This fictional story eventually includes descriptions of sex between adult males. If you are a minor or if this material is illegal where you live, do not read this story. Go away. If this material offends you, do not read it. Go away. Please donate to Nifty to pay a share of their expenses to provide these stories for you. There is a place to click on the Nifty front page to donate. Nifty expenses are not zero. Remember that authors depend on feedback for improvement and encouragement. All rights reserved.
The Schuyler Fortune VI: A Throuple of Bums-5
Leo and Greg were still trying to sort out the week's events when they both got a letter from Liam that began with 'Dear Dad'. Liam told them he was writing to both, so they wouldn't have to guess how he felt about them and to let them know he was going to relate to both of them the same way.
Liam continued, "One of you is my biological dad, the guy that contributed, literally, who I am; the other guy raised me to love and hope. How could I not love both of you? I wanted to let you know how much seeing you both meant to me and for the life of me, I can't put that into words on paper. I guess I'm just going to have to show you both."
"Please let me know when the two of you fuckers can take a weekend off to come down here to the City and stay with me and meet my friends. If you can take a long weekend or a week, even better. I want to spend time with you. I've asked my throuple if I can spend time loving on you and they are more than fine with it. More on that later."
"Dress casual. One night might be high-brow requiring a suit and tie but leave your tuxedos home...grin. Bring a bathing suit...or not since the pool is private with a lock on the door. Toothbrush and toothpaste required. Everything else in the world is here and if we don't have it, we'll buy it. You'll have your own suite and a footman, Andrew, who is a gem of a guy."
"While you are here we could plan a few of the trips we talked about and more about spending more time here. I was serious about that part. Mom's brother left me a pot of money and real estate. The interest earns a lot each year, so money isn't a problem.
As I see it, you will have to decide whether or not to continue working all your life...I had to make that same decision. I don't miss the post office though they were good to me when I moved out of mom's house. Sounds like all three of us have had that experience."
Liam included his email and phone number and address and waited. Leo and Greg read the letter.
"I want to spend some time with the both of you, Leo. What are you thinking?"
"Greg, I'm a little shaky about leaving the Ford place, but if this somehow tumbles, can we...well, I need a solid base, Greg."
"Yeah, Leo, I've already decided that regardless of Liam and his money, you and I are together, no matter what if you'll have me. You gave me a son. I got to raise the sweetest boy in the world, who looked like you and was sweet like you are."
Leo regarded him with large brown eyes, steady, serious. "I couldn't have had a better man raise him, Greg. You taught him to be a better person. Can we seal the deal right now, by any chance?"
"You don't waste time, do ya?"
"I work in the service department. How may I be of assistance to you right now, Greg?"
"I'll think of something."
"Greg, do you know what I'm thinking of?"
He did. They came. They conquered each other's hearts.
The housekeeper welcome Leo and Greg two weeks later. Leo had wangled a week off work. Entering their suite, Leo gasped. "How can Liam afford this?"
"Beats me. I'm hot and need a shower. Are there towels in the bathroom, Leo?"
"Tons of towels, Greg."
"Greg, do you think Liam and those other two guys really do it together sometimes?"
"I haven't seen it...not sure if I want to, Leo. It's like my little boy is all grown up, it's just too close somehow. There's got to be a little mystery left to life. In some ways, you can only connect to one mind at a time, no matter how many people are in the room or how many cocks are plugged into you. But what do I know about anything? A few weeks ago, I didn't know I liked guys. I didn't know you even. What a wonderful month this has turned out to be!"
"Moving in with you," said Leo, "was the best thing that ever happened to me. I get to see Liam's face every day and your whole body. Have I mentioned I like your body yet, Greg?"
"Maybe a thousand times but keep on telling me. No matter what, keep telling me. The women I used to sleep with wanted my dick only and couldn't have cared for the rest of me. Now my lover really likes all of me and lets me know. Do you know what that does for a guy's self-esteem?"
"I know what your body does for me, Greg, so I'll keep telling you. I love your cock in my ass. One of these days, don't be surprised when I tell you to turn over and give you the pleasure you give me every day."
"Um, I've never..."
"No, you haven't yet, but you'll learn to like it like I do from a guy that loves you...that would be yours truly."
The two men continued their pillow talk until Andrew knocked and announced an informal supper at seven p.m., casual clothes expected.
Mateo and Ben's first impression of Liam's 'dads' was somewhere between 'why didn't I get two of those' and 'where can I get two of those'. Greg's muscles and package got inspected as did Leo's slender good looks and ass. Liam noticed the inspection of his dads by his partners and got a little overwhelmed for a second. There was a lot of testosterone in the room and the hormone whiff made him as hard as marble.
He wasn't the only one.
"Did Liam fill you guys in on our, um, living arrangements?"
"Yeah," Greg responded, "he did. How do you guys get any rest?"
"The way it works for us so far," said Mateo, "is that one guy sits it out each night, rotating. We all have work to do so every other night in the sack has done it for us. Not to say we don't enjoy all three of us on weekends. We do. But like anybody, we have limits."
"Pardon the personal here, but do you ever play with others? Leo sounded a little eager."
"With group knowledge and permission, sure. Variety drives a lot of good things. We learn all kinds of things and try them sometimes. Condoms are mandatory and testing. None of us want to bring home syphilis or gonorrhea, HPV, HIV, chancroid or any other health issue to the group."
Silence for a few minutes. Liam wasn't about to share his partners with his dads and had zero interest in doing the nasty with his dads. Could this conversation just stop?
"Supper is served."
The next day, Liam took Greg and Leo to a boat-building yard in Connecticut that he had read about. He had proposed the trip and they were eager to explore with their son. The Anders shipyard built wooden and fiberglass ships up to fifty feet in length and advertised ocean cruising full time as one benefit.
They had a great time talking to the owner, asking about power sources, crew requirements, range, maintenance and cost. The owner provided spec sheets, owners to contact and brochures and a contact card.
On the way home, Greg asked Liam if he could afford a ship like that. Liam replied that he could buy ten of them on his credit card. Greg dismissed that as guy talk. Leo, however, had been thinking about their new digs at the museum and wondered into what vat of honey his biological son had fallen.
Greg and Leo slept together that night after dinner in the same bed. Before falling asleep, they talked a little about Liam. "You know, Leo, some dads get to teach their sons about being a man. Neither of us got that chance, partially because we didn't think of Liam when we left. We were busy surviving, I think, and our scope narrowed from what was best for him to what we thought, at the time, was best for ourselves. Not judging, just saying."
"I don't think Liam thinks of either of us as guys with sexual needs. That's OK. I also think he's missed out on one of the areas of being a man that women will never understand in a million years. There are a lot of dads and their sons who teach each other things about life and love. I think Liam may have missed out on some closeness, some intimacy with men...he's sure making up that with Ben and Mateo."
"I would never force myself on Liam and I'm sure you wouldn't either. I would like to open a path for him to get physically close to both of us if the idea strikes him without being a creep or a troll."
Leo listened and placed the heat of his open palm on Greg's cock. "I understand that, Greg. I wonder if he saw us together, and we just invited him to be with us, telling him how much we all missed out, offering him the chance to be close to us..."
"We'll wait until the right moment, I guess," said Greg. "You once again know what to do, daddy." Leo's cock started to grow and Greg's mouth was all over it like honeybees on clover.
Mateo and Ben were in the museum shower after their swim. Ben had locked the door. They sat on a bench near a mirror where they could watch themselves and under another mirror on the ceiling made for the same purpose. A ceiling fan whirred to take moisture away to improve the view.
Ben lay on his back. "Do you have time to play with me now, Mateo?"
"I thought you might ask. The answer is I have as long as you take, Ben. I love you so much. Any chance you could be my lover tonight?"
"I think your chances are good, buddy." Mateo's tongue reached out and swiped Ben's lips. "How's that for starters, Ben?"
"It's not a bad beginning."
"What's that log between my balls and my cock?"
"Don't know, Mateo. Is it dry or dripping?"
"It's dry and soft and hard and a little wet at the tip right now."
"Oh, probably just a lumberjack in the room."
Mateo giggled, then sobered a little. "Ben, I love the way your warm skin feels on me. Your skin smells heavenly; it's the Ben smell. I also love the way your abdominal muscles tighten when I lick the skin around your navel and down inside it."
"I'll bet you tell all your boyfriends the same thing."
This was new territory. When two of three make love, the usual convention was to not discuss what the other pairings did and felt. Mateo and Ben, on the other hand, were anything but usual. This was an open invitation to a closer connection between them.
"I tell Liam that I love him. I tell him what I enjoy when he fucks me. I love the way he smells. So, yeah, I tell him the same things, Ben. I love him the way I love you. I welcome his cock in the same place I hope yours is pointed in a few minutes. I'm pretty sure you will lick my ass in a few, and cum in it pretty soon, all things Liam does well too, as you know."
"But you, Ben are special to me. There is no one else on the planet that looks like you, talks like you, has your same scent, or makes love like you do. You are unique; you love me and I'm lucky to know and love you, man."
Ben's eyes began to water a little, then his mouth began to water, and soon he was chowing down...and in. An hour later his cock was deflating and happy.
Liam was off schedule that night and decided to turn in early. Just before hopping into the shower, he answered a light tap at the door and found Greg and Leo. They wanted to thank him for the excursion that day.
"Liam, have you ever wanted to cruise on a ship for a while?" Leo took the lead.
"I sure have. The problems some have with living on their boats include money and time. Usually people have a job or a birthday or something they have to get back for. I have more money than I can spend and all the time in the world. My problem is the ship size. The larger the ship, the more people want someone to share it with; it minimizes the empty feeling of a larger ship to have company. Mateo and Ben have responsibilities here. Neither is hurting for money, but they don't really have the time."
Greg began to chuckle. "Sounds familiar. Your two dads have the time, but not the bucks." A faint idea began to form in Liam's head.
"I know this sounds crazy, but why don't the three of us spend some time cruising and see if we like it without going 'stir-crazy' for a couple of weeks?"
"Maybe," Greg said gingerly, "but I have to tell you I'm flat out stupid about water and sailing and engines and ships and navigation and about every other ship-related thing I can think about."
Liam warmed to the subject. "Me too. We can all learn together with some help. Why don't we take the basic navigation course together? I'll hire an instructor to come and get us through that first. I'll start looking for a ship to lease for a month and a crew. What do you say?"
Greg and Leo looked at each other, grinned, and said they would be honored.
It took about two weeks of hard work and group study before they took the test and passed their navigation test. Leo dreamed 'red right returning' and buoy rules. Then Liam popped a bombshell on them on graduation day. "Dads, I've got a graduation present for you. It's my high school graduation present from you guys, actually. Ben and Paulo and Mateo helped me. Come with me."
They all trooped down to the front door, jumped in a waiting SUV and headed toward a Hudson River marina. Once there, they got out and walked over to a small guard shack, Liam grinned and showed his passport to the guard who checked it over; then Liam received a small carabiner of keys.
They walked down a gangplank and several hundred feet later came to a ship with a uniformed crew lined up on a pier by an elevator going up a few stories. Up they all went and got off at a level which connected to a glassed-in walkway to the ship. They walked into a large room on the ship, followed by the crew. The captain met them and welcomed Liam and his dads and partners to the 'Thomas Gratz'.
"May I give you a tour?" offered the captain. "It's nice to know your ship. I am John Merton, your new captain-engineer."
"We have twelve crew at the moment, looking for a three, possibly four more. Our 1st officer, our 2nd officer, our officer on watch, bosun, and one deckhand (who will double as a security officer), our purser doubling as chief steward, our 2nd steward and a steward, our head of housekeeping, our laundry person chef, our prep cook doubling as our dishwasher are hired."
"We are looking for another deckhand, a pipe fitter, and possibly either a masseuse or a fitness trainer and probably another steward. If we need, we can hire a 1st Engineer."
"Our shakedown cruise will settle some of the personnel need issues. The ship is 160 feet long with three decks, a big galley, has two Caterpillar engines, about 2000 horsepower each and runs on diesel. She has in the neighborhood of ten thousand gallons of fuel on board when full, 1400 gallons of fresh water, the ability to make a lot more and holding tanks. She is air-conditioned, has a helicopter deck, has plenty of crew space, 7 staterooms, and very serious anti-piracy assets.
There are ten heads distributed between passengers and crew. A dish-room with a dish machine is semi-automated so that dishes on special trays are rinsed, washed and heated dry in a very short space of time for disinfection. The ship has a supply of surgery packs and emergency medications, but no delivery packs. We can always fly one out if the need arises. He heard laughter.
"That's all the bragging on behalf of our owners, Liam Markham, Leo Markham and Greg Kinder. On behalf of the crew, welcome aboard."
"We'll be sailing in 20 minutes. All ashore that's going ashore."
The meal was simple that evening. Fruit salad, a Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio, just under room temperature, broiled salmon with dill sauce, grilled Mexican corn on the cob and for dessert a generous selection of chocolate truffles.
They all gathered at the bar on the aft deck, got a little buzzed and made their way to their rooms. They motored out along Long Island and back the next day. The captain was pleased. They had found a small leak in a pipe and fixed it without the fitter. A seal in the dishwasher was leaking a bit; the warranty was still good obviously and the repair person was at the dock to meet them. The engine performance was flawless.
Liam thanked Captain Merton for the pleasure of the voyage and they spoke briefly about scheduling voyages through the Schuyler travel office versus one on one calls. The captain replied that he preferred direct communication, so he could ask necessary questions and be more prepared. Liam told the caption that it was unlikely that any women passengers would be bossing them around. "Oh Lord, I'm in trouble," said the captain, "men can be so fussy!"
Liam laughed. "How true, how true." Captain Merton had worked on yachts in Fort Lauderdale and Miami and understood a great deal. He and his partner, Hank Merton-Roberts, were very comfortable with their new job. Hank was the new purser on the 'Tom Gratz'. They were delighted to be and work together with like-minded guys.
The next trip was longer. Paulo and Mateo had other business, but Ben was up for another break. Ben and Liam, Greg and Leo left the dock in New York harbor, the ship now fueled, provisioned, supplied, and expectant. Their trip down the right coast to Fort Lauderdale was scheduled to include a jaunt further south to Cancun and Cozumel if time permitted.
All of the crew and passengers had passports, some obtained emergently. In Fort Lauderdale, a Navy vessel was making an appearance and hundreds of trim sailors in their black and white uniforms were on the streets and in the bars. Ben and Liam bar-hopped one night and picked up a handsome sailor, possibly twenty-one, in a gay bar, offered him a drink and asked him if he wanted to spend the night on their yacht in harbor. He was thrilled and thirsty to fuck. Back in the stateroom Liam kept the sailor, Jaime, stuffed while Ben used his mouth as a vacuum cleaner. "I think our Jaime feels like the admiral right now, Ben."
"I didn't know it could be this good, guys." By this time, Jaime had taken Ben's cock well in hand and swallowed it to its root. Liam continued trying to see if his own cock would bump up against Ben's cock somewhere up there, but it never did make it that far.
After some sleep, Liam and Jaime spent some private time in the bedroom while Ben tended something else, then they delivered Jaime to the dock well in time to meet his sailing.
"Hell and damnation," Greg grinned after breakfast, "you guys sure know how to rock the boat."
"We brought a sailor back to the ship." Greg and Leo glanced at each other. "You used condoms, we hope."
"Yes daddies, we put our rubbers on."
"Lord, we thought that was a cat screeching down the hall."
"Blamed if I'm not going to have to re-do the noise insulation in this old tub," joked Liam.
At Cancun, they had barely docked when Mateo rushed up the gangplank and fell into our arms. "Surprise, surprise," he yelled, "didja miss me?"
`
"We did for sure, Mateo." Ben was scratching his back and patting his butt. "When did you get in?"
"Yesterday on Raspberry. She just got out of maintenance in time for me to get down here. What are we doing for fun this week?"
Liam had an idea or two, but Ben took point. "We're going to Cozumel and take the tender over to Playa del Carman for a rocking Saturday night. Then by Monday we should be down to the Lake of Seven Colors just north of Chetumal and near Bacalar. The sugarcane festivals should be on in the area. The hot workers will leave their machetes at home. Some will bring or find a girl...others will want a good-looking guy here like Liam. It's not a Carnival like Rio but these guys know a good time when they hear about one."
Mateo laughed and sighed. "I hope we have some instant HIV tests along."
"We'll raid Cancun's pharmacies today," replied Liam. "By the way, Ben is still asleep. Any ideas how to spend the time?"
"About a dozen or so, Liam. Do you know how to cure morning wood?"
Liam did. After undressing Mateo in the bathroom amid giggles and admiring the scenery, Liam cupped Mateo's soft curved tanned ass and pulled him closer. Liam whipped off his pajama bottoms and Calvin Klein under-gear. He had purchased one of the briefest of underwear, one that covered his balls in sheerest thin nylon and housed his cock in a grasping fabric tube, slightly stretchy, and long enough to house a full-blown erection. After getting wet, it was transparent.
"As sexy as that is, I believe it's in the way of what we had planned," said Mateo. He removed it carefully and took a good sniff. "That's what I've missed, lover. I want that hard thing for a minute." Mateo grasped Liam's cock and tongued the head back and forth, then licked the back of the tip, then plunged his head and mouth over the tip and set forth on a mission. Liam's head fell back, his breath catching and then Mateo put a finger into Liam's mouth, got it wet, and worked it into Liam's ass, finding his prostate gland a few inches up on the front wall of the rectum toward Liam's abdomen. The bump was small and unmistakable because when Mateo's finger brushed it, Liam squealed and moaned and just lost it. Mateo began to fuck Liam with his finger, then another. Liam, lost in a haze of pleasure, wanted more.
"God... In. Fuckin. Credible. Fuck me, Mateo, please...just put it in and fuck me."
"Are ya sure, baby?"
Panting now, desperate, pushed to the edge, "Yeah, Yeah, I'm sure, I'm real sure daddy." Please just..."
"OK honey, I'll give ya what ya need, my hot fuck stick in your ass. Get ready buster. This might hurt for a minute. But don't worry. It won't hurt me a bit."
Mateo slapped Liam hard on his smooth ass and shoved at the same time. At any other time, Liam would have slugged him. In his stupor of lust, he welcomed the focus and relaxed his ass to accommodate Mateo's erection, sliding in, sliding out, bareback, an intimate connection like no other, man to man, man on and in man, merging, crying, laughing until finally they both felt their bodies beginning the old wind-up, so tense, so taut, so tight, then the intense pulsating release of semen through their cocks into each other.
On his back, Liam wouldn't let Mateo go for a few minutes. He put his arms around his partner and nuzzled his neck, kissing and biting his shoulder, marking him a little.
Ben had wakened. On his way to the head, he peeked into the room and saw the two in the last moments of pleasure. He grinned and quietly closed the door, reflecting that his lovers were pretty hot guys. They would be even happier campers for getting laid this morning. Always a bonus, he thought. Knowing and loving those two was way better than porn, he decided.
This was real love between three real people. They were hot enough to scorch bricks. He, like everyone, had a small issue judging how hot he himself was. He had no way of knowing, but most men don't primarily consider looks when they breed. Most men just spread their seed around. It's a biological imperative. Gender preference didn't change that.
Walking a bit off, Leo along with Greg came into the dining area and ate waffles, papaya and mango slices, fresh pineapple and guava juice for breakfast. Eggs were served as each ordered with a choice of sauces. Finally, pan dulce (conchas)was offered. They turned out to be individual slightly sweet bread rolls with a cookie topping, brightly neon colored with pink or bright red.
It wasn't quite warm enough to swim yet, so the men took the tender to Chetumal and rented an SUV with a trailer and rafts to cruise and swim in the Lake of Seven Colors. It had been cleaned up well after the Mexican government identified some pollutants from inadequate sanitation and the colors were brilliant, the water clean. They sprayed on sunscreen once on the beach and wore as little as they thought they could get by with.
At one end of the beach were some young men in thongs and bikinis lounging in the sun. A few were making out. As the sun began to dip in the west, a couple of bonfires sprang up and the party got rowdy with bottles thrown and shouting. Leo, Greg, Liam, Ben got ready to go. Mateo went over and after a few minutes brought back a couple of guys.
"I offered them a job on a big-ass yacht, Liam, as deckhands. They liked the salary I mentioned. I think our lawyers can get them aboard and on to the ship roster in the US. I know some politicians who get people to work in their homes without any trouble. Worse comes to worse, we can get a special bill passed in Congress to declare them essential. It happens. Usually with some bucks behind it somewhere.
These guys look like a million dollars and swinging those machetes all day long in the sugar cane fields does something for muscle development. These guys have passports in their big wallets on a chain on their belts. They might be Guatemalan foreign workers, hard to know. I didn't ask. In any event they'll work hard doing almost anything for the salary mentioned. I didn't tell them that we offered bonuses as well."
"This is your yacht, Liam. It's your decision. By the way, these guys weren't drinking tonight. They said they have to work tomorrow. Sounds responsible."
"Thanks Mateo. Let's make it happen."
Miguel and Pablo turned out to be great deckhands. From Oaxaca originally, they had come up to the expansive sugar cane region of the south Yucatan to work, only to find that their gender orientation wasn't popular among that group of workers either. They had suffered shorter hours, a few beatings and exclusion from the worker's social structure. Aboard ship, however, they felt accepted and valued.
Accepted because they were family and valued...well, their paychecks were far better than swinging machetes all day plus they got to be nearly naked while scrubbing down the sides of the boat and coiling lines and securing the ship.
The food was different...they both missed their home breakfast...fresh vegetable salsa over quesadillas, huevos rancheros covered with mole, black beans and sometimes, pork ribs.
When they weren't working, they were all over each other in the crew quarters. Neither drank alcohol. Neither smoked tobacco. Their single 'vice' was sex with each other, upside down and sideways, hanging from the rafters, ebullient fucking.
At age twenty-two, they had life by the balls. There wasn't a place to spend money on the boat, so they saved their money in Santander Bank in Playa del Carman, a place they thought looked good for a house or retirement someday.
"Man overboard!" The captain had rehearsed the drill with the crew a dozen times. The ship couldn't stop on a dime, but it began the process of coming about. Ben had been drinking beer that morning, Liam recalled later, and when Mateo saw Ben fall off of a railing, he did not hesitate according to Miguel. Miguel wasn't a swimmer but sounded the nearest alarm.
Pablo pitched several life rings into the water by Ben, who seemed to grasp at one, then his face contorted in pain and he was dragged below. Liam was below deck as were Leo and Greg when the call came over the ship's loudspeakers. Miguel and Pablo threw several ropes to the area watched in horror as Ben's head surfaced once and went under again, surfaced barely once again and then disappeared.
Mateo, a strong swimmer, dove after Ben and couldn't find him.
The crew fished Mateo out quickly and the tender launched on a search for Ben. A group of large shark fins converged and there appeared a white-water splashing in one area. From the deck, a dark stain spreading in the sea was visible there and more fins came toward the tender.
The captain radioed to the tender to come back in. By that time all were on deck, Liam and Mateo weeping, stunned. The captain had the 1st Officer take a few pictures of the stained sea and the shark fins and recommended that they continue home. The Coast Guard was called. They concurred and okayed the ship to leave the area after taking the ship's information. Liam called Ben's father and asked him if he had someone with him.
On receiving the affirmative, Liam told him that he had very serious, bad news. "I don't know how to break the news," he said, "I'm not coping very well with the accident...he stopped, realizing he needed to take a different approach. He waited a moment and recounted the story. Mr. Dewey told Liam that he had warned Ben about his excessive drinking within the last month and began to cry, great sobs from a man who had lost his only son.
Once home, Liam put the ship up for sale through a broker. He gave all of the hands six months wages and asked them to be ready to hear from him. He developed a phobia to water outside his shower, that is. Mateo told him he needed to get help and Liam resisted for a few weeks, then caved. "I don't know who to talk to. I want to know if this is normal."
Mateo talked to Brent, his dad, and asked where his 'little' brother practiced. "Daniel is a psychiatric fellow in Connecticut, Mateo? Why do you ask?"
Mateo told his dad that Liam was not handling Ben's death as well as Liam wanted. He left his dad's office with Daniel's cell number and address.
"Uncle Dan, Mateo here. Would you call me when you get a minute please?"
Dr. Daniel Smythe finished his rounds that morning, the note from Mateo, his nephew by adoption, in his shirt pocket. He motored back to his condominium for lunch, picked up his cell and called Mateo.
"Thank you for calling me back, Uncle Dan," Mateo said. "Liam is all at sea about losing Ben and I think he needs to speak with someone. Can you recommend... "
"I'd be happy to fit him in this afternoon at four p.m. if you can get him here."
Daniel heard a sigh of relief from his nephew.
"Don't be scarce kiddo." Daniel wasn't a matchmaker and was aware of the hazards of introducing patients to one another. It was hard enough for two mentally healthy people to bond, rare for those impaired in the first place. His thoughts ran to another patient of his in similar situation of loss, strengthening in therapy, who might...might...benefit from talking to another person with similar issues of loss.
He pondered group therapy again, a small family where people were free to experience the ideal family, a family where all points of view were respected, and an authority figure 'watched' over their interaction.
John Baylor had been in his therapy group for nearly 14 months now, slowly growing to understand his choices and options, the consequences of his decisions, the importance of setting goals, and making progress toward those goals.
John, a house painter by trade, had come home one afternoon to find his partner of six years murdered in a home invasion/robbery and had suffered such intense pain and loss that treatment was not an option; treatment was required of him after a rampage of some hours.
Daniel had initially seen a broken man, gorgeous, intelligent, guy who reportedly had once sported a sunny disposition according to all accounts, a loving heart for others, funny and of moderate means. With professional training and career choices wide open, his star had been pointed nearly straight up.
Daniel's task was to help John begin reconstruction of himself.
It was immediately apparent to Daniel, himself a psychiatric rock star at this university in New Haven, that before reconstruction there would come hard work for John to build inner tools like discipline, anger management and letting go of those longings to be a child again, a victim, helpless in the face of overwhelming loss and pain.
To accomplish the goal, Daniel planned with his mentors an approach which amounted to psychiatric surgery.
Daniel in group and in individual therapy would help John to strip away the layers down to his bare, inner core and then reconstruct healthy layers between John and his world. That had begun some fourteen months ago. John had shed most of his coping skills and replaced them with altered, more healthy approaches to his life all within a framework of reaching John's goals.
One of those goals was to have a partner that loved him. That had been really tough for John to think through. He knew in his head that his partner had not left him, yet his heart said his former partner wasn't there so what was the difference? He knew in his head it wasn't his fault, yet his heart told him had he been home an hour sooner instead of dropping by the bookstore, he could have helped his now 'ex' partner.
The pull and tug of mind and heart was a strong tide in John and he had learned about that conflict and how damaging it was and some techniques to avoid it.
He had learned that some internal conflicts were not 'resolvable'. Those were best either avoided or suppressed in various ways. Those conflicts that were amenable to resolution were fair game and John had learned ways to identify progress to resolution.
John had learned the lingo of the process, the ideas. He had nearly completed his tasks and was ready, Daniel thought, to help teach them to another in group through identification, empathy, suggestion and who knows, thought Daniel, possibly action.
At four p.m., Daniel's work was further complicated. Liam checked in. They hadn't met. Daniel performed a physical exam and noted a well-developed male in no acute distress, unable to face Daniel directly and distinctly not cheerful, oriented x three, alert to surroundings. The neuro exam was normal. All cranial nerves were intact and there was no evidence of injury to or disease of the central or peripheral nervous system. Sensation and motor functions were normal. Liam's affect wasn't normal. He appeared sad and serious. He didn't seem to have any suicidal ideation and his fund of knowledge was normal.
Daniel asked Liam to describe what happened and asked if he could help. Liam recounted his loss, the horror, the fear of water, and added that he could never replace Ben, another fear. Liam told him that he had inherited enough money to solve his pressing poverty, that the temporary relief had brought some happiness to his life, that he had found his dads and they had found each other and were happy, that he and Mateo and Ben had found love between them and now all of that was ruined.
Daniel heard the child speaking, the broad negative conclusion from a single negative experience and began by saying that no one else could understand Liam's pain or experience it in the same way.
"What are your goals now, Liam?"
"I want to be happy again."
"How will you know that you have gotten there?"
"I'll feel better. This horrible feeling inside will go away. I'll have him back."
"Which of those do think will be the easiest goal to reach?"
Liam hadn't thought about it but relied that Ben would never come back.
"Yes, you are right. He is gone."
"What would you like to say to him?"
"He's dead, I can't..."
"If you could say something to Ben, what would you say now?"
"I'd tell him that his fucking drinking choices took our happiness right down the drain."
Daniel shifted in his chair and cleared his throat. "How do you feel about that?"
"I'm pissed."
"Liam, are you afraid of anything?"
"Hell no."
"Are you able to tell yet whether these feelings are about him or about you?"
"He's gone. He made his choice and now I'm left to deal with it."
"Thank you for sharing with me, Liam. I think you are approaching the core here. Hold on to that thought. I want you to share your experiences in a group session on Friday mornings at ten a.m. It may take a few sessions, a few months for you to get to the heart of this. I believe that you can and will make progress and be happy again. Do you have any questions for me?"
Liam didn't have any questions and didn't feel better, but he remembered 'in for a penny, in for a pound' and agreed to come back Friday morning at ten a.m.
Group therapy began at five minutes after ten that Friday morning and the smell of coffee permeated the small room. A box of assorted doughnuts on the counter was rapidly depleting. Liam looked around the circle of people and recognized only Daniel, his therapist. He thought perhaps Daniel was the doc for all of these people. An even mix of men and women, fat and skinny, tall and short, some intelligently alert, others not so much. His eyes lingered for a minute on a cute guy a little younger than he, short blonde hair, blue eyes, good chest and arms, no belly...dressed in a polo shirt with tan slacks.
"I want to introduce the new member of our group to all of you," said Daniel."
He asked each member of the group to introduce themselves and say what their main issue was that they were working on. One lady "I'm Grace", fluttered her eyelashes and said she was trying to overcome a sex addiction. Liam smiled and shuddered inside. A man with no expression on his face, "I'm Todd and I have a borderline personality disorder."
The cute guy, "I'm John and I lost my partner."
Liam tensed internally and tried to not change his facial expression. He folded his arms and cross his knees and coughed a little. Daniel noted the response.
"Liam, why don't you share your issue." Liam's throat seized up for a second and then he looked a little defiant at the group. "My partner fell overboard and was eaten by sharks."
One lady laughed out loud, managed to throttle it and turned red.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "It just sounded for a second like 'my dog ate my homework'. I didn't mean to offend you or make fun. My little boy died. He used to come home and say that to me..."
Liam relaxed a little. He understood what she said. He wondered if everyone in this group had painful stuff. That was the awkward beginning of his recovery.