Here is the next part as promised. Disclaimer: See previous part and or any other story in this directory! poem credit: both poems are written by me, please dont use them w/o my permission. thanks much
The Thing with Nick 6
The thing with Nick is, he's completely irresistible.
Until that day, I didn't think it was possible to hurt that much. But Nick proved to me that it was. But it was as if he was my addiction. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. But I wouldn't look at him. He would look me in the eyes and I would turn away. And he would avoid my stare when my eyes roamed him body.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I wanted him.
I needed him.
But I didn't know how to get him, back.
I did the only thing that came naturally. I wrote. And wrote, and wrote. Until the poems ceased to sing and the words became mute. The songs my heart sings for Nick are unlike anything I've ever written before. He brings out the sadness in me. He brings out the happiness in me. He brings out the passion in my veins and the love in my blood. He brings me out of the shell I cover myself with when times get too hard. He is my laughter and my tears, my salty, salty tears.
~ Nick ~
The only way I know how to tell you these things, without the pain of looking at you, is to write it. And I only hope that you are strong enough to read it, and stick with it as the pages go by and the tears fall on the pages.
AJ was the first man I had ever been with. With him, it was surreal. The sex was amazing, I'll give him that, AJ knows how to fuck. But he doesn't know how to make love. It was never slow and passionate. I wanted my first time to be out of love, and out of lust. Passionate, and compassionate. I wanted smooth and gentle, but rough and tumble. All I ever got with Alex was rough and tumble.
Every time he came, he would whisper ' I love you's' in my ear. How could I not believe him? We just kinda fell into a relationship. But I always realized that it was lacking something. It was lacking emotions. It was always sex. Fucking. He never wanted to hold my hand, or brush away strands of hair or kiss away tears when he got too rough. He said he loved me, but I don't think Alex knows what love is.
Nick, my beautiful Nicky, I know you know what love is. I see it in your eyes when your eyes cross mine. I see it in the way you hang your head in shame over hurting me. I hear it in your voice when you sing to crowds but look to me; I heard it in your voice and through your tears, which are only for my ears, when you sang to me.
God, Nicky, whether I like it, or you right now, it's inevitable. You have my heart. I am so deeply in love with you that it's killing me not being able to hold you at night. But I'm torn now.
Please, Nick, reads these words I have written for you. Please, read them and understand my love and pain for you.
A lesson unlearned
I do that sometimes
I push too much
And I loose
I want to love
And I try too hard
And I loose
But I don't know how to not
Tell you what I'm thinking
I don't know how to not
Want you in my life
Back and Forth
I thought I lost him
I even tried to lose him
But apparently he fought
To stay by my side
I thought I could stop
Wanting him so
And I guess that I did
But not really as much
As I wanted to
He wanted to love me
But only so much
He wanted to hold me
But I was cold to the touch
Or maybe it was he
That was cold
And I
Who wanted to love and to hold
But really I don't have time
To deal with things of the past
Why worry over loves
That will never happen
When I can concentrate
On lovers that will never be
(A Lesson Unlearned & Back and Forth Copyright Elisheva A-B 2001)
As God as my witness, I love you, and I don't know if I should, but I do.
I tried, and now it's your turn.
~ Howie ~
The thing with Nick is, sometimes he tries too hard. ~~~~~~~~~~ ~Elisheva~ MrClean290@aol.com Feedback is apprecaited 7 to follow shortly