The Knife That Twists Within

The Knife That Twists Within

by Stefan

Part 11

It was half past seven and bright enough to turn off the light. Nicholas had listened to the news on the radio and the weather forecast which had promised rain again and now waited impatiently for Sebastian's call. Maybe he was still busy doing more exciting things with Kay and had simply forgotten.

He sat down again at the table and emptied his mug of coffee but was too excited to eat. He decided he had got up much too early. It had been a fitful night for both of them; Marcus was very confused and Simon's picture on the wall hadn't helped to calm down the situation. Nicholas sensed for the first time that his lover's mind was far away and not with him and there was little he could do against it.

Nicholas sighed and looked for the 10th time in two minutes at his watch. Then he opened the book beside him. It dealt with the Brotherhood of the Pre-Raphaelites to which Edward Burne-Jones had belonged. He looked into the face of a beautiful woman with long red hair and admired the bright colours. To bad, Rossetti wasn't gay, the men he painted then, would had been wonderful.

The telephone rang in the hall. Nicholas jumped up startled and almost knocked over his mug.

"Yes", he said breathlessly.

"Sweetie?" Kay asked.

"Yes, good news?"

"No, I'm sorry. We waited the whole night until the club was closed, but he didn't show up. But there were several boys who knew him, and told us other places. All gay-clubs."

Nicholas nodded disappointed.

"Sweetie? You still there?"

"Yes, sorry. That's a shame." He saw Marcus coming downstairs, dressed only in his faded jeans and with bare feet. He looked questioningly at him, and Nicholas shook his head. Marcus grimaced and disappeared into the kitchen.

"We didn't like the hangout Nicki, it was a grunge-club and I guess a favourite place for dealer. I only hope Simon isn't into it deep, but then, as long as I can remember, Simon was always in deep shit. The time he and Marcus were together was the only time he seemed to be happy." He interrupted himself. "I'm chattering too much. How's Marcus?"

"Not too good. We had a disturbed night."

"I'm sorry about that. Is he mad with me?"

"No, I don't think so. He worries about Simon."

"Can you get him on the phone? Bastian wants to speak with him. Are you going to the Academy now? Good luck."

"Thanks. For everything."

There was a pause on the line until he heard Sebastian's deep, sexy voice. "Nicki? Still there?"

"Yes."

"Marcus up?"

"I'll call him. Bye, Bastian."

"Nicki," Sebastian shouted into the receiver, "Wait. Is everything ok with you two?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You know why I'm asking."

"It's all ok, Sebastian. Really."

He put the receiver down beside the phone and called Marcus who rushed out of the kitchen and picked up the receiver. Nicholas wanted to go but he held him tight around the waist and pulled him to his chest, pressed his lips on Nicholas' and said then "Yeah, Bastian. What's up?"

Nicholas hands roamed over Marcus' naked, silky skin, down to the round globes of his ass and gave it a light pinch. Involuntary Marcus twitched a bit and grinned. Nicholas gave him a quick kiss and went away.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Hey, otherwise occupied at the moment?" Sebastian teased.

"No, no. Tell me all about it."

"There isn't much to tell. Evil establishment, as Kay would say. But we have some addresses we'll visit in the next days. Perhaps the weekend will be a better time."

"Too bad. Listen, I'm not cross with Kay, tell him that. It hasn't changed anything, if I had know it or not. It's only a bit strange to realize that they both are brothers and I can't quite understand the reason he never told me. I mean I often went to the shop and there have been many possibilities to tell me."

"Yes, I can't understand it either. I guess it was sort of a quirk, so better forget it."

"Is it going to be serious with both of you?"

It was quite on the line for a moment. "Maybe. He's a good boy." Then he snorted. "Jesus, I sound like my own grandfather. He's only three years younger than me!"

Marcus joined in with his laughter. "I'm happy for you. What about Rome? Or do you want to stay here for the summer?"

"Haven't figured it out yet. Kay doesn't want to stop his foolish work because he enjoys it, so ..."

"You have to wait until his holidays? My, if I were you I'd kidnap him and take him away by force!"

"Ha! That's an idea. Must stop now. Call you tomorrow, ok?"

Marcus found Nicholas in the kitchen, still leafing through the book. He embraced him from behind and nibbled at his earlobe. "Like Rossetti?"

"Yes, I wish he'd painted young men though. Have you seen the originals?"

Marcus nodded. "Yes, but they are spread all over, London, Birmingham, Manchester..."

Nicholas leaned his cheek against Marcus'. "I would like to visit your working hall again, meet Johannes."

"Good, I want to go there anyway. Come when you have finished your lession." He stopped. "Oh, I guess, that not a good idea. Where's your timetable? Of course I'll pick you up."

"But no, you don't have to. I can take care of myself."

"Can you?"

Nicholas knew it was meant seriously. "I'm finished at 2 pm. You can pick me up in front of it, ok?" He grabbed Marcus' hand and whispered, "I wish I didn't have to go right now."

"Me, too, angel. But it's good for you, you know."

Nicholas' sighed. Of course he would enjoy the atmosphere of the Academy again, but now... He thought about Frank and the grin at his face. Certainly now that he had managed to join his working group, he wouldn't want to change and make trouble; he had to face it.

Aloud he said, "If you want to drive me I guess it's better you get dressed or do you want to go half naked?"

Marcus grinned. Nicholas watched him go out and his fingers were itching to grab a pen and capture the figure of his lover on paper.

One hour later Nicholas stepped out of the car and entered the red brick building. He found the high working room easily where most of all students had gathered and were unpacking their utensils.

He gave them a slight smile and his face lit up as he saw Ben entering the room. Ben went instantly to him and smiled. "Hi, Nick. How's your hand?"

"Better every day. Have to go to the doc in two days but I guess it will be ok. It's only sprained."

"You should take better care of your hands if you want to become a great artist, my friend. Frank showed me some of your paintings. There are really good."

Nicholas looked amazed. "Did he indeed? They are still there?"

"Yes. In his flat and look, here!" He pointed at the back wall of the room where several sketches and complete paintings were displayed.

But Nicholas didn't see them because the phrase 'in his flat' still reverberated in his ears. He shot a sharp glance at Ben's innocent face. The thick, black hair was combed from his forehead. A thin, dark ribbon held it at his neck and his black glass framed spectacles suited him very well. He could easily imagine that Frank was after him.

"Are you dreaming?" Ben's voice brought him back to reality.

"Yes, I see, they are still hanging there. I'm only surprised after such a long time." He turned to face Ben. "You were at his flat?"

"But yes. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing", he said shortly. "Have a got a girlfriend?"

"Huh?" Ben's ears reddened briefly and Nicholas bite his tongue. What a jerk! he thought. Now it must be obvious for Ben that he - Nick - was interested in him. So he tried a harmless smile and added "I mean, if you are interested, I have a friend who has lately broken with her boyfriend, so I thought it could be a good idea to meet after school or at the weekend, what do you think?" Nicholas wondered about himself how easily these lies came to his lips.

"Um, well," Ben struggled for words. Nicholas patted his shoulder.

"Think about it, you don't have to."

Frank entered the room in his usual stark white smock. He looked around, and beckoned Nicholas to him. As all went quiet he said, "I want to introduce a new student. Nicholas has attended this working group already but broke up because of ... family problems some month ago. Now he will be continuing where he stopped. And," he gave Nicholas a very bright smile, "I'm happy about it, kids. If you turn round you can see some of his work on the wall."

All heads turned as if on a secret command and then back to the slightly embarrassed young lad. Frank had put his arm around his shoulder and the touch was burning like fire through his T-Shirt. He croaked a "Hi" to the students and tottered weakly to a free place next to Ben.

"Until now we have learnt to know water colour in its purest form. But today we are going to start with gouache colour, it's a mixture of covering and also white pigments."

Frank's voice scarcely reached Nicholas' ears. He was aware of Ben's closeness and his thoughts raced through his mind. What could it mean, that Ben had obviously visited Frank at home. Was he another 'best student' Frank picked out to show around his paintings? Or was there more behind it?

"Gouache is more thicker than the transparent watercolour and has a high degree of saturation. A big advantage is the possibility to achieving every form of colouring with an addition of white and to paint with gouache like with oil paint; covering other colours which is of course impossible with water colours."

He watched Ben's profile from aside. He had taken off his glasses, twisting the ear pieces between two fingers and seemed all ears. To ask him about a girlfriend was a very weak idea Nicholas thought, and a stupid one, too. He looked at Frank, polite and likeable as ever, standing in front of the students who gave his lectures relaxed and casually and apparently without any effort. Now and again his look met Nicholas and then he could see how a spark twinkled in his eyes.

Nicholas' anger grew. Frank's touch on his shoulder seemed to have burnt into his flesh and he wondered, if anybody else around here was able to look behind Frank's mask. Outwardly he was always the good friendly, comradely teacher, but were was the other being Nicholas had certainly experienced.

He tried to concentrate at Frank words but failed most of the time. All he could do was listen anyway, but as the students opened their colour- and brush boxes he watched Ben intensily at his first attempts to mix two colours together and then three as Frank suggested. Together with Ben he looked at the result and found it good and almost as it was instructed. Ben smiled at him.

"I'll make two of these attempts, one is for you to have a look at home, ok?"

Nicholas smiled back. "Thanks. Would be very useful for me."

He still looked at Ben who had put on his glasses again and met his gaze. "Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"No. It's ... I'm trying to figure out..." He bit his lower lip. "How well do you know Frank?"

"Oh, he gives me private lessons because he thinks I'm good enough to."

Nicholas nodded.

"Problems?" he heard Frank's voice behind his back. Without turning he said a short "no".

"Have you bought everything you need?"

"Not yet."

Nicholas wished he would go away and leave him alone, but he felt the heat his body was radiating behind him. But then Frank bent down to Ben and whispered "I have to speak with you, can you come to the office during the break?" Ben nodded pleased.

It wasn't difficult for Nicholas to find his way again in the large canteen, there had nothing changed and it resembled the one in his shopping centre. The same smells, the same noise. With his plate he searched for a free seat and recognized some of his class and sat with them. Actually he wanted to speak to Ben but he was nowhere to be seen, so he sighingly dived into his soup.

"Why did you break up your studies?" Nicholas looked into the face of a sturdy, short lad with curious pale green eyes.

"Family problems. But they are solved now."

Unsatisfied with the answer the young man persisted. "I saw you in the news paper."

Nicholas choked, the soup going the wrong way and suppressed a cough.

"News paper?" he managed to say then.

"Yeah, together with Weidenbruch. The next day the press commented, that there was a fire the following night."

"Yes!" a girl joined in. "You were standing in front of your painting, some yellow-haired lad. Was it burnt?"

"No. It was sold and we had taken it into another hall with the other sold ones."

Nicholas felt slighgly uncomfortably.

"Everybody know's that Weidenbruch is a fairy." The pale green eyes were staring at him.

"Oh yes." said Nicholas.

"By the way, my name is Karl-Heinz but everybody calls me Kalle."

Suddenly he smiled and stretched out his stout hand across the table. Nicholas grabbed and squeezed it.

"Welcome to the club."

"Which club?" another voice piped up, "the fairy-club?"

Kalle shot a sinister look to the end of the table where a large, thin young man with very thin brown hair was sitting.

"Shut up, stupid. Everybody knows that you are only here because your old man is supporting the Academy." He turned again to Nicholas. "His uncle works in the ministry for culture." Kalle winked at Nicholas. "His name is Walter-Udo," he whispered "but he prefers us to call him 'Walt' because he's mad about Walt Disney films."

Nicholas grinned. In the doorway he saw Ben entering the canteen and he tried to attract his attention. Ben saw him and came over to the table.

"Another one of the fairies", Nicholas heard 'Walt' muttering under his breath but decided to ignore it. But his heartbeat quickened. So his intuition had been right and he sighed inwardly.

"Hey, Benny, got some more of those private lessons from Frank?" Walt shouted.

"I told you already to shut up you homophobic asshole" Kalle shouted back. But Ben smiled. "It's ok, Kalle. I can stand up for myself. Just ignore it."

He gave a glance at Nicholas and said in a low voice "I saw you with Marcus Weidenbruch. You're on our side?"

Nicholas nodded and Ben's face lit up. "Great. Now I'm not alone any more." With his head he gestured at Walt sitting there and seeming to rule the whole table. "He's like a sponger, a drone, only because his uncle provides his place although he can paint like a mole."

"And Frank? How he can tolerate this?"

Ben shrugged his shoulders. "The Academy gets extra money from the Ministry of Culture because his uncle is rather a big shot there."

"Yeah, Kalle told me that. But does it make sense?"

"Not at all. Have seen his paintings? Terrible!"

Ben was slurping his soup.

"Sorry about the girlfriend this morning," Nicholas said after a while.

Ben smiled a very heart-warming smile. "It's ok. But tell me, what's this Marcus Weidenbruch like in private? Um, I'm just curious, you don't have to tell me."

"All right, Ben. What do you want to hear?"

Ben grinned. "Anything you want to give away."

Nicholas looked around and whispered, "'I'm his newest conquest' to quote the yellow press."

Ben laughed and spilled some soup onto the table. "Congratulations! He's a very handsome man."

"He is, indeed." Nicholas eyes sparkled. "May I also ask you a question?"

"Please, do."

"Are you Frank's newest conquest?"

Ben gave him an amazed look. "How do you know?"

"I have eyes to see."

"Ah, well, I don't know."

"But you know that Frank is gay."

"Yes. It's well-known."

Nicholas was relieved to a certain extend. It meant that nothing had happened between them. For now. But then, maybe the incident with Nick could have been a slip in Frank's behaviour because he was very keen on himself - Nick - and it didn't have to happen twice. Nicholas shook his head. Rubbish. Look into Frank's eyes and see his nasty grin there you have the answer. It was not a slip. But how could he prevent Ben having the same experience?

Shortly before 2 pm he and his colleagues left the Academy and Nicholas looked forward to the following day. He certainly liked Ben and Kalle and hoped he could make some new friends. Then he saw the familiar sight of Marcus' Mercedes waiting at the curb, went straight to it and slipped inside. Marcus had dropped off to sleep and for a brief moment Nick marvelled at his relaxed face. Then he gave him a light kiss at his cheek and Marcus opened his eyes.

"Hi lover. So the night was that bad?"

Marcus smiled. "Seemed so. But nothing to do with you." He pulled him closer and kissed his lips. "How was your day?"

"Good. I told you I met a guy named Ben."

"Yes?"

Marcus started the motor.

"He's gay too."

"Ah! The guy with the not very blue eyes, you told me about. And? Have you fallen in love with him right from the start?"

Nicholas poked him into his rips. "Monster. I rather fear that he has fallen in love with Frank."

Marcus raised his eyebrows. "That's a problem indeed. And what are you going to do? Tell him what a shithead Frank is?"

"I have no clue what to do."

"It's not your problem, honey. He must figure it out for himself. All advise from you would be useless and unwelcome, believe me."

"But I can't just stand aside and watch him running into his own mishap."

Marcus sighed. "Oh, man. You aren't Mother Theresa. Watch him and if it gets too intense you can take steps. Ok?"

"He has already been at his flat."

"Has he? One more reason to watch out."

They arrived at the work shop and a few minutes later, Nicholas was greeting Johannes again. He seemed to be genuinely pleased to see him.

"Look what we have done, Nick." He pointed to the marble bust of Trajan. "I gathered together every little splinter from the ground I could find. Some pieces are missing, but I can repair it with gypsum."

Nicholas was amazed. The bust looked like a new one. "Now he's repaired twice, I only can hope this time it was the last." His eyes were laughing behind the round glasses he had shoved to the tip of his nose.

"You are a magician, Johannes! But the bronze sculptures are lost, aren't they?"

"Yes. Unfortunately. But there are still the moulds and can be found again."

Nicholas nodded. "And what's this?"

"This", Marcus said mysteriously, "is the most precious thing we have ever had here. It came this morning from Venice. Sort of a late Christmas present from Sebastian. He finally managed to get it."

Nicholas looked at another marble bust which showed the face of a young man. An almost perfect, young face with a long, straight nose and vulnerable, somewhat empty facial expression. And with a pair of lips, Nicholas would gladly kiss. Very cautiously he stretched out a finger and touched gently the cool surface of cheeks, lips and nose, along the small chin and back.

"It's a young Augustus."

"THE Augustus?"

Marcus nodded. "It was thought for a long, long time as antique, but then it was identified as a work from Antonio Canova's workshop. The Correr Museum in Venice wanted to sell it by auction and Sebastian got it. At the highest price. He didn't tell me and I was very happy about the surprise." His eyes sparkled and infected Nicholas' as well as Johannes'.

"But why is it here? It's perfect and doesn't need any repairs surely?"

"No, it's perfect. We'll take it home with us."

Nicholas marvelled again at the fine and delicate feature of the bust.

"Do you think this is really Augustus?"

"It could be easily," Johannes said. "All sculptures of the emperor have a strong similarity to this bust. All with the same vulnerability expression on a small face. And that this isn't an original doesn't lessen it's beauty. After all it could be an original by Canova."

"In the 18th century a forger made a marble head of Julius Caesar," Marcus said, "who was bought by the British Museum in London in 1818. They believed it was genuine."

"Indeed?" Nicholas remembered the spider brooch of Marie-Antoinette.

"Oh, before I forget it," Johannes said, "Sebastian called and asked me to tell you that he's out again tonight. He said you'd know what he meant."

Marcus nodded. "Thanks. Now, honey. Get us out of here. I'm hungry."

But Nicholas was standing absorbed in front of Michelangelo's drawing of the young men or young women. Who knew exactly? The only thing he would ever know was that this face was the most wonderful he would ever see. Marcus stepped to him and clasped his hand. "You love it, don't you?"

Nicholas nodded.

"Want to take it home?"

"No, no. Others want to have a look at it too, I guess." He smiled at Johannes and he winked.

"Now, let's see what good old Anna has cooked for us." Marcus opened the fridge and pulled out a casserole and a pot. As he opened it Nicholas turned up his nose. "Cabbage-rolls! I hate them and she knows it."

Marcus lifted the sheet laying on the table and read

"Mr. Sebastian called. The potatoes are already peeled and need to be cooked. Twenty minutes on a low flame. Then pour out the water and set the pot again on the gas to get rid of the water. Love, Anna."

Marcus moaned. "How many times has she told me this!" He looked at Nicholas. "How old I am actually? Ten?"

He screwed up the sheet and threw it into the trash bin. Nicholas laughed. "Do you really want to eat that? I have a better idea. We'll make fried potatoes and some Prague sausages."

"Prague sausages? What's that?"

Nicholas pulled out Frankfurter's, parted them and cut them with a knife crosswise at the ends. Then he put them into a hot pan. "You'll see soon. In the meantime you can cut the potatoes in slices."

"Aye, chef." Marcus was amused how Nicholas had changed since their first meeting. It was only a short time when he thought about it, but it was amazing. Instead of cutting the potatoes he embraced Nicholas tightly from behind. "You really are a darling", he whispered.

"Can you say that again?" Nicholas struggled free and turned.

Marcus grinned. "Watch out for the sausages."

"I would rather watch a different sausage."

Marcus burst out in laughter. "Later, honey. Otherwise I'll collapse off the stool with hunger. Hey, look."

The sausages had opened like a rose at the carved ends.

"Looks good."

"True. Now get your hands busy if you want to have some fried potatoes."