Date: November 18, 2001 Author: Alex _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________
Copyright (c) 2001 All Rights Reserved 2001. _____________________________________________________________
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Disclaimer: The story you are about read contains gay erotic experiences. So, if you are not of legal age or your country, religion, moral universe etc., consider this writings to be perverse, then I suggest that you should find something else to read. And, if you should decide to read this type of literature, neither this site nor the author will be held accountable for your actions. _____________________________________________________________
Author's Note: This is my 1st story. I hope you all like it. Please E-mail me with all your comments, criticism (constructive or destructive), or anything at all, just send away. My e-mail address is lolomgwtfisthat@aol.com. I will not make a chapter 2 if I don't have enough comments so if you really like this 1st chapter, you better e-mail me. _____________________________________________________________
The Sessions Chapter One
It's 2:53 a.m. I haven't been able to sleep lately. I haven't been able to go to sleep for the last 3 days. It's all because of what I figured out last Saturday. I can't be this way. It can't be. I need to look at myself. I walk up to my mirror. There I am, the same old me, same old 16 year old, 6 foot, 138 lbs., brown hair/eyes me. It's normal old me. I hate the way I look. I really can't see how I can attract the girls I do. Why can't I just like them back as much as they like me? I can't stand myself. I can't. I just hate the way I am.
I go back to my bed, and start thinking of things that has happened. It's been hell these last few days. I've been crying a lot. Mom pretends to be caring but I know that she's only acting. Gina has been calling me wondering what's wrong with me. I don't know. What day is it today? I look at my calendar. It's Tuesday. I hate Tuesdays. That means I have to baby-sit that brat Joey at 6 o'clock. He is 6-year-old devil. I wish I had to baby-sit some other child that actually obeyed what I told it to do. I have no control over the thing. Somehow, thinking of that forsaken child, I fall asleep, a hard, restless sleep.
My alarm clock is going off. The noise is so annoying. I look at the clock. It's 7:30 a.m. One hour till school starts. I get up and drag myself to the bathroom only in my boxers. I take my usual morning shower, brush my teeth, put in my contacts, put gel in my hair, and put on my favorite pair of jeans with all the holes and my most comfortable shirt. I go downstairs to the kitchen. I can smell what my mom is cooking. My mom made the usual: eggs, toast, and bacon with orange juice. It's bland as I expected. Mom is trying to talk to me about school but I never talk to her in the mornings. She never gets the hint.
"CJ, go to the car. We are about to go drop you off. I'm late for work so hurry up."
I do as my mom tells me to do. I really want to go to school. I wait there for a couple of minutes wishing that she would trust me enough to buy me a car and that she would hurry up a little. She comes out with her usual things, her purse, her briefcase, her cell, her pager, and her laptop computer. She puts the key in the ignition and off we go.
"Did you do your homework?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Good, I don't want anymore calls from your teachers telling me that you are failing anymore of your classes."
"Yes, Ma'am."
For the rest of the drive, we stay silent. My mom always tries to help me out and give me advice. I don't like it when she tries to do these things for me. For one thing that I know, she wouldn't do that if she knew my secret that I figured out. The secret that almost made me go over the edge and do something stupid. It's dark and ugly. My secret is that I'm gay. If she knew that I was gay, she would throw me out of her life in a second. She hates all gays. She tells me stories of gays and what she has done to them. Those stories make me shake and want to cry whenever I think of them. I won't ever tell her my secret, ever. No one knows the truth about me, and no one is ever going to. I have lots of friends but I'll just put the face that I'm straight. They will never know.
I have a girlfriend at school, her name is Jessica. She's 16, 5 foot 2, red hair, pale, loud, wants to know everything and has to know. I wish that I loved her as much as she loves me. I only like her as much as I can, only like a friend. I want to break up but it will break her heart. It would make me feel worse and make me hate myself more than I already do. It was bad saying yes to her letters.
Mom drops me off at the front of my school finally. Ellison High School, this places sucks. The trailer trash of all schools. I'm a junior here. I need to go find Gina. I know where she is. She always waits for me at the front. As I walk to the front, Gina, my best friend, comes screaming and hugs me at the spot. She's the only girl that I like. We have a lot in common but also we are very different. Jessica thinks that I may be cheating on her with Gina but that would never happen. If I just had been straight, maybe I would have cheated on Jessica.
"Hi CJ, how are you this great morning?"
"The usual, you."
"Great, of course."
Morning people, they make me sick. I don't know how she can be this cheerful this early in the morning. We walk into the school saying hi to people as we go to our 1st hour class. We have the same class, AP Biology. It's hard but I like it. Gina always wants to copy my homework because the only things that she is interested in the class are the boys. I give her my homework as usual. The bell rings and in comes our teacher, Dr. Childs. He is a great teacher and I love his class. We start taking notes about microfilaments within a cell when there is a knocking on the door. Dr. Childs goes and opens the door. In comes in the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on. He's around 6 foot 3, 158 lbs. I presume, blond hair, piercing blue eyes, muscular, and wearing clothes that fit him perfectly showing every fluid motion of his muscles as he moves. I immediately punish myself for thinking such thoughts. Why am I like this? I can see that Gina is going gaga over him already. So typical of her. He hands Dr. Childs his schedule.
"Class, it seems that we have a new student in our class, Mr. Micheal Christ. Please sit behind Kisha."
Good, he sits on the other side of the room. He is so beautiful. NO, stop thinking like that. I can't concentrate on taking the notes. Through the rest of the class period, I try my best not to stare but I can't stop. Before I know it, the class is over. Gina is looking at me funny, wonder why? I hope that Micheal is not in some of my other classes.
Second hour is band. I'm in the top band and I play the trumpet. I'm pretty good at playing. Nothing interesting ever happens during class. I'm happy that I don't have Micheal in this class. He would be so tempting. No, why can't I be normal? Don't think thoughts like that. All I can hear is his voice. All I can see is his face. I can't stop thinking of him at all. The whole class goes by in a blur. The bell rings. On to 3rd, computer applications, the most boring class in history. Gina sits next to me in this class and is already in there trying to do her work when I get in the class. I do well in the class. Just do my work and he won't enter my thoughts.
"Oh my God, I can't stop thinking of hunky Micheal. I heard that he likes to be called Mikey. Isn't that cute? I can just do him right there in front of everyone. He is soooo hot. Umm, CJ, I saw you staring at him the whole class period when you were supposed to be doing your notes. So, do you like him too? Hmmm," said Gina as if she was telling me her phone number.
"W-W-What?! What are you talking a-about? I wasn't s-s-staring at Micheal one bit."
"Sure, whatever. If you are gay, it's Ok with me. We could go to the mall and scope out guys together and shop for clothes. We would have so much more fun. So, tell me, are you gay CJ?"
"Of c-course not, how can you ever ask that?! I have a girlfriend, remember. I like her very much."
"Ok, whatever, so why have I heard that you have never kissed her and you have been going out with her for 3 months? Huh?"
Shit! Shit! Shit! Why does this have to happen to me?
"It's none of your damn business. Whatever Jessica and I do is personal."
"Yes it is, we'r ... Oh my God, Micheal is in our class! The Gods love me, thank you Jesus!"
I look over my shoulder at Mr. Smallwood's desk and there is Micheal standing there. He looks my way and hands his schedule over to Mr. Smallwood.
"Ah hum. Mr. Christ, go sit where ever you want. I'll get your password in a just a second."
Micheal chooses the computer right next to mine. I can't believe my luck. Why? Oh well, I don't have to talk to him when he sits next to me. Just need to look busy and he won't bother me one bit.
"Hey, aren't you in my 1st hour class?"
No, No, NO! Why does he have to talk to me? Can't he see that I'm busy?
"Yeah, I'm in your 1st period class. Your name is... um, Micheal, right?"
"Well, I like to be called Mikey to tell the truth. What's your name?"
"My name is CJ Hess. Oh, this is Gina Islas."
"Hi, Mikey," said Gina.
"Hi there Gina, so, anyway, I like your name CJ."
"Thanks, I guess..."
That's odd. Finally Mr. Smallwood gives him his password. I'm getting hot. He is making me very nervous. I look towards Gina. Why is Gina looking at me that way? I think that she may know. Why? I can't handle this. I need to go home. Only lunch and 4th hour left. Class needs to end quick.
"So, where do you live?"
"W-Why do you want to know?"
"I find you interesting."
Why would someone say that, especially since he's a boy.
"You don't even know me."
"I can get to know you."
Oh my goodness, is he hitting on me? No, it's just my imagination.
"OK... I live in the HeatherGlen neighborhood."
"You do! I just moved there in the new houses they just made!"
This can't be happening to me. This Adonis lives in my neighborhood. I can't think that way. I'm not that way. Why am I like this? Can't class be over with? I look back over at Gina. Now I know that Gina is looking at me strangely. Why is she looking at me that way? This is freaking me out. You can handle it CJ.
"That's good."
"Yeah, which bus do you ride? I ride bus 702."
"I ride bus 702 also."
Oh gosh, now I wish that my mom were able to pick me up in the afternoon. I don't know if I will be able to handle him. I don't want him sitting next to me on the bus. Have to get on quick then.
"Umm, I need to work, Ok?"
"Oh, Ok."
Finally, I'm able to work in peace. I hate spreadsheets though. Why did I ever choose this class in the 1st place?
Wow, only 3 minutes to the bell and I can go to lunch. I hardly even noticed Mikey except for his wonderful blue eyes and long blond hair. Stop thinking that way! I don't like him. No. No. No. I look over to Gina. Oh no, Gina is still looking at me funny. What's her problem? I don't know. I have no idea.
YES! The bell, it's time to go eat some nasty school food. Gina is still acting funny. Need to know why.
"Um Gina, why were you acting strangely in class? You were quiet, you usually talk your head off in that class."
"Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking."
"Thinking of what?"
"Of how you and me being attracted to the same boy can bring some problems up."
"W-W-WHAT?! What did you say?"
"You heard me. But it's ok; I would love to have a gay friend. I guess you just aren't ready to be out of the closet yet. Tell me when you are ready so we can scout out guys! I have dibs on Mikey though."
"You are c-crazy! I'm not gay!"
"Sure you're not. What are you going to eat today? Rack of clay or smush salad."
What?! We are already in the cafeteria. How did we get here so quickly? Yuck! All the food looks like barf. I really don't want to eat anything. It all looks nasty. I guess the rack of clay will do.
"I think rack of clay."
"Me too."
"Hey, this rack of clay isn't that bad," said Gina.
"Are your taste buds dead or something? This stuff tastes like crap."
"How would you know?" said Jessica.
Jessica is such a smart alec. She just wants to know everything right now. We don't have any classes together so we usually spend our lunches together, thank goodness. The only good thing about her is her looks. Too bad we are not meant to be. Speaking of the devil, here comes Mikey. What will I do? I need to go. I grab my backpack and put my tray of food in the trash.
"Hey guys, I have to do some homework for 1st so if you need me, I'll be in the library. Ok?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Bye, love you," said Jessica.
"No prob., see you there maybe," said Gina.
"Hey everyone, where did CJ go running off to? I saw him sitting here a few seconds ago."
"He went to the library," said Jessica "He had to do some homework for his 1st hour class."
"That's great! I needed some help with mine; maybe he can help me with mine. See you ladies later. Bye."
"Bye," said the girls in unison.
Finally, I am alone and I can think things through. That was close with Mikey. Even though he seems like a nice guy, my attraction to him is making me nuts. Why can't I be normal? Oh well, maybe this is a phase and I will be normal in a couple of days. I know that won't happen but at least it's something I can look forward to now a days. Nooo, what is Mikey doing in the library for? Maybe if I look like I'm interested in this book, he will be discouraged to come to me. I put the book that I had in front of me up to hide my face to seem like I was reading it. I think he's goin... nope, here he comes. Stay calm.
"Hey CJ, what's up?"
"What's up?"
"This girl with red hair told me that you were at the library doing homework. So, I decided to come here and keep you company. Also, I need some help with my homework so I guessed that you would help me since you were doing yours also. So, will you help me?"
"Oh, that's Jessica. Yeah, I can h-help you I guess. What do you need help with?"
"Everything. I don't understand one bit of what Dr. Childs said today in class. Did you?"
"Yeah, I did. Well, let us get started."
It's amazing that I caught one word of Dr. Childs in today. Looking at that angelic face can make me so... No! I have to stop thinking this way. I don't like Mikey that way one bit. Who am I kidding? I can't even convince myself of that.
"Thanks man, this is a great help."
"No prob."
"Oooooh, I finally understand. Thanks buddy, you're a great help. I can do the rest at home. Thanks," said Mikey.
"Like I said before, no prob."
"What street do you live on? I live on Ashley Dr."
"Hey, you live really close to me. I live 3 streets away from you on Grey Fox Trl."
"Wow, that is close. Hey, here's my number. Call me, I don't have many friends. If you are not busy, that is."
Oh my goodness, he just gave me his number. I can't believe this. What am I going to do? I'll can't call him, what will I say? I don't want to sound like a complete fool. Why does he have to tease me this way? Can't he tell that I have enough trouble without him complicating everything? Is that the bell? Thank goodness, I can't stand being here with him. It's torture. I put all my stuff in my backpack and stand up.
"Well, that's the bell. See you tomorrow."
"Hey, what is your next class?"
"AP Psychology"
"I have PE. Well, call me Ok. Bye."
"Bye."
I'm finally home. I'm glad someone sat with me on the bus before Mikey could. I could see that he wanted to sit with me. I feel sorry for him. No I don't. He makes me feel bad and I don't like that. But, what if he's gay too? No, that can't happen. Someone that good looking has to be straight. But maybe... Why am I thinking this way? I hate this! I HATE this! Why can't I be straight like all the normal people? I'm not going to call him. It would tear my heart to pieces. I know what I need, some naked pictures of women. I look under my mattress and find my only magazine. Look at those tits. They are nice, big, and everything a guy wants. Look at her pussy. You could do her all day. Why can't I get hard and enjoy this stuff? I don't want to be gay. I never asked to be this way. Why am I crying? I hate this! The telephone is ringing. I need to stop crying and answer. I pick up the reciever.
"H-Hello"
"CJ, this is Gina. How are you?"
"I'm d-doing fine."
"Your nose is all stuffy, have you been crying?"
"No, no I haven't. I think I'm coming down with a cold."
She knows me so well. Why does she have to care so much about me?
"Well, I called saying that I believe you when you say that you aren't gay and I want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Ah, Gina, you didn't have to do that. Thanks."
"I wanted to. I saw how bad I made you feel and I have a guilty conscious. That's all I have to say."
"Ok, you just made me feel better."
"Ahhh, well, See you in the same place tomorrow in the morning! Bye."
"Bye."
I look at the clock. It's 5:49. Almost time to baby-sit demon child. I put the phone back on the base. I'm happy that I convinced her that I'm not gay. Now I need to convince myself that I'm not...
Well that's it. Hope you liked my 1st story. Send me all your remarks and feedback at lolomgwtfisthat@aol.com. Remember, If you want a chapter two, then please send me some feedback or I will get discouraged and won't do another story. Thanks.
~Alex