Day one. I was checking in at the hotel desk when I heard someone behind me say, "Hey, Alex." I knew the voice, but I couldn't place it. When I turned around I saw a face I haven't seen in seven years.
"Shane!" I exclaimed. We gave each other a hug.
"You in this meeting, too?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. "I was glad when I saw your name in the participant list. Thought it would be interesting to see you again, catch up on old times."
Shane and I entered grad school at the same time, and came to know each other well during our first year. We spent study sessions talking about everything - life, grad school, family - and became good friends even though we were at different points in our lives. He was newly married at the time, with a young daughter. I was single, and still liked to party. He told me I was the first man he ever shared intimate details about life with. But it got weird between us when I told him my sexual preferences. He probably thought I was going to try and seduce him, even though I didn't think I was, despite my feelings for him. By the time he graduated, two years ahead of me, we weren't really talking. I heard he got a great job in some pharmaceutical company, had a second child, bought a nice house in the suburbs. When I graduated, I moved away, and never heard from or of him again. But I had good memories of Shane, and it seemed to me he felt the same way.
Later that night, we were sitting at the hotel bar. I was tired after a whole day of listening to seminars about this and that - basically how the pharmaceutical industry could make more money than it already is now. We were sipping beer as I was listening to Shane talk about his job. He seemed to like it. I smiled and nodded to encourage him to keep talking, but my mind was somewhere else. I was thinking about grad school.
"So you're married now, huh?" he asked. He was looking at the ring on my left hand. The question jolted me out of my reverie.
"Yeah," I said. I assumed he'd heard about it. He knew my wife. I met her in grad school; we got married after we finished.
"I didn't know you were up for it," he said.
"What do you mean?" I bristled, even though I knew what he meant. Most people, straight or gay, just do not want to believe that bisexuals exist on this planet. I like cock just as much as I like pussy and had both girlfriends and boyfriends before I fell in love. Being married to a woman, I consider myself a functional heterosexual now.
"Sorry," he said. "It's just that ..." He exhaled, and I looked into his eyes. Greenish, hazel. They were the same color as my wife's. I've tried to read what's behind those eyes many times before.
"Just that what?" I said.
"Nothing," he shrugged.
I shrugged, too. It seemed the appropriate response.
"Do you miss it?" he asked. "I mean, guys?"
"Yes and no," I said. "It's not that different from straight men trying to be faithful to their wives."
"Really?" he asked.
"Sure," I said. I was getting annoyed. I spent years justifying my sexual orientation to other people, and I wasn't going to do it anymore. But I kept the conversation going. "You've been married now for how long, ten years?" I asked.
He nodded.
"How many women did you have the opportunity to have sexual relations with?" I asked.
"A few."
"How many did you have sex with?" I asked.
"None," he shrugged again. He gave me a sly smile, as if daring me to ask more. I decided to ignore it.
"It's no different for me," I said. "Except I have to deal with both men and women."
"Lucky you," he murmured, but I pretended not to hear.
We lapsed into silence. I started thinking about going up to my room. Sessions were starting early the next day. I wanted to get a lot of sleep. I started to say goodnight a couple of times, but ended up staying in my seat. Shane was tapping his fingers on the bartop.
"Do you remember the time when you showed me that magazine?" The question took me by surprise. I inhaled.
"I do," I said. It was exactly what I was thinking of a moment ago - the incident that caused the weirdness between us. I had told him I was bisexual. He said he didn't believe it and asked me to prove it, so I showed him my collection of porn magazines - both gay and straight. I remember him leafing through the pages of one gay rag. I remembered watching his eyes and wondering what he was thinking. He did a double take when he saw the explicit pictures of men sucking and fucking each other. I remembered him putting the magazine down, then walking away hurriedly, almost running. I remembered calling after him, but he didn't look back.
"I freaked out," he said, with a sheepish grin.
"You stopped talking to me after that," I said.
"No," he returned. "You started avoiding me."
I looked at him in surprise. What the fuck? I remembered seeing him double back so we wouldn't meet at the hallway.
"Whatever," I said. I decided I didn't really care for this conversation. I don't need closure. I'm perfectly willing to let the thing go. It was history. I have my life now, happily married. It's not going to do me any good stirring up old memories of this man.
The silence got awkward so I stood up. "I'm turning in. I'm tired," I said, without looking at him. I walked away. Just as I rounded a corner, I turned and looked back at him. He was staring at the bar, shaking his head.
Day two. We were at the hotel lobby, waiting for the elevator, chatting about the day's presentations. It seemed to me we decided to forget the previous night's awkwardness.
"Which floor are you in?" he asked.
"Five," I said.
"I'm at nine," he said. "In a suite." He was high up in his company.
"Good for you," I said, feeling a little jealous.
"I've got a hot tub," he said. "A real one, not one of those tiny bathtubs they put a jet in. Do you want to have a soak?"
I wondered where all this was going. Best avoid it, I thought.
"I didn't bring a suit," I said, hoping he'd drop it. As soon as I said it I knew it sounded like a tease.
"You don't need one," he answered as he smiled at me, showing a perfect row of teeth. I was thinking what the fuck - he's coming on to me. Why now, when I don't have - shouldn't have - room in my life for him.
The elevator door opened. We walked in.
"C'mon," he urged. "It'll be fun."
"I don't know," I said. But I let the elevator take me to the ninth floor.
We never got to the hot tub. He grabbed me the moment he closed the door. Shane's kiss was urgent, and I offered no resistance. I closed my eyes, tasting his tongue as he probed my mouth. I was thinking, this is wrong, we're both married. But I've fantasized about this man before I met my wife. I decided that I could justify giving in to Shane's caresses.
He helped me out of my clothes. His palms were rough and a little callused. I've forgotten what a man's hands feels like on my body - stronger, more aggressive than a woman's. When I was completely naked, he pushed me on the bed. I lay on my back, and Shane stared at my erect cock as he took his clothes off. I watched the movements of his well-developed chest, the strong curves of his torso. He's kept himself in shape, I thought. I watched in anticipation as he pulled down his briefs, but before I could admire the rising shaft at his crotch, he lay on top of me.
"I've always wanted to do this with you," he whispered in my ear. He started kissing my neck, down my chest, and stopped just above my pubes. He stared at my erection, which jerked up and down invitingly. He grabbed my cock and squeezed.
"You dick is so warm," Shane said huskily.
The lust I heard in his voice drove me wild. As he opened his mouth to engulf my cock, I grabbed the back of his head and pushed hard. He gagged, and I released him, but instead of pulling away, he pushed even further into my crotch. He started sucking greedily, wrapping his mouth expertly around my shaft, making me feverish, wondering where the fuck did you learn to do this, why didn't we do this before. I humped into his mouth, groaning, my head turning from side to side. His lips gripped my shaft tightly, his tongue caused shivers to run up my spine.
I yelled his name as I came, and he swallowed. Shane licked and drained my softening cock, then pulled himself up to kiss me again, making me taste my own. I could feel his huge erection between my legs. The feeling of his body against mine made me realize what I wanted from him - what I've fantasized about since I saw his thick long cock in the gym showers from our time before.
I whispered it into his ear.
Shane looked into my eyes, and for the first time I knew exactly what he was thinking. He pushed my legs up, bringing my knees against my shoulders. He probed a thickly lubed finger into my ass. When his finger grazed against my prostate, my cock tented up again. I started stroking it slowly, enjoying the sensation of his finger stretching and prodding my ass.
Never taking his eyes off mine, Shane aimed his cock-head against the opening of my ass, and pushed. I gasped at the pain of the entry, but as he probed my mouth with his tongue, the initial shock gave way to pleasure. He started moving his hips slowly, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. His thrusts came faster and faster, until he was pummeling my ass, making me scream in ecstasy.
"Ahh! Fuck me! Fuck me!" I yelled.
"Oh, god, Alex! Your ass feels so good!" Shane screamed as he pushed his cock all the way in, and I felt the thick squirts of his ejaculation against the walls of my ass. I erupted again and again, showering us both with my cum.
Day three. Late afternoon, Shane and I were drinking beer at a bar in the airport. We talked about what happened the night before, when we fell asleep in each other's arms after hours of lovemaking that left both our cocks drained and our asses spent. We talked about our past friendship, and what might have been. We talked about our present lives. It almost felt like the old times.
I gulped my beer down when I heard the boarding announcement for my flight.
"What do we do now?" he asked as he handed me my bag. We started walking to the gate.
"We go home to our families," I said.
"I'm glad I found you again," he said, "but I love my wife."
That statement made me sigh with relief. I love my wife, too.
"It's never going to happen again," I said. "I made a vow, and I intend to keep it from now on."
"Funny," I added. "I've always told myself that if I ever was unfaithful, it will have to be with you. I just never thought it would actually happen."
His eyes opened wide in wonder. Then he smiled, and shook his head. I remembered seeing the same act at the hotel bar two days ago.
"I thought the same, too," he said.
I looked into Shane's eyes. I thought I understood them now. I finally realized what I felt for him - and I saw it reflected there. I felt a twinge of regret and looked away. But when I looked back he was smiling at me. I gave a small laugh and grinned back.
I don't keep many secrets from my wife. She knows of my past sexual exploits. She accepts them and loves me for who I am. She even accommodates my need for ass-plugging with her strap-on. But this I could never tell her. I was unfaithful, not with a stranger, which for some reason is what spouses fear most, but with a man that I loved, though I never admitted it before. That doubled the guilt, but I will deal with it, I told myself. Again, I thought of my justification - I met him and fell in love with him before I met and fell in love with her. And I was coming home to her, where I was determined to stay.
"Goodbye, Shane," I said, as I wrapped my arms around him. His hug was equally tight.
"Goodbye, Alex." he said. Our hug took longer than normally expected of two male friends. People started to look. I closed my eyes - what the fuck, I thought, I don't care if anybody sees. We will share this moment. It's the last one we'll have together.