This is the third chapter of "The Player." Thanks for those who have read the last two chapters and sent me comments and suggestions. Chapter 4 will come up soon.
Note: In soccer, striker = forward. It is the front player who has the ability to kick balls to score the goals.
Chapter 4: Awake
1
"What's wrong with me?"
"What's wrong with me?"
"What's wrong with me?"
Dan screamed angrily at himself while taking the shower. He has been acting weird recently. And the wet dream this morning was the worst one of all.
It was just a dream.
A wet dream.
About Jack?
"I'm not gay. Why did I have such a dream?" Dan talked loudly while rinsing his body. "Beside, I have a girlfriend. Jenny is the best thing that has ever happened to me."
Dan remembered running after her yesterday:
"Jenny. I didn't mean to yell at you,"
"Why did you do that, Dan?" Jenny looked upset.
"Because..." Dan stopped and thought to himself: "Really, why did I yell at her?"
"Because I talked to Jack the way I did? You know, Bill, I was just playing with him. I love you, sweetie." Jenny looked at Dan intensively.
"I know. I love you too." Dan held her hands. "I guess I was upset because I thought you were flirting with Jack. Plus, I was insecure..."
"Insecure? Why?" A surprised look appeared on her face.
"I mean...there I was, with you," Dan was choosing his words to continue, "but you told Jack he was gorgeous and everything. I wanted to be the one who is gorgeous in your eyes...babe."
Jenny hugged him and sighed: "Oh Dan. You are the cutest guy in the world. I'm saying this not because you're my boyfriend..."
"Only cute? He's gorgeous and I'm cute?" Dan pretended to look angry.
"You two are different baby." Jenny explained.
The soccer player was curious: "How?"
His girlfriend looked into his eyes: "You are cute, but you look good enough to eat. You're tall, dark and handsome. Your eyes are so bright. Your smile took my breath away. Your mind showered me with knowledge. All that, and you have a beautiful body."
"Not as big and beautiful as Jack's." Dan said unconsciously.
"Yes, he's big and muscular. But he's gay." Jenny sighed.
"What?" Dan was shocked.
"You don't know? Oh, I forgot. You're a guy. Guys don't know anything unless it is obvious in their faces. Girls know everything," explained Jenny.
"How do you know? Don't tell me because it was in your sixth sense." Dan asked.
"He's shy. He's neat. He's muscular. All in all, he's gorgeous. Straight men aren't supposed to be that gorgeous." she explained simply as if it was a fact.
"You and your logical explanation." Dan smiled in disbelief.
"You don't believe me? Go ask him. I bet Jack got a crush on you."
Jenny was playing with Dan's hands; she didn't pay attention to her boyfriend who was blushing uncontrollably. To cover his embarrassment, Jack changed the subject:
"So you're not mad at me anymore?"
"You're too cute for anyone to be mad at you for a long time. I forgive you." Jenny pouted her lips. "Kiss me."
The soccer player took her in his arms and planted a soft kiss on her lips. His mind went elsewhere: "Jack's gay..."
Ring-ring.
Ring-ring.
Dan came back from the memory and exclaimed: "What's now?"
It was the phone ringing.
His damn phone.
"Dan, I'm waiting down here at the service desk inside the dorm. Come down here buddy." Bill talked in his breath over the phone.
"Umm...I'm getting down there in a second. I have to get dress." Dan said and put on his white T-shirt and shorts. He came down from his dorm room and great a smiling Bill:
"Hello Bill."
"Are you okay Dan?" Bill was surprised to see Dan looking depressed.
"I'm not okay. I just had a wet dream in which Jack and I made passionate love on my bed." Dan thought to himself.
"Dan, are you okay? Bill repeated his question.
"I'm fine, Bill. Why do you ask?"
"Don't lie to me buddy. I know you too well to know when you're lying." Bill was unconvinced.
"Um...I got some issue. But I think I will be okay."
"What is it?" Bill concerned.
"I don't want to talk about it now." Dan sighed and looked away.
"You can tell me anything, you know?" His best friend was not letting it go.
"Not now, Billy."
"Okay, but promise me you'll tell me later." Bill gave up.
"I promise." Dan said and walked to his class.
2
"Welcome to the soccer try-out today, folks." Coach Nelson delivered his speech in front of thirty-three eager-eye-wannabe-soccer-players. "As you have known by now, our team will compete with the Texas Southern University team three weeks from tomorrow. Then, we will play against the Texas A&M and the Rice University soccer teams two and four weeks after that. Those games are regional. We have to win at least two games out of three to be qualified in the state competition..."
Coach Nelson went on with his speech while Dan was thinking about his wet dream. He couldn't get those images out of his mind. He knew it was just a dream, but he was obsessed about it. Dan told himself he was not gay and this phrase would pass if he'd forget it. He believed his attraction toward Jack was nothing sexual.
"I just want to be friend with Jack, that's all. I want to know why he was so shy and mysterious. I want...no...I am not attracted to a guy."
"We're all here today for the try-out folks." Coach Nelson continued. "There are thirty-three of you who will compete for the twenty-two spots in the team. Only eleven players can play in the next three games. The other eleven folks will be in substitutions. They will have their chances to play if our main players are injured."
Dan was daydreaming again. He thought he was straight because he'd never had a sexual attraction to a guy before. Dan has many guy friends. He played sports with them all the time. His teammates always joked about gay stuff when they were in the locker room, but Dan never paid attention to their comments. He showered with them everyday, and nothing had happened. He never looked at a guy's member and got a hard-on.
The coach continued his lecture: "Some of you had known my coaching style. I tend to be rough when it'd be necessary. I want no sissy in my team. My motor: Be tough. Be ready. And show me no fear."
Dan thought about Jenny and smiled. Yes, he was straight. He loved Jenny dearly. She was his high school sweetheart. Although they have been dating for four years, they haven't had sex yet. Dan adored his girlfriend. His family loved her...
The coach's voice went softer: "Enough of the 'be strong' speech. Now, let me explain about the team's structure. We will play under a 4-4-2 format. That means one goalkeeper, four defenders, four midfielders, and two strikers. This tactical format has brought the Cougar team into the state conference's final game last year. I want to use it again until we can find out another better format."
Our soccer player was still in denial. He didn't absorb much of what the coach was saying. His mind went elsewhere.
"We'll have two try-outs before our first game. I will look at both of these try-outs and decide who will make the final team. Today I am going to divide thirty-three of you into three teams: A, B, and C..." Coach Nelson stopped and looked at his players.
"'A' will play against 'B', 'B' against 'C', and then 'A' against 'C'. Each game is about 30 minutes. Each team will have equal numbers of players under a 4-4-2 format. The best players in each position will be in the final team. Remember guys, both try-outs count. Do your best, folks." The coach talked in his authoritative voice. "Now, I will call out names in each position for team 'A' first."
"Lance Campbell: goalkeeper."
Dan was in dreamland again. Everything happened around him was just a blur.
"Last one on team "B': Dan Nguyen: striker."
"Dan, you're on team B" A guy shook his shoulders and whispered to him.
"What?" Dan came back to earth.
"You're on team B dude." The guy repeated his sentence.
"Thanks, Eric. What team are you on?" Dan asked uninterestedly.
"Team A dude. We'll play against each other." Eric said enthusiastically. Eric Lopez was a talented striker. He always made the final team.
Dan said nothing. He came down to the field and stretched out.
"Ready guys? Well, let's do it." Coach Nelson yelled out.
The game started in a Cougar's traditional style. It actually was better than most game. Every player was doing their best jobs to prove that they were the best players in the try-out. They played with their maximum strengths and abilities. Nobody made mistakes.
Except Dan.
Our favorite striker's heart and soul have gone out of the game for the longest time now. He ran along the field purposelessly. He just ran from one side to another without the ball on his feet. Nobody could make eye contact to him. His teammate couldn't pass the ball to his side. The best striker has lost his usual touch.
The second game between team B and C was no better for Dan. He made lots of strange mistakes. This time, Dan could get the ball to his feet, but he couldn't control it for the necessity of scoring a goal. He ran into his opponents many times, which made him fall down to the grass. He even got warnings from the coach when he started playing violently.
The best striker of the Cougar soccer team became the worst player in the today's try-out.
3
Dan skipped the shower after his games. He walked out of the soccer stadium in exhaustion.
"Dan, come here." A familiar voice called out to him.
The soccer player looked up to see Bill, Jenny and Jack standing at the corner outside the gym.
"Hi guys," that was all Dan could say.
"Dan, how are you man?" Bill asked his best friend in concern, knowing that Dan was not in the mood to talk.
"Sweetie..." Jenny came to Dan's side, pulling him close to her.
"I'm...I'm not feeling well. Damn, I screwed up" Dan said and looked down to his feet.
"Danny, why are you so down today? Want talk about it?" Jenny said, still hugging him.
"I'm just sick. That's all." Dan said in a low voice.
"Do you want to go to the clinic?" Jack asked in concern.
Dan looked up: "What the heck are you doing here? I don't want to talk to you, big guy." He looked at Jack angrily. This football player has made him miserable for many days. He didn't want to see him.
"Dan, let's go to the school's clinic." Jenny said and pulled her boyfriend along.
"Umm...I don't want to. I think I'll be okay after a nap. Dan pulled his hand back from Jenny's grip. "I'm going home..."
"Dan, hold on. I have an idea." Bill talked in an excited voice.
"What, Bill?" Dan raised his voice.
"You can go back to the dorm for a nap. But, tonight, you, Jenny, Jack and I should go out for a movie. You need a break."
Dan thought for a while. "Okay, I do need a break."
"Good, what do you guys think?" Bill asked Jack and Jenny.
"Sure." Jenny said absent-mindedly. Then, she turned to her boyfriend with concern, "Dan, you look so pale."
"How about you Jack?" Billed asked the football player.
"I...I can't. Jack blushed.
"You have to go with us or I'll kick your butt." Bill said, half seriously.
"I don't know you guys that well..." The football player was feeling uncomfortable.
"I don't care how long we've known you. We're all Dan's friends, dude. Beside, I need a date." Bill smirked.
"Huh?" Jack's face went red.
"I'm kidding, big guy. I want to cheer Dan up, but I don't want to be a third-wheel. So, you're invited." Bill explained.
"Okay..."
In the corner of the gym, Jenny was comforting a very drained and exhaustive Dan. The soccer player hugged his girlfriend in an attempt to forget his trouble thought. He kissed her for all he was worth of. He wanted to prove to himself that he loved Jenny.
"I'm not gay. I love Jenny so much." He sighed out happily. "I'm not attracted to Jack anymore."
"Hello, um...get a room, guys." Bill's voice cut off the lovely moment.
"Oh sorry..." They both said.
"Okay, now Dan, go home, take a nap. We'll go out for dinner and a movie tonight. Okay?" Bill said, then adding. "It's a double date."
"Double date?" Dan confused.
"You and Jenny, Jack and I." Bill laughed while looking devilishly at Jack.
"Oh, really?" Dan asked softy. Was he getting jealous?
"No, you goofball. I want Jack to go along 'cause I don't want to be a third wheel." Bill explained.
Jenny suddenly remembered something. "Guys, I'm sorry. I can't go out tonight. I have to visit my cousin in the hospital. My aunt will kill me if I don't go..."
"I need you babe." Dan was whining.
"I know sweetie." Jenny kissed him on the cheek. "We'll do something tomorrow, okay? Do your guy-night-out thing tonight. Be drunk. Be spontaneous. I don't care. Just have fun." Jenny said.
"We men will have fun tonight, right Dan? Right Jack?" Bill said enthusiastically.
"Right." The two players said in unison. They were thinking about something else.
4
After the long nap in the afternoon, Dan was feeling better. He got into the shower, taking time to wash himself. The hot stream washed away his dirt; it was caressing his slim body and massaging his torn muscle. He felt relaxed.
The soccer player looked at himself in the mirror. He was not pleased with what he saw. He looked young for his age, nineteen, but he thought he was too normal looking. His eyes were big with long and curved eyelashes. His nose was short and pointed out. When he smiled, the dimples appeared nicely on his small oval face.
"I looked like a girl." Dan hated to admit it, but his friends have told him the same thing for many years. He looked too soft and girlish. His skin was so smooth it made girls envy. His teeth were pearly white.
After dressing up comfortably for the evening, Dan drove to Bill's place at 8:00 P.M. Then, they came to Jack's apartment to pick him up.
When Jack came out to answer the door, Dan's breath suddenly became shallow. He couldn't breathe right in the sight of this beautiful god. Jack was wearing his casual clothes, nothing fancy, but they were deadly fashionable. His gray wool sweater stuck to his body like a second skin. The black cargo pants were fit him nicely. The guy had good taste.
After the social greeting and talking in no particular topic, they went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Three good-looking guys in their nice clothes walked into the restaurant confidently. They've looked handsome as ever. Some people glanced at them discreetly; some just openly stared without blinking their eyes. A few teenage girls were giggling when they walked pass their tables. They made quite an appearance.
Bill had to leave ten minutes after the meal. There was an emergency shortage of people at his work. Bill was a part-time fireman at a local fire station; he always got emergency calls from work. He couldn't say 'no' to his job; they needed him.
"I just take a cab to get there." Bill said and left.
The comfortable moment between the two players has gone since Bill left. Now, they were in awkward silence. To make the matter worse, Dan couldn't take his eyes off of the football player. He couldn't control his wandering eyes. He looked at Jack's handsome face, mesmerizing every detail. The soccer player was shaking uncontrollably; he felt guilty for his action.
"Dan, what is your favorite movie?" Jack suddenly looked up and asked Dan out of nowhere.
"Um...Forest Gump." Dan answered in embarrassment. He loved this movie, but he was ashamed to admit it.
"For real? It was my favorite too." Jack said in disbelief.
Then, they talked excitedly about their favorite movie. The topic changed from famous catch phrase like "stupid is as stupid does" to the acting of Tom Hanks. They told each other about their embarrassments when people asked what their favorites were. They laughed at themselves, thinking it through, and decided that it was stupid of them to be embarrassed about it. They loved the movie because it touched them. They didn't care what other people thought anymore.
Jack and Dan were talking nonstop. They laughed with one another. They told each other about themselves. Sometime, their hands even touched the other person's hands, their legs even slid against each other's legs. They touched each other by accidents, but Dan was shivering with excitement when those moments happened. He wanted them to last forever. He wanted to touch Jack's body with his own hands, not accidentally, but purposely.
They lost tract of time until the waiter came to their table to clean up. It was past midnight; the restaurant has closed a few minutes ago, but they were too into their conversation to know anything else.
They paid and left.
Dan drove Jack back to his apartment. When the car parked in front of Jack's place, they stopped dead in silence. What could they do next? After an awkward moment, Jack extended his hand out and shook the soccer player's hands: "I had fun tonight. Thanks Dan. See you later." He ran into his apartment, not looking back.
Dan sat there speechless. He thought about all the things they've talked to each other. He wanted to have more of them in the future. He wanted to be with Jack forever. He couldn't deny it anymore.
"Yep, I'm gay."
To be continued...
Chapter 4 "The Model" will come up soon. Chapter 5, a special Halloween chapter, will be posted one week after the Halloween. Happy Halloween folks.