The Secret Memories of Lord Moriesson

THE SECRET MEMORIES OF LORD MORIESSON By Andrej Koymasky © 2010 Written on July 27, 2002 Translated by the Author English text kindly revised by Brian

USUAL DISCLAIMER

"THE SECRET MEMORIES OF LORD MORIESSON" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.

Chapter 2 - How a gentle outlaw made me understand my real nature

For one year my sexuality was limited to solitary pleasure. But from my notes one thing shows clearly, even though at that time I was not aware - in them more and more often there are descriptions of men that I admired and who struck me in some way, for their gait, their manners, for their physical aspectÉ There was nothing explicitly sexual but reading those pages again now, I can feel they are pervaded by a subtle, and discrete, but undoubted sensuality, each time I lingered on their descriptions.

Also while I was giving myself solitary pleasure, exploring my body with the hand that was free from that performance, I discovered that a certain way of touching myself, and in some parts of my body, were giving me a bigger pleasure among those practices that were almost daily done. I was, in a certain way, increasingly skilled in awakening the pleasure in my body that was perceptibly growing. But the act of masturbation was not yet coloured by any fantasy - it was as yet a purely physical act, even though increasingly refined.

It was the month of July. With my brother Charles, the first-born, who was at that time twenty years old, we went on horseback to Richmond to visit and bring our congratulations and best wishes to our Uncle Mathew Glendale Lord Shelbey and his spouse, who gave birth to a son. When we decided to make our way back, it was just beginning to get dark, and the weather was mild.

We were riding towards our house, crossing one of the poorest boroughs of London along the street that with a wide and shallow curve cut it almost in half. The street was still busy - men and women, old people and children, cats, dogs and pigs were creating a lively confusion. Calls, laughter, children games, noises of various activities were interweaving in the air, feeling somewhat festive and messy.

Charles and I were riding in the centre of the street, at a slow trot, he leading the way and I behind him as in that confusion it would have been hard proceeding side by side.

All of a sudden from one of the lateral lanes, running headlong, came out a shabbily dressed man chased by a maniple of soldiers of the King. The man came so as to pass between Charles' and my horse, which invested him. The man fell to the ground and my horse pranced, so that I flew away from the saddle and landed on that man who was still lying on the street. All this happened in a flash.

Before I had the time to stand up, while I was asking myself if the man, first hit by my horse, then by my dead weight, had been hurt, the strong arms of the man closed around me and kept me tightly. In the same time I became aware of two things - the soldiers had surrounded us and were pointing their pikes on us, and that man had leaned the cold blade of a knife against my throat. I became still, totally scared.

The man under me yelled, "If you touch me, I will slit this young gentleman's throat like that of a piglet!"

The soldiers became still, all seemed to become still for a moment. I then saw my brother Charles, who should have dismounted his horse, opening his way amongst the soldiers.

He looked at me, became immediately aware of the situation and aloud and in a determined tone said, "Nobody move! I keep you all responsible for the life of my brother, the young Lord Moriesson! A step backward, all of you!"

Nobody moved, but the maniple-chief stepped forward and said, addressing to Charles, "Milord, we have the order to arrest that man, he is a criminal."

"You will not arrest him now, that's certain! Order immediately your men to move back!" my brother said in an authoritative tone.

I could feel the man pant under me. One of his strong arms was girdling my chest in an iron vice, immobilizing my arms, and his blade was still pushing, lightly but menacingly, against my throat.

The maniple-chief seemed hesitant, thoughtful, but then ordered his men to move backwards three paces. Only Charles and the rank remained so near us. The man under me was neither moving nor saying anything.

My brother addressed to him, "Stand up, man, and let's talk."

"If they touch me, I kill him." the man said then.

"We all understood that. They will not touch you, at the cost of defending your life and that of my brother with this blade. Stand up!"

I admired the cold blood of Charles and this comforted me a little. I felt the man under me move and, without leaving me, slowly, very slowly we stood up.

As we were standing up, Charles asked him, "What do you ask, man, to let free my brother?"

"Nothing. Just that they leave me go, and the boy is my safe-conduct. Or rather, no, I want his horse to leave this place faster, with the boy."

"With the boy? I asked you what do you want to let him free, not to take him away with you!"

"I will let him free as soon as I am safe. I don't intend to harm him, I want only save my skin. If nobody thwarts me, he will come back with not even a scratch, I give you my wordÉ if my word is enough for you. ButÉ either so or we will go both to hell, this boy and I."

My brother looked at him, then looked at me, uncertain.

Then, I don't know where I found the courage, I spoke and said without reflecting what was coming in my mind, "Charles, I pray you! I am certain that this man will keep his word, I feel I can trust him although I don't know him. Let us go away on my horse and I will come back home. You just ascertain that nobody runs after us, I pray you, if you hold dear my life!"

Charles looked again at the man, "Do you give me your word?"

"If you give me your word that nobody will run after us."

"You have my gentleman's word."

"But, MilordÉ" the rank started to say.

"What is your name, soldier?" Charles asked him, brusquely, interrupting him.

"Dan Moryarton, Milord..." the maniple-chief uncertain answered.

"Good, Moryarton, just be aware that my father is a Peer of the Realm. If my brother will come back safe and sound, you will be praised. If you try to run after that man, I will ask for your head and I am sure I will get it. Call your men and go to the side of the street, still, as long as I tell you!"

The rank bowed his head in a light assent sign, resigned, and called back his men.

My brother took the reins of my horse, "Are you able to ride?" he asked the man who was keeping me prisoner.

"Certainly and even well, don't worry."

"I'll keep the horse, go on the saddle. But remember, if my brother doesn't come back safe and sound, I personally will chase you and find you and make of you meatballs for the dogs!"

"If you keep your promise, I will keep mine. In spite of the appearances I am an honest man. I never broke my word, believe me."

"I can do nothing else but that." Charles dryly answered.

We mounted my horse, or to better say the man mounted it bodily raising me, always keeping me tightly against his chest - he did it so easily that I understood he really was skilled at riding. I don't think I would ever have been able in those conditions and without using my hands, to hoist myself on the horse with a limp body in my arms. I of course tried to cooperate, as I well understood that it was my only hope to get out alive from that situation. The fear I felt at first was slowly abandoning me.

Charles handed him the reins, but the man ordered me to take them, and I complied. "Make the horse go, at the paceÉ" he said.

After throwing a last, intense glance to my brother, who made me an assent nod, almost to reassure me, I obeyed.

The man behind me, as we went past the bend, ordered me to take a lateral lane and went on to give me dry and short orders - go right, go straight, go left, take that bridgeÉ

Apparently nobody was chasing after us. We went out of the borough when the sky was already becoming dark. On a stretch of desert road amongst the trees, he told me to stop the horse. He took away the knife from my throat, bustled a little then, seizing my wrists, tied them with a piece of rope. He then took the reins in his hands.

"Will you really let me go?" I then asked him.

"Surely, as I will be in a safe place. I regret to make you undergo all this, boy, but you represent my safety."

"I understand."

"What's your name, boy?" he asked while he made my horse restart.

"WilliamÉ"

"Also my name is William like yours, but I am called BillÉ Bill Evans."

"Why were the soldiers running after you? What did you do?"

"Nothing. Yes, I know, also a thief caught red-handed proclaims he is innocent. But I really am, for God's sake!"

"Of what are you accused, then?"

"I prefer not to talk about itÉ"

"Sorry, sir."

"Hey, boy, I treat you as a brat even though you are the son of a Lord, and you are so polite with me in spite I am just a humble stable-boy? Don't you think that is rather funny?"

"You still have a sense of humour, in spite of your predicament." I acknowledged.

He giggled. For some while we went on in silence, crossing the forest - how he could find his way now that the darkness fell was a mystery to me. I didn't have any idea about where we were, but he seemed to be self-confident.

After some time he asked me, "Are your wrist aching? Did I tie them too tight?"

"NoÉ not too much."

"I am sorry. But I had to be sureÉ"

"I understand."

"Aren't you angry with me?"

"I don't know you. I don't know what forced you to kidnap me to rescue yourselfÉ I cannot judge your actionsÉ" I said, thoughtful.

Fear had totally disappeared from me.

"I admire you. You are a brave boy."

"Thank you." I quietly answered.

"And you are also very beautifulÉ" he then added.

"Beautiful?" I asked surprised for that unexpected compliment.

Nobody ever, up to then, told me that I am beautiful.

"Well built. I could feel you, while I was keeping you on top of meÉ"

It was at that point that I became aware that the pressure I was feeling against me, or to better say against my bottom almost against the saddle, a pressure at first light but that was now stronger and throbbing, was his hardened penis! And his words acquired a meaningÉ and also his desperate fugueÉ It was like when one gets to solve a riddle - before everything seems obscure, but then all becomes glaringly obvious!

"You are aroused, BillÉ" I said in a low voice.

He didn't answer.

"Because of me?" I then asked.

"Hum!" was his only answer.

"You were accused ofÉ buggery, weren't you?"

"But I will not touch you, you have not to worry. Yes, I like doing it with people of my same sex, with boys like you. But I never forced anybody, and even less will I force you. I am not a molester."

"Do you like me?" I asked, feeling curious, and felt I was becoming aroused in my turn, at the thought of being desired.

Desired by a man whose face I had not even seen, but of which I could feel the body against mine, and his agreeable warmth, and his turgid erection.

"I like you, even though I still don't know how your face is. To me the face is also important, do you knowÉ not only the body or the little arse of a boyÉ"

I laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked.

"Because I too was thinking that we didn't get see each other in the face, even though we are close like never two men should be, usuallyÉ"

"Aren't you annoyed by what I told you?"

"NoÉ I am just curious. Is itÉ good, making it between men?"

"It can be good or bad, like making it with a woman. It depends on the two people. Did you ever do it, with a woman?"

"YesÉ Just one time."

"And?"

"I didn't like it. SheÉ forced me."

"Ah. And with a man?"

"No, never. ButÉ" I said and became silent, feeling ashamed by what I was about to say, and stopping just in time.

How could such an idea have come into my mind?

"But?" he urged me.

"But, nothingÉ" I said, biting my lip.

"ButÉ you are curious." he suggested.

"WellÉ a little, even thoughÉ I don't think thatÉ"

I was feeling confused. I was aroused - his clear, tangible excitation was exciting me. And I was curious, surely. And I could feel he was not a menace for me, and not only because he told me so.

To divert the course of our weird dialog, I asked, "Were you caught with a boy?" and I became aware I wanted really to know, "that is why the soldiersÉ"

"No. But for sure, nobody would save me from the gallows."

"Don't you want to tell me what happened to you?" I then asked him.

He kept silent for some time, then said, "Why notÉ I, do you seeÉ I always loved people of my same sex, a womanÉ I almost don't know how she is made. The son of my master, I think a couple of years older than youÉ How old are you, William?"

"Fifteen. And you?"

"Twenty-four. Yes, he is seventeen. He understood I liked him, and he also liked me so, one day, he proposed that we do it togetherÉ The first time it was greatÉ but then heÉ he was becoming increasingly weird, and wanted to whip me while we were doing it. It aroused him, but I didn't like it, so I told him I preferred to stop everything between us. He didn't want, but I was determined. So heÉ he tore his clothes and let the servants find him in tears and accused me of attempted rapeÉ I ran away, but the soldiers found meÉ"

"What a rotten swine! What a bastard!" I exclaimed.

I could feel he was telling me the truth, and instinctively took his side.

"Yes, you are just right!" he said in a low voice and I felt anger vibrate in his low and warm voice.

"I am happy IÉ I fell on top of you. But what will you do, now? You will have to hide, to run foreverÉ"

He giggled, "I will go to the American Colonies, I will change my nameÉ I too am happy you fell on me, do you know?"

His hand leaned on my chest and lightly caressed me, then moved it back with the other to hold the reins.

"Do you desire me?" I asked him again.

"YouÉ what do you think?" he answered making his hard penis throb against my bottom.

"IfÉ if you promise meÉ" I started, but didn't have the courage to give voice to the desire that was awakening in me.

"All you wantÉ and only what you want. I don't intend to hurt youÉ But I would certainly like to do it with youÉ"

"We haven't even yet seen each other's faceÉ"

"Let's hope we will not be disappointed, thenÉ" he said with a light voice and in a merry tone.

His hand came again on my body; this time rubbed my thigh and slowly went up my side, then moved into my lap where he felt my tied wrists. I was shuddering and enjoying that touch.

"I almost forgot I tied youÉ But we have almost arrived and I will untie youÉ Or do you want me to stop and to untie you now?"

"It doesn't matter. Were we are going, do you have a lantern?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because I would like to look at you."

"My face?"

"Yes, your faceÉ but alsoÉ the rest of you. Will you teach me?"

"You want to learn?"

"YesÉ" I murmured, and I felt his hand slip under mine and lean on the swelling in my breeches.

How different was that touch from that of Charlotte. It was warm, gentle, and pleasant. He cupped his hand and brushed lightly, without seizing it, without gripping it.

"You too are arousedÉ" he said in my ear.

"YesÉ" I murmured again and let myself go against his chest.

I trusted him, I would do everything he asked me to do. He gently bit my earlobe and I let go a moan of pleasure - it was beautiful! I closed my eyes to better savour those gentle and new sensations. He was a strong and yet gentle manÉ

"We have arrived." he said stopping the horse.

I opened my eyes and in the half darkness, I caught a glimpse of a hovel amongst the trees. He took me under my armpits and lowered me to the ground. He dismounted and tied the reins to a tree. He then came in front of me and untied my wrists. I instinctively massaged them.

"I am sorryÉ" he said.

I could barely see the white of his eyes, but was not yet able to distinguish his features. I just noticed he had a thick head of hair.

"Do you want to come inside, then?" he asked me.

"Of courseÉ" I answered. "Is anybody at home?"

"No. I was born here, but nowadays nobody more lives here. But there is a lanternÉ and there is a pallet, at least they were there the last time I came here, although it has been several months agoÉ If nobody stole themÉ"

We went inside. I heard him busy himself, then some strokes, and I saw some sparklesÉ and finally a small flame arose from a lantern put on a kind of rickety table. I looked at his face, he looked at mine, and almost with one voice we both exclaimed, "How beautiful you are!"

His face was beautiful, clean, sincere, honest; he had soft and sensual lips, deep eyes, a perfect nose and his face was more that of an aristocrat than of a man of the people. His hair was dark, his features were Saxon-like. And he was smiling to me with a warm, open, really agreeable smile.

"Are you really certain you want to try it with me?" he softly asked me.

"Yes, more than certain. But you should teach me everythingÉ"

"With a real pleasure! May IÉ undress you?"

"SureÉ"

"And you in the mean time will undress meÉ"

"Yes."

His hands started to open my clothes, and mine his. Our eyes weren't leaving each other. I liked feeling his fingers going through my body, here and there. We were bare-chested when his fingertips brushed my nipples. I shuddered, seized by a growing excitation.

"Do you like that?" he asked.

"Very muchÉ"

"Then, you do it for me tooÉ please."

"Of courseÉ"

"May I kiss you?"

"Don't ask, just do it. I trust you, you can do anything."

"Anything?"

"Yes, and what you will do to me, I will do it to you. Is that all right?"

"If you don't like something, just tell me and I will stop and do it no more, all right?" he said taking my face in his hands.

"Yes, all right." I said, and saw he was slowly getting his face closer to mine.

His lips brushed and played with mine - it was sweet. The tip of his tongue slipped between my lips, while he pulled me tightly against him, our naked chests adhered vigorously, and our erections pushed with force one against the other through the cloth of our trousers that were still imprisoning them. I parted my teeth and his tongue invaded my mouth searching for my tongue. They played cheerfully and when he withdrew his tongue, mine followed it and invaded his warm mouth. My god, how sweet and agreeable it was! My first kiss! If this was just the start, I thought, how good will be what follows?

His hands cupped my buttocks and pulled me against him - as much as our bodies were searching each other filled with lust, so much our tongues were swimming in a sea of sweetness. He parted from me.

"My god, I would never stop kissing youÉ Your mouth is delightful, pure like a spring of fresh water." he murmured.

"I neither would stopÉ"

"Come on the pallet, we will be more comfortable."

"But, our breeches?" I asked him.

"Later. We have all the time, don't we? Your first timeÉ I want it to be exceptional. I want you to keep a good memory of me."

"Your first timeÉ how was it?"

"It was also very beautiful, I have been lucky. I was just thirteen. The blacksmith took me, he was a man not yet in his thirties. He brought me to heaven, and when he penetrated me, I didn't care at all about the pain I was feeling, I wanted himÉ"

"Does it hurt, the first time?"

"At timesÉ But it depends on who takes you and how he takes you. And anyway the pain later goes away, each time is lower, and the pleasure increasesÉ"

"YouÉ will you take me?"

"Only if you want it."

"But youÉ would you like?"

"Yes, very muchÉ indeed."

"I then want you to take me."

"If it hurts you, I will stopÉ"

"Only if it hurts TOO muchÉ" I corrected him. I then recalled what Aldous had explained to me about two years before, and asked him, "Will you also let me take it in my mouth?"

"All YOU want, I told you."

"I want to try everythingÉ with you. Really everything."

"Thank youÉ"

"To youÉ"

We lied down on the pallet. He made me lie on my back, and while one of his hands was caressing between my legs and the other all over my body, he started to tease my nipples with his lips. I was increasingly excited and increasingly happy with what was happening to me.

"BillÉ oh Bill, how good it is!" I sighed.

"You are the most beautiful and the sweetest being I ever met, William. It is a pity we will have to partÉ"

I made him lie down and did to him what he had just done to me. He finally began freeing me of my breeches and of the last of my clothes and soon we were both totally naked. I admired finally his penis proudly erect, but he too seemed pleased seeing mine. We embraced, kissed, rolled on the pallet intertwining our limbs, in a feast of growing emotions. I could feel my heart sing in my chest. He then lowered his lips to my penis, turning around so that I too could do the same to him.

"Ooohhh, Biiilll! It's too good!" I moaned thinking I was going to lose consciousness so strong was the emotion I was feeling.

His strong virile member enclosed in my mouth, firm, alive, with a very faint salty and musky taste, was intoxicating me. And my penis in his warm, welcoming mouth seemed to have found its natural place, and that sweet warmth was propagating all over my body. His hands were tirelessly exploring each fold of my skin, making me vibrate like a musical string instrument.

When he was aware he had brought me to the edge of the precipice, he gently parted from me, turned again and kissed me. "I like you to die forÉ" he said me with bright eyes. "You are a natural - if you didn't tell me that this is your first time, I would never have thought itÉ"

"It means that you are a good masterÉ" I sighed feeling happy as I never felt before. I then added, "And I a good pupil."

"You can say that! Oh, why wasn't I your stable-boy?" he exclaimed.

"Who can tell you that afterwards I tooÉ Also with the other one, the first time it had been beautiful, wasn't it?"

"No, you are different. Moreover he didn't learn from me. And the first time with himÉ beautiful, yes, but nothing compared with now, with you, I swear."

"I loved being in your mouth, do you know? And also receiving you in mine. NowÉ you can try to take me."

"Do you want to be the first to try? I am already used toÉ"

"No, I have to learn, don't you remember? I have to first see how to do it."

"Well, this is your first time, therefore I have to prepare you well, so that you will not feel too much pain. I don't want to hurt you."

"You know that I trust you, as I already told you. PleaseÉ"

"You do not have to beg me, I will do it more than willingly. You are so beautiful!"

He had me lie on my back and fold my legs against my chest, asking me to keep them there with my arms. He knelt before my little bottom so stretched out, seized my twin globes with both hands and went down with his face - I felt his lips first on one of the globes then on the other, then his tongue slowly travelled towards the goal. When I understood he intended to brush his tongue on my anus, I asked myself how doing that wouldn't give him a bad feeling, even disgust him. But as soon as he started licking the flesh rosebud, every question vanished from my mind like fog in the sun - if up to then I had experienced very beautiful sensations, now they were wonderful! I relaxed and let him do to me all he had in mind.

He worked me for a long time, until he made me shudder almost violently. He then wet a finger with abundant saliva and started to pass it over my flesh rosebud, making it slippery, and making me gradually relax; when he felt I was ready, he pushed with his finger, making it slip inside, slowly but with determination.

I moaned, "YesÉ"

His finger was gradually invading me and it was a really incredible feeling. Finally it was inside me for all its length. He started then to gently rotate it, until he touched a point inside me, and that made me jolt from such a sharp pang of pleasure that I felt near ejaculating even without having touched my genitals.

"Oh, there! It's incredibleÉ it's fantastic" I uttered trembling from the intensity of the sensations he was awakening in me.

Differently from that time with Charlotte, now all my body participated in that feast of the senses, and not only my penis!

He started to gently and slowly move his finger back and forth. It was incredible. It is impossible to find words to describe it - English language doesn't have the right words. I was looking at his smiling face and felt the desire to kiss him. I could not, in that positionÉ but I felt that being in that position I was offering my self to him, totally, without limits. Yes, I wanted him inside me, and soon. His beautiful penis that my mouth had silently admired, appreciated, tasted, had to penetrate inside me also in that part of my body. It had to! I felt that it was nature demanding it.

When he felt I was again relaxed and shuddering, he pulled out his finger, wet two of them with more saliva and restarted to penetrate me.

"Oh, Bill, take me!" I begged him.

"Not yet, William. My cock is bigger than two of my fingers, I would hurt you. I have to first open you, make you relax completely, do you understand?"

It was that day when I fist learned that a penis is also called "cock" and I loved that word - it had a less abstract, more full-bodied sound, more beautiful! I don't know why it is considered a vulgar term. Cock! Yes, Bill had a wonderful cock! And not only because it was the first one I was experiencing - I always thought so and still think so - it was smooth, regular, straight, proportionedÉ beautiful in a word, really beautiful. And also his "balls" in their almost airless small sack, were perfect in their size.

He worked me still for a long time, alternating it with moments when he made me stretch my legs to rest them, and also to kiss and caress me.

When he used three fingers and I didn't complain or stiffen, he asked me, almost with emotion, "Are you ready, William? May IÉ"

"Yes, please!"

He spread more saliva both on my dilated anus and on his perfect virile member, came on top of me and started to apply a light pressure. I could feel the shuddering warmth of his rod and I tried to relax to finally receive it.

"WillyÉ" he called in a low voice.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to take youÉ I will be your first manÉ"

"Yes." I said quivering, moved, happy.

And I felt him opening his way inside me. He dilated me, dilated meÉ It was slightly painful but I went on to smile to him, as he was spying worriedly my expression and I knew, I could feel that if he noticed the least grimace of pain on my face, he would stop, and I didn't want him to stop. I had finally lost my virginity - it had not been in fact Charlotte who snatched it, she snatched only some of my seed. I was giving my virginity to Bill. The feelings were weird, like those of when one is constipated and tries to empty himself but is not able. But I could understand that this came only from the fact that for my anus this was a new, unusual experience that of being crossed in the opposite direction. I waited with a feverish anticipation - as he told me that afterwards it became beautiful, I knew it had to be so.

Short pangs of painÉ I managed to master myself, but he possibly guessed what I felt and stopped pushing.

"I'm hurting youÉ" he said, serious.

"Go onÉ"

"No, wait. You have to first get used to itÉ" he said and caressed my cheek with a gesture full of delicate caring.

That contrast between his "cock" so strong and hard, and his tenderness in caressing me, was delightful.

"You already entered inside me, didn't you?" I asked, starting to relax again and smiling him.

"A little, but just the tip, about an inch, I thinkÉ"

"Go onÉ" I spurred him again, feeling ready.

He resumed gently pushing, gradually increasing the pressureÉ very gradually. At first it seemed that he could not manage to enter more, it didn't move. But all of a sudden he started again to slip inside me, slowly. The pain came back but soon after, as the head of his beautiful cock brushed the point that before his fingers had found and stimulated, the pleasure filled me with the overwhelming impetus of a flood, submerging the pain.

"Oh, yes, Bill, push! Don't worry! I want all of it inside me!" I fervently exclaimed.

He didn't increase his pressure, he went on slowly taking possession of me. But his smile increased and I understood that he too was feeling a pleasure as strong at least as mine. I asked myself if he too felt a little pain - he later confessed he too felt it. But just at the beginning, like me. He was entering, entering, with the solemn slowness of the royal procession in the cathedral on the day of his coronation. He was taking possession of his kingdom.

I finally felt the bush of curled hair decorating his groin brush against my buttocks, the sack of his balls, warm and firm, pushed against my skin.

"You are totally inside me, aren't you?" I asked, feeling happy.

"Yes. Let's now get you used to my presence, then I can start to fuck you. Good lord how tight are you, William! And hot! AndÉ and you didn't complain even just a little! I thought that this was the worst day of my life, and instead you transformed it in the most beautiful. If they would catch me and take me to the gallows, now, I wouldn't care. Not now. Really!"

"I believe you, I can read it in your eyes; but I hope you can reach the American Colonies without problems, even though unhappily I will so lose you when I just found you. Do you know that your eyes are wonderful? Bright?"

"You lit this light in my eyes, my boy! Ah, if I could take you with me to the American lands! I would be the happiest man in the world, more than any king!"

I was getting used to his presence inside me - my body, that at first and against my will, tried to oppose, to expel it, was now accepting it with growing and quiet joy. I was feeling something like a sense of fullness, of completeness. Bill, Bill that a short time before I didn't even know he existed, Bill who fell in front of my horse, Bill on top of whom I landed when unsaddled, was now in me, almost part of me!

If uniting so with a man is against the laws of God and of the King, this God and this King are in error, they are not worthy of their name! They are neither my god nor my king. I understood it in that moment. At the beginning mine had been only curiosity and physical excitation. Now it was my soul to tell me so, with a self-assured vehemence.

Bill felt I was totally relaxed, so he started to move inside me. He took me for a long time, with calm, stopping when our excitement reached too strong levels, in order to lengthen those moments of so intense pleasure.

The pain had not disappeared, but was growing pale before the pleasure. Bill made me spread my legs so that he could lie against my chest and, continuing to move back and forth inside me, he invaded my mouth also with his skilled tongue - we were as united as two human beings can be, and rather even more, as I could feel that it was not only a physical union.

At that time I didn't become aware, but I am now reading again my notes - in that short stretch of time, I fell in love with Bill. But in those days I was not yet able to give a name to love. If he didn't have to emigrate, if he could have stayed in London, if we could have met each other regularly, I am sure I would have totally fallen in love with him - he had a noble, great, gentle heart. He was strong and tenderÉ and so beautiful! And he was able to make love in a perfect way.

Finally Bill was no longer able to control himself and with a set of contractions he deposited all his seed inside me, hugging me strongly, moaning while kissing me, making me feel all his virile joy from being united with me, to me.

I was incredibly excited and when Bill, after a few minutes, recovered his breath and found again the normal rhythm of his heart, slipped out of me, and offered himself to me, as soon as I sank into him I was not able to hold back my orgasm and unloaded in my turn, feeling I was becoming crazy from the intensity of the emotions.

"Oh, no!" I complained, "Too soon, too fast!"

He smiled and hugged me, "Stay inside me. I like feeling still united."

"Thank you Bill. Thank you for having given me this wonderful experience. You are an exceptional man. How could that bastard treat you so? You don't deserve it."

"Do you then believe me?"

"I believed you at once, but even more now. Bill?"

"What's up?"

"I will miss you."

"I will miss you too William. I am sincere. Even though we don't know each other."

"We do know each otherÉ intimately."

"If we could remain together, you would possibly get tired of me. You are rich, educatedÉ I am nothing."

"It's not to my credit, it's not your faultÉ"

"But it is so. It is possibly better we have to separate. So at least in our memory it will remain a perfect thing. Because it has been perfect, hasn't it?"

"Yes, it has been so, Bill. I will miss you."

We were silent; we caressed each other for some more time. Then he told me that it was better to dress again, that I had to take my horse and go back home, before my family thought I was dead!

I reluctantly dressed, as I knew he was right, I then took out the gold medallion from my neck and gave it to him, "Take this, Bill. I have no money on me and this could be useful to you. Be careful, take care of yourself, make sure that nothing bad happens to you, please."

"No, I don't want itÉ"

"Please, It would make me happy."

"But what will you say?"

"That I lost it along the way, going back home."

"But what if I were caught, if they found it on me?"

"If you were caughtÉ it would not be this medal that would change your situation for the worst, would it?" I answered, shuddering at that thought.

He nodded and accepted it. We said good-bye with a long embrace and a kiss full of passion and tenderness. I mounted my horse and he explained to me how to get back to London. After a last farewell I left and soon the night swallowed his figure. I cried, as I was pained leaving him. I feared for him.

I got back home. My brother Charles, who was feeling responsible for me, felt relieved. They asked me if he hurt me. I said he didn't, he treated me with much respect and care. And, I don't know why, I invented a story on the spot, hoping that if they caught him, my half lie could help him in a way or another.

I said that he confided to me that the son of his master wanted to have sex with him but he refused. That he was about to marry, that he was in love with his girlfriend. That the young lord, as a revenge, unfairly accused him. I said that if he really were a lover of his own sex, he could easily have taken advantage of me, as I was tied up and defenceless, but he didn't. While I was making up this story, I feared it was not believable, and on the contrary I was believed.

Charles confessed to me that, when the maniple-chief told him, after our departure, what Bill was accused of, he feared for me, "I would never have forgiven myself, if that man took advantage of you!" he said, serious.

I smiled inside myself - no, he absolutely didn't take advantage of me.

I never heard again anything about Bill, but for several years I kept an eye on all the announcements of public executions, mainly about those for buggery, and his name never appeared on them. I therefore presume he is living happily, at least I hope he is happy, in our American Colonies.

I anyway owe to Bill Evans the fact that I discovered my true sexuality, and that he awakened it in me in the most beautiful way one can imagine or dream. And for that I accepted it without trauma or problems. I am and will be forever grateful to him.

CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 3

In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at

andrej@andrejkoymasky.com