The Wounds Within My Heart By James
Disclaimer
If you're not of the legal age to read this story, or if you're offended by this type of material then leave now. This story may at times contain sex and romantic moments between consenting teenaged males. It also may contain scenes of Hate Speech towards people of different races, sexual orientations, disability groups and others. If you can't handle reading about that, then leave.
Please remember to donate to Nifty, as it's your donations that keep these stories and other information on the site free to the public.
Finally, if you like this story and haven't done this already, offer my E-mail address jamesheady1985@gmail.com a plate of hot wings. When it accepts, give it a serving of wings that has hot sauce so hot that they might need medical attention after eating even just one bight.
Thanks to my editor K. for a really well-done editing job on this chapter as well as on this story. You really help this story be amazing. Thank you.
The Wounds Within My Heart
Book Two
Pietro
Part One
New Family
Chapter One
Pietro Roberts
The falling leaves floated to the ground while swirling in the cold wind. It was now the end of October, soon to be November. As I stood there staring out the window, I touched the cross hanging around my neck. It brought back the memories stronger than I would have thought possible.
I remembered the love of my life, and how kind he was. Nohea had truly been the friend I had been hoping and wishing for. I had been in and out of three different foster homes. Though Brandon Carson had taken me in about five years ago, I had found it hard to make friends. Most kids wouldn't play with me, and others liked to make fun of me. That was either because of how I walked, or the fact that I couldn't speak. They'd mimic my vocal sounds, and would tell me to speak anyway. Some of them would go on to say that they knew I was faking it. That hurt even more.
I'm sure you can imagine that when I finally met Nohea on that hot sunny day at the start of the first week of school, I was excited when he made time for me. When I walked on to the grounds of the school for the blind, I was afraid, and I also felt so deeply alone. Once in my room, and with Brandon headed back home, I felt like I had no one.
There was also the fact that I was gay, and I realized that when I was 12. I didn't have anyone to talk to about this. When out to lunch one day, Brandon saw me looking interested in the direction of a couple of boys walking by. He harshly told me to stop staring. I then heard him mutter the word Faggot under his breath. That hurt me as I hadn't ever heard him say that towards anyone or about anyone in the years I had known him. Needless to say, I made sure never to look in the direction of other boys, at least not while he was around.
Getting back to Nohea though, I had gone out that Monday evening to sit outside. I figured I'd be alone. When I turned to face where the benches were, that's when I saw the boy who would capture my heart, and then have it forever. I could see his face a little, but it was because he had it down slightly. When he lifted it for a moment to brush the hair from his eyes, I saw how lonely he looked.
He had kind eyes, but they looked so sad. I wanted to somehow show him that he wasn't alone, and that I would be his friend if he wanted. That's when I began walking towards him, and when I met him for the first time.
From that moment we first met, I knew that I had a true friend. I could get through the loneliness of that place, and I had found true happiness! Nohea was good at making me laugh, as well as listening to what I had to say with how he had helped me to communicate. That was the thing that truly meant the most to me, that he had actually cared enough to help me find a way to communicate and speak a little. The most that Brandon would do would tell me to point to a couple of foods he would hold up, and sometimes he didn't even do that.
Though I wasn't able to communicate it to Nohea at the time, I had been sent to the school for the blind because the public school in the town I lived in wouldn't accommodate my disabilities. They didn't take the time to see why I couldn't read or write. The school just assumed that it was because I couldn't properly see the print on the chalk board or in the textbooks. I also had a little near-sightedness, and that alone supposedly made me eligible to go to the school for the blind. That had been set up back in May of this year. It was set up quickly, and before I knew it, I was there.
As I thought back over the time I spent with Nohea, I knew early-on that I was in love with him. I really knew it when I saw him for that first time. I knew that he was the one for me. When I held him in my arms for that first time that evening we met, I knew that he would be my only love. Though unable to communicate it, especially to most people around me, I was truly heart-broken when Brandon told me in the middle of September that I'd be moving away. He told me that the move would require me to go to a different school, and I immediately made the connection that how Nohea wouldn't be with me any longer. I hid my sadness as best as I could until Brandon left my room. Once he closed the door after leaving the room, I laid down on the bed, crying at the thought that soon I'd be away from Nohea.
That had happened the weekend leading up to when Mr. Marshall had told Nohea. I knew that Nohea was sad, and though he had never said it to me, I knew exactly how he felt about me. More than that, I knew that he liked boys. I also got a sense, without him saying much about it, that he wasn't being treated very well by the people where he lived. I knew that he had a lot of mental and emotional shit he carried, and I always felt really sad for him about that. I always wished during the whole time we were together, that I could communicate to him, that I knew everything, and that I was as in love with him as he was with me. As I would think about it though, I figured that, even if I had confronted him about his being gay as well as being in love with me, that it might make him go deeper in the closet. I just wanted to do something to ease his pain, and to make him happy. I wanted to make everything alright for him, and even be able to take him to a place where there was only happiness, where there was no hurt or sadness for him.
One probably wonders how I could have felt so much for him, when I, for all intents and purposes, had no family myself. All I can say is, that you sometimes can't really feel sad nor miss what you've never really had. You'd be surprised how well a person can do with learning to go without for a long time. Nohea did have a family though, and I sensed that he wanted so much more from them, more than what he was getting. I just wished I could have helped him more with that.
When he and I said goodbye for the last time that Friday afternoon, I could hear Nohea fighting desperately to hold back tears. I could see tears standing in his eyes, just barely held in. I didn't have tears, at least not yet anyway. I felt that deep sense of loss and that deep emptiness though. As I stood there holding Nohea, and him embracing me, I wondered how I'd deal with him no longer being around. I wouldn't see his sweet smile, nor be able to look into his deep-blue eyes where I saw so much love and kindness. I wouldn't ever feel his beautiful body in my arms as I held him. wishing and hoping that my embrace made him feel so loved and protected.
It hurt without him. It truly hurt a lot. I rode home with Brandon before going the next day to meet my adoptive family. I looked out the window for the most part. I didn't want Brandon seeing my sadness. He didn't pick up on it, which was good. The last thing I needed was him making some smart-ass remark.
What hurt even more was when I looked back after being a few feet away, and seeing Nohea with his head in his arms and his whole body shaking. I knew deep down that he was crying, and crying hard. I had to fight hard not to turn around and run to him, to hold him and never let him go! At that moment, I screamed in my head that none of this was right and that it wasn't fair! I was worried that I might even scream out loud, and never be able to stop.
In my mind's eye, I could vividly see me falling to the ground, screaming and screaming. No one would be able to know why though, and with the people around me being Ableist as hell, they would just assume that I was having some kind of break-down. They'd say shit about how I was probably falling apart psychologically because of not being able to speak. They'd throw me in some mental hospital probably for the rest of my life. Somehow, I pushed all those images and thoughts out of my mind, and returned back to the school to go to my new life, whatever the hell that was going to be.
I went with my new family the next day on Saturday. They came to Brandon's house to get me. I spent the night before packing. Once they arrived the next day, I was rather surprised to see that it was a black family who adopted me. From what Brandon had told me, they had been looking for a second child to adopt. They had a biological daughter, then a couple of years ago the mother had something happen so that she was having problems conceiving.
After running tests, they found a couple of small masses on her ovaries. Fortunately, they were benign. Sadly though, the surgery to remove them damaged her ovaries so that she wasn't able to have children ever again. At least not biologically. That's when she and her husband decided to adopt. They had put out the word, and eventually they were put in contact with Brandon.
He told them about me, and after they saw a picture of me, and after telling them about my disabilities, they agreed. They were sure that they could provide me with a really stable and loving home. I hoped that was true, and that they could fill that hole in my life.
Amy and Bryan Roberts were the man and woman with whom I'd be living now. Their daughter's name was Lexy and she was 20. She was going to college to become a nurse, but was continuing to live at home. I met her once they got me to the house, and she immediately took a liking to me. Amy and Bryan were really nice as well, and I was starting to feel comfortable around them. As the days passed, I started to feel safe around them, and like I could trust them.
Bryan and Amy were both doctors at the hospital close to our house. We were living in a small town in the state of Iowa, though they made it clear that if given the chance, we would be relocating hopefully very soon. They mentioned possibly relocating to a city called Sangger. I hadn't ever heard of it, but they said that it was a good city. It would be in another state, so it would be a long drive. They went on to say that we would deal with all that when it came time, if they found a place, as well as jobs.
One other thing that really made me appreciate the Roberts even more, was that they immediately began helping me with communication. They knew a couple of people who agreed to come by the house a few days after I had moved in. The two people, whose names were Michael and Damion, began helping me with learning how to read. They found that I could read and recognize letters. They slowly worked with me on knowing what the letters looked like, and which ones were which. We then moved on to me learning how to write the letters first by handwriting, then by typing. By the time we were in the middle of October, I was doing really well with communicating. My family was really proud of me, and I was glad to see how happy they were!
Eventually I told them about Pietro, and how much he meant to me. I hadn't told them that I was gay, but I was starting to realize that they were picking up on how I felt. I figured I'd tell them about my being gay at some point.
While I was settling into my new home and family, they talked to me about attending school. They said that I could continue schooling at home for a little while. I said that I was fine with that. I felt truly safe at home, and was in no hurry to go back to school, and have to deal with more bullies. My sister helped me when she had time, and she did a really good job assisting me with the various school work assignments. She was also turning out to be a really good friend, and I enjoyed her company just as much as she was enjoying mine.
Finally in the third week of October, our dad arrived home, and he asked if we could all sit down in the kitchen. This was where we had most of our family meetings. He sat down, and once we were all situated, he began talking.
"I was at work today, and I got a call," he began. "The call was in regards to a house in the city of Sangger. It went on the market about a week ago. It's a really nice house, and is located in a huge wooded area. It's well within our price range. I also got an offer for a job at Sangger University Hospital right after I finished the call. I couldn't believe it!"
I saw my mom and sister's faces light up, and we all jumped up hugging each other and truly joyful at his news! It was going to be happening! We were going to be moving, and to a really nice place!
"I'm really glad to hear that," Lexy said once we sat down at the table again. "I had done some checking around, and I'll be able to transfer to Sangger University without any problems. It helps of course that all my grades are good! As you guys know, I've wanted to leave this area for a long time! This truly is the best news I could have gotten in a while!"
"It really is amazing!" our mom added.
The small town in which we lived was quiet, but it was also rife with various types of bigotry. Most of the people there disliked LGBT people, Disabled people, black people and many more. I got strange looks when walking through the store with my mom and dad. People smirked as I walked by with my limp, and I had to always resist the urge to flip them off or tell them to go to hell. Lexy was treated badly as well. Most people would be nice to her, but many would give her back-handed complements. They would say things like how they were glad that she was well behaved unlike some of the people of her racial group. They sounded as if they were talking about a small child especially with that crap about her being "well-behaved."
There were also a couple of times when guys would look at her if she and I were out in the town doing stuff. These were mostly white guys. One time, when a white guy yelled from his driver's car window that he'd like a pound of that succulent dark meat to go, I moved my hand to flip him off, but she mouthed no. I quickened my pace as best as I could, and I could see her trying not to run. I also saw that she was scared but trying to hide it.
In short, there was really nothing for any of us in that town. I really hoped that once we moved to Sangger, that things would turn around for all of us. Most of all, I hoped that I would be able to make some friends. We had been talking about me possibly going to public school once we got settled in, and our mom said that she had been looking into the schools there. The schools, from what she was reading, had some really good policies when it came to dealing with school bullying. They also had some classes that taught really in-depth about various social justice issues. I was glad to hear about that, and so my mind was becoming a little more opened to the idea.
After having recalled all these memories, I stepped away from the window and turned around to face the bedroom I stayed in for the last few weeks. Things had been finalized on the house we were looking at, and decided to buy. Mom and dad got hired at the jobs they were wanting, and so, close to the end of that third week in October, we were getting set to move. Unfortunately though, something happened that up-coming weekend that threatened to destroy everything.
Author's Notes
So now you're getting to hear from Pietro for a while. You'll be seeing Nohea again eventually. For now though, you're all going to get to see a lot of things from Pietro's point of view. You'll especially get to see what happened to him on that weekend which closes the third week of October. I'm sure you're going to be really surprised at how it fits in with something from Book One of the story. I hope you guys like what I did with it.
All that being said, I hope you're all having a good evening. I'll see all of you in Chapter Two.