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Chapter 22
More than anything else, the thing that continually drew me to Eduardo Herrera was his gregarious nature. He was always looking at the positive side of things the way my brother Daryl used to do. Overall I think being around him makes me feel better about myself, but we do still have our differences, so that's why if I have to be honest with someone about who my best friend is, I have to tell them, Phil Johnson.
Eddie makes me feel good when I'm with him. Phil helps me to process life, especially when Eddie let's me down. I feel like I can tell him anything without him judging me. Besides the fact that he insists that he isn't ever gonna have a boyfriend, he is totally not like how I thought he was gonna be after I first got to know him – I mean after I found out he was a Christian. Instead of busting on me for doing stuff he chooses not to do, he just thinks about it for a while and then tries to help me see the benefits or, in most cases the harm in doing things the way I'd been doing them. It's almost like he's a genius when it comes to helping me see things I can't see on my own. He is totally not afraid to tell me how he sees things. I guess that's why he's been bustin' on me for like the last half-hour. All I did was tell him why I'd been missing so much school lately.
"I had this nasty intestinal thing going on," I told him.
"You eat some spoiled food, or something?"
I hadn't thought about him wanting to know, otherwise, I probably wouldn't have mentioned it.
"It was a parasite. I must've gotten it from Eddie."
"He cooks?"
"He didn't cook anything for me. He musta just had it, and then he gave it to me."
Phil looked confused. He's either incredibly ignorant about some things, or else he just pretends like he is. Anyway, I explained to him what the doctor told me, even though I'm not sure I believed him.
"When the test results came back, the first thing the doctor asked me was if I had been in the Tropics. When I told him I'd never been south of New Jersey, the next thing he asked me was if I had ever done certain things with anyone who might be active in the homosexual community.
"I was so embarrassed. I told him I'd never done anything like what he described, but I guess he didn't believe me because he just kept explaining things to me like I hadn't said anything to him. You ever heard of giardiasis?"
"No"
"It's a parasite that causes something called dysentery – which I totally didn't know what that was either. He said that's what I had."
"I'm confused. If you didn't eat something he made, how'd he give it to you?" Mr. Naïveté asked, apparently without thinking.
"Ah-h-h-h, you really want me to tell you?" He was so embarrassed even his ears turned red when he suddenly realized how I must have gotten the parasite.
Anyway, that's what started the lecture he was giving me about using protection every time Eddie and I did something. I didn't have the nerve to tell him that Eddied had also infected me with the herpes HSV-2 virus.
"So, you still letting Dillon rope you into going out with Bethany?" I asked, changing the subject to what I figured was safer ground. Phil's face immediately fell.
"I tried telling him I wasn't into it anymore but he just acted all upset and told me I was a wimp if I was giving up. When I told him I needed more time to work on school stuff, he told me he'd help me study. He's pretty smart, so I figured me acting stupid wasn't gonna work for very long. He must have known the real reason, because before he let me alone he told me if I wasn't going to go out with them anymore, he was going to tell Bethany's mom that I broke up with her because I'm gay. I'm not sure he'd actually do that, but I'm not really into taking chances."
Phil looked resigned to his fate, more than upset. I wagged my head at him, wishing again that I could personally be the answer to his dilemma.
"It's not like I don't like her," he added, noticing my staring at him. "It's just that I feel like she's expecting more from me than I have to give. I'm just not ready to think about committing my life to a permanent relationship; you know?"
"I feel you, bud."
"Alex," Phil asked quietly, like he wasn't sure he wanted to ask. "You happy? I mean, sometimes when I'm with Bethany, I wish I didn't believe in God so I could see if I really can be straight before I get to the point in my life where I have to choose whether or not to ask someone to marry me. Sometimes when I'm with her I think I can be straight, but then the next morning I wake up and realize it wasn't her I was dreaming about."
I looked around to see if anyone was watching. If I ever thought I had a clue what love was, having Phil show me how much he cared for me by screaming at me to play safe and then trusting me enough to share his deepest darkest secret made me think for a moment that that must be close to the truth of what it was.
He turned his head just enough so my lips landed on his cheek, but he didn't pull away. When I pulled back and licked my lips, I realized by the salty taste that a tear had run down his cheek.
We're getting close to the end of the story. Some of you have already weighed in with your thoughts on how the story will end. I'd love to tell you, but then you wouldn't need to read the final two chapters. I'd love to hear from you if you haven't already written, and if you have, then send me an update on your thoughts. Be blessed, and play safe. tyler