The Reunion Show 9 The Reunion Show – part 9
If you’re not 18 or older, blah, blah, blah; you shouldn’t be here.
If you don’t like these types of stories, blah, blah, blah; you shouldn’t be here.
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Who’s yo daddy!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“You are a very brave man, Mike Logan,” he said. “Braver than I am.”
“Nah, I bet you’re pretty brave.”
He stopped walking and I turned to look at him. “I repeat, you’re braver than I am,” this time he said it a bit more exact. Then he raised an eyebrow and cocked his head a bit.
I was drunk but if I understood him right, and he was telling me what I think he was….”Well, maybe you’ll be just as brave someday?” looking up at him.
He looked up and beyond me for a second. Finally he said, “Someday. Maybe someday.”
“Works for me,” I said as we turned to walk back to our cars. I grabbed his ass and said, “God Damn that’s a great ass.”
He laughed and knocked my hand away. “You’re such a nut!”
“Don’t you forget it.” God, I was so friggin’ happy.
* * * * * * * * * *
I received the first cd a few days after we had gone to Rhett’s. I woke up that Wednesday morning and my muscles were a little sore. Scott decided Monday morning that I needed to get up in the morning with him so we could work out together.
“Fine,” I said groggily. “But just remember that Mr. Congeniality doesn’t show up until closer to 10 o’clock.” Evidently he’d forgotten how much I hate mornings.
“I’ll try and keep that in mind, pal,” he'd said.
Normally I just ran and watched what I ate. As far as alcohol intake, the first two nights I was here was not the norm for me. When I go out with friends I’ll usually have one, maybe two, drinks. I hate beer: as my grandma used to say “they can put it back into the horse for all I care.” Amen, Grandma. But I love people who say it’s an acquired taste, and that it took them months to get used to the taste. Well baby, I want to feel good right now dammit, not in a few months.
Anyhow, the Monday and Tuesday after my "revelation" at the bar Scott and I would get up and head upstairs for a workout. He didn’t need the workout because he looked really good anyway, but I sure needed some toning up. I also knew that it’d be even more one-on-one time with The Handsome One. Totally fine with me.
Back to the cd. I got up Wednesday morning, nary the cheerful person, and sat up to wake my brain. I’m not really smart so it takes a while. I saw on my nightstand a cd that wasn’t there the night before. I looked at it for a second before I picked it up to check it out. It wasn’t a cd that you’d buy in the store. Nope. On the jewel case was a sticky note that said: “Remember – music always has something to say. Enjoy.”
Well wasn’t that nice of Freddie, I thought. He didn’t have to do that. Actually, I’m not sure when he would have because all of us were always together—except when Scott and I’d go upstairs to the mini-gym. I flipped it over and started reading the song titles on the back. I smiled as I read them. It was all 80’s stuff. Talk about high school memories!
There was “Addicted To Love,” “All I Need Is A Miracle,” “Can’t Stop (How I Feel),” “Crazy For You.” I looked up as I started thinking about the songs. Odd; there seemed to be a common thread here. Let’s see, what else is there….”Don’t You Forget About Me,” “Dreamin’.” Oh my God! I hadn’t heard Cliff Richards’ song “Dreamin’” since I was in the sixth grade. I always loved that song and looked forward to hearing it on the radio. What else, “Father Figure,” Hmmm. “Feels So Right.”
Oh God. Freddie no! All these songs were….love songs…sort of. Gulp. Freddie?
“Whole Hearted,” “I Want To Know What Love is.” Oh Freddie. You sweet thang. If I were only interested. And making this cd for me fit the entire, wholesome, farm boy deal he had goin’. But I wasn’t interested. It kinda made me sad. I sighed and looked over all the rest of the songs.
“If You Were Here.” The song from the movie “Sixteen Candles” where she gets the guy at the end. I loved the songs, but… “It’s Raining Men.” I had to laugh out loud at that. Perfect song for a gay guy.
“What are you laughing at, Logan?” I looked up to see Scott walk into the bedroom.
“Oh, it looks like sleepy head over there” pointing to Freddie “made me a cd.”
“Huh? Freddie?” He looked puzzled.
“Yeah, check out the songs,” I said, showing him the titles. He handed it back to me quickly, barely looking at it.
“It looks like quite a bit of effort was made,” he said.
“I know. Poor guy,” I told him.
“Why’s that?”
“Cause I ain’t interested,” I said quietly.
He looked over at Freddie’s sleeping form. “Hmmm.” Then he turned and walked out of the room.
There were a couple of more songs. “Our Lips Are Sealed,” and to end it all “Something About You” by Level 42. “Oh, I hope I’m wrong about this,” I muttered to myself.
I put the cd back on the nightstand, put on some shorts and a tank top, and then headed upstairs to join Scott. He was waiting for me when I walked in. “You ready?” he asked.
“Oh, I’m always ready,” I said with a wink.
He asked me “Where’s the cd.”
“It’s downstairs.”
“Aren't you going to listen to it?”
“Well, yeah. I’ll do it later,” I said.
“It looks like some time and effort was put into that,” he repeated.
“Ok? I agree.” Where was this coming from?
We started, or I should say that I started, our workout routine. I say “I started” because Scott was still teaching me how to use some of the machines properly and he didn’t really get to use them himself for a while. He wasn’t talking a whole lot this morning which was odd because the boy never really met a stranger, that I could tell.
“So, everything all right?” I asked.
“Yeah. Why.”
“’Yeah, why’” I mocked in my which-way-did-he-go voice. He didn’t say anything; didn’t even look at me. “Okay, so something’s up.”
“No, I just said it’s cool.”
“What’s cool.”
“Dammit Mike, I’m fine.” I could tell he was getting a little irritated.
“Dude, sorry I asked. Geeze.”
We continued our workout in silence for a while before Scott spoke again.
“You know Mike, you don’t have to make everything alright.”
“Huh?”
“You heard me,” he said.
“Well no shit, I heard you, but that doesn’t mean I know what you’re talking about.”
“If I’m having a shitty day, maybe I just want to let it work itself out. You don’t have to try and make it better.”
“I didn’t realize I was 'trying' anything,” I told him.
“Yeah you do. You’re always cracking jokes, trying to get people to laugh. Laughing at whatever you say. I’m just saying that it’s okay for people to just chill. You don’t have to be the one to make everyone laugh, to make things okay for them.”
Boy, this was a weird turn of events. “Well let’s just workout because obviously I can’t make things okay for you, pal,” I muttered.
“You got that right.”
I turned to him. “God damn, son! And what the fuck’s got into you? I hadn’t even said a shittin’ thing to you. It’s like I’m in the goddamned twilight zone!”
He just stood there and shook his head. “You don’t get it, do you.”
Between myself and the readers it had been years since I’d taken crap from anyone, and I wasn’t about to regress. With my hands on my hips I said, “Obviously not! Scott, you’re not making any friggin’ sense.”
“All I said was that you should really listen to the goddamned cd.” He was getting loud now.
“And all I said was that I would. If you haven’t noticed I don’t have my walkman—you were gonna show me how to work this shit” I said gesturing to the equipment “so I didn’t think the time was right to have my headphones on. What’ja want me to do, say ‘Sorry Scott, what was that? I was listening to my music instead of paying attention’!” What a turd he was being!
“Quit changing the subject!”
“What subject!”
“I was talking about you always trying to make things better for everyone!” he yelled.
“Are you just—you know, I’m not going to do this. Someone shat on your head, you’re feelin’ full of piss and vinegar and you’re taking it out on me.” I said this calmer so I wouldn’t wring his neck, then I turned to leave the room. But then I turned right back around.
“You know? Screw this! I laugh because I like to laugh. I don’t know why, I just do. If I try to help someone out who seems to be having a bad day, how else am I gonna do it! All you had to do, which you did, was to say 'back off', which I did. You’re the one who brought up all the psycho-babble crap. Not me.” I turned back around to leave. This really sucked and I was really pissed, simply because I had no idea where any of this was coming from, or where it was going.
As I walked off he said quietly, “You were a pussy in school and you’re being a pussy now.” I stopped and turned to look at him, stunned. He realized what he’d said before I even looked at him. “Oh shit Mike,” and he wiped his hands down his face. “I didn’t mean that.” I just stared at him. “I…I have no idea where that came from.”
“Don’t bullshit me,” I said.
“No, I really don’t. You’ve been nothing but nice to me. Hell, you’ve even forgiven me for how I treated you when we were kids.”
“That’s because we were kids then. We’re supposed to be adults, now,” I said firmly. “You can get as angry as you want at me, I can take it. But the one thing I won’t take is being called any kind of name.” I was trying to be really cool. In actuality I hadn’t had a confrontation with hardly anyone since high school and was really nervous inside. “You can tell me I’m acting like something, but don’t call me names. I like you, Scott, but I ain’t puttin’ up with that shit from anyone. Got it?”
His shoulders dropped as he breathed out. “Mike,” he said taking a step towards me and rubbing his chin, “I really am sorry. I had a bad night and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have.”
I shook my head. “Dude, it’s ok. I know sometimes I can be a bit much to take.”
“No, it’s just…” He started looking up at the ceiling.
“What?” I asked.
“The cameras.” He sighed and looked back at me. I glanced up.
“Yeah?”
“Well, you remember our talk at the park?” About the abuse.
“Mm hmm.” I answered, calming down a bit.
“Sometimes I wake up in the night after dreaming about it.” He looked so sad. Y’all know I just wanted to hold him and take care of him. But this was one of those times that a man needs to get out what he’s thinking without coddling. You know what I mean? He grinned in a nervous way, “It’s like, no matter how old I get…I just wish I could forget.”
I shut my eyes for a moment and said nothing.
“How can people be so-“
“Unh-unh,” I interrupted, pointing at the cameras. He smiled real big and I thought I could see tears.
“When I think of the way I was in school…”
Hw was silent for a moment. “Scott, did our talk the other day stir up stuff?”
“Oh God no,” he said, “that didn’t at all. It was the invitation.”
I was clueless. “What invitation?”
“Our parents were invited to come to the studio,” he said.
“Do what?” This was news to me.
“Yep, four sets of parents this week, and four the next. Didn’t you hear?”
“Uh, duh, no,” I snorted. I got serious again and asked “Is he coming?” referring to Frank.
“Probably. He’d never miss an opportunity to fuck something up. Especially if it involves me.”
I stood there watching him. “You know, I’m really tempted to say something smart-ass right now.”
That got a half grin. “Really.” He replied.
“Sorry,” I said. “You know, I know why I do it.”
“Why you do what,” he asked.
“Why I try to be so humorous. I used to say that it was because I wanted others to forget their pain. Ugg. What a drama queen,” I said rolling my eyes. He laughed at that. “I guess the real reason…Never mind.” I almost slipped and let someone in.
“What?”
“Nothing. Here you are about to see that animal and I’m going on about my nonsense.”
“Well,” he said smiling, “can you at lest tell me what the smart-ass thing was?”
I grinned and in my country voice said, “I was just gonna say why don’t we hire a buncha wranglers to just go and beat the shit outta him!”
He laughed at this. “Logan, please never stop being funny.” I smiled.
“I’m a funny guy,” I said making a goofy face. “Wanna finish our workout?”
He smiled at me. “Yeah. Then it’s hot tub city.”
“Oh yeah? You wanna get into the hot tub with a known ho-mo-sex-shul?” This time I used my redneck voice.
He laughed again. “As long as yer the ho-mo-sex-shul!”
“Hey, that’s a pretty good redneck,” I said.
“Oh, I’ve had years of practice.”
“Yeah, you are a bit red, ain’t ya.”
We finished our workout and got into the tub to relax a bit. “Sit on my lap?” I joked.
“Maybe later.” When he flashes that grin....hoofa!
The water felt great and after a few minutes Scott spoke up. “So that was our first fight, huh.”
I busted out laughing. “You’re such a tool!” I kidded.
He smiled and said (oh, wait—y’all will want to know where we’re sitting. At a comfortable “I’m not gay” distance – at least for Scott) “So what were you going to say earlier about making people laugh?”
“Oh, that. I don’t know,” shaking my head.
“Come on, Logan. I showed you mine now you show me yours.” There goes that killer smile.
“Bastard.” I turned to one of the nearest cameras and said to it, “He really didn’t show me anything at the park.” Well he died laughing at that. “If he had, we’d’a still been there!” He laughed even harder at that.
“Logan, I asked you a question.”
“I don’t know…the reason I’m always a smart-ass is because…well, how do I explain this.” I leaned down and put my face into the hot, bubbling water. I looked back up and Scott was just watching me. “In school there were so many people that I hung out with, but only at school. It seemed every weekend my friends would have plans, but they never included me. I didn’t quite get it. We always had fun in school as a group but I couldn’t tag along?” This always made me, well, sad. “It wasn’t like I thought that they thought I wasn’t good enough, but the fact that they didn’t even think to ask—it hurt a bit.”
“Did you ever say anything?” he asked.
“No. I woulda felt stupid, and whiney.” He nodded at this a bit. “I guess that over the years my goofiness became a sort of defense mechanism.” I put my face in the water again and blew more bubbles. I looked up at Scott. “This is easy,” I smiled sadly, “but at the same time, it ain’t.”
“How’s that?”
I blew air out of my nose and looked over his head into the city beyond. “Because I do what I do to keep people off of their toes.” He looked puzzled. “Well, if I make a joke to or about someone or something then I don’t have to be serious about what I say, and they can either take it or leave it, never knowing if I’m being a jerk or not.”
“So they don’t get to know the real you,” he said.
“You got it!” I smiled. But it wasn’t a happy smile.
“And what’s so bad about the real you?” he asked.
“Well, something must be wrong. I’m alone,” I said to him.