The Journal

The Journal Chapter 4 By Randyhoward2@yahoo.com The usual disclaimers apply.

From chapter 3.

It was the first day of classes for us and we were excited about going. My interior design class was my only class and I couldn't wait to begin. I had just kissed Kyle goodbye and then drove off. I had gotten a couple of miles from home when I realized that I had forgotten my books. I still had an hour before class so I went back home to get it. When I arrived, I parked in the driveway and ran inside. 'That is strange we didn't lock the door' I thought to myself noticing that it just opened for me. I went into our den, grabbed my books, and turned to leave. There standing in front of me is a guy holding a gun pointed at me.

"Don't move or it will be your last step," he says to me and I froze in my tracks.

Chapter 4

My heart pounded in my chest. Who was this man and what did he want. I looked around and another guy came out of my bedroom. He comes over to me and gets right in my face and I can smell the booze on his breath. He looks me in the eyes and says,

"You one of the homos that live here?" I couldn't speak I was so stricken with fear. "You fucking deaf cocksucker?" He shouts at me and slaps me across the face.

"Yeeeea.wwhhy." I stammer.

"We have been waiting for you to leave so why did you come back?" He asks me.

"I forgot my books," I tell him. "Don't hurt me please. Take what ever you want but please don't hurt me." I pleaded.

"Take him into the bedroom and tie him to the bed." He tells the one with the gun. "Oh and don't forget to gag him."

"Please that isn't necessary," I tell them. "I won't cause any trouble for you. Just take what you want and leave."

He slaps me again and I go into the bedroom and lye on the bed. He grabs a pillow, and takes the case off and rips into strips. He ties my hands to each side of the headboard and my feet to the footboard. A pair of Kyle's boxers is lying on the floor and he picks them up and stuffs them into my mouth. My eyes are filled with tears and fright as he leans close and rubs the gun along my cheek. I turn my head away from him fearing the worst. I hear him leave the room and I turn back to see. 'What am I going to do now,' I thought. Will they hurt me or worst kill me. My mind was racing in a million different directions. 'Did I tell Kyle this morning I loved him? Will he find me dead?' I thought. 'What if they are still hear when he gets home?' I couldn't think. I prayed silently for help. I even prayed that the end would be quick. 'Please God don't let Kyle come home with these guys here.' I prayed. I could here things being thrown around the house and wondered what they were doing. After an hour, they came back into the room and just stared at me.

"What do you suppose we should do with him?" The one with the gun says to the other.

"Why don't we just shoot him and get going." The other says.

"Naw, lets have some fun first. He likes cock so lets give him some cock." He says with lust and anger in his eyes.

"You mean rape him." He says. "That's not a bad idea, Cliff."

My heart is racing with fear. 'Oh please God no not rape please.' I thought. The one called Cliff grabs my shirt and rips it off my body leaving it hanging on each side of me. He does the same to my shorts and boxers. I am lying there naked and he removes his pants and shorts. He unties my legs and lifts them up onto my chest. The other one puts his gun down and strattles my face holding my legs. Cliff then puts his dick to my hole and shoves with one great push. I moan in muffled pain as he fully enters me to his pubes. The pain from no lube is so great I thought I would pass out. He starts to aggressively fucking me hard and savagely calls me names.

"Fucking cocksucker.got a real man in ya now huh. You my fucking cunt now fag." He says. "You fucking love it bitch don't ya fag boy."

The tears are running down my face as he rapes my ass. My fears are running wild in my thoughts. 'Will they both rape me before they kill me.' I couldn't think his attack on my ass was so savage. He lasted maybe thirty minutes when he finally came filling my ass with his cum. He gets off me and switches places with the one holding my legs. Like his partner he lower his pants, shorts, and crawls between my legs and just shoves his cock in my now lube with cum ass. He also is savage and pounds my ass without mercy. The pain isn't like the first one but painful nevertheless. Cliff lowers to my ear and says,

"Bet you had old Cliffy in ya don't cha. He ain't long and fat like cliffy's big ten inch dick is he bitch." He says with pompous arrogance.

He doesn't last like Cliff either and he soon spends his load in me and pulls out. He gets up, and pulls his shorts and pants up.

"What now Cliff. Do we kill 'im or what," as he looks with delight at me.

"Sure but no gun someone might here it. Just beat the fucker to death and get out before the other one gets back.

My thoughts are scrambling, 'have they been watching us' 'will they be fast or slow in killing me' I couldn't think straight. I was praying when I felt the first blow. It had to be the gun striking me because the pain was violent. Again with a blow to the head and then.darkness.

"Josh honey come back please babe don't leave me," the words where so clear but yet so far away.

"Babe hold on the ambulance is on the way don't die on me please bud." That voice I know it but who, where. I kept fading in and out of consciousness not sure what was real and what was imagined.

"Bud I love you please stay with me. I am so sorry this happened to you and I wasn't here to protect you. Just don't leave me babe." That voice I know it, it's.whose voice. 'A siren, is that a siren? Oh God thank you I am still alive but am I?' The pain, oh stop the pain I can't take anymore, please, stop the pain. 'What is happening there are hands on me prodding and feeling. More voices I don't recognize speaking.' I must get myself together hear and wake up. 'Help me please, someone stop this pain. Where am I.' My thoughts are the only thing keeping here on earth. I want to sleep and ease the pain and drift away but something is keeping me hear in spite of the pain...but what. Then light, I see light my eyes are open and I can slightly see.

"He's awake Bill, his eyes just opened," some guy says.

"Josh bud please hold on babe, hold on." I hear someone yell.

"Lets move him now before we loose him. He may not last much longer here if we wait. He has lost a lot of blood and his vital signs are weak." This guy says and I realize he is a paramedic.

"Hold on bud," that voice says "don't give in stay with us," and then darkness.

"We are loosing him," the paramedic says, "get us to the hospital fast."

Kyle.

He looked so pale and drawn as they prepared him for transport. His face and clothes, covered in blood, his blood was dried to his skin. His looked so helpless and frail lying there as his eyes closed again and he slipped back into unconsciousness. 'Why wasn't I here to protect him. Who could have done this to the only one I could or would love,' I thought my mind racing as I tried to put together what could have happened. 'He left the same time as I did and should have gotten home after I did, so why was he here ahead of me. Did he surprise a thief or thieves and why had they raped him,' I thought. 'Oh God please spare him from death and give him back to me.' It was then that a Mounty came up to me to ask me some questions.

"Mr. Fitzpatrick is it sir," he asks me. "I am Officer Stanley," and shakes my hand.

"Yes, but please Kyle," I tell him.

"Have you had a chance to notice what is missing yet?" He asks.

"No sir, my primary concern had been Josh." I tell him.

"Well we will need a complete list of articles taken and lets see," he pauses. "Yes, has Mr. Kerry or you had any threats made to you," he asks.

"No sir none that I know of, why," I ask him.

"Well sir. err Kyle, this has all the signs of a hate crime as well as a robbery." He says.

"Why would someone hate us, we stay to ourselves," I ask him.

"Well.ah.because you are gay," he says.

"What! That's ridiculous," I tell him. "Why would that be a problem for anyone," I ask.

"Well homosexuality only recently came out of the closet and unto Main Street USA." He says. "Many people don't feel that it is something that should be out in the open. They think it goes against the laws of nature and then some." He pauses and then says, "personally I don't care either way."

"Well officer if there is nothing else I do want to get to the hospital," I tell him.

"If you could get me a list of stolen objects when you can that would be great. We can probably trace them if they fence them to the thieves." He says as he is leaving.

I get to the hospital and they tell me that he is in the operating room. His heart stopped once on the way to the hospital and they were able to restart it. He had to have a transfusion because of the blood he lost and his brain was swelling so they had to operate to relieve the pressure. So, I found a pay phone and called my mom.

"Kyle what a surprise dear, how are you," she asks.

"Not good mom, someone broke in to our place and robbed it." I tell her. "And.mom, they beat Josh almost to death. He is in the operating room now relieving pressure from his brain." I tell her as tears start to flow and I have to stop talking because I am crying so hard. After awhile I calm down and ask,

"Mom what if doesn't know me when he comes to? What if he is afraid of me and doesn't want to be with me?" Again the tears fall.

"Kyle we will just have to pray that all will be fine and he will know you son," she says. "Your love will pull him through and he knows how much you love him."

"Thanks mom, you always make me feel better. Hey, I have to go the doctor is here and needs to talk to me. Thanks mom, I will call you later when I know something."

"Things will be fine son, and we will be praying for him." She says. "I love you son."

"Mr. Kerry, I'm Dr. Rodriguez." the doctor asks.

"Yes I'm Mr. Kerry, how's Joshua?" I ask him.

"Lets have a seat and talk," he says with a worried look on his face.

"The surgery went well to relieve the pressure on the brain. I am afraid that his long hair is gone but that can always grow back. The next forty-eight hours will be imperative to his recovery. If he can regain consciousness, he will be out of the woods. We still don't know the extent, if any, of any brain damage. My biggest concern now is his regaining consciousness."

"Will he know me when he awakens?" I ask.

"Like I said we don't know the extent of any brain damage. He had extensive swelling and the brain did not seem damaged but until he wakes, we can't be sure what condition he is in. His vital signs are weak but stable at the moment which is a good sign." He says.

Just then the intercom blares, 'Dr. Rodriguez recovery code blue.' Again 'Dr. Rodriguez recovery code blue.'

"I've got to go I will be back." He says running quickly out of the waiting room.

"Please God don't take my Josh. Please heal him and give him back to me," I prayed.

I waited in the recovery waiting room for word of Josh's condition. I knew code blue was a serious code and I needed to know how my Josh was. It was a good three hours later that Dr. Rodriguez came back out to talk to me.

"Mr. Kerry, he is in stable but critical condition right now. He had some internal bleeding and his heart had stopped so we had to rush him into surgery again. His vital signs are a bit better but he still is in danger." He says.

"Can I go in to see him?" I ask.

"Give them a few minutes to finish up their work with him and you can go in." He says. "I will be checking in on him periodically for the next few days. Talk to him and see if you might get him to come back to the world of the living. Why don't you go get a tea or coffee and relax. It will be another twenty minutes until they are done."

"Thank you doctor. I think I will and call my folks." I tell him.

"Does Mr. Kerry have any parents?" He asks.

"Yes but they made it clear that he was dead to them when he told them he was gay." I tell him.

"Well I think you should still call and let them know but that's your call young man." He says and shakes my hand and leaves.

The next few days crawled at a snails pace. I sat beside his bed holding his hand and telling him how much I loved him. I told him of our life together and how we met. I told him of my parents and I even told him how I had called his mom. She had said to tell him that she loved him and hoped he pulled through. His condition hadn't changed over the last three days. Dr. Rodriguez was concerned that he hadn't regained consciousness and feared a coma. It was on the fourth day as I laid my head on the bed beside his hand that we got a miracle. I had been crying and all of a sudden, a hand rubs my head and I hear,

"Why you crying man?" Josh said a bit puzzled.

"I jump to my feet and look him in the eyes."Oh Bud your back." I cried. I ran for the nurse and a doctor. The nurse comes in and says Dr. Rodriguez will be right in. Josh is opening and closing his eyes when Dr. Rodriguez comes in.

"He woke up doc, he spoke to me." I tell ecstatically. "He knows me too."

"Well, why don't you wait outside while we examine him." He tells me.

"Can't I wait over hear please doc?" I plead.

"Well, ok I guess."

He examined Josh and after about twenty minutes, he asks me to come with him out into the hall.

"Did he address you by name?" he asks.

"He asked 'why are you crying man'." I tell him. "Why?"

"Well be prepared for him not knowing you. He seems confused, it could be temporary, and it might be permanent only time will tell." He says. "I just wanted you prepared."

"Can I see him now. Is he awake?" I ask.

"Yes but remember he is still confused and disoriented."

I went back in Josh's room and he was lying there so quiet. He looks over at me and the doctor entering and says to the doctor,

"Who is that with you doc?" My heart hit the floor as I went over to his bed and took his hand. He quickly pulled it from me and said,

"What the fuck you doing man? I don't know you and how come you think you can hold my hand?" He asks with a very disturbed look in his eyes. I look at the doctor and he gives me a shrug. I look back at Josh and ask,

"Bud my name is Kyle don't you know me, we live together, I love you Babe."

"What are you a fag," he asks.

"Babe please, remember, please bud."

"Doc get this fag out of my room please, now," he yells.

I leave with the doctor and I am in tears. The man I love not only doesn't know me but also has called me a fag. My heart can't take his rejection as I cry on the doctor's shoulder. He gently rubs my back and says,

"I told you to be prepared for this. He could come around or it could be permanent." He says. "Why don't you go home and get some rest and let me talk to him, maybe I can help him to remember things. You come back later with some pictures, that might help him to remember." He tells me.

"Ok doc, please try to help him to remember. I have to make a list of the things that were stolen for the police anyhow." I left with my heart broken and cried all the way home. Mrs. Whitehead was outside when I got home and asked how Joshua was. I told her how he didn't know me and had rejected me. She says,

"These things happen young man and we must make the best of them. When he sees what a nice young man you are he will come around, besides who can forget your smile."

"Thanks Mrs. Whitehead, but he called me a fag and yelled at me to get out of his room." I told her and broke down again.

"Now now my boy, just you wait he will come around. Old Jessica knows about these things and the ways of the heart." She tells me while comforting me.

I go into my home and it is so empty without Josh. Without him, it is just a house. He made it a home and a place full of love. I made the list for Officer Stanley and called him. I told him about Josh, he told me how sorry he was and that with time maybe his memory would come back. I told him that I would bring the list by the station but he said that he was going to be in my neighborhood and that he would pick it up. I thanked him and told him I would be home until six that I was bringing some pictures to Josh to help jog his memory. I picked the mess the robbers had made and was vacuuming when Officer Stanley stopped by. He entered when I didn't answer his knocks fearing something wrong. I jumped a mile and slugged him not knowing who he was. He went flying across the dining room table and landed on the other side of the table. I ran over to see who had touched me and I was shocked to see him lying out cold on my floor. I ran and got a cold cloth for his head and brought him up some and laid him on my lap as I placed the cold cloth on his forehead. He came to almost instantly and opened his eyes and said,

"Man you have a wicked right arm don't you."

"I am so sorry officer for hitting you. I didn't know who it was sneaking up on me and with everything that has happened today.as I said I'm sorry."

"Its my fault for sneaking up on you. I knocked several times quite hard and when I got no answer I assumed the worst and went in." He told me still lying in my lap. "You know what they say about assuming don't you, it makes an ass out of you and me," he says with a chuckle and a bit red faced. We are looking silently at each other when he realizes that he is lying in my lap and gets quite red and tries to get up and falls right back into my lap.

"Easy man, a bit dizzy huh?" I ask him.

"Yeah a tad I guess." He lies there for a while silently each gazing into each other's eyes before he gets up. I help him to his feet and he starts to stumble and falls into my arms. I lift him and we are face to face just a breath apart. He looks at me and then kisses me intently on the lips. I push away and look at him without saying a word.

"Forgive me Kyle, I don't know what came over me. It was just a moment of misjudgment on my part. That is really not like me and again I apologize." He says with worry in his voice.

"Are you gay officer," I ask him.

"Yeah and I have had a lover for three years, his name is Michael and please call me Steven," he tells me.

"Well kissing like that I can see why."

I tell him not to worry about it no harm done. I tell him that when things get back to normal, if ever, we must all get together. He says that would be great and then asks me not to mention the kiss. I tell him what kiss and we both laugh. I walk him to the door, he turns to shake my hand, and I give him a kiss on the lips. Not a passionate one but a kiss that he will not soon forget. He blushes and leaves. I get together the pictures and cry again as I look at them. There are ones from Woodstock with us naked and holding hands, others are from our first apartment, and Thanksgiving and Christmas. I put them in a shoebox and head over to the hospital. I knock before entering Josh's room and I hear,

"Come in."

I enter cautiously and he looks up at me and says,

"Oh its you again." He says it with a hint of coldness to his voice.

"I won't stay but I brought you some pictures of us before the attack hoping you might remember." I tell him with a crackle in my voice.

"Whatever, come in and sit down if you want to." He says again coolly. "I'm not no fag that's for sure."

"No I will just leave these with you and go. I am so sorry for upsetting you but I love you so much Josh." I tell him with hurt in my heart. "I hope they help you find what is missing," and I leave. Why can't he remember me and our love for each other? Am I to go through the rest of my life without him? No I cannot bare it, I will not accept it. I turn around, go back to his room, and find him looking through the pictures. I tell him,

"I am sorry but I need to say this one thing and I will be gone forever. I love you and have since the day we met at Woodstock. I will love you forever even if I can't have you. You have never been a fag; you have been my friend and lover. I know you find this hard to believe. I love you Joshua Michael Kerry and even you cannot take that from me. The robbers may have stolen your memory but I refuse to let them steal my love for you." I turn and walk to the bed and kiss him passionately and tenderly and turned and left.

I was lying in bed still trying to sleep. My thoughts were on Josh. I looked at the clock, one thirty five, God I need to sleep. About ten minutes later the phone rings. 'Oh God,' I thought, 'please don't let it be bad news.'

"Hello."

"Kyle?" I heard.

"Josh?" I asked quizzically.

"Help me please," he said with sadness.

"I'll be right there." I told him.

I hurried, dressed, and shot to the hospital. I got to his room and knocked on the door. He called to come in and I entered. I found him sitting in bed with all the pictures around him. He was crying as he held a picture to his breast. When he looked up and saw me he cried even harder. I ran to his side and held him close as he sobbed.

"Its all right now bud, I'm here," I told him holding him close.

"I'm never going to let you go again, ever." I told him.

"Take me home babe. I want to go home." He said.

"I can't but I will stay here with you until you can go home," I told him and kissed him deeply and passionately. "Can you forgive me for what I have done to you my love?" He asks.

"You have done nothing to be forgiven of and besides, I am so thankful to have you back."

"But the names I called you when I didn't know you. The way I spoke to you with anger and hatred in my heart."

"That was another man, not my Bud." I tell him. "What triggered your memory love."

"This picture at Woodstock," he told me. "I was with the doctor, we were going through the pictures, and he asked where this picture was taken. I looked up and just said 'oh that was taken at Woodstock last summer' and went back to looking at the pictures. I stopped and took the picture from him and looked at it. As I stared at it your face came back to me, that grin that said 'hey world look at my man and he is all mine,' and I knew that instant who you where. I broke down and cried so hard that I frightened the doctor. Kyle I am so, so sorry I hurt you with my words. Please forgive me babe."

"I told you, the man I love has come back and that man who hurt me is gone." I gazed into his eyes and kissed him.

"You know when you came back in earlier and said to me 'Joshua Michael Kerry I love you' and then you kissed me I knew then that there was something about you I knew."

"Welcome back bud." We held each other and kissed for what seemed hours until a nurse came in and kind of gave us a strange look. She didn't say anything but we knew she was not comfortable with what she saw.

Later the next day Officer Stanley came by to take a statement from Josh. I introduced Josh to Steve and told him about our incident, which made Steve blush again. Josh told him not to worry about it and gave him a kiss which made him blush all the more. Josh told him that one of the guys was named Cliff. He described him and the other man the best he could remember. Officer Stanley mentioned that a few items that were stolen had shown up in a pawnshop downtown. He had sent a team to investigate and would get back to us if they had any solid lead. I walked Officer Stanley out, had a quiet talk with him, and returned to the room.

"He seems like a nice guy babe," he said, "and he kisses nicely. Is he gay?" Josh asked.

"Yes and he has a lover."

"When things settle down we must invite them over for dinner. We don't have many gay friends and now we have two new ones." He says with an air of excitement in his voice.

Dr. Rodriguez came in around ten and checked Josh and decided that he could go home. He left for a few minutes and wrote up the orders and prescriptions before returning.

"Joshua these are your prescriptions for pain and one for an anti- biotic for infections. I want you to have bed rest for the next week and no sex," he said looking at me. "I want your anal cavity to heal before you resume sex. I will see you in a week so call my office for an appointment. Now go home and take care of our boy," he says to me.

We left and went home. Mrs. Whitehead met us at our place with a nice dish for dinner later. She gave Josh a big hug and kiss.

"Now young man you listen to this man of yours," she told him in a stern motherly voice. "He has been beside himself with worry and fear for you and he wants to take care of you. So you listen and do what he tells you, you hear me?"

"Yes mom.err.Mrs. Whitehead." He says.

"Mom is fine son now get to bed and rest. Kyle I can stay with him during your classes so he won't be alone, ok." She tells me.

"That would be great but we have decided to wait until the fall semester to start school. With his recovery and my missing time, we would have too much work to make up so this way is best. But we both appreciate your offering."

"Well if you need anything don't hesitate to ask, you got that young man?" she says in that motherly voice again.

"Yes mom," we both say in unison.

Dylan

"I can't believe dad what you went through that first year," I say aloud as if my dad was sitting beside me. The silence in the room was deafening. I looked over at my dad lying there wishing he were alive so I could kiss him and tell him how much I loved him. I just arrived from school after a call from my dad's secretary telling me that he didn't have much longer. The cancer has ravaged his body and the strong body builder of a man I knew was replaced with a frail shell of the man I knew. My other dad had done his best to keep him comfortable and pain free during this long ordeal. His love for him was unmistakable. Even when he knew dad had just weeks to live he acted as if they had years. I could tell that he would fall apart once dad was gone. I still could not find him and wondered why he wasn't here waiting for the coroner to come to take dad's body. I continued to stare off into space when the doorbell broke my concentration. I went downstairs to answer it; it was the coroner and the attendants from the funeral home.

"Come in sir," I said. "My dad is upstairs."

We went upstairs to my dad's room and he examined and pronounced him dead. He approved the removal of his body by the funeral home and said that an autopsy would not be needed because the cancer had ravaged him so. The funeral home took dad away and said that I did not have to come by because the arrangements had already been made. I told him that I would call them later as to times for the service. After they left, I tried to find my other dad and finally decided he may have been running errands. I thought it odd that he wasn't here waiting for the coroner. I returned to dad's bedroom to read some more of his journal. I noticed that some pages had been left blank and that the following page had been a general review of what had happened during what I thought must have been the skipped times. I picked up the journal and started to read.

August 1970

I was approaching our first anniversary and with what we had been through this past year, we both needed a vacation. Steve, the Monty, found the men who had robbed and raped me and they got life in prison. We decided to buy a house instead of renting and moved to a nice four-bedroom home. It was in a gated community and had security guards and a state of the art security system installed. My ordeal was now behind me and I wanted to move on with our life. We had become good friends with Steve and Michael. We had bought a new one hundred fifty foot yacht. We both love to sail and went often on Lake Ontario. My step dad had a heart attack and died. Mom and I got very close, she apologized for the pain and hurt they had put me through. She told us she loved Kyle and me and accepted our relationship. My step dad had been a controlling type and it was his way only. I decided to go into business law instead of interior design. Kyle and I would attend the same college in September and he had decided on a major in business with a minor in finance. Life was good again and we needed a vacation before school started. We had decided that we wanted to go to Myrtle Beach for some fun in the sun. We decided to take the yacht and sail it down. It was a beautiful day and the weather couldn't be better. The yacht had ten nicely appointed staterooms and a very nice galley kitchen. I had become quite a cook, with the help of Mrs. Whitehead, and enjoyed cooking for my man. Steve and Michael had decided to join us on vacation since they had not had a real vacation in years. Their anniversary was also in August and we decided it would be great to celebrate it together. They told us how they were adopting a baby and expected the baby to arrive around October. We had a great time and really got a great tan. Because of my brain surgery I had to have my head shaved. Kyle decided that as a show of support he cut his hair short. I was shocked the day he walked in and I saw it for the first time. I screamed out in shock and ran my fingers through his short locks. It made him look like a kid of sixteen with it that short. We spent two beautiful weeks on vacation arriving home just a week before the start of school. Back at home; we talked about having a baby.

"Wouldn't you like to have a baby to call our own?" I had asked Kyle.

"Yes but neither of us are built to have one love," Kyle said.

"No shit Shakespeare, I was thinking adopting like Steve and Michael," I said in my smartass tone.

"If that is what you want bud, we could," He said. "Anything to make you happy."

"Well wouldn't you like a child babe?

"Of course I would, but I never gave it much thought before this. Maybe once school is over we can look into it." He tells me.

"Oh babe I love you so much."

"Want to practice making babies, huh?" He asks me with that grin I can't refuse.

"Only if I am the one donating the sperm sweet cheeks," I say and run to our bedroom.

September 1970

School started and we really got into our courses. I was tutoring in business law and one of my students was Carlos. He was a first year student like myself but was struggling in his class.

"Man how do you understand this stuff Josh." Carlos says to me.

"It just comes easy for me, all it takes is common sense to understand it." I tell him.

"Maybe because I come from Brazil and I am having trouble with my English is the problem."

"Maybe but just go get a Portuguese version of our book. I noticed that the book store has several different languages available." I tell him.

I am leaning over his shoulder explaining a passage when I feel his hand on my thigh. I ignore it thinking nothing of it until it goes up to my crotch. I jump back and ask him,

"What the fuck you doing man?"

"Well I thought you might want to get together for some fun," he says.

"No I don't want any fun and besides I have a life partner that I love very much thank you." I tell him in a most authorative voice.

"Sorry man I overstepped my boundaries. I am so horny and have not found anyone to hook up with." He tells me.

"I heard of a new gay bar opening downtown and it sounds like a hip place." I tell him.

"I hate bars everyone is so insincere," he says. "All they want is a quick blowjob and shove off."

"Well you just said that you were horny and isn't that what you want right now?" I ask him.

"Well yeah I guess so but I would still like to meet someone for a more lucrative relationship also."

"Well it's a place to start looking."

I finish my tutoring and meet Kyle at the school bookstore. As I walk up, I see Kyle leaning against the building talking to this gorgeous guy.

"Hey babe how was your day," I ask him and give him a kiss. The guy is watching us and blushes seeing us kiss.

"Hey bud, good but long. Bud this is Jack he is an exchange student from England." He tells me. I shake hands with Jack and tell him it is nice to meet him. He starts to tell me of his home and how he misses it so much. He then says,

"What do you blokes do when you get horny?" he asks us.

"What is it today, national 'National I'm Horny Day' or what," I asked Kyle.

"Why?"

"Well this cute guy I am tutoring was just saying the same thing to me earlier. He even made a pass at me and explained how he was so horny and couldn't find anyone to hook up with." I tell him.

"So did you help him out," Kyle says amusingly.

"Yeah I dropped to my knees and blew him right there in the library." I say sarcastically.

"Hey here he comes now let me introduce him to the two of you." I tell them.

"Hey Carlos come here please, I have someone for you to meet." I yell to him. He comes over and I introduced him to Kyle and Jack. Jack is all smiles because he knows about Carlos' problem and is more than willing to help him with it. Carlos shakes hands with Kyle and then Jack. Jack holds his hand while telling him that it's so nice to meet him. Carlos says the same back without pulling his hand away. I get this big grin and say,

"Ok guys here's the scoop. Carlos and Jack you are both horny and looking for satisfaction. You are both gay so lets skip the small talk, go get a motel room or go home or something. They both blush as Kyle laughs his ass off. They both are staring into each other's eyes while still holding hands. Carlos looks down and notices this and asks,

"You want to go get something to eat?" He asks Jack.

"Sounds great," Jack says and looks at Kyle and I. "You guys want to join us?"

"As cute as you both are, a foursome is not my idea of fun. Besides I have to get my man home for some serious loving before he takes you up on your offer." I tell him. We leave them talking and head home. Kyle is driving and he asks,

"You serious about giving me some serious loving bud?" he asks me. "'Cause my dick has been aching for your ass all day."

"I bet it has stud and that Jack couldn't have helped it much could it." I tell him as he blushes. "I guess I could help out a man in need." We must have broken ten laws getting home the way Kyle drove. He was a man with a mission.

We got into our home and while I redid the alarm system Kyle was undressed and headed to our room. When I got there, he was on the bed and had a towel and bottle of baby oil waiting.

"In a hurry or just someplace to go," I ask him.

"Yep, in a hurry for your hot ass and I need to get there fast." He says.

"Don't you want dinner first," I ask him.

"Bud please don't tease me babe," he pleads with that whiney voice he does so well. "You know how much I love you and your ass. Now hurry and get undressed and get it over here bud."

I slowly undress while humming the strip song taking my time and teasing him. Each piece of clothing I remove I toss over to him. When I am undressed, I start to dance around the room teasing him more. Then when he can't take anymore of my shenanigans he bolts out of bed, and grabs me pulling me to him and kisses me. It is not a passionate kiss but a rather lustful kiss. He slaps me on the ass hard but not mean and I cry out,

"Ouch that hurt."

"That will teach you to tease me again." He says. He pulls over to the bed and throws me on it. "Hey!" I yell. He jumps on top of me and goes to biting my neck. "Ouch! What are you a fucking vampire?" I ask him. "Yeah and I'm going to suck your blood," he says and goes back to sucking my neck. "Hmmmmm." Is all I can manage to say. He does the same thing on my nipples and I go crazy with desire. As he is playing with my nipples, he is getting me ready for his assault on my ass. I love to feel his fingers work my ass especially when he hits my prostate.

"Oh fuck babe don't stop that is fucking awesome babe," I tell him between moans. He sits up and moves closer in between my legs lifting them up on his shoulders. He places his well-slicked cock to my hole and pushes. It goes all the way in with one push. My back arches in ecstasy as he fully enters. 'God I love his cock' I think to myself. He starts immediately to find his rhythm and is fucking me like a mad dog in heat. He pulls out entirely and drives it pack in to the pubes. In and out, he goes picking up speed and thrusting hard as he goes.

"Fuck me Kyle make me cum babe. I love that hot cock of yours in me and I need it to make me cum babe." I tell him. He is slamming my ass, I feel his cock start to swell, and my own is about to erupt any minute. Over and over, he slams me trying to get deeper with each thrust hitting my prostate.

"Oh fuck.fuck I'm cuming.fuck me babe.harder, harder.deeper," I moaned. He kept pummeling my ass each thrust felt deeper until he let loose and shot filling my ass with is sweet man cream. "Babe you can fuck like no other," I said reeling in the afterglow of my orgasm. "What comparison do you use bud for that summation?" He asked as he fell upon my chest and then we kissed, oh how he can kiss. His kisses could launch a rocket to the moon with its intensity. His passion, so hot, could rival the hottest volcanoes. Oh to be loved by this man. "I love you babe," I tell him. "I love you too bud." We cuddled for quite awhile until the doorbell rang. Together we said, "Oh fuck Steve and Michael," as we shot of bed throwing on boxers and I ran to the door and opened it.

"My Josh, you didn't tell us it was a slumber party," Steve said looking me up and down and my cock half hard.

"Oh look he seems glad to see us also," Michael said looking at my crotch with my dick pushing against the material. Now it was my turn to blush until I noticed something that Michael was carrying.

"Oh God it's the baby, come in please come in," I said like a child on Christmas morning. "Kyle come see they brought the baby." Kyle came out in just his boxers while pulling on his tee shirt.

"Did we interrupt something," Michael asked.

"No just finished when the doorbell rang," Kyle says. "Let me see my little godson." He took Adam from Michael and went into the living room to rock him. I took the coats and we followed, stopping at the doorway to notice Kyle holding Adam and gently rocking him while softly singing to him. My how I wanted a baby for our own.

"You will make a good daddy someday Kyle," Michael says looking at Kyle.

"We have talked about it and have decided that once we have our degrees we will pursue it. Maybe you can put us I touch with the proper sources when we are ready," Kyle says.

"You mean it babe," I asked. " Can we really get a baby of our own then?"

"Yep," was all he said. I have to expand that man's vocabulary.

May 1974

Well finally, graduation was upon us. It had been a long hard four years but we both made it and were graduating tops in our fields. I stood there looking at Kyle as he came out with his cap and gown on and he looked very sexy. Graduation was long, boring and very hot but we survived it. Carlos and Jack became a couple and Jack was taking him with him back to England. Carlos had no family so he was thrilled to finally have one. Jack had told him that his dad knew about them and even though he did not understand about being gay, he was happy that his son was happy. Steve and Michael put us in touch with the private adoption agency they used. We filled out what seemed like mountains of forms. We were told that there are many unwed girls out there who were pregnant and did not want to keep them for various reasons. We met with attorney John Quincy III and he told us about a girl that was pregnant and wanted to give her baby up for adoption. She was fourteen and her parents were mad as hell at her for being pregnant let alone having had sex. He had told her that he had a couple that wanted to adopt her baby. I asked John,

"Does she know that we are a gay couple?"

"Oh no and she will not either if you want this baby," he said rather sternly. "Being gay is one thing but trying to adopt is another. We will fly to British Columbia when the time is ready and pick up the baby. She is due around Christmas and I have a judge that will legalize the adoption for a fee.

"Is this legal John?" I asked him with concern in my voice. "I don't want to loose my baby because of some legal technicality."

"Don't worry Josh, it is all above board and legal. The mother is the only one that will not know you are a gay couple. Maybe someday, gay and lesbian couples will be able to adopt but right now, it is unheard of.

January 1975

It was a Sunday morning and we were having our coffee when the phone rang.

"Hello," I said.

"Joshua, I have great news. She finally had the baby and it's a boy. We leave tomorrow morning at six forty five for Vancouver. I have you both booked, we meet the judge at the airport and sign the papers, and you re-board with the baby boy and fly back to Toronto. I will take about an hour between flights. The judge has been paid and all our ducks are in a row except for the name. So congratulations my man, you are a dad." He said as a proud grandpa would.

"Oh my God a name. We don't have one for a boy. We will have to call you back with that." I told him hanging up the phone.

"We're a dad babe. She finally had the baby and it's a boy."

"You serious bud she finally had the baby?" He asked me.

"Yes this morning, early and we fly out tomorrow for Vancouver." I told him squeezing him and kissing him. Then my mind started into overdrive.

"Oh my God, what will we name him?" I asked. "We aren't ready for him to come home yet with the crib to put together and diapers to buy." My brain was going into melt down.

"Calm down bud." He said. "I will assemble the crib this morning while you go buy whatever we will need for. for who?" As he paused not knowing, what we would name him. We had expected a girl and had the name picked out, Jamie Lyn Kerry-Fitzpatrick. Now we have to come up with a boy's name. We didn't have a clue what to name a boy. We both didn't want a junior and we were stumped. Then Kyle says,

"How about after you father bud," he asked me.

"How could you even think of naming him after that bastard," I told him with anger in my voice.

"Listen to what I am saying Josh. How about your father," he said again emphasizing your father this time.

"You mean my real father babe," I asked with tears starting to fill my eyes.

"Yes him. It will be like a living legacy to the man the gave you life." He said tenderly. "What was your father's name?"

"Dylan James Kerry," I told him.

"I like that and we can call him DJ for short." He said with a glow in his eyes.

"Dylan James Kerry-Fitzpatrick I like that." I said still with tears now falling down my cheeks. "He would have liked that I hope. So it is settled," I said and went to call the lawyer.

It was a cold clear morning and we were so excited about finally having a child of our own. I couldn't think of anything else but Dylan James. My heart was beating overtime as we boarded the plain and took our seats. Time crept at a snails pace and I wanted to scream to the pilot to take off. Finally, the announcement comes to please fasten all seat belts and make sure all tables are in their upright positions. The plane taxies to the runway and prepares to take off. I am holding Kyle's hand so tight I thought I would break it. He looks at me, smiles, and says.

"Excited babe or nervous."

"Both, I wish we were already there and back home." I said. "I am also nervous because I have never flown before." I tell him squeezing his hand tighter. We finally take off and climb to altitude. The fasten seat belt sign goes off and people start to move around. The stewardess comes over and asks if we would like a cocktail. We tell her thanks but we are having a baby and we don't think it wise to drink. She looks at me as if I have two heads or something. Then Kyle explains the trip. She smiles and congratulates us. He explains that we will be returning on a connecting flight an hour later after we land. She get up from her squatting position and moves onto the other passengers. The pilot comes on the speaker and tells us that there is a snowstorm in the Vancouver area and that the temperature is twenty-eight degrees. He also asks that we remain seated and seat belts fastened until we land. We are a half hour out of Vancouver when the plane drops thousands of feet and the interior lights go out plunging us into darkness.

"Kyle!" I scream. "What's happening?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen. This is the pilot we are going...

To be continued

I apologize for the cliff hangers but that's my style I like best. You can tell me your comments at randyhoward2@yahoo.com or online at Yahoo 360 randyhoward.