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If you are interested in a story about gay teenage males, then please take your time and enjoy. Feedback/comments/suggestions and even complaints are welcome at DomLuka@aol.com
Chapter fourteen: Confrontation
I think sleeping in until noon on a Saturday is exactly what a seventeen-year-old boy is supposed to do, especially when you have someone like Aiden sleeping next to you.
I was learning quickly that Aiden was a cuddler. He wasn't the type to roll away in the middle of the night no matter how warm to room got; he'd kick off the covers instead. And if I rolled away from him, he'd find me again in less than two minutes.
Since I woke up first Saturday morning, I watched him trying to find me on the bed while I quietly got dressed. He finally moved to where I had been laying and hugged my pillow. He was so cute.
And so naked.
His morning erection was right in my view, but I resisted the urge to wake him up in my own special way because the night before had been a long and emotional one. I wanted to let him sleep. So I settled for giving him a kiss on the cheek and pulling the sheets up over his hips in case Chris or Tony decided to check in on him.
When I ventured into the kitchen I was surprised to see that Tony was there in his bathrobe, his hair tangled, and he was just pulling things out of the refrigerator to cook breakfast.
He hadn't come home the night before, and for Tony, that was highly unusual. I guess that meant that things were going well for him and Jake. And I was happy for him.
"So, Jake keep you up late last night?" I remarked.
Tony glared at me as he cracked some eggs into a pan and lifted a spatula.
"That's none of your business." He replied, but I could see the blush creeping into his cheeks, and the smile that he couldn't quite keep hidden.
"So that's a yes." I rolled my eyes at him. "Is Chris still sleeping?"
Tony frowned, nodding.
"Why don't you start the pancakes." He suggested, so I grabbed the mix and a bowl. "I hear you met Karen Knightly last night."
Obviously, Chris had told him what happened with Aiden's mom.
"Yeah." I replied, "But I met her once before that too, but only for a few minutes...um...Aiden told me a little about his family last night."
Tony only slightly nodded, but he looked like he knew what I was talking about.
"How is Aiden?" he asked.
"He's still asleep. I guess last night he seemed okay. A little sad."
"He always seems okay." Tony said sadly.
"You don't think he is?" I asked.
"This sort of thing happens a lot, Owen. But, you've probably already figured that out. Aiden handles it better sometimes than he does others, but still, it has to be hard on anyone. He doesn't like to talk about it, but you can tell he's hurting most of the time, even if he is good at hiding it."
Good at hiding it? Yeah, I guess he was good at hiding it. A feeling of utter stupidity washed over me as I thought about every time I had assumed that Aiden was fine just because there was a smile on his face. Me, of all people should have seen the signs of someone hiding something that was clearly wrong.
Or, maybe I had seen the signs with Aiden and I just ignored it because I didn't think it was any of my business.
"It doesn't seem fair." I sighed. "Aiden is so...he's just great. He deserves to be happy. It kind of pisses me off that his mom could do what she does when she knows that it hurts him."
"It makes me mad too, Owen." Tony replied, "But we can only do so much, even if it means just being there for both Aiden and his mom. Karen is a good person, you know. She just has a lot of problems. Chris was up all night with her. Maybe he said something that will get through this time."
"Aiden said that it's happened before, but nothing ever works."
"Well, this time is a little different." he replied, and then changed the subject without elaborating further. "You wanna start the coffee?"
"Sure." I placed the mixing bowl of pancake batter near the stove where Tony had fired up another skillet and I went to start the coffee. I watched the dark liquid drain into the pot and when it turned into a weak dribble I poured a cup and brought it to Tony.
"Thanks." He grinned and took a large sip, not caring if it burned his tongue. While he was preoccupied with his beverage, I took the spatula from him to flip the bacon, and then lifted a second identical utensil to flip the first two pancakes.
Once Tony had taken about half of his coffee he returned to help me and we had breakfast cooked in no time. We were just sitting down when Aiden tiredly appeared in the kitchen, wearing a pair of my sweat pants. I couldn't help the way I suddenly felt lighter upon seeing him, or the smile plastering itself to my face. Aiden's eyes settled on me and I could see the same goofy grin making its appearance over his lips. Our little stares did not go unnoticed by Tony, who laughed and made us both blush.
"It's way too early in the morning to have to hose the two of you down." Tony remarked, "Grab some food, Aiden."
While I was busy glaring at my brother Aiden did as he was told, and when he sat down his foot quickly came to rest against mine. I smiled at him and we proceeded to make eyes at each other, much to Tony's disgust.
But for me, my brother was no longer in the room. All I could see was Aiden as I tried to sort out all of the feelings I had for him. I had never really felt that way before; the sudden swell in my chest, the ability to hear my own heartbeat, and the need to remind myself to breathe. I had heard the term pussy whipped, and I'm not sure it could apply in Aiden's case, but I'm pretty sure that the meaning did.
But it was also so much more than physical. The experience at the drive-in would be one permanently molded into my memory. But last night, Aiden had also opened up to me. He talked about things that I doubted he told many people, and although the nature of the conversation was a sad one, it made me feel so good that he would share those things with me.
Our little spell was broken when Chris trotted into the kitchen dressed in a t-shirt and boxer shorts and silently filled his plate. He looked just as tired as Tony and Aiden. I was the only one fully dressed and looking wide-awake.
"Morning." Chris mumbled as he approached the table with his plate. "What's going on?"
"We have love birds at the table." Tony remarked, "I'm afraid if they keep staring at each other like that, they'll end up wasting away; haven't even touched their food yet."
Both Aiden and I turned another glare on Tony, and Chris just laughed. The sad thing was, I really hadn't touched my food since Aiden sat down. One glance at Aiden told me that the same thing was true for him, so we both began to eat along with my brothers.
Breakfast was relatively quiet. It wasn't uncomfortable; it was just four young men who would have rather stuffed their faces than attempt to engage in conversation. But once everyone had a few cups of coffee, people began to perk up a little bit.
"Do you guys have plans for today?" Tony asked Aiden and me.
"I need to go home soon." Aiden said quietly.
That announcement seemed to bring a silence to the table. I watched as my brothers looked at each other, doing that silent communication thing that they did. Something was up. I wondered if Aiden noticed the silent exchange between the two of them. When Chris put down his fork, my attention automatically went to him. You can always tell that something serious is going on if Chris stops eating.
"Um, Aiden," Chris said, "We need to talk."
Aiden didn't look surprised, but he lifted his eyes and gave his full attention to my brothers.
"There are some things you need to know before you go home." Tony told him.
I suddenly felt like I needed to give them some privacy and shoveled the last few bites of my food into my mouth and stood up.
"I'm, eh...I'll be in the living room." I announced. But just when I was about to walk away, Aiden's sudden grip on my arm stopped me and I turned to look at him.
"You can stay, Owen." Aiden said with a sheepish grin, "If you want to."
I smiled back and slowly reclaimed my seat. Aiden's hand didn't leave my arm, but slid down it, and took my hand. I wrapped my fingers around his, completely comfortable showing affection for him in front of my brothers. When we were all settled, Aiden sat up a little straighter and then looked pointedly at Chris.
"Okay." He said, "Let's hear it."
"I had a long talk with your mom last night." Chris sighed. "On Monday morning she's checking herself back into rehab."
"For how long this time?" Aiden shrugged, unimpressed. "She won't even last a week."
"Actually, Aiden, that's not true." Tony said, "You know that after she was arrested last week she was ordered to go into treatment."
"And she's going to meetings already." Aiden replied, "It's not really doing much good, so what's the difference?"
"By drinking last night she violated her parole." Chris said. "I told her that if she didn't check herself into an inpatient program and finish it, I'd report her."
Aiden raided his eyebrows at this, and I started feeling a little nervous.
"You'd rat out my mother?" he asked, although there was no anger in his voice.
"Yes, I would." Chris said, matter of factly. "Now, when her court date comes up for the last arrest she is going to plead guilty to avoid jail time. Since she was charged with assault for throwing that vase at you, and it's not her first charge, the judge will likely give her two years probation. If she messes up in that time, she could go to jail. You already know that she's stressed out about that."
Aiden silently nodded. And I had a visual of his mom throwing a vase at him. I guess that explained the night of the police sirens and Aiden's appearance with a cut on his head.
"She's probably going to have to take anger management classes too." Tony said. "We want to help her Aiden. I know that you do too."
"She won't let us help." Aiden argued, "And I don't care what a judge says, she's never going to change!"
"She's going to try, Aiden." Chris insisted, "Now look, I know you like to be independent, but we think of you as family, and we want you to come stay with us for a while."
Aiden opened his mouth and immediately began to protest, but Tony held up his hand to stop him.
"Just hear us out, Aiden." Tony insisted. "Your mom needs some space right now. And you both need some time to cool off. We already talked to her, and she agrees that you should stay here for at least this weekend, until she leaves on Monday. You can go down and see her today, she wants to talk to you, but for the rest of the weekend, stay here. We know that you're old enough to stay by yourself, so when she leaves on Monday you can go home if you want, but you don't have to, we would like it if you stayed here."
"She'll be in rehab for about two weeks." Chris said, "We know that's not a long time, but if she does well, she'll come home and continue with the out patient treatment. When she gets back, we think you should stay here then too, at least until you're both ready to live together again."
"It's not like you'd be far away." Tony added, "Just up the stairs. But you need a place to come home to where you don't have to deal with all the stress, and you and your mom living together just isn't working out."
"We know you want to be there for here," Chris said, "but maybe you being there is the problem, Aiden. She relies on you too much. You're mom needs to get her shit together, and she needs to do it without you."
"We're not telling you what to do, here." Tony continued, "And we're not forcing you to move in here Aiden, that decision is up to you, but when you go home today, your mom is going to tell you that you should stay here for a while. We just want you to think about it."
The table fell into silence again, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from adding my own opinion. The very idea of Aiden moving in with us--sleeping in my bed every night-- had me wanting to do back flips. But it was selfish on my part, and I felt guilty for feeling that way. Aiden had problems, and I needed to think about those first, before I thought about what I wanted.
The silence dragged on until Aiden let go of my hand and abruptly stood up. "I need to think." Was all he said, and then he left the three of us there to watch him walk away.
Chris and Tony looked stressed, but hopeful. I imagined that they had been trying to get Aiden to move in for a while, but he always refused before because he wanted to be around for his mom, or he didn't want to be a burden on two twenty two year old guys. I knew how he felt in that sense; it was something I had struggled with. I thought that the last thing my brothers needed was a seventeen-year-old kid hanging around, but since then I've realized that they wanted me around, not because they wanted to be parents, but because they loved me and wanted their brother with them. They obviously cared about Aiden too. I cared about Aiden.
I suddenly had the urge to go after him and didn't fight it. I stood up and started to silently walk away.
"Owen." Tony called.
I looked back, thinking that they were going to tell me not to go, but they just smiled, "Just don't push him." Tony said, "This is something he needs to decide."
I nodded and continued on my way. My bedroom door was closed so I knocked before I opened it and found Aiden perched on my bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He wasn't crying, but it looked like he had a pretty good headache. He didn't look up when I came in, but I'm sure he knew that I was there.
I sat down next to him and put my arm around him, absently running my fingers through his hair until he leaned into me, placing his hand on my thigh and burying his face in my neck.
"They're right about me, Owen." He said softly, so softly that I almost didn't hear him. "I'm making it worse, by being there. It's my fault."
"It's not your fault. You didn't ask your mom to be a drunk, Aiden."
"I might as well have." He retorted, pulling away to look at me. He looked angry, but I knew that it wasn't directed at me. "Do you know what I do, Owen? I go around the house looking for all of her stashes, but when I find the bottles, I don't throw them out. I hide them from her instead. Because if I throw them out, she just gets mad, and I'm too much of a damn coward to let my mother get mad at me. So when I hide the bottles, she cries. I hate it when she cries! She says she just needs one drink. She says she needs it to look at me because every time she does she sees my brother." He spat bitterly, "So I give her what she wants. I help her do the one thing that I hate about her. I'm weak Owen, and I'm not helping her. The only thing I do to help her is hold her hair back over the toilet when she's puking at two in the fucking morning!"
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything at all. Maybe I was just supposed to listen. He was venting, and he just needed me to listen. When he dropped his head back into his hands I rubbed his back and waited, wondering if he was going to say anything else.
He wasn't crying, but his breathing was ragged, like he was trying to control his temper. After several deep breaths, he composed himself and slowly sat up again.
"Sorry." He mumbled, "I didn't mean to go off like that."
"It's okay." I insisted, "But I still don't think it's your fault."
Aiden gave me a small, grateful smile, but it was clear that he wasn't about to agree with me anytime soon.
"Thanks." He sighed.
"So, are you going to go talk to her?"
"I have to." he nodded.
I lifted his hand and kissed it.
"If you want to talk when you get back, I'll be here." I said.
Aiden's smile suddenly faded and he began to shake his head.
"Owen, I can't stay here, you guys..."
"One weekend can't hurt." I interrupted him, "No one is forcing you, Aiden, but Tony and Chris meant it when they said that they wanted you to stay here...and you know I want you to stay here."
"Yeah," Aiden laughed, "That's just because you wanna perve on me."
"Uh-huh." I wasn't about to deny it, "And I think you like me perving on you."
Aiden grinned lecherously and responded by kissing me, but his light, innocent kiss turned into a long hot one and ended with me on my back and Aiden over me. His hands were up my shirt and I grabbed his butt, pulling him closer and grinding our rapidly rising erections together. When he finally pulled away I groaned and he laughed.
"I really do need to get down there," he sighed, stretching.
I went to my closet and retrieved the shirt that went with the pants of mine he was wearing and tossed it to him, resisting the urge to insist that he stay a while longer. Instead, I watched him put the shirt on and then sat down next to him again, allowing him to put his arms around me.
"I'll be back." he promised, and then after another kiss, he was gone.
.............
Aiden moved in on Saturday night, at least for the weekend. He was still insisting that he would be fine to go home when Chris took his mom down to the rehab center on Monday, and said that everything would be fine once she got back.
No one seemed convinced of this except Aiden, and even he seemed to have his doubts. It was obvious that the talk he had with his mother had been difficult on him. He was there all day long and when he came back Saturday night he was visibly exhausted. He hardly touched his dinner and when he went to bed early, me, Tony, and Chris ended up moving around the apartment as quietly as possible, none of us really knowing what to do for him, and not wanting to wake him up. He really did need the rest.
By the time I climbed into bed a few hours later, I didn't think anything could have woken Aiden up, but as soon as I got into bed he was cuddling up to me, conscious or not.
I always slept better when Aiden was there, but that night I lay awake thinking. I was angry with Aiden's mom. It sucked enough that she was a drunk and put him through hell, but for her to blame it on Aiden because he shared his dead brother's face didn't sit right with me.
I wondered if it was hard for Aiden, to look in the mirror. Did his own reflection remind him of Asher? I guess I would never understand something like that. I knew loss, and I could only imagine how hard it would be to lose a brother. I wondered if it would be worse to lose a twin.
And Aiden not only lost his brother, but his father too, on the same day. I felt sad for him, because even though he hadn't technically lost his mother, he might as well have, to the alcohol. I found myself praying for the first time in a long time, that getting treatment would help Karen Knightly to be a better mother to Aiden.
...........
I showed up for work an hour early on Sunday. Jake had a crew at the apartment complex, but they weren't the guys I usually worked with, and when I reached the apartments that Jake told me to go to, I realized that they were the ones we had already painted and the guys were putting down tile in the kitchens, bathrooms, and walkways.
I didn't know much about laying tile, so I watched for a while, hoping that watching would help me get the hang of it when my shift started. A half hour after I got there, Jake was coming up behind me in his blue jump suit and dropping a hand on my shoulder.
"You're early." He commented.
"I know." I sighed, "I got tired of waiting around at home."
That was true. The morning had been a quiet one. Aiden didn't say much during breakfast and Chris and Tony were about as quiet as he was. No one had plans so we ended up lazing around. I was afraid that if I didn't get moving soon I'd be asleep by the time it was time to go to work.
"Well, I'm glad you're here," Jake smiled, "I wanted to talk to you anyways."
He motioned for me to follow him, so we left the building and we ended up in the parking lot where he leaned against a work truck that I assumed was his. He reached through the passenger window and removed a clipboard, flipping through a few papers before he looked at me again.
"The thing is, Owen, I've got enough people working here at the complex, but you've been doing a real good job. Some of the guys are actually complaining that you're getting your work done too fast." That worried me, and I'm sure it showed because Jake laughed, "Relax, Owen. You're not here to impress any of them. Now look, I've got another job I'm supposed to be starting next week for a homeowner. It'll be a little different, because there are actually people living in the house, and they want the whole thing repainted. It's a family of three from what I could tell, but the mom works from home during the day and doesn't want her work interrupted...I can't bring a whole crew in there, and the hours would be Monday through Friday after school. Are you interested?"
"Sure." I shrugged, "But, will it just be me?"
"I'll be working with you every day." Jake replied, "But I might need you to stay an hour or so after I leave to clean things up when I have my shifts at the club. Is that okay with you?"
"Definitely." I nodded. I didn't mind working with the other guys, but I always did feel more comfortable when Jake was around. Working on a job with just him sounded good to me. "When do we start?"
"Not until next week, Monday. You can come here until then and by the end of your shift on Thursday I'll have the address and work order for you. You can plan on meeting me at the house, whenever you get out of school on Monday."
"No problem Jake."
"Great." He smiled.
I spent the rest of the day working alongside Jake, and he let me go an hour before my shift was scheduled to end. I didn't complain. By that time I was feeling eager to get home, wondering if Aiden was feeling any better than he had when I'd left him.
But, when I got home, the apartment was empty. I did find one note from Tony, but all it said was that he had some errands to run and he'd be back late. I knew that Chris usually stayed away from the club on Sundays, claiming it as his one day off, but I had no idea where he would be, probably on a date or something. As for Aiden, his one bag was still in my room but his camera was gone, so it was anyone's guess where he might be.
After I took my shower and changed into clean clothes, I began to wish I had stayed until the end of my shift at work. At least that way, I wouldn't feel so bored and alone in an empty apartment. But by the time I was back in the living room, about to flip on the TV, I noticed the light on the answering machine blinking.
The first message was for Chris, informing him that one of the coolers at the club was broken and the manager there couldn't find anyone to repair it on a Sunday. The second message was from Chris, complaining how he got suckered into going down to the club and he doubted he would be home at any decent hour. The third message started and I smiled at hearing Ryan's deep voice coming over the machine.
"I talked to Jake, Owen, I know you're home from work by now, so get your ass over here already!"
The message left me confused. Here where? When the next message beeped on I got my answer.
"Oops." Ryan laughed, "We're at the mall. Now, get your ass over here!"
I shook my head, but did just that.
At first, I wasn't sure where Ryan would be, but then I took my chances and went to the arcade where I found both him and Adam playing a game of foosball. I was a little disappointed that I didn't see Aiden with them, and I wondered where he was and if he was okay.
Ryan waved without leaving his game, but before I could reach him, someone looped their arm through mine, and when I looked down I saw Lacy Chapman smiling up at me. Her smile was contagious and I found myself grinning back at her.
"Hey."
"Hi, Owen. Buy me a coke?"
I laughed at her, but pointed her towards a table and when I joined her I had two sodas in hand.
"Thanks." She grinned, "You're such a gentleman."
"Just don't tell anyone." I smirked, "So, what are you doing here?"
"I came with Ryan." She shrugged, "But all he's done since we've been here is play that stupid game."
"Where's Heather?"
"Keeping her distance from Ryan." Lacy giggled. "After the dance last week I guess he took her out to some party, but he ended up talking to another girl the whole time. Heather would have been good for him too." Lacy shook her head; "Leave it to Ryan to mess up a good thing."
"As I recall, I never messed up our good thing." Ryan remarked, suddenly appearing behind Lacy. She had to put down her soda when he started to tickle her from behind, throwing her into a fit of giggles.
"Hi, Owen." Adam said, taking the seat next to me.
"Hey," I replied, "Where's Shane?"
"He's got a nasty cold or something." Adam frowned, "His mom hasn't let him out all weekend. Where have you been? I tried to call you on Friday."
I thought back to Friday night with Aiden at the drive-in and bit my tongue to keep a ridiculous smile off my face.
"I caught a movie with Aiden." I replied, as if it were no big deal, "Why'd you call on Friday?"
"Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out." Adam shrugged, "We never really do that sort of thing outside of school."
"We're here now." I pointed out.
"Yeah, but, unfortunately, Janie's my ride. She went shopping for something, and when she gets back I've gotta go."
"Dude, if you want to stay we can get you a ride home." Ryan told him.
"I can take you later." I offered.
"Really?" Adam grinned, "Cool, let me go call and clear it with my mom so Janie can't pitch a fit when I tell her."
Lacy became helpful when she pulled a pink cell phone out of her purse and passed it to Adam.
"Here sweetie, you can use mine."
Ryan and I rolled our eyes when Adam blushed at Lacy's sudden attention. He thanked her for the phone and then moved outside of the arcade where it was quieter so he could place his call. When Adam was gone, Ryan claimed the seat that Adam had vacated.
"You get my message?" he asked me.
"Both of them." I smirked. "So what's going on?"
"Thought we could all hang out." Ryan shrugged, "We were going to head to my house after this. Do you want to come?"
"Sure, for a while." I replied as Adam came back.
"All set." Adam smiled, "Thanks for the phone, Lacy. " He handed it back to her.
"No problem, sweetie." I think Lacy knew that she was making Adam blush every time she spoke to him, and I think she was enjoying it. Even I could admit that she was a pretty girl who had a way of causing the male gender around her to become a little tongue-tied, and it was amusing to watch.
I was pulled away from watching the blush creep over Adam's cheeks when another scene caught my eye, this one not so pleasant. I should have been happy to see Aiden, but I wasn't when he looked as upset as he did. His camera was swaying in front of his chest. He usually kept at least a protective hand on it, but now his fists were clenched at his sides as he walked towards the arcade.
A moment later I saw the reason for his distress when Janie came after him. She actually grabbed his arm in an attempt to slow him down, but when he whirled on her and shook her off, she stepped back angrily. She spoke in a hushed voice, but it was obviously an angry one.
The smile faded from my face and I stopped myself from going over there to interfere. But I wanted to. I didn't really care what was going on between the two of them, but Aiden was already going through enough without his so-called best friend upsetting him. The others at the table followed my gaze and I heard Adam mumble a few curses under his breath.
"Dude, what is your sisters problem?" Ryan asked.
"I don't know." Adam sighed, "but she's been pissed at Aiden for a few weeks now."
"I didn't notice anything wrong with them." Ryan said, and then looked at me as if I was supposed to put in my opinion. I just shrugged and watched as Aiden turned again, storming away from Janie as she followed angrily.
Aiden slowed when he saw us, and for a second when he first looked at me he seemed surprised to see me there, but then his expression softened and he continued towards the table.
When Janie saw us all watching, she seemed to realize that we had witnessed whatever had happened between them and she actually seemed embarrassed. She took a moment to compose herself and slow her step before she too, came towards the table. She brushed right by Aiden where he had stopped and looked pointedly at Adam while everyone else, including myself, avoided her disgruntled glare.
"Adam, let's go." She said.
"Um, you go ahead." Adam replied, "I'll get a ride home later."
"Adam, we're leaving now." her tone held no room for argument, but she got one anyways.
"I called mom, Janie, you go ahead and go if you want to. I'll be home later."
While this exchange was going on, Aiden walked around the table and pulled a loose chair between Ryan and me. I looked him over, trying to determine if he was all right and was awarded with a smile. When I looked up again, Janie was clearly annoyed with her brother, but it didn't look like she cared to cause a scene, as she briefly looked around the arcade.
"And how are you going to get home?" Janie demanded.
"Owen said he'd take me." Adam replied, which earned me a menacing glare from Janie.
"He's not a baby, Janie." This came from Lacy, and she said it none too nicely, "If you want to go, leave. Adam's hanging out with us." And with a wave of the hand, Lacy dismissed Janie.
Janie glared at Lacy, but Lacy glared right back, proving that despite her sweet manner and pretty face, she could be as much of a bitch as anyone. I had a feeling that I was going to continue to like Lacy more and more, especially when Janie turned on her heel and walked away without another word to any of us.
As soon as she was gone everyone seemed to look at Aiden, obviously wanting some sort of explanation, but all of his previous anger had faded and now he was just sitting there looking innocent.
"Hi guys." He smiled.
Obviously no one was buying his nonchalant attitude and everyone continued to stare. I'll be the first to admit that I was curious about what was going on between Aiden and Janie. I wanted to know why every time Janie was around; they seemed to be in the middle of some sort of lover's quarrel. Especially now, because technically, I was with Aiden.
But, the curious stares around the table were obviously making Aiden uncomfortable, and whatever protective instincts I had kicked in and I wanted to help him. Or, at least get him alone somewhere. The lost look on his face as his friends stared him down had me wanting to wrap him up in my arms and hide him away from the rest of the world.
"Is anyone hungry?" I asked, "I think I'm gonna go grab something."
"I could eat." Lacy grinned.
Adam and Ryan just shrugged, to busy waiting for an explanation from Aiden. I stood up and looked down at my...boyfriend? Yeah, boyfriend.
"You wanna come help me carry stuff, Aiden?" I asked, "If we're feeding Lacy, I'll need an extra pair of arms."
"Hey!" Lacy giggled, reaching over to swat my arm.
Aiden flashed me a small smile and then followed me away from the table and out of the arcade, towards the food court. Aiden was quiet, walking next to me, every few steps our shoulders brushing. But, as we passed the restrooms he suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me into the men's room.
I looked up at him, confused. Maybe he really had to go, or something. But, he looked around, under the stalls, around to the urinals. The bathroom looked empty as far as I could tell. When I realized what Aiden was doing I smiled and allowed him to pull me into one of the stalls.
But, once the door was closed, I was unprepared for the way he latched onto me. He pulled me right to his chest and hugged me tightly, closing his eyes and dropping his head to my shoulder. I had to brace myself so we didn't fall down, but once I had my bearings I hugged him back and turned my head to kiss his ear.
"You alright?" I asked.
Aiden sighed into my neck and then lifted his head, resting his cheek against mine, so that he was speaking into my ear.
"Yeah." He said in a small voice, "I'm just tired. After you left this morning, I missed you."
That revelation brought an instant smile to my face, but it faded as I remembered that I was worried about Aiden. Maybe he said he was fine, but he didn't seem okay to me. Something was off. He seemed different, and the way he was holding onto me felt almost...clingy. Not that I minded. But still, red flags were going off in my head.
I pulled back a little to look at him, leaning against the stall door. And my suspicions were confirmed. Aiden's eyes looked red, a little swollen and watery. It was not a happy face.
"What's wrong?" I asked gently.
"It's nothing." He forced a smile and took a deep breath, before turning away from me, as if he was ready to go again, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back.
"What happened with you and Janie?" I asked pointedly. I really hoped that I didn't sound jealous. But, even I could hear the edge in my voice.
"Nothing." Aiden mumbled.
"Something." I argued, "She's your best friend, Aiden. Why are you fighting with her?"
He released an exasperated sigh, shaking his head.
"Not here, Owen." He insisted, "I don't want to deal with it right now."
"Okay." I nodded, "But you'll tell me?"
Aiden studied me for a full minute before he leaned in and gently placed a kiss on my lips.
"Come on," he said, "I believe Lacy is waiting to be fed."
That wasn't the answer I was looking for, but I followed him anyways. I don't know why I was so interested in Aiden's problems with Janie. It wasn't like he wasn't allowed to have other friends now that we were sleeping together.
But Aiden being Janie's friend wasn't my problem and I knew it. It was the bad feeling I had had about her since the day I met her. And that bad feeling had only gotten worse. And I know that I wasn't imagining the dirty looks she shot me. Maybe I was taking the situation too personally. After all, it wasn't about me. It was about Aiden and Janie.
But still, I had a bad feeling. I wanted to know what was going on, whether it was my business or not. Maybe Aiden was brushing me off now, but in my opinion, the conversation was far from over.
We ended up back in the arcade with a tray full of tacos that lasted about two minutes before they were gone, and then Ryan suggested that we all go to his house.
"I think I'm gonna get home, guys." Aiden announced.
Okay. I wasn't expecting that. It was Aiden's last night staying over before his mom went to rehab and he went home. I was hoping to spend more time with him, but I had already agreed to go to Ryan's and then give Adam a ride home later.
"Are you sure?" Ryan asked him. "You should come over, Aiden, we're just going to hang out." then Ryan looked at me, "Owen, you're still coming, right?"
Of course I looked at Aiden, not really knowing what to say now. But, to my surprise he averted his eyes from me and grinned at Ryan.
"Have fun guys." He insisted, "I'll catch you later, okay. Hey Lacy, do you think you can give me a ride home?"
Lacy? Lacy? He was asking Lacy for a ride? When Aiden looked at me again I tried to ask the obvious questions with my eyes, but all he offered me was a small smile. Was he trying to avoid me?
"Sure." Lacy replied.
"Cool." Ryan grinned, throwing an arm around my shoulder, "Owen can take me and Adam. Meet us over at my place, Lace?"
Lacy responded by dropping a small peck on Ryan's cheek, and then I watched her walk away with my boyfriend. I wondered if it was okay to call him that. My boyfriend. It felt okay earlier. Now? Not so much.
Aiden was avoiding me. That was what he was doing, right? I thought so. But why? A half hour ago he was pulling me into a bathroom stall to tell me that he had missed me. Was he afraid that I'd bring up Janie again? Maybe that was it. He didn't want to talk about her.
But still, this feeling that Aiden was avoiding me did not sit well. On the drive over to Ryan's house, they were joking and laughing. I added my laughter to the mix too, if anything to make it looked like I was paying attention.
But I wasn't hearing anything that they said. I was too busy thinking about Aiden. I was about ready to excuse myself, just to go home and see him. But, when Adam started talking about how happy he was that we were actually hanging out together outside of school, I decided to push my more upsetting thoughts about Aiden away for the time being, so I could make good on my promise to be a better friend to Adam.
Angie Sader was home, and I have to admit, that after my last visit to Ryan's house, I was nervous about seeing her again. I didn't want to deal with more questions about my parents. But fortunately, after giving all three of us hugs and asking if we needed anything, she left us alone and Ryan led us all into his back yard, where there was another tire swing matching the one out front.
Adam ended up sitting on the tire and Ryan and I absently pushed him back and forth as we continued on with random conversations. It was basically just the three of us, throwing out random thoughts and commenting on them.
"Lacy's coming back, right?" Adam suddenly asked. The hopefulness in his question did not go unnoticed by Ryan and myself. We exchanged smiles and then Ryan turned to Adam.
"I dunno." Ryan said in a serious tone. "I think she's getting a little tired of the way you've been drooling over her."
Adam snapped his head around to better see Ryan, looking mortified.
"It's true." Ryan nodded. "She's not a side-order, you know. She's a person."
"I..." Adam started, right before Ryan and I started laughing. Adam crossed his arms and pouted. "Shut up you guys. I just think she's nice, that's all."
"Just nice?" Ryan remarked, "Yeah, right."
"It's true!" Adam argued, "And I wasn't drooling!"
"You did say she was hot." I innocently added.
"I meant pretty. And she is." Adam blushed.
"Pretty and hot aren't all that different. And you were drooling." Ryan laughed.
"If anyone here drools, it's you, Sader." Lacy smirked as she stepped out through the back door. I don't think it was possible for Adam to get any redder. I was wrong. He did when Lacy walked up to him and pinched his cheek, "Don't pay any attention to them, sweetie."
The look on Adam's face was all it took to get Ryan and I laughing again. We laughed a lot that night. Not only at Adam, either, the three of us just sat around having a good time. But, in the back of my mind, there was still Aiden.
As the sun started to set, my eagerness to get back to Aiden so we could talk just got worse. I knew that if for some reason, he was asleep when I got home, I wouldn't have the heart to wake him up. But we needed to talk. I needed to know exactly why he seemed to be avoiding me. I wasn't sure I'd sleep otherwise.
It was nine o'clock when I said goodbye to Ryan and Lacy and then went to drive Adam home. Adam was definitely in good spirits. Lacy had kissed him before we left. On the cheek, of course. I got one too. But, I didn't look like a lobster afterwards, not like Adam. I was getting used to Lacy and her teasing nature. That, and kisses from Lacy meant nothing to me, for obvious reasons.
"Do you think she's too old for me?" Adam asked as we drove towards his house.
"Lacy?" I laughed, "Probably. I doubt many guys can keep up with her anyways."
"You don't think I could?" Adam demanded, but he was smiling, and I couldn't help laughing at the challenging expression on his face.
"I just think you should practice by dating someone your own age first." I smirked.
Adam sat back in the passenger seat and regarded me with a mischievous expression.
"You're just saying that `cause you like her." He accused. "What's wrong, can't handle the competition?"
"Sorry Adam," I laughed, "Lacy and I are just friends."
"Right." He rolled his eyes.
"It's true. I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now." Or ever.
"Uh-huh." He still didn't believe me when we pulled up in front of his house, not that it mattered. "Shit!" Adam cursed.
I looked in his direction wondering what was wrong, but I didn't have to ask. Janie was on her way towards my truck, looking determined.
"What does she want?" I frowned.
"Don't ask me." Adam sighed, "She thinks she's my second mother sometimes. I gotta go, Owen, I'll catch you in school tomorrow?"
"Sure." I smiled. He clasped my hand and then opened the door to get out of the truck. But, Janie was already there by then, and I think Adam and I were equally surprised when Janie grabbed Adam's arm and yanked him out of the truck, right before she climbed in.
"Hey!" Adam shouted, as Janie slammed the door and locked it.
I think I was just stunned, looking between Janie and Adam, who was angrily shouting at his sister and tapping on the window. Janie paid no attention to Adam and turned her attention to me.
"Oh my god, Owen," she said almost breathlessly. If I weren't so freaked out I would have thought that her worked up appearance was amusing. "I have to talk to you. Aiden's in trouble and I don't know what to do."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying not to panic.
Why was Aiden in trouble? Did he go somewhere other than home after the mall?
"He's sick, Owen." She said with as much conviction as a preacher shouting out the gospel. "I tried to ignore it, but this is just getting way out of hand."
"Janie, what are you talking about?"
She took in a deep, dramatic breath, and then looked me in the eyes.
"Owen, Aiden thinks he's a homosexual."
Oh, I get it. Sneaky little bitch. I should have known that Janie knew about Aiden. He said everyone that mattered to him knew. That meant Janie too. Was she trying to out him to me? Scare me off? Janie must have mistaken my silence for confusion or idiocy because she began to elaborate further.
"You know," she practically whispered, "He's convinced he's a queer. A faggot. He likes penises, Owen!"
Didn't I know it. I fought not to smile to myself as I regarded Janie more seriously.
"He told you this, Janie?" I asked, feigning true concern.
"Well yes!" she huffed. "He told me a few years ago, but back then I thought it was just a phase. Now it's different Owen. He's really sick. I have to do something! Do you have any idea what queers are like?"
Did she?
"Why are you telling me this, Janie?" I asked. "If you care about him that much, you know that kind of rumor could really hurt him."
"Because I have to do something, right?" she sounded exasperated, "And I feel like I have to tell you, Owen. I know you guys are friends, but the thing is..."
"What, Janie?" I asked shortly, glancing back at Adam, who was still angrily tapping on the window.
"He likes you!" she blurted, "But not just as friends! It's...it's...unnatural! And I know you're not like that, Owen. You're normal. But, I thought I should warn you, ya know?"
Yeah. I knew. Suddenly things made sense. Aiden didn't want to tell me about Janie because I was the one they were fighting about. Maybe I would have thought this entire incident was amusing under different circumstances, but instead it pissed me off. And scared the hell out of me. Technically, Janie was trying to out Aiden. And if she was telling me now, how long would it be until she told someone else? Likely the wrong person.
"What are we going to do, Owen?" she whined. "We have to help him. I know him. He'll come to his senses, I know he will, but as long as you're around..."
"So you think I should get lost?" I asked casually, "Because Aiden...likes me?"
"Yes!" she said as if we had just begun to speak the same language. "Don't you get it Owen? If he thinks you hate him then he'll stop being queer!" She suddenly reached to grab my hand and instincts took over. I leaned back to avoid her, somehow thinking that if she touched me I'd be dirty. I inadvertently hit the door lock and Adam was able to open the door, just as Janie finished shouting, "Aiden thinks he's queer! But we can help him Owen! Just stay away, you don't want a fag obsessing over you anyways."
Silence.
I just sat there, staring at the desperate look on Janie's face, and then at Adam. Something about the way he stood there, stunned, staring into the car told me that he hadn't been one of the few people who knew that Aiden was gay.
"Aiden's a fag?" Adam demanded. I winced at his use of the word.
Janie spun around and glared at her brother.
"He just thinks he is!" she insisted, "Owen and I are going to help him!"
We were?
Adam looked disbelievingly at his sister, and then at me. There was something frightening in that look, and it hurt to see it on the face of someone who I considered a friend. Disgust.
When Adam turned and ran into his house I was still too stunned to call after him, but I collected my thoughts quickly, and angrily turned to Janie.
"Get out." I stated, suddenly gripping the steering wheel, needing to do something with my hands.
"But what are we going to do?" Janie demanded, "About Aiden?"
I wanted to tell her exactly what I planned to do about Aiden. What I planned to do to Aiden. If anything, it would shut her up. But, despite wanting to teach her a lesson, I was too afraid to out myself to her. I had to deal with this situation rationally, or Janie could very well turn Aiden's life into a living hell.
"You're going to get out." I told her. "And I'm going to go...think."
"Fine." Janie huffed, "But think about it Aiden, do you really want a fag around you?"
I bit my tongue again as she got out of the truck and slammed the door, and then I wasted no time driving away from her house. The drive home felt longer than it really was. My mind was racing, wondering what I was going to say to Aiden, what we were going to do about Janie and her big mouth.
And Adam. I had grown fond of Adam. I'd hate to lose his friendship if he found out about me. But maybe that wouldn't happen. Adam had seen Ben and Leo together. Maybe he wouldn't have a huge problem with it. Maybe he was just surprised to hear about Aiden.
Or maybe he just kept his true feelings about Ben and Leo to himself, just like Janie had about Aiden.
Damn. What was I doing? Panicking, that's what. It was wrong to jump to conclusions about Adam. For now, I'd have to assume that he was just shocked; otherwise my head would be threatening to explode.
I had to talk to Aiden. That seemed important now, nothing else. I think I was just scared. I was afraid of what would happen if he ended up outed at school. I was afraid of what would happen to him, what he would go through. And yes, I was afraid of what it would mean for me.
I knew Aiden and I had discussed this exact scenario. But Christ, that was only two days ago. And, while I wanted to stand by him no matter what, I was still terrified about what would happen if I did.
When I got home I was surprised to find that no one was there again. At least, Tony and Chris weren't. But, Tony was back to leaving me notes. This one said that Chris was at the club, which didn't surprise me, but Tony also admitted that he would be spending the night at Jake's. Maybe I would have been happier for him if I didn't feel like such an emotional wreck.
I suddenly felt like I wanted to talk to my brothers. Both of them. Either one of them. It didn't matter. Janie had given me a scare, and I was sure that Chris or Tony might have some brotherly advice to give me on the matter.
But it was just me now. And Aiden. I had to talk to him, but when I went into my room and found that he was asleep I still didn't have the heart to wake him. I wondered if bringing Janie up now, after all he had gone through with his mother was the best idea in the world.
But I had to. If Aiden was about to come out, he at least had a right to know about it. And I had a feeling that he was about to come out in the worst way. I didn't trust Janie. It would only be a matter of time before she realized that she hadn't scared me away from Aiden, and who knows what she would do next.
God, she was so much like Anna. Anna thought that I was sick. She thought that she could help me by telling my father just how sick I was. The thought made me angry. Anna made me angry. Janie made me angry. The thought of Aiden being hurt over something so stupid, over ignorant people, made me angry.
And sad.
I was incredibly sad as I shed my jacket in the dark bedroom and sat at the edge of my bed, letting my hand move absently to Aiden's head, my fingers running through his hair. I remembered what had happened with my father, the way he hurt me. I don't know if I could stand it, if something like that happened to Aiden.
It scared me.
I thought of Dennis Gordon and all of the people at school who would love an excuse to hurt someone. People like them take anything different from what they are and twist it into something terrible. People like that could hurt Aiden. I couldn't stand the thought.
There was only one thing to do.
I wouldn't let them. I wouldn't let anyone hurt him. I had never felt anything for anyone like what I felt for Aiden. I hadn't thought of the word for it yet, but whatever it was, it was strong. I would protect him. I had to. Overzealous maybe, but the determination in my own thoughts made me feel better.
My fingers were still moving through Aiden's hair when his hand moved over mine and wrapped around it. I glanced down, unable to see his face in the dim light, but I knew that his eyes were open. I was able to see them when Aiden reached over and tapped the light on my nightstand, and the room lit up.
He seemed more groggy than actually tired, and because it was hardly ten o'clock I figured he must not have been asleep that long. He gave me a sleepy smile, a nice change from his earlier avoidance.
"When did you get back?" he asked.
"A few minutes ago." I shrugged. "How long have you been asleep?"
"Not long." He shrugged, sitting up and stretching out his bare chest. "Tony was here a while ago, but Jake had a night off from the club and they went out together."
"Tony left a note." I shrugged.
Aiden studied me for a moment, obviously seeing that something wasn't right, but he smiled anyways and pulled me towards him. I closed my eyes but only let my lips brush his before I pulled back. If I started kissing him now, I wasn't sure when we'd ever get around to talking. The sly look on his face didn't exactly help my concentration when he tugged on my shirt.
"You're wearing too many clothes." he smirked.
I couldn't help but smile, but I forced it away and closed my hand over his, pulling it away from my shirt.
"I need to talk to you." I stated.
Aiden's smile faded and he gave me an uncertain nod.
"Earlier, in the mall..." I started.
Aiden sighed and sat up, pulling the sheet up over his hips after it fell and revealed his half hard cock. Damn. Naked. He had probably expected me to come home and take advantage of him.
Concentrate Owen.
"Look, I'm sorry about earlier." Aiden insisted, "I was just tired and I didn't want to go to Ryan's. And, I didn't want you not to go because of me."
"That's not it." I replied, "But, you still could have asked me to drive you home, you know. I was talking about Janie."
Aiden's face fell and he began to shake his head.
"I don't know why you care what's going on with her, Owen..."
"I know why you guys are fighting." I interrupted. Aiden frowned, obviously annoyed, but I continued anyways, "I didn't ask her, Aiden. She confronted me when I took Adam home."
"What do you mean, she confronted you?" he asked carefully.
"Let's just say that she mentioned that you were a queer who got hard for me."
Aiden dropped his head into his hands and mumbled a chain of curses. When he looked up again he appeared more than a little irritated.
"Damn it! I didn't think she'd do something like this. I'm sorry Owen, I didn't want her to drag you into this."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Aiden fell back against the pillows and shook his head, looking up at the ceiling.
"Janie's been my best friend for years, Aiden. She was one of the first people I came out to."
"How did she take it?" I asked.
"She brushed it off." He shrugged. "I was so happy that she didn't think it was such a big deal. But, then, every time I mentioned a guy to her, she'd get kind of annoyed. I just figured that she was okay with it as long as she didn't have to hear about it, you know? But then you came along." He blushed a little and I couldn't help returning the smile he was flashing me. "I couldn't stop talking about you. I don't think I'd ever been so interested in someone right away before. But Janie saw that..."
"And she likes you." I frowned.
"Yeah." He sighed. "I didn't believe you, when you told me that before. But then, she started talking about love, and how we belong together. She thought being gay was some sort of phase or something. That's what we've been fighting about, Owen. And now..."
"She outed you tonight, Aiden. I know she's your friend, but..."
"I know." he sighed, "But at least she outed me to you, right? I mean, what are you gonna do?" he smirked.
This time I couldn't return his smile.
"There's more." I admitted, "Adam heard."
Aiden's smile faded and he briefly closed his eyes before sitting up.
"How'd he take it?" Aiden asked.
"Hard to tell." I replied. "Adam really didn't know before? I mean, you said everyone you care about knows. I thought that Adam..."
"I would have told him." Aiden insisted, "But Janie insisted that he wasn't ready for it. Shit. Maybe she was at least right about something."
I placed my hand on Aiden's back and rubbed slow circles, knowing that he must be feeling awful at the moment. I wanted to take it all away. But, when Aiden looked up he had a determined look on his face.
"It'll be okay." I don't know if he was talking to himself or to me. "I'll talk to Adam. He's been cool knowing that Leo and Ben are a couple. Maybe he just needs time to accept me too."
I nodded, although I wasn't sure if I could feel as confident as Aiden did about the situation.
"What about Janie?" I asked cautiously. "She outed you tonight Aiden. She wanted to scare me away. What if she decides to tell someone else?"
Aiden stared at me for a long moment, but then, as if nothing was wrong at all, the corners of his mouth curled up and hinted at a small smile.
"Hey," he said, "Come to bed, okay?"
I only hesitated for a minute before I peeled off my clothes. I would have left on my boxers, if Aiden hadn't reached out and tugged them down. I smiled at him and let him pull me into bed where we curled up with each other and he kissed me quickly, but slowly. I tiredly sighed as we pulled back and rested our foreheads together, and I could feel Aiden's fingers lightly tapping my back. I felt safe there, with him. I wondered how safe I would feel tomorrow, knowing that Janie was out there, with her big mouth.
"Don't be worried, Owen." Aiden whispered, "I'm not."
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