I would like to thank all of you who wrote me. Your letters are a great encouragement. Thanks a lot for it.
The Knife That Twists Within ----------------------------
Part 4
As Nicholas left the stuffy personnel department where he had given notice, he draw a deep breath. He was now a free man and felt it in every pore of his body. A heavy burden seemed to fell from his heart. He tugged on his woollen scarf. The personnel manager had eyed him peculiarly and had asked the reasons for his sudden resignation, but Nicholas had only given evasive answers.
Slowly he went along the linoleum floored corridor, where the fluorescent lights flickered above him. He pressed the button for the lift and stepped out in the lamps department. Actually he had never felt happy in these shopping centres. He felt them to be gigantic cubes where the daylight had been squeezed out - like being inside an aquarium.
While he passed the white shelves loaded with bulbs and switches on display, the pale green worn carpets subdued his footsteps to a barely audible shuffle, but it seemed to him as if he was floating over the surface.
The department was almost empty and Matthias was nowhere to be seen. Nicholas looked at his cheap watch and noticed that the strap was almost split. At the same moment he felt a tap on his shoulder, spun around and looked into Matthias' grinning face.
"You did it?" he asked.
"Yes!" Nicholas grinned. "Just now."
Matthias looked closely at his friend. Not only was his face smiling, but there was a glow which seemed to seep out from his inner being.
"And they let you go so easily?"
Nicholas nodded. "My contract was only temporary in any case. And now," he gripped his friend by both shoulders, "I am free like a bumblebee on a clover field."
"Hm! I bet you'll soon be dying of boredom! Every day sleeping till noon, eh?"
Nick grinned. "At the moment I don't care at all! Although", his grin faded a little, "I'll have no money and my life will be completely at the whim of another man!"
"Pah!" Matthias punched him gently in the stomach, "I wouldn't waste a single thought on it, buddy. It'll work out, you'll see. He has enough money to give you everything you want. And from what you told me, he's eager to do it! I'm right aren't I?"
"Man!" Nick exclaimed, "it's so easy for you, eh? Now when are we going to meet tomorrow?"
"8 pm in front of the 'Moonbreaker'. Don't be late. And," he narrowed his eyes, "Some day I'd like to meet this Marcus, OK?"
"Yeah, we'll see. He's waiting for me in his car outside."
"Well, then go, don't keep him waiting. I'm looking forward to tomorrow."
He watched how the tall, slender young man walked towards the escalators. It seemed him as if his feet were floating three centimetres above the ground.
Three minutes later Nicholas stepped cheerfully into Marcus' waiting black Mercedes and asked good-humouredly, "Now, where are you going to run away with me to?"
"Have you ever been to the "Galeries Lafayette?""
"Of course I have. But haven't ever bought anything."
"I can understand that," smiled Marcus.
They crossed the crowded streets leading to the avenue Unter den Linden. On the corner stood the huge dome of the big neo-baroque cathedral. Its golden crosses glistened in the beams of the setting sun, and its mirror image was reflected in the brownish toned window glass of the Republic Palace standing exactly opposite; a magnetic attraction for countless tourists. Nicholas noticed the sharp colours this building now was divided into; it made a completely different impression to the painting he had once done and which now hung in his room, and he liked it. It was a pity that he wasn't able to draw at dusk, but perhaps he could make a picture of it some day.
"Hey, how do you like the cathedral in this light?" he heard Marcus vivacious voice. He looked astonished at the man by his side.
"You're reading my thoughts!"
Marcus nooded and said "I like your painting of it, have I told you that already?"
"No, you didn't."
Marcus pretended to look worried. Then he shook his head. "Apparently I'm becoming a feeble old man!"
Nicholas laughed out loud.
"Look over there", Marcus said then. They were passing the open square in front of the Old Museum, built in the style of a Greek temple with a large granite bowl standing in front of the steps.
"About time they did the place up, I'd say. Some little trees, flower beds, a fountain perhaps, would be nice, what do you think?"
"Since when have you been interested in flower beds? Hey, look where you're going! Do you want to kill us?"
Marcus grinned his infectious grin and stroked Nick's upper thigh. He grabbed hold of his hand and played with his fingers. "Never," he murmured.
They had to stop at the traffic lights and Marcus looked at the footpath flanked by two rows of leafless lime trees, past the bronze equestrian statue of the Prussian king Frederick II to the pseudo Greek architecture of the State Opera House. A large banner flapped in the blowing wind. "Antigone," he read. "Ever been in there?"
"Where?"
"To the opera. Have you ever been in there?"
"No."
"Never saw an opera?"
Nicholas shook his head.
"Would you like to?"
"Don't know, isn't it boring?"
Marcus laughed, "Depends." He sighed then. "What traffic. Actually I hate driving, especially in the city." He watched the people rushing through the slush, all laden down with bags and parcels. Christmas illuminations still blinked in the shop windows. In the distance he could see the Brandenburg Gate.
"Haven't you got your driver's licence?"
"No."
"No?"
"Couldn't afford it."
Marcus was slightly surprised. He knew that Nick owned no car but was sure he must be able to drive. He had never realized that they are people living in a complete different world. A poor world in his opinion. He cursed himself secretly. You are a snob, Marcus, he thought. Stop acting as if the world was filled only with rich people. You must have lived on the moon, my friend.
The traffic light changed to green and Marcus turned left into the gorge of the Friedrichstrasse, passed the pretentious building of the Grand Hotel and the recently finished French Quarters with their shops and cafes.
"Do you like the new look of the street?" Marcus referred to the completely new buildings which stretched high into the now dark sky.
"A bit choking I would say, but interesting."
They drove slowly past the new big bookshop, beside brand-new cars which waited for customers in another shop.
"Yeah, interesting, that's what I feel too," said Marcus, "and exciting at the same time. The air is different here, Nick. Can you smell it? It smells like money."
"Not yet", grinned Nicholas.
The high ashlars of the Quarters 205 and 206 were lit up with long bands of light and nearby appeared the semi-circular glass building of the huge French shopping centre "Lafayette". A facade of black glass windows stretched around one corner and along the other side of the street. People rushed in and out, mostly tourists with cameras and paperbags with the "Lafayette" brand on them.
Marcus parked in a side street and both man stepped out. Nicholas sniffed. "Can't smell anything but petrol!"
"Oh, come on, there's the smell of richness certainly in the air. Think of all the money spent and earned here. See them?" He pointed to a pair of elderly men wearing black coats and carrying briefcases.
"They'll be having their dinner in 'Planet Hollywood'."
Nicholas laughed. "'Planet Hollywood'? Do you think Schwarzenegger will be there?"
Marcus turned to face the lad. "You are keen on Arni Schwarzenegger?" He grabbed Nicholas be the arm. "Let's go. Maybe you are interested in oysters?"
Nicholas had only once been in the shopping centre but it struck him in the same way as the first time. They both left behind the scarves and handbags and went straight to the huge glass cone built into the middle of the round building and stretching from the upper floor to the ground. Nicholas stood there for a while, his hands clutching firmly to the railing. Marcus rummaged in a disinterested way amongst the displayed bowls of expensive wallets until Nicholas returned. He smiled thinly.
"Can't stand the view, I get sick when I look down. Come on now."
"Funny, somehow the whole place seemed to me somewhat neglected," Marcus remarked as they stood in front of the displays made of light pine wood and examined the products.
"Neglected?" echoed Nick. To him the departments in the Galeries Lafayette still possessed an air of exclusivity. Warm light filled the broad passages which turned in a circle around the big cone and in the air hung a fresh scent. He didn't feel observed, like in some other shops, where one could barely stand without being asked by a too friendly sales clerk what one wanted.
Marcus looked over the slim boxes of underwear and searched for the suitable size.
"Yes, it's the opposite to the original house in Paris but here's even something for the cleaning woman from next door."
Nicholas looked at the tiny price label on the boxes. "You really mean your cleaning woman would buy underwear by Calvin Klein for herself?"
Marcus laughed, "By no means, my heart, he only manufactures for men."
"Wrong. Lately he created a women's underwear collection. Don't be such a snob. Is it cleaning woman not allowed to wear something chic, too?"
Marcus tucked a few boxes under his arm and shoved Nick the direction of the vests. He touched the soft, elastic cotton fabric and took some of them with him. Nicholas trotted beside him.
Suddenly Marcus stopped in the middle of the passage and looked remorseful.
"I'm sorry, baby. You're right, I am a snob. I vow an improvement, promise."
A few steps later he examined some trousers, carefully lined up on hangers with matching, comfortable jackets and shirts. He picked out a combination in light grey and held them momentarily in front of Nicholas' body.
"Come, take this for now and go into the cubicle. I'll come in soon after." He pointed to a row of concealed cubicules which were provided with wooden doors.
Nicholas hung the suit on the hook and sat down upon the upholstered stool. Suspiciously he eyed the jacket and his slide over the material. The fabric felt wunderful. Then he searched for the price label and it took his breath away. This was the half of his monthly income.
The door swung open and Marcus entered the spacious cubicule with an armful of T-Shirts and yet another suit.
"Shall I put this on?"
"Come on, don't pull such a long face, do me favour, yes? Afterwards we'll go down to the really expensive shops. And," he lifted Nicholas face, "I like the view of your naked body." He kissed his lips and helped him off with his anorak. "You'll certainly need a warm coat and a thick winter anorak. And shoes."
Nicholas sighed.
"No arguments!"
Nicholas stood and began to undress.
"This will cost a fortune!"
"So what? Well, it's a good investment."
He watched Nicholas slipped out of his jeans and held out the trouser of the suit. Nicholas put it on and enjoyed the soft fabric on his skin.
"Fits. This is made from the best worsted with a bit of elastic to keep its shape." Marcus grinned. "Slip on the jacket."
Nick peered into the mirrow and saw a completely changed young man and his mood improved abruptly. He sensed Marcus behind him and their gazes met in the mirror. Marcus eyes gleamed. "The emperor's new clothes." He embraced Nicholas from behind, opened the belt and unzipped the trousers. His hand slipped into his pants and stroked Nicholas' warm meat.
"Are you crazy Marcus? Stop it", but then little moans escaped from his throat. The trousers felt to the ground and Marcus stroked still Nicholas' growing erection. "If somebody comes and catch us...", Nicholas whispered huskily.
"Ssht, nobody will come." With his palm he clasped him firmly around the balls and stroked the shaft up and down with the other. Nicholas tried to suppress his moans, and didn't quite succeed.
Marcus watched the young lad's face in the mirror soon reaching the stage of blissfulness until he felt Nicholas' body spasm and a big surge of white semen flodded into his palm. Some drops soiled Nicholas' shirt. He caught Nicholas, whose shaking legs threatened to give way.
"You are definitively crazy."
Marcus chuckled and chewed on his earlobe. "Are you ok?" he murmured. Nicholas nodded.
"What do you think about the suit? Do you like it?"
"Yes."
"Ok, then try the other things."
A half hour later they where on the escalators again, laden with bags, going downwards to the ground floor and entering a large passage full of groups of tourists. They passed slowly the shops full of antique furniture, a large shop who sold artificial flowers until they reached an atrium with a marvellous marble ground made up of black and white squares. A flight of steps led up to the second floor.
Marcus stopped in front of an elegant shop. Nicholas peered through the window into a white, almost empty room filled with precisely arranged clothes. "You don't want me to go in here, do you?"
Marcus nodded determined.
"No, Marcus, you will never get me into such a place, it's Cerruti!"
"So?" Marcus asked in a mocking voice. "Let's go in."
They had barely looked through the expensive pullovers and shirts when a sales clerk silently appeared out of nowhere. "Mr. Weidenbruch," he said, "how nice to see you again."
The young man was dressed in loose black trousers and a tight fitting white T-shirt. He wore an earring and his short hair was bleached. He raised a quizzical eyebrow to Nicholas.
"We need coats, anoraks, shoes and other pretty things you have to offer."
"Of course, Sir." He looked Nicholas up and down. "Same size as you or a size smaller?"
"One smaller."
Nicholas wanted to vanish from the face of the earth, but the young sales clerk turned out to be a very cheerful, polite lad and after some time Nicholas started relax and enjoy the attention. And in the end he didn't care at all about the bill Marcus had to pay.
"Now, was it that bad?" Marcus asked while they sat in the little restaurant on the ground floor, eating a crusty baguette and cheese and drinking white wine. Nichoals smiled and shook his head. "No. Could have been worse."
He looked over the little round tables, filled with people having a lunch, over to the large counter where fish was sold. "Didn't you promise me oysters?"
Marcus choked on his mouthful of wine and coughed. "Oysters? Well, if you really want to try.... I hate this slithery little monsters." He wiped his mouth. "Go ahead!"
The fish stand was filled with all sorts of sea food buried in ice he could imagine, some of them had names he had never heard.
"You must put lemon juice, salt and pepper on them." said Marcus as he returned with a silver plate with six oysters. Nicholas looked at the slippery white and yellow content of the oysters, did as Marcus told him and chewed at the jelly-like flesh. It had a fine, pleasant taste he found and his face lit up.
"You really like them?" asked Marcus in disbelief. Nicholas swallowed.
"Yes. I can't understand why you don't!"
Marcus shook his head. "But no more than six, my boy. Otherwise you'll land up in hospital."
"Why?"
"Protein shock."
"Oh."
Marcus looked thoughtfully at the chewing young man. "Simon liked them as much as you like them. He liked all exclusive food, but I guess it was rather because the habit belongs to the so-called upper class."
"I guess if I saved money for some years, I could also afford a tin of genuine caviar too."
Marcus smiled. "You are right. It's simply arrogance."
Nick had finished the last oyster. "And when do you offer me champagne?"
"Champagne? You could have bought some."
"It was only a joke. I don't really care for it."
He watched an old woman sitting alone at a table, eating from a steaming plate. Beside her lay several bags and a baguette, cut into two pieces, peered out of one. "Can we buy one of those?" He pointed to the woman with the bags.
"Of course. There are some delicious little black puddings, which we can also buy. I guarantee you'll like it."
Nicholas nodded. After a while he asked, "Who is Simon? When did you meet eachother?"
"He's the son of an old business partner. Rich family."
"And he lived with you for how long?"
"We lived for over a year together."
"So long!"
"Long? I don't think that's all that long."
"Longer than a usual affair."
Marcus looked into his eyes. "How long did your last relationship last?"
"Relationship? I've never had what you would call a relationship."
"But there were other men before me, you told me before. Who were they?"
"A guy from school and another I met in a disco. We met a few times but then we lost touch with each other."
The restaurant gradually emptied. Marcus looked at his watch and saw it was 7:30 pm already. Time to leave.
"What's the matter with your watch, honey. I noticed while you where changing clothes that the straps loose and you'll lose it soon if you're not careful. I should had tought about it before. Shall we go and buy another?"
"Now?" Nicholas didn't like the idea. He wasn't so poor that he couldn't afford to buy a new strap or watch by himself. He shook his head. "You've done enough, Marcus. I don't want anything more. Well, only one thing," an impish grin graced his mouth, "a warm bed to cuddle up to you in."
"Then, let's go!"
Marcus had removed one half of his large wardrobe for Nicholas' new clothes. He hung them carefully in a line and piled up his new pullovers, shirts and underwear. There was one small box left at the bottom of one bag, which he didn't recognize. He pulled it out, opened and looked in amazement at a tiny black pair of pants whose front part was made of some translucent material. He turned it in his hand and then burst out with laughter.
"What's funny?" Marcus shouted from the bathroom.
Nicholas didn't answer. Two minutes later he appeared at the bathroom door, watched silently how Marcus cleaned his teeth until he turned.
He let his toothbrush fall as he looked at a very naked Nicholas dressed only in the tiny black see-through jock strap which left his ass cheeks uncovered and veiled his cock and balls with a delicate black shadow.
"What's this?" Marcus rinsed and wiped his mouth.
"Someone hid this in one of the bags."
"Really? Which bag?"
"Which bag?" Nicholas frowned. "I thought it was you?"
"Me? It's a very nice idea but it wasn't me. I swear."
He approached Nicholas and let run his fingers over Nicholas' skin until he reached the strap and slid his fingers over his covered penis.
"Too pretty to undress. You're looking charming."
"Yeah? And when will you paint me? To complete your collection."
Marcus looked bewildered, then he laughed and slid his palms over Nicholas' firm ass cheeks. "Soon, baby, soon."
He pushed him through the door frame into the bedroom where he fell with him onto the bed. He began to kiss Nicholas' neck and collarbone until he exclaimed, "Was it one of the Cerruti-bags?"
"What?" Nicholas panted.
"Kay. It can only be Kay who could have put this thing in."
He let his cock glide over Nicholas' crotch.
"Baby, I think you made a conquest!"
Nicholas was dumbfounded.
"What conquest? Kay? The sales clerk? You mean he could have given me such an expensive gift for nothing?"
"Wasn't there a note inside?"
Nicholas shook his head. "I'm not sure", he added. "Maybe still in the bag? Let me see." He wriggled out from under Marcus firm body.
"Stay put, you can have a look later." He grinned impudently and continued to kiss Nicholas' chest until he gave up the fight and began to melt because of Marcus' closeness.
Deep in the night Nicholas sneaked into the wardrobe and searched in the bag for a note, but there wasn't any. Feeling a bit confused he sat back on his heels and thought about the blond young man with the earring. Why he had done this? To meet him again? Nicholas nodded. Certainly. The guy wanted to meet him. Nicholas grinned weakly. Out of question, he thought. And besides, he was not his type, too many similarities to Frank, and after all...
He crept to the bedroom again, back into Marcus' sleeping arms.
"It's already 7:15, honey, you'll be late!" Nicholas looked at his watch. "Shit! I will be really late. Can you give me a lift?" "Sure." Nicholas stood in the wardrobe and chose a black, short sleeved T-Shirt. He put in on and stuffed it into his new white jeans. Then he slipped into his new black boots and rushed into the bathroom. "Wow! You're looking good!" Marcus said, "come here." He opened a little tube and poured out a tiny drop of jelly. He rubbed it between his palms and ran his fingers through Nicholas' hair. "Now you're looking really cool. You'll break the hearts of all the men!" Nicholas laughed, "All the men, eh? It's not a gay party, you know!" He looked Marcus up and down. "What do you look like?" Marcus wore a pair of light brown suede leather trousers with a dark red sash around his waist and a very loose white silk shirt without a collar which was open almost to his belly button. His hair competed with the lamplight. He grabbed a little black mask and pulled it over his eyes. Then he posed and threw back his head. "Voila! Don Juan!" "Don Juan? The lady-killer? Since when have you been after women?" "Didn't you know that Don Juan seduced thousends of young men?" Nicholas laughed, "No! But you're looking very sexy. I thought this would be only a nice New Years Evening party, but it looks like a fancy-dress ball!" "It's a silly game we do every year. Now, let's go. When will you return home?" Nicholas shrugged his shoulders. Marcus was suddenly serious. "Watch yourself, promise me this?" "Sure. But what can happen? Matthias is with me." A half hour later Marcus stopped his car in front of the "Moonbreaker Club". He peered through the window and saw a crowd of young people heading for a gateway which leds to a second yard. A bright yellow half moon hung above the entrance. "Look, Matthias is waiting already." Nicholas slipped out of the car and Marcus did the same. He reached the small group standing in the freezing cold of the night. "Hi Matthias, this is Marcus." Marcus grinned. "Ladies first." He shook Tina's hand and then Matthias'. "I've heard a lot about you. Have fun, and don't get drunk, honey." "All right, daddy." Nicholas got a slap on his buttocks, then Marcus nodded good bye to the others, stepped into his car and drove away. "Wow", exclaimed Tina, "what a man." She looked at Nicholas. "Want to share him with me?" Tina got a poke from Matthias then he turned to Nicholas, "Women", he sighed, but Nicholas saw a suppressed grin. "He's looking great!" "That's what I said", added Tina. "Now let's go in, it's cold." The "Moonbreaker" was overcrowded and greeted the little group with a breathtaking blast of hot air and an ear splitting background noise. All three got their stamp on their palms which indicated that they had already paid. Tina's carrot red hair glittered. She had squeezed into her shortest skirt and strutted along into the hall. The dance floor was full of dancers; their sweaty bodies were flooded with flashing coloured light. The air was full of stamping rhythms; unmelodious and irritating. Nicholas' heartbeat quickened. Instinctively he grabbed for Matthias' arm. Matthias turned around, "All ok with you?" Nicholas nodded, but his knees felt a little weak. The noise was unbearable to him. "Come, we go to the bar. It's over there on the other side and a bit quieter." "Two beers and a Bloody Mary, please", Matthias ordered. The noisy music was less to be heard here. They leaned against the wall and watched the dancing, contorted bodies. Tina rocked up and down to the rhythm whith her high heeled shoes and sipped from the red drink. "It's only the warmth in here, Nick. A few minutes and you got used to it", she said having to shout above the noise. Nicholas nodded weakly. Abruptly the roaring drums and low, distorted computer voices stopped and the Discjockey high above the dancer's heads, screamed something unintelligible. The music changed into Popmusic of the 70s years - much more pleasant to Nick's his mistreated ears. He took a gulp from his cold beer and felt himself gradually relaxing. "Nicholas, if I remember right?" Nicholas looked startled over his shoulder to the bar and a young, grinning man with dark, piercing eyes and bleached blond hair. He recognised him immediately as the sales clerk from Cerruti's and his face lit up. "Kay? What are you doing here?" "I'm here every weekend behind the bar and if it's going to be busy like today." "You of all people!" Kay nodded. "I live nearby." Nicholas grinned. "Does Cerruti pay that bad?" "Nonsense, I just enjoy being with people." He leaned over and said familiarly, "You're looking really hot in those new clothes. But I guess Cerruti is a bit overdressed for this establishment." Nick noticed a little old scar on his right cheekbone. The golden ring gleamed in the dimmed light. "It was you, right?" "What was me?" "The little parcel in one of the bags." Kay grinned again and revealed a little gab between his front teeth. "You like them? Are you wearing them?" "Yes, no. In order of your questions." He took another gulp and eyed Kay coolly. "Do you always buy things for a guy you like in this way?" "Yes! It's sort of a quirk." Kay laughed cheerfully and Nicholas couldn't be mad with him. "Do you like it here?" Nick grimaced. "Not especially. Too many people." "Well it's New Years Evening after all. Hold on a minute; I'll be right back." He rushed off to serve the orders of other people and joked with the second barkeeper. Nick stared at his little ass on which his black jeans clung seductively. On one of his upperarm he noticed a tattoo. "Who's that?" Matthias asked and put back his empty glass on the bar. "A sales clerk I met yesterday at our shopping spree." "Ah! Do you fancy him?" "Actually no. But he's nice." Matthias nodded seriously. "You would be the biggest fool on earth to let Marcus go." Nicholas nodded. "I know, buddy." "Want another beer?" Kay had come back and looked now quizzically at Nicholas. "Don't you dance? Your friends are already enjoying themselves." Nicholas shrugged. "Don't know. I'm not feeling all that relaxed in these surroundings." Longingly he thought about the silence in Marcus' house and the comfort of his arms. He sighed and wished he would be with him right now. Kay passed him the glass of beer. "Want something to lighten your mood?" "Huh?" "For your mood. A little 'lightener'. Free for my friends." "Ecstasy?" Kay nodded. "Had one before? Want to try?" The mind-deadening beat of the techno-roaring sat in again. Long laser fingers grabbed for the dancers, changing into white pulsating light which hurt his eyes and made him almost lose his mind. He turned towards the bar again. "Yes, I'll give it a go. Maybe this noise will sound better then." "It will sweetie." He dropped a little pink pill into Nicholas' palm. "In twenty minutes tops you'll feel much better." Nick swallowed it without hesitation and chased it with some gulps of beer. He saw Matthias waving from the dance floor. "Have you known Marcus Weidenbruch for a long time?" Kay asked. "No. Not a long time." Nicholas glanced at Kay's face. "Did he ever come into the shop with another lad?" "Another lad?" Kay asked. "Yes, brown curly hair and merry eyes." Kay shook his head. "No. He always came alone." His face was suddenly reserved and he avoided Nicholas' gaze. Nicholas' had a peculiar feeling all of a sudden and he eyed the blond guy. "Would you try to find him for me? His name is Simon." "How do you mean - find?" Kay seemed to be dismayed. "You mean you want me to ask everybody around? Why?" "Because I want to speak to him, it's very important. You know a lot of people I suppose." "Hm. Do you have a photo?" "No." Something came to his mind. "But I could bring you one." He looked pleading at Kay. "Would you do this for me?" The other man grinned "I would do almost anything for you." "Would you?" A heavy breathing Matthias arrived at his side pulling Tina behind him. "Come on Nick, don't be such a spoilsport, it's fun outside. Give me another beer, please. And a glass of water." After the next few gulps of Nick's beer something kicked in. The Laserlight got brighter, changing the sweating mass of faces around him to coloured grimaces, lit up with scary effects and suddenly everything seemed to stand still - or to be retarded - frozen in their movements and Nicholas felt the urge to set it into movement again. Restlessly he jigged his feet and stepped from one leg to the other then disappeared suddenly between the people on the dancefloor. Matthias and Tina looked after him in amazement. "May I have a whisky?" The lights reflected in the glasses of an older man with grey hair at his temples. "Water?" "No." While Kay poured the amber liquid into a glass he wondered if the man had lost his way. "You're looking for someone?" The man shook his head and drank in silence. The next time Kay looked, the man was gone, the money laid on the bar. Maybe the jostling had chased him away. Sebastian applied the lobster tongs and broke the claws with a skilful turn and gentle pressure. Marcus didn't like the crushing sound. "Open your mouth." Sebastian shoved Marcus a piece of white meat into his mouth and smiled. "Good?" Marcus nodded. "And now a strawberry and a little sip of champagne. Still ok?" Marcus stepped away to swallow. Then he panted, "Bastian, you are still a tempter! I've missed you!" Sebastian approached the other man. "Truly?" In the background a piano player soft music which filled the high, stucco- decorated room whose walls were covered with dirty-rose coloured silk wallpaper, which colour repeated in the table clothes and gracefully upholstered chairs. The dinner table was arranged in a half circle and the light of the wall lamps mirrored into countless glasses. "But YOU are the seducer, Don Juan!" "Ha! And you, look at you! Most fashionable dandy Oscar Wilde!" He lowered his voice, "really, you look almost like him. Only your mask is disturbing." "So, whose idea was it?" Sebastian raised his voice to outdo the talk and laughing in the room. "Since the first New Year's Party with Lagerfeld where he showed up as Zorro with cloak and rapier I guess," a short woman said. She leaned coolly and smoking against the carmine red curtains, wearing a zebra striped long jacket and an almost transparent shirt underneath. "Lagerfeld as Zorro? But where did he leave his fan?" laughing answered a man in his fifties, dressed like Lawrence of Arabia. He too wore the little black mask over his eyes. "Have I told you about my last trip to Paris to Paco Rabanne?", a skinny, tall woman with copper red and very short hair asked. "No!" answered a choir of excited voices. "Tell us all about it!" It was a ritual which Marcus enjoyed every time he met his friends and business partners, but this evening he found it rather stupid. He imagined what Nicholas would think of it and how he would scarcely fit in. "He told me of his close encounter with God in a football stadium!" She earned amused laughter. "Paco met God in a football stadium?" The sun mask of Louis XIV was shaking with laughter. "Did he tell you what God looks like?" Angelika's face was stern. He wore a tight catsuit painted with bright red and yellow flames from her ankles up to her breasts. "Of course he did. It was a man and a woman at the same time." "Ah!! He or she was naked?" "Rubbish! But he could feel that this was the truth. And God told him that he - Paco - was one of the Theban priests who murdered Tutankhamun." "Ha! Now, that's interesting!" "Maybe it wasn't God but the devil in disguise out there in the football stadium!" "Pah, stupid idiots! You know nothing!" Her face was flushed now and as bright red as the flames on her catsuit. "So what!" said an eldish Mary Antoinette with a beauty spot on her upper lip, "Do you want to see what he gave me as a present for my last birthday?" She lifted the skirt of her voluminous dress to reveal surprising slim legs and knitted straps of mink held by a riveted leather triangle. "Wooh wooh wooh!" Sebastian screamed, climed on a stool and waved his beige coloured jacket. "And, Ladies and Gentlemen, would you like to see what's under MY trousers?" Shouting answered him. Marcus shook his head grinning. He had drawn apart from the crowd into the corner of the room near the buffet and nibbled some salmon pate. Sebastian pulled out a cigar of the pocket of his jacket and scratched the match alight on his sole. Marcus knew, how long he had practised this trick and that he tended to strip at parties, if he had drank too much. The crowd had made a circle around him and clapped to "Big Spender" the piano player now played. Little by little shoes, socks and shirt flung onto the parquet floor, until Sebastian turned and revealed a little bit of his buttocks by pulling down his trousers and with it his briefs. Marcus didn't know if he should laugh or cry. He chose the first as Sebastian amidst a barrage of clapping climbed down from the stool and collected his clothes. Marcus bent down and held out his scarf he had swung negligently around his neck. "You are incorrigible." "Ah, and you don't drink enough!" Sebastian stuffed his cigar into the mouth of the Marquis the Sade who had showed up with whips and a heavy black leather custume. "Probably." "Oh, come on, what's the matter with you this evening? Yearning for sweet Nicki, eh?" For a moment Marcus looked as if he would like to strike his friend. But Sebastian didn't notice. He went to the still shouting group and lifted his glass of champagne. "Cheers", and, after a look to the wall clock he added, "only twenty minutes till new year." Angelika pulled Marcus to her and began slowly to dance with him. "Sad today, my pretty one? Unfortunately I cannot offer you my bed to cheer you up, right?" Marcus looked into her lurking green cat eyes. He felt her palms gliding over his buttocks and he stiffened. "You never slept with a woman?" she whispered. Marcus felt her breasts squeezing against his chest and he tried to put some distance between him and her. "Never, and I'm afraid I never will." "What a pity, my dear." "He, Angie, what are you trying to do to my best friend?" Angelika felt herself pulled away and Macus was suddenly Sebastian's arms. "She's still trying to seduce you, eh?" Marcus grinned. "Of course, she's been trying for years." He looked into Sebastian grey-green eyes, felt his strong arm around his waist and his half hard cock grinding into his own. Slightly he pushed back and said, "And you? Are you yearning for your beloved Rome? Winter time without all those tourists?" "Actually yes. Berlin is too cold." "Even Rome has snow sometimes." "That's not what I'm talking about. The people are cold." "Hm. Must be the nordic weather!" Sebastian nodded. "Tell me about Nick, how is he?" "Fine, Bastian. Really. I was never so much in love since Simon." His friend looked serious and tightened his grip around his waist. "But Simon was different", added Marcus. "Nicholas is unfathomable like a deep lake, restrained, warm hearted and perceptive. He surprises me every single day. And I was thinking just now what he would think about us and these silly party and these silly people." "So, what would he say then?" "Plainly speaking I guess he would find it rather shitty." Sebastian grinned. "Then he would share my opinion." "Would he?" Marcus laughed roaring. "Oh, Bastian, you are really something!" "Sure! Come, I'm hungry again. Have you left a bit of the salmon pate for me?" He piled up his plate with goose liver and dropped a bit from the truffel vinaigrette on top of it. He eyed the other displayed plates and couldn't decide between roast venison with chanterelles or aubergines with mussels. Marcus took a bit of chocolate strudel with cherry pralines. "Ten minutes to go, darling," he said, "where's your glass?" "Take a new one." Sebastian tasted the aubergines and found them delicious. "Now, have you sorted out all problems with Nicki? You know what I mean." "Yes, we did. He'd moved in with me." "Yes?" Sebastian was genuinely amazed. "So soon? What have you done with him?" Marcus snorted, "All you can imagine! Come don't be so stupid. He's a wonderful lover." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Like me?" he asked putting on a coquettish look. "Like you, you slut!" Marcus giggled. "Ten, nine, eight," the group counted down the old year. Both man joined them and shouted loudly, "four, three, two, one, YEAH!" A collective "Happy New Year" filled the wide room and deafened Nicholas' ears. The screaming and shouting brought him back to reality, the effect of the little pink pill subsided slowly. He found himself among a cheering crowd, hugged by totally unknown teens and twenty-somethings. Balloons felt from the ceiling, together with confetti and spangles which glued in his hair and eyelashes. He shook off the laughing people and tried to reach the edge of the dance floor. He definitely needed something to drink and then he had to find Matthias and Tina. The discjockey roared into his microphone, repeating only one sentence like a broken record "Happy New Year, Happy New Year" and the cheering crowd answered. The biggest part of them flooded to the exit to watch the fireworks. With a big effort he reached the bar where Kay was busy filling glasses and taking the money. "Can I have some mineral water?" Kay looked up and said "Back to earth, sweetie? From what I can see you enjoyed the flight." Nicholas' hair was glued to his forehead and his T-Shirt was damp with sweat. He wiped his flushed face with his hand and swallowed the cold water. Kay quickly put his hand on Nicholas' arm. "Slow down, don't drink so fast, you'll get sick." It was too late, the glass was empty. "What do I owe you?" Kay shook his head. "Nothing I'll take care of that. It's on the house. By the way, your friends are outside to watch the fireworks." He grinned. "Happy New Year." "What? Oh yes, the same to you." He want to turn and follow his friends but Kay said, "I should stay in, sweetie. It's cold and you are sweating." Nicholas propped himself in front of the bar. "Why do I have the feeling you're acting like my mother?" he ask half laughing. "Come on, be nice. Your friends will soon show up again." Nicholas nodded. "Ok. I'll have a piss." He disappeared through one of the doors leading to the toilets. The room was empty and smelled sharp like air fresher. Everybody must be outside, he tought as he stepped to the urinal and opened his trousers. As he has finished he looked at himself in the mirror over the sinks, scooped water into his palms and rinsed his face. "Happy New Year, Marcus", he whispered. He was determined to go home as soon as possible. He yearned for his lover. There was still nobody to be seen as he opened the door to the dance floor but he suddenly sensed someone behind him. As he was about to turn round to see who it was he felt a cloth pressed over his nose and mouth and he breathed in a sweet sickly smell. He tried to break free, waved wildly with his arms and tried to scream, but the grip on his head, his hair and around his chest from behind was unyielding. Nicholas felt himself slowly losing consciousness and doubled his efforts. Suddenly the door to the hall flung open and a crowd of half drunken people flooded in. They saw what was happening and stood in amazement for a moment. Then a young man dashed forward to the attacker and Nicholas felt the grip loosen; the cloth disappeared from his face and he fell hard on the floor. His head hit the tiles. "There he is", the young man shouted. He rushed after the other who tried to escape, opening another door leading to the rear exit and both disappeared into the night. "Hey, lad," a woman bent over Nicholas, "are you hurt?" "He's unconscious." "Someone call a doctor!" "Who was this asshole?" Matthias peered in to see what was going on and went pale when he saw Nicholas laying apparently lifeless on the cold floor. "What's wrong with him?" He kneeled beside him and rubbed his cheeks. "Nick? Can you hear me?" Despairingly he looked up to the others. "Has anyone called the ambulance?" He jumped up. The man who had followed the attacker came back alone and panted heavily. "He was gone. I couldn't see him anymore. I guess he was simply after his wallet." Matthias rushed through the door to the bar where Kay had already called for the ambulance. "Do you know the number of the 'Four Seasons'? Can you call Marcus?" "Sure. Just a moment." He searched through the telephone book and finally found the right number. "What was happened? Can you tell me?" Matthias shook his head. Kay dialed the number and waited. The servant came with an extension phone to Marcus who was still standing on the terrace watching the fireworks on the frosty and clear sky. He looked questioning and took it. Sebastian watched his friend and saw his dark complexion pale as the blood drained from it. Immediately he was at his side. "What's the matter?" he asked as Marcus finished. "Nicholas. He," he cleared his throat, "there was an accident or something. He's hurt. I must go to him. Now." Without a word he left Sebastian standing there and searched for his coat. Sebastian followed him out. "But you can't drive, you've been drinking." "Bullshit, I'm not drunk." "I'll come with you." After a wild drive through the night and deserted streets Marcus and Sebastian reached the 'Moonbreaker' to find Nicholas laying in one of the offices on a couch. The doctor had just finished his examination, had found some minor abrasions but all the same recommended an overnight stay in the hospital. Nicholas saw Marcus enter and tried to smile. He was relatively ok by now, only his head hurt at bit. "Baby, what have you been doing? What's happened?" Marcus sat on the couch and held his hand. Sebastian stood beside them. Nicholas blinked a few times. "I don't know. I can't remember exactly, but there was a man." His voice was low. "He was behind me in the toilet and suddenly there was a cloth over my face and he was trying to drag me outside." Marcus looked up to his friend who shook his head as if he still didn't understand. "Can you walk?" "I'll try." Cautiously he sat up and put his feet on the floor. He was slightly dizzy but he could handle it. Marcus helped him to get up. Then he looked at the doctor waiting at the door, "Can we go with him in the ambulance?" "Of course you can." "We'll take a taxi to the hospital" a voice came from the door where Matthias stood. They drove in silence. Marcus continued to hold Nicholas' hand and watched his pale face. He cursed himself for having let him go to this shitty rave, but then thought that something like this could happen in any location; some bugger who was obviously after Nicholas' wallet. But did this make sense? How much money could a 20 years old lad have with him? Would it be worth it to take such a risk? Marcus suddenly flushed with anger. Nicholas had spoken about a cloth which was held in front of his face. This meant that it was probably impregnated with an anaesthetic and the explanation surely that this must have been a premeditated assault. But who on earth could have an interest in attacking Nicholas? And what reason could he have had? He sighed. This made no sense after all. "You didn't see him, did you?" Nicholas shook his head. "What impression did you get? Was it a young man or an old?" "I don't know. I lost consciousness but maybe Matthias will know more." Yes, this was was something to hold on to. Matthias and Tina were already waiting in front of the hospital as the ambulance arrived. Nicholas was led into an examination room where he was prepared for a ECG scan to find out if he had a concussion. His friends waited in the Casualty Department. While they sat and waited several people arrived, some with wounds on hands, arms and heads, the usual New Years Eve accidents Marcus thought. He bend over to Matthias and asked him. "You haven't any clue as to what was going on, have you?" "No, I'm afraid not. I wasn't there when it happened. Though there was a crowd around helping him and one guy was chasing the man who assaulted Nick, but he lost him outside. He said it might had been some mugger but this makes no sense to me." Marcus nodded. "But did he say how the man looked like?" "No. I asked several people but everybody had a different description. I mean, it all happened so fast... I remember the guy said that the attacker was wearing glasses." "Put them all together and take the average and maybe we'll get the right description", Sebastian offered and got a sharp look from Marcus. "Sorry", Sebastian said and leaned his head against the cold green painted wall. His head hurt and he tried to shake off the buzz. "Was there any incident that could have led up to this, Matthias?" Marcus insisted. "A quarrel or something?" "No. Not that I know of. Although," he paused, "Nick was suddenly a bit strange, he dissapeared into the crowd at the dance floor and we were surprised as he refused to dance before. We wondered what suddenly made him change his mind. I mean, he didn't enjoy the loud music and all of a sudden he..." Matthias looked at Marcus. "Kay said later he had given him drugs. I mean an Ecstasy tablet. It was supposed to make him feel more relaxed, and it doesn't do any harm. I take them myself and I always feel great afterwards." Marcus patted his shoulder. "It's ok, no need for excuses. You're not his big brother to watch over him. I guess it hasn't anything to do with this pill. But maybe something wrong was happened on the dance floor, but Nicholas told about a cloth which was pressed over his face, so it lookes like a planned kidnapping to me. But what's the meaning of it?" The door opened and Nicholas stepped out with a nurse. "The young man has to stay here overnight. We already have a room prepared for him. There's no need for you to stay here all night long though." Marcus jumped up. "But everything's ok with him?" "As far as we can see, yes." "I want to stay here." "As you like. There's a second bed in the room." Marcus turned to his friend and Matthias. "Thanks for the support. But I guess it's all right now for you to leave. Sleep off your tipsiness, Bastian and you", he looked at Matthias and Tina, "I give you a call tomorrow, ok?" To be continued