AUTHORS NOTE: If you like this story please let me know. It is my first submission but I have other stories and if this one turns out to be popular I may get the confidence to submit another. Thanks and enjoy.
The Reluctant Porn Star
I was so excited. A place of my own, albeit a shitty one room apartment in a not so nice neighbourhood but still, I was finally my own man. My life up to that point had been less then picture perfect. When I was 10 I was put into foster care. My Mother was too young when she had me and even though she tried her best she couldn't handle the responsibility of raising a child. She also had a problem with alcohol and after a four day bender in which she left me alone in our house social services came and took me away. I remember the court case. I remember the judge. I remember meeting with him and all the questions that, at the time I thought were strange and I remember the last time I saw my mother shortly after that. To the best of my knowledge she still has the alcohol problem and until she gets better I don't want her in my life. I am not bitter, time and some good therapy has gotten me over that, but I don't want to reopen the wounds that I worked so hard to heal. My Father is a mystery, I haven't a clue and my mother had no family that I knew of. The foster family that took me in after the trial were farm folk, good people, solid and stable, quite a shock to a 10 year old mind after the roller-coaster ride that was life with an alcoholic Mother. The only problem was, they were not loving people. Life on a small farm in the mid-west is not easy and they spent so much time working to keep the farm going that the problems of a mixed up little boy were not a priority. To them it was only important that they provide a roof over my head, 3 meals a day and discipline, lots and lots of discipline. When I hit puberty I had finally had enough. I ran away with a vague notion of finding my mother but was soon picked up and returned to them. We repeated this drama a number of times until finally social services removed me from the house when I was 16 and I was moved to a group home. One would think this was worse but it was what saved me. In the group room I got some help, a wonderful therapist who helped me work through the anger and resentment I had toward my Mother and later helped me come to terms with being gay. He was a friend and mentor and I owe him my life. With his help I made it through high school mostly unscathed and after graduation he helped me find an apartment in New York, the place I needed to be so I could realise my dream of becoming an actor.
Calling it an apartment was a little grandiose it really only aspired to apartment. It was basically one room with a tiny New York kitchen in one corner, a bathtub in the middle of the floor and a closet that contained a toilet and sink. Another charming feature was the group of homeless people and junkies who collected on the sidewalk outside the front doors, but it was rent controlled and thus affordable. I knew how hard it was to find anything at all in New York so I refused to be a pessimist; I made friends with the homeless, got an extra lock, bought a potted plant for the fire escape and called it home.
My first job was in a book store, it was called "One in Ten" and they specialised in Gay erotica, really it was less a book store then a porn shop but I have to say that my love life had never been better. So many guys came into the store and I was getting cruised all the time. I guess I am pretty good looking although its not something I think about all that much. Yuri the owner of the shop called me "apple cheeks" cause he said that with my blond hair, blue eyes and baby face, I looked wholesome. Good nutrition and hard work on the farm had given me a head start in the body department and with working out, a popular pastime in the group home, I had developed a pretty decent build, weighing in at a muscular 198lbs on my 6 foot frame. One guy I saw regularly was a distributer for one of the porn companies that supplied the store with videos. He had approached me on a few occasions about coming down to the companies offices to meet with one of their directors. He thought I would make a good porn actor. I had always turned him down, I am not a prude by any means but I was always conscious that one day if I was lucky and I did make it as an actor I wouldn't want some porn video I had made showing on the cover of the Enquirer. Every time he came in with a new load of videos he would offer and every time he did I turned him down, but he was a nice guy and never pressed me. It became a joke, our ritual. "When are you going to let me put that cute ass on camera?" he would yell over and laugh. It never failed to make me blush.
I had started making the rounds at agencies and casting offices but wasn't having much luck. I was one of thousands of pretty boy actors in New York and every where I went I met with brick walls. The only way to get an agent was for them to see you in something but I couldn't get into anything without an agent. It was a catch 22 so I continued to make calls, go to open auditions and hope to get lucky. I did know of one way that I could get an agent to see me act but it was out of my budget. Some acting classes would put together showcases. The students would present scenes from various plays and talent agents and casting directors would often go to some of the more prestigious ones to scout for new talent. My problem was that the tuition for the more prestigious ones cost more money then I could save working for years at the book store.
An actor friend of mine had managed to get into one of these places. In fact it was one of the best in the city and the instructor was renowned for having worked with some big named actors early in their careers. He told me I should come down and sit in on one of his classes, when it was finished, he said, he would introduce me to the instructor (he was sleeping with him) and see about arranging for an audition. I jumped at the chance. I had no idea how I was going to pay the tuition if I got in but I had to give it a shot. As I watched the class that night it occurred to me that I had so much to learn about acting, the students were working on truth exercises and I found what they were doing exciting and I wanted to be a part of it. Beyond getting seen by somebody important in a showcase I realised I needed the classes to grow as an actor. The Instructor was good, insightful, smart and a big flaming queen. It was obvious that he used his dick to pick a lot of his students cause the class was mostly men and they were the prettiest bunch of men I had yet seen in New York. Well, I thought I am not above using my looks to get what I want so I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt so that my biceps were nicely displayed, made sure my blond hair was carefully and charmingly tousled, flashed my toothiest grin and headed down to bewitch my way through the front door. It worked, he auditioned me that same night, (actually he auditioned my crotch which seemed to be the only place he was looking) and told me I could join the class right away. My excitement faded however when his assistant presented me with the registration forms and the tuition fee listed was more then I had thought. They had a monthly instalment plan but it was still way out of my league. In bed that night I tossed and turned trying to figure out a way I could swing it but no ideas were forth coming.
As luck would have it the next day at the bookstore was a new video delivery day and my friend the distributor gave me his usual pitch. This time I didn't blush. "How much?" I asked.
" For that ass, you could pull 500.00 at least." He smiled, obviously thinking that this was some new part of our game.
"For real, how much could I make and what exactly would I have to do?" My tone said I was serious and he quickly looked up at me and studied my face, "I need some money fast" I added. He looked at me as if he couldn't quite believe I was interested but he walked over to where I stood at the counter.
"Well how much money you make depends on what you would be willing to do," he said in a low voice, "some of the more specialised videos pay more. A straight suck and fuck will get you about 300.00." Upon hearing the words "suck and fuck" some of my resolve began to crumble. I had gotten my share of casual sex in the past but doing some guy I didn't know with a camera, lights and a director yelling cut in the same room freaked me out. I just couldn't see myself doing it. He continued to look at me quizzically.
"Is there anything else?" I asked, "I mean something that doesn't involve sex." He laughed and I blushed, yes it was a stupid question but I was desperate.
"This is a porn video we are talking about.. what else is there?" he said between laughs. I must have looked pathetic and miserable cause he stoped laughing. "Sorry kid, I'm not making fun. What about wrestling? You ever do any wrestling?"
"Some," I answered not sure what that had to do with the conversation, "in school"
"This friend of mine makes these wrestling videos, you know a couple of guys in speedo's wrestle each other and then jack off. The pay isn't as much, maybe 50 bucks a match but he might pay more when he see's you. Why don't you come down with me to his studio tonight and check it out." Now this idea had potential, 50 bucks wasn't much but I did have a couple hundred saved in the bank which would cover the deposit for the classes and if I made a couple of these videos a week I could pay off the balance of the tuition monthly. Jacking off with people watching was no big deal, like a circle jerk at scout camp and wrestling sounded like fun. I had loved wrestling in school and had been pretty good at it. My face brightened and I quickly agreed to meet him as soon as my shift finished at the book store.
The studio turned out to be the basement of a rundown office building not far from the store. There was a large mat covering one end of the room and mirrors on a couple of walls. My buddy was right and the video director offered me 75.00 a match after I stripped down to my briefs for him in his office. He had a couple of guys coming over to shoot a match that night and he told me I could stick around to watch if I wanted. I was curious so I did. I had an idea that it was going to be staged, like professional wrestling but was shocked when he simply turned the camera on and the two combatants went at each other. They were two huge body builders with thick necks, not my usual type but I have to admit that I was getting super turned on watching them roll around the mat together. One guy, a big Italian looking stud who went by the name of Blade was completely dominating his opponent. He got a couple of quick submission out of the guy with a bear hug and a body scissors and the look of pain on the poor losers face was real. They wrestled for about ten minutes when the one guy couldn't take anymore and gave in totally. The winner pulled off his speedos and the loser gave him a hand job then wacked himself off afterwards. By this time I was sporting a major hard on, I was ready to give this a try. We arranged for a session the next evening and another to follow a couple of days later.
Back at home I jerked off thinking about the two wrestlers, their hard bodies covered in sweat as they pushed and pulled at one another. I pictured the face of the loser when he was wrapped in the Italian guys massive thighs and he had to say "I give" before his opponent would release him. I kept picturing him with my thighs wrapped around his head. I guess I had always had this secret wrestling fantasy but had never tried it before. The next morning, after filling in the registration forms for the acting class and sending it off with a cheque for 200.00 dollars I went to the library and checked out some books on wrestling. I eagerly went over the photo illustrations, testing out holds and techniques on my pillow. It had been a few years since I had wrestled in school and I wanted to make sure I didn't get my ass kicked first time out. I got another boner as I studied the books and when the time came to head to the studio I was totally horny and looking forward to the match.
I was the first to arrive at the studio and the director showed me where I could change. He gave me a blue singlet to put on and told me not to wear anything underneath. I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection. The singlet was tight and the material stretched nicely over my muscles. I liked the way the straps came down the centre of my chest leaving my nipples exposed. I was still sporting a hard on and I tried to arrange my cock inside the tight fabric of the singlet so that it wasn't so noticeable but it didn't work and the outline of my dick was clearly visible, Oh well, I thought, it is a porn video. When I left the bathroom my opponent had arrived and my jaw just about hit the floor when I saw him. He was without question one of the hottest guys I had ever seen. He was about my age I guessed and close to my height and weight. He had dark hair, cut short, nice brown eyes and killer face. I thought I was handsome but this guy was a god. He looked like he belonged in a frat house more then on the set of a gay wrestling video but I wasn't about to suggest he leave. He noticed me enter the room and immediately I could see him sizing me up. When his eyes reached the obvious bulge in my singlet he flashed a wicked grin that gave him dimples and I could feel my cock stiffen even more with the sight. He was dressed in a t-shirt that pulled nicely across his chest, blue tear away sweat pants and wrestling shoes. "Hi" he said in a deep voice and I said a quick prayer of thanks that he didn't sound like Richard Simmons with a lisp. "I'm Justin" he continued as he reached out his hand and headed toward me.
"Sean" I replied as I grasped his hand and we shook. He squeeze a bit too hard, trying to intimidate me with his strength, after all we were about to wrestle but I held firm and didn't let it register on my face. I was no wimp.
"Okay guys here is the set up" the director put in interrupting our macho posturing, "Sean your on the mat doing some push up, sit ups whatever, Justin you enter, you want to know what he's doing on your mats.. You argue, flex, yadda yadda, a little pushing then Justin you rip off your shirt and you wrestle. I need about 10 minutes of film so don't go too hard to start. I don't want anybody to give in too soon so make it last, oh yeah and at some point get the pants off and Sean take your straps down. After you jack off and we are done. Any questions?"
"Shoes?" I asked
"Oh yeah, check the box in the corner. We go in five minutes." the director answered and went back to adjusting lights. Justin followed me over to the corner as I rummaged through the box of wrestling shoes looking for size elevens.
"So you ever done this before" he asked me.
"What, look for shoes?".
"Wrestle on film? He answered smirking at my smart ass reply, " I don't think I've seen you around before."
"No this is my first time." I answered as I found a pair of beat up white tigers and began to lace them up.
"A rookie," he smiled, "excellent. Don't worry I'll take it easy on ya. " the wide grin and dimples made him look boyish.
"Don't hold back on my account dude." I kidded, " I want to enjoy it when I kick your ass.
"All right, this should be a good match."
"Hey. Listen, I didn't realise there was a plot to this thing, do you know what your going to say?" I asked. That part had surprised me, my actor instincts were working overtime trying to come up with character motivation and back story.
"Don't sweat it, just follow my lead and remember the cockier the better." He said as he began to do some stretches.
"I take it you've done this a lot?" I asked.
"No not really, Your only my third one. I work mostly as a print model, but that gets kinda boring you know. This guy I was know brought me down here a while ago cause he was making one and it looked like fun so I gave it a try. "
"And is it?" I asked, "fun I mean."
"Depends on the opponent" he smiled wickedly and let his eyes rest on my crotch.
Fun, yes this was certainly going to be fun. A couple of minutes later the director had finished the set up and called us over to the mat. I started to get a little nervous as he went through the scenario one more time and picked up his camera. My first film was all I could think as I took my place on the mat and started doing push ups. The nerves had accomplished one thing my hard on was gone. I did about 20 push up then the director motioned for me to stand up face the mirrors and flex, I did a couple of biceps poses, flexed my triceps and pecs, My stomach rolled over with the nerves. I could see Justin standing just out of camera range smiling broadly and checking out my body as I pumped my muscles, he was obviously enjoying my little show. I had been around hot guys before, even slept with a few but something about Justin really had me going. The director gave Justin the signal and he walked into the camera frame and stood behind me. "Hey cocksucker, what are you doing here?" he snarled. Just remember, cocky, I thought as I turned to face him.
"What's it to ya dickhead?" Not bad, a little shaky on the delivery but okay.
"These are my mats, nobody goes on them without my permission and I don't remember giving you my permission." He jabbed his finger into my chest catching me off guard and making me take a step back.
"The only permission I need is right here dude." and I raised my arms into a double biceps pose. Justin smiled and shook his head then shoved me hard, I was ready for it this time and braced myself so that I didn't have to take a step back. I reached up grabbing his t-shirt at the neck line and yanked ripping it open leaving his chest completely exposed. "Let's see what you got mother fucker" I growled. A momentary look of shock spread across his face, he wasn't expecting that and I turned my head slightly away from the camera and winked at him. He turned as well and winked back. He pulled off the remaining bits of his shirt and pumped his arms into a double biceps pose that was truly spectacular.
"Your in for it now dude, I'm going to kick your ass good" he said as I matched his pose. We stood nose to nose, pumping our arms, two evenly matched studs. I felt my cock stiffening again as the nerves melted away and my heart began to beat harder with the anticipation of rolling around on the mat with this guy. His grin faded as he lunged for me and gripped me with one hand behind the back of my neck and one hand on my shoulder. Collar and Elbow I thought as I did the same, straining and pulling trying to get him off balance. With a hard shove he pushed me off and we each took a step back. We straightened up and began to circle. The play acting was over this was serious wrestling and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he really wanted to beat me. Not without a fight I thought as I moved in toward him and we locked up again. As I reached for his neck he dropped to one knee and wrapped both his arms around my waist, in one quick motion he stood up lifting me off the ground and tightened his grip forcing the air out of my lungs. I was further winded as he tilted slightly and slammed me down onto the mat landing with full force on top of me. Faster then I could react he moved to a sitting position on my chest and flexed his arms. "How's that for a start dude" he taunted "you think you can take this." I bucked and bridged knocking him off balance as I rolled out from under him. We both quickly scrambled to our feet. With a pull Justin released the snaps on his pants and kicked them off. Underneath he had on baby blue square cut briefs with a yellow strip down each side. >From the bulge in his crotch he obviously had a good sized dick and I thought about after the match and what I planned to do to it. He was on me again and I tried to concentrate, we ended up on the mat again, me on my stomach and him slightly behind and beside me. He reached around with one of his arms and wrapped his hand over my mouth and chin. I could feel his biceps hard against my ear as his other arm reached down, grabbed my ankle and pulled up. He held firm to my chin controlling my head as he lifted up on my leg stretching me out along my upper thigh and abs. I grunted with the strain and struggled to break his hold, this wasn't going well. Only a couple of minutes in and he was completely dominating me. I grabbed at the wrist holding my face and pulled breaking his lock on my head and slid forward trying to get out of his reach. He released my leg and I felt him sit on the small of my back. Both his arms wrapped around my chin neck and he leaned back forcing my head up and bending my spine in a way it was not meant to bend. I let out a groan as the pain along my back intensified the further he leaned back. I tried to relieve some of the pressure by going up on my elbows but it didn't help. Nothing in the books I had looked at told me how to break this hold but I was determined not to give it. I could hear Justin grunting as he pulled harder. "Tap out buddy, your done." he growled as my face twisted with the agony of the hold. I fought it for a couple of seconds longer but eventually I couldn't stand it and had to say I give. Justin broke the hold and rolled off me. I lay on the mat for a few seconds before I stood up. We were both sweating, Justin's hair was plastered to his forehead and our breathing was hard. No question about it this was real. I remembered what the director had said and I removed the straps of my singlet, letting them fall to my sides. We started the second round again locking up in the traditional collar and elbow, I was determined to make a better showing this time and I was on guard for his bear hug takedown move. I managed to get him into a side head lock, my hands tightly locked in a wrestlers grip and his head firmly wedged into my arm pit. He wrapped his arms around my waist and managed to pull me over onto the mat but I held onto the headlock. He lay on his side with me in a sitting position, my back resting against his chest. He placed a hand under my chin and began to push up trying to break my hold. Eventually I had to release his head but I made sure to crank on it hard before letting go, hoping to weaken him a little. For the next minute or two we grappled on the mat, nobody getting a clear advantage. Arms and legs entwined we rolled around, at one point I ended up on my back with his legs wrapped around my upper arm as he attempted to lock on an arm bar but I managed to power out before he could secure his hold on my wrist. We wrestled on the mat again until I ended up behind him. I reached around his shoulder and grabbed the wrist of his opposite hand as I slipped my other hand under the arm I was controlling and around the back of his neck in a half nelson. This was called a cross face chicken wing and I felt him tense as I locked it. My grip on his wrist was solid and I pushed down on his neck as I pulled up on his arm. He writhed and struggled under me but I held on and it wasn't long before he tapped the mat with his free hand and mumbled I give. I broke and stood up he flopped over on the mat and lay on his back panting. I don't know what possessed me but I couldn't resist, I placed a foot on his chest and flexed my biceps for the camera. Justin pushed my foot off and rolled away. We were both completely soaked with sweat by this point, we had been wrestling for 10 minutes hard. The next round saw three quick submissions, first I managed to get Justin in a head scissors like I had seen the Italian guy do. I locked my ankles with my thighs firmly pressing against his head and he tapped out before he blacked out. I thought I had him again when I locked in a waist scissors but Justin reached up and twisted my nipples forcing me to break the hold and before I knew it he had me tied up in a figure four leg lock that would have busted my knee if I hadn't given. With not much strength left we started the fifth round. It was a question of endurance. I managed to take Justin down with a fireman's carry but wasn't able to follow up with a hold of any great force, he easily broke my attempt at an ab stretch once on the mat. We exchanged a few more holds but I finally submitted when I ended up on my back with him sitting just behind me. My head resting on his crotch, his legs over my chest scissoring my head and his hands locked around one of my calves forcing my knee into my face. "You give yet." he yelled.
"I give" I mumbled feebly.
"I can't hear you?"
"I give, I give" I groaned. He released me and moved around till he was sitting on my chest, his knees resting on either side of my head and his crotch pressed firmly against my chin. He flexed his biceps again and said.
"That is why these are my mats punk." He reached down and grabbed the back of my head with both hands and pulled up forcing me to bury my face in his crotch. He wiggled around mashing his cock against me and I could feel him starting to get hard. My own dick responded as without thinking about the camera or the director I opened my mouth and licked the outline of his cock through the tight material of his shorts. He moaned and I reached up and placed my hands on his firm chest. I pulled at his nipples playfully as he ground his crotch into my hungry mouth. He slid back along my stomach until he was lying directly on top of mer. Our cock's strained in our shorts as he placed his mouth on mine and I felt his tongue move around mine. I arched my back and raised my hips forcing our crotches tighter together and I reached down and place my hands on his firm ass. He raised his head and smiled, "To the victor," and he quickly stood up and pulled his shorts off. His cock was thick and the tip glistened with precum as he lied back down on me, this time with his head in my crotch and his dick in my eager mouth. As I wrapped my lips around his shaft I felt him pull my singlet down and the warm wetness as he took my cock into his mouth. I sucked hard on his dick, stopping only to give his balls some much needed attention. He moaned with pleasure as I ran my tongue along the thick vein at the base of his dick. It wasn't long before I felt him exploded in my mouth and I swallowed his hot, salty cum. I came shortly after and he took my lode in one swallow. He moved back to face me and we kissed again, the taste of my own cum still in his mouth. It was only then that I remembered the camera and I looked up to see the director starring at us with his mouth wide open. He realised we were both staring at him and he managed to collect himself enough say "you only needed to jerk off, I ain't paying you any more." Both Justin and I doubled up laughing, getting paid for what we had just done seemed ridiculous anyhow. It seemed to make more sense to pay him.
Justin and I went for a beer after. We talked most of the night, then went back to my place for a rematch. I wrestled again a couple of nights later (that one I won) and Justin came to watch. We started seeing each other on a regular basis and when the video came out featuring our wrestling match I presented him with an autographed copy. It turned out to be big seller and we ended up taping a rematch a couple of months later due to overwhelming demand from the customers. Two months later Justin got a contract with a major modelling agency so he stopped making the wrestling videos. I attended my class, taped a few more matches (jerk off only), did my showcase and managed to get an agent.
Justin and I moved in together shortly after that. His modelling career has really taken off and I started getting some real acting work, even a off Broadway play that got reviewed in the New York Times. We joke about making some more videos, Justin keeps trying to get me to do a tag team one and every so often we pull out the tape of our first match and watch it. If the videos I made ever do show up on Entertainment Tonight I will deal with it, without them I wouldn't have met Justin and I can't imagine my life without him.