said, taking a seat next to me.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me Billy. You were just getting some action. I probably would've done the same thing, but not with Shannon," I replied, still gazing at the sunset.

"I wasn't though. Shannon was on me, I swear it,"

"I wouldn't put it past the cock hungry little whore,"

"But Trish won't let me anywhere near her to even try to tell her what happened. Smoke?" He asked, lighting a cigarette.

"Yeah, gimme one of those," I replied.

Billy handed me the lit cigarette, and proceeded to light one for himself. We stayed silent for a few minutes as the remaining speck of sunlight disappeared. Almost eight hours on this roof, and still no decision. I guess I wasn't surprised. I hoped the decision would be easy, but I never expected it to be. My heart was torn in half. Even in total silence, I couldn't think straight. One second I could say I was leaning toward Chris, but the next second I'd say Matt. I was starting to think I'd never reach a decision. I was just going to spend the rest of my life on this roof trying to decide which guy I loved more. I was whining so much in my head, I was starting to annoy myself. I knew he'd had about as many relationships as most first graders, but I decided to ask Billy for his advice.

"You're bi Bill, right?"

"Aren't we all?" He laughed.

"I think so. Anyway, who would you pick between Chris and Matt?"

"For sex, or like a relationship?"

"Relationship,"

"That's easy,"

I could have slapped him for saying that. He had no idea how NOT easy this was. "What do you mean it's easy?"

"It's simple Jeffy. Look at history. Matt is an evil man when it comes to relationships. He was with Amy, he definitely was with you, and he was with Shannon to an extent,"

Call it selective memory, or too many drugs, but I had forgotten all about Amy and Matt together. Now that the memories came rushing back to me, I got a strange sense of deja vu. Everything that had happened with he and Amy, had eventually happened with me and him. Almost to a tee. Everything started out perfect. Sweet, loving Matthew Hardy, Amy helplessly in love. Then Matt gets tired of his toy, and replaces her. With me. Amy meanwhile is totally crushed, while Matt is reveling in his victory with his new love. Until of course he tires of me. Then it's Same Script Different Cast, me playing the role of Amy. But of course, there are a few re-writes in this script, which have me being even more hurt than Amy. Must've been sweeps. I couldn't believe I had forgotten about all of that. Billy was right. This was easy.

"Thanks Billy. You do not know how much you just helped me," I said as I walked back toward the window.

"Jeff, wait," He called as I stepped back in the window. I stopped and sat on the sill. "What should I do about Trish?"

"Do you love her?"

"Yeah, I think I do,"

"Can't think Kidman, you gotta know for sure before I help you out. That's my best friend you're talking about,"

"I do, I do love her,"

"All right. I'll take care of her, you just wait out here," I said, stepping back inside.

"FK," He called after me again. I turned back to look at him. "Thanks,"

"You better take care of her. Or you'll be answering to me. And more importantly, Stacy," I laughed as I walked toward the door.

I bounded down the stairs happily and made my way into the media room. I laughed as I noticed Stephanie and Rob making out furiously as Trish and Stacy threw things at them. I walked up behind Trish and Stacy quietly, then tossed my arms around their necks. They shrieked, which got a slight reaction from Rob and Stephanie before they resumed their make-out session. I walked around to the front of the couch, and sat in between Trish and Stacy. I leaned over and kissed each one on the cheek.

"Aren't we the happy one? What happened out there?" Stacy asked

"Reached my decision," I replied happily.

"Tell me it's Chris. PLEASE tell me it's Chris," Trish begged.

"It's Chris," I replied.

"Yes!" Trish exclaimed, reaching over and hugging me.

"One little thing first," I explained, breaking free from her arms.

"What?" She asked.

"You have to go talk to Billy,"

"No fucking way," She said, instantly somber.

"Yes. He's really upset, Trishy. He said he loved you,"

I watched with amusement as her eyes lit up. She glanced over at Stacy and me questioningly, then over at Rob and Stephanie.

"Well, I don't think they'll be much help," She said, shaking her head.

"Go talk to him woman," Stacy ordered, pointing at the stairs.

"I'm going," She said, standing up and leaving the room.

Stacy and I laughed as she made her way up the stairs. Once Trish was at the top of the stairs, she turned and flipped us both off before opening the door that led to the attic. Stacy resumed her game of "Toss stuff at the straight people" while I looked on. I wasn't really paying attention to them. I zoned out into my own little world. I was rehearsing in my mind just how I planned to tell Matt. 'You're an evil SOB Matt. Not a chance.' That one would probably get me my ass kicked. And he wasn't a SOB. Our mom was a great woman. The only easy way to tell him was to tell him the truth. 'I'm sorry Matt. But I love Chris more,' Yeah, that was the way. I announced my departure to Stacy, then made my way upstairs to find Matt.

When I looked in the room where Matt had been earlier, I was surprised to see Chris sitting there with his head in his hands. This was an obvious sign that something was on his mind. I walked in quietly and put my hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly then jerked his head up to look at me. It was like a shot to the heart as I saw the teardrops on his face. I immediately dropped to my knees and began stroking his cheek.

"Chris, what's wrong?"

"Jeff," He said, trying to choke back his tears. "Matt talked to me,"

"Well whatever he...." I started before Chris cut me off.

"No, listen to me," He said, taking a deep breath.

"I'm gonna step aside. I know how much you love Matt. I just want you to be happy Jeffy,"

If I had still been undecided at that point, that would've made the decision for me. And it wouldn't have been for Matt. Never in my life had a guy cared enough to do something like that. Chris was willing to sacrifice his own happiness just to see me happy. That one statement made me love him even more. I looked up into his saddened blue eyes and wiped away a tear with my finger. I leaned up slightly and planted a kiss softly on his lips.

"Chris. I'm not going back to Matt. I love you," spoke softly, staring deep into his eyes.

"Really?" He asked

"Really," I replied.

"Oh Jeffy!" He exclaimed, pulling me to my feet.

He brought his lips passionately to mine. The feelings that occurred from the kiss with Matt paled in comparison to the feelings now coursing through my body. Almost instinctively I began to slide my hands up Chris' shirt. I felt him shudder under my touch. Taking the next step, I pushed him gently onto the bed. I straddled him and allowed my kisses to drift slowly to his neck. I began to nip lightly at his neck, coaxing soft moans from Chris. I felt his hands begin to undo the buttons on my shirt. I stopped the kisses only momentarily to remove my shirt. I tossed it to the floor and quickly resumed my kisses. Chris pulled me tightly to him, and flipped me over on the bed. Our lips connected sensuously for only brief seconds before I felt them on my neck. I began to run my fingers through his silky blonde hair. I felt his kisses begin to drift lower, down to my chest. He paused as he reached my nipples, and sat up on the bed.

"You are so beautiful Jeff,"

"And you haven't even seen the best part," I said coyly.

"Oh, but I will," He said

He brought his hand slowly to my crotch, and one handed, undid the button on my jeans. He unzipped them and slowly pulled them down, leaving me in nothing but my boxers. He straddled me this time, and began to suck softly at my neck. I began to slide my hands up his shirt, slowly to feel each ripple of his abs. He brought his lips from my neck, and shucked his shirt to the floor. Our bare chests connected, sending chills throughout my body. Chris giggled slightly before plunging his tongue into my mouth. As our tongues dueled, I felt his hand slip past the waist of my boxers, and grasp my already throbbing cock. I gasped over his mouth as his hand wrapped around my swollen inches. He began jerking it lightly as our tongues continued to wrestle.

I whimpered lightly as his lips left mine. But I would soon be moaning, as only seconds later I would feel his tongue on my nipples. As he tongue bathed my nipples, he began to slide my boxers down slowly. His hand once again found my swollen member, and he began to stroke it in quick jerks. I moaned out quietly, in case there were people outside, like he and I had done to Trish and Billy the previous night. His tongue soon trekked lower, down my abs, until I felt his breath on my crotch. I was trembling with anticipation. He looked up at me with a sensuous look in his sparkling blue eyes, then devoured my cock whole. I couldn't control myself, and moaned out loudly. The skill of his mouth thrust me hard into ecstacy. I buried my fingers deep in the sheets, clenching them together each time he hit that special spot. He looked up at me, and through my hazed eyes, I saw him smile. He began to massage my balls lightly, causing me to thrust up into his mouth. As his hand began to press softly against my anus, the thought hit me. As good as this was, I wanted more.

"Chris," I breathed, running my fingers through his hair.

"Huh?" He asked, lifting his head from my cock.

"Make love to me,"

That unmistakable smirk was instantly stretched across his face. He brought his hands to his jeans, and seductively began to undo the button fly. Once that was done, he slid them slowly to the floor, then stood before me in nothing but a pair of red silk boxers. He smiled that sexy smile at me once more as he tucked his fingers under the waist of his boxers. In one quick motioned, he pulled them down and to the floor. I gasped at the beauty of his 7" cock. He jerked it slowly a couple times, coaxing a lazy bubble of pre cum from the tip. He reached into the night stand and pulled out a tube of lube. Lucky for us this was Matt's room, and not Stacy's. Probably would've killed the mood to have to get dressed and find lube.

He squirted some onto his fingers and brought them to my anus. He slid one in slowly, and massaged it around slowly, causing me to moan out. After a few minutes of one finger, he slowly slid in the other one. I was once again in ecstacy from the feelings Chris was bringing me. I soon felt a third finger slide in. Once I was relaxed enough, his fingers slipped from my hole. He lifted my legs onto his shoulders, and placed himself at my opening. I felt like screaming as his massive cock head pressed slowly into me. But the pain soon went away as he slid inch after inch into me. Once he was all the way in, he brought his lips softly to mine. We kissed softly for minutes before his gentle thrusting began. I felt his hand drift down my body and grasp once more around my cock. He began to jerk quickly, until he got insync with his fucking. My body was over-run with pleasure. Each time Chris thrust in, his cock would tap against my prostate, causing me to moan out loudly with each thrust. Our kissing became a passionate fury as our love making continued. I could feel myself getting closer with each thrust. Chris began to grunt softly as his thrusting speed increased. I soon reached orgasm, my cum spilling over Chris' hand, and my ass clenching tightly around his cock. That thrust him into orgasm, and as the first shot of his seed entered me, he looked deeply into my eyes and said "I love you." He deposited 9 more shots into me before he slowly pulled himself from my ass. He quickly lapped up my cum, before laying back on the bed. He pulled me on top of him, and I lay my head on his chest.

"I love you Jeff Hardy," He said, softly stroking my rainbow colored hair.

"I love you Chris Jericho," I replied.

We lay like that for hours. Neither one of us sleeping, but just enjoying the fact, we were together. I truly realized now that I really did love Chris more. Sex with Matt had never been that way. Never so loving, so passionate, so intense. I loved Chris so much. As I lay here in his arms, I couldn't believe I had thought about leaving him. No matter how much he could've tried, Matt could have never compared to this. This, was real. Sitting there in the silence, the song popped back into my head. "I'd never have known, the way it feels to love. Without the love you showered down upon me. Warm as the sun. Melting away the rain. Giving me the strength to face another morning. So many times I felt afraid and turned to you to find my way. I reach inside and find you there. You are with me everywhere. All, it would take all of my life to find someone more there for me, there for me. And I'm never alone, cause in my heart I know. You're always there for me, There for me."

Chris and I never moved from that bed for the rest of the night. The next morning, as he slept peacefully, I slipped from bed and made my way downstairs. I gave a glance into the kitchen, and noticed it was empty. So I made my way into the media room, where I found whom I was looking for, Matt. I walked over quietly and nudged him in the arm. He awoke, and rubbed at his eyes. I sat down in the chair across from him.

"Matt, we need to talk,"

"No need Jeffy. I already know about you and Chris. Shit, the whole house knows. You're quite the moaner baby brother,"

I felt my cheeks become instantly red. I tried to keep quiet. But I failed. But if any of them were having sex with Chris, they'd totally understand the need to moan.

"You're not mad?" I asked once the redness in my cheeks subsided.

"Na. Chris deserves you Jeffy. I sure as hell don't, that's for sure. I deserved what Shannon did to me and more. I'm just not a good person with relationships,"

"We had good times Matty. It just turned bad. But I block those memories out. I want to remember you as the good Matt."

"We did have some good times didn't we?"

"Yeah, we did. And we can have more. I've missed you big brother,"

"I've missed you too,: And with that, we shared our first hug in over a year. It may sound stupid to say, but I feel that hug re-connected us as brothers. There was a lot of damage between us, no denying that. But with time, I'm sure we could work it out. We were brothers after all. After we separated, Matt left to take a shower. So I laid down on the couch and thought about everything that had happened this weekend. Namely, the Matt-Chris situation. I'm sure Matt would always have a piece of my heart. But the majority of it now belonged to Chris. But unlike Matt, I had given it to Chris voluntarily. And I hoped deep in my heart, that it would always stay that way. It had taken me so long to get Chris. And now that I had him, I wasn't going to let go until he pried me off with a crowbar.

The 14 of us, Shannon included, spent the entire rest of the day together. We bullshitted around, played card games, whatever. Just soaking up as much of each other as possible, knowing that it would probably be an entire year before we saw each other again. The last days of these reunions were always the best. Whatever problems had occurred the past two days were forgotten for this one day. Everyone got along (Yes, even me and Shannon), and everyone had fun. Sober fun, which is kind of an odd occurrence for this group.

The night ended after a nice dinner prepared by the great folks at Pizza Hut. Once dinner was finished, we all gathered up our things and prepared to leave, depending on the time of our flight. Trish, Stephanie and I had booked red eye flights back to the East Coast, leaving at 12:00 midnight. Chris called during the day, and changed his ticket from Canada to New York, with me. The four of us got a good hour alone before our taxi arrived. Once it did, Chris and I loaded up the bags, and waited for the girls the join us. As Stephanie was locking the door behind us, she uttered a phrase that made all of us smile.

"Well house, see you next year,".........

THE END?