The Wounds Within My Heart By James
Disclaimer
If you're not of the legal age to read this story, or if you're offended by this type of material then leave now. This story may at times contain sex and romantic moments between consenting teenaged males. It also may contain scenes of Hate Speech towards people of different races, sexual orientations, disability groups and others. If you can't handle reading about that, then leave.
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Finally, if you like this story and haven't done this already. Let my E-mail address jamesheady1985@gmail.com know that you have a secret you'd like to whisper to it. When it leans close so that you're mouth is against its ear scream into it as loud as you can for ten seconds. Run away after that.
Thanks once again to K. for another well-done editing job. I really appreciate the time you take editing and fixing any mistakes in each chapter of this story. Thank you.
Part Three
Going Home
Chapter Nine
Nohea
I entered the house, and after entering my room I sat my bags down on the bed. I moved to unzip them to start taking stuff out, but Triston was racing towards the doorway of my room. He was at my side instantly now, and had his hands over mine as I pulled the zipper down on the first bag.
"I'm glad to see you too," I said.
We hugged for a long moment, and having him there with me eased some of the sadness I was feeling. I loved Triston as my younger brother already, and I reminded myself as we stood there hugging. I had promised myself last weekend that I was going to always be there for him, as well as be the best older brother he could ever have. I reaffirmed that promise to myself now, and felt more love for him than I could put into words.
"You can help me unpack my bags if you want," I said.
We separated, and he helped me with organizing everything. It didn't take as long, and I was glad to have everything put away. Once that was done, Triston and I sat on the back deck enjoying some lemonade. Aunt Beth brought it over earlier that day, and I was glad she did!
"Do you know what you wanted to do this weekend?" I asked.
"Swimming," Triston typed.
Over the last couple of days, our dad had ordered a device that had Text-to-Speech software on it. Triston's workers and teacher said a few weeks ago that he was doing really well with reading and writing. They said that he was good enough with it at this point so that he could start on a device where he could type what he wanted to say. Our dad also got it for him so I could hear what he was saying since when we first met he had been using a letter board which wasn't technological. It didn't talk in other words. I was glad to see that his device arrived, and he was doing really well with using it.
"That sounds really good," I said. "We should enjoy getting as much swimming in as we can since it'll be getting cool out soon. It won't be long before Fall comes."
"I like the Fall," he said. "The leaves are really pretty to look at. I can't wait to do a lot of swimming with you!"
"Me too," I said. "I also really love the Fall. Winter is my favorite time of year though. What do you like to do in-doors when you can't be outside?"
"Bowling, drawing and watching stuff on either TV or on the computer," he answered.
"All those activities sound really good," I replied. "I enjoy bowling especially."
He smiled, and after we finished our lemonade we went back into the house where our dad was exiting his home office.
"Did you guys enjoy being outside," he asked.
"Yeah," Triston answered.
"I did as well," I replied. "I really love our back yard."
"I love it too," Triston said.
"Me too," our dad responded. "Anyway, I was thinking of going into town and getting either steaks to grill out, or chicken. Do you guys have a preference?"
"What would you like?" I asked turning to Triston.
"Steak!" he replied.
"That sounds good!" I answered.
We discussed it further, and we all agreed on baked potatoes and corn to go along with the steak.
"Do you guys want to go with me?" our dad asked.
"That sounds good," I said.
Triston agreed, and we all got in the car. It didn't take us too long. We found what we needed while at the store. Once we got the food for dinner, our dad headed down another isle. He said it was a surprise, and as he headed towards what he was looking for Triston and I stood there waiting for him. Once he returned, he took us to the check-out area. We paid for everything, then returned home. After a call to Aunt Beth to see what she was doing for dinner she joined us.
Dinner turned out really well! Aunt Beth and I helped with getting the potatoes and corn ready. Triston helped with getting the grill ready and soon the food was ready. It was really nice having my family around me. I was glad to be home, and I felt truly safe and loved at that moment sitting there with them. Once we finished, our dad got up, and told us he would be back in a moment.
He returned after a moment, and he sat something down in the middle of the table. He said that it was an ice-cream cake. It was decorated with pink and blue flowers and was chocolate with vanilla icing.
"It's to welcome you home Nohea," he said as he began cutting pieces of it. "I wanted to surprise you, and I hope you really like it."
"I really do," I said truly touched.
I really enjoyed the cake, and I was glad to see that everyone else was as well. After we finished our dessert, we went into the living room to visit for a little while longer. Eventually Aunt Beth returned home and after Triston went back into his room to relax it was just my dad and I out in the living room.
"I was going to sit out on the back deck for a bit if you wanted to join me," my dad said.
I agreed, and we sat out there in a couple of rocking chairs. The deck faced the woods, and it was really nice sitting out there that evening with him.
"How are you doing now since you've been home for a few hours?" my dad asked.
"I'm feeling a little better," I said turning to look at him.
"That's good," he answered. "I'm glad. I think that we should talk a little about what you living here is going to look like. I've seen you with Triston the few times you've been around him last weekend and this evening. He really loves you, and I can tell you really love him too."
"More than anything," I answered.
"Good," he said. "I know you'll be a really good older brother to him, and I trust you to be there for him as much as you can be."
"I will," I said.
"I'm glad," he responded. "You're probably wondering about school and your education."
"Yeah, I was thinking about that," I answered nervous about where he was going with this.
I was worried that he would say that I was going to have to keep going to the school for the blind. I didn't think I could handle being there again.
"I've had several talks with the principal who runs that school if that's what you even want to call it or him."
"What did you guys talk about?" I asked.
"He had a lot to say about you," my dad said, and I was feeling even more nervous now.
"I'm sure he did. Whatever he said, I want you to know that I wasn't trying to be difficult there."
"I know you weren't," my dad replied taking my hand. "He did make a huge deal about you supposedly not doing well on your school and homework. He continued to beat it into the ground about you needing to do better, but given everything going on with you lately I'm not surprised that you've been having trouble concentrating on school. He E-mailed me your grades, and they're good. He seemed to be more worried about your behavior, and how you didn't go out for sports or anything like that. Bottom line though is that you're done at that school."
"What?" I said not sure if I was hearing him correctly.
"You heard right," he said. "I've started the process to get you taken out of that school. There's one close by where you can go to, and they have non-disabled and sighted students. They also have disabled and partially and completely blind students there too. I visited the school Tuesday of this week, and I'll take you to see it on Monday. Would you like that?"
"That sounds good," I answered.
"They seem to really care about all the students," he went on. "When I told them about you, they said that they're really excited to meet you and to talk with you."
"Thanks," I said. "I really appreciate you looking into that."
"You're welcome," he answered.
"I imagine that the principal at the blind school had a lot to say about me being loud with my friends as well," I said.
"He did," my dad said. "I thought it was Bullshit and still do. I don't think you were doing anything different than any other kid either at that school or at any regular school."
"Thanks for saying that," I said. "They would always talk about how I needed to be more social at the school, then when I would be talking with some of the kids and joking around with them then they would have a problem with that. It's like I couldn't win no matter what I did. It was just so fucking cold and lonely there. Like everyone had to be a damn emotionless robot or something."
My dad hugged me, and it felt good to be in his arms again.
"I'm really sorry to hear that you were put through all of that," he said.
I wasn't crying, but was still upset about everything about that school. I was glad that my dad was holding me at that point.
"Thanks, that means a lot," I responded.
"You're welcome," he answered. "I think also we should talk about how I've been out of your life for all these years. I mean, if you want to wait and have that conversation later in a few days we can."
"I'm good with talking about it now," I said.
"Okay," he answered. "Like we talked about before, Barbra and I were really young when we had you. We were both inexperienced, and though I had a little more maturity than she I still had my own issues.
Barbra was into drugs and sometimes alcohol. I got her to quit most of it during the course of her being pregnant with you. It was hard to make her comply though. I had to threaten her with taking full custody of you when you were born. That got her to straighten up. Unfortunately she took you away a day after you were born as I told you before. Now for my part in all this.
"I had questioned my sexuality until I was 14. I came out to my family around that age as gay since I was sure that that's who I was. They kicked me out of the house and I had to go live with a foster family. It was during the last year of living with that family that I met Barbra. She and I had a lot of time completely unsupervised. So with that going on, we did what you'd probably expect two kids without much guidance to be doing. I don't care if two kids who like each other have sex as long as they respect one another's right to give or not give consent. I also don't care if they have sex as long as they're using protection and as long as they feel ready for it. Though Barbra and I consented to sex with each other every time we did it, we weren't too careful. That's how she got pregnant.
Having said that though, I told myself at the time that I felt like I really liked her, but I knew deep down that it was Bullshit. I had to think of guys I thought were attractive to do anything when she and I were together. I was also hoping that each time we were with each other that that would make me straight. I didn't totally hate being gay deep down, but I didn't feel like I could have gone through all the bigotry that society throws at people like us.
Finally around the time shortly before Barbara gave birth to you I started to accept myself as gay. I found a couple of older guys who were a couple, and I met them when I found the LGBT community center here in Sangger and when I met them they began talking to me. I told them my story, and they basically took me under their wing. That helped me with beginning to feel like I would be alright as I am. I did go to live with our Aunt Beth for a while when I turned 18. That helped me with having a place to stay which gave me the time to find a job. I saved up some money to find a place of my own by the time I was 21, and I met the couple I told you about several months after moving in with Aunt Beth.
I told Barbra about who I really was just days before you were born, and she of course called me every anti-LGBT name known to man, and ones of her own creation. That's why I think she really separated you and I, out of revenge for me not being honest with her.
I'm just truly sorry for you having to pay the price for what she and I did. I'm really sorry Nohea. I'm really sorry that my not being honest about how I was and not accepting it got you stuck in the horrible situation with Barbra you've been in all this time."
My dad and I hugged as he said that last part, and though any other kid probably would have screamed indignantly at him about how could he do that to them because of what he couldn't face about himself. I Couldn't find that anger or rage within myself towards him. I wished of course that it hadn't happened, but I knew he was in a situation he didn't ask for. Barbra however actively made choices with no regard for how it would affect me. That was how and why I had more if not all the anger and rage towards her. There's also the fact that my dad had been trying to take responsibility for me the whole time, and I just couldn't be angry with him.
I told him all this, and he was relieved.
"I'm really glad you're here in my life now though," I said. "I'm truly honored to call you my dad, and I always will be."
"I'm really glad to hear you say that," he answered. "I'm truly glad to have you as my son, and I always will be. I'm proud of the boy that you are, and of the young man you're slowly becoming. I really mean that."
"Thanks," I said.
"You're welcome," he replied.
"I wanted to tell you a little more about my situation," I said.
I told him exactly how I felt about Pietro, and about the fact that I thought I might be gay. He didn't seem surprised, and he immediately held me again.
"I could tell that you're in love with Pietro," he said. "I'm just sorry that you and him can't be together now though."
"Thanks," I said as he held me. "Having you here with me helps a little. I at least feel like I can get through things a little easier."
"I'll always be here for you whenever you need me," my dad responded.
We went in after a few minutes, and I got showered and into a t-shirt and basketball shorts. I hung out with Triston in his room once dressed. He was showing me some of the animal sculptures he made, and I really liked them. He definitely did a really good job.
We sat there after he sat back down, and watched a couple of music videos on YouTube. I showed him a couple of videos by Nightwish and he really enjoyed them. It was really nice being there with him at that moment.
Our dad had gone to get showered, and now I could hear him in the living room. He was watching something, and I guessed he was giving me time alone to spend with Triston.
It was almost 11:00 P.M., and Triston let me know he was getting tired. I leaned over once he was in bed. I kissed him on the cheek and we hugged for a moment.
"I had a lot of fun hanging out with you and dad tonight," I said. "I especially enjoyed you and I spending time together a few minutes ago."
Triston agreed, and I stood up turning off the bedside lamp.
"Good night Triston, I love you," I said.
"I love you too Nohea," he replied.
My dad said good night to him next, and I went into my own room where our dad and I said good night. I was really tired, and once in bed I fell asleep instantly.
Author's Notes
You all got to see what's happening with Nohea as far as it's concerned with him going back to the school for the blind. I can imagine you're all relieved that he won't be going back there ever again. I hope all of you liked how I handled that.
Also, I hope all of you liked the conversation Nohea and David had towards the end of the chapter. I'm sure you were waiting to see how that would play out. I figured I'd take care of that part of the story in this chapter.
Having said all that, I hope all of you are doing well. Have a good evening, and I'll see you all in Chapter Ten.