This story is a work of FICTION. The events described are my own invention. Any similarities to actual events or persons are strictly coincidental. The author retains the copyright, and any other rights, to this original story. You may not publish it or any part of it without my explicit authorization.
This story contains depictions of consensual sexual acts between teenage males. It is intended for mature audiences only. If you find this type of material offensive or if you are under the legal age to read said material; please proceed no further.
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The Peace Within Chapter 16
One Year Later...
It's been a year since Patton died, I'm still here and I'm loving life. My wounds healed with time, as things do. I have pink scar tissue on my wrists now, my parents offered to get me plastic surgery to remove them, but I said no. These scars are a reminder of how close I came to giving up on life and all the things I would have missed out on. I kept them so that I would never forget how precious life is.
Dr. Kitridge helped me with his patience and understanding, Peter helped me with his personal experience, Marshall, mom, dad and Patrick helped me with their love and support. I'm free of Patton now, or rather, free of the guilt that came with his death. I'm free to remember the Patton I love, my twin brother, my playmate, my partner in crime, my soul mate. I see him every time I look in the mirror, I hear him every time I laugh, I laugh a lot now.
So many things have changed since I came home from the hospital. My parents know everything now, everything that happened when Patton died, everything that happened when Kevin visited, everything about my sexuality. Marshall was with me when I told them I was gay, mom and dad simply asked if we were in love, when I said yes, they hugged us both. Marshall and I are still together, we've done a lot of sexual experimenting, since the beginning, but there are a few things we have left to try.
I still see Peter at least once a week, we have coffee and just talk, sometimes Marshall and Tyler join us and that's always a lot of fun because the two blonds really hit it off. I don't know what it is about them but they seem to revel in giving us a hard time and the two of them together are lethal.
Perhaps one of the biggest changes is my new found love for baseball. I played little league, with Patton, when we were just boys but towards middle school, I got into soccer and thought that was where my athletic talent lie. I spent my summer going to all of Patrick's games and playing catch with him and our friends, in the backyard. Lee and Henry played with us a lot, they were on the varsity team with Patton, last year, and kept encouraging me to go out for the team. I brushed the idea aside at first but when tryouts started in the spring, I figured, what the hell, the worst that could happen is I don't make it.
I'm not the strongest batter but I'm a pretty fair fielder and I was thrilled when I made the junior varsity team. Most senior's would probably resent playing JV ball but I didn't care, I was just glad that I was going to get to play. I was also happy to know that I'd earned my place, I was a little worried that the coach had picked me because he'd always liked Patton and felt sorry for me, but he assured me that was not the case.
The nice thing about playing JV was that there wasn't as much pressure. I got to concentrate on enjoying the game and just having fun. I did get my shot at varsity though, each game, Coach Meyers picked a boy form the JV team to suit up with the big boys. When it was my turn, I was honored to wear Patton's old jersey, lucky number 11.
It was an unseasonably warm day for western Connecticut, I was waiting on deck, and I could feel sweat forming under the brim of my cap. I'd been out on the field for a few innings but didn't see much action and I was last in our batting order so my butt got very well acquainted with the bench. It had been a good game to this point, we were playing the New Haven Patriot's, it was the bottom of the 9th inning, the score was tied at 3-3, we had runners on first and second, two outs and Corey Jones was at bat. Like the rest of my teammates, I watched with baited breath and waited to see if this would be the pitch that won us the game.
The pitcher adjusted his cap then took his stance. He riffled a fastball across the plate and Corey found the sweet spot, sending the ball into outer space. I lost my train of thought while every eye in the stadium watched the ball as it arced across the sky. I was holding my breath, and let out an audible groan when the right fielder made an astounding leap and caught the ball. I was so caught up in the action that I forgot I was up next, it took Coach Meyers to snap me back to reality.
"Westergaard, come here a sec," said Coach Meyers.
Uh oh, I hadn't accounted for a situation like this. Bottom of the 9th, score tied, runners on first and second, two outs and me, Parker Westergaard, the JV fill in, weakest bat on the team, was heading to the plate. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach working overtime as I rested the bat against my shoulder and walked over to my coach. Coach Meyers met me halfway and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Nervous?" he asked.
"I think I'm gonna puke," I admitted.
"You can do this, Parker," said Coach, "this pitcher likes fastballs, he knows all he has to do is get you out and we go to the 10th inning, so count on him to throw his A game."
"That's not helping Coach," I replied.
"Look, you don't have to hit a grand slam, we just need one run, hit the ball and get Owens home," said Coach.
"I'll try my best," I promised.
"That's all I'm asking for son, go out there and get it done," said Coach.
I think the team sensed I was nervous because Lee McCarthy shouted some encouragement.
"Come on Prof, you got this," said Lee.
"Yeah, yeah man," echoed his brother Henry, "you can do it!"
That got the rest of the team going, they were all shouting and whooping it up. They were Patton's friends, he'd played with them for years and I didn't want to let them down but as I looked at them and understood that they were all behind me, I felt my stomach start to settle.
"Now batting for the Shelton Stallions, number 11, Parker Westergaard," came the announcer's voice over the PA.
The hometown crowed offered me the same cheers of support the rest of my team received and my stomach settled a little more, I felt they were all with me.
I stepped into the batter's box, knocked the dust off my cleats with my bat, then took my stance. The catcher flashed the pitcher a signal, he adjusted his cap again then threw a wicked fastball. I swung my bat and missed the ball by a mile.
"Strike one!" shouted the umpire.
Ok, that was a bad pitch, you shouldn't have swung at that, settle down, I told myself.
I took my stance again, the pitcher took his and riffled another ball across the plate. I thought I saw the opening I was waiting for but missed again.
"Strike two!"
Come on, come on, get a grip, you can do this.
It was hot, I could feel sweat stinging my eyes, I took my batting helmet off and wiped my brow, then looked up into the stands. I'd been excited about this game, it was all I'd talked about for a week and because they knew how important it was to me, my friends and family had all shown up. Mom and dad were there, Patrick was sitting between them and they'd picked up grandpa. Marshall had a soccer game that day, he arrived after the 6th inning and sat there in his jersey and shorts, he hadn't even taken the time to change. Darren was there, he was sitting with Noah who managed to drive up from Stamford, they sat with Peter, who had come over from New Haven. Kelsey watched with the rest of the cheerleaders and Lee and Henry were, of course, in the dugout.
Everyone I loved was there, but it was grandpa's eyes I locked on. He flashed me a thumbs up and I could read his lips as he said, "you can do it, Sunny Jim."
I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my friends and family and that's when it happened. I put my helmet back on and turned back to the pitcher, a soft breeze blew across the field and I felt it's soothing coolness wash over my face. Patton's voice rang out, loud and clear in my mind.
"Choke up on the bat a little, relax your shoulders. He's thrown two fastballs now, he thinks he's got you whipped, now take this clown to school," said Patton.
I took comfort in knowing that Patton was there, watching over me when I was scared, just like he'd always done. I took a deep breath and followed his instructions.
The pitch came as if it was in slow motion, I was focused on the ball and when I heard the distinctive crack of wood on leather, I knew it was a solid hit. I stood there for a moment, my jaw hanging open as the ball streaked across the sky, I'd never hit like that in my life, it was like the ball had been fired from a cannon. I couldn't believe it when it cleared the fence! It took Coach Meyer to snap me out of the trance.
"Move your ass Westergaard, run boy, run!" he shouted in glee.
I shook my head and ran for first base, then second. I heard the crowd roar as Tyler Owens, broke the tie, then Brian Davies drove the score to 5-3. My heart was pounding as I rounded third base. I saw the left fielder, he looked pissed, the ball had missed his glove by mere centimeters, I didn't care, I sprinted towards home plate. The catcher stood there, there was nothing he could do to stop me as, I crossed the plate. The final score was 6-3, we won!
The crowd went wild, Coach Meyers and his assistant were hugging, jumping up and down and my teammates stormed the field.
"Dude! You did it, I can't believe it, you fucking did it," said Lee, as he bear hugged me and lifted me off my feet.
"Holy shit Prof!" Henry exclaimed, "Outta the park? That's my boy!"
The rest of the team was just as excited, the hugged me, patted me on the back, shook my hand, I felt like I was 10 feet tall.
When it was over, when the team settled down and the crowed started to disperse, I found my friends and family waiting for me.
"We're so proud of you," said Mom and Dad.
"That was awesome," Patrick exclaimed.
"Well done Sunny Jim, well done," said grandpa.
"I knew you could do it," smiled Marshall, then he kissed me on the cheek. We were out, we didn't care who saw, if they didn't like it, that was too bad.
"Good job, good job," Darren grinned.
"Wow, do you know what the odds are of getting a hit like that?" asked Noah, "I mean, especially with your batting average."
"Thanks for reminding me how bad I suck, Noah," I grinned.
"Any time," Noah winked, yeah, he's feeling much better.
"Best game I've ever seen," said Peter, he gave me one of his great hugs, "how do you feel?"
"Excited and kind of tired," I replied.
"Why don't we all head over to the steakhouse, this calls for a celebration," said Dad.
"Yeah, that would be great, I'm starved," I replied, "I just need to shower first."
We all agreed to meet at the steakhouse, then Marshall and I headed for the showers. He'd come to my game straight from his and as cute as I think he is in his uniform, he was hot, sweaty and stinky. In the locker room, I showered, then put on jeans and a t-shirt before I went to the coach's office to turn my jersey back in.
"Great job today, Westergaard," smiled Coach Meyers.
"Thanks Coach, I just stopped by to turn this in," I explained, handing him the jersey on a hanger.
"No, you keep it, I think lucky number 11 works for you," smiled Coach Meyers.
"Really?" I asked, excitedly.
"You earned it kid," said Coach, clapping me on the back.
"Thank you, thanks a lot," I smiled.
"Don't mention it," said Coach Meyers, "now get outta here, I have to lock up."
I was so excited, I took the jersey off the hanger and put it on over my t-shirt. Sure it was dirty and a little sweaty, but I was too proud of it to just hang it in the back of the car while I went out to dinner. When I walked out of the locker room, I found Marshall in the parking lot, waiting by the Volvo.
"I thought you had to turn that in?" said Marshall, gesturing at my jersey.
"I did, but Coach said I could keep it."
"Cool, it's cute on you," said Marshall, before he pecked me on the cheek, "God, I still can't get over that hit, it was amazing! You know, Patton would be so proud of you."
I stopped to think for a moment, I guess it was kind of amazing. I missed the first two pitches and Noah was right, based on my stats, I should have struck out. I thought back to when Patton and I were boys and grandpa dragged me to his game. Patton was at bat, he missed the first two pitches, then looked at me and winked, before he hit the third pitch and scored a home run. I'd felt Patton's presence in that stadium, I heard his voice coaching me and I couldn't help but smile, that little shit set me up!
"Yeah, I think he would be too," I grinned.
THE END