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Chapter fifteen: Stress
Don't worry. Aiden kept saying that. Each time was followed by a kiss. I liked the kisses. The words I could have done without.
I was worried. I was worried about what Janie was going to do. I was worried for Aiden. I was worried for me. I was worried about what even one of us being outed at school would do to us.
And it hadn't even happened yet.
But I had a bad feeling about it. Probably because I didn't trust Janie. And why should I? The girl obviously had a screw loose somewhere. And worse, she reminded me of Anna. The whole situation reminded me of Anna. That's probably why I wasn't taking it very well.
Aiden thought I was overreacting. I thought that he wasn't reacting enough. He spent almost an hour after we woke up that morning trying to convince me that everything would be all right.
I wasn't convinced.
Actually, I was. I was convinced that something bad was going to happen. I even tried to talk Aiden out of going to school. I guess I was taking my concerns to the extreme, but I couldn't help it.
When we finally left my room we were surprised to find Tony in the kitchen with breakfast ready. He hadn't been home much because of Jake, and I guess he didn't have any classes that morning.
He was also in a good mood.
But, Tony's good mood didn't last when Aiden sat down at the table, both of us silent and lost in out own thoughts. I was hardly even picking at my food and Aiden was just pushing his around his plate, while Tony sat across from us, looking from one face to another.
"Okay." Tony finally broke the silence, "What's going on with you two?"
"Nothing." We both mumbled.
"Uh-huh." Tony frowned, doing that thing with his eyes again, trying to read us. His eyes settled on me first. "What's wrong, Owen? Are you guys fighting?"
Aiden and I looked at each other. We were defiantly not in agreement over Janie, and I think Aiden was annoyed because I wouldn't stop worrying, but we definitely weren't fighting. Only, Tony's question made me wonder if we were. But, Aiden's soft smile told me otherwise.
"We're not fighting." I said.
"Then does someone want to tell me what's going on?" Tony frowned.
Aiden looked back down at his plate, so it was safe to say that he wasn't going to tell Tony what was going on. And usually, I liked to try to deal with my problems on my own before getting my brothers involved. But this time seemed different. I was genuinely concerned, and if Aiden couldn't be helpful, maybe Tony could.
"I think Janie is going to out Aiden at school." I announced.
Aiden shot me a look, clearly saying that I shouldn't have said anything, but I ignored it, and turned to Tony, who was staring at Aiden now.
"Janie? Janie Curt?" Tony asked, "I thought she was your friend."
"She is." Aiden was glaring at me.
"She's not acting like one." I argued.
"I'm going to talk to her, Owen. So stop worrying." Aiden insisted.
"You're going to talk to her after what she did?" I demanded. I couldn't keep the edge out of my voice, and I probably got louder than I had meant to.
"Whoa." Tony interrupted, "What did she do?"
"She outed Aiden to me." I frowned, saying it as if Tony was already supposed to know this. "She was trying to scare me off, acting like homosexuality was some kind of disease, and then she said that I didn't want a queer attracted to me so I should stay away from him."
"When did this happen?" Tony asked.
"Last night." I replied.
"And you really think she'll start talking at school?"
"Yes." I stated.
"We don't know that." Aiden interrupted, "I'm going to talk to her."
"How can you talk to her?" I demanded again, turning my attention back to Aiden, "She's crazy! Think about it, Aiden. If it had been anyone besides me last night that she told, she could have caused a lot of trouble for you."
"You wouldn't understand." Aiden frowned.
Wouldn't understand? That pissed me off. I did understand. I understood all too well, and I opened my mouth to tell him that, but Tony's voice, thankfully, caught me off guard before I could make an ass out of myself by screaming at my boyfriend for no good reason.
"Owen, don't." Tony warned, "You can't get mad at him for that if you haven't told him yet."
Okay. So I was grateful for the intervention, but I was still annoyed with Tony for knowing me so well. I shot him a look that told him so, and he had the nerve to smirk at me.
When I felt Aiden's hand on mine I looked down at it, and then dragged my attention back to his eyes, taking note of his curious expression.
"Haven't told me what?" Aiden asked.
I frowned at Tony again, mostly because this was not a conversation that I wanted to have right now. But maybe if Aiden knew that I understood, at least some of what he was going through with Janie, he would see why the whole situation upset me so much. So, I turned in my seat to face him better.
"Anna Crossle." I muttered.
"Who?"
"I told you about that night that I came out to my parents." I explained and Aiden nodded, "But I didn't tell you everything that led up to it. Anna Crossle was one of my best friends. We grew up together, did the joint family vacations in the summer, I even dated her before I figured out that it was wrong to lead her on...I trusted her, Aiden. I mean, I didn't come out to her. As much as I loved her, I wasn't ready for that. But, she overheard a conversation I was having with my best friend. That's how she found out."
I stopped for a moment in reflection. It was strange how I felt numb telling this story now. The betrayal still hurt. And I was still angry. But numb. It was the first time that I actually allowed myself to think about Anna in more depth, wondering why she did it.
Nicky had been her boyfriend. I couldn't help wondering if she outed me because she thought that a gay boy talking to her boyfriend might leave him with homosexual tendencies. She was probably standing in the hall, outside of Nicky's room, listening to my whole confession. I could imagine the shocked look on her face, knowing that her boyfriend was taking to her ex-boyfriend, who happened to be one of those dreaded homosexuals. For some reason the thought caused me to crack a smile.
But, it faded quickly. Anna thought I was sick, ill, disturbed. Janie thought the same thing about Aiden. In the past I had always, in some way or another, defended Anna to myself. I wanted to believe that she truly thought that she was helping me in her betrayal.
I knew better now. Maybe she believed that she was doing the right thing. But, somewhere in her mind she had to have known that she was hurting me. What kind of friend would tell my greatest secret to the people who could hurt me the worst? And then later, everyone else?
"Owen?" Tony interrupted my thoughts. I saw him and Aiden staring at me expectantly, and I wondered how long I had been silent. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and turned back to Aiden.
"Sorry," I sighed, "Anna said that she thought I was sick, just like Janie said about you. Anna's the one who told my parents about me. That night, they confronted me, and I told them the truth...Later on, I found out that the word had spread. Anna didn't stop at just telling my parents... But I never had to go back and deal with it, Aiden. I might have been outed, but I never really faced it. I got a fresh start. You may not have the same opportunity if Janie does to you, what Anna did to me."
Aiden squeezed my hand a little tighter and then moved his palm against mine, interlocking our fingers as he leaned forward and hugged me. I wrapped my free arm around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder, listening as he spoke into my ear.
"I'm sorry, Owen. I didn't know." he said, "I'm glad you told me, though. It makes more sense now, why you're so upset about Janie...I sort of thought that you were afraid you'd end up being outed too, because of me. I wasn't sure if you would end up doing what she said, and, you know, stay away from me."
I pulled back a little, frowning, and caught his eyes.
"I told you before Aiden, I won't do that. I won't lie to you. I'm not ready to come out, but I can still be your friend no matter what, and the rest is no one's business."
Aiden smiled and leaned in to kiss me, just softly on the mouth, until I pressed in harder, flicking my tongue against his bottom lip as I moved my hand around to the back of his head, taking hold of his ponytail and pulling him closer. His lips parted and his tongue pushed back against mine in slow motions as his hand moved up my thigh and he slid forward in his chair, closer to me until our knees were locked together.
The sound of Tony clearing his throat caught us both off guard and we quickly pulled away, blushing. Come to think of it, Tony was blushing too. But, that was all right. I had completely forgotten that my brother was there for a moment, and it felt nice to be so open in front of someone.
"Well," Tony smiled, "I hate to break up your...moment. But Aiden, are you sure you want to talk to Janie? If she's going to out you, I don't think there's much you can do, except maybe be ready for it. Talking to her might only make it worse. Especially if you're only going to say something that she doesn't want to hear."
"I'm ready for it." Aiden said confidently. He might have been speaking to Tony, but he was looking at me. "I am. And if it's coming, I'll be okay. But, I still have to talk to Janie, whether or not she'll like what I have to say."
I don't think I had to tell him how much I hated that idea. Aiden could likely hear my teeth grinding and see my jaw twitching.
"You're sure that's what you want to do?" Tony asked.
Aiden looked at Tony and nodded.
"I have to." Aiden insisted, "Janie and I...we haven't been getting along lately. But, I still need to know. I need to hear it for myself, that the friendship's over."
If I didn't already hate Janie I would now, just for making Aiden look sad. It hit me, that my annoyance over the matter wasn't helping Aiden, either. He needed my support, not my anger. So, when he looked at me again I forced a straight face and gave him a nod, deciding that this was not something I could argue over. Aiden was going to talk to Janie and I would support him in his decision. But damn it, I didn't have to like it.
.................................
You can always tell when a day is going to start out badly when one of the first people you run into is Dennis Gordon. I had just separated from Aiden after driving him to school, and was on the way to my first class.
I rarely passed Dennis in the halls. At least, not since he had started to avoid me. And when I did see him, I made it a point not to let him know that I saw him. It hadn't been a problem lately; he had been avoiding me since the dance. Unfortunately, he stopped avoiding me that morning.
I didn't see it coming when he passed by. I should have seen it. He was way too close for comfort, and when the side of his body knocked into mine, I actually felt my shoulder pop as I lost my balance and slammed into the lockers.
I grabbed my sore left shoulder and rotated it as I regained my balance and glared back at Dennis Gordon, who was already moving down the hall, laughing with his friends. He shot me a smug look over his shoulder and then he was gone. I really hoped that he wasn't going to choose today, of all days, to pick a fight. I had enough on my mind to worry about.
"Wasn't that fuck-off supposed to be leaving you alone now?" I heard Ryan's voice behind me and turned around, forcing a smile in the process.
"I guess he forgot." I shrugged.
"You okay?" Ryan asked.
I nodded and started walking towards my locker, with Ryan in step next to me.
"So what happened to you this morning?" Ryan asked.
I looked up, a little surprised, wondering what he was talking about.
"Our workout." He frowned, "You never showed up."
Shit. I knew I had forgotten something.
"I'm sorry, Ryan." I sighed, "It was kind of a long morning. I sort of forgot."
"Sure." He shrugged, "Is everything okay? I ran into Adam this morning and he said he was looking for you. He seemed kind of upset. Did something happen when you took him home last night?"
Shit. Adam. I had been so worried about what Janie was going to do that I had almost forgotten about Adam's bad reaction to Aiden's being gay.
"Adam? Did he say what he wanted?" I asked.
"Just that he wanted to talk." Ryan shrugged, "Why, did something happen?"
"Long story."
"Well, it's gonna have to wait." Ryan gave me a pat on the back, "We have to get to class, unless," he smirked, "you wanna cut out and go talk somewhere."
"Pass." I smiled, "I'll see you later."
My first few classes seemed to take forever to get through, but at the same time, I wished they could have lasted longer. I was not looking forward to lunch. Lunch, was when Aiden would be having his talk with Janie, and now it seemed that I would be having my own discussion-- with Adam, and I was nervous as hell about it.
I think I was afraid to see Adam's reaction after last night. Logically, I knew that Adam knew nothing about me being gay. But, if he reacted badly to Aiden, it wouldn't really matter. I knew that my friendship with Adam could very well be over today, and the thought of it saddened me. I wished that I could just avoid him, for only a few more days. I wanted time, as much as I could get. At least that way, I could call Adam my friend for a few more days.
Unfortunately, I couldn't put this off and I knew it. Ten minutes after my lunch period started, I was under the oak tree, just like always. Only today it seemed quiet. But maybe it seemed so quiet because I wasn't paying attention to what was around me; rather, the scene across the courtyard that practically made my blood boil.
Aiden was walking arm in arm with Janie, as if nothing had happened at all. She was smiling and he was talking, obviously saying something that amused her, as they headed towards one of the stone tables.
It was disgusting.
I'm sure I must have looked pissed when Aiden looked over the top of Janie's head in my direction. He only offered me a small reassuring smile, that didn't feel all that reassuring at the time. When he turned back to Janie I continued to glare, hating that she looked so happy. What was he talking to her about anyways?
"Is it really true?" I heard the unusually quiet voice behind me and looked back. Adam was already sitting against the tree, looking in Janie and Aiden's direction. I hadn't noticed him because I had been too busy trying to murder Janie with my eyes.
I took a brief moment to look around, noticing that we were still alone.
"Where's Shane?" I asked.
"Still sick." Adam shrugged, and then went back to looking in Aiden's direction, "So, is it true? Aiden's a fag?"
I flinched at the use of the word again. It just didn't seem right coming out of Adam's mouth.
"Why don't you ask him?" I replied.
Adam frowned and lowered his eyes for a moment, before lifting them to look at me.
"So did you know about it?" Adam asked, "Or did Janie surprise you last night too?"
"Oh, she surprised me." I mumbled.
"But you did know?" there was an edge in Adam's voice that I didn't particularly like, and I found myself narrowing my eyes at him despite wanting to discuss this peacefully.
"What does it matter, Adam?" I demanded.
"Because you should have warned me!" he practically shouted at me. He wasn't screaming, but it was loud enough to attract some attention and we both fell silent for a moment, waiting for people to pass.
"Warned you about what?" I asked, "That Aiden's gay? Why? What does it even matter, Adam? He's still the same person he was yesterday."
"He's a fag!" Aiden hissed, "Jesus, Owen. I can't believe you're so calm about this."
"Why shouldn't I be? And what the hell is with you, anyways? You've never had a problem with Ben and Leo. Why is Aiden so different?"
"It is different! Ben and Leo aren't even my friends. Aiden's been over to my house! He's slept there, Owen, in my room! God, he could have tried something! And you shared a tent with him when we went camping. I mean, what if he had tried something then?"
Actually...okay, so Aiden had tried something then, but that was completely different from what Adam was talking about. Still, it made me blush to think about it.
"That's not how it works Adam, he's gay, that doesn't mean that he tries to hump with everything that as a dick."
"It's still not normal."
"Why, because you say it's not?"
"Not just me! It's everyone. I mean, it's disgusting. Who would want to fuck another guy?"
"It's not just about that, Adam. It's no different than you wanting to fuck a girl."
"How can you say that? It's completely different!"
"Because it's true, I..." shit. This was getting difficult. I knew that I was defending Aiden, but it felt like I was defending myself. Actually, I was defending myself, Adam just didn't know it, and it was getting harder not to lose my temper every time he opened his mouth. "Aiden can't help being gay, Adam. It's not a choice. If it was, do you think he'd choose it, knowing that people he cares about, like you, could end up hating him for it?
"It's just not normal." Adam huffed.
"So what are you saying?" I demanded, "Now that he's not normal, you can't be his friend? Well what is normal Adam? Is normal turning your back on the people you're supposed to care about? People who care about you?" I suddenly pulled my bag over my shoulder and lifted the tray of uneaten cafeteria food. I could feel more than anger rising in my voice. There was emotion too, and I couldn't handle it right now, "You know what Adam? If that's normal, then you can keep it."
I began to walk away. I had expected to feel a lot of things while talking to Adam. I expected fear, and maybe anger, but I hadn't expected to feel so hurt by his words. I had thought that Adam was better than that. I had tried to prepare myself for the worst, but somewhere in the back of my mind I had expected him to accept Aiden. To accept me.
"Owen!" Adam called after me.
I didn't want to turn back, but I felt that I had to. I was sorry I did. I saw that look in his eyes, the one that said he truly didn't think there was anything wrong with hating another person just because they're gay. That look made me sick, and the next words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.
"You know what Adam? Fuck you."
I didn't wait for a reaction. I just walked away. I was so angry, to think that Adam, who had tried so hard to be my friend in the beginning, could turn out to be such a small minded bigot. And I was sad, having to walk away from him now, because I couldn't handle his reaction. I didn't even have the guts to go back and tell him that I was one of those people that he was so disgusted with.
Aiden was still with Janie when I passed him. I couldn't tell if they were arguing or not, but Janie wasn't laughing anymore. Aiden saw me. I watched, as he briefly looked me over, questioning with his eyes, wanting to know if I was all right. But, before I could give any response, Janie reached across the table and placed her hand on his arm, pulling his attention back to her. So I kept going.
...............
Did I mention that I was having a bad day? I didn't think that it could possibly get any worse after lunch, after speaking to Adam. But, I should have known better.
I knew something was amiss when Dennis Gordon made a point to be on the team opposite me during gym. It was basketball again. And, the last time I checked, basketball was a no-contact sport, so the first two times Dennis plowed into me after I got the ball, I kept waiting for the coach to interrupt. But, all Dennis got was a whistle and a warning look from the old man.
By the third time I hit the cold gymnasium floor and went sliding back on my ass, I was a little more than frustrated. Ryan had come to my defense, giving Dennis's shoulder a shove.
"Knock it off Dennis." Ryan warned.
"What?" Dennis laughed, "It's not my fault your little bitch is so clumsy."
I still had the ball in my hands, so obviously, the only reasonable thing to do with it, was to throw it at Dennis Gordon's big, obnoxious head. At least, that's what my reflexes told me to do.
I watched from the floor, as the ball bounced off his forehead, pushing his head back. He was able to keep his balance, but the shocked look on his face brought laughter from the other students surrounding us, waiting to get on with the game.
"Dovan!" I heard the coach, and his whistle blew in our direction, but being reprimanded was the last thing on my mind when Dennis focused his angry eyes on me and lunged forward.
I was on my feet before he could reach me and I shoved him back. That one shove would be all the warning that he got from me today. Today, I wouldn't mind fighting with him. I had plenty of frustration to get out anyways.
"You're fucking dead!" Dennis snarled at me.
I pulled back my fist as he lunged again, but before either of us could ignite the first blow, the fight was broken up before it even started, considering that we were in the middle of a class.
Ryan grabbed me from behind, practically lifting me off the ground to hold me back, as another kid from our team latched onto my arm, while Dennis got the same treatment. I didn't like being held, and my reaction was to fight it, but Ryan's voice stopped me.
"Not here, Owen!" he warned. "Relax!"
"Dovan!" I looked up as the coach's shadow fell over me, "Damn it! If you ever pull anything like that again you'll be running laps until you graduate!"
Ryan released me and moved to stand at my side as I shook the other guy off.
"What about Dennis?" Ryan demanded, "He's been starting shit with Owen all day!"
"Shut you're hole Sader, or you'll be running laps with your jackass friend here!" Coach spat back, and then blew his whistle, "Break this up ladies! Back to work, all of you! Dovan, You'll be running laps around the gym until I say otherwise! Move!"
I guess it didn't really surprise me that I was the one being blamed here. I mean, it would only make sense. In fact, with the day I was having, I expected nothing less. So, after glaring at the smug look on Dennis's face, I moved to start running my laps. Only, Ryan's voice stopped me.
"That is such bullshit!" he was still talking to the coach.
"You can join him with those laps now Sader!" coach shot back.
"Oh, fuck you." Ryan sounded exasperated, and there wasn't much heat behind his words, but they still brought a silence over the gymnasium as everyone, including myself, watched coach's face as it flushed and the veins in his head began to swell to the surface of his skin.
It was like waiting for a bomb to go off. The old man was holding his breath, and I didn't necessarily want to see what would happen when he let it out. But either curiosity of fascination left me staring, along with the rest of the class, everyone except for Ryan, who was still running his fingers through his hair and looking around the silent gym, dealing with his own frustrations. When Ryan finally did look at the coach again, he took a step back, but didn't necessarily look concerned.
"What?" Ryan asked innocently.
And then the bomb went off.
"That's it! You can forget about graduating this year Sader! You just failed my class! Now get your belligerent, fat ass out of my gym and onto the field, you'll be running laps for another four years when I'm through with you!"
"Run your own laps." Ryan shook his head, before he started to walk calmly towards the locker room.
"Sader!" coach shouted after him, and then looked at me, "What are you looking at Dovan? Did I tell you to just stand there like and idiot? Or are simple instructions too difficult for your pea brain to handle?"
It took me about a second before I began to follow Ryan. I did wonder if this meant that I was kicked out of school again, but when coach shouted out more threats behind me, I found that, at this point, I didn't really care.
..............
I had started my truck, but Ryan and I just sat there silently. We had our backpacks, but we were still in our gym clothes. We hadn't exactly wasted much time getting out of there.
Ryan started laughing first. I wasn't really sure what he was laughing at, and I really had no idea why I started laughing with him, but the laughter was needed. We were both rolling before we calmed down, grinning at each other. But my smile didn't last long.
"Can he really keep you from graduating?" I asked, somehow feeling that this was all my fault.
"Nah." Ryan smirked, "I already have more than enough credits to graduate. I don't even need all of the classes I'm taking now."
"Then why are you taking them?" I asked,
"Social outlet." He shrugged, "And I like gym. That's the only reason why I've been putting up with bullshit all year. I take it every year."
I just smiled and shook my head.
"So, are we going to get out of here?" he smirked, "Or are we going to go back in there and face Johnson's firing squad? Coach has probably reached him by now."
I shifted the truck into reverse and pulled out. I was sure that I would end up having to meet with principal Johnson again, but doing that now just wasn't something I felt like dealing with.
Instead of taking Ryan home, we ended up at my place. It was only one-thirty, so I wasn't surprised to see that Chris was home. It looked like he had just woken up, and he was definitely surprised to see us.
When I told him why I was home early, he didn't waste any time waking up, or getting mad. When Ryan told him everything that had happened with Dennis Gordon and then the coach, Chris cursed all the way out the door, after telling me to stop apologizing. I only hoped that he'd be calmer by the time he reached the school.
After Chris was gone, Ryan and I ended up in the kitchen, sitting at the table.
"Do you think you're in a lot of trouble?" Ryan asked. "Chris seemed kinda pissed."
"Not at me." I replied, "I just feel bad that he has to deal with this shit, you know?"
"Wait `til I tell my mom." Ryan laughed.
"You're mom doesn't exactly seem threatening." I remarked. Actually, I couldn't picture Angie Sader mad if I tried.
"You haven't seen her get pissed." Ryan insisted. "She'll go down to the school and straighten out coach, but when she finds out what I said to him, you probably won't see me for a few weekends."
"Seriously?"
"Oh, yeah." He grinned, "I'm in trouble, but it was worth it. I'm so sick of everyone walking around, acting like Gordon pisses gold or something. Today was just the same old crap, all because he's the damn quarterback. But you know what? When football season is over, they'll still let him get away with murder. It's all fucking bullshit."
"Why do you think that is?" I asked, not really expecting an answer, just wondering to myself what made Dennis Gordon that much better than the rest of us.
"I'll tell you exactly why that is." Ryan scoffed, "Have you ever seen the teacher's parking lot? Dennis's dad, he's John Gordon, he owns a car dealership. He cuts deals for all of Dennis's teachers. In return, they pass Dennis so he can keep playing football."
"Isn't that illegal or something?"
"Probably." He shrugged, "Definitely unethical. But, John Gordon grew up with most of the teachers teaching at our school right now, and Johnson is his best friend. No one can prove anything, but everyone knows the reason why Dennis gets away with so much shit."
"I guess it makes sense." I frowned.
"Yeah." Ryan smirked, "So you might want to remember that, the next time you decide to pick a fight with Dennis in front of one of his daddy's buddies."
"I wasn't exactly looking for a fight." I protested.
"Yeah you were." Ryan replied. "You could have walked away, just like you did at the dance. And at the dance, he did more to you... So, I figure you've got a few hours to tell me what's wrong before I'm grounded."
"It's nothing." I mumbled, looking down at my hands.
"Sure, it's nothing." He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Owen. I know that I don't ooze intellectual intelligence, but I am smart enough to notice when one of my friends has a problem. And you have a problem. You missed our work out, every time I ran into you today you were walking around like a zombie, and then you actually wanted to fight Gordon. So spill. It'll help to talk about it, even if it's something that I can't help with."
I looked up at Ryan and gave him a small smile. He was still my friend. He knew that Aiden was gay and he wouldn't turn his back on him like Adam did. Ryan wouldn't turn his back on me. And I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell him what was going on with Aiden. He'd probably find out soon enough anyways, if Janie started running her mouth.
"It's Aiden." I said after a few minutes.
Ryan's brow furrowed.
"Are you guys fighting or something?" he asked.
Why did everyone think that?
"No. I'm fighting with Adam."
"Adam? What does Adam have to do with Aiden? And why are you fighting with Adam? Anyone could get along with that kid."
"That's what I thought." I frowned, "But I'm fighting with Adam, and it's Janie's fault."
"Um, Owen...you know I'd love to be an ear, but you're losing me here."
"Sorry." I sighed. And then I started from the beginning. At least, I told him about what happened after I took Adam home the night before. I told him everything Janie said and stopped just before I got to the part about Adam opening the door, when Ryan interrupted me.
"What a bitch." Ryan mumbled. "I mean, I knew Janie's been treating Aiden like private property lately, but that's just wrong...she didn't really out him to you though, did she, you already knew?"
"I knew." I nodded. "But Adam didn't."
"Adam heard?"
"Yeah, he did, at least enough of it. He's not taking it well and some things he said...he's being an asshole where Aiden is concerned."
"Hmm." Ryan frowned, "That kind of surprises me. I never would have guessed. I mean, he's been around Leo and Ben."
"I know." I nodded. "I was surprised too."
Ryan placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin against his folded knuckles, given me a thoughtful look.
"It's really bothering you?" he asked, "Fighting with Adam?"
"Yea, it is." I nodded. "I was such an asshole when I moved here, Ryan. Adam was the only one who gave me the time of day and stuck with me. He didn't have to do that."
"You know, Owen...maybe you could still be friends with Adam. I mean, I know that maybe his reaction is bad now...but let the shock wear off. And if you're worried about what Aiden will think, you have to remember that he understands reactions like Adam's. He's not going to hold it against you if you stay friends with the guy."
"Adam's reaction was more than just bad. You don't understand, Ryan. I can't be friends with someone like him."
"Well, if not because of Aiden, are you worried about Tony? Maybe, what will happen when Adam finds out that you live under the same roof as a gay man?"
"No," I said cautiously, choosing my words carefully, not wanting to repeat them later "I'm more concerned over what Adam will think when he finds out that Chris lives under the same roof as two gay brothers, and occasionally a gay neighbor who sleeps in the youngest brother's room."
Oddly enough, for my first time coming out to someone other than my brothers, who truly hadn't known about me, wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. But, then again, this was Ryan. He was safe and everything that I knew about him proved that.
Honestly, I hadn't planned on coming out to Ryan today. But, after talking to Adam, and realizing that our friendship was over unless I wanted to lie to him for the rest of my life, coming out to Ryan seemed like the right thing to do. And like I said, I trusted him.
"Oh." He nodded, right before his eyes seemed to get a little wider and he stared at me for nearly a whole minute. "Oh!...so, then, you and Aiden are...?"
"Since the dance." I smiled.
"Wow." Ryan blinked. "I would have bet you were straight... Huh.... I guess that explains why you never made a pass at Lacy."
"Probably." I shrugged.
"Huh." Ryan shook his head, as if to clear it, and then he grinned at me, dimples and all. "Damn... Sorry... You just took me by surprise... Damn."
I laughed at the stunned expression on his face and the way that he was visibly trying to shake it off.
"I mean, I knew Aiden liked you. But he never said anything about the two of you, together." Ryan continued.
"That's because I'm not exactly ready to be out yet, Ryan." I replied, more seriously. "And that's why I can't continue a friendship with someone who thinks the way that Adam does."
"Shit." Ryan shook his head. "I didn't realize...what Adam said, was it really that bad?"
"He pretty much made it clear that he was disgusted by gays." I shrugged, "I mean, it sounded bad to me, Ryan. We were there, talking about Aiden, but I couldn't help taking everything he said as a personal attack. It didn't end well."
"He could always turn around." Ryan suggested, "I mean, I know it looks bad now, but you never know."
I just shrugged and we both fell into an awkward silence. We both knew that there was nothing that Ryan could say to make me feel better about Adam. I had lost a friendship today. Maybe it wasn't a very long friendship, but I had come to value the few friendships that I did have, and the loss was going to hurt for a while.
"So, is this why you're worried about Aiden coming out?" Ryan suddenly asked, "Because you think that people will figure you out too?"
"The thought did cross my mind." I admitted.
"I don't think you should worry about that right now, Owen. I mean, look at me. I probably hang out with more homosexuals on a regular basis than you do, and no one would ever think that I was gay."
"But you're not gay."
"True." He shrugged, "But I still bet that no one figures you out. Not unless you and Aiden get caught...um, doing something."
"Alright." I smirked, but then became serious again. "I am worried about it though, Ryan. I mean, not just about being outed because of my relationship with Aiden. I'm worried about what could happen to Aiden if he does come out."
"He's going to be fine no matter what, Owen." Ryan insisted, "Believe me, Aiden's a fighter. And no matter what, he'll always have his friends. I know I'll be there for him, and I think we both know that you'll be there for him...and you know, I know that you're not ready to come out yet, and I'm not going to tell anyone about you. But, just remember this; you have friends, and in the end, we'll still be there for you too, as much as we will be for Aiden."
That sounded familiar. Nicky had said something that had sounded similar, in a life that seemed too long ago. I wondered if he had even meant it. I wondered if Ryan meant it. Then, I chastised myself for even doubting Ryan. I knew better than to think that Ryan would ever do anything to hurt me. I flashed him a small, grateful smile.
"Thanks, Ryan."
"Hey, I'm here, man." He grinned, "But no more missing our workouts, huh?"
"Yeah, sorry about that." I smiled.
"So, do you want to go out or something?" he asked, "We could catch a movie. It might take your mind off some of this stuff."
"Nah." I shook my head. "I think I'm gonna hang out here for a while, and then I have to go to work."
"Mind if I stick around then?" Ryan grinned, "I'd hate to go home and face mom before I have to...besides, now that I know you're um, gay and all, I feel the need to ask you something, and I need an honest answer."
I looked at Ryan, curious over the serious expression on his face, and for a second I was a little worried about what he wanted to ask me.
"What is it?" I asked.
Ryan stood up and walked around the table, lifting his jacket, right before he made a point to bend over. "So, like, do you think my ass is really fat like coach said? I mean, I always thought that I had a damn sexy ass, myself."
His ass, made the perfect target for my shoe.
.....................
I didn't get to see Aiden before I went to work, so all night I wondered about how his conversation with Janie went, and dreaded telling him about my own conversation with Adam. But, I did want to see him. I hated that we hadn't spoken since that morning. It was way too long to go without seeing him.
Unfortunately, when I knocked on Aiden's door after work, there was no answer. And when I went upstairs, his bag was gone from my room. That didn't surprise me. It was Monday and he had planned on going back home, since his mother was gone.
But he wasn't home, and I was going stir crazy.
Tony was actually home again, and we ate a quick dinner together. Chris had filled him in on my eventful day, at least the parts he knew about it.
"You're not suspended." Tony explained, "But you are kicked out of gym class. You'll have a free period now, unless you want to see if there is an opening available in another class."
"I might do that." I nodded, "Sorry you guys had to go through the trouble, though."
"I'd just like to know why you're always the one to blame when Dennis Gordon is involved." Tony said bitterly.
"I did throw a basketball at his head." I admitted sheepishly.
"Which was childish." Tony frowned, "But you didn't ask him to pick a fight with you. Just, do me a favor, okay? Since you're no longer in any classes with Dennis..."
"I'll stay away from him." I promised. "I mean it, no more fighting."
"Good." Tony nodded. "So, how did it go today with Aiden? Did Janie cause any trouble for you guys?"
"Not that I know of." I replied "Aiden talked to her earlier, but I haven't really seen him much today."
I went on to tell Tony about the rest of my day, including Adam's bad reaction to homosexuality and my coming out to Ryan. Tony was disappointed about Adam, but he seemed mostly concerned about my feelings towards it. I had done enough of sharing my feelings for one day, so I left my answers vague. But, I think Tony was proud of me for coming out to Ryan, and he let me know that he thought it had been a good decision, which only reinforced my belief that I could trust Ryan.
It was nine o'clock when Tony and I started cleaning up dinner. There was a knock on the door and I looked up from the dishes I was washing, hoping that it was Aiden, but Tony shattered all hopes of that.
"That's Jake." Tony announced. "Are you gonna be okay by yourself for a few hours?"
"Yeah, I'll finish cleaning up and probably just go to bed." I replied.
"Thanks Owen."
Tony left with a smile on his face. It was kind of nice, seeing him so happy, and it was obvious that Jake was the reason why he seemed so happy. I wondered if Aiden made me smile like that. I got my answer when the very thought caused my lips to curl up at the corners.
When I finished cleaning up the kitchen, I went down to knock on Aiden's door again, but there was still no answer. I was beginning to wonder where he was, at the same time trying to avoid the thought that he could be with Janie.
There wasn't much I could do besides wait, at least where Aiden was concerned. And, it was already late. If I wanted to meet Ryan for our workout I would have to go to bed soon.
But, since I hadn't taken my shower yet, and I definitely needed one, I decided to go get cleaned up, and then I would try Aiden's door one more time before I went to bed.
The nice thing about our building is, we never have to fight for hot water. Actually, most of the time the water is too hot, but it's perfect for relaxing away muscle aches, and I had built up plenty of tension during the course of the day.
Under the water, I closed my eyes and just relaxed. I needed it. I needed to take the time and clear my mind. Forget the day. Forget Janie. Forget Adam. Forget my concerns. They would be back soon enough. For now, I just wanted to forget everything except for the way that the hot water was beating down on my back.
I had just finished washing the shampoo from my hair when there was a soft tap on the bathroom door. I didn't think much of it and hummed my response. I wasn't even sure that it was loud enough for anyone to hear, but the door opened anyways, causing me to open my eyes.
"Tony?" I called, wondering if my brother was back early.
The only response I got was a cold rush of air against my ass as the shower curtain was pulled back. But before I could look back, a pair of familiar arms wrapped around me from behind.
I closed my eyes and leaned back, folding my arms over Aiden's as he pressed against my back, his soft organ against the cleft of my ass. I felt his mouth against my ear and as his teeth grazed my lobe, followed by his tongue, and it sent a shiver down my body.
"I thought you went home tonight." I said, "I stopped by, but you weren't there."
"I was going to go home." He replied, moving his hand up and down my stomach, sending more chills down my body and causing my cock to slowly inflate. "I did go home. But, I wanted to see you."
"In the shower?" I smirked, turning my head so that his lips brushed my cheek.
"That was just a bonus." He chuckled, loosening his grip on me so I could turn around and face him.
I rested my hands loosely on his hips. He was standing so that his erection was only slightly brushing against mine, but it was enough to make me jump and lean in closer, wanting more contact.
"I'm glad you came over." I said.
Aiden smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. I needed that kiss. It was soft at first, lips on lips and wet because of the water. I closed my eyes and felt his tongue slowly brush over my mouth before I opened for him, bringing my hand to cup the back of his head and my fingers to tangle in his hair, dragging him closer and thrusting my tongue against his, into his mouth. He tasted sweet, oddly enough, like skittles, and I found myself pushing my tongue in deeper, wanting to taste as much of him as I could get, inhaling his scent through my nostrils, trying to distinguish his unique smell from the soapy aroma laced in the steam from the shower.
He gradually slid his hands down my back, spreading his fingers and cupping my ass as he urged me closer to him until our stiff erections were pressed together. I slowly rotated my hips, grinding against him until he groaned against my mouth and pulled me closer. I broke the kiss but kept my lips against his, speaking against his mouth.
"Are you sleeping here tonight?" I asked, "I still want to talk to you."
Aiden hummed his affirmative response, right before thrusting his tongue back into my mouth, over mine, coaxing me to open wider, which I did without hesitation, allowing him to taste me as he deepened the kiss.
I pushed my hand between our bodies and closed my fingers around both of our erections, stroking upwards. Aiden's body arched slightly and our mouths, being pressed so tightly together, muffled the small sound that escaped his throat.
I could feel him, lightly trembling, his body obviously trying to hold back, so I broke away from the kiss and slowly moved my hands up his chest, circling his nipples with my index fingers as I moved my mouth over his neck, flicking my tongue against his throat.
I moved with him as he leaned backwards, holding himself up against the shower wall and bracing his feet on the bath mat to keep from slipping. I wrapped one arm around him, wanting to make sure he kept his balance as I moved my tongue over his neck, lightly grazing his skin with my teeth until I reached his chest, swirling my tongue over his right nipple, flicking at the hard little bead and then closing my teeth gently over it as his chest arched up.
I moved my hand down his back, over his ass, to his thigh before I moved slowly up again, dipping the tips of my fingers into his cleft. I moved my other hand down his side and held his hip as I carefully dropped down, closing my eyes as the water hit the top of my head and ran down my face.
I moved my mouth over his stomach, pausing to nibble and lick in places before I continued my descent down, pushing my tongue through the thin trail of dark hair, beginning under his navel, leading downwards, my tongue only brushing against the side of his engorged erection.
As I kissed the base of his shaft, just above his balls, I felt Aiden's fingers moving through my hair as he pushed his hips forward, lightly grinding his cock against my face. I nuzzled against his organ as I pushed my tongue against his balls and then closed my lips over them, suckling as I traced the cleft of his ass with a finger, brushing over his sphincter. Aiden pressed back against the contact, sliding his legs a little further apart, the long, ripped muscles in his legs flexing as he kept his balance.
I pulled my mouth from his balls and kissed each of his inner thighs, nipping at his sensitive skin there as my finger brushed over his hole again.
His fingers closed over my head, trapping my hair as he wriggled his hips, arching towards me and widening his stance even more to grant further access. His gentle gasps and moans only deepened as I moved my mouth over the head of his erection, sealing my lips and flicking my tongue against his tiny slit, tasting a bead of pre-come.
I gripped the cheeks of his ass, spreading him wider as I pulled him towards my face, taking more of his shaft into my mouth, stretching my jaw and willing my throat to open and accommodate him.
Aiden's grip on my hair tightened and he suddenly thrust forward. I choked, but forced myself to control it when I realized that my nose was brushing up against his pubic hair. I hadn't expected to take so much of him in. My throat hurt and I couldn't breathe, not with the water constantly running down my face and my throat tightening around his cock. But at the moment I didn't care. His appreciative groan was reward enough.
He sounded beautiful.
Aiden's hips began to thrust slowly as I guided him in and out of my mouth, and when I brushed over his hole, pressing against the rough skin before tracing lower into his cleft to finger his perineum, his whole body began to wriggle.
I forced my eyes open, ignoring the water pouring into them and glanced up at Aiden. Damn he was hot. I mean, really hot. Sure, it could be called beautiful, but at the moment, I was sticking with hot.
He was leaning against the shower wall, his head turned slightly to the side. His hair, drenched with the water stuck to his neck and face, covering his eyes. His lips were slightly parted, still a little swollen from our kissing. His shoulders were against the shower wall, his arms turned down as he gripped my hair. The water was hitting his chest, running down his body. His abs seemed strained from his hips being arched forward and his legs parted, while his feet held firm against the bath mat, his toes curling to keep his balance. His breaths were coming in heavy gasps and small grunts as he tried to maintain his balance and attempted to arch his hips further up.
I took him into my mouth again, pushing my tongue against his shaft as I guided him deeper and applied more pressure against his perineum, brushing my finger back and forth, from the bottom of his sphincter to his balls. His body suddenly arched again and his shoulders dropped, his hands moving over my head and down my neck. His finger gripped my shoulders as he held himself up, using my body as a brace. I pulled my mouth back up the shaft of his cock, sealing my lips and swallowing as he came.
I placed my hands on Aiden's hips and guided him down to me as I let his softening member drop from my mouth. The shower floor was not the most comfortable place to be, even with the spongy mat, but at the moment I didn't care.
I pushed Aiden's hair back, out of his face and he dropped his lips over mine, nibbling until I opened and he thrust his tongue into my mouth, moving one hand down my back, cupping my ass and lifting me slightly off the floor as his other hand moved down my chest, his thumb brushing over my nipple before he moved lower, wrapping his fingers around my now aching cock.
He pulled his mouth away from mine and licked a few drops of water trickling down my cheek as he squeezed my erection, causing my body to instinctively arch up into his hand, my shaft grinding against the contact he offered.
"God, you're so good at that." He murmured.
I wrapped my arm around his neck and turned my head to find his lips again, kissing him and finding that I was grateful for the praise. I arched up as he moved his hand, stroking the length of my shaft, but when I felt his fingers dip into the cleft of my ass and press deliberately against my hole, I jumped.
That type of contact was definitely something that I wasn't used to. It wasn't that it hurt, and it wasn't even uncomfortable, actually, if anything it sent a small jolt to my cock. But, I wasn't used to it and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be.
I had never understood how Dan could offer up his body so freely to me. I wasn't sure how anyone could ever feel that trusting of another person.
I wasn't sure if I would ever have the guts to open myself to someone in that way.
It wasn't that anal sex was unappealing to me, and I had enjoyed it the one time that I had experienced it, but I hadn't been ready for it. And although I knew that Aiden was in no way trying to shove his cock up my virgin ass at the moment, the contact still gave me a scare.
And Aiden noticed it.
He withdrew his hand and pulled back from our kiss. For a moment I was worried that he was annoyed with me, but his expression seemed more questioning and concerned.
"Are you okay?" he asked, sitting back on his heels. I sat up, nodding as I pushed my wet hair back with my fingers.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm just not used to that."
Aiden's hand came up and gently touched my shoulder.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked.
"No." I insisted, "It didn't hurt, it's just..."
I looked away for a moment, trying not to blush. I had some experience, and I knew exactly how to give someone else pleasure. I was even growing more confidence, learning Aiden's body. But Aiden was different than Dan was. Dan had been almost what I'd call submissive. He liked it when I became the aggressor. Aiden seemed to like that too, but Aiden could become just as aggressive when it came to touching my body. And I liked it, but it still scared me. Part of me was concerned that I was acting skittish and he'd become annoyed with it.
"Are we moving to fast, Owen?" Aiden asked. Again, there was no annoyance in his voice, only concern.
"I wouldn't say that." I grinned, "It's just that...I'm still trying to figure out what I'm ready for, Aiden."
He gave me a measuring look, and once again I averted my eyes. I don't know why I suddenly felt like an insecure virgin. Maybe I just wanted to impress him, and I hated that he couldn't even touch me in certain ways without me flinching.
"Come here." He smiled at me and cupped the back of my head, guiding me back towards him.
I let out a relieved breath and parted my lips as his mouth came over mine, kissing me, reassuring me. Aiden wrapped his arm around me again, pressing his palm against my back as he moved his mouth over my face, kissing my cheek and then flicking his tongue over my ear. "We can go slow. Just tell me if I do something that you don't like, and I'll stop."
I guess I could live with that. Actually, I knew I could when he swirled his tongue against my ear, his breath sending a warm shiver all the way through my body. I reached for him, placing my hands on his hips as I lifted myself to sit on my knees, pressing against Aiden so that we were chest to chest and my erection pushed against his stomach, the head of his semi-hard cock brushing against the underside of my shaft.
"Do you wanna get out of here?" I asked, as he moved his mouth to my neck, nipping and suckling my skin between his teeth.
As much as I was enjoying the shower, I had had enough. The water was still hot and the steam seemed to be clouding the entire room. The heat was becoming somewhat overwhelming, and I was ready to get out. Besides, I could continue this with Aiden in the comfort of my own bed.
"Uh-uh." He mumbled, "Not yet. I want you to turn around."
Turn around? I pulled back and gave him a questioning look. I was feeling some of that nervousness rising to the surface again. What did he want to do? Why did I have to turn around for it?
"Aiden, maybe we should get out." I suggested, hoping that he wouldn't take it the wrong way.
He brushed a strand of dripping hair from his face and then lifted my hand, brought it to his lips, and gently kissed my knuckles.
"We can if you want." He smiled. "But I'd like to try something. If you don't like it, I'll stop."
I studied him for a moment, wondering what I wanted to do. Part of me was curious...not to mention incredibly horny. And so far, Aiden hadn't done anything that I didn't like. I decided to trust him for the time being, believing that he would stop if I asked him to. So, slowly I stood up, stretching my legs before turning my back to him.
As I sank back down I felt a change in water temperature and jumped a little, realizing that Aiden had turned down the hot water. It wasn't cold, but now the heat was less intense. Then, his hands moved over my hips, guiding me back, towards him so that my knees were resting on the mat when I was finally settled.
But, when I began to lean back against him he wrapped one arm around my waist and placed his palm below my navel, while his other hand gently pressed between my shoulders, guiding me forward until I caught my weight on my hands.
I wasn't sure what I had been expecting, but ending up on my hands and knees in the shower was not it. It actually seemed a little humiliating, the position I found myself in. I was ready to object to it already, but when Aiden's hand moved between my thighs and suddenly cupped my balls, I gasped and raised my ass further into the air.
I felt him leaning over me, almost hovering as his mouth came down over my shoulders and his tongue fluttered out, moving over my back, while his hand continued to fondle my balls, causing me to push back against him.
When his hand moved away from my balls, and his other hand joined it, his fingers suddenly digging into my cleft again, prying apart my cheeks, I caught myself flinching again.
"Just relax." I heard Aiden whisper before his mouth closed over my back, kissing and licking, grazing my skin with his teeth. His thumb began to trace all the way up and down my crack, brushing over my sphincter each time.
And I tried to relax. Actually, it wasn't all that difficult once I reminded myself that he would stop if I just asked him to. But, admittedly, I didn't want him to stop. His mouth, moving over my back had a calming effect, at the same time sending chills over my heated skin, while every time his thumb moved against my perineum and then lower, tickling the bottom of my balls before moving up and pressing against my hole, it had me pushing back, wanting more contact. And as his mouth moved lower I began to realize what he was doing, because I had been on the opposite end of it several times with Dan.
And I was about to discover just what the appeal was.
When Aiden's tongue first moved into the cleft of my ass, it just felt weird. But when his tongue stiffened and he circled my sphincter, and then gently pressed against it, my hole twitched and I inadvertently pushed back, while an unfamiliar sensation traveled through my balls and to my cock, which suddenly demanded to be touched.
I felt his tongue move lower, up against my perineum as his hand moved to fondle my balls, rolling them against his fingers and I raised my ass higher, suddenly caring about nothing except for the amazing sensations flowing through my body.
He pushed his tongue over my hole again and I gasped, pressing back as he continued to work against my sphincter. I could almost feel myself loosening. My entrance felt like it was twitching, and the ache in my cock was so intense that I continued to push back, wriggling, silently wanting him to touch my erection. But he continued to fondle my balls in a slow, torturous way while his tongue moved back and forth over my hole, the contact leaving me to crave more.
When Aiden flattened his palm over my balls and rubbed gently upwards before wrapping his hand around my erection and giving me a squeeze, I moaned and pushed my ass back, gasping as his tongue suddenly breached my entrance.
I could feel the tip of his tongue inside me, pushing further; and then my body, clamping around it. I whimpered as the sudden need to come overtook me and I pressed back again. But then he released my cock and moved back to my testicles, massaging with his fingers.
I rotated my hips against him as he continued to thrust with his tongue, silently begging him to touch my cock again, which suddenly felt so hard that the pressure was almost too much to bear. But, I couldn't seem to form the words to tell him. Other than a few references to Aiden being god, he had reduced me to a whimpering, moaning mess.
But what an amazing mess.
Other than the urge to grab my cock and stroke myself into oblivion, which I couldn't do without losing my balance, and slamming face-first into the hard shower floor, I had no other complaints. I had thought that our grinding session at the theater had been intense, but this was an experience that I wouldn't forget. It was one that I'd care to repeat.
I felt his hands on my ass again, spreading my cheeks, stretching my hole, as his tongue thrust in deeper. I whimpered and began to buck back harder, against every thrust.
Just when the sensations became so intense that I feared that I would black out, I felt the familiar tug in my balls as they lifted and I spent myself, my come shooting up against my chest and over the shower floor.
It was only a moment later when I felt Aiden's arm around me, holding me up. I lifted myself onto my knees and leaned back against his chest, and I let my head fall back against his shoulder.
Aiden absently used the falling water to wash my ejaculation from my chest, moving his hand down to rinse the sticky substance from my pubic hair.
It took me another few minutes to realize that I had just had my first ever orgasm without having touched myself. And it had been incredible. I reached back, and wrapped my arm around his neck, turning my head to initiate a hard, aggressive kiss. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and nipped his lips, and Aiden just followed with slower, softer movements until my body cooled and the kiss slowly ended.
Aiden kissed my temple and then chuckled against my ear as he tightened his arms around me and hugged me to him.
"Liked that, did you?" he teased.
"You," I sighed, "can do that any time you want."
.................
The stress of the day had been washed away in that shower with Aiden, and we never really did get a chance to discuss Janie or Adam before we both passed out, cuddled together in my bed.
But that didn't mean that the issues and worries of the day still weren't on my mind. I had simply chosen to take a break from them, at least until morning, when I awakened at four-fifteen to the sound of a phone ringing instead of my alarm clock.
After seeing the time, I reached for the phone near my bed quickly, before Tony or Chris ended up hearing it. I brought it tiredly to my ear and hummed my response, surprised to hear Ryan, calling to cancel our workout. At least for the morning. It turned out that I wasn't the only one who had been kicked out of gym, so Ryan and I decided that instead of waking up at four thirty every morning, we would start using the time when we normally would have been in gym, to go to his house and work out.
By the time I hung up with Ryan, I was ready to cuddle back up to Aiden and go back to sleep, but when he turned around to face me I realized that his eyes were wide open and he was already awake.
"Hey." He smiled, "Ryan?"
I nodded, and then I went on to tell Aiden about what had happened in gym the day before, and how Ryan and I had decided that there was no longer a need to wake up so early.
"That is such bullshit." Aiden frowned, "I'm so sick of Dennis Gordon. You guys shouldn't have gotten in trouble."
"We weren't completely innocent." I admitted, "But, I know what you mean about Dennis. I guess it's all for the best though, I don't have to worry about seeing him in class anymore. And, yesterday, when Ryan and I ended up back here, I came out to him."
Aiden's eyes widened for a moment and then he grinned, wrapping his arm a little tighter around me.
"Good," he remarked, "Now I won't have to worry every time I want to do this in front of him."
I smiled as he leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against mine before resting his head back against the pillows. It was so nice just lying there with him, looking at him. It felt peaceful. I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to stay there all day, and forget about everything else.
But I couldn't.
"I talked to Adam yesterday too." I said, my smile fading, "It didn't go so great, Aiden. Actually, it went pretty bad."
Aiden gave me a sympathetic look and moved his hand to my neck, gently massaging with his fingers.
"You didn't tell Adam about you, right?" he asked.
"No." I stated, "But he's not very happy about you. He was pretty clear about how he felt. We're not exactly friends anymore."
"Sorry, Owe." He sighed, "I didn't have the greatest luck with Janie, either."
"What happened?" I asked, a little more eagerly than I meant to. But damn, I had been waiting to find out what was going to happen as far as Janie was concerned.
"Well, I told her that I was gay, and there was nothing she could do to change it." He explained. "I don't think she'll ever believe it, Owen. That's always going to be a part of me that she'll never understand. But, I did make it clear that nothing will ever happen between her and me. I think she was actually more upset about that...she said she'd tell everyone, Owen. She said she'd let everyone know how sick I was."
I watched as Aiden's eyes glassed over with watery tears, but they didn't fall. Still, it was enough to tug at my heart and cause me to wrap my arm around him. I pressed my forehead against his and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
"I'm sorry, Aiden." I whispered.
"You know, I've thought about coming out, Owen. I really think I can handle this. But Janie...she was my best...it just hurts to know that she'd do this. It's like; our friendship never meant anything to her at all. And she was there for me, too. She was there after Asher and my dad died. She was my friend then, and when my mom started drinking...was it all just a game to her?"
"I don't know." I sighed. "I'm really sorry Aiden. I'm sorry she's doing this to you. I don't know how to stop it... but I can promise you that you won't be alone for this."
Aiden gave me a small smile and then kissed me on the lips, just softly. I cupped the back of his head and pulled him closer, but only resting my mouth against his in an effort to comfort, not to escalate it into something more.
After a few minutes Aiden rolled into me, burying his face against my neck, and as I ran my fingers absently through his hair, we slowly drifted back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, I only had about an hour before I had to get to school. I climbed out of bed carefully, deciding to let Aiden sleep for a few more minutes. I pulled on a pair of jeans and headed towards the bathroom, inhaling the scent of pancakes on my way. It was definitely nice having Tony home in the mornings.
I was just about to walk into the bathroom when Tony appeared at the end of the hall, a troubled expression planted on his face.
"Owen?" he called, "Um, can you come out here?" and then he turned and silently walked away.
Confused, I watched after my brother for a moment and then looked into the bathroom. The toilet really did sound appealing at the moment. I had a full bladder and a healthy morning wood to piss away. But, the look on Tony's face had me walking out towards the living room, where I stopped in my tracks upon seeing Adam sitting on the sofa.
Adam looked exhausted, and he was just sitting there, staring blankly at the floor while Tony stood three feet away, suspiciously watching him.
"Adam?" I said carefully.
Adam's head snapped up and he jumped to his feet, spinning around and locking his eyes with mine.
"Owen," he started in a voice that seemed almost too serious to be coming from Adam, "I need to...."
Adam had stopped talking, and while I waited for him to continue, with my arms defensively crossed, I realized that he was no longer looking at me. He was looking past me now, his eyes slowly growing wider.
When I saw Tony take on a more concerned expression, I spun around to see what they were both looking at, and what I saw was Aiden, tiredly coming down the hall, dressed in nothing but a pair of my boxers.
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