Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB nor have I ever met them. This is just a story that I have made up. In other words it's not real or true in any way. These *** mean a character change. These () are a note from me there's only one but I thought I'd let you know. I've wrote a poem in this story I'm not a poet so it may not be that good. I hope you enjoy the third part of this story. Please if you have time drop me a line and tell me what you think good or bad. Thank you for reading in advance
E-mail: Angel36745@aol.com
*Tom
All the while I was starting to notice someone waking up. I pinched his butt hoping to get him to let go. It almost worked if it weren't for small fact I was starting to fall. We both fell backwards he fell on top of me. I looked up into his eye's and froze. I had been close to Kevin before but this was different. He wasn't moving away from me either. I started to lean up but stopped. I took a deep breath and started tickling his sides. He was rolling with laughter in seconds. He jumped out of the shower and ran out of the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it this time. I was still trying to catch my breath when I got back in the shower. I had almost kissed him and, I knew he had to feel Mr. Jones poking him. I was still shaken a little until I thought a little harder. I had felt something poking me to. Then again the way we were playing around thing's pop. That's what I kept telling myself anyway.
*********************Kevin
I was trying to calm down and dry off at the same time. Brian was standing at the door smiling. "So have you told him yet, or are you waiting till he's six feet under?" Brian's smile was gone he was being serious. "I'm waiting until after this is all over with." I looked him smiling I wasn't going to let him get to me. "You know it took me almost dying before I told Nick. Don't make the same mistake. None of us know who's next. One day he could be here the next he's gone. If you love him tell him before it's to late." I looked up to reply but he was gone. I hated when Brian was right but I couldn't tell him not yet. I had to wait I didn't want to put any else on his mind. I looked at my watch and freaked out. We had less than three hour's to get to the air port. I started running around the apartment pull all of our stuff together. Tom walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He looked at me and started laughing a little. I was confused so I looked at myself and didn't see anything funny. I was dressed my pants weren't ripped I looked fine. I looked around myself to see the guy's. None of them were doing anything but giggling. "Ok what the hell is going on?" I looked at them one by one no one was talking. Tom walked over to me and pulled my wrist to his face. He nodded and looked back to the guy's.
I didn't get it and I was starting to get mad. "Kevin have you set your watch back yet?" Brian asked a little to sweetly. "You do know that there is a four hour difference here. As in we have seven hour's to get to the air port." I stopped dead in my tracks at what Tom had just said. I cleared my throat and walked back to the bed room. The guy's were cracking up like never before. I thought I was alone when I started laughing myself. Tom put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him he wasn't laughing any more. He stepped in closer and kissed my cheek softly. "Don't worry we'll get you some help real soon." I knew he was making a joke but that kiss. His lip's were so soft and moist I wouldn't have minded him kissing my lip's. I kissed his cheek "I'm not the one who needs help." I whispered into his ear. He grinned and walked away leaving me alone. I started packing anyway just taking my time this time. Once I was done I went out to see what was left of the food. I saw plate sitting on the table waiting for me. The guys didn't normally do that so it had to be Tom. I heard some of our music blazing in the living room. I walked in to see everyone dancing around the living room. I hadn't seen the guys in this good of a mood in a while. Then I thought about we use to do this all the time when Tom was with us. He always brought the best out in us he kept us grounded. When he left it's like he took that with him. We always had fun but there was something missing.
Tom was apart of our group more than he thought. There had been nights when we were so bored. Then he'd come up with some idea like playing games or something. He always made it fun and doable. Then when there were problems he helped solve them no matter how big. He was like all of us put in one person, he couldn't sing worth a lick but he tried. He could dance better than us that was easy to see. He had some weird mix of grace and rhythm. I could watch him forever if given the chance. I walked back into the kitchen picked up my food and started eating. The music had changed to a slow song. I stopped eating and walked back out. Nick and Brian were dancing as were Howie and AJ. Tom was sitting down watching them closely. I walked over to him holding my hand out. He smiled and stepped into my arm's. We danced for the whole song and didn't stop when it ended. His head was on my shoulder mine was on his. I could still head music playing but it was different. I kept my eye's closed and kept dancing. I was on heaven until someone tapped my shoulder. "The song sorta stopped five minutes ago." Nick told me while leaning into Brian. I stood up a little straighter looking at Tom hoping he hadn't noticed either. He hadn't so I felt good for the time being.
Everyone sort of went off into their own little worlds for a short time. We were all packed and ready to hour's before the flight. We had never told Tom what his mother had said on the phone that night. I was starting to wonder if we should. That way he wouldn't be surprised when we got there. But I had this feeling he already knew what was coming. We took two cab's to get to the air port. None of us talked while we were waiting for the flight. We didn't talk at all on the plane to Kentucky. I was a weird silence that seemed to fill the whole of the group. Brian had already talked to his mother about staying there for a few days. She was more than happy to keep us for a while. I looked over at Tom to see him looking out the window. His knuckles were white he was clenching his fist. I saw a small trickle of blood seep out of his hand. I pulled his hand to my face looking closely. He opened his hand letting me see the damage that was done. I ripped the bottom on my shirt and wrapped it around his hand. I didn't say anything I just sat there I couldn't pull him into my arms. There were far to many eye's to see that, I hoped he understood.
When the plane touched down we got off as quickly as we could. We stayed a bit apart hoping no one would realize who we were. Once outside the Louisville air port we flagged down two cabs. We went to Tom's old home I told him it wasn't a good idea. He didn't live far from the air port. He asked us to stay in the cab's and wait. Brian kept me from going after him. "He's a big boy Kev, if he needs we'll be there." I was still trying to find a way to get out of the cab. I watched him walk up to the door and knock. A blond hair girl answered the door. She looked like she was just a little bit younger than Tom. They spoke for a few minutes before she opened the door. I watched him walk in I was so scared I wouldn't see him walk out. I just kept looking praying for the best. "How long has he been in there Bri?" I was getting nervous waiting for him. "About five minutes calm down Kev, he'll be all right." Brian didn't sound like he was so sure himself. That didn't help the fact that I was worried. I saw Nick get out of the second cab. AJ had his hand trying to pull him back in. Now I was really worried but Brian wouldn't let my arm go. So I just waited and promised myself if he was hurt that I would rip the house to peace's.
************Tom
I was back in the same living room I had left so long ago. My little sister was sitting in the arm chair. "You called and I came how's Mom is she doing ok?" My sister sat up a little bit looking into my eyes. "She's upset, what did you think she would be feeling." I looked at her with new eyes. "Fine I'm gone I shouldn't have come. I'm not welcomed here good bye Sarah." I moved to leave but stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned slow to face her. She had tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said. Please don't go I need you" I was looking into her eyes. I was trying to find something I use to know. "Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I was crying my eyes out? Where were you when I was having nightmares?" I couldn't help my anger it just hurt. She backed away like I had slapped her. She looked lost and alone I regretted what I had said. "I'll come visit the gave site tomorrow after everyone's gone. I don't think anyone really want's the outcast showing up. I'm sorry but I have to go." I moved toward the door again. I stopped dead in my tracks my mother was standing in the doorway.
I looked into her eyes to only see a coldness take over. "So my bastard son returns to gloat. I should have know you'd come back to see if you'd get anything. You always were a greedy little bastard." I backed away trying to hold the tears back. "To bad you didn't die in the hospital. Maybe then God could have forgiven you. I'm sure your a big slut now selling your body. Get out of my home and never come back." I pushed past her and ran out of the house. I couldn't see where I was going I didn't care. I felt to strong arms wrap around me. Then I was pulled into a car and off we went. I couldn't stop crying it just hurt so much. I knew what was going to happen if I saw her. I guess I had prayed she would do other wise. I stopped crying and just closed the doors I was getting good at that. This time there was a new numbness that set in I just didn't feel anymore. I hoped that would last for the rest of my life. No more pain no more nothing sure I would sacrifice the good things. But it was worth it wasn't it not to hurt anymore. We were at some car rental place. Brian was getting a van for us to use. I was reading the news paper it was a few days old. So I would know where the grave site was. I was going to say my good byes. then I could leave and never return to this place.
*************Kevin
I could see him shutting down peace by peace. His eye's looked dead to the world. His face held nothing but a mask. I had tried talking to him but it was like he couldn't hear anymore. I had seen the woman walking up to the house. I didn't know who she was or why she was there. Shortly after Tom came running out like the place was on fire. I had pulled him into the cab and told the driver to punch it. Once we all in the van I could see Nick trying to talk to Tom. It wasn't doing any good what ever have been said. I couldn't even think about what that woman said to him. I had seen the younger woman come running out of the house after we were driving. She was crying and screaming out for us to stop. I wasn't about to give them a chance to attack Tom again. I would never let that happen again I promised myself that. About an hour later we pulled into Brian's house it was like it always was. The house was empty a note was on the door. Welcome home make yourselves at home and don't eat all my food. I was laughing while I was reading the note. I handed it to Brian and it got the same response. We walked into the house leading Tom to the couch. He sat down without looking up once he looked so lost. He pulled a note pad out then started writing.
He then stood up and left the house I was so shocked I couldn't move. None of the guy's could it was just so sudden. I walked to where he had thrown his note pad on the table. I picked up and my heart stopped the words were so full of pain.
(I'm not a poet so it's not that good but I do hope you like. It's all so the reason for the title of the story. I did write it and I do have copyright on it. So if you want to use please ask first.) The Lost Lost in a world pain.
I think I've gone insane.
Every night I cry alone. Lost in a world so cold so cruel. Lost to the human race. I thought I had found my place. Lost again in a world of pain. Now I cry out reaching. No one there to save me. It's so cold now so alone. Losing touch with those I love. Lost am I to everything. Never to be found. Choices made it's time to pay. Why does the world hate? Those who are gay. How I use to pray. For the day. When I was loved. Lost to a world of pain. I think I've gone insane. Now it's time to pay. I just pray. Tears fall like waterfall's. Hidden within that's where they stay. I just pray for change. Until that day I will pay. I am who I am. I can be no one else. End.
"You know when I was a kid I use to clim tree's all the time. I would sit in a tree all day and read to my little sister. We use to be really close my sister and me. I thought she could understand me accept me for who I was. So when she told me she hated me. I didn't understand why or how she could feel that way. Today I saw a different person in my sister. Someone I didn't want to see in her eyes. I saw my little sister caught up in there somewhere. She's as lost as I am and I left her. She didn't hate me because I was gay. She hated me for leaving that day. She knew I would leave once my parents were done with me. She was going to be alone then I knew but didn't care. I left and now here I am." I had never seen him like this and I blamed myself for it. I had let him go in there alone. I could have talked him in taking me with him. But I didn't I let my mind take over for a short time.
That was all it had taken a short time. Now I could have lost him all together. He was still talking but I couldn't understand him anymore. "Kevin I love you I have since the first time I met you. I was afraid you'd hate me to if you knew. I couldn't take that I couldn't handle you leaving me. So I kept pulling away so I wouldn't get hurt. I know you most likely hate me now. That's ok I understand why, but I wanted to tell you how I felt. That way I can move on and start over. You don't have to be my friend anymore." He was starring off into the night. Brian was right behind me holding me up. I would have fallen over if he hadn't. I was crying so hard it was rocking my body. "Tom I love you, I don't want to lose you. I've had the same feeling as you have, please believe me. I just kept finding way's to wait so I wouldn't risk losing you. Please come down I'll keep you safe I promise. I'll hold you now and forever you won't ever have to face something alone again." I was willing him down from the tree. He looked down into my eyes like he was deciding.
I saw something flicker in his eyes for a brief second. Then he swung his leg over the tree and he was falling. I caught him without any trouble he wrapped his arms around me. His head was resting on my chest and I could feel the tears. I carried him back into the house. I saw Nick reading the poem his eyes getting wider. I shook my head at him as I carried Tom to bed. I laid him down then laid down beside him. His body was shaking and I could hear the sobs. He was asleep in a few minutes he then pulled away. He was laying close to the wall curled into a tight ball. I didn't want to leave him but I had to talk to the guys. By the time I had gotten back in the living room everyone had read the poem. Nick had tears in his eyes Brian was trying to comfort him. "It's going to take a while but I thinks he's going to be all right. As for the poem I don't know what to think." I was looking at the guy's they were as confused as I was. "You know everything we have a problem we call him. Every time something goes wrong we call him. We were so blind not to see him in pain. All we cared about was getting his help on something." Nick was ranting he was more upset than I had thought. But he had a very good point that I hadn't wanted to admit to myself.
The rest of the guy's were agreeing with him. "It wasn't your fault I didn't let anyone in." Tom said from behind me. He looked a lot better than before and his eye's were alive again. "I was doing my job every time you called. I'm your friend or at least I hope so. I wanted to help you whenever I could. So don't blame yourselves in anyway. You were there when I needed you. For that I love you all in one way or another." He was leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I couldn't keep my eye's from seeing something that wasn't there. He looked like he was glowing a warm golden light. I blinked trying to clear my vision but it remained. I heard the other guy's gasping and knew I wasn't the only one seeing this. He seem to know it was there like it had always been there. He smiled at like he was letting us in on a secret. "I'm sorry I kept you all in the dark. I just had to it's one of the reason's I didn't tell you I was in pain. I knew what would happen or a part of me did. When I let others see my pain, if they still accepted me, I couldn't hide who I was anymore." I was beyond confused at this point. I looked at him hard and noticed that the scar above him eye brow was gone. I almost fell to the ground only to be caught by a chair. "I'm not some alien or anything like that. I don't have any real powers. I'm mostly human only I am part something else." I looked away from him I was in fact scared.
I looked to the others guys but they weren't scared. Nick looked very happy so did AJ. Brian looked like he was pleased with it. Howie just looked confused and lost but not scared. So why should I be scared I turned back to him. "So what are you not that I you have to spill it or anything." He looked at with a very pleased look on his face. "80% human 20% wind my father was 60% human 40% wind. My mother is human my sister is like me." Now I was more confused I hadn't heard of anything like this. "Ok it's story time get ready it's a little confusing." He walked over to an empty chair and sat down.
"A very long time ago the sprits of wind, water, earth, and fire took on human form. They wanted to see if the human race was worthy. To make the story a little bit shorter they fell in love with humans. Two human's had children that were more power than a human. Two of the sprits had children and so on. I'm sure you've heard the stories of elf's and other thing's like that. Well, I'm a descendant of the wind sprit. Over time they became more and more human. If I ever had children they would mostly be human. But since we all know that isn't going to happen no use talking about it. Like I said no real powers I can do a few thing's but not much. I can dance better than any human. I can float in the air I cannot fly. I guess what I can do would be called hovering. My sister has more control over it than I do. The reason why is simple the wind took on a body of a woman. So being a female gives her more power. Anyway that's off the point of the story. I'm not a danger to you in anyway. I'm still the same person only less secrets. I have the same life span as a human. I feel the same way as human because I am human." He finished looking around the group. None of us were confused anymore in fact I felt a lot better.
I looked at Tom and saw that glow wasn't as bright that it was fading. "You see I could have stayed in the room till the glow faded. But I do not want anymore secrets between us. I know some of you have seen weird thing's around me. Thinking your mind's were playing trick's. I'm sorry I let you think that I just had to. I know AJ has seen my lift off that floor for short amounts of time. Not much gets past him when he's watching someone dance. I know Howie saw me working out one day. He saw me fly threw the air and hit a punching bag. Jumping fifteen feet isn't something a lot of people can do. Nick just had a feeling something was off. While Brian just ignores and Kevin thought he was seeing something that wasn't there." All of the guy's were looking from one to the other. "So you read mind's to I guess?" I had to ask it what choice did I have. He laughed at me "No silly I just notice thing's when I screw up." Now I felt a hell of a lot better if had seen some of my dreams. I didn't even want to finish that thought.
************Tom
I had told them as much as I could. I knew it was ok to let ten human's in on my secret. It was a rule that I couldn't brake I could tell five more people. I just had to chose wisely, if I didn't I was screwed and would dead in a short amount of time. "Ok now comes the important part. None this can go past your lip's if it does I could end up dead. The sprit of wind is still around and stronger than ever. I'm allowed to tell ten people my secret. I could tell more but it's a little risky. So a long time ago it was agreed that we would only tell ten people. So if you don't mind keeping a secret." Everyone was nodding Kevin was looking at me a little differently. I still loved him and he loved me but I knew thing's were different. I wasn't going to hide the way I felt anymore. I wasn't going to close myself off to the world. I found that in myself I could never sacrifice love. Even if it meant I would have to deal with the pain. I was human in my heart and soul I always would be. I had shared my secret with my greatest friends. I knew this was just the start of a story that would take a while to tell. I was getting tired and I wanted to sleep. I had to face a hard fact tomorrow morning. I was going to say good bye and I wouldn't return.
I had the best night's sleep I've had in a while. I had to warm arms around me and the body of my one and only pressed against my back. I could feel his breath on my shoulder. His lip's were lightly touching my neck. I was in heaven that was simple. We had stayed up a few more hours talking. I told them everything I had been told when I was young. Then in return I learned a few things I hadn't known before. Kevin told me about the younger girl running after me. I knew it was my sister what she wanted I did not know. I had a few good dreams that night about my sister. We use to play fight like only we could. When we hit someone it was either normal, or as if it were a feather. Like I had told the guys no real power. Now we could make slam dunks without any problem. That kinda pissed Brian off since I had beaten him a few times. By the time I went to bed with Kevin everything was back to normal. Brian made me promise to help him beat Justin of Nsync. I had no problem with that since he was the one I was in a small war with. I wasn't looking forward to the next time we met that was for sure. We had gotten into a huge fight before I was sent to LA. I had dyed his hair green he couldn't prove it but that didn't matter. I thought it was an improvement to his look.
Kevin was starting to stir behind me I frowned. I knew I had to get up but I also knew I didn't know Brian's mother. I really didn't want to run into her right this second. I was told she was a sweet heart but still I was worried. I unwrapped myself from Kevin's arms and got out of bed. I got dressed and walked outside as silently as I could. I watched the sun rising and couldn't believe it was so early. I knew I was going to see my sister today I just had a feeling. She would wait until I came to the grave site. There was a time when we could read each other like a book. Thing's had changed so much since that time, but in some small way they were the same. I could feel her waiting for me even now. I didn't know what she had to say to me. I didn't even know if I cared anymore. I had a family now even if I wasn't born into it. I was in love and that feeling was returned. I could deal with anything now that I had opened my eyes. I wrote a little note and placed it on the door. I was going for a walk in the woods for a bit. I told them not to worry that I would be back soon. So I started walking into the woods looking at the different trees. I jumped high into the air landing on a branch. I climbed to the top of the tree with ease.
I sat there for at the least an hour just looking around. I looked down to see the guy's looking for me. I was going to do something I hadn't done in a long time. I jumped from the top of the tree landing on the ground without making a sound. I walked right behind Nick for five minutes. "Who are you looking for" I whispered into his ear. He turned around so quickly he knocked me over. I laughed my ass off for what seemed like forever. The other guy's had found us and gave me the oddest look. Nick was very pissed I had played a prank on him. "You promised that you would never prank me. If I never pranked you." I looked at him and did my best puppy dog face. "I didn't prank you Nicky trust me. I could have scared the hell out of you." I told him standing back up smiling. "No, you couldn't you were just walking behind me." He smiled walking to Brian's side. "I was at the top of a tree when I first saw you. I jumped down behind you and followed you. I could have jumped down in front of you." I said smiling to myself I was in a very good mood. I hadn't gotten the chance to goof off with Nick in a while. He stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't show that thing unless you want to use it." Ok I'll admit I was being a bit nuts. AJ cracked up laughing at the fat that I had used his line. Kevin put on a pout and Brian pulled Nick to him. I laughed and soon was being chased by Brian and Nick both.
I made it back to the house just in time to see a car pull out. I was out of breath so I didn't say anything. A woman was sitting in the drivers seat she waved smiling at me. I waved back and smiled I guessed that was Brian's mother. I heard Nick and Brian come charging out of the woods. I looked back and smiled brightly at them. I waited till they almost had me before I jumped into the air. It felt so good to be myself around them to do something so off the wall. I was sitting on the roof watching them look around. "You know I finally understand why they call you frick and frack." I said causing them to look up at me. "You two are just so slow" I laughed at them. Ok I knew I was pissing them off I was cheating. I saw Nick walked around to the side of the house. He came back with a hose the water was already on full force. I rased my hands in defeat hoping I wouldn't be soaked. I got soaked big time and almost fell off the roof. That's when Nick and Brian stopped and started trying to help. Once the water was off I could see again. so I let go of the roof and fell to the ground. It may have looked like I hit hard but I didn't. Nick was by my side in a second trying to help me. Kevin was running toward me his eyes wide. "I'm ok calm down ok, how about I make you a new promise Nick?"
I promised Nick I wouldn't scare him anymore. Kevin made me make him the same promise under different rules. I was holding his hand while we walked back into the house. Once inside I started stripping in the living room Brian almost freaked. "My Mom will have a heart attack if she walked in on you stripping." I looked him with my 'oh you are so dead look'. I continued to strip right in front of him smiling the whole time. "Your mother left right before you came out of the woods. Do you think I have no manners Bri come on." I was in my boxers at this point. Brian was trying not to look at me I could tell. His eyes kept going a little lower down my body every time he looked. I was freezing so I pulled Kevin into my arms. "I need a blanket or something." I told him right before I kissed him. His eye's went wide as did mine. It was like I don't it just seemed to wake me up. I felt so alive right then I didn't know what to do. I looked into his eye's seeing what I had been missing. I pulled away walking toward the couch where a blanket was laying. I wrapped it around my shoulders and laid back waiting for Kevin. He hadn't moved from the door since I had kissed him. Brian was tapping his shoulder lightly smiling. Kevin shook himself a little bit looking around I almost laughed.
A few hours had passed and we were getting ready to head to the grave site. Kevin tired to talk me out of it more than once. The other guys were doing the same thing when Kevin wasn't. I knew they just wanted to help me but I just knew I had to go. My sister and I shared a link with each other. It only worked when we were close but I could feel it. She was calling out to me to come I couldn't refuse. It wasn't in words but I think it might be the only chance I had to have some family. I knew she was sorry I could tell that from what she had said. I had to try even if it hurt me in the end. I knew I would have Kevin to help me and the other guys. I wasn't afraid anymore I could face this or at least that's what I kept telling myself.