This story contains sex between minor boys and teen-agers. If such things offend you, or you are not at least 18 years of age, then please don't read on. This story is not true, but who knows, maybe some day it will be.
CHAPTER 40
Ost Lesha Drey
by Douglas DD
Douglas lay on the lounger looking up at the night sky. The stars were brilliant, sparkling in the fantastically clear night sky. Last night he had been in the same chair, only last night it was raining. He had just sat back and let the rain soak his naked body. He didn't go inside until somebody took his hand and led him in. He remembered being dried off and led to his bed, staying there throughout the next day. He didn't go to school. He barely remembered eating. He remembered going into the backyard sometime after it had become dark and sitting back in the lounger again and not moving, just like the night before.
He wondered if one of the stars above him was Sol, or maybe Alpha Orion. He wondered if he would ever go back to Sol, or ever make it to Alpha Orion.
But he didn't want to be anywhere right now. He just wanted to be alone Totally alone, just him and the rain or the stars. He wanted to be on some different star up there in the black night sky.
Although he wondered if he'd ever go back to Sol, or make to Alpha Orion, right now he just wanted to be alone. Completely alone, with only himself, the rain, and the stars.
He thought about the last three days. He remembered walking home from school thinking he was ready for anything and remembered noticing something about the door across the street. The door was open. That was it, that was what had bothered him. The balcony door on the vacant house was open. Then there was a flash of light and bodies falling everywhere. He remembered firing his rifle more than once and he remembered getting hit by something. It felt like a giant fist hitting him in the gut. His belly was still sore.
He remembered waking up in the middle of the street, medics around him and people everywhere. Enghar's dad and Kallama were there helping give first aid. He remembered being taken up to his room and put into bed alone, and he remembered wondering where Scooter was before he fell asleep on the bed.
Douglas looked at the stars and felt tears stinging his eyes. He lost somebody who was his responsibility. Someone he had been responsible for was dead. He should be alive right now, a boy full of life, not some lifeless body. He should have turned everything over to the Hakaan adults right from the start. Why did he suddenly think he was good enough to protect everybody?
He spent almost all of the next day in bed. He didn't bother going to school. He was told no one in the group was going to school. They were all too shook up over what happened. He didn't want to talk to anybody. There were knocks on his door, but he told whomever came to go away.
Mike tried coming in once, and Douglas screamed at him to get the fuck out, then turned and faced the wall. Kallama brought food in and set it down inside the door. Douglas didn't eat it. He'd heard what happened while he was lying in the street, finding out that one of their group was dead, killed by a laser rifle set on stun. He had seen the body taken away with the blanket covering it, just like they did on Earth. It was then he knew he had failed. After all that happened, getting them through so much, he had failed right in his the front yard. He failed the whole group and he failed the boy who was carried away. And nobody could change that. Nobody.
There was another knock at the door.
"Go away!" Douglas said.
"Please let me see you. Let me talk to you," came the quiet voice from the other side. "Please!"
"Go away, go away go away, go away."
"I......."
"NO! GO AWAY!"
He waited and heard nothing then rolled over and slept. Just before dark he woke up, and went out into the yard. He sat in the lounger and looked up at the dark sky. When the rain came he didn't move. He let it rain on him and cleanse him. He wished he could clean out what was inside of him as easily.
The next day he did the same thing. He stayed in bed. He hardly ate. He told anybody knocking on the door to go away. It was well after midnight when he got out of bed and walked out into the back yard and to the lounger.
The night was warm and the stars were bright and full. Neither of Inferon's two moons were in the sky do dim the brightness of the stars above him.
He didn't know how long he had been sitting in the lounger. He didn't want to get up from it. He didn't want to move. He hated being alive. He wondered why the rifle hadn't been set on kill, and he half wished it had been.
He heard the door open behind him. Somebody was coming out into the yard. He wanted to yell to go away but he didn't have the energy. The boy coming out back sat in the grass next to Douglas's lounger.
"Beautiful night. The stars are awesome. Our home is up there somewhere."
Douglas didn't say anything. He'd been ignoring the boy next to him for two days. Closing his mind, trying to close his heart. He wished he would just leave him alone. He didn't deserve him any more.
"Douglas. Douglas. Don't do this. Don't shut me off. I don't know why you're doing this. I love you Douglas. Talk to me. Let me help you."
Douglas stared up at the night sky. He said nothing. He tried to fight back the tears. Scooter got up and kneeled next to the lounger. He placed his head on Douglas's chest and looked up at Douglas. Douglas tried to ignore the pressure on his chest, but it was hard to ignore the wetness from Scooter's tears as they dropped on to his chest. It became hard to ignore Scooter climbing up on the lounger and lying partly on him, hugging him tight.
"Oh, Douglas, I love you so so much. Let me help you. I love you. Let me help you get through this. We can do it together." Scooter felt Douglas shake as his lover started crying out of control. The tears flowed down hard and he shook and sobbed. Scooter held him tightly, kissing the wet cheek next to him.
"Oh, God, Scooter, I'm so sorry I shut you out. God, I love you so much. I didn't want you or anybody to feel my hurt." He shook again. "I screwed it all up so bad."
"You did the best you could. Better than any of us could have.You did an awesome job. Everybody said so at school today. Everybody."
"If it was so awesome, then why is Jordan dead?"
Scooter held his love tightly under the stars. "You weren't like this when we thought we lost Matthew. You were sad but you came back and led us. You brought us here. You know you're not at fault."
"Scooter, we never knew what happened to Matthew. We never saw him dead. And we had to move on. It was move or die then. We did what we could. Yes, it affected me and hurt me, but I had to lead us out of that desert. I had to keep us going. I had to help the rest of us survive, but this is different. Way different."
"How?"
Douglas took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. "Matthew was one of us. Quiet, younger, small, but we loved him. Mike made him his brother. Jordan was different. He bullied some, like he did with Matthew. On the "Starkeeper" we never took him in as one of us. We saw how he liked being with RC and we pushed him aside. We even ignored what he was doing to Matthew because we didn't want anything to do with him. Then here, the whole time I treated him like he was nobody. He had no friends, no partner, and I did nothing to make things better. We'd have sex and he'd jack off."
"He did a lot of it to himself," Scooter said.
"Did he? Or did we never give him a chance?"
"You let him scout for a way down to the valley. You did that for him," Scooter reminded him. "I saw you try Douglas. You had so many other things on your mind. We never were totally safe until now. You had to watch out for all of us."
"When we got here in the valley, I ignored him. I didn't like him. I kept wishing he wasn't part of us. I helped to set him aside from everybody. I was a jerk, and because of that he ran to RC and now he's dead. I could've done something about that. It's way different from with Matthew. Jordan didn't have to die. It's my fucking fault."
Scooter got up from the lounger and lay on his side on the grass. He patted the ground next to him. Douglas got off the lounger and lay down next to him, looking straight into his face.
"It's like by ignoring him and not making him feel like he was one of us, I killed him. He never should have been in that house. He should have been somewhere safe."
Scooter moved closer to Douglas. "Douglas, listen. Do you know the whole story of that battle. What really happened?"
"I know Jordan is dead. What else is there to know?"
Scooter stroked Douglas's back. "There was a lot of shooting. We were hurt and burned a little from heavy stun. Only one boy died. Haven't you asked yourself why?"
"We had our guns on heavy stun. Jordan got shot with RC's rifle and....oh...shit. I think I see."
"Yeah. RC let Jordan do the shooting. Jordan used to practice in the crew rec area all the time. Matthew said that he was an excellent shot. Jordan had his rifle on stun. From what I heard RC didn't know that. He thought Jordan was killing everybody he hit. Then RC was going to shoot you, I guess, and Jordan stopped him. He grabbed the rifle from RC, but it went off and killed him. RC's rifle was set to kill."
"Why didn't he just shoot RC? Why did he go and try to grab the rifle?"
"I don't know. It was wild and crazy right then. But Jordan saved some lives. If Jordan isn't in that house, more than one of us dies. Maybe everyone who was in the street then, who knows. The point is Douglas, why did he decide to take his rifle off kill? Do you remember that meeting you had before he ran away?"
"Yeah. All the good it did."
"What was the last thing you told him?"
Douglas thought for a few seconds. "That I was sorry for how we treated him and that we loved him. No matter what, he should always remember that we love him."
Scooter kissed Douglas lightly on his neck. "I think he remembered, my sweetums. You should be thinking that. Jordan died saving us. Probably saving you, my love. I'm thinking maybe he died helping people who loved him, people he knew loved him in spite of all his flaws. I think in the end Jordan knew who his real friends were."
"Jordan seemed pretty confused about a lot of things."
"He wasn't confused when he died. He picked us over RC. He died a hero and knowing exactly who he loved. And that's his leg..leg.."
"Legacy."
"Yeah, legacy. Brain fart. Hehehe. So see, you've been beating yourself up over nothing. Instead of hiding you should have opened your door. We all love you Douglas, and I love you beyond love."
"You're right, Scooter, my sweetness. I locked you all out. I thought I needed to be off by myself. I was wrong. I needed your love. Everybody's love. You guys are my family, you're my whole world. Thanks for hanging with me the last couple of days. I know I was pretty miserable to be around."
Scooter hugged Douglas tightly and close to him. "My love for you is unconditional. Through the good and the bad."
"What did I do to deserve you? I love you so much."
Scooter rolled Douglas over and started rubbing his hardness against Douglas. They kissed deeply. They made sweet love in the night under the star filled sky.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Enghar was still a little shook by what he had seen coming around the corner. He had thought everybody was dead. He sat down and cried until Bandar showed up a couple of minutes later. It was Bandar who called for help while Enghar could do nothing but cry. He was mad at himself for being able to do nothing. He was mad at Mycroff for telling about the empty house. He was mad at himself even more for not figuring out sooner what was going on.
He was sad to learn one of the round eared boys was dead, the one named Jordan. He was happy to know that the round eared boys who were quickly becoming his friends were all still alive. He remembered the first time he saw Jordan in the hospital and how he thought Mattoo was scared of him. Then Jordan ran off to join the Shkah and everybody said bad things about him. Mattoo didn't like him at all, and Mattoo was his love.
For the next couple of days Mattoo was with him all the time. Talking to him and touching him. Sometimes just sitting there saying nothing. Plans were being made for permanent homes for the round eared boys. No plans had to be made for Mattoo. His home was right here.
The next day Enghar finally went back to school, hee and Mattoo getting a ride from a family friend. Douglas and Scooter were just walking up to the school yard as Mattoo and Enghar arrived. Enghar smiled and waved. They waved back. Then he walked Mattoo to his classroom and kissed him and wished him a good day.
When he got to his own class he saw Mycroff. Mycroff came up to him and hugged him.
"I'm so glad to see you back," he said. "I missed you."
"You gave them away!" Enghar said.
"Huh?"
"You told where they were staying. You helped set them up!"
"No, I didn't. I just thought he was some kid from the north end. I didn't know. I never would have done it on purpose." Mycroff started crying. "Everybody keeps saying I have a big mouth. I guess they're right. I'm sorry, Enghar. You know I would never do something like that on purpose."
Enghar grabbed him and hugged him. "I know, Mycroff. I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"I'm sorry too, that I said too much," Mycroff sobbed. Enghar hugged him tighter and they headed for class.
"You want to spend the night?" Mycroff asked. "No school tomorrow."
"Can Mattoo come too?"
"I just want you tonight. I have something special to talk about."
Enghar hesitated. He wanted Matthew to be with his friends. He wanted Matthew with him all the time. But he and Mycroff had been friends since before they started school. They had overnighted and had their first sex and orgasms together. They had been very close until Matthew came into his life.
"Okay. But next time can I bring Mattoo?"
Enghar didn't notice the hurt look on Mycroff's tear stained face. "Yeah. Sure. Next time."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Douglas was happy to be in front of the group again. He sat on the stool in front of the classroom.
"First, I want to say I'm sorry for the past couple of days. I acted like a jerk."
"There is nothing to apologize for, Douglas," Mike said. "Absolutely nothing. And I think that's how everybody here feels. It was a rough time for all of us. I just want you to know we were all ready to be here for you. We all love you. You don't have to close us off when times get tough.
You don't have to do it alone."
"Thanks, Mike. I guess I forgot that and I'm sorry." He looked into Scooter's eyes. "Thank you, my love, for staying with me." He looked at the rest of his friends. "Thank you all for being great."
"No, thank YOU," Mike said. "You got us here. We're all safe. Have or are getting homes. If not for you, we would be dying or dead in the desert on the "Moonduster".
"I think since we're all here, we should have a moment of silence for Jordan. He saved some lives, mine being one of them."
Everyone agreed, and they had a moment of silence for the slain boy.
"What happens to him now?" Douglas asked. "I mean, burial and whatever?"
Alex told him there would be a ceremony at the Temple in the Forest the day after tomorrow. He said that the Hakaanen didn't bury their dead, they cremated them. Their ceremonies were short and special. They had all agreed to go along with the Hakaanen ceremony. Douglas was realizing that while he was sulking alone in his room he had missed a lot.
"What about RC?"
"RC is going to have a trial at the capital. They don't have many murder trials here. Bandar told us this there's only been two trials since the last Hakaan ship came. Now they are going to have another, and one of us is the one charged. I guess during the raids Robert Charles did all the killing and he is being charged with all of them. Some of the Shkah are being charged. The two boys who were with RC in the house were caught trying to get back home. So they will be charged with something, along with the Shkah leaders during the war."
"What do the Hakaanen do with murderers?" Travis asked.
"They don't have a death penalty," Alex said. "They usually are locked up for life in their prison. Which right now has only five prisoners and has room for twelve.The five prisoners are the four Shkah and RC."
They talked a while longer about getting their permanent homes, and finally settling down. Then Modar came into the room and their lessons started up again.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Enghar and Mycroff were sitting in Mycroff's room playing a game of Lapla. Mycroff had a new deck of cards, an expensive present from his parents. Because of limited raw materials, only a certain amount of card decks were made each year. Enghar's cards were old, sticky, and flabby. The slick new cards felt good. Mycroff was beating him badly and Enghar was glad they weren't playing for real money.
Mattoo had been disappointed he couldn't go, but Enghar told him Mycroff was his oldest friend and that they had had hardly any time together since Matthew had arrived. Mycroff had spent one night at Enghar's house. Mattoo had slept in his own room that night, and it had been obvious Mycroff didn't care a lot for Mattoo. He promised Mattoo he would be able to come with him next time, which made Mattoo feel better. Yet Mattoo couldn't help but feel jealous of Mycroff. He was afraid of losing the boy he loved so much.
While walking to Mycroff's house, Enghar thought about Mycroff's feeling toward Mattoo and about how Mycroff had shot off his big mouth to the Shkah boy. For a moment he wondered if maybe he had given away the information on purpose to set up the round ears. Then he shook his head. Mycroff didn't know who that boy was, plus he really did have a big mouth and liked telling everybody everything. And besides, even though he didn't like Mattoo much, he was a very sweet boy who could never think that way. Enghar felt badly for even thinking like that.
Even though he was losing to Mycroff in Lapla, Enghar was having fun. They played another hand and Enghar lost more chips.
"You said you had something to show me," Enghar said.
"Yeah. Let's put the cards away." Mycroff put the cards into the card box.
Then he lay down on his bed. Enghar got on the bed beside him. Mycroff started stroking himself, getting himself hard. Pretty soon he was jacking off intensely and Enghar decided to join him. He and Mycroff had done this together a lot, since they were six. He remembered them sucking each other for the first time when they were seven. They had started kissing hard and deep when they were ten, rubbing their small dicks together until they had incredible dry orgasms. They loved rubbing against each other from that time on. They'd never done anything anal. Right now they were happy just jerking off.
Enghar could see that Mycroff was eager to cum fast. He had a pretty good idea what this was about, and when Mycroff shot his clear cum over his belly he was sure about it. About twenty seconds later Enghar shot a few clear drops his over himself.
Mycroff saw him shoot and said, "You too?"
"Yeah. Just a few days ago. What about you?"
"A month ago. Do you know what that means?"
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure."
"It means we can decide who our Meshanna will be. It means we can become linked for life. It means we can do the Ceremony of the Soul. This is so totally awesome, Enghar. Look at us! Some boys can't decide until they're 13 or 14, and we can right now."
"Um...what are you saying, Enghar?"
"Sit up," commanded Mycroff.
Enghar knew what this meant. He sat up and so did Enghar. They sat on the bed facing each other, moving in close, their legs around each other, their dicks almost touching. They held their hands. With the Hakaanen, when one boy (or girl) wanted to do the Asking Ceremony, then the other was required to take part. They touched foreheads.
Since Mycroff started the ceremony he did the talking. "Enghar, my love of our youngness, I ask you, with all my heart, all my soul, and all my spirit, to be my soulmate and my heart's love for life. I ask you to be my Meshanna."
Hakaanen children learned how to Ask when they were eight years old and they all practiced it all the time alone, being ready for the day when they planned on Asking someone to be their Meshanna. This wasn't like being a partner. Partners changed sometimes. A Meshanna might become one's partner, or might never be a partner. However, a Meshanna would always be in the soul of his own Meshanna. They might be young when they asked, but the heart knew who the right person was. Even if it turned out they chose never to live together, a Hakaanen's Meshanna was always there for him or her. Together with the help of the priests they would learn to grow together in heart, spirit, and mind. The priests would help take the link they discovered between them and show them how to make it grow in incredible ways through adulthood.
Enghar gave his memorized answer. "Mycroff, my love of my youngness, I answer your request by saying I will take into my heart, my mind, and my spirit your love and I will give you my answer at the time of decision." The two boys finished with a kiss.
To become Meshannas boys had to be able to produce semen and girls once they experienced menarche, although they didn't Ask just because their bodies were ready. Most weren't as young as Mycroff and Enghar, but not everybody was sure who they wanted as a Meshanna even in their early teens. Mycroff, however, was afraid of losing Enghar to Mattoo, even though he wasn't even sure if a Hakaan could have an alien Meshanna. The situation had never happened. Yet Mycroff knew Enghar and Mattoo were becoming close, which was okay with him, but he wanted Enghar to be his Meshanna. After that Enghar could have any partner he wanted, but he would be Mycroff's Meshanna, which was something he would be for life.
The time of decision after being asked was three to five days. No one was allowed make the final decision until three days had passed, but they had to decide by the end of five days. Requests weren't turned down often, but it wasn't unusual, especially with boys and girls who were young, like Enghar and Mycroff. Enghar knew his father turned down a request when he was thirteen, then turned another down just when he turned fourteen. And just before he turned fifteen he made a request to the boy he turned down when he was thirteen, and the boy accepted. As he matured, he realized the connection he had had with that boy. One thing about picking a Meshanna was that it wasn't easy. They both had to be absolutely sure the other one was right. Being Meshannas meant going both ways. It meant each of them wanted the other. It meant being totally sure. Absolutely. Without a doubt. Because a Meshanna was for the rest of their lives and beyond. Meshannas were forever. They learned in school when they studied the ceremony, if they had any doubt to decline The Asking, or to put it off, like Enghar's father had done. Meshannas were forever.
Enghar and Mycroff fell asleep tangled up in each other with Mycroff feeling good about what he asked and Enghar feeling very confused.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The next morning there was no school. The boys went from house to house to visit, but it was a day that was almost boring.
"Can you remember the last time you sat around being bored?" Mike asked Alex.
Alex and Stevie were playing around with some Hakaan instruments. They had borrowed them from a friend of Hajo, string and percussion and keyboard. The sounds were much different from what they were used to, but they were learning how to use the instruments and were loving the sounds and the notes.
"Who's bored?" Alex asked as he ran his fingers up and down the keyboard. Mike sighed, wishing he had something to read. He was beginning to read Hakaan well enough to read a beginning reading book. Wow, how exciting, he thought. He finally closed his eyes and listened to Stevie and Alex make sounds. Jim was with Scooter and Douglas, so it was just him and the brothers. The music went on and he fell asleep.
Jim was with Scooter and Douglas most of the day. Bandar was teaching them how to play Lapla. They were picking it up quickly. Bandar thought at this rate he better be careful playing it for money real soon. After Bandar left to see Alex, Scooter, Jim, and Douglas ended up in bed for some excellent three way sex.
Matthew and Enghar invited Drew and Drake over and taught them some new games. Enghar discovered the twins weren't very interested in sex, which was fine with him and with Matthew. They had fun playing games. Matthew couldn't help thinking how cute the twins were though.
When Jim left, Douglas and Scooter wondered what was going to happen to them. Once they got better at the language the Hakaanen were going to find permanent homes for them. For some of them the homes they were in would be their permanent one. Douglas knew that the group didn't need a leader any more, but he also knew they would need to be together at times. They were a family. In spite of the openess and friendliness of the Hakaan, the Earth boys were still of a different species from a different plantet. Douglas had lead Hakaanen men and boys as well as the Earth boys. He knew how the "Starkeeper" boys were being accepted by the Hakaanen. Only the Governor and his group seemed to have anything against them. Otherwise they were like heroes in the big valley.
The next day was going to be the ceremony for Jordan. It was going to be a Hakaan ceremony. Bandar, Hajo, Enghar, the Mayor, Enghar's dad, and the boys' teacher all had worked to help them understand the ceremony.
When evening came, the boys went to their own beds. The day had been quiet and safe, strangely different from what they were used to. Slowly adults were once again running their lives. Things were returning to quiet and "normal".
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The day of the ceremony some wagons and carriages took them into the country. They went up a winding road and then down into a forest. They came down into a small dell in the big valley. Douglas could see a huge amphitheater built into the ground off to one side. To the other side was a large wooden building, with six wooden towers soaring into the sky. It was one of the most beautiful buildings he had ever seen. The wood was stained reddish, and the red looked even redder with all the green trees around it.
"This our Temple," Bandar informed Scooter. We have a couple of smaller ones, but this one near Orkyl is the biggest. It was built for us to celebrate life and the God Jeswa."
"So it's a church," Scooter said. He used the English word church. His mind couldn't come up with a Hakaan word. He had wondered why he hadn't seen anything looking like a church in the Hakaan villages.
"I don't know the word," Bandar said. "This is our Temple of Life. We come here for special celebrations."
"But this isn't a celebration," Scooter said. "Jordan is dead. How can this be a celebration?"
"We celebrate Jorrdaan's life," Bandar said simply.
The ceremony was simple. Bandar, Hajo, Enghar, Mayor Andorn, and Enghar's father and mother were there along with all of the Earth boys. Misha and Kynon, the two brothers Jordan had lived with when they were in Awanstor were there along with their two dads. Some of the adults who had helped them by cooking food at the center were there. Douglas was surprised to see the Governor there. Douglas wondered about that considering what the Governor thought of them.
Everyone, including the Earth boys, was dressed in a white robe. Each robe had a colorful design or colorful trim on it. Some had both. The "Starkeeper" boys were able to help design their own robes, and they were quickly tailored for them. Some (like Travis's or Ryan's) were quite beautiful and artistic. Others (like Douglas and Mike) just had simple colored trim on the collar and the sleeves. Douglas was amazed that they dressed like this for their Temple "celebration". It really was almost like going to church, with everybody dressed up. It was one the rare times he had seen the Hakaan dressed.
A priest in a blue robe started the ceremony. He said a few words and then asked each person there to say something about Jordan. Scooter translated each short statement, including the one he made.
"Jordan wanted to be accepted and loved by all of us," Scooter said. "He gave his life for us and made us all see the love that was locked in his heart."
When Douglas's turn came he said, "Jordan taught me something. He taught me that to get someone's love and loyalty I have to give mine. That it is not a one way street. I told Jordan that I loved him, that we loved him. I am sad that he had to die to let all of us know that he loved us, too. All I can say now is the same thing. I love you, Jordan. We love you, Jordan. Thank you, Jordan."
Because every statement had to be short, the Governor's was too. "Like Dooglass, I learned something. The round ears have taught us all about love, honor, and loyalty. They have made a difference to all of us. The young one, Jorrdaan, helped to show us all that. Thank you all for being here for him."
Douglas wasn't sure if he was saying that because he meant it, or because the election was coming up, but it was nice to hear it. If what he said was true, then they were being fully accepted by the Hakaanen. And they would need that if they were going to spend the rest of their lives on Inferno.
The last part of the ceremony had those closest to Jordan pick up a lock of his hair. A number of locks were partly wrapped in paper. It was meant to be kept for life as a show of love. There were only six of them laid out. Mike, Douglas, Scooter, Alex, Matthew, and Travis each took one. Which boys were to receive them had been determined ahead of time. Douglas put his in the pocket of his gown.
After the ceremony they all went outside into a courtyard. There was food, drink, and music by a couple of Hakaanen who looked like they were in their older teens. Again, something good was said about Jordan while people ate. The Earth boys loved the Hakaan Celebration of Life. Because of it, they would always think of Jordan with love.
When it all ended they got in their wagons and carriages and rode back out of the dell. Douglas looked back at the beautiful setting and wondered when he would be back. He didn't know it would be in two weeks.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The next two days were quiet. School, homework, friends, eating, and sex filled the time. It was all starting to become routine. The adventure was over. Inferno was becoming home. It made the Earth boys both happy and sad.
Enghar asked Mycroff to meet him after school. Mycroff knew what it was going to be about. Enghar was going to give him his answer. Mycroff was nervous all day wondering what it would be. If not for Mattoo he was sure it would be yes. And even now he was pretty sure, because the way Mycroff saw it he was Enghar's only choice. They'd been friends since they were little, and Mattoo was a round ear after all. The Ceremony of the Soul, The Joining, would be happening in less than two weeks. It only happened every three months. He wanted this one, the first he was eligible for, to be his.
The end of the school day came and the two young Hakaan boys headed for Mycroff's house. They went to Mycroff's room and sat cross legged on his bed facing and touching each other.
"Enghar, my love of our youngness, have you reached your time of Deciding?" Mycroff had been practicing for this since he asked Enghar to be his Meshanna.
"Mycroff, my love of our youngness, I have."
"And what be that deciding?"
Enghar took a deep breath. "My Deciding is that I wish for now to be in your soul and heart, but I am not ready to be your Meshanna. I love you. You are a best friend beyond friends. But this is what I have decided." All the way they were taught to say it.
Mycroff half way expected this, but it still hurt. He knew he would have to talk this over with a teacher or maybe even a priest. He also knew that a refusal isn't final until one of them goes through a Joining, but he had a feeling in his heart that this one was final. He was afraid for a moment that he would never find a Meshanna, the worst thing which could happen to a Hakaan. Then he remembered that he was just twelve. And maybe, as much as he loved Enghar, it wasn't meant to be. But still, the decision wasn't final. Not yet, anyway.
Enghar kissed Mycroff and told him he loved him, because he did love him. Turning down his long time friend made him sad. But as much as he loved Mycroff, he knew that right now they weren't Meshannas, if for no other reason than Mycroff's constant chatter annoyed him.
Enghar went home and looked up Matthew. He jumped on him in bed and kissed him hard. One rule of the waiting period was no sex other than masturbation. He had followed that rule and now he wanted his Mattoo in the worst way. He got him just the way he wanted, up his firm ass, cementing his love for his round eared friend. They fell asleep in Matthew's bed. Matthew had no idea why Enghar didn't have sex with him for three days, and even less idea why he was so horny now. But right now, he didn't care.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The next day after school Enghar went to see his favorite teacher. He was also his teacher of Hakaan culture.
"Hi, Enghar. What can I do for you?"
"I have a problem, sir."
"Well, I'm ready to listen."
Enghar told him about Mycroff asking him to be his Meshanna and about him turning it down after the waiting period.
"I thought Mycroff looked kind of down today. Tell me what you can, Enghar."
So Enghar did, finishing with his love for Matthew He told the teacher how he wanted Matthew to be his Meshanna. He asked if it was okay. The teacher said first, he didn't know, he would have to ask a priest. And second, did Matthew understand what it was all about? And last, even if it was okay, Matthew might get found and go back to his home planet.
"I know," Enghar said sadly. "But I was told your Meshanna is your Meshanna for life and beyond no matter how far away he was. Maybe that would be the test to see if it was true.
The teacher told him to come back the next day after school and he would have some answers.
The next day Enghar showed up in the classroom. The teacher told him he needed to talk the priest and he would take him there. They went to the priest's house. The priest was wearing his long blue priest's robe, indicating he saw this as official religious business. Enghar and the teacher were both naked.
The priest proceeded to ask Enghar a lot of questions about Matthew and Mycroff and Enghar's feelings.
Finally he said, "The Joining, The Ceremony of Souls is next week. Of course that's too soon for you and Mattoo to decide anything. But sometime in a future Ceremony you two might do The Joining if it's what you both so wish. I hope to see you for The Joining interview some time in the future."
He started to get up but Enghar didn't move.
"Something else, young one?"
"What's the last day I can get the interview and be in this Ceremony?"
"It is a week from today. But this ceremony is too soon for you, young one."
"No, sir. You said he might get found and go home. If that happens I want him to be my Meshanna. It needs to be now, while I can do it."
"How does he feel? Does he even know what a Meshanna is?"
"He does, sir. Teacher and I have been helping him to know about it."
"I cannot tell you the right time to do The Joining. That is between you and your Meshanna. I can only give advice. My advice is wait. Now it is between you, Mattoo, and the God Jeswa."
Enghar knew this was the end of the talk, so he thanked the priest and left his office.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That night he told Matthew about why he hadn't had sex with him for three days. He told about Mycroff asking him to be his Meshanna. Matthew was understanding Hakaan pretty well now. When they couldn't understand each other they figured out a way. Matthew understood both Enghar's abstinence and his sudden incredible horniess.
"Do you love Mycroff?" Matthew asked.
"I love him. But I love you more." He hugged his Earth friend. "I don't want to ever lose you."
"You won't. I love you Engar." Matthew hugged him back hard.
Enghar got on his bed. He sat cross legged and pointed for Matthew to sit in front of him. Matthew got on the bed and sat in front of Enghar. They crossed their legs over each other. Then Enghar put his forehead against Matthew's.
Enghar looked into Matthew's eyes. He saw nothing but love. He started talking. "Mattoo, my love of our youngness, I ask you, with all my heart, all my soul, and all my spirit, to be my soulmate and my heart's love for life. I ask you to be my Meshanna."
Matthew gave his answer slowly. He hadn't had three years to memorize everything. Enghar had to help him with the words a couple of times, but he didn't care, because for him this was perfect. "Enghar, my love of my youngness, I answer your request by saying I will take into my heart, my mind, and my spirit your love and I will give you my answer at the time of decision." They kissed and slept together. After this night they couldn't sleep together again until the time of Deciding.
The next day in school, Teacher Modar helped Matthew learn the words of Deciding. He taught him both the words to accept and the words to decline. Matthew worked all day at memorizing them and learning what they meant. He also learned more about what The Joining was about so he would make the right decision. The Teacher told him that if in any way he wasn't sure he should decline. There was always the next Ceremony.
After school all the Earth boys talked about what Enghar had asked Matthew. None of them was very sure what it meant.
"How can Matthew get that close to an alien species?" Jeremy asked. "It's not right. He should be with one of his own. If he'd shown Jordan that kind of attention when he was around then maybe Jordan would still be alive.
We all know how Jordan felt about Matthew."
"That's a totally stupid thing to say, Jeremy," Alex said. "He is following his heart. And that is all that counts. If you follow your heart you can't go wrong. If Enghar is where his heart is, then he is doing the right thing. And as for Jordan, Matthew had nothing to do with Jordan's going to Robert Charles. He never had the feelings for Jordan that Jordan had for him Jordan never could see that. Jordan used Matthew then fell in love with him. But by then it was too late. Matthew had no feeling for Jordan. Jordan had ruined any chance he had of Mattew returning his love. Don't even begin to go that route, Jeremy."
Everyone agreed with Alex. Brett kept quiet, but he thought Jeremy was wrong on this one. Matthew had to follow his heart, like he had been doing.
That night Scooter and Douglas talked about it. Douglas was happy for Matthew. It was a start on all them becoming a part of their new home. But it also made Douglas sad. It was one more indication of how they probably would never see their own homes again.
The next day went by with Matthew saying little to Enghar. He was thinking hard if he wanted to do this. The rules said he could ask friends for advice, but the friend had to have a Meshanna already. And that meant Bandar, who was the only friend he had who met the requirements.
He called Scooter for help. Scooter talked Kallama into taking them to Awanstor to see Bandar. They took his "brother" Mike with them for support.
When they got there the three boys sat in Bandar's room.
Bandar and Hajo had been Meshannas for over a year. They both were just thirteen when they did The Joining. They had been sure of what they wanted for a long time, but they needed to wait until Hajo had his first wet orgasm. It was Bandar who had done the first asking. That was all they needed and they were Joined at the next ceremony. He told Matthew what it was like to be Joined, and what is like now that he was Meshanna with someone else. When they got older they wanted to live together, and right now they did almost everything together. He talked about what having a Meshanna meant, how they were linked mind, soul, and heart. He told Matthew to not say yes unless he was sure that fact was true, that he was ready to link with Enghar in mind, soul, and heart. If he had any doubt, he should wait at least for the next ceremony. He shouldn't rush it. But if he was totally sure, he shouldn't put if off either.
Matthew thanked him and the boys went back to Orkyl. When they got to Matthew's house Scooter gave him a hug. "I love you Matthew. We all love you. You will do the right thing for you.Follow your heart." Scooter gave Matthew a passionate kiss on the lips.
Mike looked at him "I guess I'm not allowed to give advice. But I just want to tell you what Alex likes to tell me, and what Scooter just told you; follow your heart.
Matthew thanked him and went to his room. He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He understood that once he went through with the Ceremony there was no turning back. He didn't understand it all like a Hakaan boy who had been studying about The Joining since he was little would understand it. He knew there was some kind of mental connection. He knew it was permanent and that it was religious in some way. He was sure that it was special beyond imagining. He knew that when a Hakaan picked a Meshanna it was a link that would never be broken. So, whatever he decided, he had to be completely sure it was what he wanted.
He thought about everything he had heard. It was all so confusing. Then he decided to think about Enghar. There was nothing confusing there. He felt a warm glow inside him. Mike was his brother and made him feel good. But Enghar did things to him he couldn't even begin to explain. Sometimes he thought he was learning the language so fast because there was almost a connection between him and his lover. He closed his eyes and felt the warmth inside him. He put his hand down on his hard boy cock thinking of Enghar. His entire mind and body was full of Enghar and nothing else. All of the confusion was gone. He knew what his answer would be.
The next evening he and Enghar sat face to face again. They were both incredibly hard. Their small cocks were straining, harder than either boy could ever remember.
"Mattoo, my love of our youngness, have you reached your time of Deciding?"
"Engar my love of our youngness, I have."
"And what be that Deciding?"
Matthew looked straight into Enghar's eyes. "My Deciding be that I wish to be in your heart, your soul, your mind forever. I want us to be one, no matter what happens with our lives. I want to be your Meshanna. I want you to be mine."
"Then let us be joined," Engar said.
The boys kissed. Then cried. Then made love.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The interview with the priest was the next day. The way the interview worked was the boys met together and then separately with the interviewers. Each of them got to pick their own interviewer, who along with a priest, would conduct the interview. There were rules here too. The interviewer had to have a Meshanna. He couldn't be a blood relative of either person applying for the Ceremony. And neither of them could have ever have had sex with the interviewer. Enghar picked Lettano, his dad's Meshanna. And Matthew, once again, picked the only person he really knew at all and that was Bandar.
First they were interviewed separately. Enghar pretty much knew how the interview would go and gave all the right answers. Matthew was told quickly what to expect, but it wasn't the same as studying about it since he was little. He answered the questions the best he could. He wanted Scooter to translate so it would go easier, but the priest said no, Mattoo had to do it alone, so everybody talked slowly for Matthew.
The questions were easier than he thought, except for a couple of them from the priest.
"Mattoo, do you as an outsider think you can truly be linked with a Hakaan? To know his mind and soul?"
Matthew had to think a second. His heart was pounding. He wanted to be Enghar's Meshanna badly. He knew being turned down in an interview was rare, and they could always try again, but he wanted this now!
"I know I can with Engar. I love him. All of him, mind, body, heart, and soul."
Bandar smiled. A perfect answer.
"And what if you get found and go back to your home planet and your own family? If you were separated from you Meshanna?"
This time Matthew didn't hesitate. "My Meshanna will always be with me no matter where we are."
Bandar smiled again. The priest thanked him and called Enghar in. They were asked some questions together. They were pretty much the same questions as before. The priest asked them if they were sure they didn't want to wait. They hadn't known each other long. Most Meshannas had known each other a long time before The Joining.
Enghar answered that when you know, you know. And they knew. The priest told them both to wait outside his office and he would talk with the other two. Matthew sat and held hands with Enghar. After about five minutes the priest came out.
"You know that today was the last day to apply for The Joining." It wasn't a question.
"Yes," Enghar said.
"So you two will be the last two Joined at next Ceremony. Congratulations."
Enghar and Matthew turned and hugged each other. Bandar, Lettano, and the priest smiled. The day of the Ceremony would be a big day for them and for all the round ears.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The next four days went by fast. The evening of the fourth day Matthew had to stay someplace other than Enghar's. From sundown until the ceremony Meshannas couldn't see each other, couldn't have sex, couldn't drink alcohol, couldn't even jerk off. Matthew stayed with Scooter and Douglas. He was so nervous he couldn't sleep, and neither could Enghar. The next morning they headed for the ceremony at the Temple in the woods. This time everybody sat in the amphitheater, and it was packed. The day of the Ceremony of the Souls was a Hakaan holiday and everybody came to it, because almost everybody knew somebody who was being Joined, and even if they didn't, it was still a major part of their culture. In the Big Valley, everyone was linked. There were going to be ten Joinings. They were to be in the order that they were approved. By the time the first Joinings were done, the Earth boys had a good idea of what was going on.
The first Joining was two eighteen year old girls. Then two fourteen year old boys. Two fifteen year old girls, thirteen year old boys, sixteen year old girls, a fourteen year old boy and a twelve year old boy, a fifteen year old boy and a fourteen year old boy, and finally and seventeen year old girl and a fourteen year old girl. The Earth boys found the ceremonies interesting and erotic. Finally it was time for the last one. They had a pretty good idea how it was going to go, but this one was going to be extra interesting.
There was a drum roll, then a call from a horn, and Enghar was asked came onto the stage in the middle of the amphitheater. Like everybody there, he was wearing his robe, white with red and blue trim and designs. He called his biological parents to come down. In this case it was the parents he lived with. He called down their Meshannas who sat with them, all on benches at the front of the stage. If his parents had partners they would come next. Then would come brothers and sisters and partners' kids. Then he called down other adults he knew, like teachers and neighbors.
Next he asked his friends to sit on the benches on the right side. This included Mycroff, who came down sadly. He wanted this to be his ceremony, and now Enghar was lost to him forever. A person only ever had one Meshanna in a lifetime For Mycroff, it wouldn't be Enghar.
Enghar thanked them all for being at the ceremony and coming down to the stage. He bowed to them all. He thanked his parents for bringing him into the world. He thanked his friends for being wonderful to him. He thanked Mycroff for being an understanding best friend. Then he called for the one who agreed to be his Meshanna.
Matthew stepped out on the stage looking beautiful. His robe was eggshell white with gold and blue trim. A blue and green planet like Earth was sewn over his left breast. The "Starkeeper" boys were all proud of him. Even though his cast had been recently removed, he still hobbled some, but nobody cared or really even noticed. He was stunning.
He had Enghar's parents stand up as his own, something that happens in the Joining sometimes. He had some adults come down, like the nurse who was with him when he woke up, and the man who found him buried in the desert. Then he called his friends down to sit on the left side of the stage. That meant all of the Earth boys who came down proudly and sat on the benches, as well as Bandar and his Meshanna..
Matthew thanked Enghar's parents for making him part of their family. He thanked the man for saving him. He thanked Douglas for leading them to the big valley and finding them a home.
Then a quiet theme played and the two boys met in the middle. They kissed.
"Mattoo, my love of my youngness, I want you as my Meshanna. My soulmate. My love in my heart, mind, and soul, forever. Please be mine."
"Engar, my love of my youngness, I want you as my Meshanna. My soulmate. My love in my heart, mind, and soul, forever. Please be mine."
The priest came out and handed each a small glass of the juice of the Mashan root. Only a priest knew how to make the juice, which contained a powerful drug. They each took some in their mouth and kissed, mixing the juice between their mouths. Then they swallowed.
The music edged up some. Enghar removed Matthew's robe. He was now standing in front of the huge amphitheater naked. It's a good thing I've been getting used to being naked in public, he thought. Then he removed Enghar's robe. The two boys stood naked and kissed, making sure their dicks touched.
Then the priest put a large black and white striped blanket around them, covering both of the kissing boys.
The speaker for both boys came up and told why they should become Meshannas.
A boy could choose anybody he wanted to be a speaker. Enghar picked his father, because he knew them both so well. Matthew picked Mike, his "brother". Scooter translated for Mike. Mike was proud to have been the one chosen.
"What a great time this is. Boys from two species and two different planets able to love each other like this. Matthew is like a brother to me and I've never seen him happier. He is the first of us to become a part of the wonderful culture on our new home." It hurt to say the words "new home" but it was true, and over the last week all the boys had really come to realize it. "I wish him and Engar happiness and good luck." Mike sat back down, his heart thumping. He was glad Matthew had chosen him, but in some ways he wished he had chosen Douglas. Speaking in front of a huge crowd was not his thing. He also was at glad he was wearing his robe.
Enghar's dad told what fine boys they both were and how Mattoo and Enghar had bonded almost instantly when Enghar met the sick and injured Matthew in the hospital. From there they had only become closer. He too wished them happiness and good luck.
The priest then intoned, "In the name of the God Jeswa, I name you Meshannas." He took the blanket and turned it over. The other side was gray. "Like the stripes on this blanket becoming one color, your souls and minds and hearts are now one. Being a Meshanna is for life and beyond and is never ended by distance, partners, or death. Is this what you both wish?"
"It is," both boys said together.
The priest gave them another glass of Mashan juice, and once again they shared the juice between their mouths and swallowed. Both boys were now completely lost in each other. For both of them the crowd was gone, the people on the stage were gone, the amphitheater was gone, as the powrful drug of the Mashan root worked on their minds. The only things in the world were each other. They kissed. The priest removed the robe. Their small cocks were now hard and rubbing against each other. Matthew had never felt anything like it. His entire being was focused on the beautiful boy in front of him, his sensitive and sexy pointed ears, his soft silky mane, his gorgeous thick hair, his dark eyebrows, his dark eyes so full of love. The huge crowd in the amphitheater had ceased to exist. Only Enghar existed. He rubbed harder against Enghar and Enghar rubbed back. Enghar saw the wonderful rounded ears, the light brown hair that never seemed to lay down right, the smooth maneless back, the brown eyes so full of love. Somewhere they thought they heard music, but they couldn't be sure. There was nothing in the world but the two of them.
Enghar, Ost Lesha Drey.
Matthew, Ost Lesha Drey.
And for the first time, the words I Love You echoed in the minds of new Meshannas.
Their minds seemed to echo with the thoughts of their soon to be Meshanna. They kissed and rubbed, the only things in their universe being the boy in front of them and their own cocks. Suddenly, Matthew screamed with delight and shot his sweet clear boy cum over Enghar. Right after, Enghar did the same over Matthew. They both felt ready to collapse, leaning against each other, falling to their knees. The priest took each of his index fingers, ran it through the warm wet cum on both boys and had each of them lick a finger, tasting their mixed cum.
"You are now Meshannas," the priest told them. The crowd cheered. The priest helped the boys to their feet and helped them off the stage. The music rose in volume. The boys' friends and family followed them off stage.
The Ceremony of the Soul was over. They were Joined.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It took about a half hour for the effect of the Mashan juice to wear off. By that time the amphitheater was empty and the large park around the temple and the theater was filled. A band was playing, food booths were set up, different kinds of acts and shows were going on. Matthew and Enghar met in a tent with the other new Meshannas for pictures, in and out of their robes.
Then they put their robes away and took each other's hands and walked through the crowd. There were people everywhere. Almost the entire big valley was there. People stopped them to congratulate them. The Hakaan seemed to think it was wonderful that Enghar picked a round ear to be his Meshanna. It meant that the galaxy wasn't so huge after all if they could connect like that with another species.
Mike had told them all to be at the music stand at 2:00. Douglas and Scooter were standing there sharing a Bestatto pie together. It was a sweet fruity pie in a thick crust that they had learned to love. They were being baked fresh at a festival booth. Pretty soon Mike and Jim showed up. Mike had a meat pie, a lot like a pizza. Jim was drinking fruit juice. There was plenty to eat. The band that was up there stopped playing and everybody clapped. They left the stage.
Then two musicians came onto the stage. Douglas's jaw dropped when he saw it they were Alex and Stevie. They started playing their Hakaan instruments, making beautiful music. They sang songs they knew in English, but the sounds of the instruments made them sound different. Word soon got out who was playing and the crowd began to grow.
"You knew they were doing this," Douglas said to Mike. "But you never told us."
"They wanted to keep it a secret and make it a surprise. They've been practicing like crazy and Jim and I have been able to listen to them every day. Talk about lucky. They are so awesome."
The music had the crowd swaying and clapping. Some of them got on the dance stage between where they were standing and the music stage and danced. Douglas and Scooter finished their pies and got on the stage and danced. Matthew and Enghar joined them. There were dancers on the stage, dancers in the crowd, people clapping everywhere. Stevie and Alex had them going. They were adding beats and sounds that the Hakaanen had never heard before. The crowd was growing. Douglas almost thought they should've been in the amphitheater. Stevie and Alex were playing them music like they had never heard before.
After a few songs, they stopped and added a surprise. The band that had played before them came back on the stage. They both played some songs together. This was a surprise even for Mike and Jim. The crowd loved it all. When the time for the band was up they yelled for more. The whole band played a song then Stevie and Alex played one. The band announced they would do a concert and dance in the future and everybody cheered. They left the stage and the crowd broke up.
When Alex and Stevie joined the group they both got a lot of hugs.
"That was so awesome," Douglas said. "It was better than the 'Starkeeper' concert. You had everybody going."
"It went okay," Alex said. "We just gave them some new beats and chords and tempos. The seemed to like new sounds. We can play better, but we weren't totally used to the instruments."
"Well, I don't care, it was the best music I ever heard, love," Mike said with a smile and a hug.
The boys walked around the festival area eating, drinking, playing games, and taking in the sights. They stopped by Mayor Andorn's election booth and wished him luck. They didn't stop by the Governor's. Next week was a big week. The election was happening, and Robert Charles's trial was starting.
But for today no one cared. It was a time for celebrating. They all made sure to hug Enghar and Matthew. They even found and hugged some of the other new Meshannas, just like a lot of the Hakaan were hugging Matthew and Enghar. It looked like the Earth boys were being accepted by the Hakaan. Matthew, the one who made first contact, had a lot to do with that. His love for his Meshanna was obvious, and that had a lot to do with the Hakaan accepting all of them. Plus, Douglas taking charge and saving the Building of Life and going after the Shkah also helped.
Douglas could see that everyone seemed happy. That their new home made them happy. They were accepted by the Hakaan, some of them were loved, and they all would have permanent homes soon. If everything is so wonderful, Douglas thought, then why do I keep getting this empty feeling inside me?
After going their own way for a while the boys met at a food tent. They were serving Balfalla, which was similar to barbecued ribs. While they were chowing down Bandar and Hajo joined them along with a friend of their named Kenrod. Scooter did the translating, though Matthew was able to do some too.
Kenrod was talking to the group.
"Yeah, I heard if they don't do something, it's orbit will fail and it will hit the atmosphere and burn up."
"What will?" Douglas asked.
"The starship that brought us the news of the epidemic on Hakaan. It was sent here on auto pilot. I heard that the orbit it was parked in will be gone soon."
"Wait," Douglas said, "you mean there is a starship up there?"
"Yes, At least for maybe a couple more months."
"Why don't they try to save it?"
"What for? It only had one trip programmed in it. And nobody knows how to fly it anyway. Besides, how would anybody get to it?"
"That's easy," said Bandar. "The big hangers at the airport each have a shuttle in them. They haven't flown in 25 years. I doubt they could fly even if somebody knew how to fly them."
"I guess they have it figured out that when it burns and crashes it will land in the southern hemisphere somewhere, so it won't be any danger to us," Hajo said.
A ship, Douglas thought, and a way to get to it. So what if they all said neither shuttle could fly. What everybody said couldn't be done hadn't stopped them yet. Maybe, just maybe, they weren't stuck on Inferno for life. Douglas saw an image of his parents and smiled. Maybe I have one more place to lead them, he thought., and that place is home.
NEXT CHAPTER 41 "Everybody Walked Away"
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you enjoyed the look at Hakaan culture, as well as the Joining of Matthew and Enghar. The question now is, will Douglas and his gang of round eared boys find a way to return home?
Constructive comments are welcomed. E-mail me, Douglas DD, at TheHakaanen@Hotmail.com