The Wounds Within My Heart By James
Disclaimer
If you're not of the legal age to read this story, or if you're offended by this type of material then leave now. This story may at times contain sex and romantic moments between consenting teenaged males. It also may contain scenes of Hate Speech towards people of different races, sexual orientations, disability groups and others. If you can't handle reading about that, then leave.
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Finally, if you like this story and haven't done this already. Ask my E-mail address jamesheady1985@gmail.com if you can use its coffee maker to make coffee. When it agrees, use it, then return it having used toilet water to clean out the inner workings.
Thanks again to K. for editing this story. Your editing is really helpful, and has really made this story be the best. Thank you.
Chapter Seven
Nohea
That Thursday flew by, and I was getting started on homework. I hadn't heard anything from my Mom or Ray at that point. Sitting in my room finishing up the last answer on my final homework assignment, I wondered if I would. I hadn't had a chance to spend any time with Mrs. Jones that day other than in Math Class. I wished I could have, as I wanted to let her know about what happened between my Mom and I the evening before. Mrs. Jones was almost like a second mom to me, or at least like the mother that I never had.
With my homework finished for the evening, I got through dinner then went over to visit Pietro.
Pietro and I sat out on the bench under the trees listening to music for most of that evening's visit. We sat in silence for a while with the exception of when we said hi to each other. I wasn't sure if Pietro could sense if I had stuff on my mind, and I tried making conversation, but could feel how forced it was. After a few minutes went by Pietro gently turned my face towards his. We had been sitting there for almost an hour into the visit when he did this.
"What?" I asked smiling, but even that felt forced.
He continued looking at me, and drew a frown on the back of my right hand. He then drew a question mark.
I started to say that I was fine, but I stopped. I waited for a moment, then spoke.
I told him what happened between my Mom and I, but not about the contents of the journal that lead to the fight in the first place. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable saying what was in the journal, and he gave a sound indicating that he understood.
"So I don't know what I'm coming home to this weekend," I said as Pietro took me in his arms.
I just rested there, and my fears and anxiety went away for the moment. I knew I'd miss this when he moved away, and I still couldn't believe that it was going to be happening.
"I'm really going to miss you when you move," I said looking up at him. "You've been the best friend I've ever had, and I really have gotten through the beginning of this year much easier than last year because of you," I said. "Thank you so much for being my friend."
Pietro hugged me to him tighter, and I was struggling to hold back my tears. I sat there for a little while longer, then Pietro let me go. He stood up, and I wondered about what he was doing.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He turned to me once he sat back down, and he had something in his right hand. He took my right hand, and turned it palm-up. He placed something cool in it, and I began feeling the object. It felt like a smooth stone.
"It feels like a stone or a rock," I said. "It feels really smooth. Did you find it today?"
One tap.
"Did your teacher help you find it?" I asked.
One tap.
Sometimes the vocational class would go outside and do a couple of nature hikes if the weather was nice. Apparently they did one earlier that day. I guessed that Pietro found the rock while they were out. He gave me one tap.
"This rock must have something to do with us?" I said guessing.
One tap.
"You got it right," I said. "I think of you as having been like my rock. I really feel like I can rely on you when we're together."
Pietro put a hand on my shoulder rubbing gently as if to say he felt the same way.
"Is this for me to keep?" I asked.
One tap.
"Is it for me to remember you by?" I asked feeling a deeper and more sudden intense emotional pain stab into me.
One tap.
"Thanks," I said hugging him hard.
After we separated, I looked into his eyes.
"I looked up your name a few days ago," I said.
I had looked it up that Monday on my school-issued laptop when I had a free moment. Pietro's name meant rock. That's what he truly was to me. I told him all this feeling an even stronger urge to cry.
Pietro smiled, then reached out stroking my hair gently.
"Do you know what the name Nohea means?" I asked.
Two taps.
"I looked it up as well," I said. "It means beautiful or handsome."
Pietro smiled, then leaned his face towards mine. He gently caressed my cheek the way a lover might have. He then took me in his arms and continued to stare deeply into my eyes.
"I'm guessing that I live up to my name," I said.
One tap.
"Thanks, that's really sweet. "You're really handsome, and I've always thought so."
He smiled again, then after another 20 minutes of sitting there talking it was time to head back.
Once back at my dorm after dropping Pietro off at his, I got a message from Doug Fields. I asked him what it was about. He picked up the phone, and he handed it to me.
"It's from your mom," he said. "She'll tell you about what's going on."
I waited for her to pick up, and she did. Her voice was cold, and aside from hate, I could hear no love in that voice at all.
"I wanted to let you know that your disgrace of a father will be picking you up on Saturday," she said. "Doug Field said that you'll be staying in the dorm as there are kids there for the sporting events that will be happening. So there will be a dorm supervisor so don't even try arguing with me."
"I don't even know my father!" I said. "Of what you have told me about him, you haven't made him sound like he's someone I'd want to know."
"In truth Nohea, he's a soft-dick little Faggot who couldn't get it up even if he had a whole truck-load of Viagra on board. It was only by thinking of a guy he used to know that allowed him to fuck me which brought your freak ass into the world."
Something within me broke, and I literally saw red.
"God damn you to the deepest pits of Hell you fucking Bitch!" I screamed into the phone. "I'm not a fucking freak! If anyone is the freak it's you! You've said shitty things to me about my blindness, and hardly got the resources I needed to accommodate my visual impairments! You sent me to this fucking school where I've been mentally abused, as well as verbally abused! Of course all that was in the name of preparing me for the real world! All I ever wanted was for you and I to be a family, but you didn't ever fucking want that! You were only concerned with making me into what you thought I should be! Your piece of shit husband was more concerned with taking out his frustrations on me! No wonder it always felt like you guys hated me, it was because you did! Now you're sending me to live with my father who for all I know could be a dangerous criminal, or even just like you!"
"You finished?" she asked.
"No, I'm not fucking finished!" I screamed even louder. "You also brought lots of shit men back to the house when you'd be drunk. I might have been a little kid for most of those years you'd do that, but I still knew what was going on. I'm surprised Ray stuck around. Well, it's not for me to figure out. All I know is that you're lucky that none of those men ever tried to do anything to me! And don't tell me that they wouldn't have tried anything! How the hell would you have known! You were so fucking drunk during all that that you probably weren't even aware of who most of them were you were flat on your back for!"
"Why you little," I shouted over her!
"You'd always buy something new shortly after these men had been with you right?" I went on. "Money from Ray's additional paycheck my ass! You made yourself the biggest slut for these men, got money from them then bought more sparkly trash to throw around the house! Yeah, you've been a total fucking prize for a mother! Alright, so I'll go live with my father whoever the fuck he is! I guess we'll see how that turns out!"
"Hopefully one day you'll get some help for this rather pathetic anger problem you have," she said, then there was a click.
I wasn't surprised that the Bitch had hung up on me. I put the phone back on the charger, then returned to my room to get to bed for the night.
I was getting ready to climb into bed, then there was a knock on my door.
It's Doug Fields," Fields announced. "You have another call."
"Oh fuck, not again," I thought in my head.
"I'll be right there," I said.
I picked up the phone, and said hello.
"It's Barbra again," my Mom announced. "Your father's name is David, David Swanson. That will be who comes to pick you up on Saturday. I gave Doug Fields his number. Enjoy the rest of your fucked up life."
She hung up before I could say anything. I put the phone on its charger once more, then went back to my room. Doug Fields came to the doorway and told me he'd give me David Swanson's number. He did so, and I wrote it down.
"Have you guys even checked this guy out to make sure he is who he says he is?" I asked.
"The school administration checked him out when your Mom called them earlier this afternoon," Fields replied. "It all checks out."
He left, and I went to bed falling asleep quickly.
0000
David Swanson arrived home that Thursday night around the time Nohea was falling asleep in his bed at the school for the blind. He had gotten off the phone with Barbra shortly after she called to let him know that she told Nohea who he was. She also texted him recent pictures of Nohea. David texted her back letting her know that he received the pictures. She responded that she hoped that they would be happy together.
Once the door was closed and locked behind him, David went in where his sister Beth sat. She sat in the living room with the floor lamp by the couch on and a book in her lap. The couch she sat on was one that faced the doorway leading into the kitchen. She looked up at David, then stood up going over to him and hugging him.
"So everything is set?" she asked.
"Yeah, that's one way to put it," David replied. "I'm really glad that Nohea is coming to live with me, but I don't like any of the circumstances surrounding any of this. Once I meet Nohea, and I get his stuff here you can believe that I'll be getting to the bottom of all of what happened."
"What did Barbra tell you?" Beth asked.
"She made sure to impress upon me that Nohea is into guys," David said. "She of course said it with the implication that he's being irresponsible with guys he's sleeping with. Not only that, but she also made it a point to tell me that he supposedly has sex with every guy at his school. Somehow I don't believe any of this. You know me, as well as my views on kids and sex. If they're doing it with the appropriate protection, and no all things about consent then I don't think they need to have adults nosing into their business. Now if he is as sexually active to the high degree she's accused him of then we'll deal with it. Still though, I think she's trying to paint him in the worst light possible. It's probably to cover up or to distract from the disgusting shit that she and Ray have clearly done to him. She says that he's always asking for tools related to his blindness, and that they haven't given them to him. Some Bullshit about him needing to rely on his own skills more. No need to spend a lot of time reading between the lines on that one. Clearly they're neglecting him, and probably doing worse."
"It's truly horrible," Beth said.
"I agree," David replied. "How was Triston this evening while I was out?"
"He was good," Beth answered. "He spent time listening to music, and walked around outside for a bit. Things went calmly at school today so that definitely helped."
"Good," David said. "I'm glad he had a good day, and glad he's been having a good evening. Thanks for staying with him. I always appreciate you helping out."
"You're welcome," she responded. "I'm always happy to help out, as you know. I'll also be here to help out once Nohea gets here. You said that Barbra sent pictures of what he looks like now."
"Yeah, she did," David answered.
He pulled out his phone, opened the messages app and opened the folder in which the pictures were stored. Handing the phone over, Beth took it and looked through the two pictures on the phone's screen.
"With this first picture, he looks like he could go right into a business meeting and start directing everyone," she said smiling. "Oh, and did you get a look at this second one?"
"Not yet," David said. "I was getting ready to once I could get everything situated."
"In this second one, he's wearing a t-shirt that has the logo of a Metal group. I think it's of the Metal group Amon Amarth. With this second picture, he looks like he'd be at home at a metal concert. It also looks like he could use a haircut in the coming weeks."
David smiled, then looked at the two pictures this time in more detail.
"He looks so different in these two pictures," he said. "Obviously I have the picture of him when he was first born, and that's nice. I'm glad to see him as he is now though. He looks like he's turned out to be a really handsome boy."
"I agree," Beth replied.
David put down the phone, and after unpacking his work bag he went in his room and briefly showered. He returned to the living room in a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt. After he made sure the house was locked up once again, he went into Triston's room where like Beth said a few minutes before the boy was asleep. Entering the boy's room, David quietly walked up to Triston's bed, and leaning down he gently kissed his cheek.
Triston was lying on his stomach with his head on the pillow turned to the side. David then gently sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked his son's hair for a few minutes. Triston stayed asleep through all this, and David loved this time where he could just sit with his boy and connect with him like this.
Finally, David stood slowly, then bent down. He kissed Triston on the cheek once more then whispered that he loved him. He made sure the covers were still up over his son, then he left the room gently closing the door behind him.
Returning to the living room, he sat down and flipped on the TV.
"Is there anything else you need before I go?" Beth asked.
"No, I'm good for now," David said standing up to hug her.
They shared a hug, then after she got her bag on her shoulder she left leaving David and Triston alone with each other once again.
David sat there feeling truly grateful for Beth and her support. David had been disowned by their dad's side of the family. He had little contact with his and Beth's mom's side of the family, as most of them were either dealing with unhealthy relationship issues, or suffering from various addictions. David's dad's side of the family was dangerously Anti-LGBT. David had come out to them when he was 14, and they made him go live with a foster family who he stayed with until he was 18.
David had met Barbra at a house party back when they were both 17. They got together for sex a couple of times after that, and he had told her a few weeks into them knowing each other that he was trying to not like guys. He thought he had succeeded in becoming straight. He was full of self-hatred at that point in his life, and it was the second time him and Barbra had sex that she found out she was pregnant with Nohea. He had promised that he would be there for her and Nohea, and it seemed that they were both on the same page for the next nine months. Unfortunately when Nohea was born Barbra's family stepped in hours after the birth and between them and her they decided that David would have no part in Nohea's life at all.
Of course they managed to get child support out of David, though he said he would give it to them without any problems. All this occurred before David turned 18.
Once he was 18, he went to live with his sister Beth who was 25 at the time. She had tried to help him several times over the years until he aged out of foster care, but their father would always force her to stay away.
Their father was a deeply violent and abusive man. He had no problem beating David and Beth, and he always forced Beth away from David by telling her that he would kill David if she ever tried to make contact with him.
When David came to her for help once out of foster care, she took him in as mentioned before. She then made a call to her and David's father telling him that she had a gun and she knew how to use it. This was true, and she even read off the serial number printed on the handle of the weapon. Contact with their father ceased immediately that day.
When David told Beth about Nohea when he first came to live with her, and how he wasn't able to see him Beth listened silently. He also told her about how he was truly trying not to be gay at that time he was with Barbra. Beth knew about why their father had kicked him out, and now she knew more about just how badly all that had messed up David's mental state for that period of years. She had been supportive to David and hadn't judged him regarding the poor self-image he had before coming to live with her. She was also impressed with how willing David was to change his life, and to hopefully reestablish contact with Nohea someday. Hopefully very soon.
All this to say that David and Beth knew how to survive, as well as how to make a life for themselves. David was glad that Beth was in his life, and he knew that she would do really well with giving David, Triston and Nohea the support they needed as things around the Swanson household changed in the coming days.
0000
Nohea
That Friday afternoon, I told Mrs. Jones all that had been happening over the last couple of days. To say that she was angry would have been an under-statement. She stayed silent though while I told her everything.
"And the administration are sure that your father this David Swanson is who he says he is?" she asked.
"Doug Fields said that they did," I answered. "He said that last night, then I checked with the principal earlier today. He confirmed what Mr. Fields said."
"I really do hope that everything works out for you Nohea," she said as we hugged. "You didn't deserve to go through any of what you've been put through, and I hope that David will be a good father to you. I mean, the father you should have had all this time."
"Thanks," I said. "I hope he'll be a good father to me as well."
I then gathered up my things then returned to the dorm. I went to my room, and started on that day's homework. I got through it since it wasn't too intense, then I lay down on my bed wishing that Pietro was there. I soon drifted off to sleep, and was glad for the rest.
Author's Notes
So things are changing for Nohea drastically. I don't know if you guys had figured out early on about David being Nohea's father. Now you know, and I hope you all enjoy when Nohea and David meet for the first time. That will be happening soon.
In the next chapter, Nohea and Pietro have their last visit. It'll definitely be intense and emotional for the both of them. I hope you guys can handle that. All that being said, I hope you guys are having a good evening, and I'll see all of you in Chapter Eight.