Well folks we're passing the half way point in this tale. Responses have slowed down but I still plan to keep going. I just hope that I'm on the right track so far. In this chapter the story builds up on he conflict Josh feels in loving two men. Which of the two Josh ends up with has not yet been decided but I am open to ideas. Thanks.
Again, this is a story about gay relationships so 1. if you are breaking the law, underage, or just hate gay stuff don't read any further. The world wide web is a big place so you can find something else. 2. As this story came from my imagination, everything is a big lie. The story is not based on any real person place thing, or another person's idea. So any similarities are pure chance. 3. Since this story is of my own creation, I have the copyright to it. No other postings, except at nifty, are allowed. Nor is the selling of the story to others permitted. Enjoy!
JMH (just might happen)
trandar2002@yahoo.com
Robert was waiting in the car. He face flushed with anger and embarrassment. How could Glenn and Kyle bring an old flame to the same gym he went to? Why did he feel this sudden surge of anger in knowing that Josh had loved another man before him? Why did he of all people feel violated? He knew why. The answer had been in the tone of voice Andrew had used when he found out that Josh was with him. Andrew knew that Robert was a player not to be trusted in a relationship. Robert almost wished that Josh would "cheat " on him with this Andrew. It would get rid of the guilt he was feeling over going to the baths last night but he knew such ideas were a mistake. If this Andrew really loved Josh and Josh felt the same, his giving permission to Josh to pursue such love might cost Robert Josh himself. He could see that Josh was one of those who preferred romantic monogamy over a pragmatic open relationship. Robert just needed to accept that the love of one person was enough for him. The problem was, that even with Josh, he still felt alone.
The drive to lunch was quiet. Neither Josh nor Robert had the courage to say anything about what had happened back at the gym. It was only when both men were eating away at their Caesar chicken salads that Josh finally spoke.
"I guess I should have told you about Andrew."
"Its none of my business. Who you've slept with in the past is no concern of mine."
"Now who's being dishonest?" Josh returned.
"All right I admit it. I liked the idea that I was the first and only man to "know" you."
"And?"
"And I hate that so far you've been loyal to me but I've not been loyal to you."
"You mean last night?"
"Yes..." Robert said, as he was about to explain what he did.
"Robert, don't tell me. I know your reputation. I know how you can be but please recognize that even while I know all these things I still want to be with you."
"What about Andrew?"
"Would you be hurt if I told you that I still love him?"
"I would be but I think I understand. You are a loving person."
"Sort of Robert. Andrew was my first. He was the one who first got me to realize what it was I wanted. I just wasn't ready for the responsibility of it all. You got me to see that."
Just as Josh said that, the waiter brought them a fresh round of drinks. "On the house." The cute red head named Patrick smiled at Robert.
Josh looked down at Robert's drink and saw that a small note had been written there. Robert also was reading it and was now blushing.
"Go ahead Robert. You have my permission to have some fun."
"No Josh I don't think I'll do that." Robert said nervously as he adjusted his pants.
"Robert... do you want to fuck him?"
"Yes."
"If I wasn't here right now would you still not go and meet him in the bathroom?"
"..."
"Go Robert. I'm not ready to be fucked yet by you or anyone and I know you have your needs."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes Robert."
"Thanks hon... and if you want to do it with Andrew that's fine with me. I now understand that you still love him but that it doesn't take away your love of me."
"All right Rob." Josh said as the giddy Robert made his way to the bathroom. "Just be careful what you wish for is all." Josh sighed still conflicted with how he felt.
When Robert had disappeared, Josh made his way to a public phone and dialed Kyle's cell phone number.
"Kyle Brewster..."
"Hi Kyle its Josh."
"Hey Josh. I was wondering when you were going to call."
"Yeah, is Andrew still with you."
"Nope, he left pretty soon after you did. He was really upset."
"I know it's my fault." Josh apologized.
"No it was ours. We should of guess that Robert would bring you to the gym over the Thanksgiving holiday."
"No it was my fault I hurt him real badly."
"I know Josh..." Kyle said not knowing how much he should admit to knowing.
"How is he doing?"
"Well Glenn and me only ran into him last night but from what we learned he's having a hard time of things."
"How so."
"Well... he can't find a good man for himself. Don't worry most gay men go through this period where every possibility turns into a nightmare."
"Tell me about it." Josh sighed.
"Why, is there something wrong with Robert?" Kyle said in an attempt to hold off his laughter.
"No, it's me. It was not until Robert entered my life that I began to see that accepting myself as gay was a real possibility."
"And?"
"And I still love Andrew."
"Oh... I see."
"Robert says it would be ok for me to sleep with him but that's because Robert still doesn't see the difference from when I make love and he does."
"Well everyone knows that. Tell me what you think."
"When I want to make love to someone its because I LOVE the person. When Robert does it's because he wants to please and gain pleasure from another person. Ya'll are my friends cause I enjoy being around you. Robert is you're friend because deep inside he loves you. It is through friendship not sex that Robert shows his love. Me having sex with Andrew is just having fun for Robert but for me it would because I love Andrew. I don't mind Robert sleeping with other men cause I know it doesn't mean anything. I have problems with myself doing o because I know that it does."
"I agree. For some people sex is just for pleasure for others it means more. You're right in thinking that Robert views sex this way but I also think that Robert knows that sex mean a lot more then just sex."
"Then why did he give me permission?"
"Because he doesn't think he deserves your love I would guess. He's giving you an out, a chance to find real love."
"But I love Robert.
"And you also love Andrew. Josh, you need to forget that you're a 27-year-old married lawyer and imagine that you're in high school again. You were not looking for the person you were planning to marry but trying to figure out who you really were."
"I didn't date in high school." Josh said.
"Stop being difficult! The point is that you can't yet know what you really want you've not experienced enough yet."
"So what do you think I should do, sleep with Andrew?"
"No, not unless you want to. What I think you should do is stop staying away from him. Both of you are in the same boat. Both of you are going thought similar experiences right now. You should not be afraid of leaning on each other for support. But most importantly I think both of you miss each other."
"You're right. I do."
So do you think you can come over for Sunday brunch?"
"Will Andrew be there?"
"Well duh!" Kyle laughed
"I know, ...stupid question. I'll come."
"All right but just be sure to come alone."
"No Robert?"
"No. I think Andrew and you need so time without Robert hovering over."
"All right."
"Don' worry Josh, everything will turn out for the best regardless of who you end up with."
Josh hung up the phone and made it back to the table about two minutes before Robert did. As soon as Robert came back he pulled Josh into a kiss that tasted of cum.
"Ready to go?" Robert asked.
"Yeah sure." Josh agreed.
They drove back to the apartment but as Robert got out of the car, Josh went up to him and took the driver keys from him.
"Rob I need to go back to my house to pick up a few things."
"Want me to come with?" Robert asked.
"No, I think I can handle it. All I need to do is pick up some Sunday cloths and a few business suites to wear next week. That and some fresh boxers, the ones I have now are starting to reek."
"Well hold off on getting the underwear and relax wear. I want to take you shopping."
"Have something in mind?" Josh said with a sly grin.
"Well let's just say I'm UP to something." Robert laughed with raised eyebrows.
"You're wicked."
"Hey someone has to teach you how to have a good time."
"All right, I'll just bring my work cloths just promise me you won't be going to buy a giant dildo or something kinky."
"No I promise that it will only be sexy."
"Ok, love you Rob." Josh said as he gave Robert a quick peck on the cheek.
"Love you too Josh." Robert smiled. He really liked Josh's pet name for him. It was almost like a sign of trust and familiarly and it tickled him inside. Just so long as Glenn and Kyle didn't start calling him "Rob" everything would be just fine.
It was a good 45-minute drive before Josh arrived back at his house on the other side of the river. He went up stairs to the attic and brought down the garment bag in which he crammed in three suits. He also packed half a dozen ties, mostly red, two pairs of shoes one brown the other black leather, two belts of the same black color but with different buckles and he stuffed four pairs of dress socks into his shoes. He had just started a shower so he could wash off the sweat from his dirty gym cloths when the doorbell rang. He had to rush to turn off the water, getting wet in the process. As he ran, his shorts and tank top clung to his body presenting a alluring image to the man waiting at his door...Andrew.
"Andrew?' Josh gasped as he saw his old friend at his door for the first time in over a half a year.
"Josh..." Andrew replied as he stared and Josh's muscled chest as it clung to his shirt.
"I didn't know you were coming."
"Well I was going to just leave a letter here ...then I saw your car."
"Come on in." Josh said, stepping out of the way.
Andrew nodded his head and slipped past him crotch to crotch, Sharing how he felt right now in see Josh wet with Josh's dick.
Andrew was also still dressed for the gym. He was in a gray tank top that showed off his broad hairy blond chest and a pair of too short black running shorts that only barely covered his groin. Josh instinctively licked his lips in seeing his friend exposing so much skin as he guided him to the living room. As soon as they entered Andrew, instead of taking a seat in one of the chairs sat himself down on one side of the sofa making a clear statement on where he wanted Josh to sit. Josh taking this queue took the spot next to him but a good hand's width apart from Andrew's bare hairy legs.
"I hate being gay." Where the first words out of Andrews mouth after Josh sat.
"Why?" Josh said but he felt he knew the answer.
"What's the point of being gay if you still can't be with the person you love?"
"..."
"Josh... How do you feel about me?"
"I'm your friend. At least I was your friend until I screwed things up." Josh admitted.
"It was my fault for pushing this own you." Andrew disagreed.
"Well now that we have both admitted we were at fault for what happened what are we going to do now?" Josh compromised.
"I want a second chance." Andrew said in an almost pleading tone.
"..."
"Josh... do you still love me?'
Josh didn't make a sound but nodded his head yes as he stared at the floor.
"Can I love you?" Was Andrew's second question.
Another nod of the head.
"Can we love each other?" Andrew asked with tears running down his face.
Josh, this time no longer able to contain himself looked Andrew in the eye before responding with a kiss. It was a long kiss and by the time it was done both men had their shorts off and Josh was on his back with Andrew on top of him, both men's faces wet with tears.
"Josh, you don't know how lonely the gay life can be. I tried living it for six months and I never found anything more meaningful then you." Andrew wept as he pressed his face into Josh's chest.
Josh let his finger run down Andrew's back as he tried to comfort his friend. It was a complete change for Josh. Just days ago he had been the man needing comfort from Robert about being gay. Now, he needed to use the lessons he learned to try to help his best friend. The problem though for Josh was he had not experienced what Andrew had so he didn't know what to say. So he continued to hold his friend in his arms until the crying began to die down into a few hiccups.
Just when he was sure that Andrew had finally calmed down Josh felt a wet tongue move across his nipple. "What are you doing Andrew?"
"Something I learned from a guy I picked up at a bar." Andrew said as if in a daze. He was in his own little world now that comprised only of himself and the man he was in love with.
Josh knew that he needed to stop this but he found that he didn't want to. Why should Robert fuck any man that made a pass at him while Josh felt guilty about having sex with a good friend? It was the fact that Josh had feelings for this friend while Robert had none for the waiter he had just banged. The waiter could never break Josh and Robert up, Andrew could. Then the words of Kyle entered his head reminding him of the fact that in this stage of his sexual awakening he had no idea what would make him happy. Robert made him happy but then so did Andrew. Should he give up on one for the sake of the other this early in the game? Andrew had also been his first love. It failed not because they stopped loving each other but because Josh had become ridden with guilt. That was the overriding fact on why Josh allowed Andrew to continue. He still loved Andrew and he was now ready to admit it.
After working on both nipples, Andrew got off him and pulled down Josh's shorts and boxers with one single pull. He lifted the raunchy shorts to his nose and gave them a sniff. He then tossed them aside and gave Josh a smile before pulling down his own shorts. While Andrew was blond on top, the hairs around his dick were a dark brown and now trimmed. He gave himself a few strokes while he played with his chest, squeezing out a few drops of precum that he caught with the tip of his finger. He then brought that finger to Josh's mouth, wetting his lips with it before going in for another kiss.
Josh pulled Andrew back down on top of him, letting his dick press against his thigh. Soon Andrew was humping his leg with long slow strokes leaving a trail of precum that let his dick slide eaisier. Josh remained fairly passive during this time, just like he had the first and only other time they had made love. He liked watching Andrew's face change expression as passion took over, the tight contagious smile, the lifting of the eyebrows, and the flaring of the nose. All of it added to Josh's sense that he was making someone very happy which in turn made him happy.
As Andrew got more into it he moved his ass closer and closer to Josh's dick until he was almost sitting on it. Not ready to fuck or be fucked, Josh stopped him by putting a hand on Andrew's arm as he jacked himself off.
"What is it?" Andrew asked concerned.
"No fucking." Josh replied.
"But I want you to fuck me?" Andrew said confused.
"I know... I'm just not ready for that."
"Wow, you are a rare treasure Josh, most people turn down being fucked but you're the first to turn down being the top."
"I don't want to do that until it means something."
"All right. Can we then suck each other off?"
"Well I don't know how yet?"
"You mean you've never had oral sex? Robert must be loosing his touch." Andrew laughed.
"Well I've been on the receiving end but I've never given." Josh corrected.
"Well its pretty simple just take as much as you feel comfortable with and watch out for the teeth. You might want to cover them with your lips if you think it might be a problem especially if you think you might choke."
"Wow you have learned a lot." Josh said impressed.
"Well after 37 bad dates you learn real quick what you like."
"Did you have any good ones?"
"No, I guess you spoiled me."
"I bet you have a lot of stories."
"Yeah but that's now all in the past. I want to concentrate on the future but more specifically the present. I need to teach you the fine art of 69ing."
"60 what?"
"Hahaha, I forgot that you spent most of your time on the farm."
"So what does it mean?"
"Well picture a number six in your mind."
"All right."
"Now imagine that the looped portion of the six is you head."
"Ok, what about the tail end of the number?"
"Well that's you're tail silly." Andrew laughed as he grabbed Josh's dick.
"Ok, I think I get it. Now what does the nine have to do with it?"
"Hahaha, you're really are hopeless Josh."
"Hey, I'm learning."
"I know, its just funny. I knew what a 69 was even before I came out."
"Hey... are you picking on me?"
"No I'm just appreciating your innocence. Now back to the numbers. What does a 9 look like when you turn it around 180 degrees."
"A six," Josh replied.
"Good, now put the same parts of the six on the nine, loop for the head and a dick for the tail."
"All right."
"Now imagine that you're a six and I'm a nine." Andrew grinned as he began to climb on top of Josh. "What part of the nine would be facing your head?"
"The tail...ooooo." Josh finally got it. It would have been pretty hard for him not to, Andrew now had his dick in his face."
"And what part of your six is now in my face." Andrew grinned.
"My dick...I mean my tail."
"Same thing." Andrew chuckled and he began to rub Josh's dick against his face. "So what is a 69, Josh?"
"A double suck off... I guess." Josh said a little embarrassed
"Congratulation you win the grand prize."
"Which is?"
"My mouth on your hot prick."
"MmmMmm." Josh replied. He had already taken the hint and was now working on Andrews dick.
They went at it for several minutes until Josh felt himself ready to shoot. "Andrew you might want to take your mouth off my dick now."
"Why?" Andrew said, not liking his suck interrupted
"I'm about to shoot."
"Great!" Andrew returned and went back with more fervor
"Andrew...ANDREW!" Josh shouted now a little concerned. Andrew was now taking his dick all the way up to the pubes and he seemed to have no intent on letting go.
Josh gave up and leaned back down but he didn't take Andrew's dick back into his mouth. He didn't think he could suck on it without biting now that he was so close. He shot off his load into Andrew's throat. He had expected Andrew to remove his mouth once he had calmed down but Andrew kept at it, this time concentrating on the head that now seemed to be twice as sensitive. An almost giddy calm took over Josh and he let his eyes close. He didn't know how long he remained like that but it was Andrew's lips touching his that woke him from his daze. Andrew then tongue fed him the remaining cum he had gathered around his dick, sharing what he had tasted with the man he loved.
Josh now felt a little guilty, not over having sex but for not sucking Andrew off the same way he had. "Let me finish you off."
"Josh you don't have to. As I said it was my gift to you."
"Well let me give you a gift as well." Josh said as he pushed Andrew back so he was now on his back and Josh was on top of him.
As Josh sucked away, Andrew gave him a few pointers on how to take more in and how to use his tongue. He also grabbed Josh's free hand and moved it to his balls, wanting Josh to pull on them as he too reached climax. He warned Josh when he was about to shoot. Josh removed his mouth but continued to lick around the bottom ridge of his dick like a candy cane. When Andrew finally shot off, most of the cum hit him in the chest but some of it dripped out near the end covering the head. This Josh licked up before giving his own kiss to Andrew.
Andrew held on to Josh until he was certain he was asleep. The workout Josh had in the morning and the sex in the afternoon wore him out. The fact that Josh was now asleep in his arms instead of running away like the last time showed Andrew that Glenn had been right. Josh just needed some time to become comfortable with himself. His only worry now was what to do about Robert or more specifically what was Josh going to do. Andrew wanted Josh all for himself and from what Glenn and Kyle had hinted at Robert wanted the same. The only difference Andrew saw was that Robert wanted Josh all to himself but wanted to still sleep with other men. Andrew on the other hand wanted Josh and no one else. This gave him what he felt was the moral high ground. He just wished Josh would see him as the best choice for a long-term relationship. This did not mean he was going to force the issue with Josh. He had learned his lesson from the last time. He just wanted both Josh and himself to be happy and he was sure that they could both be so if they were together.
When Josh awoke it was already dark inside the house. Andrew was still underneath him but was wide-awake.
"What time is it?"
"8:13 PM, you're not wearing you're watch?" Andrew said in surprise.
"I gave that up when I finally came to terms of who I am and what I did that night."
"... I'm glad you finally gained some peace Josh."
"I wouldn't of if Robert hadn't finally come for me."
"Come for you?"
"Yes, I've known Robert from back in the days I was an orphan. He was like a big brother to me."
"Wow." Andrew said stunned. How was he supposed to compete against that?
"When I finally found him again and found out he was also gay, it became less of an issue for me. If my childhood hero was gay... how could it be wrong?"
Andrew wanted to ask why having your best friend being gay was not enough, but instead he bit his tongue. Many issues with sexuality start off when one is young and it probably took Josh resolving some of his feeling from childhood before he could accept himself. Andrew couldn't tell. One thing Josh rarely talked about was his past.
"I better be going. Robert is probably wondering where I am"
"Can't you stay with me?"
"Andrew I will be honest. I love both of you. It might be better if I just didn't see either one of you until I can make up my mind on which one of you to date but I know that neither one of you want that."
"You need some more time." Andrew said in defeat.
"I need to find out what I need and what I can give."
"I understand."
"Andrew... I love you, don't doubt that but also don't doubt that I love Robert as well. I'm not being fair to the two of you and I think that I need to gain some perspective over what has happened over these short few days."
"So you're going to stop seeing both of us."
"When it comes to sex... yes."
"What does that leave us?"
"Friendship... A new friendship based on our new understanding on how we feel about each other."
"I see... you know that you'll end up hurting both Robert and me with this decision."
"I know and I'm sorry for that."
"Well as long as you don't shut me off like last time I'll be fine with it."
"I won't, ...I promise."
So are you going over to Robert's now?"
"Yes, just like you I think he deserves an explanation face to face instead of a phone call."
"Then I wish you well Josh. Call me when you get back."
"No, I think I need the rest of the night by myself. I'll call you tomorrow."
"All right. Take care Josh." Andrew said as he began putting his cloths back on and heading for the door."
"Bye Andrew."
After Andrew had left Josh hurried and took the shower he had missed. He was going to tell Robert what had just happened but he saw no reason to throw it into his face by coming back smelling like sex. When he was cleaned up he dressed himself in a pair of brown pants and a plaid shirt before heading back to Robert's apartment. It was almost ten o'clock by the time he arrived. He took the elevator up to his floor and found Robert leaning against the outside of his door.
Robert halfway rushed to Josh a fevered look in his eyes but when he saw that Josh was not carrying a suitcase he stopped.
"Where were you?" Robert asked.
"I was at the house...where I was met by someone."
"Andrew?" Robert said with a hope that the answer would be no.
"Yes."
"You still love him."
"Yes... and I still love you as well."
"How can you! How can you love more then one person?" Robert said.
"While it might seem weird that Robert would complain about such a thing, it was because he rarely gave his heart to anyone. In fact he only knew two people he had ever done so, Josh and Lance.
"I just do. That's why I can't move in with you Robert. It wouldn't be fair to either of you."
"I don't care if you fuck him Josh. Don't leave me." Robert said when the reality of Josh's statement sunk in.
"But you do care if I love him Robert, which I do."
"Please... I don't want to be alone again."
Josh walked up and took Robert in his arms. "I know Robert. That's why none of the rumors about you ever bothered me. I know you are lonely."
"I'll give up the baths, the bars, and even the waiters if you will stay with me."
"I'm sure you would try Robert but I don't want you to, especially if it will cause resentment between us."
"Don't you love me?"
"Yes Robert I do... even as much as you want me to. But I have to be fair to both of you and myself. I can't let myself be torn apart trying to make both of you happy."
"Just being with you makes me happy."
"And that won't change."
"I don't understand. How is this to work, you not feeling divided, if you are going to see us both."
"I don't know how it will work." Josh said frustrated.
"Hon... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Andrew must be a great guy."
"He would have to be to compete with you." Josh agreed as he rested his head on Robert's chest.
"I wish I could do something to make it easier for you but I'm not going to give up on you Josh and I bet that Andrew won't either."
"I know."
"Well Josh, I love you regardless which one of us you pick I will always be your friend."