Hey guys, thanksgiving break hasn't ended just yet, there are still two chapters to go before school starts again. I hope you enjoy this one and then the next one on Monday.
Waking up Sunday morning was a bit of a haul but when I got outside, the snap of the cold immediately shook me conscious. Peter already stood outside, same running uniform as yesterday. I was happy that Monica had not joined us, her annoyance not needed so early in the day. Seeing Peter standing tall, had I not been to his game last night, I would not have guessed that he was tired and aching. He was though as his first comment upon seeing me was, "So my body is shot. Simple three mile run alright today?"
Happy to be getting back into the running style, I was content with whatever. "Yea sure. I hope you have a path picked out though." We start heading out the typical way, through the front entrance of the university and down Bellflower. Peter takes the lead, directing the path down the boulevard to the Pacific Coast Highway before turning. Catching him at Channel Drive, we strike up a conversation while waiting at the light.
Me starting off first, I had to get it off my chest, "If you don't mind me asking, how did a guy like you come to meet Monica?" I didn't want to voice my opinion over her too early, ruining any chance of making a more lasting friendship.
The cold air steams of Peter, the hood down revealing his sandy hair, slick back from a slight sweat on his brow. "It's a funny story her and I. A friend on the team had been dating one of the other cheerleaders and they tossed us together as part of a double date scheme. I originally didn't care for her too much but she has kind of grown on me." The light changes allowing for us to take off.
Thinking to myself as we run, `yea I bet she has grown on you- in the same manner poison ivy has.' I still keep my thoughts to myself as we continue down the PCH before reaching Loynes Drive. Knowing we are not that far from the marina community, the sea salt blows up my nose. Catching the light to cross the PCH, we stand on the west side of the street, waiting for the light to change again.
Peter, jogging in place, returns my question to me, "Why do you ask about Monica? What do you think of her?" Peter pulls off his jacket, accidentally pulling the shirt up as well, revealing a nicely toned body, a full 6 pack washboard soaked in moisture. Wrapping the jacket around his waist, he looks over to me, catching me slightly checking him out.
Quickly looking over to the light, I cautiously answer him. "She is a bit much for me, even being gay. I don't know. Something about her personality makes her hard to stand. But" making a smooth recovery, "she looks like she cares a lot about you. And it is because of that that I will be ok with her."
The light changes and Peter takes off, not responding to my concern about her. He stays silent ahead of me, but as we break off to the park, he slows his pace considerably. "If I was not with her, what would your opinion be of her be?"
Waiting till we reach the end of the park, formulating a decent response in my head, I explain what I think of her. Being early on a Sunday, most of the boats are still docked at their houses, so it is nice to see them off to one side, houses on the other. "Well I would think she is just another stuck up cheerleader. I would hope that there is more to her than meets the eye but right off the bat we would not be friends. As it is, I think she sees me as competition for you."
Peter chuckles a little as he runs right beside me. The game from last night is showing, a slight fatigue showing in his steps. "She thinks you are competition for me? Wow, that is flattering to be honest that both sexes like me. Are you trying to steal me?"
Caught off guard his direct comment, I increase my speed a little, wearing him out a little. "Umm... well no cause you're straight. It would be a waste of my time, no offence."
Peter counters with my flimsy stance, "What if I was gay, or bi for that fact?" Peter shrugs his shoulders, as if it was nothing big but that admission stops me in my tracks, not knowing how to react to that.
Completely confused at what is going on, "What? Are you saying you're bi?" His composure at the conversation is throwing me off, not sure of what to say. Not telling him this, it would be great if he was gay, he would be that alpha gay, the Adonis that everyone looks to seek.
Peter had run a few steps ahead before noticing I had stopped then came back, ushering for me to continue running. "Nah, I'm not gay, I'm just posing the scenario, if I was, would you want to date me?"
Swallowing hard, my feet feel like lead as we continue on. We have come to the end of the waterway, Peter turning in at the bike route heading back to Bellflower Boulevard. "Well, I just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago but yea I would want to date you. You have a great personality, your hot not going to lie there." We turn back to the boulevard before I continue. "As I had to face the facts with my president, you are straight. That's reality and not everyone is gay."
Peter continues on in silence, making me feel a little awkward about me saying he is hot. It isn't till we reach Colorado Street that he pipes up, not exactly changing the topic but shifting it away from him, "If you could be straight, would you?"
Keeping an equal pace with him, I easily answer this question. It isn't the first time that I have been asked it so I know how to respond. "At times yes. But for the most part no. I enjoy who I am and whenever I think about wishing to be straight, it adds a bit of guilt to me that I am not normal. But I celebrate that aspect of my life. I am still normal in all other areas just not my sexuality. Why should that matter?"
Peter takes the answer with a simple, "ah ok cool." The rest of the run is kind of silent, us both picking up our pace a little as we approach the PCH again. Timing our run perfectly, we make the light, sprinting through the short block and then crossing 7th street.
Knowing that there are no lights before the entrance, I huff out, "When are we going to cross?"
Peter, looking both ways at the street, makes a quick dash across the street right as a group of cars pass. Had I known he was going to do that, I would have followed suit. Waiting till the flow has finished, I make my way across, ending a little behind him. Running up to him, I cough out, "Don't think your coach would be too happy with that."
Peter chuckles as we slow down to turn the corner. "There are a lot of things I do that Coach is not happy about. Much of it he doesn't know about." Jetting across the grass we make a short ending race to my door, him reaching it first. "Looks like I win this time around." A laugh bellows out of him as we both bend over to catch out breaths. Leaning up with our hands behind our head, to increase air intake, I catch his bulking arms flexing in the process. I know mine flex as well but something about watching him is sexy.
While I would have loved to enjoy the sight longer, I break off first, grabbing my card and moving past him to the door. "Well, thanks for the run. Go again tomorrow?"
Peter unwraps his jacket from his waist and pulls it over him, responding in the process. "Actually, the weekends are going to be my only running times, as practice is pretty brutal during the week.
Shrugging my shoulders, "Eh ok, well let me know if you ever want to go. Till next week then."
Peter smiles at me, "Yea next week. I'll see you later Chris." He heads off out of my sight, allowing for me to go inside. After a quick shower and a bite to eat at the dining hall it has approached 9:30ish. Knowing that I have a bit to study, I make my way through the campus to the library.
When I had reached about the student health center, my phone trilled, letting me know that I had a text message. Surprised to see that it way Tay, I read the contents. Even though I had left on Friday, apparently he still remembered about Michael, enough so to send me a go after him' text. I do wonder how they would act if or when they got to meet each other. Smiling to myself, I send an Ok tiger' back to him, knowing how much he loved that nickname.
Not sure if rugby had practice today, I altered my direction, breaking off down between the parking lot and Brotman Hall. Cutting behind the University Art Museum, I heard the roaring of players on the field, not sure though if it was the rugby team. As I approached the pool, I saw that it was, them fighting over the ball, half the team pushing from one direction and the other half from the other. As I got closer though, some of the guys noticed me, allowing for the other side to push the ball back behind them.
Michael rose up from the losing side, having not noticed me since he was in the middle of the stack. Waving at him, he waves back before starting to make his way towards me. "No, go back to your training. I'll catch you after practice." I shout out at him when he has covered half the distance. While his uniform was simple, the knee high socks outlined his calf muscles well. As was typical with Michael, his uniform was a tight fit, the black and gold shirt clinging to his biceps. Every step he took strained the length of the shirt.
Shrugging his shoulders, Michael turns around and jogs back to the group, the black shorts waving at me with every step. I do my best to follow the practice, picking up on the subtle rules, not throwing the ball forward only sideways and to the rear, and kicking it. It was hard to get the whole turnover issue, how the ball switches hands and all. Mental note to ask him after practice. The training session didn't take long, ending at around 11. Having arrived at 10, it was only an hour but it was a slightly cold hour for not doing anything.
When the players disbanded, it was easy to notice who accepted me and who didn't. Tom and a few of his friends gave a wide berth to me while Kevin, Bryson and a few others passed closer. Kevin even came up and gave me a handshake as he approached. Michael was a few steps behind him, saving me from the intense grip of the bear. "What are you doing here?" Michael asks, carrying one of the rugby balls. His normally wavy hair is matted down by his sweat, the musk flowing around him like an aura.
Not wanting to break the walk, I join the group, but pull Michael to the back, hoping to be out of earshot of the others. We exit out behind Horn Center, me eyeing some of the benches off to the side. "I was wanting to talk about us. Can we sit down?"
Michael motions for the others to carry on without him, and then moves over to join me on one of the benches. A perplexed look crosses his face. "What about us?"
Taking his muddy hands into mine, I look down at his fingernails, scratching off some of the dirt that has clung on. "I am torn at the moment. I want to ask you out on dates and stuff but with winter break coming up, I don't want to start some relationship only to have to put it on hold. It's bugging me."
Michael takes his hands from me and glances out over the open pathway between the buildings. "Who says we have to put it on hold? We can take it one step at a time, seeing where it goes from there." The last sentence is said with his focus back at me, the darkness of his eyes taking me in, attempting to ease my issues.
"That's my problem. I don't take things slowly. I get too attached too quickly." I shift back and forth on the bench, burning holes in my pants.
Michael, doing his best, counters, "To be honest Chris, I don't know what to say. I don't know if I can move too quickly into this. I am still accepting how people are looking at me, the slight glances of being gay. It's something that we both need to think over, figuring out what all to do." He rests his hand on my thigh, attempting to show that he cares. The grip though shows reluctance as it is loose. "How about we talk about this later? Back at my place this evening?"
Slight water flowing under my eyes, I move my hand to his, patting it. "Yea sure." That is all I can muster out at the moment. Being stuck in limbo is the worst feeling ever, not knowing if you are being turned down or not.
Michael stands up, pulling me up as well. Hugging me strongly, I return the grip, my hands wrapping around his waist. He breaks off early, pulling back. "Tonight, say 6 or 7?"
Weakly coughing it out, "Yea sure." I look down at the ground, not wanting to look into his eyes.
"Hey look at me." Michael says softly, lifting my chin with his dusty hand. "We will work something out. Ok? I am going to go shower. I feel mucky." With that said, Michael backpedals, not breaking focus with me until he turns the corner.
I feel like the weight of the world is on me, and as much as I want to text Tay, I don't need him urging me on. Thinking to the next best option, I call up Pike, sadly getting his voicemail. "Hey Pike," stifling a sniffle, "I was wondering if I could talk with you. I don't know if you are coming to campus but I will be at the library, bottom floor studying. Thanks." Hanging up, I fall back into the bench, calming myself down before heading off.
The bottom floor is one of the few places on campus where phones don't work, no matter what area you are in. Being surrounded by the dirt on all side, and the metal/concrete above you, it is hard for the signal to get in. I should have thought of that when I got down there, looking down at my phone seeing no bars on it. Hoping Pike would still come, I stayed down there and studies, only leaving once around 2 to get a sandwich from a little café in the building.
The lower level was nice because it was all media oriented. While I had plenty of music on my laptop, it was still fun at times to see what the library had. After reaching a brain overload a few times, I would also look through the DVD selection. Even though it was a public university, the collection that Long Beach had was pretty good.
Through this all, even with the studying, it was hard not to think about Michael. Had I gone too hard? Had I forced my hand too early? Thankfully around 3 Pike arrived, surprising me from behind. I was in a corner so it was not that hard to do. "Hey Chris, what's up? You didn't sound to good on the phone." He pulls out a seat next to me, dropping his bag on the top.
Groaning heavily, "I am so confused at what to do." Swallowing hard, I look over to him.
Sensing the pause, Pike humorously comments, "Well, you could have sex with a girl. I find that always helps figure out who you like." I should have elaborated more on what I was talking about.
Laughing meekly, "Yea like that would help right now. I'm talking about Michael. I want to ask him out, and I kind of did earlier but I know things will progress too fast. Especially with finals a few weeks away, a relationship is not good right now. Plus, as he said, he isn't even sure he can move fast. He is apparently, and I quote, still accepting how people look at him. It's just so frustrating." I close my book, shuffling my papers into a nice and neat stack.
Pike smiles over to me, "Welcome to a college relationship. It's hard work and shit." Chuckling a little, he continues, "He will still be there come January. I am sure that if you were to find an equal ground then things might be able to work out." Looking into his backpack, Pike pulls out a piece of paper and a pen. "Write down all the benefits of having him before break and all after."
I make a small table for Pike, hoping to humor him. The list leans more towards the post-break side, only further confirming what I already knew. "Well that was helpful." I mutter sarcastically.
Pike digs for another piece, this time writing at the top `The Love Constitution.' A puzzled look shows on my face, forcing him to explain. "It's corny I know but it's something that your sister and I have drawn up. It involves when we can have sex and not, how much I have to deal with her during her periods, et cetera. Personally it came out strong for her, Ally getting most of the benefits out of the agreement. This will be a simple mock up for you and Michael."
While writing down some elementary things on it, Pike make clear what all he is talking about, "For example, as a bullet point, I will add that if you two agree to this contract, then you are not going to be seeing other guys. It's a simple thing to add, something that every relationship should have. Since you two are just starting to date a minor clause could be added that this comes into play after dating for, what, say a month? That way you two should know by then if you want to keep on dating."
Piping up a little at the slight absurdity of this `constitution', I put in my two cents, "Add another one stating that the relationship won't be hidden, while holding hands is optional, we are not going to lie that we are seeing each other. I don't want to be that secret guy that Michael is seeing. The holding hands is allowing for him to get comfortable in it."
Pike works at the paper, getting more ideas from me, both of which help me and Michael in working things out. It would be more helpful if he was here but that is what the talk will be about at 7. It takes about an hour to smooth out the kinks but when we have finished, I pick it up and read it over. "This is complete bullshit. I can't believe you have one of these set up with my sister."
Pike merely pats my shoulder, "That's what you do for those you care about. And it was your sister's idea. You can thank her for this."
Putting the paper in my backpack, I start to pack my things up, my stomach grumbling at me for some real food. Apparently the sandwich wasn't enough to tide it over. "My stomach is telling me that it is dinner time. You going to stay here and study or were you going to head out as well?"
Pike smiles at me, "Nah, I figure I might as well put in a few hours studying. Enjoy dinner and good luck."
I turn to head out, much more calm about the situation and how I am going to deal with Michael. Instead of heading to my hall to drop my bag, I grab dinner first at the hall. The flow of students has returned, us fighting over the tater tots and deserts. While I eat alone, it allows for me to look over the paper, laughing at some of the more stupid ideas Pike and I dreamt up: No sex on a night before tests, no kissing in class, and a few others.
When seven came around, I was prompt at Michael's door. After knocking, I stand back, waiting for Michael to open it. Instead Bryson opens it, Michael working off to the side on some paper. Bryson invites me in and goes back to his bed while I move over to Michael. "Hey how was the rest of your day?" I ask cautiously, not sure of how much thinking he has done after our talk.
"It's been alright. I have been trying to work on a paper but I haven't gotten really far. I have been thinking a lot about what we both had said earlier."
I sit on the edge of his desk, facing him in his chair. "Yea, same here. As sad as it sounds I called Pike to talk it over. We even made up a "Love Constitution." I pull it out and hand it to him.
Bryson, attempting to work on some paper of his, turns around to us. "I am going to head out. No offence but this is starting to get a little too gay for me." He grabs his bag and books, then heads out the door, leaving Michael and I to ourselves.
Michael looks over at the door as it closes, then back to the paper, reading over some of the bullet points. "No kissing in class? Wow that is kind of amusing. I am sure Mrs. Steiner wouldn't mind too much anyways. Is all of this for real?"
Swallowing hard, "Yea, I did my best to think out for you as much as I could. It is amendable to talk over." I want to kiss Michael to prove it, but hold back, not sure if it is right. `Ah fuck it' I think to myself as I move in and grab Michael's head, lifting it back gently and placing my lips on his, a simple but firm kiss proving my words.
Michael, originally looking at the paper, blasts his eyes wide at my forward move. Pushing me off, his lips are flush from the sudden red blood rush. A million contemplations flow through our heads, our eyes connecting, and an ocean bridge raging together, the storms connecting into one equal force.
Michael stands up, pressing me against the desk, our chests connect, sparks flying through the fabric from one body to the other. Taking my head back in, Michael presses his lips against mine, the flow of our passion connecting completely for the first time.
Well then that was a great end for this chapter right? No? Well stay around for the next chapter. Suffice to say it gets very PASSIONATE.
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