The Halls of Academe

THE HALLS OF ACADEME, PART SEVEN by K. Nitsua. Copyright 2005 by the author.

I didn't have much time for the next few weeks after Drew's departure to mourn his absence--there was too much work to be done as the beginning of fall term approached. The immediate task was to find a temporary replacement for the following year. I finally hired a graduate student and teaching assistant from the large state university nearby, a pleasant, earnest young woman halfway through her dissertation.

Marcia and I met for lunch the day after the candidate's interview.

"Good hire," she said. "Promising scholarship, terrific teaching evals, nice person."

I nodded. We ate in silence for a few minutes.

"How are you doing?"

I knew what she was asking. "Oh, okay. It was hard for a while, but it's getting better. I miss him a lot, of course."

She nodded. "It was fun having someone of that caliber around, even it was just for a year. Kind of a wake-up call for the rest of us. I finally finished and submitted that article I've been working on forever."

I smiled. "Good timing. You're going to be pretty busy once school starts."

She grimaced. "Don't remind me." She shot me a sly look. "You know, now that Drew's gone..."

I patted her hand. "Sorry, but I'm still stepping down as chair. Hiring Patricia was my last official act."

Marcia shrugged. "Had to give it a try. Do you want me to initiate her paperwork? Might as well get started."

I had told myself not to expect any regular correspondence from Drew, so I was pleased to get an e-mail from him soon after the semester started.

"The book is out," he said. "I'm sending you a copy."

When it arrived I opened it. Drew had inscribed a message in front: "To Glenn, thanks for everything. Love, Drew." I was torn between being annoyed that it wasn't more personal and pleased that he had at least written the word "love," even if he couldn't say it to me.

Messages from him were infrequent that fall. I was glad, in a way, because it was easier for me not to dwell on his absence, at least during the days. Still, when I saw the e-mail from him a couple of weeks later, I opened it immediately.

Drew was in a chatty mood, talking about his new position. "Working with grad students is a bit of a change from Steelman, but I'm getting used to it. One of my colleagues here, I have to say, is quite extraordinary. And I'm not just talking about his intellect . Hope you'll be coming to the national convention this year. I can't wait to see you again and introduce Anton to you."

A hollow feeling rose in the pit of my stomach as I read the message. During the crisis last spring I had promised to give Drew some space. Though my brain knew most likely he was never coming back to Steelman, my heart had held out the hope that we could continue, in some fashion. Drew, it seemed, had other plans, and was wasting no time in putting them into action. Try as I might to rationalize that it hurt.

The next few days were difficult. During school hours my work kept me company but I couldn't work around the clock. In the evenings the house was silent and empty without him there. My empty bed was barren and uninviting. I found myself waking in the middle of the night, not being able to go back to sleep.

On top of everything else I was climbing the walls. It wasn't just Drew's intellectual company I was missing.

That weekend I went back to the park, knowing this time exactly why I was going. I hiked along the same back trail I had taken months earlier. I passed several other men but ignored all of them. Now that I was here I suddenly found myself not in the mood. After half an hour I decided to give up and leave. As I was walking back toward the trailhead and the parking lot, though, I saw him.

He was a short, dark-haired man, with a mustache he had probably grown to make his smooth, unlined face look older. Even so, he looked to be no more than in his mid-twenties. He was dressed in a form-fitting gray T-shirt and jeans, typical cruising wear that showed off his tight, muscular body.

He was standing in the woods, a little bit off of the trail so that he was in shadow, his thumbs hooked into his pockets. His gaze was direct and unmistakable. I stared back, my mouth slightly open, wondering if someone this young and attractive could possibly be interested in me.

He turned and walked further back among the trees, throwing a glance back over his shoulder. I felt the heat rise in me and made up my mind, stepping off the path to follow him.

"Excuse me," a low voice said behind me. I turned, startled. Another man stood on the trail, about the same age as my object of interest, though not as attractive. He was tall and lanky, dressed in polo shirt and shorts, with black hair and a neatly trimmed goatee. His eyes were framed by wire-rimmed glasses, giving him an owlish appearance.

I nodded quickly back at him and turned to follow the other man.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

I wheeled around. "Why the hell not?"

The man shook his head. "Vice cop."

"Really?" I said, surprised.

He nodded. "It's a sting operation. His friends are back there. You unzip, they nab you. I saw them take a couple of guys away in handcuffs a while ago."

"No kidding." I stepped back onto the path. "Well, thanks for telling me."

"No problem. Guess they got nothing better to do than hassle people."

"Guess not. We'd better get out of here." I started to walk past him but he put a hand on my arm.

"Do you have to leave?"

I snorted. "You just told me the place is full of cops."

He lowered his voice. "You have a place? I'd ask you back to my apartment, but I have a roommate."

This was moving faster than I'd intended. I was on the point of making some excuse but there was something about him, an urgency that matched mine. Against my will desire surged up, mixed with a peculiar excitement at the thought of outsmarting the police. "We can go in my car. I'll bring you back here."

"That'd be nice. My name's Jason, by the way, Jason Stedman. Pleased to meet you," he said, offering his hand. I said my name, suppressing a smile at his formality.

We crossed the parking lot and got in my car. We didn't talk much on the way home. I regretted my rash decision, though Jason seemed nice enough. It was one thing to go into the woods and impulsively relieve an unbearable need. Picking someone up and bringing him home was a much more calculated act. I didn't like what that said about me.

"You a professor?" Jason asked, when we entered my house.

"How did you know?" I replied, a bit startled that he had figured that out.

"Chronicle of Higher Ed," he said, pointing to a newspaper sitting on the table just inside my front door.

"Oh. Sorry, the house is a mess. I wasn't planning on company."

"Unexpected company's the best kind." Jason smiled and put his hand on my chest. "Thanks for inviting me."

I felt myself responding to his touch and it made me nervous. "Are you always this polite?"

Jason unbuttoned the top button of my shirt. His eyes were dark with desire. "Actually I'm not nearly as well-mannered with my clothes off."

He slipped his hand inside and found one of my nipples. I drew in my breath, and my cock suddenly came to life.

"I love older men, especially when they're as hot as you," Jason murmured as he pressed his lips to mine.

A few minutes later we were on my bed. Without his glasses Jason looked even younger. His body was lean and long, not at all like Drew's. His chest and stomach were dusted with fine dark hair. His arms and legs were corded with muscle, roped with veins. His cock was as slender as his body, as straight and as hard as only a young man's organ can be.

"You must exercise," I said.

"Distance running," Jason said as his lips roved down my chest. He looked up and grinned. "That and sex."

He took me into his mouth, running his hands up and down my thighs. I raised my knees and looked down, watching him work. My body liked what he was doing-I was pretty hard myself. It felt good to be wanted. I couldn't help letting out small murmurs of pleasure as he flicked his tongue around my crown and into the opening at the top of the head.

"You're good," I said.

He paused and smiled up at me. "Thanks, man," he said, before resuming his labors. In another half a minute or so I gasped and pulled away.

"Don't want to cum just yet. If I do we're through for the day."

Jason nodded. "I wouldn't want that. You have a great cock. I'd love it if you'd fuck me."

I was going to demur, until I remembered I still had a half-empty box of condoms in the medicine cabinet. Drew and I, of course, hadn't used them lately. I watched Jason as he went to get them. His butt was compact and muscular from his running.

He came back to the bed holding a foil packet. He tore it open and unrolled the rubber over my organ, and greased the outside with neat precise motions using the lube that I handed him. Then he straddled my body and took hold of my cock. A moment later I felt the squeezing warmth of his ass on my shaft. Jason's eyes widened and his mouth opened. He smiled at me.

"Just what the doctor ordered," he said, as he began to ride my erection, pumping his long thighs with quick, enthusiastic motions, jacking his own stiff cock at the same time, making his balls jiggle up and down.

I started thrusting up to meet his downstrokes, which got his vocal approval. Soon I sat up and turned him onto his back, bending him double underneath me as I drilled into him with long deep strokes.

Jason's eyes locked onto mine, his hand never stopping. "Yeah, fuck me. Oh yeah. Feels so good, your cock inside me. Going to shoot. Oh fuck, here it comes...Oh yeah," he groaned, as white spurts shot from his cock and across his body. A few minutes later I moaned in turn, my eyes tightly shut as I unloaded into the rubber inside him.

After a few minutes I rose to my knees, my cock still in him, his legs resting on my shoulders. My thighs ached from the unaccustomed exertion. "If those cops could see us now," I said, still panting.

Jason grinned, a drop of his cum clinging to his beard. "Score one for the sodomites."

The mindless desire that had carried me through the day had been satisfied. Suddenly I wanted this to be over. I pulled out, went into the bathroom and got rid of the condom. When I came back out with a towel Jason was still lying on the bed. He smiled and raised an arm in invitation, but I didn't take the hint. I tossed him the towel, picked up my clothes and started to dress.

"I'll take you back."

"Is it okay if I clean myself up a little first?" Jason asked.

I'd seen the hurt look pass across his face and felt ashamed. "Sure you can. There's another towel by the shower if you need it. Listen," I said, as he got up and walked toward the bathroom, "Thanks again for cluing me in on the sting."

Jason came over and hugged me. He really was a sweet guy. "Don't mention it. What would your students do without you?"

Back at the parking lot he turned to me. "I'd like to see you again, Glenn."

I shook my head, trying to figure out how to let him down gently. "I don't think so, Jason. I--well, I have a partner." At least in my mind.

"Oh." He turned and stared out the windshield. I had the feeling this wasn't the first time Jason had heard those words. "Well, seems like you guys have an open relationship. Maybe we could do a threesome sometime."

"Yeah, maybe." I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

"I'm a grad student at the University. Just go their web site and search under my last name. It's Stedman--S-T-E-D-M-A-N."

I nodded, wishing he'd leave. "Got it, Jason. Take care of yourself."

I breathed a sigh of relief when the car door finally slammed. As I was backing out to head toward the exit, I saw the young man Jason had stopped me from following emerge from the trail. I braked to a halt, curious. Another man was walking next to him. They were close together, and at first I thought he had picked up a trick, that Jason had been mistaken. Then they turned in a strange unison and I saw the glint of metal. The second man's hands were handcuffed behind his back.

I drew a bath when I got home. Soaking in the hot water was somehow comforting, as if I were cleansing myself of sin. And there was a lot of sin to be cleansed.

I mentally reviewed the catalogue of stupid things I'd done. I'd been unfaithful to Drew. I'd risked arrest as a sex offender. I'd used a nice boy as an object to get my rocks off, someone who deserved better. Altogether it had not been one of my finer days.

Dried off and dressed in a bathrobe, something I hadn't worn in a long time, I sat in my living room and picked up the picture of Drew and me together at the lake. I hadn't looked at it often these past few months, finding it too painful to think about happier times.

Tonight, though, something was different. The people in the photo seemed like two strangers. Drew and I had had something good, maybe even great. But it was gone. Making a fool of myself was not going to bring it, or him, back.

"Get it together," I said out loud. I put the photo down, got out a stack of blue books I should have started grading earlier that day and began reading.

I wrote to Drew a few days afterward, saying that I was looking forward to seeing him at the national conference, and to meeting his colleague.

After that escapade I stuck to more productive uses of my spare time. It finally sank in that Marcia taking over as chair meant that I had time to read things other than department budgets, committee meeting agendas and student papers. I read Drew's book. I grabbed time in the library, reading articles in journals I had previously merely skimmed. I pulled out the text of a presentation I had made several years previously, and thought about turning it into an article.

Almost before I knew it February rolled around, and I was on a plane heading for Chicago and the national conference. While I was waiting in the lobby of the downtown hotel to register, shifting my weight from one foot to another, I heard my name called. I turned to see Drew approaching, beaming, followed by another man. He hugged me hard, then stepped back and scanned me from head to toe with a critical eye.

"You," he announced, "Look terrific. Not being chair agrees with you."

"So do you," I said, which was the truth. Over his shoulder I caught the eye of his companion. "And this must be Anton."

Anton Messier was a well-groomed and very attractive black man. From the very first time Drew had written me about him I had wondered whether they were sleeping together. Now that I saw Anton in the flesh I was sure that was the case. Even so, it was hard to resist his charms. After a few minutes it was as if we were old friends.

The three of us went to dinner the next evening, after Anton had delivered his paper. Once or twice during the meal I caught Drew looking at me with a gentle, conspiratorial look on his face. I smiled back, though I wondered what was up.

Late that evening, while I was watching TV back in my hotel room, I heard a soft knock on the door. When I opened it there stood Drew and Anton, dressed casually. Anton was holding a bottle of Scotch and a tub of ice.

"How about a nightcap?" Drew said.

"Sure, what a nice surprise," I replied, letting them in.

We poured ourselves drinks and lounged, Drew and I stretched out on each of the two double beds, Anton sitting in the one easy chair. We swapped stories of university faculty and sexual harassment accusations.

"Speaking of which," I told Drew, "Nathan Lewis is back at school this year."

Drew rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me."

"He's actually been all right. Seems a lot happier. Says hello in the hallway. I heard he moved out of his father's house into his own apartment."

"That's a step in the right direction."

Conversation continued to flow as gently and easily as the liquor. On top of the wine I'd had at dinner it didn't take long until I was buzzed.

Eventually there was a lull in our chatter. Drew pulled his shirt out of his jeans, yawned and scratched his stomach. I found myself staring at the strip of taut, hairy skin that he was exposing, as well as the healthy bulge in his denims. I got nostalgic at the thought that not long ago I'd had that body for my own. For the first time that evening I was envious of Anton.

Drew caught my eye just then. He smiled at me, then cast a glance across the room.

"Excuse me. Nature calls." Anton got up, a bit unsteady, walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Jesus, it's hot in here," Drew said. "Mind if I get a bit more comfortable?" He kicked off his shoes. Thinking he was going to stop there, I was flabbergasted when he unbuckled his belt and began to peel off his jeans. I stared as he stripped down to a pair of skimpy, well-filled briefs.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded. Suddenly the front of my pants felt awfully tight.

Drew smirked. "Getting more comfortable, like I said."

"You do remember we're not alone, right?"

Before Drew could reply I heard the toilet flush, and the bathroom door opened. Out came Anton, carrying his clothes. I gaped at his glowing, muscular form, and what I saw between his powerful thighs.

They glanced at each other, then looked at me, wide grins on their faces. I said what we all already knew.

"You guys planned this."

Drew stood up and came over to my bed. Both he and Anton climbed onto the mattress and descended on me.

"We're going to ravish your body," Drew said, then caught himself. "Only if you let us, of course."

"Please, Dr. Reynolds," Anton said. "You are a most attractive man. I would be honored."

His courtly tone made me chuckle.

"Far be it for me to turn down a Harvard man," I said. I pulled him toward me and got my first taste of his full, sensual lips. As we kissed I stroked his wiry hair, cropped close to his head. His smooth tongue slipped over mine as if they had been made to fit together. His breath was scented with scotch and garlic.

After that it was easy for Drew and Anton to relieve me of my clothes. When all three of us were naked we flopped on the bed in a writhing tangle of limbs, mouths, and cocks. A part of my brain was aghast at what I was doing, but it didn't have the power to stop me.

My mouth enjoyed the novelty of having a choice of cock to suck. I did Anton's while jacking Drew's organ with my hand, then switched. A fleeting thought crossed my mind as I took Drew in my mouth that it would have been nice for us to be alone, but it was lost in the mounting frenzy of our lust.

"Now it's our turn." They laid me out on my back, Drew sucking me while Anton straddled my chest and shoved his cock down my throat. Then they changed places. I felt Drew lifting my legs, and soon I was eating Anton's ass while being rimmed myself. There seemed no end to the possible combinations. After a while Drew reached into the pocket of his discarded jeans and pulled out two condoms. He and Anton hooded themselves and I knew what was in store for me.

I lost track of how long my ass was filled with cock that night. Whenever Drew or Anton got tired or close to cumming they simply pulled out and let the other one take over. At the other end my mouth was constantly full of cock, ass, or tongue. My body was pulled and prodded into every conceivable position, but the erotic assault never stopped. Finally while Drew was taking me on all fours from behind Anton finished me off by sliding underneath me and swallowing my aching cock whole. I raised my head and let out a long howl as I unloaded down his throat. I was dimly aware of hoarse grunts issuing from behind as Drew slammed into my butt, shooting his long-delayed load into my ass. As we started to come down from our sexual high Anton knelt in front of me and jacked his load into my face. I closed my eyes and stuck out my tongue to catch what I could of the hot spurts.

The three of us lay side by side on the bed, drained and exhausted. Anton was the first to stir. He got up, wiped himself off and started to put his clothes on.

Drew said, "Going back?"

"Yes. I'm on a panel tomorrow morning at eight. Glenn, it was a pleasure." He leaned down and kissed me.

"I'll be there in a while," Drew said.

When the door closed behind him I turned to Drew. "He's a charming man."

"I told you."

"So I guess you and he are seeing each other now, right?"

Drew nodded. "Anton's totally cool about everything, as you can see."

"Yes, I guess we're just one big happy family." It came out sharper than I'd intended. To my surprise I found myself getting upset, but I wasn't sure why.

His eyes narrowed. "Is there a problem with what we did? Sure didn't seem like it."

"The problem isn't Anton. It's you." There, I'd put my finger on it.

"What do you mean by that?" There was a dangerous spark in his eye.

"You and Anton discussed this little party in advance. I just wish you'd discussed it with me as well."

"Oh, I get it." Drew's voice took on an indulgent tone that made me madder. "C'mon, Glen, if I'd asked you about having a three-way you'd have said no. You said at the lake last summer you'd never consider it."

I looked him in the eye. "I also said something else last summer. I said I loved you. Do you even remember?"

Drew reached out a conciliatory hand. "Of course I do. That's why I'm trying to find a way to keep us in each other's lives. What do you want me to do, never have sex again? Is that what you've decided to do?"

An image of Jason's face rose before me and quelled my attack, but only for a moment.

"So you thought introducing me to group sex was just the thing. That's been your approach from day one. The shock treatment. I've been your little project, right? Bring na^'ve Glenn out from under the rock."

Drew turned away in disgust. "I don't believe this."

"I may not be a genius like you, Drew, but I'm not a total fool. I'm the best thing that ever happened to you and you can't even see it. You don't even have the guts to say you love me."

Drew's eyes flashed. "It doesn't take guts. Most people say it far too often. Maybe I'm saving it for someone who'll appreciate it."

"Well, I congratulate the lucky man who finally drags it out of you." I turned away from him and pulled the covers up. "It's late and I'm tired. Tell Anton thanks for the Scotch. It was his, right?"

Drew got out of bed without a word, and I heard him pulling his clothes on. After the door slammed shut I heaved a sigh and closed my eyes. I lay there a long time before I got up and turned out the lights. It was even longer before sleep finally came.

There wasn't any occasion for me to see Drew and Anton again before I left, and I made no attempt to contact them. On the morning of my departure I was sitting having breakfast in the hotel coffee shop. I felt someone pause by my shoulder.

"May I join you?"

"Of course," I replied. Anton sat across from me.

"Drew has been quite upset ever since the other night. I gather that you regret what happened."

"It's not as simple as that, Anton. I think you could tell that I was enjoying myself." I sighed. "I just wish I'd had more time to think about the long-term consequences. But that's not Drew's way."

Anton smiled. "He is a man of action, true. But I would be very distressed if you felt any ill will towards me. I agreed to Drew's wishes only because he assured me you would be pleased." He caught himself. "Please don't misunderstand. Of course, once I saw you I was very glad I had said yes."

I shook my head. "No offense taken. I'm glad we met. And I wish Drew and you the best."

Anton leaned toward me. "I don't know Drew nearly as well as you. But I do know that he cares for you a great deal." He got up. "I wish you safe travels, Glenn."

I thought a great deal about what Anton had said on the plane home. Whether or not it was true, I didn't see how Drew and I could do anything except drift further and further apart with time. We were on different paths through life. I should be grateful they had crossed, however briefly.

After my return the remaining weeks of the semester seemed to fly by. There were no more communications from Drew. I was hurt, but not as much as I would have been a few months before.

I found myself covertly eyeing attractive male students, and even faculty, more and more often at the gym. One idle evening I pulled up the home page of the local state U. and punched "Stedman" into the directory window. Sure enough, Jason's e-mail, office and home telephone numbers obligingly appeared.

After staring at them for a long time I closed the window without saving any of the information.

I asked Marcia about forming a search committee to fill Drew's vacated post. She gave me an odd look.

"Isn't he just on a year's leave of absence, Glenn? You're talking like he's never coming back."

"C'mon, Marcia. Drew's now on the faculty at one of the nation's major research universities. He's not coming back to Steelman."

"You're probably right. Jon said the other day that he hasn't submitted an official resignation letter, though. He could wait until August to do that. Until he does, we really can't advertise the permanent position or do anything else about filling it. If worst comes to worst, I'd be in favor of asking Pat to stay on another year. She's worked out well, hasn't she?"

I told myself that my irritation was for the institution, that Drew was keeping Steelman dangling when he knew very well what his intentions were. I knew though that I was also taking it personally. Why couldn't he make the break and have done with it, so we could both move on?

At last it was final examination week of the spring semester, early May. The Texas spring had already given way to early summer weather, hot and sunny most days, alternating with occasional violent thunderstorms. On Wednesday morning I went early to school. Final papers for my upper-division seminar were due at noon. All morning I sat in the office as my students came by to drop their work off, most cheerful and relieved that they had finished the course, a few looking haggard with lack of sleep, pouring out tales of computer woes. At last they were all in-thankfully this time there was no one who had missed the deadline. I decided to walk home for lunch, then come back and start the arduous process of reading and grading them.

I had lived in the same place ever since I came to teach at Steelman, a small bungalow just a few blocks from campus. As I turned onto my street and looked down toward my house I caught sight of someone sitting on the steps leading up to the front porch-a man dressed in jeans and a dress shirt, sleeves rolled up in the already intense heat.

My heart was racing even before he became aware of me and raised his head. As I broke first into a trot, then a run, the smile I saw in my dreams flashed out in full splendor.

I skidded to a halt at the bottom of the porch steps, not daring to touch him or clasp him to me, for fear he might dissolve in my arms and reveal himself as a phantom, a figment of my longing imagination.

"Hey," Drew said.

I swallowed, then opened my mouth, but no words would come. Drew stood, stepped up and put his arms around me. I felt the hard warmth of his body, breathed the fragrance of his cologne mixed with a slight hint of male sweat.

No doubt it was the shock of seeing him, but my first words were less than gracious.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd surprise you," Drew said, with a slight smile. "How did you put it-the shock treatment."

"I can't believe you even want to talk to me after the way I acted the last time."

"What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment," Drew said. I let go of him and climbed the steps. One small bag sat on the porch. I turned.

"That all you brought?"

"For now. Can I stay here tonight?"

Joy surged up in me, and to cover it I snorted. "You have to ask? Your toothbrush is still here."

We went inside and sat at my kitchen table. I still couldn't think of anything intelligent to say.

"Well, this is quite a surprise. No one knew what your plans were. We haven't heard from you for so long."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't sure for a long time myself. Then once I did decide, things got really busy."

"Oh." I started talking fast. "I guess you need to get those things you put in storage. Have you seen Jon yet? I'm sure he'd appreciate seeing you once before you go. He-"

"Glenn." Drew raised a hand. "I'm explaining it badly. I did see Jon today, yes. I wanted to make sure I could still have my position back."

He said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"What?"

Drew nodded. "Anyway, Jon said no problem, since I didn't resign from Steelman, when my leave period is up my appointment will resume. That won't be until August, though, just before the fall semester starts."

My brain was still trying to comprehend what he had uttered three sentences ago. I must have looked silly, my mouth wide open. Drew's smile was gleeful and embarrassed at the same time.

"The thing is, I had to vacate faculty housing up there once the term ended last week. You know I gave up the lease on my place here. I know this is all kind of sudden, Glenn, but-"

I was shaking all over.

"-I was hoping you'd let me stay with you, at least for a while. I know we haven't discussed any of this--Hell, I don't even know whether you want me back--"

"Stop." I rose and went around the table to where he was sitting. Drew turned to me. His eyes were shining with an emotion I'd never seen before.

"You're not going back?"

Drew shook his head. "They offered to make me a finalist for the tenure-track job, an inside candidate. I turned them down."

"But-what about your research? Your next book? Your career?"

He shrugged. "The state U.'s just down the road. They actually have a very good collection in my field. Anything else, I'll find on the Net. Travel."

Drew reached out and grasped my arm. "Glenn, I had everything I wanted there. But I didn't have you. And without you the rest didn't mean anything."

For the second time since I'd known him I knelt before Drew with no lascivious intent. I put my head in his lap, my arms around his knees, and burst into tears.

Drew leaned down and spoke softly into my ear, all the while stroking my hair.

"I thought a long time about what you said to me in Chicago. For a long time I was mad as hell at you. But then I realized you were right.

"You helped me without expecting anything in return. You let me go because you put my interests before yours. You did all that because you love me.

"Glenn, I'm coming back to Steelman because I know now-I love you too."

That brought on a fresh wave of emotion. It must have been several moments before I could raise my head and say to him, my voice thick and my eyes swollen, "I don't deserve your love. Soon as the going gets tough I cave in. I cheat on you, do stupid things."

Drew shook his head. "Let's not worry about what we deserve. Let's just treasure what we have-something unique. Something we should share." He paused, then said, "Anton really enjoyed meeting you this spring. He's very upset that I'm coming back here. I'd like to say to him he can come visit."

"Of course he can." When the time was right I'd tell him about Jason. I wanted them to meet each other.

Drew bent and kissed away the tears on my cheeks. "We don't really need him for a while anyway, do we?" He kissed me again, harder, and a different kind of love surged up in my body. I shook my head in agreement as my arms went around him.

I woke up in the middle of the night, to the sound of rain pattering steadily on the roof. Drew was not in the bed. Anxiety instantly had me wide awake. I padded through the house, calling his name softly, trying to fight down panic. He was nowhere to be found.

I went into the living room, my heart pounding. Relief flooded through me. Through the front window I could see Drew's tall form standing on the porch. He was naked.

I hurried to the front door and flung it open. Drew turned toward me, his body catching the dim light, the shadows emphasizing the chiseled lines of his musculature, the curving majesty of the flaccid organ between his thighs. I drew my breath in at the beauty of the sight.

"Couldn't sleep," he said. "The air's so wonderful out here. Had to step out and enjoy it. Care to join me?"

"Jesus, Drew, the whole neighborhood's going to see."

Drew chuckled. "Glenn, it's four in the morning. I think we can risk it. C'mon."

I pushed the screen door open and stepped out onto the porch. The cool, moist air did feel wonderful on my bare skin. In the light from the street lamps we could see light rain falling while the moths circled. Drew embraced me from behind and nibbled my ear. My cock twitched at the memory of what we had done earlier that night.

"Mm, doesn't this feel nice?"

I nodded. "Let's hope Elden's not an insomniac."

"Who gives a shit about him. Anyway, I want us to move to a bigger place as soon as we can. It'll have to have a front porch, of course. And a bigger bedroom."

I turned to face him. His eyes shone in the dim light. "You're talking about our future together, Drew. You know what you're getting into?"

Drew smiled. "I know."

"You sure you want to come back to this place?" I persisted.

"I'm sure."

"In a few years you'll get tenure. Then a full professorship. Once that happens your course is set, Professor Ohlen. You're beholden to Steelman for the rest of your life. And to me, because I'm here for the duration. Are you ready for that kind of commitment?"

"I am if you are."

My gaze did not waver. "I am."

Drew took my face in his hands.

"Then I will walk the halls of academe to the end of my days, with you by my side. That's a promise, Professor Reynolds."

He kissed me then, long and deep. For one instant I worried again that someone might see us, then I dismissed the thought. I was through hiding from the world.

"Let's go back to bed," Drew whispered. I nodded.

The rain began to fall harder. Drew took my hand, and led me back toward the house. He pulled the screen door open and we went inside.

END

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I never thought it would take so long or prove so difficult to finish, but yes, this is indeed the conclusion of "Halls." Thanks to all of you who've written and told me you've enjoyed Glenn and Drew's story. This will be the last of the "Steelman Tales" for quite a while, I suspect. KN