The nature of a truly desperate heart - Chapter 4 ***************
DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of pure fiction, any resemblance to real life and/or real person is coincidence. This story will include scenes involving sex between men and adult language. If you do not like, are offended by such things, are under age wherever you are reading this or it is illegal to read such material, then leave now, please.
This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission.
If you want to contact me with any comments, please do so at catbeat@outlook.com, but be aware that I may not answer or answer that soon.
You can also show your appreciation by making a donation to the Nifty archive. Go to http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
The nature of a truly desperate heart - Chapter 4
Thomas (Tommy)
When Joe, Tessa, and Mitch arrived I was so happy, Mitch came running to me and I hugged him for all I was worth, I loved my godson. When I looked up I say Matt looking at me, I couldn't read that look, but I liked it. I kissed and hugged Tessa and Joe, they were finally here, meeting my new home and my new friend and saviour.
Matt had helped me cook dinner, we were great in the kitchen together, he didn't stepped over me and always seemed to anticipate my next step, it was amazing the connection we had even only knowing each other for one week. He was at ease with Joe and Tessa too, when we finished dinner Tessa helped me clean the table while Matt and Joe talked and played with Mitch .
"You know he's in love with you, don't you?" Tessa asked while looking at me.
"What are you talking about?"
"Matt! He's in love with you!"
"No he's not, we only met a week ago."
"He is, I can tell."
"And exactly how can you tell this?"
"He looks at you the same way Joe looks at me."
"You're imagining things, we're just friends."
"Yea, sure, continue believing that."
Our conversation was interrupted by Matt, he came to tell Tessa that Joe wanted to leave, because Mitch was getting sleepy. We said our goodbyes, and Tessa and Joe promised to come back without Mitch to try the bar. I couldn't stop thinking about what Tessa said.
"Matt, we're just friends, right?" I looked at him and a sad look crossed his eyes, although he was smiling.
"Yes, friends. We are just friends."
I didn't believed him, in that moment I knew Tessa was right, he was in love with me. I didn't know how to react, I considered him a friend, in this week we spent together I never thought about us being more than friends, I was getting to know him, and I really liked him, but, could this be more than a friendship? I was so confused it hurt. He went home and after a shower I went to bed, but sleep eluded me that night, I couldn't stop thinking about all this.
Monday morning I went to work, I was tired for not sleeping and thinking too much, the day was busy so I didn't had time to think all that much. I went home and stopped at the entrance of the bar, I was dueling with myself about getting in or just go home. I wanted to see Matt, but I also wanted to be alone and think.
I decided to go home, I made dinner, ate, took a shower, watched TV, and when I went to bed I finally slept. I dreamed of Matt, it wasn't a erotic dream, but when I woke up I felt lighter, I needed to talk to him. I looked at the clock, it was only 6:30am, he was sleeping and I couldn't wake him up. I went to work and wished time was faster.
It was lunch time when my phone started buzzing, I smiled, I hoped it was Matt, when I looked at the caller ID I frowned, it was Allan.
"What do you want?"
"Tom, I was wrong, I can see that now, you were right, we need to be together, we don't need anyone else."
"Don't call me that you know I hate it. You know, you're the one who was right, there are better things and better people out there."
"Don't say that, I was wrong, I really was, you are the better for me, and me for you."
"Do you really feel that, or are you just missing the life I gave you?"
"I miss you Tom, I love you and want to be only with you."
"Don't call me that, you know I hate it."
"Tom, please. Tell me where you are and let's talk. I need you."
"Don't call me that, you know I hate it. We're done Allan, don't you get it, you wanted this, you asked for this, I fought it, I did. I spent nights thinking what I did wrong to not be perfect, and then it hit me, I wasn't perfect because you didn't want me to be, so I moved on."
"Tom, please. I understand now, you are perfect, we're perfect for each other."
"Don't call me that, you know I hate it. you know what, don't call me, at all."
I disconnected the call, I was relieved, I knew what I had to do, I knew where my life was.
The day finally ended at the firm and I went home, I never hated traffic so much as I did that day. I went straight to the bar, I spotted Matt and went to him.
"Can we talk in private?"
"Sure, let's go to the kitchen."
"No, this is really private, can we go upstairs?"
"Ok, let's go."
He looked unsure, he didn't know what I wanted, he also looked a bit annoyed, maybe it was because I didn't talk to him yesterday. When we were in his living room I wanted to talk, I wanted to ask him what he felt , I wanted to hear the words from his mouth, but I couldn't talk, I paced in front of him trying to find the right words, but they didn't came.
"So, what's so important you couldn't wait, and now won't say?"
I looked at him, gave a step forward and kissed him putting my arms around his neck and feeling him respond to the kiss and put his arms around my waist.
In that moment I knew I was also in loved with him, I felt at home, I felt that everything in the world was just right, I felt sparks going through me, and I didn't want this feelings to end.
Matt
I couldn't believe this, what was happening? Tommy says he need to talk, takes me away from the bar, stays silent in what seemed like hours, and then, instead of talking, he kisses me. Not that I'm complaining, it was a good surprise, but I didn't know what was happening, I didn't gave any hints that I wanted this, I tried to be just a plain old friend.
I didn't want this kiss to end, but I needed answers, I needed to know, so I stopped the kiss, I took a deep breath. Tommy was smiling, I looked in his eyes and saw only happiness.
"What just happened?" I asked afraid that he was going to pull back.
"A kiss."
"Ok, but what's behind this kiss? You said you had something urgent to talk to me about, but yet we didn't talk."
"I didn't said urgent, I said private. Did you want me to kiss you in the bar? I could if you wanted."
"No, I'm glad you didn't, I would probably love it, but privacy is always a plus. But can we talk now. I kind of need an explanation." I said sitting down on the couch, Tommy seating besides me. And he finally started talking.
"Sunday, while I was doing the dishes with Tessa, she said she thought you were in love with me, at first I shrugged off, but then I started thinking about the week we spent together, and the way you look at me. I asked you if we were just friends, and when you said yes I didn't believe. I didn't sleep that night thinking about you, about me, about us. Working on Monday was awful, I couldn't concentrate. When I came home I wanted to go to the bar and talk to you, but I was tired and confused, so I went upstairs, ate and fell asleep. I dreamed about you, I woke up and wanted to talk to you, but it was too early, so I went to work and was watching the clock tick. It was like I woke up seeing things brighter. I love you."
He finally stopped talking and looked down, I was smiling, I couldn't believe in what I was hearing, he loved me, and I loved him.
"I love you too. I did from the moment you came in my bar that very first night."
He finally looked up, he had tears in his eyes, but was smiling, when he put his hands on my face I felt I was crying too. We were both crying with happiness. We kissed again, his lips felt great in mine, it felt perfect, like they were made for each other.
But because all good things come to an end, my phone started buzzing, I hated the damn thing right about now. It was the bar, it was our rush hour, I need to go to the bar, although I didn't want to.
"Go work, I'll go change and meet you downstairs in 10 minutes." Tommy said getting up to leave, while smiling. He gave me another quick kiss and went to his apartment to change.
I went back downstairs, smiling like a fool, nothing could ruin my mood, the man I loved, loved me back. He joined me in the bar and helped serving tables, helped me in the counter, and helped in the kitchen, he was also smiling like a fool, and our good mood was well received by my employees and customers.
We worked the night away and at midnight, after send everyone home, we locked everything and went upstairs, I was nervous like if this was our first date, I didn't want him to go to his apartment, but I also didn't want to rush into sex, I wanted to date him, and have a meaningful relationship. We sat on the couch kissing.
"I don't want to go upstairs."
"Then don't, stay with me."
"But I have work in the morning, and all my clothes are upstairs."
"Then we can both go upstairs. I want to sleep with you, I don't mean have sex, just hold you and cuddle for the night."
"Ok, let's go then."
We went upstairs, and we each took a shower, separately, and met on his bedroom, we cuddled in bed, and we were soon asleep, it was the most gratifying sleep I had in years, time had stopped again. I heard his alarm go off, and felt him leave my embrace, I tried to stop him, but he kissed me and told me to stay asleep.
I woke up, looked at the clock and saw it was 9am. I got up knowing that he had already left for work, but later today I would be with him again. When I got to the kitchen there was a plate of pancakes in the table covered by a paper napkin, where he wrote "I love you.". That single plate of pancakes made my day almost perfect, it could only be better if Tommy was still at home.
I went to my apartment, took care of myself, got ready for the day and went on with work, I did the grocery shopping, I got things ready in the bar, had my usual meeting with the employees, but I couldn't stop thinking about Tommy, I was so happy I was afraid something bad would happen and mess my day. When I looked at my cellphone I had a text and a missed call, it was from Tommy, the text just said "since you're not picking up and I have court, I just wanted to tell you I love you."
I smiled again, I wanted to jump in excitement, but customers were arriving, I answered quickly "I love you more, sorry I didn't pick up, staff meeting. See you later, and good luck on court."
I got busy with work, when I looked at the clock it was already 7pm and Tommy hadn't shown up, surely his court case wouldn't take this long. I began to worry, I looked at my phone and I had no messages or calls. I got back to serving drinks and I heard my customers talking.
"Did you see that accident, things didn't look pretty, I highly doubt the guy in the gray car survived."
"Yea, I saw, the traffic was awful uptown because of it."
I felt numb, it couldn't be, Tommy had a gray car, and worked uptown. Why hasn't he arrived yet? Was he stuck in traffic? Why didn't he call? Was he the one in the accident?