THE LIFE WHEEL by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on October 1, 1991 translated by the author English text kindly revised by The Australian
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"THE LIFE WHEEL" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 11 - Matteo 8 and Marco 8
Matteo
Our vacation on the cabin cruiser was really successful. On board was Marco and myself, Gino and Lorenzo, Arne and Kaj, Leo and Tony, Marco and Silvio and also a couple of Silvio's friend. They were Daniele at 24 and Dino at 27. These two, together with Silvio and Gino were the only ones who knew anything about navigation, especially Dino who had worked in the Merchant Navy. The rest of us cared about the remaining on board duties like cooking, cleaning, doing the shopping and the less onerous tasks. We all got along very well. The atmosphere on board was good-natured and really friendly.
When we were sailing, we were always in our swimming trunks and at times we sunbathed totally nude. It was a pleasure and a feast for our eyes to see all those half-naked or naked bodies wandering around. This fact didn't cause any sexual promiscuity or friction on board. We all were in well established and steady relationships. I'm not saying that a few adventures on board didn't happen, but from what I know they have been exceptions and anyway, nobody displayed them in front of the others.
On the upper deck we created what we called "the nest". It was a reserved zone where a couple could withdraw when they desired some privacy for those intimate moments of making love under the sun or the stars. When the small chain was stretched across the access ladder, nobody went up there. At the top of the decking there was a wide and soft mat, about three meters by two, and hanging off the taffrail was a heavy cloth, so that from below, nothing could be seen. As there were six couples on board, the nest was in use several times a day.
We left Savona port and sailed coasting southward until we reached Amalfi, then we sailed back and we choose different landfalls.
We shot lot of pictures and Arne took several videos, which we watched at night in the room located under the bridge.
Tony and Arne became good friends, so Arne invited him and Leo to their weddings that was to be celebrated at the end of '89. As they probably won't have enough money to pay for the flight to Denmark, Arne and Kaj, Matteo and me will help them. Also for our cruise, we asked them to contribute only for the food expenses and we shared the cruiser's fare between five couples instead of six.
Once, when the chain was down, Marco and I climbed the ladder to go to the nest. All of a sudden Marco, who was ahead of me, stopped.
"Oh... sorry, the chain was down..." he said.
I at once heard Arne's voice, "I must have put it wrongly and it's fallen down, but come, there is room here for you two as well. We are not ashamed of doing it in front of you, there is nothing wrong, is there?"
Marco looked towards me and we were about going back when the deep voice of Kaj said, in English, "It's not a proposal to do a foursome. We two between us, and you two between you. Would you feel ashamed?"
So Marco looked at me and gave a nod, indicating that we should go up. I was feeling really embarrassed but followed him. Arne was sitting on Kaj's lap, impaling himself, slowly springing up and down and they both smiled at us.
Kaj added, "There is plenty of room, we won't touch. Come here, friends."
I was starting to get aroused and saw that Marco already was, so I sat on the mat and pulled him down with me. We started to caress each other and took off our bathing briefs. At first we were slightly embarrassed in their presence but as we were becoming more excited, we gradually lost all awareness of their presence. We felt excited looking at them and being looked at. We weren't openly looking to each other, or even stealing glances at each other. We were just engrossed in looking at our partner. To each couple, the other couple was simply in the corner of our eye.
It was good looking them making love and we weren't upset being seen by friendly eyes. This could be because, both us and them, we were really making love and not just sex. Anyway it has been an odd but beautiful experience. I don't think that Kaj and Arne left the chain down on purpose, because it never happened before of after. On that occasion, I realized that two lovers making love is a really special sight, really beautiful, and not at all pornographic. It has both an incredible gentleness and force about it at the same time.
I thought that because Arne and Kaj seemed perfectly at ease and enjoying themselves, we should do the same. It was not on purpose, but all four of us reached climax at the same time. We lay down, panting, trying to recover our breath and to relax.
Kaj, with his beautiful, deep voice, said, "Thank you for sharing your beauty and your love with us. It has been a precious gift. We wouldn't have asked it of the others, but with you it just came naturally. I will never forget this wonderful event."
I said, "We won't forget it either. I anyway don't think I would ever be able to repeat this experience."
Then Kaj said, "That's true. If we repeated it, we would spoil everything, I agree. It just happened, this time, and it has been great. Doing it again would become voyeurism. Arne and I are a really free couple, and yet we prefer to keep our privacy in these moments. However, I would like to adding a little zest and asking you a question? While you were making love, you become really beautiful, almost transfigured. Did we seem the same to you?"
Marco answered, "Yes, you too radiated light..."
"To radiate light..." Arne echoed, " ... a wonderful expression filled with poetry, so full of truth."
We dressed in our swimming trunks and went down. There was now a special feeling of intimacy between the four of us because we shared something really beautiful and important.
When the vacations ended, we went back home and resumed our usual activities. Marco had to pass just three more tests before discussing the graduation thesis. His teacher accepted the subject proposed by Marco - "Evolution of the masculine image as depicted in the literary prose, between the eighteenth century and the sixties". It is a big work but Marco and I started to work on it with enthusiasm. We divided the texts that had to be read. We had found a great number of appropriate quotations that we then read and analysed together. Marco has to give his thesis draft to his teacher by the following May and in July he would discuss it and get his university degree. He passed his tests with an average of 30/30 and nine honours.
At the beginning of this year I had Marco apply as a temporary teacher, so he could soon start teaching. I believe he will be a very good teacher, even though he tends to undervalue himself.
We met all of our friends on several occasions. Dino and Daniele were still busy doing fashion parades and photographic sessions, but they are planning to start a business on their own before their star starts to wane. They came to discuss their ideas with us. Daniele would like to open a bookshop, but Dino was inclined to open a pub. We discussed all the pros and cons with them for many hours. I felt they are leaning towards the idea of a bookshop, as it would let them have more free time. Luckily, a decision didn't have to be made immediately as they were still in demand in the fashion field.
We finally got Stefano's news from Leo. When he graduated from the high school, after the umpteenth quarrel with his parents and the usual taste of his father belt, he finally left home. Thanks to an ad on the gay magazine Babylonia he got work as waiter on the yacht of a Milanese industrialist. He worked there for seven months until one of the guests of his boss, a German industrialist, fell in love with him and took him to Germany, officially hiring him as his private secretary but really as his lover.
Judging from the picture that Leo showed us, the German seems a refined and elegant man in his fifties. In the pictures Stefano shows a really serene expression and seems to be in good shape. But from his letter is difficult to understand if he is in love with that man or not. He just says he gets along with him well and that he is happy.
Leo gave us his address so we wrote him a letter, but we haven't yet got an answer. It seems that they travel very much all around the world. It's possible that he hasn't received the letter yet. Stefano still doesn't know that Marco and I are together, so I can only imagine his surprise when he reads about it.
The Arci-gay group in my school now has ten members. Leo is very proud for that. None of them are my students. It seems that Madam the Dean is now resigned to it. I never heard her making sarcastic remarks again. The new leader of the group is a boy in the second year. He is the son of a Deputy and his father is aware of his son's choices. I wouldn't be too malicious, but this is possibly the reason why Madam the Dean changed her attitude.
This year also I went on the school trip with my second year students. We went to Rome. As usual, it has been a tiring experience but was really worthwhile.
Mario confided his worries to me. It seems that for some months things between him and Silvio are not progressing well. Silvio started looking for adventures and quickies. Nothing serious, it seems, but Mario was worried and jealous. We advised him to talk about it with Silvio in a straightforward manner, to try to understand to what degree the situation had deteriorated and try to determine the reason of this change after eleven years of living together. I hope they can find a way to solve this problem. I always feel sad when I know that a couple is in crisis. It is so beautiful to love, to be together.
A few days ago I was going through our photo album with Marco from our oldest pictures to the most recent ones. I discovered that, physically, I like him way more now that he is twenty-four than when he was just nineteen or twenty. He is now more mature, more manly. His body is more mature. Living together day after day I didn't notice the change. When I told him, he beamed a radiant smile and embraced me.
He then said, "You, on the contrary, are always the same, always splendid. Your body has always had a gentle virility that fascinates me. The more I look at it and get to know it, the more I know how and where to touch it to make it vibrate, the more I'm fascinated by it."
"Lorenzo, Kaj, Tony and Daniele are way more beautiful than me."
"I've never noticed that. Yes, of course I see they are beautiful, but their beauty to me is something alien, while yours is... mine. I don't know if I got to make me clear. I mean that they are beautiful and... and that's all. You on the contrary are beautiful... to my advantage. Your beauty shines each time I look at you, every time I touch you."
"You are right. I also feel more beautiful when you look at me, touch me, love me. When I look at myself in you splendid green eyes."
It seems that Marco is rebuilding some kind of relation with his father and mother. They call each other from time to time. They send each other greeting cards. At times it is me who answers their phone calls and his father says, "Good evening Matteo, how are you? Is Marco at home, please?" or something similar, always in a kind way. They never met again, because Marco says there is no sense in leaving me alone at home to go and see his parents. He says that either we both go to meet them or not at all. I told him that it is not so important, that I would be glad if he manages to settle things with them, but he is insistent upon his decision.
Recently he silenced me by saying, "Is it true or not, that you and I are one? If we are one what sense could there be in my parents meet only half of me? After all they always accepted just half of me, the part that was convenient to them. They cannot start the ostrich rechnique with me again - as long as you don't hint about your being gay, you are our beloved son. No! I'm sorry, Matteo, but it is as I say."
I didn't insist. After all I am aware that he is right and I know that he is suffering because of this situation as well.
Without telling Marco I went to see a notary. I kept this visit from him because I know he would be upset with me if I did him such speeches. I went to check, in the event of my death, who would inherit my belongings, apartment, car, money etc. As my nearest relative is a second cousin, I discovered he has no right of claim. Because of that, I can designate Marco as my sole beneficiary. I prepared my will in his favour and designed as executors, Tony and Leo. I also assigned him in my life insurance.
I don't know why, but I'm feeling a lot more serene. One can never know what life will hold for us and I wouldn't like leaving Marco without the possibility of having a good life even without me. If I had died without making the will, Marco would have been forced to either go back to his parents or to stop his studies. I don't want something like that to happen to him. Even though he doesn't want to hear about that possibility, none of us is immortal.
When I explained to Leo what I had done and given him the Notary address, he told me I had been right. Tony listened to me in silence. He possibly thinks like Marco, but didn't criticize me.
Leo told me that he has been named as the Arci-gay coordinator for the schools groups. He met the boys in our high school who were to carry on what he started. He is justifiably proud of what he has achieved and is doing. I told him that he should be careful not to slow down his university studies, but he said that he would possibly need one more year before graduating, but that it's worth spending his time on this activity. Tony backs him and supports him. It is a pleasure seeing how these two boys always agree, even though none of them suffers the other's choices. They are maturing together.
Marco
Wow, what a full year! This school year is near its end. I think I will remember it for a long time.
First of all last year's vacations - fabulous! As we planned, we rented a cabin cruiser and sailed all long the Tyrrhenian sea. A wonderful journey. On board were six couples because at the last minute Daniele and Dino, (two friends of Silvio), both expert about sailing, joined us.
I had the impression that at times Silvio screwed with one of them, but as it is just a guess, I didn't even tell to Matteo, because he would tell me immediately that I am too malicious, but at times Silvio was disappearing with one of them in their cabin and they were spending too much time in there, in my opinion.
Anyway life on board was agreeable and the company was exceptional. We were always going around half naked, and that was agreeable and at times slightly exciting.
On the top part of the cruiser there was a kind of small terrace. It was about three by two metres wide. Before starting the journey, we had prepared it as the place for fucking in the open air. We called it "the nest". Up there, each couple could withdraw to make love without giving a show to the others who, from downstairs could see nothing. We had put a thin chain at the foot of the ladder. When it was hooked horizontally, it meant that the nest was in use, so nobody else went up there.
Matteo and I used the nest several times, during the day and night. It was good making love up there in the open air, hearing the voices of our friends down below. We also installed a soft mat covering all the floor so that we could make love without being uncomfortable.
Accidentally, it happened that once we made love there, four of us, but it wasn't an orgy, just two and two. I mean...
That morning I had asked Matteo if he felt like going to the nest. He accepted immediately. Luckily the chain was hanging down so we didn't have to wait for it to be free and started to climb the ladder with Matteo behind me, but as my head reached the floor level, I saw Kaj sitting, his arms extended behind him, with Arne, who was sitting on his lap going up and down with abandonment. I stopped and an exclamation escaped my lips. They saw me and, without stopping, smiled at me. I apologised and was about going away when Arne invited us to join them as they weren't ashamed of us being there and that there was room also for us as well. Kaj added they were not proposing an orgy, but that there was enough room for us too and that we had not to be ashamed doing it in front of true friends. I went up and soon got a strong hard-on. I looked a little hesitantly at Matteo but he sat down and pulled me to him.
We started to touch each other, took off our trunks and we were both aroused and the presence of our friends added more to our usual excitement. It was beautiful seeing how Kaj and Arne were making love, serenely and quietly. It was good seeing their bodies shining under the sun, how they were searching, touching unceasingly and joyfully uniting. I don't mean that I was looking at them all the time. I was looking only at Matteo, but while moving and changing our positions it happened that I saw my two friends nearby, and even though our bodies were not touching, we were very close.
Kaj has a really manly body, strong and virile and yet, as Arne had already confided me, and as I could now clearly see, he made love with an indescribable gentleness that wasn't belying his virility. Arne was uniting with him with abandoned vigour. It was a real pleasure just looking at them, an almost aesthetic pleasure, I would say, seeing how these two friends were desiring each other and uniting. When I was aware they were looking at us I didn't feel bothered at all but on the contrary I was quite pleased having them as witnesses to the beauty of our love and the intensity of our passion.
I remember that at one point I thought that in the past my Matteo and Arne had made love, but this didn't bother me at all. Matteo seemed to be enjoying that unforeseen situation as much as I was enjoying it and there no more trace of out initial embarrassment. We were not exhibitionist, neither us, nor them. We just felt that there was no reason for shame, embarrass, of reserve.
Then, all of a sudden, almost as at a sign, all four of us came at the same moment with a strong, intense, long orgasm. We then let ourselves go on the mat, sated, and relaxed. Kaj thanked us for having accepted to share such a beautiful and precious moment with them. I said it was me who had to thank them, and that not only I was really happy it happened, but that I thought it was better not to do it again. Kaj said they would never have dared ask us but, as we were there and saw them, he felt it right, even just once, to go on, together. Then he said that Matteo and I become "transfigured" while we make love, and I was pleased to hear this. It was enough to share the occasion once only while we made love near them. I then reflected about how I saw them while they were making love, and told them that it was like as if light radiated from them - yes, this was really what I felt.
Afterwards, when my eyes meet Kaj or Arne's eyes, I could read in theirs a kind of agreeable complicity towards us. Having shared that moment of intimacy had certainly been more beautiful and valid than if we had also shared our bodies with them. I thought I would possibly have liked if it happened with Leo and Tony, but then I thought that doing it on purpose wouldn't be as good, so I never proposed it to them. It had been something good, not morbid, dirty and nor just an erotic game, only because it wasn't premeditated.
Back home I restarted studying for my last examinations and for the thesis. It has been really great preparing my thesis with Matteo, because the result was the double of the work I could have done by myself. Writing it with him allowed me to do something beautiful.
In February Leo received a long letter from Stefano, so we too finally have his news. In March we sent a letter to Stefano telling him about Matteo and me, but his answer didn't came until the end of July. He was (agreeably) surprised hearing that Matteo and I were together and he sent us his best wishes. He said he hoped we can meet again. He is now living with Kurt, a German industrialist that is fifty-two. He said he is not really in love with the man but he feels really good with him as Kurt treats him really well. The travel a lot (they were just back from Japan) and officially Stefano is Kurt's secretary.
But he also wrote that Kurt has a twenty-five years old son, Karl, who for all he knows could be bisexual and who at the moment has a girl-friend. He said that he never had anything sexual with him even though they have become rather intimate. Anyway he doesn't want to do the wrong thing to Kurt who is always so kind and affectionate to him... I a word, he is in a big mess.
Just before we got Stefano's letter, two interesting things happened.
One is that I got the university graduation. I can now start looking for a job. I would like to teaching a lot, but it's not said and done that easily. I would like also to become a writer, but that wouldn't give me money fast enough. I got full marks with honours. My thesis will be print in book form at the University's expenses. Matteo threw a party inviting all our friends. I felt more moved at the party than at the graduation ceremony. The same day I graduated, I put a note on Matteo's pillow, in which I wrote:
"Do you remember that I dedicated my high school graduation to you? I now dedicate also this graduation to you. In fact it is always you who get the best out of me. Without you I would possibly be nothing more than one of the many grey clerks. I know that history is not made with 'if's'. I am more and more in love with you. I hope that my love will always be scored with full marks and honours and nothing less than that."
The second thing that happened is that it seems that my relationship with Dad and Mum is slowly improving. Very slowly. After I left their home I never met them again, but Matteo insisted I invited them to my graduation ceremony. They came to the University. They were both wearing their 'Sunday Best', and they were more moved than me. What gave me the greatest pleasure was that after the ceremony, having embraced me and given me their congratulations, they drew Matteo close and my father gave him his hand.
He said, "I know that the success of my son is to your credit Matteo. We are simple people, perhaps a little narrow-minded and old fashioned, but we know we have to be grateful to you for the care you have for Marco. We know that he is in good hands. Please accept our heart-felt thanks."
Bang!
I really didn't expect Dad to be capable of such a gesture. I know he was sincere, as Dad has always been extremely sincere. Of course it gave me huge pleasure. This has probably been the best graduation present I got. Matteo was agreeably consumed.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 12
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