The Life and Times of Justin

"The Life & Times of Justin" is based on a true story. Some of the characters names and places have been changed to protect the innocent. Please email me with your comments. All emails will be answered, - jbalancier9@yahoo.com

Disclaimer

This story deals in part with adult sexual language and physical experiences. It contains some four-letter words, a mixed theme of Homosexual conduct based on lust and emotion. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is merely coincidental. The story is not intended to offend anybody, so if the subject is troubling to you or you are under legal age -

Please stop and do not read.

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It's not easy being green. It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things and people tend to pass you over 'cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water or stars in the sky. I am green and it'll do fine and I think that's what I want to be."

These are the words of Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street. And just like Kermit, I don't mind being green. Green is not like everything else - It's different. I'm different- maybe I really am green.

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"THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUSTIN"

By Justin M Balancier

Chapter 1

The Meeting

"Watch it Bobby that car almost hit the curb." Bobby stepped back on to the sidewalk.

"Whoo!! - Where did he learn to drive? -He probably got his license along with a value meal. You gotta watch out for everything coming at you I guess."

The car spun around the corner and pulled into a parking place in front of Tony's luncheonette. Bobby and I stopped in at Tony's almost daily after school for a coke and sometimes a hot dog. Today was no different except for almost getting whacked by the car.

Robert who preferred to be called Bobby was my high school best friend.

Neither of us was very popular outside of class. We hated gym class and didn't play sports. I threw a ball like a girl and dropped it most of the time. Bobby played in the school band, loved to dance and worked on the yearbook staff. I joined the little theatre group and spent time in French Club and the library. You can see where this is going. Yes, we were two sixteen-year-old "coming out" gay boys who hung out together. There was nothing romantic or sexual going on mind you - we were just friends.

Two men got out of the car and walked toward us. They were not bad looking guys probably somewhere around thirty.

"Get a load of who's coming this way?" I said to Bobby. "They look way too cute to be bullies unless you're going to 'mouth off" to them."

"Justin - Not me - I don't even know them; they look kinda old." Said Bobby. "Do you know who they are?"

"Nope - I never saw them before."

We were going through the door into Tony's as they passed by.

"Hi neighbor" said the taller good-looking one to me. The other dude was smiling but said nothing. Bobby and I went inside and sat at a table near the window. We watched them as they went down the street and disappeared near the newsstand.

"What's this neighbor stuff? - Bobby asked - I thought you never saw them before."

I know the neighbors on both sides of my house and it's not him. I never saw him before. - I said

"Yeah okay, I heard you." Said Bobby - "That's twice you told me that. Humm, I still wonder how he knows you!! - Maybe they're trying to pick us up and drive us crazy with mad passionate love..

Bobby, you're nuts - drink the soda, I can't hang around here all day. I have a shit load of homework to do.

"Me too" - Let's get out of here..

We walked to the next intersection and waiting there for the light to change were the same two guys still walking around.

"Hi there, we meet again neighbor". This time they both spoke. "Want a lift up the hill?"

"No thanks, we're not going that way" - I said and we went into the hardware store in back of us. When we came out the car was gone.

Bobby said, "What was all that 'bout?" -

Damn if I know" - I replied. "I wonder where he lives?"

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Chapter 2

The Neighbor

Bobby lived a couple of blocks from the High School. Sometimes in the morning I would stop by and walk to school with him. After school it was common to drop our books off at his house so we didn't have to lug them downtown. Today was no different. We walked to Bobby's house where I retrieved my books and headed home.

His words - "hi neighbor" kept running through my thoughts and I wondered who could he be. I kept a lookout for the green Buick he was driving but didn't see it anywhere. The car had Mass plates and was easy to spot - I figured. I must have looked in every driveway for blocks before reaching my street. I saw nothing and I arrived home in time to study about an hour before dinner. The phone rang. It was Bobby.

"Well Sherlock - did you find the green Buick from Mass?"

"Oh, that guy, - No - I forgot about it." I said.

"Justin - you're such a liar. - You probably checked every driveway."

"No. I told you that I didn't look for it???? okay, I looked? but the car wasn't around anyplace. He's not my neighbor."

A week or so went by and we didn't speak about the green Buick. It seemed to be forgotten until the morning I was walking to school and past by a house with someone washing a car in the driveway. It was no one that I recognized. As I got closer he said, "Good morning neighbor" OMG it was the Buick guy.

I said, "hi there" and kept on walking. I got to Bobby's house just as he was coming out the door.

"Wait 'till you hear who I just saw washing a car. - You will never guess - go on and guess - take a guess - c'mon" -

"Humm let's see - was it Tony from the luncheonette or maybe the stud from Mass. - If it was a Buick, a big friggin green Buick - BINGO, Then I get the brass ring."

"You got it man - I know where he lives."

We giggled like two little schoolgirls and went off to homeroom. I thought about him all day and when school let out I went straight home so I could pass by his house again. No one was around.

The next day I walked by the house and he was near the sidewalk trimming shrubs. This time, I stopped and said hello.

"Doing a good job there - looks nice." I told him.

"Ya, I try to be helpful. My mother lives by herself since my dad passed away and she always needs help around here." He said.

"Then you don't live here" - I asked.

"Well I do BUT I don't. I teach at a private school in Pittsfield Mass and come home when I have days off and weekends. - You go to the High School on Perry Drive, don't you?"

"Yep, I do. I'm a senior and I graduate next June. I'll be seventeen."

"You're a friendly kid for sixteen - some kids aren't you know?almost seventeen -hmm and cute too." He said to me.

I blushed like crazy hoping he wouldn't notice. His mother came out of the house and said hello to me.

"Are you looking for any help around your house - I asked her. I have some time after school and weekends."

He turned his head towards me and whispered -" What's your name kid?" I said Justin.

"Mom - "This is Justin, he's a good kid and he lives down the street."

She said," Jerry takes the boys telephone number and I'll call him and see what time he has available."- "Would that be okay with you Justin?"

"Sure"

I jotted down my phone number and said quietly to him so his mother couldn't hear as she went back into the house. - "Nice to meet you Jerry" -

He smiled and told me it was a strange way to meet somebody but at least we got to talk to each other. Jerry was handsome in a polished sort of way. He was not prissy or gay acting but not rugged and barbaric either. He was just right???.Gay? - I wasn't quite sure yet. Actually I wasn't sure about myself either. All I know is when I looked at him my dick began to swell in my pants. That meant something was attracting me. How could I be so green as not to be sure!

The first time I went to work for Jerry's mom, she told me to call her Linda. We got along swell. Linda was a sweet lady and mothered me just like she did some of the guys that came to the house. Jerry had four or five pals who stopped by often. They were older friends who would come by for lunch or a dip in the pool. Little did I know they were "chicken hawks" on the prowl and I was being checked out? - The summer soon passed.

It was a couple of days before Christmas and I was on my way to the ice rink to go skating. Bobby met me half way down the block and we walked by Jerry's house. There were four guys ringing the doorbell holding Christmas gifts wrapped in bright paper with big sissy looking ribbons. They were laughing and humming something about getting laid under the Christmas tree. The house was beautifully decorated and music was playing. Linda opened the door with a drink in her hand.

"Looks like the Sugar Plum fairies have arrived and delivering presents from Santa," Bobby said to me as we passed by.

"Yeah - beware of old faggots bearing gifts" - I answered. We giggled and went on to the skating rink.

Summer returned and now I was seventeen. Jerry was home and hanging around the house. He would wear shorts or bathing trunks whenever I was there. Linda asked me if I would help Jerry wash living room walls and I said, sure. Jerry was on the ladder and turned to face me. The bulge in his shorts was about even with my face.

"Hand me the bucket of water, will you Justin"

"Sure thing Jerry, anything else I can do for you" - "OMG - why did I blurt that out?" - I thought to myself.

Jerry gave me a sexy smile and said - "Later"

I was aching for this guy. He was about 14 years older than me and the thought of having sex with a thirty-one year old dude was sending me ballistic. Now how could I get him to do it? - I had to think of something?

Little did I know that was his intention all along and I was being groomed for the right moment. So really all I had to do is wait.

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Chapter 3

The Phone Call

High School was over and I was thinking about college. I had earned enough money that summer for books and I felt good about that. I wanted to study agriculture landscape design or something like that. The phone rang.

"Yes, Jerry - Justin is here?. hold on." It's for you my mom told me.

"Justin can you come over right now? Linda is out for the day and I would really like to see you?" Said Jerry.

My heart skipped a beat and I said, "Sure give me about twenty minutes - ahh, make that thirty minutes" - Jerry said -" Good"

I showered in about five minutes, brushed my teeth and threw on clean clothes. I didn't know what Jerry was planning but I wanted to look my best. Mom didn't know about the shower. I told her that Linda wanted her lawn cut and I'd be back later. I left the house and ran most of the way.

Jerry was standing in the doorway when I arrive. He had on a tee shirt and shorts. His hair was messed up a bit and he looked good to me.

"C'mon on in buddy" - Jerry said and closed the door behind me. Like a space capsule taking off from a rocket site - he held my face with both hands and kissed me. He stuck his tongue in my mouth and kissed and kissed. He went to the side of my face and licked my cheek and neck. It was so wild that I was trembling. Wow, I loved it but I was nervous.

"You're so nice - you're so nice" he kept saying over and over as he continued to kiss me.

He took my hand and led me to the bedroom. We stood beside the bed and he ran his hands over my chest, under my shirt and down the front of my pants. I was getting hard. "Oh buddy, you are so nice" he said again.

"You're getting excited Jerry said to me - How about squirting off for me?"

"How do you want me to do that" - I asked.

"This way - Jerry answered - He pulled my cock out of my shorts and sucked it into his mouth." I was so excited that it didn't take long for me to cum. Jerry took it all and stood up. "That was good, he said. - "This is a beautiful summer treat."

I said, - "Whoo, that was wild" and pulled up my pants. Nothing more was mentioned and Jerry acted like it was all in a days work. I left a few minutes later.

All I could think about was the kiss and the blowjob. I wasn't use to doing that sort of thing but I liked it. His words came back to haunt me?" You're so nice - This is a beautiful summer treat -? I wondered what all that meant." - Could I be that green - that naive!!! Perhaps - but I would eventually find out.

Crossing Main Street a few days later I stopped for a traffic light when a Green Buick with Mass. plates pulled up beside me. This time I beat him to the punch. I said - "Hi neighbor"

Jerry said - "I was hoping you would be around today."

"Why I asked - "Does Linda need help with anything?" " No but I do" he said - "Get in."

This was the first time I was in Jerry's car and it felt pretty cool going someplace with my hero. Jerry drove to the outskirts of town and into the country.

" This is Switzer Hill he said to me. I use to go sledding here when I was a kid and can't count the number of times I fell off going down this hill. It's a great place in the winter. It's not a bad spot in the summer either if you have a buddy here with you. Damn - these pants are so tight that I can't get comfortable. Do they look tight to you Justin?"

I looked down between his legs as he took my hand and put it on the bulge in his pants. His dick was swelling and I knew what he was looking for. He turned off the engine and pushed the driver's seat back. I unzipped his pants and his cock came flipping out. He wasn't wearing any underwear.

"They're not tight now" - I replied.

I rubbed his dick a few times. It was a handful. I wanted to taste it so bad. I could see a drop of precum on the tip of his cock. He wiped it off with his finger and put it to my mouth. I just looked at it.

"You have to taste it Justin - c'mon lick it off my finger."

I obeyed. It tasted sweet. I was hungry for cock now and he knew it. Jerry turned, kissed me and whispered in my ear, "Kiss my dick and show me how much you like me.

It was something I wanted to do badly. I wasn't about to squirm in embarrassment by going down on him. I kissed his cock and put it in my mouth. In a matter of minutes Jerry groaned and held my head on his dick and muttered?"ohhh baby" and shot a load of cum in my mouth.

I swallowed it and came up for air. I had often thought what it would be like to blow somebody and now I knew.

"That was great dude -This is the way you take care of your boyfriend." Jerry said to me.

"OMG I thought - He called me his boyfriend." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I would find out later?much later, it was pure bullshit. But for the moment, I was happy.

Jerry dropped me off back in town where I met my mom after she got out of work and we walked home together. I kept spitting on the grass as we walked along the way. I couldn't get rid of the taste in my mouth but I kept trying. My mother never noticed anything was different about me that day.

I guess I was naive after all. Jerry in his green Buick was picking up young dudes around town including some of my friends and using them for blowjobs - "You're so nice- you're so nice" he would tell each one and every pick-up was going to be his boyfriend. Jerry had a lust for young boys and would seek out vulnerable ones and befriend them. He was quite skilled at doing that. I thought, yikes someday that may get you in trouble.

Erin, one of Jerry's gay buddies from Pittsfield, whom I met one time at Jerry's house, told me that Jerry cruised around Boston every chance he got. He never pulled that crap in Pittsfield where he taught school. He had to protect his job and was careful not to get caught.

I learned quickly there were people out there who would tell you anything just to get in your pants. That was the way Jerry operated but I didn't realize it in the beginning.

I wasn't perfect myself but I wasn't an idiot either. I grew up fast using what I had witnessed from him. Maybe I was searching for acceptance that was missing at home and Jerry filled the void. My parents were divorced and mom re-married, but my stepfather never took much of an interest in me. It wasn't anyone's fault; it's just the way it was. Besides I was a big kid, I didn't need fathering - so I thought!

Erin was a cool guy to be around. He loved the water and spent most of his time at the beach. He was built well - slim with a gorgeous tan. We went swimming one afternoon and later spent time listening to music and lying on the beach. He would bring a boom box and we would sing along to the

music. - Corny? - Yes I know - but that's what we did. We took turns rubbing lotion on each other and he became arouse when my hand touched his leg.

Erin was a cool-looking dude and I often thought it would be exciting to kiss him. I wanted to believe that Jerry was still my boyfriend so I didn't make any advances towards Erin. However, my outlook changed the more I found out about Jerry's lies and cheating.

One afternoon at the beach we had just come from the water and the sand was still clinging to our feet. We laid side-by-side talking when my hand went between Erin's legs and he left it there. He touched my arm and pulled me over for a kiss. It looked like a remake of the movie "From Here to Eternity" We never knew if anyone was watching us and didn't care to know. We just did it.

After that, I played around with Erin often. It was nothing serious that would mess with your head - but it was good sex. He was a good-looking dude with a great dick and a nice body, so we used every opportunity we could to get each other off. Erin loved to fuck so we did that also. It wasn't a "get even" scenario on my part because of Jerry. I did it because I wanted to do it. It was a hot summer.

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Chapter 4

The Days Ahead

The drinking age in NYS was eighteen. Bobby and I were eighteen now and could drink legally.

We remained friends but went separate ways after graduation. I went off to college to study Horticulture. Bobby moved to New York City to study interior design at Platt Institute - BUT instead ended up being a hairdresser. - Ya, I know - That figures?

When we were home for vacation or on a weekend jaunt we would head to Tony's just to hang out. We usually grabbed our favorite table by the window. We were chatting away when a finger tapped the table and a man said, "Hello neighbor." I looked up and it was Jerry. He had another dude with him that we didn't recognize.

Bobby looked up. - " Holy shit - Did someone let you out on good behavior? Pervert!!"

"That's not funny you little fag." Jerry replied.

"It wasn't meant to be funny - but it wasn't supposed to be mean either. I'm sorry Jerry. -

Ouch, but look who's talking - the green hornet himself with the big Buick"?Bobby said.

I butted in? "Okay - Okay guys - you can stop anytime now."

Jerry asked if they could sit with us. I said - "Sure."

"Did you bring the cockroach spray" Asked Bobby.

"Stop it" - I said

We all laughed at this nonsense and things seemed a little better after that. Jerry introduced us to his friend. He was an older guy and was also a teacher. Jerry said his name was Carl. He was big, (not clumsy big - just husky) nice looking and had a great smile.

"Where do you teach?" I asked Carl

"I work with Jerry at St. Katrina private school." I live in Pittsfield. He answered.

Carl was friendly and Bobby was paying attention to him. In fact it was a little too much attention. "Oh no, I thought Carl better keep his pants zipped or it's a quickie under the table"

Jerry said to us -" I'm glad we ran into you guys today."

"Why, I asked, are you going to Switzer Hill and you're horny for some company?" -

"Okay - I deserved that" Jerry replied. -

"No you don't Jerry, - well maybe just a little. I'm not complaining though, I had a good time with you on Switzer Hill - I'm just busting on ya." - I told him.

He continued - "I was going to call you Justin but I was afraid you wouldn't like me to do that. - What are you doing tonight? Anything special?"

"No, I answered, why?"

"Carl is going with me to a gay bar in Albany and thought you and Bobby would like to come along. You're eighteen now so that's okay. Hell, I'll buy the beer."

I had never been to a gay bar before. Bobby went to a couple in New York but it was new to me. I wanted to go.

"What do you think? I asked Bobby.

"Yeah, I'll go."

"It's settled then. Stop by my house around 8:00." said Jerry.

We met at Jerry's house, climbed into the green sex mobile and headed for Albany. Carl and Jerry sat up front and did a lot of talking. Jerry said something about an old queen.

"What's an old queen? I asked

"You're looking at two of them" Carl replied and they both laughed. I didn't know what that was supposed to mean?but it didn't matter.

It didn't take long for us to get to Albany. Jerry pulled into a small parking lot on Broadway near Union Station and parked the Buick close to the street. He thought it would be easier to find the car that way.

Getting out of the car I said to Carl - "I have never been to a gay bar before and this is going to be fun"

"I'm sure of it". - Carl replied.

Carl order four bottles of beer and we sat at a table to watch the action. There were scores of men in the bar. Some were old looking and others were young and all ages in between. It was like watching a web site for gay shopping.

Not everyone was available for the asking. It didn't work that way. But it was amazing how it did work. Guys wanted to be themselves, meet people and talk openly with others who had the same interest. There was music, dancing, cruising, drinking and laughing going on.

Carl and Jerry left us sitting at the table and worked the crowd talking to people they knew and didn't know. Bobby and I stayed together like two wallflowers at a school dance sitting on the sidelines and checking out the people...

"Would one of you guys like to dance?" said a young stranger about our age. "I saw you come in with those dudes over there ?lovers??

"Oh no Bobby said - we're just friends."

"C'mon then dance with me - I'm Jake - and you are?" - he asked.

"I'm Bobby and this horny dick here is my friend Justin. Ya, I would love to dance." -

"Are you really a horny dick? " asked Jake - "uh, "it's Justin"? - Right?"

"Yep -I'm Justin, "that's the rumor," I said, - but Bobby's a nut case so don't pay any attention to him,"

I was left alone so I went and sat between two guys at the bar who were checking me out. I could see them looking at me through the mirror behind the bartender.

Hum - "So this is how you meet people, I thought to myself. First it's a look, then it's a stare and finally a hook up if you're lucky."

"How cool is that" - I wondered."

"Cheer up my man" said the guy to my right.

"I'm okay - nothing to cheer up about." I replied

"I see your friend dancing with Jake and I thought you were upset - Jake makes a point of going after every new guy that comes in here."- Is that kid your lover?

"Well good for Jake, - He's hot." - and NO ?"The kid he's dancing with is Bobby and he's not my lover - He's a friend. We came with those two guys over there by the phone booth. I have never been here before - It's cool." I said.

"It sure is," he replied. "Hope you guys come back sometimes, my name is Ben" He extended his hand and gave me a big smile. Ben was "a keeper" and I liked him. If first impressions count Ben was a sweetheart.

"Hi Ben - I'm Justin. We'll be back - you can bank on that," I said.

"I hope so - Replied Ben.

I saw how easy it was to get attention. We didn't stay at Clancy's very long that evening. When Jerry noticed the attention we were getting, he decided it was time to leave. The next day Bobby said to me "Look, Jake gave me his phone number" He never acted on it however.

Bobby had a driver's license and would borrow his mother's car. We talked about returning to Clancy's on our own and we did return quite often.

I ran into Ben again at the bar but he was with a new boyfriend, so the greeting was friendly but casual.

When we returned to Clancy's we always had a good time. The people were friendly and finding a "hook up" was easier than skating at the rink. We didn't try to be suave and polished because it didn't matter. The ease for finding sex was endless for a couple of county boys and new doors were about to open.

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Chapter 5

A new beginning

Not long after that summer Bobby moved to San Francisco. He tried to convince me to go with him but the west coast was not my thing. He found a boyfriend and they moved together into an apartment in the Castro neighborhood. It didn't last very long and before you know it he changed.

Bobby let his hair grow so he looked wild; didn't work, didn't shave, got something pierced and lived on the beach. I still remember his favorite saying - "You can't do your living in a living room." -

That must have been right for Bobby - he is either still on that beach or somewhere under it. - Dumb ass.

I had a close gay friend from school that I met on campus but there was nothing sexual about our friendship. We hung out together and liked doing the same crazy things. My new buddy Brian worked as a waiter in an Albany restaurant and I had one more semester at SUNY to complete. I spent the summer with Brian in Albany and I worked part time with a landscape manager learning the nursery trade.

1At one time there was a luncheonette in Albany called the Charcoal Pit. It is no longer in business. They served the best sirloin steak sandwiches on a hard roll at a reasonable price, and so the place was popular. I use to stop there often. The crowd was mixed with lots of single guys and gals who would hang out there. They had older style stools that swiveled completely around at the lunch counter. I often sat at the counter.

1There was one guy in particular that I would see there a lot. He had a nice body and was good looking. He was slightly younger than me and had a nice build with smooth looking muscular arms. His hair was jet black and somewhat wavy, which peeked out from under his cap, and sometimes he wore a cowboy type hat. - I use to sneak a look every chance I got - piercing green eyes a killer smile. Girls hung around him and he acted cool. One day he sat next to me at the counter and there were no girls around. We exchanged a few words and he was friendly but on the quiet side. At one point, he swiveled around on his stool to face me. He was wearing tight jeans and a tank top that showed off his muscular arms and pecks. I glanced towards his leg and a packed bulge was outlined in his jeans. He made me nervous.

1There was this obvious gay guy by the name of Chucky Ray who uses to hang around the Charcoal Pit. He would strike up conversations with straight dudes with hopes of getting in their pants. And it often worked because he did just that. His father owned a neighborhood tavern and he would pour guys free drinks when he was behind the bar and his old man wasn't around. Before long Chucky stopped working at his fathers bar and was drinking around town in other places. So something must have happened. Yeah, something happened all right. It's called "gotcha."

1There was plenty of cruising activity along Broadway, a street that ran through a portion of the city. A gay crowd of aging "starlets" would gather at a tavern called "Clancy's" bar. I remembered going to Clancy's years earlier with Bobby.

One day on my way home I stopped at the bar for a beer. I knew a few people but not many. I recognized Chucky Ray drinking with a small group of guys. Standing next to him was the stud from the Charcoal Pit. They were "horsing around" and laughing. I asked the bar tender if he knew the good-looking dude hanging with Chucky.

He said, "All I know is that his name is Tom - he has a big cock, a killer butt and he's straight - sorry Justin."

I said, "Why the hell is he hanging with Chucky?"

He turned and blurted out as he walked away, "don't tell me you're that stupid" and went back to pouring drinks.

1What I knew about Chucky told me that something had to be going on. Chucky never had much money after his ole man threw him out, so I figured that wasn't it. There was some heavy pot and drugs around...perhaps that was the attraction. Maybe Tom was using Chucky for sex - Naw - that couldn't be it because this dude could get anybody he wanted. I couldn't figure it out. I thought if only I could talk to Tom when he was by himself maybe something would click.

"Ah, to hell with it 'cause it's not going to happen. Anyway - "that was that" - so I thought.

My roommate Brian came into the bar and set on the stool next to me.

"Get a load of Chucky drinking with that hot looking guy over there" Brian commented.

I know - I wonder what that's all about"? I answered.

"Beats me Justin, its money, drugs or sex 'cause Chuckey ain't no beauty and it's not for love baby, - Said Brian.

Occasionally, I would see Tom walking alone down the street in shorts and a tank top and I would think to myself - "OMG - he is something"?sigh -

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Chapter 6

My name is Tom

1One morning on my way to work I was driving up the boulevard when I thought I saw Tom hitching a ride. I passed by him and then went around the block again. It was Tom all right. This time I stopped at the light and he got in. I remembered that his name was Tom but he didn't realize that I knew it.

I thought to myself - "Justin, this is your one and probably only chance so don't screw it up"

I drove about a half block still looking at him. Not knowing what was going to happen - I came right out and asked him if he wanted a great blowjob. He stared straight ahead and didn't answer.

I thought to myself - "this is not a good sign."

I continued, "Charge me whatever you want. I don't care"

He turned to face me - "I'm not looking for cash" he said, then paused as if he was thinking about what I had just asked him -

"How great is great? "Do you mean right now?" - He asked

I said, "Yes - right now -" and breathed a sigh of relief.

He mumbled, " My name is Tom - okay man you can blow me" -

"I'm Justin", I told him "I live only a couple of blocks away." We went to the apartment.

The place was empty and my roommate Brian was working. My 1heart was thumping and I was a little scared. Excited as hell but still a little scared. I didn't know what to expect and I really didn't care. All I cared about was touching this dude and I was bringing him to the apartment with me. Nothing else mattered.

1Once we were inside the living room and comfortable. He let me unbuckle his jeans and gently fondle him. His dick began to grow in my hand and I licked it into my mouth. He never objected. With the groans he was making I figured he discovered what great meant.

I was determined to do this as unforgettable as possible and I'm sure I did just that. I still get excited thinking about it. I was all over him like a dog in heat. Everything that morning was perfect. Jerry would have been so jealous and yet so proud of me, but to hell with him. Damn I was pleased with myself. Tom was so hot; I thought I had landed in Oz.

The summer months filled with sexual encounters for both of us and eventually got hotter far beyond anything I thought would happen. But it managed to do just that. I understood why the ladies wanted to get laid by this man. His cock was long, thick and perfect. He smelled so clean and delicious it was electrifying just being next to him.

Justin I thought," What a slut you are" - and it didn't bother me one bit thinking about it. I played hard when it came to pleasing Tommy." And that's the way I wanted it.

1The first time that I picked up Tom hitch-hiking he wanted a blowjob and I wanted to do it. I gave him my number and he tucked it in his pocket -

"I'll call you"

I knew that would never happen. Hot looking guys never call they don't need to. I wasn't stupid but I pretended that it was a good idea. 1About a week later he called me.

" Want me to stop by?"

" I acted cool about it.

" Sure I guess that would be alright." I said.

Actually I was excited as hell but didn't want to show it. He came over and we got undressed. We played around a little, jerked off together and did mostly rubbing and touching. He left. Hum I thought - "Not great but it was okay"

1It was barely a few days later when he called again.

"Want me to stop by, " - I said, "sure" This time we sat on the couch our legs touched and neither of us moved.

He said, "Justin you are a sexy looking dude, and I don't tell guys that, but you're okay."

I told him if he wanted sexy to go look in the mirror 'cause he could make "hot"- sizzle. I think he liked hearing that. He put his hand on my knee, squeezed a little and then told me to stand up.

I stood in front of him and he unzipped my pants. I wasn't wearing any underwear and he pulled out my cock. The pants dropped to the floor and he wrapped his arms around the back of my legs and pulled me in closer to him. OMG this dude was sucking my dick.

He whispered, " Tell me when you're getting close".

I slid to the floor stretched out - I was about to cum. He took his mouth off and finished jerking me with his hand. He ran his fingers thru the cum on my chest and then wiped it off with a tissue. He said very little but got dressed and left.

I thought to myself -"What the hell was all that about!!"

1We began to see each other often. I spent much of the time sucking his dick.

Tom would ask me;" Did I cum a lot?"

"Yes, pretty good," I would say.

The next time he asked me the same question. - " Did I cum a lot?"

He wanted to look and touch it so he began coming on my chest. He was intrigued with cum. Often we jerked off together. He would put cum it in his hand and rub it on my face. Sometimes he would lie on top of me. His chest was warm and muscular. I began to look forward to doing this with him. His build was spectacular. He liked to lie on top of me and I would look up at his thick lips, the tucks of dark hair falling on his forehead and those killer green eyes. It was awesome.

1Having sex with Tom was hotter than hot. It usually ended with one of us standing and the other sitting or lying down. The exception was during a fuck session when legs and feet could be anywhere.

1Tom began getting more comfortable around me. When I had his cock in my mouth, he would call cum "food" and tell me that lunch was coming so get ready to eat. Talk about a turn on - I loved hearing him say it.

He was getting close one time when he told me to hold it. He jumped to his feet and shot into his hand. He didn't miss a drop. He motioned me back down. I thought here comes another sticky chest rub - no, not this time. 1He showed me his cum filled hand and brought it to my mouth. I sat upright and he told me to taste it. So I did.

"I'm going to feed you buddy" - You would like that? - Wouldn't you? He said," Get it all dude"

Coming from Tom, It was like touching the moon for the first time. I didn't know what to expect but it was heaven once I got there. It was a very powerful moment.

He put his wet fingers in my mouth so I could lick them until everything was gone. I wiped my hand across my mouth, "Christ, that was a lot of cum". Tommy flashed a huge smile. I knew he was pleased with what I had just told him. His face read like a satellite.

A-ha, I had discovered his weakness and I knew it - so I thought. I started to cum myself but stopped in time. 1He asked me if I had shot off yet and I mumbled " no, not yet" I stopped in time.

He relaxed and drifted back with his legs spread. He asked me to rub his chest and touch his ass. His body was smooth and hard. Tom had a fine line of black hair leading down his stomach towards his crotch. It was so sexy looking that sometimes I would nibble on it and rub my tongue over it. I found it impossible to keep my hands to myself. He felt like hard velvet.

"Touch me Justin - just touch me," he would say.

My hand worked its way around to his butt, which was smooth. Nothing was soft. He was solid, round and firm. Dressed in his clothes he looked great. Without them he looked incredible. He rolled on his stomach and I kissed his thighs and licked some sweat off his back. Everything was tempting so I put my tongue and face everywhere on his body and it only got better. I rubbed a finger over his butt and parted his ass cheeks.

"Put it in" he muttered. -

I did with the help of a little spit. He wiggled a little,

"Try two"

I did that also. He flipped around sat up and looked at me.

" Grab the lube, Justy I want to get fucked - I know you want it" don't question me man - just do it please!"

"Really, can I fuck you?"- I said.

"Don't question me man - just do it please!" He repeated.

He was correct. - I did want it. I wanted it all.

The lube went on my dick and I gently eased my cock inside him. He was warm and tight. Tommy liked having me inside him and he told me so. This was beyond my comprehension but I didn't question it. I was fucking this dude and bursting with excitement. It didn't take long before I exploded and filled his ass with cum. It was incredible.

Later he took a long shower and left. That was Tom's way - No conversation just have sex and leave. I often wondered where he went and how he learned what to do with guys in bed. I was too satisfied at the moment to think anything negative about it. That was okay with me -go home Tommy - leave. I didn't care.

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Chapter 7

Awesome

I had a job at a garden nursery. 1I received a phone call at work the following week. It was Tom wondering if I could do him a favor. I said, that depends. He was at Golds gym and just finished a workout and needed a ride. Tom had a driver's license but no car. He told me he use to borrow Chucky Ray's car to pick up chicks but wasn't hanging out with Chucky any longer so the car was gone.

"Now I know how Chucky held Tom's interest when I saw them drinking together" Hum I thought it made perfect sense.

Now days Tommy was getting around town on a bike or he used his thumb to catch rides. Looking the way he did he never waited very long for a ride.

I told him that I couldn't get away from work. He spoke softly into the phone,

"I have a present for you, so please pick me up" -

"What kind of present" - I asked. He didn't answer.

"Come on Justy, do me a favor you know I always take care of you, don't I?"

The words were right on and I liked how he said it. My dick twitched in my pants. He uses to call me Justy sometimes. At first I didn't like it because it sounded childish until I learned that was his way of being close without being tender or romantic. It was okay and coming from him, I liked it.

I went to pick him up. When I met him outside the gym and he was caring a brown paper bag. He got into the car,

"Here this is for you"- He said.

I opened the bag and peeked in. It was a marijuana plant that didn't look too healthy. I stared at him -

"Are you nuts, why would I want this thing?"

I didn't smoke pot but I knew that he did. He was growing this plant at home in his closet under lights and it wasn't doing well. He wanted me to keep it and nurse it back to health. THEN give it back to him.

Okay Tom, for you I'll do it but I really don't like it"-

Be cool Justin, "that's not your real present. Your present is between my legs and I want you a little horny. Can we get out of here? C'mon buddy let's go parking " -

I asked, "what's so special dude, it's not like I haven't seen it before". Tom answered -" just drive".

1I drove back along the Hudson River on the outskirts of the city and pulled into a deserted rest area behind the old train station. We sat in the car and he pulled down his shorts and his cock flipped out. He took my head and pushed it down to his crotch.

"Smell it dude - c'mon man smell it".

I didn't shower after my workout and I saved my sweaty balls for you. "Smell it, how does that smell?"

I begin to get aroused.

"Smells good," I replied and I wasn't lying it was good.

The smell of Tom's cock and sweat was erotic. He asked what it smelled like to me and I said "muscle and sweat.

I knew he heard the words that he was waiting for. I was going down on him when he stopped me. He began to get hard "come on" he said and pulled up his shorts and got out of the car. I followed him along a bike path, which ran along side the river and stopped at a clump of trees and bushes. He took my hand and headed for the bushes. We got inside and he backed me gently against a tree and put his hand down the front of my pants. He fondled my cock and held it for a minute, unzipped everything and pulled my jeans down to my ankles. Still hanging on to my dick

"A buddy has to take care of his buddy, right Justin?" He said to me.

He dropped to his knees and sucked in my dick to the back of his throat. My cock begun to get harder from the warmth of his mouth. I held on to his hair as he choked and wrapped his arms around my legs, pulled me in closer and kept me there. He stayed deep throating my cock and holding me tight. His eyes began to water as my cock went deeper into his throat. I came on his lips and he wiped some of the cum off with his finger and licked it. Then raised his fingers to my mouth so I could lick it. It was awesome - totally awesome. It wasn't exactly what I thought was going to happen but I loved every minute of it.

"Who taught you that trick? I asked.

"Porn man porn - don't you have any movies at your place?" He said.

I thought, "Porn hell -somebody showed you how to do that" -

From what I observed, he wasn't gay enough to know that - but maybe I was mistaken and it didn't matter! I was willing to play his silly game so I didn't say another word. After a blowjob like that, I was too weak to say anything so we left. 1I dropped him off at the corner of Jay and Lark.

"Take care of my plant dude"

I answered, "I better not get in trouble"

He stuck his finger at me like a pointed gun and walked away. He turned back just once and flashed that confident smile he was famous 1for. I drove away thinking about that awesome blowjob. I had a marijuana plant sitting on the floor of my car growing in a paper bag and my balls were empty. It felt good.

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Chapter 8

Tom's ego

1Tom and I spent time role-playing. The things he would say got dirty at times but it never bothered me. In fact, I liked it. The first time I watched him at the Charcoal Pit - I wanted him. I wanted to devour him but not keep him. Most of the time, but not always, I would make the first move.

Admiration is what fed his ego. There was a reason behind his desire for gay sex and I just had to find it. Tom worked out regularly at the gym. He was muscular and his bod was in great shape. His arms bulge with muscles, his pecs were handsome and his stomach was flat and hard. He was an alpha male around girls and with his gym buddies. Alpha males have hungry egos which need feeding and thrive on worship. It can be something as simple as smelling or tasting. When I discovered that secret about him, we clicked.

To his buddies at the gym Tom was just another dude. Girls used him for dates, sex and popularity. They failed however to tell him how desirable and hot he was the way he wanted to hear it. But I did. I told him every time we were together and he needed me for that reason. With the right moves and the right words, I could go anyplace and do anything to him...Except kiss. Kissing was off limits - He told me?

"Hold on dude - I'm straight Justin and I only kiss women. I live with a girl and we fuck. Sure she sucks dick okay but not as good as you".

I said, "Guys know how it feels best and girls just slide and slobber"

He agreed but still wouldn't kiss men "that is queer shit" and he wasn't into guys.

"Yeah, so I noticed." I answered. Tom never said another word about it.

But I thought to myself - "Cocksucker!!!"

Kissing Tom wasn't that important to me anyway. There was so much of everything else about him that was great, kissing came in last. We never said another word about kissing after that.

1Except for getting each other off we had very little in common. When it came to having sex we were pros together. If Tom was telling me something he would call me dude. When he wanted me to do something he would call me Justy and I knew the difference. When I rubbed his back, butt, legs, or feet I could lick or kiss anything and I did just that.

Tom's charisma ruled his thinking. He looked good and he knew it. Tom liked drawing attention to himself while pretending to be humble and cute. Always the hot dude who seldom looked for sex - .It found him. He could find sex faster than most guys - straight or gay.

1It didn't take me long to realize that a guy like this was looking to be worshiped. He never thought of it as worship. Tom didn't recognize what pleased him by name but I did. It was something I could tell about him. Women could not do that because they think differently from gay men. Tom was searching for someone to fulfill the needs that his body demanded. That's where I came in.

He chilled with his straight buddies and chased girls for pussy. There were a few gay dudes who knew him by name. They would brag about having sex with him but no one really believed it. Tom worried about his image around town. He didn't trust many people so he never talked about whom he knew by name or where he went. He did trust me. - It took a while but he did trust me.

When we were alone his moves were clear and the heat intense. At the time, I never thought anything was "Hot" so I didn't talk about it that way. I thought we were just a couple of horny guys. We were both young and we liked sharing our bodies together. Now when I think about it I realize that it was "hot" unbelievably hot.

1We would lie together naked fondling each other. Tom wanted to be touched and I knew that. I told him what he wanted to hear. I licked, touched, kissed his butt and feet. It wasn't difficult, it was delicious and I liked doing it.

Sometimes he would slide his cock down my throat. Sometimes he would sit on top of me. When he was about to cum he would stand up and fill his hand where he could look at it and I could handle or taste it. Tom never failed to release a big load of cum and he liked feeding it to me. It pleased him, so it pleased me. He would ask -

"Did I 1cum a lot?" He liked hearing about it.

"Yeah dude, you came a lot". Saying it turned us both on.

1In the beginning Tom would top me and he was good at it. I wasn't much into getting screwed but when Tom put his cock inside of me I liked it.

It wasn't long however before the roll got reversed and Tom turned into a bottom. I was getting inside him regularly and loving every minute of it. I asked him why he preferred to bottom and he told me that he loved the feeling he got from being fucked.

He said, "Women can't satisfy a guy that way but another dude could" He liked it.

So there we were top or bottom it didn't make any difference to either of us but Tommy preferred to bottom.

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Chapter 9

Tom's need

1I was driving up the boulevard one night and stopped at a biker bar called "The Harley" that was popular with young people. I went in and it was crowded but I found a spot at the bar. There were leather dudes and some tough looking girls in the back drinking, shooting pool and screwing around. They were all together in a group and I spotted someone who looked like Tom. I wasn't really sure but it didn't matter. It was dark, smoky, and loud music was playing one song after another. I was about to get out of there when someone set a bottle of beer in front of me and said?

"It's on me" It was Tom.

" I thought that was you shooting pool" - He looked straight ahead -

"You checking on me?" He had been drinking and a little surly.

" Check on you - That's bullshit -!!! I don't even know your name, you're probably an asshole anyway" - He broke a grin - "you might be Justin" I answered, "sorry wrong again dude, my name is Tiger.

He walked a little tipsy back to his friends. His girlfriend was with him in the group. A few minutes later he half stumbled back and whispered?

"Let's get out of here"

I answered, "Are you crazy, I'm not leaving with you"-

"Ah, c'mon Justin, "I want to get off" -

" Not now Tommy, your girlfriend is over there and she will take care of you" - to which he slurred, "Who, that bitch" I thought, oops there's trouble in paradise.

1I left the bar and was almost to my pick up truck when Tom reached for the passenger door.

"C'mon Justy aren't we friends?"

" Not really we are only sex buddies"

I must have said the right words because he brighten up and got in the truck. That's how it was with Tom. The right words could work miracles.

"Your girlfriend is going to miss you." I told him.

"Naw, she thinks I'm going to pick up weed. Say, buddy, did you call me an asshole."

"Yep I did - you're my asshole" - he smiled and squeezed my knee.

1"Drive man - you got me hot" he said.

"I haven't done anything" to which he answered "well not yet anyway but you will"

I headed up the boulevard and pulled into a parking lot of a closed furniture store. There were a couple of delivery trucks parked by the loading dock, other than that everything was dark except for a few lights on the building. Tommy, unzipped his pants, took my hand and put it inside his jeans. He was hard.

"This is for you man - take it, come on dude, take it"

1I had a terrible time trying to maneuver around in the front seat and things were not going well.

"How about later, this is not comfortable" I said.

He touched my face with his hand, "Hold on man, I'll do it" and started to jerk his cock while I licked his chest and told him how good he smelled. He somehow managed to get his feet to the dashboard and when he came he kicked. I thought his feet were going through my windshield.

Tommy pulled his feet back down and relaxed. "Got to clean me off baby"- He said.

He never used the word "baby" before so I figured it was the booze talking. I told him that he looked okay and the cum was gone.

"No Justy - the fingers, get the fingers clean"

He wanted me to lick everything. His girlfriend would look him over for cum stains when he got home and she even checked his underwear. It was difficult for me to believe he would allow her to do that BUT it was his choice?

Chicks - I never would put up with that crap but his time with women was none of my business. He cleaned up well and I felt good doing it for him.

"Tommy you sure came a lot." I told him.

He expected to hear that and it pleased him so it pleased me. He always smelled and tasted good and he needed to hear that also.

I dropped him off outside Harley's bar and headed uptown when I took a side street and turned around. Tom's power was still with me and there was nothing else I wanted to see or do. I was feeling that good so I went home.

1I never telephoned Tom. He preferred it that way because his girlfriend knew his friends and she didn't know me. Tom always contacted me and I like it that way. It was easy.

One 1afternoon Tom called me and I took a long lunch break from the job. We laid on the bed with our shirts off but our shorts were on. It was a hot summer day and the apartment was warm. The air conditioning was not working well. He cuddled next to me and put his arm around the back of my neck. I just laid there. He glistened in the daylight and was moist 1with sweat but smelled hot and clean. I put my head on his chest and began licking the sweat off his arm. It was electrifying. He tasted so good and I was getting horny just licking him. I ran my hand over his lips and put my finger on his mouth. He smiled and opened his mouth exposing really nice teeth. He sucked on my finger and got it wet with his spit. Tom then touched my face with it and said, "open" He put the same wet finger in my mouth. I was swapping spit with him. OMG I wanted to kiss him so badly but I knew that was something I was not allowed to do.

He rolled over and his arm went across my neck and he left it there. I was facing his armpit. I could see bits of black inviting hair under his arm. His biceps were bulging and he was getting aroused so I licked the muscle in his arm. His dick was falling out of his shorts and he was hard. He started to get some precum leaking from his dick. He reached down and put some of it on his finger and showed it to me.

"Want it?" Tom asked.

Then he put his sticky finger on my tongue. It was sweet tasting. He raised his arm and laid it across my mouth."

"Do my pits Justy -lick my armpits and please me"

I thought, "Why the hell not - I've been every place else"

I buried my face in his armpit began licking him when he really got into it. He stood up, raised his arm and leaned against the wall for support. There was no need to tell me again. I knew where to go. He was moist and hot. The sweat was intoxicating. I loved every thing about it and it's difficult to 1describe the pleasure I got from doing it. I wanted to do it again and Tom knew it. It was scorching hot and the licking would repeat itself at another time. I would make sure of that.

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Chapter 10

Coffee Date

1The city was building neighborhood parking across from my apartment building. Sometimes I would sit on the front steps reading my mail and watched the construction going on.

I thought, "Wonder who will get the landscape contract for the new building". I would often think that way when I saw bare property that needed landscaping.

The next time Tom called me was from his job. He told me that he was working construction for the summer months AND he was across the street.

I asked, "on the city parking garage" and he answered, "That's it"

I wasn't sure if that was a good idea or a bad idea having him so near by. My roommate Brian was a close friend but also a nosey cocksucker and I didn't want him to find out about him. I knew Brian would gossip at the bar and that was not good for me and certainly not good for Tom. Behind closed doors we acted like whores and got excited over the things we did together. We trusted each other. With him working across the street I was uneasy. I had to think.

1Tom wanted to stop by the apartment on Friday mornings around 7:00 am for coffee before going to work. Friday was a good day because Brian was away and Tom knew it. I liked the idea and this seemed a good way to exchange different conversation for a change. I agreed.

When Friday rolled around my doorbell rang at 7:00 am. He stood in the doorway with his hand leaning against the doorframe and a white hard hat tucked under his other arm. He stuck the hat on his head and walked towards me. He was wearing tight work jeans and work boots. You could see the bulge in his pants. I followed him into the kitchen without taking my eyes off his butt. Yikes - It was something.

The next few minutes were pretty normal. This was the first time we talked like friends, just a couple of guys over coffee. It didn't last too long before I ran my hand over his knee.

"No dude. Coffee remember! We are having coffee." He said.

He winked those killer green eyes and smiled. My hand went back to the cup. We liked each other.

1Just like clockwork the following Friday I was sleeping naked when the doorbell rang at 7:00 am. I threw on a pair of jeans but no shirt. Tom came in and leaned against the work 1counter in the kitchen. He was wearing a white tee shirt and jeans with a rip at the crotch.

I thought to myself. "Be good Justin and behave" I faced him and he ran his hand over my bare chest.

I said, "coffee dude, remember coffee?"

He lifted me on to the work counter and whispered, "Fuck the coffee!"

My jeans came sliding down and he put each leg on his shoulders and just looked at me. I laid there naked on the work counter feeling 1like a French hooker.

"Hey dude you should see your balls from this angle"

I couldn't stop laughing and slid off the counter and grabbed his hand.

Tom - "did you ever see the bedroom in this place?" - I said.

"Why don't you show me was his answered"?

A few minutes later we were rubbing cock together and filling Tom's hand with cum. After that morning I didn't hear from him again for several weeks.

1The finishing touches were going on the parking garage. I imagined that his summer job had ended. On Friday the doorbell rang. It was 7:00 am. I had just awakened and was wearing boxers but no shirt. I opened the door and there he stood - My hunch was correct about the parking garage. This was Tom's last week on the job.

"Got any coffee dude?" He asked.

"I believe I do - be ready in a minute"

I left Tom standing in the kitchen. The coffee was bubbling away and I went into the bathroom to splash some water and brush my teeth. Tom followed me and I could see him behind me as I stood in front of the mirror. He put his arms around my waist, laid his face against my back and held me for a moment.

"I need this" he said and rubbed my stomach still standing behind me.

My boxers came down and he was touching my butt. I could feel wet lube in his hand and he push a finger inside me. He bent me over the sink and gently eased his cock inside me.

Tom had a pretty big dick and the position he had me in didn't feel so good. The sink was pushing into me and I didn't like it - but I took it and didn't complain.

There was not a lot of conversation that morning and things were not the same. I didn't know if it was the job or problems at home. I acted like I always did when he was there and never asked if anything was wrong.

After a quick shower he left. He was down the stairs and out the door into a beautiful sunny morning. His hair was still wet under the hard hat. I turned off the coffee and just sat there. The phone rang. It was my gay neighbor across the hall. His name was Paul a friend of mine. Not a close friend but still a friend.

Paul said, "Do I have Justin's whorehouse?"

"Okay nosey - what do you want?

"The story slut - the scoop. Who is this 7:00 am wake up stud? I can set my alarm lock by him. I couldn't see his face but he looks hot as propane from behind -Whoo! What an ass."

"A friend -he's just a friend and nothing is going on so you can stop anytime." "Oh come on < mon ami> this is Paul you're trying to bullshit."

"Well you do know a lot about bullshit. Nice try Paul. I have to get to work".

We hung up the phone. I went to work that morning but instead of feeling uplifted like I usually did after being with Tommy I felt uncomfortable. Something didn't seem right. The phone calls stopped coming and I didn't see him again after that morning.

1Time passed. I stopped thinking about Tom. Life was good and I was surrounded with friends. I was at work one day compiling a list of shrubs for a landscape project. I was expecting a call from the customer with additional information. The call came and I picked up the phone. It wasn't my customer. Instead a man's voice asked if Justin Balancier was there.

"This is Justin"

"This is a voice from your past - do you know who this is?"

"Sure it's Tom Winfield".

"Justin - how the hell did you know it was me?

I told him his voice was easy to remember. We did a few minutes of nonsense chatter. He had moved to Mass and if I could get away for lunch he would tell me about it.

"Sorry Tom - I'm working on a landscape project and can't get away - maybe tomorrow."

Tom said he was in town only for the day with family. He was going back to Mass in the morning. I didn't know what to do so I thought for a minute and my dick began to swell just talking to him. I wanted to see him again.

"Where do you want to go for lunch? I Said.

"Let me surprise you" Tom answered.

The way he used words brought back memories and I liked hearing them. 1I went to the office mgr and told her that I cracked a tooth that morning. I called the dentist and he wanted to look at it this afternoon in case it was something serious. She was so sweet -

"You go ahead Justin and get it taken care of" - She told me.

I felt like a sneak making up that story - I really did but I couldn't help it. That's what I told her.

I was no longer living at the apartment. Brian was gone and I had moved into an old farmhouse just outside of Albany with my friend Danny who I had met at school. I gave Tom the address. See you in about an hour was the last thing he said before hanging up. I left work and drove home.

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Chapter 11

Tom's big mistake

When I got home there was a car parked in the driveway. Tom had beat me to the house and was waiting. He got out of his car and walked toward me. His appearance had changed and it was for the better. His hair was cut short almost shaved to his head and he was nicely dressed. The jeans, the cowboy hat, tank top and boots were gone. He looked slightly older and more mature. He was so good looking. There was no doubt about it. He shook my hand.

"Dude it's good to see you again. You haven't changed a bit - you're still a sexy little Frenchmen."

He used to say that sometimes because my dad was French Canadian and was born in Quebec. My mother was from Hazelton Pennsylvania and my brothers and I were born in New York. We considered ourselves American although my parents spoke Canadian French as well as English.

"Why thank you buddy and to you too." I said, trying to act unconcerned. I told him he looked cool, no better than that - he looked great.

"Married life must be agreeing with you". I said.

He mumbled - "well sort of"...

1We sat in front of the house on a stonewall with our legs dangling like a couple of teen-agers and talked about everything. 1We talked about some of the things we did when we were younger. He married his girlfriend and they had a six-year-old boy in school and a younger daughter. His girlfriend was from Mass so after they got married she wanted to go back home. Tom's family was still living in New York. He was in Albany to attend a funeral for his uncle who had passed away. I told him about my job and he pretended to be interested but I could tell that he was not.

"Man at one time, we pulled some crazy crap didn't we Justin?" God those times were hot! Said Tom.

"I don't know how crazy I'd call it but it sure was hot. I loved every bit of it. Yep - You were a good teacher Tommy" -I told him.

"Me, He 1blurted out -. I'm no teacher, I was the one who got seduced. Remember dude - hey, I was the one hitchhiking"? you drove me to your apartment then took advantage of my sweet young ass. Yep - you got your paws right down the front of my jeans."

That version is half right I said to him.

"You were the dude who said," - "Fuck me Justy, don't question me - just fuck me - if I remember correctly." A-hem?

Tom gave me a beautiful smile and those killer green eyes just sparkled. We were reaching a comfort zone. Our legs touched the same way they did years ago and neither of us moved. Tommy looked directly at me -

"Do you want to go and do one?" He asked.

One what? - I replied.

Dude, don't play dumb with me" said Tom -

I answered-"You bet that tender young ass I do" - Follow me

We hopped off the wall and he followed me into the house. I went into the kitchen and mixed a couple of drinks. We each had a taste for scotch so that worked out fine. We sat on the sofa still talking and getting re-acquainted.

I went back to get refills for the drinks. When I returned Tom was lying on the sofa with his shirt off and his hands behind his head. His muscles bulged and I could see the hair under his arms. I thought to myself - "that again". But I was wrong this time, he was just getting comfortable.

We continued talking for a while but I couldn't keep my hands to myself any 1longer. I kneeled on the floor and started touching his chest. I can't explain the 1excitement that was going through me at the time. It was cosmic.

"Want too?" - He asked

"Try to get away"- I said

I led him to the bedroom and for a brief moment we slipped back in time. Everything felt so right and we were together again. He sat on top of me and bent down. Tom put his cheek next to mine and gently kissed me on the lips. It was nothing passionate it was only a kiss. I looked up at that handsome face.

"What's that for" - I asked

1"Oh shut up - that's all you're going to get!" - he said and pressed his cheek once more against mine. We stayed that way for a few seconds and

I didn't know what to do next. For the first time in my adult life I was stumped so I just laid there and waited.

Tom looked at me and flashed the smile that had been missing for so long. The kiss was sincere and I knew he had to search deep in order to do that. It was his way of telling me something. Affection was difficult for Tom to put into words so he did it with actions. -

He rolled beside me and whispered in my ear.

"Will you fuck me Justy - please touch me and fuck me."

I realized this was the missing link from his marriage and I was important to him. He made soft noises and moved closer to me accepting every thrust. Tom felt at ease with my cock inside him and was content lying there under my body. At this point in time he needed exactly what we were doing.

I pulled out and kissed his chest just to taste him once more. He jerked off and it landed on his stomach and thigh. I licked him clean like I had done so many times before and told him he had cum a lot. I knew he liked hearing it again.

Tom could tell that I missed him. Actually we missed each other. We cuddled there and I held him - he was special and he needed to be held. He squeezed my hand a little and kissed my fingers. In my heart I was feeling a little sorry and I don't know why I felt that way. - Well - that's not completely true. I felt that way because I wanted to stay with him and I knew it never could be. Still I had a deep sense that he was not a happy man? Here was a dude who had everything - and he still did - but he belonged to someone else. It was something I just had to accept.

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind like my mentor Jerry would have done and carried the empty glasses back into the kitchen.

1The next thing that happened was not a pretty scene. I was in the kitchen and Tom was on the phone talking to his wife. He drank enough booze to want to call her. He was talking to her about having a threesome. This must have been something they would do together because she seemed receptive to the idea.

"I want us to do it with this guy I know. - Yes, we're friends and he's a cool dude - he's gay and you will like him." "Yes, sure- I know you will.

She seemed okay with the idea UNTIL he told her -

" No, not that - I don't want you to fuck him. Don't mess with him I'll do everything. I really need him to fuck me while I am fucking you." - "that's what we do"?

Everything became suddenly quiet and Tom hung up the phone. He realized he had just exposed his clandestine life to her. A life he had kept hidden for so many years. His wife didn't like what she had just heard. I could feel the tension in the room and it was not good. Tommy was in no mood to tell me anything so I said nothing to him.

We barely said as much as "good by" and he left immediately. I doubted that I would ever hear from him again. - With what just happened, I could feel it.

Around the holiday season I was walking through the mall filled with Christmas shoppers. I passed a seating area where folks could stop and rest. Near a bench were lady with two children and a man sitting next to them. As I walked by the man looked at me and our eyes met. He had dark green killer eyes. For a split second I was trapped in time. It was Tom. He saw me, paused for about a second and quickly turned away and I kept walking.

I took the escalator up to the second floor. I wanted to look over the railing and watch them. When I reached the top I peered over the railing to the area below. The bench was empty and they were gone. 1Riding the escalator back to the ground floor I stared at the empty bench. My subconscious thoughts never let up. Instead I kept getting a replay of events and each time they were more intense -

"I was the one who got seduce, Remember Justin"?"Touch me Justy, just touch me!!"?." Take care of my plant dude"?"A buddy has to take care of his buddy"- right Justy?. "My name is Tom" - he said. -I remembered that morning so well.

My eyes swelled with emotion but I was determined not to give in to my feelings. 1- I left the mall and went home. - I really did miss him!!

Chapter 12

The Altamont Fair

1For Justin there were affairs before Tom and he knew that his world would continue after Tom. It was impossible to hold on to something when there was nothing to hold on too - and he knew that.

For the longest time, the saying "Out of sight out of mind" didn't apply when it came to Tom - but eventually things got back to normal. Whatever normal was suppose to be. It didn't take long for Justin to realize that there were all types willing to rise to the occasion. When it came to hooking up it was strictly for sex. The name of the game was a great blowjob or just getting laid and that can be sad when it begins and ends there.

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There wasn't much excitement around town except for the bar scene and the occasional arrest in the park where some guy would be passing out blowjobs or someone else getting caught a cock up their ass. Brian had moved to Provincetown, Mass and was working in a gay restaurant serving drinks on the beach. I was about to finish my last year at SUNY when the fall semester began but for now it was living as usual.

The Altamont Fair came to town every year in late summer and brought along fun things to see and do.

The colored lights on the Ferris wheel towered above the chain link fence, which led to the parking field. This was fair night. I pulled into the parking lot and parked next to a row of farm vehicles. It was getting dark and there were lots of people heading towards the admission gates. With me was Danny my best friend and new roommate at the time. Before we got out of the car, Danny put his hand between my legs and grabbed my dick through my jeans

"Okay tiger, are you all set to get laid and then took his hand away."

"What is that suppose to mean?" I said.

He told me that there were studs on the mid-way and he was going to find me one. I quickly interrupted him -

"Oh no you're not. "I can do my own trolling and that stuff is not for me,"

"Oh for Christ sakes, Justin, do you expect every trick out there will be a prize. Oh let's just go, I want to grab something to eat before we start walking around".

We walked past several food venders and finally settled on pizza and a Pepsi. There were a few tables where one could sit and eat. We found a spot at a table and dug into the pizza. A couple of tables away three guys were drinking beer and talking. They looked like they worked on the fair grounds. One guy was hot looking and he caught me looking at him. He looked back for a moment and then went on talking to his co-workers. We finished eating and set out to see the sights.

The mid-way was buzzing with kids, teenagers, families with baby strollers and a few drunks wandering around. The night air was still warm from an unusual hot summer day.

We walked past freak shows, girlie shows and everything in between. Towards the end of the midway was a reptile show with snakes and lizards in glass cages. There was crappy music playing and a guy standing out front with a snake around his neck. The snake was pretty large and obviously drugged because it could barley move.

"Hold on Justin, I want to see what's going on"

We stopped and watched this guy talking to the crowd and selling ticket to the show.

"Look - said Danny, it's the dude who was at the table by the pizza stand"

Sure enough Danny was correct. This guy had removed his shirt and the snake was around his neck and lying on his chest. The summer sun had beautifully tanned his body. He wasn't wearing a hat and you could see his messy light brown hair curl around his ears and lay on his forehead. He had a sexy masculine build. I worked my way to the front of the crowd to get a closer look. Danny whispered in my ear -

"Toot, toot, everybody move back - major slut in over drive," Danny cackled. - I said, "Oh shut up someone might hear you"

"Well, excuse me, -tiger. Did you bring your binoculars? - Wouldn't want you to miss anything?"

"I won't"

I stood there for a few minutes looking up at him. His jeans were a bit torn in places and his dick bulged down the left side of his leg. It was noticeable and he knew it was noticeable. The way he stood with his legs spread and the way he smiled at the crowd - yeah he knew it all right. Danny gave me a little poke.

"Let's beat it, I've seen enough of Tarzan the snake man." Unhappily I agreed so we walked on.

As I gapped around taking in the sights, I couldn't stop thinking of that rugged face and hot looking body. The bulge in the torn jeans was getting to me. He did look a little grungy with carnival dirt especially around his waist. I was sure he could use some soap and water. Still I was hungry to see more of him. We stopped at an ice cream stand and I bought some ice cream and continued walking. Eventually Danny and I came around to the same reptile show. Standing out there again was the same guy holding that damn snake.

We stood in the back of the crowd this time and watched. I was licking my ice cream cone and he was talking to the crowd, He spoke with a sexy deep voice into the mike -

"This show is for the ladies too, - you'll see something you're bound to remember"

He looked directly at me. Our eyes met for a couple of seconds and he stayed staring. I ran my tongue over the ice cream once more and he let out a little laugh.

"So step right up ladies" - He said.

Danny mumbled - "Slut - Here you go again - now how are we going to handle this? "I'm not going to see that snake show - you can forget that"

"I know? - I said. "We're not seeing anything Danny - he is just being a prick because he knows that we're gay and he saw me looking at him. For the last time - stop calling me a slut."

"Okay, but Damn It Justin - he's so hot let's try to hookup anyway - maybe you can lick some of the dirt off his stomach - c'mon on, you've been practicing on that Ice cream cone"

" Oh sure, very funny - I replied, -"he hates us, can't you see that? - He's no doubt trouble anyway"

Danny replied - "You're probably right and I hate to admit that- geese, you sure can be a pain in the ass sometimes." He gave me a snooty laugh and we moved on. Danny was okay.

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Chapter 13

Kit

It was closing time on the mid-way and most of the shows had already

closed. Standing alone by the side of a canvas tent was the dude we had been checking out all evening. He still had his shirt off but the snake was gone. - We walked by him and looked him up and down.

"Hey, are you guys pissed" - He asked.

I said, "What makes you say that?"

He replied, "I didn't think you liked the lady remark"

Danny came back with, "that's sort of funny" yeah I piped in, "now that is sort of funny."

He stepped back into the shadows and spoke directly to us. "Why is the lady remark so funny to you guys?" - he asked.

"Well it's stupid" Danny said. "Ya - It was stupid but we got the message"

"Chill dudes, that was to let you know that you guys are cool. Stop worrying - my name is Kit and it was all in fun. That's what we do here on the mid-way, we have fun. "Are you interested in doing anything?"

"Like what?"

He answered, "Like some fun, you know like drinkin, fuckin or sucking something - I saw you checking me out - c'mon bud on you know you want to" - Then he touched my ass." - It was a gentle touch.

" I can get my buddy for your friend" What do ya say?"

Danny lit up like a Christmas tree and told him to go find his friend. He disappeared for a couple of minutes and returned with another guy he called George. He wasn't a bad looking dude. Not a Hollywood hunk but friendly as hell, cute and horny. Danny was taken with the idea of getting into George's pants. I could tell that right off. - "Who's the slut now?" - I thought.

Kit asked me my name and I told him Justin. So there we were I had a hot looking carnival dude who was grabbing my ass and a guy named George who had his hand down Danny's pants. This was going to be a fun night. I hoped that I would survive it.

Kit asked if we wanted to go anyplace special. We didn't have anyplace where we could screw around that was safe so kit suggested his trailer.

We made our way through rows of campers and trailers parked on the grounds near the Park Street entrance. It was dark and Kit took my hand and led the way. I turned around to be sure that Danny and George were keeping up but they had stopped. Danny had George backed against a trailer and was kissing the hell out of him. Kit squeezed my hand-

"C'mon baby, George will bring him." Kit told me.

We reached a small camper and Kit opened the door. Danny and George were right behind us. Kit announced, "Welcome to my den of paradise" and we all went inside.

George grabbed four bottles of beer and everyone got comfortable. Danny and George disappeared behind a blanket that was strung across the room as a divider for privacy. In matter of minutes you could hear the slapping of flesh banging away. When I heard Danny say, "Yeah, fuck me harder" I knew who was getting screwed.

Kit pulled off his shirt and drew me closer to him. He put my head on his chest and my hand on his crotch. I liked being there but I didn't feel comfortable having my face where the snake was about an hour earlier. I said nothing to him about it. Instead I kissed my way down to the bulge in his pants.

He opened his jeans and his cock was there for the taking. It was husky, straight, warm and hard. A glob of precum oozed from the head of his dick. I licked the precum off and buried my face in his crotch. I thought of what Danny said earlier -" Toot toot, major slut in overdrive" Now that's funny - the little prick.

He was a little gamey smelling but really hot. I licked him gingerly at first and then really got into it. " To hell with it - I didn't care - It was intoxicating."

I thought to myself. He was nectar from the Gods and Kit wasn't going to get away. I swallowed his cock deep and firm until he was about to cum. Then he stopped me. Kit stripped off the remainder of his clothes and dropped them on the floor. Then he undressed me and began to lick me all over. He nibbled my neck, chest, stomach, cock and balls.

"OMG - this dude is wild I thought to myself"

Kit drew my dick into his mouth with pressure and rhythm. It was an electrifying blowjob. It wasn't very long before I came in his mouth and some landed on the back of his hand. He licked the back of his hand like he was sucking lemon and swigging down a shot of tequila.

Kit's hand went between my legs and he began fingering my hole. I felt lube being rubbed on my crack and I saw the condom go on his dick. He slid his cock inside me and moved with great ease.

"Are you okay buddy" - He asked

"Yeah man you are incredible, you bet I'm okay"

As he was getting close to filling me with cum he pulled out and removed the condom. He finished jerking his dick practically kneeling on my face. He rubbed his cock over my lips -

"Open dude" and shot a hot load of thick cum on my tongue. He looked at me -

"Well baby what are you going to do with it?" - He asked.

"I'm keeping it " - I replied and then I swallowed - He said, "good boy"

Danny came back into the room a little worn for wear and we finished our beer. We were about to leave when I thought about asking Kit a question.

"Tell me, do you like having a snake around your shoulders?"

"Hell no, I hate it. If they didn't tranquilize the damn thing I would never handle it" This is my first time working on a carnival mid-way and the reptile show was the only job I could get. After this gig leaves town I'm quitting the show and heading for Florida. Carnival life is too rough, you are always on the move and it's lonely."- Kit told me.

"Thanks, I was just curious"- I said.

Danny piped in?"Yeah and also nosey"

"You're a cool dude Justin. I had hot time with you". - Kit said.

"That should be the other way around - it was me who had the great time".

I told him.

Kit held my face with both hands and planted a quiet kiss on my lips. "Stay safe buddy" he whispered in my ear.

When Danny and I reached the car the parking lot was almost empty. Danny wanted to drive on the way back so he got behind the wheel and I settled in the passenger seat to relax. We didn't talk much about George and Kit on the ride along Brindle Road, but I broke the silence.

"So Danny, did we have a good time tonight?"

" Incredible Justin really incredible. I don't know what's left to say right now"

"Ya know - I got to thinking about Jerry my mentor and I have a question for you Danny."

"Danny - Do you think there's a man in my life responsible for the way I hook up with guys for sex? - Or let's say the way I encourage the attention""

"Probably tiger? "Jerry's a good place to start - You had to learned it someplace," - he answered

"Yeah probably so"- "I guess that's right! -- I mumbled as I slumped down in the seat and gazed out the window into the blacken landscape whizzing by. It was very late and we went home?

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Chapter 14

Kit Returns

Horticulture classes at school had ended and I was finally trudging through the working world. Only I had a terrible time finding a job. Everything I had in my portfolio was on paper with no "hands on" experience when it came to landscaping. Everywhere I went the answer was the same -

"Get some experience kid and then come back and see me"

I wondered how I could do that if no one was willing to give me that first job. Danny came into the house waving a piece of paper in his hand.

"Hey Danny, what are you suppose to be - a cheerleader?" I asked.

"No tiger, Danny said - I heard of a nursery who needs a landscape assistant AND I filled out the application for you. So read it and sign it. I'm on my way to mail it. We'll get that ass of yours working in no time."

I looked it over and it was good. I thanked Danny and he was off to the post office. He was a screwball at times but we got along fine together.

A week later I was asked to come to the nursery for an interview and started my job the following day. Getting a regular paycheck made things a whole lot better. I needed to get to work more easily so Danny and I decided to leave the farmhouse and move back to Albany. We were excited to once again be downtown, where sex, lights, liquor and weed was everywhere.

Danny liked to hang out in the downtown's gay bars. He particularly favored the girl's bar because it was easier to meet guys who wanted to get away from the noisy crowd at Clancy's.

Danny left the apartment early on Friday and I was supposed to meet him later downtown at Clancy's. First though, - I stopped at Dolly's lesbian bar for a drink. Danny once told me that he thought he saw Kit there but I didn't believe him. He was in Florida as far as I knew.

Dolly was behind the service counter when I went into the bar. The place was a small close-knit joint. Dolly served salads and sandwiches at the service bar. The inside larger room had a horseshoe shaped bar where a tough looking lesbian served alcohol and kept the drinks and the fights at bay.

Dolly was an older very sweet Italian Lady in her sixties who reminded me of my grandmother. She wasn't gay but catered to the girls and watched over them. In return they looked out for Dolly's interest and helped her with things around the bar. They would lug freight, stack bottles, clean the bar, fix the plumbing and even painted the dinning room. It was one big family and Dolly was the Godmother. Many guys went there also so Dolly's was a mixed crowd of gay people. There was music, dancing, cruising and lots of fun. I guess that's why Danny liked going there so much.

Dolly said to me as I settled in at the food counter.

"No booze served out here honey but I can get you a sandwich"

"How 'bout a ham and Swiss if you have it Dolly" I asked as she wiped the counter in front of me.

"You got it hon. - want a coffee?

"No, I'm going inside later for a beer" - I answered.

The sandwich was great. Dolly made it on home baked Italian bread with lots of ham. When I finished eating I went into the horseshoe bar for quick "look around" and a drink. The room was not terribly crowded and there were empty places at the bar. Several people, mostly girls, were sitting at tables and some were slow dancing clinging to each other with Patsy Cline singing "Crazy" in the background. I liked Patsy Cline's music. I thought of myself as being "crazy" at times so I blended right in.

I knew the bar tender by name, "how's it going Colleen? "I asked.

She replied, " Not bad for a slow night."

A few minutes later she said to me, "Justin - Kitty over there wants to buy you a drink, what are you having?"

I knew a few of the girls by name but I didn't know a lesbian called Kitty -

I said, "A beer would be fine and who is Kitty," she pointed to 3 people sitting at a table but I didn't recognize any of them. I sat there sipping my beer and thinking - "Kitty" - naw it can't be him. - That's a girl's name."

I spent the next few minutes watching a weeping lesbian peeling the label off a bottle of beer and listening to Patsy Cline singing, "I fall to Pieces" She had seen her girlfriend making out with another gal and she was crying in her beer. How silly I thought to myself. You wouldn't catch me acting like that. My thoughts shot back to Tom for just a minute and I said to myself - "Nope not even for him" - That's history.

Someone sat down at the only spot left at the bar. I looked at him through the mirror and turned to face him.

He said to me - "Hey, Justin, imagine running into you again after all this time"

He gently touched my knee and I stared at him. Then in a flash I said,

"Kit -What are you doing in Albany? Danny told me he had seen you in here but I thought it was bullshit. -You know how Danny likes to joke around." The last I knew you were quitting the carnival and heading to Florida" -

"I did quit- couldn't handle any more of that noise - so you wouldn't see me returning to Altamont? Let's see - that's where I first met you!! - Right? Well, I've been in Albany for a couple of months now - and was hoping to run into you. I heard you were working here," He told me.

Kit pointed - "My friends over - They talked me into hanging around for awhile See those two girls sitting at the small table" - He said.

" C'mon on I want you to meet Eva and Terry - they are a couple of tough bitches - I'm sure you will like them. - Butch it up kid"

He slid off the bar stool and we walked to where the girls were sitting. He introduced me to Eva and Terry as a lost friend. Terry was sweet and quite feminine but her partner Eva was a jackhammer and a powerhouse.

Eva said to me, "Well sit the hell down. - So you're Justin!! -Kit said you were a good fuck? Where did you get that name? Justin" I think I'll call you Justine."

"I think you won't - I don't like being called that." I answered.

Eva took a swig of her beer - "Hey Kitty, I like this kid. Where the hell did ya find him? - He's got balls," she blurted out.

I turned to Kit - "What did she call you? Did she call you Kitty?"

"Ya she did, - She says I'm a "pussy" so she started calling me Kitty instead of Kit and it stuck. I don't care, she comes across hard as concrete but she's good people" -

"Is that true baby, - you got balls?" Kit asked me.

"You ought to know, I was lucky to get them back when I left" - I said.

Kit was a sexy looking "hottie" when I first saw him on the mid-way at Altamont. Yeah, he was a little grungy but in my minds eye I could still see the sweaty chest and the torn jeans. There was no forgetting the night we played together in his trailer, especially when he said to me - "swallow!! -That's a good boy" -

But now Kit had changed dramatically. He was nicely dressed and his clothes looked expensive. His hair was shinny clean and cut short. He was beautifully tanned by the sun and his shirt was unbuttoned, He smelled like Irish spring soap. He smiled a lot and looked handsome? - It was all for the better.

We had a couple more drinks and then left the bar together. We didn't go to my apartment but instead went to where he was staying. Kit wanted to show me his apartment and meet the guy he was staying with. I asked if it was his friend George from the fair.

"Hell no, said Kit - George is in Florida probably chasing alligators" - "This guy is a retired doctor"

I said, "Sure - let's go."

When we got to the apartment no one was there. Kit unlocked the door and we went inside. The vestibule was fairly dark but there were lamps lit in the living room. This was a classy looking apartment and a far cry from what I shared with Danny on Dove Street.

Kit said the building belonged to an older man probably around seventy, so he thought. He was a retired gay doctor from the Medical Center whom he met him thru Terry who was working at the hospital.

Kit said. - "When I met the doctor we became friends right off."

"Ya, I'm sure of that, - I can only guess what a gay doctor would want from you," I said. Kit just smirked and didn't answer.

Kit wasn't working had no steady income and didn't pay rent. He was wearing nice clothes, expensive Italian leather shoes and had cash in his pocket?. humm, I wasn't stupid?- Pretty soon the pieces fit together rather quickly. - Can you say - "Daddy"?

Kit's husky body was available to the Doctor for his pleasure. No doubt it was in exchange for money, sex or drugs - probably all three. -

I shared some intimate moments with this stranger named Kit - only now our lust included a third person - Dr. Mac. This was not so pleasant an idea and I wasn't sure if I really cared or not - but I was about to find out.

Chapter 15

Meet Dr. Mac

I suppose everything that goes around comes around when you stop and think about it. That's how it went with Justin and Kit. Warm thoughts were realistic to Justin and the memory of Tom became resurrected.

"Before you say anything Justin I can tell by your expression that you think I am using the doctor for material things." Kit mumbled in a rather low voice.

"Did you say "think" for material things? " I asked.

"That's right buddy it's for sex and anything else he wants, or for that matter whatever I want. He gives me things and I take. - I please him so it's really a job that I do and I get paid. It's not the end of the world bud, it's just a job and I don't mind working at it" I make out pretty damn good too."

I didn't answer - I just looked at him.

Kit continued, "You really don't understand, do you?" -

"Yeah, actually I do." But it's cool, I said. "If you catch something the doc can give you a pill and make it all better - but what the heck you're getting free medical care out of the deal" - I said rather sarcastically.

"Justin! - You're jealous aren't you?"

"Just kidding - I wanted to see your reaction. - What the hell do I care what you do" - he smiled but he didn't stop looking at me. His hand started rubbing the front of my jeans.

"Whatever you're thinking - cut it out." - I told him

He kept looking at me and said; "Come here, dude,"

"This doesn't feel right - remember you're a working boy now." - I said.

"Oh stop the sarcasm - you're my baby" Kit mumbled and kissed me feverishly pushing his body up against mine. He never noticed that I called him a working boy - at least it was never mentioned.

Kit continued - "I know, everything sounds pretty greedy huh? - But hey dude, after you've work on the mid-way this is no big deal. - I didn't approach anyone - he asked me and I jumped on it. I get cash and a nice place to live. Come on dude, you can't hate me for that - now can you?"

"Nobody hates you Kit. - If I was a rich old doctor I would buy your ass in a minute and be happy to do it -you have to look at life from both sides. I get it - I really do."

I wanted to understand when I saw it was no big deal to him. I knew that Kit never explained his sex life to anyone and there was no need too, still this was uncomfortable to talk about. Just the same I was curious and nosey - so I asked him what he had to do in order to please the doctor.

He answered, "I'm happy here with how things are going."

He reached out took my hand and said. " So Justin, what do you think?"

"I think you skirted the question like a professional. Do you feel like talking about it or shall we skip it - doesn't matter to me personally. I'm just being nosey".

That's okay babe - nosey is good. - Kit began to tell me the story?.

He said - "Eva's friend Terry, you met her tonight, well she works at the hospital and knows Dr. Mac's sexual habits. I don't know how she knows them but she knows them. Terry has even met some of the dudes he has taken care of in the past. Eva says Mac's a pervert who trains guys for nasty sex - games but that's just Eve just running her mouth as usual"-

"Terry mentioned that there was one dude who was Doc's favorite. He called him Tommy and rumor has it that he was straight and living with a girl. He never brought Tommy to the bar because Doc thought that Tom had a boyfriend someplace that he never talked about. Doesn't matter 'cause I'm here now. - Yeah, wild Kit the reptile trainer is here," Whatever he could do - I'll do it better - Kit said.

I sat there listening to Kit and couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't want to believe it - none of it, but I continued to listen.

Kit continued - This Tom guy eventually moved on and I guess that Mac was alone. The doctor would sometimes meet Eva and Terry for drinks. It was at Dolly's where Terry introduced me to him. He told me that was married years ago but got divorced. He has a daughter living out of state who seldom bothers with him. He owns this building and keeps the top floor for himself but doesn't actually stay here. The apartment is his playroom - sort of a get away place for dudes and sex - that's where I come in. You know the rest of the story from here.

Mac calls the top floor and this fancy apartment the "Winter Palace" - He has thrown some wild Christmas and New Years Eve Parties here for friends. "Cool huh?? He said to me.

I answered -"You have no idea how cool - What do you do in bed? I mean he's pretty old can he gets it up?

Kit continued - "You bet he can and he's hot too. - Not teen age hot but you know what I mean. He loves sex and he knows what he's doing.

I pose and strip for him and he watches. I have gotten some insane blowjobs I mean really wild. He likes me to sit on his chest and jerk off in his mouth. I have to talk to him while I'm doing it. I ask such things as, "are you hungry doc?" And then I tell him what I will feed him. - " Do you want some cum doc" -take it - " tell me how bad you want it?" - You know, crazy shit like that.

He also takes cum from my hand, licks my armpits and tastes my ass. He's wild to be touched and fondled so I do that also"

"Afterwards he showers and goes home. There are a always a couple of twenties, sometimes three or more left on the counter for spending money. He has groceries sent over and pays the bills. I stay here and take care of him when he wants it." Doc is really good to me and sometimes let's me drive his car if he wants us to go someplace. "

"He told me that if I wanted to have a boyfriend here for sex or company to go ahead and do it. BUT ask him not to steal anything - we laughed a lot about that - he's a hell of a good sport. You - Justin are the only dude that I have brought here. You're special."

"That is a sad story Kit - almost fairy tale like. - I believe you though it sounds real enough - I now have something to think about, but I probably won't be bothered thinking about it - I guess."

"Why do you say it's a sad story and why do you have to think about anything. Are you saying that you no longer like me?" - Kit asked.

"No nothing like that I answered. Of course I like you - I like you a lot. Probably sad was the wrong word to use. I never heard a story like that before - that's all" - I should have said the story was strange."

I lied -I did hear the story before in fact I lived it. A weird feeling came over me. I remembered that Tom and I did similar things when we had sex together. Doc's Tommy and my Tommy was one in the same. " Yes -it was possible - very possible."

"Now that you've seen the joint and heard my street story, lets drink the Doc's booze and get loaded." Kit said as he popped a couple of pills in his mouth.

"Pills!!! - Are they for "Happy time?" I asked him -

"Naw it's only aspirin" Kit answered. It didn't look like aspirin to me but what did I know. I wasn't the baby sitter.

We began drinking scotch on the rocks and got very horny and very drunk. The sofa was uncomfortable but it was quite large. Kit startled my face so I could suck his cock until he was ready to cum and then we reversed roles. Sucking each other this way was bubbling.

We half staggered to the large bay window that overlooked the park and lay down on the padded window bench and stared at the stars in the dark sky. Kit pulled my jeans the rest of the way off and threw them on the floor. He got naked and the two of us kissed, sucked and fucked for what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes. I fell asleep not knowing exactly what we were doing.

I woke up still laying on the window seat and it was daylight. The sun was shining through the half open blinds. I don't know how long we had slept in the window. My mind struggled to adjust. Kit was curled beside me like a sleeping cat and not looking very comfortable. We were both still naked. With the two of us laying in the sunlight, it was a "yucky" sight and not one that I care to think about. My head ached, my back ached and trying to remember how we carried on in the window the night before was just making it worse. My eyes were awful, and the pounding headache lingered.

Kit stirred and rose up off the bench so he could stand. He took the towel and wrapped it around his waist and with two poached eggs for eyes he looked at me.

"Morning sunshine - you look like crap - but you still look okay to me," he said.

"Well I feel like horseshit" -

"Ya - that about covers it, manure breath" and kissed my forehead.

There was a short knock at the door followed by the sound of a key in the lock. Kit went into the vestibule to check. He turned and leaned his neck back around the doorframe and whispered -

"Put your pants on babe. The doctor is coming in -There's the bathroom to go freshen up - Let's give him a little " show and tell."

= = = = = = = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Chapter 16

The Party's over?

I washed my face, combed my hair and cleaned my mouth with mouthwash. I looked better when I came out of the bathroom and stood by the window but still feeling inside like horseshit.

Doctor Mac at first glance was a pretty impressive guy when he came into the apartment. He was older but handsome and nothing like I had imagined. He walked over to me - smiled and stuck out his hand.

"Look's like I missed a celebration - Hi there I'm Mac." He said to me and took my hand with a firm shake.

"Yes I know it wasn't hard to figure out." I said.

"Oh lover boy over here has been talking about me huh? - Well, set your pretty ass down if it isn't too sore from last night" - Doc said,

"It's okay - I'm good - nothing I can't handle " - I answered and pulled my shirt back on over my head.

"Kit - What time is it?" - I asked. - Kit pointed to the clock and said 8:45."

"Damn it, I have to be to work in 15 minutes - I can't do it. I'll give my boss a call."

"What are you going to tell him"? - Kit asked.

"I don't know he'll probably blow his head off. - I'll just have to lie.

The number rang and Sherry the office girl answered. Sherry - I asked, "Is Jeff around. I have to talk to him." - " Hold on Justin he just got here."

"Ya Justin - what's up?"

" Jeff, I can't make it in today"

"What's the matter pal, are you sick?"

"Yes?well actually - no, I went out drinking last night and I have the worse hangover that God every created and I feel like crap. I won't be any good to you. I'm sorry but I can't work today."

I expected some bad vibes from Jeff but instead he was okay.

"It's slow here so don't worry about it Justin - get some sleep and we'll see you tomorrow" - Jeff told me.

"Thanks Jeff - I owe you one" - I said.

I hung up the phone and Kit said to me -

"You owe him one? - What the hell is that suppose to mean? And that was some lie you told. - Why did you have to tell him the truth? - I don't know about you Justin? - Why didn't you tell him that you got fucked last night too and slept your ass in a bay window"?

"Stop it Kit "He did the right thing. Dr. Mac said.

" Kit answered - "Yeah - "right thing" - that's bullshit."

I said - "You know Kit - Maybe if you went out to work you might appreciate having a job"

That probably was not the right time and place to say that. Things were getting testy so everyone stopped talking.

Dr. Mac poured me a large glass of tomato juice and I sat on the window bench drinking it.

I stood to watch people walking their dogs along the park and traffic was backed up on State Street. It must have rained last evening because the lawns looked wet and tiny beads of water was dripping off the plants on the balcony. Traffic was picking up considerably and folks were rushing off to work. I thought to myself? "If I wasn't such an idiot last night, I would be on my way to work also"- actually I wished I was anyplace but standing in this bay window.

Dr. Mac went into the bedroom and Kit followed him. I won't even mention what was going through my mind at the time. Kit was having sex with Mac bit I didn't know what exactly was happening. They were gone about twenty minutes or so. Mac came out of the bedroom and said to me.

"I have to get running - nice to have met you Justin. Don't waste the day screwing around - go out and do something exciting but keep your dick in your pants." He winked at me and closed the door behind him. - The doctor was okay - I liked him. - I thought!

Kit was taking a shower so I joined him. We soaped up and rubbed our cocks together and did some slippery body presses. He ran soap through the crack of my ass but nothing happened and it ended there. The shower helped a lot and the water felt good to be clean again.

We dressed and Kit asked me if I felt like grabbing some breakfast and then stop by to see Eva and Terry at their apartment. Everything was in walking distance and I was getting hungry - so that's what we did.

The Miss Albany Diner served good food and was only a block from the apartment. After having breakfast we felt human again. Kit insisted on paying the check and pulled out a $50.00 dollar bill for the cashier. He whispered so no one could hear -"It's on Dr. Mac"

"My God. You're such a whore," I said.

Kit whispered in my ear, "I'm a working boy" and gently booted me in the ass and out the door. We left the diner.

Eva and Terry shared a basement apartment on Lancaster Street only a few blocks from the diner. Eva came to the door with a bottle of beer in her hand.

I said, "Holy crap Eva it's 10:30 in the morning and you're still drinking"

She replied - "That's right Peggy Sue - I'm getting ready for New Years Eve and I want to beat the rush" so shut up faggot."

I didn't say another word - not a single word.

Terry was acting strange and looked annoyed. She had an argument with Eva and was still brooding. This I could believe. Kit said they fight all the time so I asked him?

"What's wrong with these dykes - all they do is drink, argue, swear and fight."

"It's chemistry Justin. They have a strong mind set and look at things differently than most people"

"That's nuts" I replied

"Maybe so but you're not a lesbian"

"The four of us were chatting about nothing special - just talking when Eva turned to me and said, "Why don't you get your finger out of your ass and say something"

I said, "Nice place you have here" Eva laughed and blurted out -

"Fuckin queer"

Whoo - I tried hard but I didn't like her. Little did I know that down the road she would end up being a dear friend.

We hung around for a while and then left. I brought Kit to my apartment. Danny was out someplace. He was always out someplace trolling the bus station looking for cock.

I wanted to lie down to rest and so did Kit. We went into the bedroom and stretched out. He put his arm around my neck and pulled me closer to him. We did some deep kissing and Kit put some spit on his finger and placed it in my mouth. He pulled his shirt off and put his armpit over my face and said, "Lick me Justin, do my pits"

I can't explain the weak feeling that came over me. It was Tom being resurrected and it frightened me a bit and yet I licked him. I liked doing it and I wanted to see what else he expected me to do.

He lifted my knees to my chest, wet my ass with spit and slid his cock into me. Ever so gently at first pulling back and then sinking deeper. It felt wonderful. When he got ready to cum he pulled out and shot in his hand.

He stood up, put his hand full of cum to my mouth and said, "Lunch time baby" -"take it - take it all"????good Lord, this was all too familiar and I didn't like the feeling coming over me. It was a sick feeling and I didn't want any part of it. I couldn't play this game any longer. I got up and went into the bathroom. Kit followed and asked if I was all right. He could tell that something was wrong. I blamed it on not feeling well from last night.

"Every things okay - just still hung over." - I said.

Kit put his clothes back on, gave me a hug and left. We were to meet at Dolly's the following night but he never showed. In fact he didn't show the night after that either. About a month went by and still no sign of Kit. I couldn't telephone him if I wanted to. We didn't exchanged numbers because we never called each other for anything. I thought about going to Dr. Mac's apartment but decided against it.

It was a Tuesday afternoon when I stopped at Dolly's on the way home from work. It was early and the joint was practically deserted. Eva was mopping the floor and helping Dolly with some cleaning.

"Well, look what the fuckin cat dragged in! - Where the fuck ya been" Eva shouted to me.

"I shouted back - hey, not bad; how 'bout you -" can you say something that doesn't have the word "fuck" in the sentence."

"Fuck yes" Oooh, I mean, - "why of course I can you precious little tiger" - "There, are ya happy now fucker?" and she laughed and laughed. It was good to see Eva laugh - She was always so serious and tough acting. Behind the brawn there was a real person in Eva. She wasn't tough - she was lonely and you just had to recognize it. We became friends.

She came over and we sat at the same table where Kit introduced me to Eva and Terry months earlier. She told me that she and Terry had broken up and Terry was living back with her ex husband. I didn't even want to go there so I didn't ask any questions but I felt like saying, - "I'm not surprised - all you did was drink and fight" - but I kept my mouth shut.

"What do you hear from Kit? I haven't seen him around in quite awhile."- I asked her

"Hey hon., didn't you hear that Dr. Mac kicked his ass out. He got drunk one night and stole his prescription pad and tried to get codeine with it. It didn't work of course and Mac got him off the hook but then dropped him. Yes sir - kicked his ass right out of the Winter Palace. Last I heard he want to California. Some dude in here last week said he was in San Francisco."

"Probably a good place for him". I replied.

"Probably so, those California queens are whacked out anyway" - Eva answered

"Oh - I don't know about that - SF is a pretty cool place. A lot of gays think that's so. - I told her

"Yeah, I know -it's Golden and I wish I was there myself sometimes" - she said. "It looks like I'm stuck here in this rat hole but it's okay with me - it's home."

You know, Eve -" That is quite a story you just told me about Kit and it sounds like something he would do. He was really cool when he was with me but there are some things he never would talk about" - "It's money and drugs - it's always money and drugs." I suppose - I told her.

"Honey just between us Kit was always an ass hole. He would pop those uppers like a Venus flytrap on a good day. Doc thought more of taking care of his own dick than he did of Kit's head. -The old fucker, gave him more damn pills just because Kit asked for them?"

"Kit wasn't very honest but he was awesome at times and I liked him" - I said.

"I know why you liked him - you big brownie queen? - I liked him too but hell I'm no one to judge people. Look at me - I'm a looser," - Eva said.

"Ah, cut it out Eve - you're a little sharp around the edges but you are the head lady in this joint". - I told her.

"Ya - It's a "joint" alright - I'll give you that - but? If you sweet talk me one more time I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your ass that you won't get the smile off your face for a week." - She said.

Eva continued:

"Dr. Mac is a strange fucker - oops, I mean a strange case. The way he pays these guys and trains them. But I guess it's easy money and he seems to replace them pretty quickly. You never met Tom. Tom was his favorite boy- toy. He was a hot looking piece - I remember he had a sexy looking chick for a girlfriend - she was wet for sure - Yeah, I would have jumped on that little man in a boat in a New York minute."

"Yuck Eve - that's terrible, let's skip the chick for now"- I said

"You can be such a pain in the ass sometimes Justin - stop pretending you're a pilgrim! - Now let's see, where was I?" - Eva said to me.

.

Okay - I remember she said...

"Do you remember that faggot Chucky Ray that use to work the bars downtown? - Probably still does - Well he would pimp for Dr. Mac and find studs for the doc to play with. Chucky took speed, painkillers, codeine crap and God knows what else - Mac kept him supplied with pills in exchange for hook- up's. Straight or gay it didn't matter to Mac as long as they were legal age, had hard bodies, hot to look at and kept their mouths shut.

Chucky found Tom one night shooting pool and they got talking. He offered him some real cash to jerk off for an old guy and Tom said he would do it. I guess if the money is right????whatever." - "Doc owns the apartment building on State Street. You remember!!" - She said.

" Yeah, I do remember it" "Is that where Tom lived?" - I asked.

"Nope, he lived with the girl that you won't let me talk about." He probably married the bitch"- anyway "Mac brought Tom into Dolly's a couple of times and told us that Tom was straight. He was a doll and the queens were cruising him so Mac stopped bringing him. He probably was straight except when it came to making bucks.

It was Kit who told me how the doctor liked to have sex- all this eating cum stuff and licking armpits - yuck -Kit would laugh and say it was on the job training."

"Wow that's weird stuff. - Whatever happened to this character Tom," I asked.

"Damn if anyone knows for sure - Doc use to say that Tom was really bisexual and liked guys as well as girls - but who knows. All I know is Tom was Doc's favorite toy. He was upset after he stopped coming around the Winter Palace. This Tommy had something going for him. Doc heard that he got married and wasn't around Albany any longer." - They come - they go, - so who the hell cares anyway" Eva said.

"Gee that's almost sad, isn't it? -I said to Eva.

"That's life - Justin, grow up. These cock suckers give us good queers a bad name - screw 'em all"?and she started to laugh uncontrollably.

Eva was still laughing as she got up from the table to help Dolly stack beer cases. I shouted good night to Dolly and left. My head must have been a little screwed up. I forgot where I parked the car but found it a block away.

My drive home was a tough one. Something inside me had lived and died all at the same time and it wasn't a nice feeling. I ran my hand along the passenger seat and I could feel Tommy sitting beside me. - I could see Tommy's marijuana plant sitting on the floor - and I could feel Tom's kiss.

"Your real present is between my legs - I could hear Tom saying. -

Nothing I was thinking really was happening at the time, but I wondered, - "What is real anymore?" I drove along the dark streets past several lit houses with only the glare of oncoming headlights for company. I had plenty of memories for company but inside I was lonely.

I kept thinking to myself?

"Justin, this is your one and probably only chance so don't screw it up"

Maybe I "screwed" things up after all - I had no reason to believe that but I wasn't going to dwell on it?

Tom and Kit each moved on. - I never saw either of them again. Don't get me wrong; I am not a doom and gloom sort of guy. Yes, I felt lonely that night but I was also happy - Happy to own the memories of these special people. -

"The only foolishness in life is misery and you have to hold yourself together or you'll always be crying." Even so - The tears began filling my eyes and I struggled to hold them back but this time I just couldn't do it?

I often think that if I had one hour to go back and relive my life over again, I would like it to be a Friday morning around 7:00 am when the doorbell rings

Notes???

Where they are now?

Bobby never returned from California. He eventually moved from the Bay area to southern CA. He pulled himself together and is working as a hair stylist.

Linda passed away a couple of years ago from Lymphoma.

Jerry, gave up teaching, sold the house and moved to Boston. No one ever hears from him. He may be incarcerated or wearing an ankle bracelet.

Erin is head of the Science Dept at the "Katrina School" in Pittsfield and a lifeguard on weekends at the local YMCA.

Carl stopped going to gay bars and was reunited with his wife. He has two children and still teaches school in Pittsfield.

Paul works in a flower shop.

Danny moved back home after getting sick with lung cancer. He had a lung removed and is permanently on oxygen.

Brian found a boyfriend in Provincetown and they are living together in Kalamazoo Michigan.

Chucky Ray quit the local bar scene. He lives in Tucson Arizona and works in a bookstore.

"Clancy's Bar" went out of business and the building remains empty.

The "Charcoal Pit" closed and reopened as a sandwich shop.

"Harley's Biker Bar" changed owners three times and is currently an upscale oriental restaurant.

The "Altamont Fair" is still held every year.

Dolly retired and sold the property. A downtown office building now stands in that location.

Dr. Mac died from a heart attack brought on by excessive liquor causing him to crash his car into a plate glass store window.

The "Winter Palace" was remodeled into a studio penthouse apartment. An artist uses the morning sun from the bay window.

The "Miss Albany Diner" went out of business and closed its doors for good.

Terry never returned to the gay scene after going back to her ex husband.

Eva remained unemployed, broke and homeless. She died recently from mal nutrition and round the clock drinking.

Kit is playing bit parts in adult films for a gay porn studio in San Francisco. He has never returned to New York.

Tom took over the ownership of a small construction business and recently his oldest son joined him as an employee. He has 3 children - 2 boys and 1 girl and lives in Massachusetts.

Justin is a landscape architect and works in a nursery landscape business in New York. His carefree days are behind him and he has a lifetime partner.

The End