Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I do not know the sexual orientation of any of the celebrities who will be appearing in the story.
WARNING: The character does not have a happy life and will not have very many happy events in his life. If this kind of stuff bothers you, I do not recommend reading. Otherwise, enjoy.
The Shadow created by Street and Smith, Walter B. Gibson. Copyright Advance Magazine Publishing Inc.
Author's email address: authorjames2002@yahoo.com
Chapter 12 From The Damage, Charades
After the fiasco that was Nick Carter, the Shadow second-guessed whether he should continue this line of 'work'. With O-Town coming in as the final act, did he dare give in to the part that believed they could be threatened by the same power that went after the boys from the A-Teens? Nothing really showed up with Nick Carter, except his obsession with mysterious masked men. Aside from his fetish of his boyfriend wearing a mask sometimes when they had sex, there was nothing out of the ordinary with Nick. Maybe whatever happened with the A-Teens was isolated only with those two. Still, he had nothing better to do, so why not check it out.
The Shadow decided to do some reconnaissance so when they arrived he headed out to their public events. He didn't wear the Shadow costume since the events were in broad daylight. Plus, he would be able to get closer wearing normal clothes. He didn't believe himself to be the best looking person in the city. He didn't believe he was the best looking person in the world, either. His looks were rather special in that many could consider him hideous. No one bothered to look at him. Besides, it was much easier looking like everyone else than wearing the costume and trying to sneak around hotels to get information.
The plane landed and Eric McCoy disembarked. As he exited the docking bay, he found himself face to face with Robert Lakewind. He did not, however, recognize the face of the red-head with him.
"Hi, Robert," Eric replied as he approached.
"Hi, Eric." The two hugged. "Let me introduce you to my boyfriend, Roy Harper."
"Nice to meet you, Roy," Eric replied. "Let me get my bags and we can discuss this person you told me on the phone about."
Once Eric got his bags, the three got into a cab and it took them to Robert and Roy's apartment. On their way, Robert explained the situation.
"This guy has serious issues, Eric. He's out of touch with reality. He sees things that aren't there."
"Meaning, he's paranoid," Roy added.
Eric nodded. "Have you tried talking to him?"
"We have. There's nothing to reason with. He doesn't let anyone in. It's so annoying."
"I know someone like that," Eric replied without going into too much detail.
They arrived at the apartment. "I hope you don't mind. All we have is the sofa bed."
"It will be perfect," Eric said. Placing his things in an inconspicuous corner, he turned to the two young lovers. "Where do I find this guy?"
Roy looked over at Robert and then back at Eric, smiling.
The Shadow thought about the words Nick and Derrick spoke to him, about this size relative to everyone else's. It hurt him, as it would hurt most men. He felt as if judgment were passed on his adequacy as a man. Whether or not it was true was irrelevant. His feelings remained.
The youth arrived at the park where the group came on stage to announce their presence to the crowd. Everyone screamed as the group waved to cheering fans. Our hero felt compelled to get closer, without knowing why, so he worked his way closer to the stage. As he got closer, people pushed him aside as if he weren't there. The few people that did look at him contorted their faces into looks of disgust and then turned back to their companions. The youth just shook his head and moved on.
Jacob looked at the crowd and waved. He never got used to the screaming fans no matter how often he heard them. Dan and Ashley seemed to be in their glory, as was the other two. He also never got used to the feelings and motives behind the screams. Those had the reverse effect. People didn't care who he was or what he was on the inside. All they cared about was the outside, the physical appearance of them.
Jacob had known those feelings with his past boyfriends. All they cared about were his looks and bank account. They always wanted to have sex and shop and go out with him to be seen in public. When he would suggest they stay in and just relax, the men would wonder if something was wrong with him. None of it would last.
The youth thought about how the world didn't see him on the inside. All anyone ever seemed to care about was his outside, how ugly and disgusting it was. People around him always felt that way. And he would put on airs that he didn't care. But he did.
Both the singer and the youth felt a strange sensation and in their minds words formed to a melody that only they could hear.
Jacob: I'm all dressed up in my finest attitude
Pretending I don't care.
Shadow: Guess I really messed up by trying to be two,
When only one heart can be there.
Both: Why can't I be just what I am,
Jacob: And speak my love without any shame?
Both: Why can't they see what I am,
Shadow: Is a costumed fool trapped in a tragic game?
Both: Charades and pretty lies
They hide what's deep inside me.
Charades do disguise
All that I keep inside me.
Charades! Can't see me,
But can you feel the real me,
The real me behind my charades?
Jacob: Oh, please don't mind me,
Performing at my hardest
As I paint upon the air.
Shadow: You won't find me
Cause it's a portrait of the artist
As a man who isn't there.
Both: Charades and pretty lies
They hide what's deep inside me.
Charades do disguise
All that I keep inside me.
Charades! Can't see me,
But can you feel the real me,
The real me behind my charades?
Can't you feel the real me,
Behind my charades?
Have I lost the real me,
Behind my charades?
Out of the corner of his eye, Jacob saw a young man standing in the shadows, seemingly oblivious to those around him. Jacob could tell the young man felt out of place and alone. But he could also sense something else within him. The young man looked up and their eyes met and instantly Jacob could see a troubled soul that just wanted to be free of the trappings of this world. The singer could relate. The world seemed to trap him, as well.
And he sensed that the youth was genuine in who he was. He wasn't putting on airs or vying to get any attention from anyone. He seemed humbled somehow. That appealed to Jacob. And the singer found himself growing attracted to the youth. The youth appeared attractive to the singer.
The youth saw how Jacob was looking at him, felt what Jacob was feeling, that somehow, despite his ugliness, the singer felt something for him.
'But why?' he thought. 'What do I have that he could possibly be attracted to?'
Feeling uncomfortable, the Shadow left the park and headed back toward the gymnasium...
'I hope I see him again,' Jacob thought.
...where he found Robert, Roy and a mysterious, bald, slightly disfigured man waiting for him. Jonesy found him as he entered the door and told him about his three friends. The Shadow replied that he would use that phrase loosely and went toward his room where the three were standing.
"Hi," Robert said with a slight smile. "I want to introduce to you my friend, Eric McCoy. Eric, this is..."
"An acquaintance," the Shadow replied. "What can I help you with?"
"Actually, I was wondering if there is anything I can do for you."
"What makes you say that?"
Eric looked over at Robert and then back at the youth. "Can we talk someplace a bit less public?"
The youth shrugged and opened the door to his room where all four entered. Eric looked around at the Spartan decor and turned back to the youth.
"What's this about?" the youth said defensively.
"Robert told me you've been acting distant. I can understand that. I did it once myself. But Robert's concerned for you."
"Well, Robert shouldn't go and put his nose where it doesn't belong."
"He's only worried about you."
"Like hell he is. No one worries about me because no one gives a fuck about me!"
To Be Continued...