EIGHT
Charlie made it pretty clear that he didn't like Felix. He told me that I was better than him. I didn't know what to say about that. I tried defending Felix, but Charlie told me that guys like Felix were a dime a dozen. I was special, he said. I didn't think that was true.
"Did you ever smoke pot?" I asked Charlie.
"Oh yeah. There were plenty of bong hits in the 70's. I suppose most people have."
I nodded. I wasn't that sure I liked it, but I got high again with Felix. Once I got outside of my own head, pot did make sex even better -- and sex was really, really good anyway. Then Felix gave me some Molly when we went out. It was supposed to make me energetic, make me want to dance the night away. I was jazzed up but it made me really talkative. And I said more than I should have. I talked about growing up, and the gay conversion therapy and leaving home. Yeah, it was definitely too much. And I was grinding my teeth and, again, I was super thirsty. We did dance and we cuddled, but we didn't have sex. I couldn't get hard.
I guess I had been going out with Felix for about 6 weeks when he said, "I guess I should have told you that I am HIV positive."
I was stunned. We had never used condoms together. He hadn't wanted to, and I just went along. My heart dropped to the floor. It was like the life was drained out of me.
"Yeah, you should have," I said. "When did you find out?"
"A couple of years ago."
"A couple of years ago?" I asked in disbelief. "And you didn't say anything?"
He shrugged and flatly said, "No."
I couldn't believe it. And now I was scared. What if I was HIV positive now, too? My life had just begun -- I was only about to turn 20. I didn't want a death sentence. My whole focus narrowed and I focused in on that. I had the disease. I knew it.
I told Charlie the next day.
"We'll get you tested," he said. "There are treatments now. There are things they can do."
Charlie drove me to the health department. They took a health and sexual history, and they drew blood. Then I had to wait. It was 2 days. I had an appointment to go back and, again, Charlie went with me. He waited in the lobby while I talked to the counselor.
I was negative.
I was the most relieved person in the whole world. The counselor told me I would need to come back in a few weeks and have another test, because it sometimes took a period of time after being exposed for HIV to show up. I was elated when I went to the lobby. Charlie knew from my reaction what the results were.
But he still gave me a lecture on the way home.
"So many people died. Died young. Too many good people. And they died while an indifferent straight world looked on and did nothing. You don't want to be one of those statistics, Nate. You want to live your life, your whole life, right to the end!" he said. "Wear a condom every time. Be careful."
Felix and I never talked again. I wasn't even sure he was HIV positive. He might have said that just to scare me, to get rid of me. Suddenly, I could see that everything Charlie had said about him was true.
I made A's in my spring semester courses. Then I took two labs in the summer. Those classes were hard, especially since I was working full time. Charlie made me a nice dinner for my 20th birthday. I went out a few times that summer, and hooked up with a couple of guys -- but nothing special. And, true to my word, I used condoms every time.
Then I applied to get into the nursing school and got accepted. I started nursing classes in the fall semester with clinicals. The classes were tough, and the paperwork and studying took lots of time and effort. On top of that, the schedule was tough at work as I continued with the landscaping job at the University.
I found out about a job opening at a hospital, doing phlebotomy and EKG's. When I got the call, I was really happy. Though it was quite a challenge figuring out how to do orientation around my school work, I was able to do it. The pay was actually a little less than I had been getting at the University. But the hospital was way more flexible about my schedule.
Charlie offered to pay my expenses so I could go to school full time without having to work.
"I'm rich, Nate. I don't mind."
I told him no. I was going to work, even though I was able to live pretty cheaply renting from him. I had money saved. But most of all, I wanted to make my own way in the world and not be dependent on anybody.
One thing that slipped from my schedule was going to church, and helping with the flower beds there. I worried that my quitting the University job was a disappointment to Fred. And honestly, it wasn't like the services were really meeting any actual need of mine. Plus, the more I learned about Christian theology from Charlie and from reading, the more I doubted the truth of any of it. I mean, when you step back and think about it, the whole thing seems pretty far-fetched and incredible.
My clinicals were Med-Surg. It was kind of exciting going into the hospital and doing "real" nursing work. I had to dress in these green uniform pants and a white top with the school logo on it. I bought all my own medical equipment -- stethoscope, bandage scissors, penlight and everything. I was pretty eager to do anything and everything, so I volunteered for whatever was needed. The licensed nurses didn't treat us badly. I got to start an IV, and pack a wound, and put in a foley catheter. I was just at the beginning of it all, but I felt like I could do this. The paper work was tough. We would have to do these pathophysiology papers describing what was wrong with the patient, down to the cellular level. I really struggled with those, but always did well.
There was a guy at work - a transporter - named Isaac. He wasn't super jacked, but he was lean and fit. He was friendly and always had a big white smile. He had short cornrows in his hair. He and I talked a bit from time to time. I thought he was hot, but I wasn't sure how to approach him. Like how would I even go about asking something personal anyway, since I assumed he wasn't gay. He was definitely a masculine-looking dude. Not that it means anything. You know, I was pretty masculine too. In fact, some of the experienced nurses tried to set me up with the younger female nurses -- but I had to politely tell them I was gay.
Then one of the older nurses tried to set me up with Isaac.
He always wore red shoes. Red sneakers. I told him that I liked them.
"You have really pretty eyes," he said.
I smiled. "Thanks."
So it began just that simple. We went to a drag show at one of the bars. He was old enough to get in, but I wasn't. The bouncer let me in anyway. Isaac thought the show was funnier than I did, but I told him I had a good time. We didn't have sex that night. I guess I was a little frustrated, even though I really did like him. When I got home, Charlie was still up and he asked me how it went.
"When do I get to meet him?" he asked.
I shrugged and smiled. "Do I need to have your approval?"
"Of course not, Nate!" he said, taking it more seriously than I had intended. "But I'd like to know about the people who are important in your life."
I nodded and told him thanks.
Since I had built up a bit of sexual frustration, I just wanted to go to my room and crank out a nut. Charlie sensed that, and calmly asked if I needed any help in that department. I was willing because Charlie was really good at blowjobs -- and I was really horny. In my room, I got naked. Charlie liked my body and always commented on how sexy I was. I laid down on the bed and he got between my legs and began to expertly take care of me.
"Oh, it feels so good!" I purred as Charlie was sucking me.
He lifted off just long enough to say, "And I enjoy making you feel good."
"Mmmmmmm." I didn't want him to stop.
He was a master at it. Better than the boys I'd been with. He knew what he was doing and how to do it. He worked the tongue around, and knew how to use just the right amount of suction and stroking. He hit all the pleasure points exactly right. And he read my cues, learned what I wanted. That was an important sex lesson that he taught me: learn from your partner. And Charlie taught me by example. He gave me what I wanted -- yeah, he actually knew what I needed.
As I got closer and closer to cumming, he got more and more urgent in what he was doing. Sucking harder, stroking harder, bobbing up and down harder. With real urgency and passion. I was losing control quickly. I didn't want it to end, but I couldn't delay the inevitable. The pleasure was too great. Too much. I was either going to cum or die.
"Uhhhhhh!!" I grunted as I shot my spunk in his mouth.
I was breathing hard, letting the last wave of pleasure roll over me. I felt completely peaceful and happy. I looked and saw that Charlie had an erection too.
"I can help you," I said.
He smiled. "I'm good, Chick."
I watched as he masturbated. He watched me watching him. It was strange, and yet so interesting, seeing the difference in how he pleasured himself compared to how I did myself. It was erotic seeing a man old enough to be my grandfather doing this thing I had discovered for myself at puberty. A grown man doing a young boy thing.
After it was over and we were laying together there on my bed, I asked Charlie what his children thought about me. He had a son and daughter, both grown and living away from him. He almost never saw them, but did talk on the phone some.
"They think you are taking advantage of me," he replied.
I looked at him. "Am I?"
Charlie laughed. "No. I'm getting more out of our bargain than I had ever dreamed. I don't think I am being taken advantage of. Do you think you are, Nate?"
"No."
"Even though you sometimes have sex with an old man who doesn't really turn you on?"
I thought about it for a second. How to say it best. "I like you a lot. You're my friend. It's a small thing to see you happy."
"And I appreciate that more than you will ever know, my beautiful, sweet boy. Kind, thoughtful boy."
After dancing at a club, me and Isaac had a Friday night breakfast at the Majestic Diner in the heart of the gay ghetto. The older gay guys looked at us with envy and lust, but we were just two young guys enjoying our youth.
"I live at home, with my mama. I'm kind of on the down low," he said.
I didn't think he was being all that sly, eating in a gay haunt with another guy. But I didn't say anything about that. I told him about living with Charlie. He asked if he was my sugar daddy. I didn't think he was. Between what I paid him and the work I did, I had to admit it was a good deal -- but we were both happy with the arrangement. And I made my own money and didn't take any from him.
But my place was where we had sex. Isaac was polite and respectful to Charlie, which I liked.
We were both naked and erect. He was kind of skinny, but his body was muscle-hard. He had abs. He had black wiry hair under his underarms, like a Brillo pad -- not the soft hair like I had. I weirdly thought it was erotic. He had steel wool for pubes. And despite what you hear about big black cock, he was good-sized but not enormous. His cock and balls were darker than the rest of his chocolate-milk-colored skin. He wasn't much for kissing, and he was shy about touching me. But once he did touch me, got his hand on my penis, he jacked it roughly.
"Yeah, suck that dick," he said as I took it in as deep as I could.
I loved his smell. Earthy. It just smelled like sex to me. The pheromones made his scent something primitive and awesome. I swallowed him down and cupped his big, generous balls. I worked my tongue all around his shaft, and he held my head down on it. He was aggressive. I had guessed that he would be a top. And I knew I wanted to take it. He pumped into my mouth, while my hand also rubbed around the thick base of his cock.
"That's it man, take that cock!" he growled.
But I didn't want him to cum in my mouth. I wanted him to do me, to fuck me. Actually, I wanted to ride him. And he had to know that. I was so hard and hot. I stroked myself as he watched me. I got a condom and rolled it on his throbbing prick.
"Oh, yeah. That's so good!" I said as his cock slid into me.
"Yeah. I'm gonna fuck your hot ass."
I rocked back and forth as my dick flopped up and down against his lower abs. I felt his coiled pubes almost scratching the underside of my shaft. I had my hands on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart inside his hard, lean body. As I moved my hips, I could see in his eyes the ecstasy he felt. I could see the need and the lust. I reached between us and stroked myself as I rode him. I needed the pleasure too, the tension-releasing sensation as I was full and stuffed in that greatest of ways.
"Uhhhh!" I groaned as I jacked my dick while floating on a pleasure wave with my eyes closed.
He reached up and held my throat. I was lost in the sensations rippling through my body. I was lost to lust. I rocked and I stroked -- and he pumped, driving himself into me. He grunted and we were both sweaty and lost in the shared ecstasy of it all.
I whimpered one last time and came. I shot my load onto his lean, perfect belly.
He held my hips and pounded me, fast and hard, at a furious pace. I saw on his face the anguished look of impending orgasm. He was so close. When he finally gave a strangled, guttural cry and released that pent-up energy, I felt his cock spasm inside of me. That was his wave of pleasure.
Isaac had to go home afterwards. I wished he could have stayed. I would have loved to wake up with him in my arms. Instead, I went to Charlie's room, and we sipped some bourbon for a while and talked.