This work is copyright. I have given permission for a copy of this story to be placed on the Nifty Archives under the terms of their submission agreement. But This work may not be copied or archived onto any other website or newsgroup without the prior written permission of the author.
This story is fiction, it didn't happen, to the best of the author's knowledge no one in the story exists in real life.
If you have a problem with reading stories of a homosexual nature, then bugger off. Also you shouldn't read on if you are below the age of consent, or you have the misfortune to reside in an area where reading and downloading this kind of material is against the law.
Lars and Tom W have woven their usual magic, thanks you guys.
Chapter 14
"Now, Cubs, let me do the talking when we get there."
Chris Blake was driving his two brothers over to 'The Big House' on Saturday morning. They'd all been invited to go up to the house when they'd met Robbie and Carl the previous weekend.
"Yeah, no problem, Lion," Danny said.
Scott, as usual when faced with new situations, was nervous. Although he knew Carl from when he'd put in their new kitchen, he feared that something would go wrong during their visit. Chris, his big brother, lover and idol, was planning to come out to Robbie and Carl, telling the pair about their unusual relationship. The three brothers had been as sure as they could be that Robbie and Carl were a couple. However, what they didn't know, was that Robbie had already told Carl of his suspicions regarding the threesome being in a ménage-à-trois.
"Hi guys," Robbie said, seeing the threesome drive up. He was standing on his drive, polishing his new car, again. It had been delivered the day before, and Robbie loved it. Previously, he'd never been that interested in cars, but the black Isuzu Trooper was rather special. He and his lover had chosen it together, and Robbie hadn't stopped thanking Carl for helping him pick just the right vehicle.
"So it's arrived, then?" Chris said, getting out of his Saab.
"Yeah, it came yesterday, and isn't she a beauty?" Robbie smiled as he patted the bonnet.
"Certainly very smart," Chris said.
"You remembered to bring your swimming togs?"
"Oh yes," Danny said.
"Great. I've finished here. Carl and Ben are in the house somewhere. C'mon in and I'll give you the tour."
The three trailed behind Robbie into the house.
"We might as well start with the pool. You can drop your stuff off there. Though there's only two changing rooms, so you can either take it in turns, or get changed upstairs."
"That's okay," Chris said.
Robbie walked down the long hallway and pushed open the door to the pool area.
"Wow, cool!" Danny said, seeing the 25-metre pool.
"I know it's a bit of an extravagance, but I can blame my dad. He had it put in, and as he's been dead these past three months, he can hardly argue with me," Robbie said self-deprecatingly.
"Sorry to hear about that," Chris said.
"Oh, it's okay. It wasn't as if we weren't expecting it," Robbie said, remembering the warnings that his father had been given about cutting back on his workload.
"The changing rooms are over here?" Chris asked, pointing to the doors on the left of the large room.
"Yeah, that's them."
Chris went into one of the small rooms. Robbie was surprised to see both his brothers follow him in. He knew that they'd be rather tightly packed in there. However they came out almost immediately, minus their bags.
When Robbie showed the trio into the large dining room, he looked at the rather dowdy décor. The room was panelled in dark oak, and it smelt rather musty. "I'll have to get something done about this room. I hardly ever use it, it's just too big. We always eat in the kitchen. Though that's Sarah's domain, and she's in a bit of a tizzy at the minute, so we'll give the kitchen a wide berth, I think."
Scott wondered who Sarah was; maybe she was Ben's mother, that would certainly complicate things.
Sarah had been given the next week off to go on holiday with her sister Dot and her family. They always took the last week in August and spent it at a guesthouse in Whitby, a seaside town on the North Yorkshire coast. Sarah was busy cooking up and then freezing plenty of meals to keep her men-folk going whilst she was away. Robbie had tried to tell her that they'd cope, but Sarah wasn't convinced. She'd told them that they'd be eating take-away meals straight out of the containers the moment her back was turned.
Just as Robbie was guiding his guests past the kitchen, Sarah emerged, looking flushed. "Oh, Mr Robert, your guests have arrived. I'll have coffee ready for them in the morning room presently."
Robbie closed his eyes. 'Why is it always Mr Robert when I invite guests round? They'll think I'm Lord Muck.' "Thank you Sarah, but I'm sure we'll manage with a cold drink, it's rather warm outside."
"I have some lemonade in the fridge, Mr Robert, will that be satisfactory?"
"Yes, fine. I'll come in and get it." He brushed passed her and went into the kitchen before she could protest.
The dialogue between Sarah and Robbie had been rather amusing for the three visitors. At least it cleared up in Scott's head who Sarah was.
"Right, guys. We might as well go into the morning room then," Robbie said, emerging from the kitchen carrying a tray.
Robbie opened the door to reveal a pleasant-looking room, with light coloured tapestry-covered furniture and numerous end tables with lace doilies on them. He didn't use the room that much normally. Before Mrs Rowlands had started at the house, all the furniture had been covered in dustsheets to cut down on household maintenance. However, Sarah had soon insisted that the room be used again once the extra staff had arrived. Robbie wasn't all that fond of the room, because it always seemed to be so fussily decorated, he was never able to relax in there. This was because his mother had always insisted he not put his feet up on the furniture, as it was so light coloured and was easily marked. The room didn't have a TV or Hi-Fi in it, either. Though he had to admit it did make a pleasant space to entertain guests.
At the mention of lemonade, Danny had expected a clear, overly sweetened carbonated concoction; therefore he was surprised to be given a glass of yellow fluid, which wasn't fizzy. It tasted great though.
Once they were seated, Robbie asked, "So, Scott, have you chosen your car yet?"
"Oh yes, I'm getting a Peugeot 206." These were the first words he spoke since he'd come in.
"Oh right. Have you ordered it?"
"Yeah, it comes next week," Scott replied, taking a sip from his glass. He had to hold it tight because he was still a bit nervous at what could happen.
Carl and Ben were in the drawing room. Robbie had suggested to Carl that he be allowed to greet the trio when they arrived, and broach the sensitive subject of their relationship. Carl had readily agreed, frightened that he'd somehow put his foot in it.
After a few minutes of small talk, Robbie thought he better go first. "Listen guys, I'd like to tell you something, but could I please ask you to keep what I tell you a secret?"
"Yes, of course," Chris said. He was pretty sure where Robbie was taking the conversation.
"Right, thanks." Robbie set down his glass and wiped his hands, which had begun to sweat. "I've known Carl for almost twenty years. We met at school, but just before I went off to Oxford, we parted on quite bad terms. After university I lived for some years in London. Meanwhile Carl got married and had Ben, though unfortunately (Robbie didn't think the word 'unfortunately' matched his true feelings, but it would have to do.) he got divorced. When I came back to live up here, our paths crossed again, and well, things developed." Robbie had had a speech all worked out in his head, but he'd forgotten it all.
Chris spoke, "It's okay, Robbie, I understand, we understand." Chris, who was sitting in the middle of a three-seater sofa, reached for his brothers' hands. "I understand because we're in kind of the same boat ourselves."
Robbie nodded. "Yes, although my gaydar isn't the best, I kind of picked up on the fact that you and your brothers were special to one another."
Chris showed momentary surprise; he thought that as a group, they managed to mask their feelings towards one another pretty well. "Oh, right. And, well, I have to ask, are you okay about us?"
"I wouldn't have invited you three up if I wasn't. I have to admit to being a bit surprised, but hey, love is a very special and precious thing, no matter in what form it comes. Yes, I and Carl are fine about it."
Scott, who had been digging his nails into his palms, relaxed.
"Thanks for that," Chris said. "Because we are a little, well, different, it's not easy for us to find people who accept us, and we can't go very many places to socialise."
"I understand. Carl and I went out last weekend, and we were as open with one another as we dared, but it wasn't easy. So I can imagine that things are even worse for you guys."
"Things aren't always easy, no," Danny said.
"Well, that's one of the reasons why Carl and I invited you round. We don't know many gay people here, and neither of us are out to our parents, so we have to be careful."
"Thanks for trusting us with your secret," Chris said.
"And thank you for trusting us with yours, even though I'd kind of worked it out."
"Well, as Chris said, we'd worked you two out, as well," Scott said, relieved that there wouldn't be any unpleasantness.
They all began to laugh as the tension which had been building up in the room was suddenly released.
"Who's for a swim, then?" Robbie asked.
"Great," Chris said standing up.
"I'll just go and get Carl and Ben," Robbie said, heading for the door.
"I take it Ben's okay with you two being lovers?" Chris asked.
Robbie laughed, "Oh yes, very much so. I'll tell you all about it sometime. And don't worry, he's okay about you three, too."
"Thanks," Chris said walking up to Robbie and treating him to a hug. The other two Blake brothers then did the same.
In the hallway, Robbie told his guests to go along to the pool while he went into the drawing room.
Carl saw Robbie's smiling face as soon as he entered. "It's all okay then?" Carl asked.
"Yeah, they are all together as we expected, and they'd also picked up on us, too."
Carl grew a little pensive. If Chris and his brothers had spotted what he and Robbie were, then other's must surely be able to do the same.
"It's okay, Car, we aren't that obvious. It's really a case of taking one to know one." He went over to Carl and rubbed his shoulders to relax him.
"Yeah, you're right, as ever," Carl smiled.
"Well, they're just getting changed in the pool room, so are we gonna join them?"
"Cool, more playmates," Ben said, rising from his seat.
After splashing about for an hour or so, Chris got out of the pool and sat on one of the pool side chairs.
Robbie, seeing him get out, followed. "Everything okay, Chris?"
"Oh yeah, Robbie, it's great."
"Please call me Rob, all my friends call me that. Well, Sarah calls me Robbie, or as you witnessed, Mr Robert, whenever we have visitors," Robbie chuckled.
"Thanks," Chris laughed. He was touched that Robbie viewed him as his friend already. "I just like to watch my brothers having fun," he said, watching them enjoying an earnest game of tag. "Because of what we are, it isn't easy for us to relax around other people, and you don't know how grateful I am to you for this."
"Oh, you're very welcome," Robbie said, squeezing Chris's shoulder. He couldn't help noticing how muscular Chris was. "I get uncomfortable about the fact that I have all this," Robbie said, sweeping his hand across the scene. "So I'm really chuffed that I can share it with like-minded friends. And don't forget as I said, Carl and I haven't really got that many friends, either, so you're doing us a favour, too. Another gay couple usually come on a Saturday too, but they had to work today." Robbie gave Chris a few brief details about Ralph and Ian, telling him that they originally came just to service the pool, but they were soon invited to stop for the afternoon to socialise as well.
"Oh right, it's good to have like minded friends about you," Chris observed.
"Look, I think I speak for Carl too," Robbie watched his lover take Ben up in his arms and throw him back into the water, creating a big splash, "when I say that I'd like to make a regular thing of it, us getting together like this, I mean. Please don't worry about Ralph and Ian, they've, well, they're kind of an unusual coupling, themselves." Robbie always observed the gay code about not revealing too much about other couples, without having their consent to do so. "So if you feel comfortable about two other people knowing about you three, then please, you're very welcome to come round every Saturday if you like."
"I'd love to, we'd love to. Scott goes off to Uni in just over a month, I know he has reservations about going, so being able to come here and relax will be good for him."
"Right. I remember I couldn't wait to get out of Greenville when I was Scott's age."
"Yeah," Chris said, wondering if he should open up. Then he realised that this was one of the reasons why they were there, to broaden their horizons. "Scott's scared that when he goes off to Liverpool, he'll get forgotten about, by me and Danny, I mean. That's one of the chief problems with our kind of relationship."
"Liverpool isn't that far," Robbie said.
"That's true. It was one of the reasons why I bought him the car, so he could get home as often as he wanted to."
"Well, the workload, particularly in the first year might not be that heavy. It might be possible for him to come home one night in the week if he doesn't have an early lecture the next day."
"I hadn't thought of that. Yeah, I hope his timetable will allow that. What Scott doesn't realise is that he's an essential part of us, it won't be the same for me or Danny without him."
Robbie nodded. "The first thing I noticed when I saw you at the car showroom, was how much you look after your brothers."
Chris smiled. "Yeah, I do, I like doing it, and they like letting me, too. Seeing them happy like this, it means a lot to me, it really does."
"Chris, c'mon back in," Danny called out.
"Better do as he says," Chris said, standing up.
"Back in a minute. I'll just go and get out the pool toys." Robbie went into the small pump room where the inflatables were housed.
"Oh, wicked!" Danny said, when Robbie tossed in a couple of beach balls and a Lilo air mattress.
"It's a bit more exciting than your rubber duck in the bath isn't it, Danny?" Chris said, seeing the smiling face of his brother.
"You bet, Lion."
Carl looked up then. He'd heard Danny use that term before.
The puzzled expression on Carl's face must have shown to Chris. "We've kind of got pet names for one another. Danny and Scott like to call me their lion, and I refer to them as my cubs."
"Ah, that's nice," Ben said. He was a little in awe of Chris if the truth were known. He loved his dad and Uncle Rob to bits, but Chris would run a close third in his book.
The six of them played in the pool for another hour, until Robbie decided it was time to get something to eat. He'd pushed aside Sarah's objections about catering the meal; he told her that as it was a nice day outside, and goodness knows how few they'd have left that summer. He was going to use the barbecue. Though Sarah had put her foot down about making a salad. Robbie had intended on buying a pre-packed one from the supermarket, though after one of Sarah's most chilling looks, he relented to her preparing it.
"Chris, can you guys stop for tea?" Robbie asked. He'd quickly realised that Chris tended to speak for the group as a whole. Whenever something affected he and Carl, they usually arrived at any decision jointly, but this didn't seem to be the case with the Blake's. Though Robbie had to concede that the two younger brothers didn't seem to mind Chris making the decisions.
"Are you sure, Rob?" Chris said from the other side of the pool.
"Course I'm sure. Barbecued meat okay?"
"Great, thanks," Chris said, dunking Scott under the water.
Within half an hour, Robbie called his guests to come and eat. They pulled out some of the chairs and tables from the pool room, and sat in the warm sunshine eating their food.
"This is great," Danny said, tucking in. "The meat's so tender."
"It's the marinade Sarah uses," Robbie said, swallowing a mouthful of pork chop.
"What's in it?" Danny asked.
"It's a state secret, I think. Sarah guards her recipes closely."
"I know what's in it," Ben said. "Sarah told me."
To the group Carl said, "Sarah's really taken Ben under her wing, she's training him up nicely."
Ben told the group that it was mainly sherry, soy sauce, and garlic. "Though Sarah puts in a bit of sugar, that really helps, too."
The group stayed around the pool for the rest of the afternoon. Although Danny wanted to go swim again, he was advised that this would not be a good idea on a full stomach.
"So erm, if it's not too personal, how did you three know that, well, erm . . . ." Carl trailed off.
"Well, it started with Scott and me," Chris said. "I'd known for a long time that Scott was sweet on me."
"I loved you totally," Scott interjected.
"Yes, that's true, he did. But I wasn't sure if it was right. I know I loved him just as much, I've always protected him, even when we were little, but, well, you know, incest is rather taboo. Erm, are we okay talking about this in front of Ben?"
Ben rolled his eyes.
"Yes, so long as you don't, erm, get graphic," Carl said, giving his son a squeeze.
"No, no, I won't do that. What we do in the privacy of our bedroom stays there."
"Yeah, that's the same for us," Robbie put in.
"Well," Chris resumed. "A couple of years ago, it all got too much, I couldn't hold in my feelings for Scott any longer. So I told him that I loved him."
"And what happened?" Carl asked.
"He fainted."
The group laughed, even Scott found it funny, though he also went red.
"And, umm, where does Danny come in? He isn't your biological brother, is he?"
"No, he isn't." Chris looked over at Danny, silently asking for permission to tell his rather painful story. Danny nodded almost imperceptibly, before scooting closer to Chris.
"Well, Danny was an orphan, he joined my rugby team, I'm now the captain of the Raiders."
"Yes, I know," Carl said.
"Well, one of the reasons why Danny took up rugby and also weight training, was to fight off some of the other boys in the children's homes, and I'm sorry to say some of the staff, too." Chris looked at Carl silently telling him that in view of Ben's presence, he wouldn't give any more details.
"Thanks," Carl said quietly.
"Well, when Danny got made redundant, he got drunk, Scott and me found him, and, well, basically he came out to us, and told me that he loved me. I'd known for a while that Danny had feelings for me, but back then I was still working out in my head if I could pursue a relationship with Scott, so I didn't do anything about it. But with Danny being drunk, we couldn't leave him in his bed-sitter, so he moved in with us, and he's never left."
"Where did you get made redundant from?" Carl asked.
Danny looked at Chris. "Erm, the glassworks," Chris said apologetically.
Robbie's stomach clenched.
"It's okay, Rob," Chris said, trying to reassure his new friend. "Mum got Danny a job at the hospital, and he likes it up there."
"Thanks," Robbie said quietly. "From what I know, it wasn't an easy decision dad made to let some of the workers go. The stress of it all, plus the falling orders at the time, caused him to suffer a series of heart-attacks, the last one being fatal."
"Sorry," Chris said.
"Oh, don't worry, it's all water under the bridge, now. Although I own 51% of the factory, my sister being the other shareholder, I don't have anything much to do with the place. All I know is computers."
To get the conversation moving again, Chris asked, "You said that you both were still not out to your parents? My dad died when I was very small, but mum knows about us. She, along with our surrogate dads, I mean Larry Finch and his partner Eric Townsend, the GP and dentist, have been our strongest supporters. Without them, well, we'd have struggled."
"Your mum re-married, didn't she?" Carl said, remembering the three going off to their mum's house for meals while their kitchen was out of commission.
"Oh yes, to Barry. It took him a little while to come to terms with us, but he's fine about it all now. I think he realised he'd have to get used to it, otherwise he'd have lost mum, who as I said has always been on our side."
"Actually we're coming out to our parents, or in my case parent and sister tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it, but it's something Carl and I have agreed we have to do if we want to move on."
"Oh right. I can't really offer any advice. Although mum was a bit hesitant when we told her about Scott and me, she soon warmed up. I was amazed at how well she took to Danny, too," Chris said, giving Danny a squeeze.
The Blake's stayed until the early evening, they'd told Carl and Robbie how much they'd enjoyed themselves, and looked forward to their next visit.
Robbie had rung his sister Beatrice earlier in the week, telling her that he had something important to tell both her and his mother. "I'm going round to mum's bungalow on Sunday for lunch. Erm, can you be there as well, Bea?"
"You sound nervous, Robert." She'd never got used to the idea that he preferred Rob or Robbie; he'd long since become used to being referred to by three different names.
"Erm, yeah. Look, will it be a problem to get time off from the stables?" Beatrice worked at a livery stables, and Sunday was often their busiest day, what with all the out of town rich girls coming over for lessons, or to visit their horses who were stabled with Bea and Miss Brighton, the stable owner.
"No, Margaret owes me some time. I'll be there, though you've got me wondering what it's all about. You're not ill or something, are you?"
"No, Bea, I'm not. See you there about one?"
Early Sunday afternoon saw Robbie driving his new car across town to his mother's bungalow. Gloria had been rather surprised when Robbie had asked himself to lunch, along with Beatrice. She didn't see enough of her children, so she was delighted to have them pay her a visit.
"Come in, love. Dinner will be about half an hour yet. The joint is a bit bigger than I thought it was, so it'll take a while longer to cook."
"No problem, mum." Robbie wasn't all that hungry if the truth be known.
"Beatrice is already in the front room, go on through."
Robbie went along the tiny hallway to the front room, to greet his sister. Every time he saw her, he swore that Beatrice increasingly began to resemble the creatures she looked after, even down to the flaring of her nostrils when she got worked up. Robbie suppressed his thoughts and went to hug her.
"You look well," she told him. The last time the two had spoken was after the reading of their father's will.
"Oh, I'm fine, Sis. You look good, too."
"Oh, I'm as fit as a fiddle."
'Or a racehorse,' Robbie thought.
"Now then." Gloria came into the room rubbing her hands. "I am honoured to have both my children together under one roof, aren't I?"
"Yes, we should do it more often," Bea said, then turning to her brother, "How's life up at Foster Towers?" Beatrice shared her mother's dislike for the family home.
Robbie had planned to wait until after the meal, before he delivered his news, but he didn't think he'd be able to keep his food down. "Well, erm, I think things are going very well."
"You think?" Beatrice asked.
"Yeah, mum, will you come and have a seat, there's something I need to tell you."
"Okay, love," Gloria said perching herself on the edge of a chair.
"Right." Robbie cleared his throat. "I suppose I should have told you this a long time ago, but well, there never seemed to be a right time really. Plus the fact that I'm a coward." Robbie stared at the carpet; he couldn't meet anyone's eyes. He cleared his throat again. "I've found someone I want to share my life with, we are very happy together, and I love him very much. Yes, it's a him, I'm gay."
Silence descended on the room. Robbie remained with his eyes downcast for what seemed to him to be a long time. Gathering his courage he looked up, what he saw surprised him, his mother was smiling, and his sister was trying hard not to burst out laughing. "What?"
"Robert." His mother stood up and came over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I've known for years, love. Mothers tend to know these things. You never once brought a girl back to the house. When your dad in his typically lack of tact fashion brought up the subject of girls, you'd change the subject."
"Dad knew?" Robbie said amazed.
"Yes, love."
"Did he, erm, did he mind?"
Gloria shook her head. "He, like me just wanted the best for you, love."
Robbie burst into tears. "I was too frightened to tell him. I always wanted to, but I never wanted to disappoint him."
"You were never a disappointment to him or me. Okay, he might have wanted you to join the business, but I never really wanted that for you. After all, look what it did for your dad."
Robbie dried his tears. "Patrick always told me that you'd understand."
"Patrick is your, erm, young man, then?" Gloria asked, not quite knowing what term to use.
"No, well, he was. Patrick died just over six years ago. We lived in my flat in London, we had four very happy years together."
"Oh, love." Gloria wrapped her arms around her son. "And you went through all the grieving on your own. Robert, I should be angry with you for not telling me back then. Did Mrs G know?"
"Yes. Though she now lets me call her Sarah."
"Bloody hell," Beatrice said, "I didn't think anyone would be able to get that one out of the nineteenth century."
Robbie chuckled, "She even calls me Robbie. Or at least she does when we don't have visitors."
Gloria picked up on the 'we'. "You told us that you've got someone new?"
"Let me guess," Beatrice said. "It's Carl Powers, isn't it?"
Robbie was surprised, but managed to nod his head.
"I had a crush on him when I was a girl."
Robbie laughed, "Yeah, so did I. Erm, when I was a boy, I mean."
"Well, you've got good taste in men, brother of mine, I have to give you that."
"Erm, thanks," Robbie blushed. "Earlier, why were you trying to hold in a giggle?"
"Because years ago, when Carl would come over, as I was mooning after him, I saw you doing exactly the same thing."
"He never picked up on the fact that I was in love with him back then, and I'm assuming he didn't realise you were after him, either."
"No, well, typical man," Beatrice said. "Though what eighteen year old youth would look twice at a thirteen year old girl?"
"Oh, I feel so much better now I've told you about me," Robbie said, feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Though he had more than a twinge of regret that he'd never had the courage to speak to his father about his sexuality.
Patrick had understood Robbie's reluctance to come out. His own parents had struggled to accept him when he came out to them. When he told them of his HIV status, they freaked, and did their best to disown him, thinking he'd infect everyone merely by being in the same house as them.
Robbie realised that he could have brought Patrick home to see his parents, and they would have been fine about it all. He tried not to think of that; he pushed the more pleasant thoughts of how his family now knew about him, and how they accepted him, to the front of his mind.
"I think the dinner should be about ready now. I know you always enjoyed a nice bit of lamb, Beatrice," Gloria said, standing up and leading her children into the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Carl was driving his van towards Morgan Smith's house to leave Ben there, before going to his parents' place to drop the bombshell. Carl thought it best that Ben not be at his mum and dad's when he came out.
So Ben had taken up the offer, which had been made on frequent occasions during the summer, to spend the day with his old school friend. Ben had put off going to see Morgan a couple of times already that summer, thinking he'd be bored out of his brains in his friend's rather uninteresting company. When Morgan had rung up a third time to invite Ben round, he was surprised but delighted when Ben said yes.
Ben really wanted to be with his dad, not because of the possibility of witnessing a disagreement; Ben hated it when people he loved didn't get on. No, Ben wanted to be there to support and comfort his father, should things not go well. However, Carl had put his foot down, telling Ben that he couldn't go with him.
"Okay, son, here we are," Carl said, stopping the van.
Ben was reluctant to get out, not just because he wasn't looking forward to the next few hours with his friend, but he was also worried about how his dad would handle things. "Dad, please don't get too worked up at granddad, if he, erm, doesn't understand."
"I'll try, son."
"And dad?"
"Yes, son?"
"I love you very much," Ben said, before kissing his father's cheek and leaving the van. "Come back for me as soon as you can, Dad, doesn't matter if you're here in half an hour, I'll be ready to go."
"Thanks." Carl couldn't say any more through his tightened throat. He just didn't know what he'd done to deserve a kid as great as Ben.
"Hi, son, you're a bit early?" Nora said when Carl walked through the back door, closing it behind him. "Where's our Ben?"
"Oh, he's staying at a mates house for the day."
"Oh, right. Have you got his new school uniform bought yet? He'll be starting at St Winifred's a week tomorrow, you know."
"Ah, no, I haven't got round to it." He thought he'd ask Robbie to take care of it for him.
"You haven't got long, love."
"It's okay, I'll get it sorted." Carl really didn't want to be talking about Ben's new school uniform, when he had his mind on much bigger things. Carl knew the best time to drop the bombshell would be after lunch, just before his mother rose from the table to do the washing up, and while his dad was puffing away on his post-lunch pipe. Both of them would be at their most relaxed at that point.
Going into the front room, Carl sat with his dad for a while and watched TV with him. They exchanged a few words, but Carl wasn't really in a talkative mood, and it wasn't easy to compete with the blaring television, anyway.
After about half an hour, Nora called them both to the kitchen table. Carl ate, making the odd comment as necessary; his family were never great dinnertime conversationalists. The food had no taste as far as Carl was concerned; he put some salt on the food, despite his mother telling him that she'd put plenty in when she'd cooked it. The additional salt didn't make that much difference to Carl's poor appetite, however.
"Not hungry, son?" Stan observed when he spied Carl just moving the food around on his plate. "You're not coming down with anything, are you?"
"No, dad, I'm just not that hungry today, I had a late breakfast."
Carl had decided to spend that night back at his house with Ben. Robbie understood that his lover was nervous about coming out, and he had recognised that he needed to be alone. Robbie couldn't help but have a pang of fear that Carl wouldn't go through with telling his parents, and somehow slide back into denial of his true feelings. He hid this fact from Carl, though, he knew that Carl had enough to deal with.
That Saturday night, Ben and Carl had sat on their sofa. Ben told Carl that although he was over the moon that he and Robbie had got together, he admitted to missing those special times when father and son snuggled up on the couch watching TV together.
Carl hadn't been able to settle down to sleep. When Ben used the toilet at 2 am, he'd seen his dad's bedroom light was still on, so he opened the door, silently got into the double bed and moved next to his father.
"You don't have to tell them, Dad, if it's too hard."
"Thanks son, I do, I can't put it off any longer."
"Okay, well, I'm gonna sleep here with you tonight, cause you need someone to cuddle up to."
"I love you, son."
"And I love you too, dad. It'll be alright, try not to worry." Ben kissed his dad's cheek and reached up to pull the chord to extinguish the light.
"You alright, love?" Nora asked pulling Carl back to the present.
"Yeah. I'll just leave this, if it's okay."
"Your mum went to a lot of trouble cooking that food, and it's a shame to see it go to waste." Stan's upbringing had always taught him not to waste food. He'd grown up in a rather large family where food was scarce.
"Oh, leave him be, Stan. He don't look all that clever." Nora reached over and put her hand on Carl's forehead. "You don't have a temperature anyway."
"No," Carl swallowed. He put down his knife and fork, he couldn't stand it any longer, he had to tell them now. "Mum, dad, there's something I've got to tell you. You won't like it, but I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do about that."
"It's not our Ben, is it?" Nora went into immediate grandmother worry mode.
"No it's not Ben, he's fine." Carl took a long look at both of his parents. They'd brought him up pretty well considering. He saw his mother sitting there looking worried, her work-worn hands clenching and unclenching. Carl knew that she didn't have the happiest of lives, having to bring him up whilst keeping house and working as a sales clerk in a shop. She didn't have the best of marriages, either. However she plodded on, doing her best with the cards that she'd been dealt.
Carl then turned to his father. He saw a man who had been both physically and emotionally strong in his day. Carl had done his level best to live up to his father's expectations of him. He'd tried to mould himself into his father's image. He saw a man frustrated by his Parkinson's disease, the condition robbing him of his livelihood. Stan was no intellectual; he used his hands, or at least he had until they became too unsteady to allow him to work. Carl knew how impotent that made his dad feel. This was one of the reasons why Stan wasn't the easiest of men to get along with.
Carl opened his mouth again. "You know that since Maureen and I split up, I've not managed to find anyone else. Well, a little while ago I found someone, that someone has made me feel happier than I think I ever have done before."
"Oh son, that's wonderful!" Nora said, clasping her hands together. She thought Carl was going to give them bad news. "You'll have to bring her round to meet us, what's her name, do we know her?"
"No mum, dad." Carl looked at them steadily before dropping his eyes to the half eaten meal on his plate. "You see, I'm in love with a man, I'm in love with Rob Foster."
The room fell totally silent. Nothing happened for about a minute, then Carl heard the scraping of a chair. Looking up, he saw his father heading away from the table. Carl turned to his mother, she wore a confused expression on her face. "I love him very much, mum, looking back I always have."
"But, I don't understand, you married Maureen?"
"I know mum. I loved her, but there was always something missing with her. Don't get me wrong, marrying her got me Ben, who is the most precious thing in my world, but, oh, I don't have the right words. I didn't feel complete when I was with Maureen."
"And you do with Rob?"
Carl nodded. "It's like, it's like . . ." Carl struggled to come up with an adequate definition. "It's like the difference between a black and white and a colour photograph. There's just so much more with Rob."
Nora didn't say anything; she really didn't understand. "I better go and see to your dad," she eventually said rising from the table. Carl went in after her. They found Stan sitting in the chair stony-faced.
"Dad, oh dad, I'm sorry." Carl ran over to his father and wrapped his arms around him.
"I've failed you. If I'd have been harder on you, then maybe you wouldn't have turned out as a, a, a poof!"
"No, dad, no, that isn't true. You were always hard on me, I think too hard sometimes," Carl said, remembering numerous beatings he'd received as a child.
"But it's my fault," Stan continued.
"No, it isn't, it's nobody's fault. Look, you brought me up to be a good person, someone you could be proud of, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Dad, you might not think so, but I am a good person. I'm a good dad to Ben, you can see that he's a good kid, he's never disrespected anyone has he?"
"No, son, he's a grand little lad. But what does he think of what you are? I don't think it's right he should be living with you and, and, and him!"
Carl removed his arms from around his father. He tried to remain calm, remembering what Ben had said about not getting angry. "Ben loves me very much, he fully understands and accepts who I am. His last words to me as I dropped him off today were 'Dad, I love you.'" Carl fought down his emotions.
Stan remained silent.
"Look, I know it isn't easy for you to understand what I am, God knows it took me long enough to work it out for myself. Look at it this way, do you want me to be happy?"
"Yes, but not with . . ."
"No dad, just answer the first bit. You want me to live a happy life, don't you?"
"Yes," Stan said, biting off the last part of his statement.
"I tried to live the sort of life you wanted me to, dad. I can't say I was unhappy with Maureen, but with Rob, oh, it's so much better. I'm really very happy with Rob."
"But it's wrong, you can't be a, a . . ." Stan couldn't find the right word, he was so upset.
"A gay man. I know it's a lot to ask you to face, dad, but you're gonna have to. I love you and respect you, but I've got to live my life my own way."
Stan fell silent again; he just couldn't comprehend why his son had decided to become 'one of them'.
"Look, I think I better be going now, you need time to think. Dad, whatever you might think of me, I love you, don't ever forget that."
Carl left the room, his mother following him. "Your dad will need time, son, it's a lot for him to cope with."
"I know, mum, it wasn't easy for me to accept it, either. But honestly, I love Rob very much, I only realised the other day that I always did. He's a good man."
"I know he is, son. I wish he hadn't have hurt you back then, but he is a good man."
"Well, there was a reason why we broke up. I'll tell you about it another time, but we've worked all that out now."
"Okay, love." Nora stood on her tip-toes and kissed her son's cheek.
"You okay about all of this?" Carl hoped she was. He needed at least one parent to be on his side.
"It's a facer, I have to say that. I never thought in a million years that my son would be a," she struggled for the right word, "homosexual, but Carl, I carried you for nine months, I gave birth to you, I changed your nappies. You're my son, and although I don't understand the choice you've made, I still love you."
Carl didn't want to go into why he hadn't 'chosen' his current path; he was just thankful that he hadn't been rejected. "Thanks mum, that means a lot."
"That's alright. I better go back in and see to your dad now. He'll come round, love, just give him time."
Carl kissed his mother on the cheek and left the house.
As Ben had predicted, he was bored. Things were okay during dinner, though Morgan's parents seemed a little strange to him. They hardly ever spoke to one another; Ben witnessed Morgan's mother, Sue, ask Morgan, "Would you ask your dad to pass the salt?" The meal, which was well prepared, tasted much nicer than the one Ben would have eaten at his grandma's, but the tension in the air didn't help to settle him.
Ben helped Mrs Smith with the washing up, which seemed to please her. However Ben knew that he had several hours of time to fill in Morgan's 'scintillating' presence. Morgan had taken Ben up to his room; they'd talked about their new schools. Morgan told his friend that he wasn't that happy about starting at the comprehensive. He feared being bullied by all the bigger kids; he just hoped that he'd be able to merge into the background and become invisible. Though he kept those thoughts to himself.
Ben wanted to ask Morgan what had been going on with his parents at the dinner table, but thought it best not to say anything. In truth Morgan had begged his parents not to argue in front of his friend. Mr and Mrs Smith were heading towards a rather messy divorce, but neither one would agree to move out of the family home. Both had agreed to put their differences aside in front of their son's friend. They realised that Morgan hardly ever brought anyone back home, and despite their animosity towards one another, they didn't want to ruin things for their son.
The two boys decided to play a game of chess; that at least passed some time. Ben kept surreptitiously glancing at his watch. 'Surely dad isn't still at granddad's?' he kept asking himself. Once they'd finished a game, Ben winning easily, Ben suggested they watch the TV, hoping that they could find something that would prevent them from having to talk.
Carl had returned to Robbie's house, only to discover that his lover was still at his mother's. He didn't think he ought to go down there, just in case his presence made things more awkward. So he sat in the kitchen telling Sarah about the events at his parents'.
"Well, at least your mum was okay about it, and I'm sure your dad will come round, given time," Sarah concluded. She was going off on a week's holiday first thing the next morning, and only had half an ear on what Carl was telling her.
"Yeah, I wonder how Rob's getting on at his mother's?"
"Well, if you ask me, Mrs Gloria already knows. She always struck me as someone who knew what was going on around her."
"My mum didn't have a clue, it was a real shock to her."
Sarah had decided to bury the hatchet as far as young Carl was concerned; Robbie loved him, and it seemed that Carl was genuine in his affections towards him. She saw how cut up Carl was, so she stood up, Carl also rose to his feet, and they spent a couple of minutes hugging one another.
When they broke apart Sarah asked, "Isn't it time you were picking Ben up? I know he wasn't looking forward to spending the whole day at his friend's."
Carl looked up at the clock. "Yeah, I think I ought to go for him now." He went into the hallway, where he spied a smiling Robbie coming through the door. The two spent a few minutes comparing notes. Robbie sympathised with Carl, but told him that it had gone pretty much as they'd expected. Carl was glad that Robbie had had an easier time of it.
"Come on, let's both go and collect him. Then we can go down the pub for an hour or so. I'll stick to orange juice, you look as though you need a drink," Robbie said, squeezing his lover's hand.
"Thanks, I sure could do with a couple inside me."
As they drove to Morgan's house Robbie said, "Oh, you remember back when you used to come up to the house when we were teenagers?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, it turns out that I wasn't the only one mooning after you."
"Huh?"
"My sister Beatrice told me today that she also had a crush on you."
Despite his trying day, Carl couldn't help laugh out loud at the thought of having two people in love with him, and being totally unaware of it.
To be continued.