THE MOST DIFFICULT CONTEST by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on December 2, 1993 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Acam
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"THE MOST DIFFICULT CONTEST" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 5 - Reason and heart
"But what... what are you saying?" The man asked, in turmoil and staring at him.
"That I am in love with you Robert. Since the first day I saw you - when I met you. I have done nothing but love you. That is why I was upset with you when I felt you were treating me unfairly. But then I understood. And I decided I had to show you my love by giving you what you desired above all - my victory."
"But you are in love with Claire as it is right for you to be. Your feeling for me is just affection..."
"No, Robert. Claire is nothing but a screen to hide the truth from everyone. Everybody has a girlfriend, and so... But I've always loved you and only you. If you cannot or don't want to love me I will understand. I will accept... but I love you Robert."
"But I'm a man..."
"And so am I. And I love a man - you."
"... and I'm an old man..."
"You are younger than any of us. And I love you to die for, Robert."
"It's senseless... two men... they cannot..."
"Really? Hasn't it ever happened before - even in our circle?"
"You know what would happen if such things occurred..."
"No, I know what would happen if it's discovered. But I also know that it doesn't always come to light. Have you never heard about two athletes, two boys, who were in love?"
Robert closed his eyes and nodded in assent "Yes... I know it happens... At times two boys can... can deceive themselves thinking they love each other... or possibly even really love each other. But as far as I know it has never happened between an athlete and his coach."
Jean Paul took his hand and asked, "Couldn't there be a first time?"
"Jean Paul, please... I'm married, I've four children..."
"I don't want to take anything away from you Robert. I would just like giving you something more... being yours."
Robert's hand trembled slightly but he didn't take it away from under that of the boy. "It would be a lie if I said that I don't appreciate your honesty and also your feeling but you are asking me something impossible Jean Paul."
"Robert I'm not asking anything. I'm just offering you my love."
"You are charging me with a really heavy burden..."
"No, Robert. If you feel nothing towards me there is no burden."
"The fact is Jean Paul... the fact is..." the man started to speak but his voice broke down.
He looked the boy in the eyes and Jean Paul read in those eyes a deep suffering but also an infinite tenderness. Robert slipped his hand away from under Jean-Paul's.
"The fact is that I am in love with you too! But there isn't room for this love in my life. There isn't; there couldn't be; there must not be..." Robert said with a sorrowful almost desperate voice.
Jean Paul was troubled by the intensity of the man's emotion.
"Why, Robert?" he asked sweetly almost in a whisper.
"Because... because I would have you completely for me but I wouldn't be able to be completely yours. I don't feel I could desert my wife or my children. Even though there is no love left for my wife, only affection... I can't throw away the twenty years of peaceful life that she gave me and that I gave her. When I was your age I fell in love with one of my colleagues, another athlete. But when he told he was falling in love with a girl and he was going to marry her and that therefore it was time to put an end to the physical aspect of our relationship... even though I felt a great pain I accepted it.
"I tried to convince myself and I gradually succeeded. I met Franoise. I felt comfortable with her. She aroused me physically, when we were flirting. So I married her. At first I even thought that my friend was right - everything was going well. But then my first perturbations, my earlier desires towards other men arose again. But they were not too strong. They were something I could quite easily manage to overcome. The more I felt attracted to a man the more I attached myself to Franoise. Well that is not totally correct... it is not true one hundred per cent but I could almost say that each one of the four children I have has been a reaction on my part to the relighting of my desire for a man...
"Then you appeared and suddenly and almost violently everything went back into the melting pot. Towards you my feelings were not the same. The feeling wasn't just that vague physical desire I had felt for others before you and that I had always been able to master easily. No. Towards you I felt revived love. I felt like the twenty-year-old boy I had once been - the boy that I believed was dead inside me and buried. A fresh sweet sentiment... and irrational.
"Nevertheless, as long as I thought it was only my problem - as long as I was sure you couldn't or didn't want to return my love I was able to keep it under control ... But now you come here and put this medal round my neck... almost like a wedding ring... and I feel lost. Torn to pieces. Half of myself would scream to you - yes! With joy, with gratitude, and with passion. But the other half of myself is screaming - no! with severity, with sense of duty, with determination. And my mind says no to me although my body beseeches me to say yes; my reason repeats a no and my heart wants a yes!
"Do you see? I love you Jean Paul but I cannot love you." the man concluded with a sob.
"Robert... I didn't think... I didn't want... if you ask me I will leave."
"Oh, Jean Paul! Let's try to remain coach and athlete as before, please, I beseech you... I know that I'm asking a huge sacrifice of you and I'm asking a huge sacrifice of myself... but for our own good let's forget this conversation."
"It won't be easy to forget it. But we can try. I don't want my love to trouble you so much. Anyway, I don't want to steal you from your family... I would content myself to... to share you with her. But the choice has to be yours. If you only feel that you would be happy, I'm ready to withdraw... or else to give myself to you, whichever you decide."
"Jean Paul, oh Jean Paul... by saying that you are making things even more difficult... and you are leading me into temptation."
"I cannot stop loving you."
"And neither can I unhappily. But... find a boyfriend and forget me. One of your own age, someone younger than me."
"You are not old."
"Not yet. But when you are a man in the fullness of maturity, I will be a really old man."
"I would like to grow old with you."
"Shut up, please. I'm already feeling weak enough in front of you..."
"I'm going now then, Robert. We will meet at tomorrow's training session. I will never again look for you in private..."
"I'm sorry, Jean Paul, but I thank you. I don't want to lose your friendship... and neither do I want to lose a splendid athlete such as you are. You really are a great champion..."
"You will not lose me, Robert. I swear that you will never lose me. Even if I could never be your lover I will always be your... athlete. See you soon Robert and forgive me for having troubled you so much."
Jean Paul left Robert's house and went back to his room at the family home where he was boarding. He was moved - he had got an unexpected yes and a feared no at the same time. The fact that Robert had just confessed that he loved him was making him almost euphoric; the fact that he had denied him any physical contact was making him sad. His love allowed him to understand what the man was feeling but his desire didn't allow him to understand his response.
"I love you, Robert... I will never desert you!" Jean Paul said to himself, determinedly.
When he met Claude he told him about his meeting with Robert and ended by saying "I'm sorry, Claude, but now that I know that he is in love with me too, I don't feel any more desire to have sex with you... or with anyone else."
"But he says he cannot get into a relationship with you..."
"I know but I don't care."
"Do you want to try to persuade him?"
"No, I don't want to cause him such trouble again. But at the same time I don't feel like having sex with anyone else any more at the moment."
"You cannot renounce your sexuality for ever Jean Paul!"
"Maybe I will fall in love with someone else and will then forget Robert... but for now that's how it is."
"You really are an incurable romantic, Jean Paul."
"Well maybe you are right but I'm happy this way."
"And yet we did amuse ourselves together."
"Yes we did, and it was marvellous. I loved doing it with you but now it's different. I'm not interested in amusing myself any more now. Try to understand me Claude."
"Yes, sure... even though I regret not doing it any more with you."
"Let's remain friends please; do you agree?"
"Of course. Even though at the end of a relationship one always says that but then..."
"But we can remain friends can't we?"
"Yes I think we can." Claude answered with a sincere smile.
Meanwhile Robert was deeply troubled. He tried not to show it, particularly at home, and he succeeded so well that he was almost angry that nobody noticed his trouble, even though he knew this feeling was irrational.
Training started again so he met Jean Paul practically every day again. The boy behaved correctly but now he was conscious of Jean Paul's feelings towards him - he could always read those feelings alive and strong in the boy's eyes and this kept his own trouble alive and strong inside him. He felt that his desire towards Jean Paul was strengthening and he was also physically aroused just by looking at him, just by being near him. He was making an effort to treat him exactly like all the other boys and he was apparently succeeding. But inside himself he could feel he was losing his battle.
He was feeling weaker and weaker. He was more and more obsessed by his passion for Jean Paul. He was now thinking of nothing but him and dreaming of him, almost obsessively desiring him.
On his side, Jean Paul was not conscious of the storm that was continuing to rage in the soul of his coach, that far from getting weaker, was strengthening more and more. In fact Robert was really skilled at hiding his feelings.
Jean Paul continued to give the best of himself - this was the only way he knew of telling Robert how much he was in love with him. Robert understood this too well, and it made him feel pleased and yet at the same time he suffered for it.
Two months elapsed and the time came for the "autumn camp". The whole decathlon team moved to Les Andelys. Jean Paul was sharing a room with Claude again even though the two youths didn't share the same bed any more.
The third day of training at Les Andelys, after supper, while all the others were going to play games or to the TV room, Jean Paul went out for a walk in the park. He was feeling somewhat tense. That afternoon in fact without having done it on purpose he found himself alone in the showers when Robert came in too. Robert, after greeting him with a nod, went and washed himself vigorously in the opposite corner of the showers as far as possible from Jean-Paul.
But every now and then they looked at each other. Jean Paul had not been able to stop himself from getting aroused at the sight of Robert's magnificent body and had noticed, between the man's legs, a similar excitement arousing Robert as a response to his. Thus the boy left the showers almost running and had dried himself, put on his clothes and went outside without delay. But he did nothing but think of that encounter all evening long.
So he was now feeling the need to be alone for a while in the half darkness of the evening surrounded by nature. He walked to a bench by the river where on the wide bend there was a belvedere with a balustrade. He leaned against the parapet and looked at the faint reflections of the moon on the dark waters.
"I desire you Robert!" he thought with sorrowful intensity.
He was there for some minutes still, alone when he heard the noise of a light step on the gravel. He turned round leaning his arse against the balustrade and his hands leaning back on it and looked with curiosity to see who might be the person approaching, thinking that maybe it was his friend Claude coming to look for him. But he soon recognized the unmistakable shape of Robert as he was getting close.
When they were close enough their eyes met almost as if they were magnetised. Jean Paul felt his heart starting to race and beat strongly in his chest. He waited and almost stopped breathing.
He confusedly thought: "You heard? I was calling you!"
The man stopped in front of him and stared at him silently looking into his eyes. He then stretched out a hand and lightly stroked his side and Jean Paul shuddered.
With a low warm voice Robert said in a murmur "I desire you, Jean Paul! I can't hold out any more... I... I surrender... I desire you too much and I love you."
Jean Paul was now trembling from head to toe and in spite of wanting to say something, he was not able to utter a single word.
Robert took a small step towards him and their bodies were now merely an arms length apart.
"Jean Paul... do you want to... to make love to me?" he asked in a whisper with a serious tight expression.
The young man only just managed to nod in assent.
"I know it's wrong, but..." the man said now caressing the boy's side and chest with tender gentleness, "... but I cannot hold out any more. I cannot think of anything but you night and day... I feel I'm going crazy... I want you Jean Paul."
"I am yours Robert, you know that, I am only yours."
"Yes I know. I love you Jean Paul."
"I love you too."
"Go down there... here we might be seen..." Robert said.
They went down one of the belvedere's two transverse stairways and reached the arches under the belvedere on the shore of the river where the racing boats were stored. And there under one of the arches finally their bodies met and clung to each other each searching for the other's hardness and their mouths met in a long, sweet deep kiss, while their strong arms were each circling the other in a tight embrace.
"Jean Paul, I love you, I really love you, I would like you to be my lover... And yet I don't feel like leaving Franoise or deserting my children... Do you accept me all the same?"
"Yes Robert. I will never ask you to renounce them for me you know that."
"That's not fair to you."
"Yes, Robert. I only want you to be happy."
"Today, in the showers... you ran away..." the man said and began to caress him intimately.
"I noticed you were troubled because of me and if I had stayed... I would have come to kiss you to touch you like this..."
"I wanted you to do that ... Do you want to come upstairs to my room?"
"We might be seen..."
"No, everybody is on the first floor..."
"But when I leave your room..."
"I will check nobody is in the corridor before you leave."
"I can't resist any more... let's go." Jean Paul murmured and his voice was hoarse with passion.
Nobody saw the two shadows silently glide between the trees and enter the mansion through one of the back doors and go upstairs by the lift to the third floor. The corridor was deserted and they quickly slipped into the coach's room.
As soon as they were in Robert locked the door. Then they embraced and kissed again. Their tongues searched for each other. Their lips were sucking each other, while each of them was starting to free the other from his tracksuit. Jean Paul crouched on the floor and slipped down the man's trousers and briefs with a single gesture that freed his beautiful hard straight member which was proudly jutting forward. It was long yet not excessively big but firm and sound, and it's swelling made a pulsating vein stand out.
"At last!" Jean Paul sighed.
He started to lick all along it, holding it and its testicles in his cupped hands. He then circled the tip of the man's member with his lips and squeezed them together a little and pushed forwards and so he unsheathed the smooth swollen glans which he then worked with his tongue. The man emitted a moan of pleasure, and ruffled the young man's hair.
"Oh, Jean Paul... come to bed... I want to suck yours too." he whispered.
They moved together and got on the bed having freed themselves of the last of their clothes. Jean Paul lay down on his back and Robert straddled on him on all fours so the two lovers could unite in a long sweet sixty-nine. Jan Paul could feel all the tenderness emanating from that beautiful body. It was so strong and so virile and just knowing that it was all for him sent him into rapture. This was the crowning of all his dreams, and he felt happier and more fulfilled than when he got his gold medal. He was feeling really grateful to the man for having accepted his love at last and for giving him love through his body too.
Robert too was experiencing a bliss he believed he had forgotten forever. He devoted himself, almost in adoration, to the young strong body that was being offered to him without reservations. A body he had contributed to shaping and to reaching the peak of fame but that he now wanted do bring to peaks of pleasure. That body he loved with a deep and total love, through which his soul was trying to melt with the beloved one's soul.
"I want you inside me, Jean Paul." the man murmured, moved by the intensity of his own desire.
"Yes... lie on your back." the young man said kneeling on the small bed.
Robert lay down on his back and pulled his legs against his chest so offering himself to his companion. Jean Paul, realising that Robert had not been used to penetration for twenty years, prepared him for a long time, bending down to lick him between his firm well spread buttocks. He carefully wet the pulsating sphincter with saliva, licking and massaging him using both his tongue and his fingertips. The man was moaning quietly, seized by an intense and growing pleasure.
"Enter me please..." he panted in a low voice.
"Yes, in a while... Do you like it my love?"
"Yes, it's just wonderful."
"Do you love me?"
"To die for!"
The young man felt he was ready. He knelt up again and steered his hard pole towards the waiting hole. He brushed on and around it with his smooth hard glans.
"Go on, take me..."
"Here I am..." Jean Paul said, starting to push with determination but in no hurry.
He felt the sphincters throb, shudder and then relax and start to open gradually to receive him tight and hot. He started to sink inside him with a slow but relentless push. He saw the man's face brighten and change to smile at him full of joy and pleasure. It was he who gave that joy to his beloved man, that pleasure which was not just physical and this made him happy.
"Oh, Jean Paul... how good it is! I can feel you inside me... you're becoming part of me... push... come all inside!"
"Yes, my love here I am... I'm all inside you can you feel it?"
"I was waiting for you forever Jean Paul! Even before I knew you existed. I was not complete without you."
"It's the same for me my love."
When he was inside him all the way to the hilt Jean Paul remained still for some seconds and caressed the man's chest and belly. He bent down to kiss his mouth and then straightened up again and started a slow but vigorous coming and going while, with his hands he began to caress his torso again.
"Do you like it love?" the man asked him in ecstasy.
"I'm so happy Robert. And you are my happiness." Jean Paul murmured moving with more determination inside his lover and contemplating his body folded as it was to receive him. "You are so beautiful Robert!" he panted and slowly accelerated his rhythm.
"You are beautiful too, love." Robert whispered enjoying their union.
"I'm yours forever." Jean Paul said and increased the vigour and speed of his strokes again.
"Forever my love." Robert panted feeling the pleasure increase dizzyingly both in himself and in his lover.
Jean Paul accelerated even more and felt he was reaching the peak of pleasure and then all of a sudden he gave to his lover all his virile seed, in long thick jets with a set of passionate lunges and shuddering from head to toe. He finally became still with just his member throbbing. Then he slowly slipped out of his man. Robert did begin to sit up, but Jean Paul gently stopped him.
"No, don't move my love. I want to impale myself on your wonderful dick now and feel all of it inside me... Stretch your legs right out... wait..." and Jean Paul got astride the man's hips.
He carefully wet his hole and then went down on his Robert's hard beautiful prick erect and vertical sitting on his groin. He felt it enter inside himself and make room for itself, gently invading him.
"Oh, yes... so... how good..." Jean Paul said in a murmur enjoying that solid pole that was finally slipping into him.
He made it all slip inside until his buttocks were hard pressed against Robert's pubes. Then, by levering himself up on his hands and knees he started to raise and lower his pelvis onto that strong fierce rod. Their smiling eyes were glued to each other. Robert caressed the beautiful torso of the young athlete who was proudly and happily towering over him and offering himself to him totally.
"Do you love me, Robert?" Jean Paul asked sweetly.
"Immensely."
"It's really good isn't it?"
"Wonderful."
Jean Paul went on with determination until he brought his man to orgasm. When he felt him tense like a crossbow spring ready to shoot he accelerated his rhythm and made his anus throb around the rod and when he felt it starting to erupt he let himself down against the man's groin rocking his pelvis from side to side to give him more intense pleasure until he felt that the beautiful body under him was starting to relax.
Then without slipping out he lay down on top of him. The man embraced him tightly, wrapping his body with arms and legs, and the two lovers kissed each others mouths and enjoyed the gradual relaxing of their bodies. In an incredibly sweet languor, their embrace and their kissing loosened.
"Thank you Jean Paul, that was wonderful."
"Thank you too, Robert. Thank you for your love."
"I would like to be able to fall asleep like this still joined to you. But unhappily it is not possible."
"We will have other opportunities... perhaps."
"It will not be so easy my love."
"I know. But we will enjoy the little that we will be allowed to enjoy. We have all our life in front of us."
"How can we meet when are back in Paris again? Surely not at my place nor at yours..." Robert said with regret.
"I will find a studio all for myself so that you can sometimes stay at my place."
"It will be expensive... but I can contribute to the expense..."
"We will do our best to create a space for our love won't we?" Jean Paul said, tenderly caressing him.
"Of course we will my love."
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 6
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