THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO NATE
By
Encolpius
NOTE: Again, thanks to Brentraz
Feedback is appreciated. Write to Encolpius1@prtonmail.com
As slways, give a little to Nifty to keep this resouce going.
TWELVE
What happened in 20 years?
When the Supreme Court passed the Obergefell decision, JP and I got married. Charlie, our son, was the Best Man. My Dad was there. My Mom had died a few years before from breast cancer. Since I was a Nurse Practitioner in oncology, I was very involved in her care. She practically lived with us full-time for almost a year before she passed. Charlie was heart-broken when Nanny died. She had doted on him.
One Saturday night, JP was on trauma call as a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA) and had to go in to work. He got home just as I was getting ready for church - and trying to get Charlie ready. At 12 years old, he was beginning to get moody, and it was increasingly difficult to rouse him from sleep in the mornings. JP was wound up, after being in surgery for five hours. He was tired but wired, and needed to talk for a bit. So I got to hear all about a traumatic near-amputation before he calmed down. By then, Charlie was looking presentable, and he and I left for church.
We go to the Unitarian Church nearby, and I am the co-chair of the Buildings and Grounds Committee. After the worship services that day, Charlie and I went out to eat. Then we headed home, changed out of our Sunday clothes, and got into work clothes. We went outside to tend to the flower beds in our yard. Charlie was an enthusiastic worker and loved plants. He planned to be a botanist. We were working along at a steady pace, weeding and cultivating the beds, when Charlie stopped me.
"Dad?" he said rather tentatively. "There is something I need to tell you."
He seemed unusually serious. "Okay, Charlie. What is it?"
"I'm straight," he said, looking down to avoid looking me in the eye.
I almost laughed. I had never for one second doubted his heterosexuality. That he would end up heterosexual was absolutely evident from the very beginning. And yet, he was taking it seriously.
"Okay, Charlie. I hear you. And the most important thing for you to know is that we love you no matter what. For me and for Pop, you are perfect just the way you are."
"Yeah," he said, still looking down. "But..."
"There are no buts. Did you think we would be bothered by it? That we would want anything for you other than that you be happy?"
"No!" he said, frustrated. "It's just that you and Pop are gay, and I thought that you would want..."
"Nooo, Charlie!" I said, smiling. "That's not how it works. You are you, Charlie. We don't want you to be anything or anyone other than you. We love you just the way you are." I paused for a moment, and then looked him in the eye. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah," he said, his hesitation clear.
"Is there a special girl?"
"Kimma."
"Is she pretty?"
He lit up and responded quickly, "Yeah!"
"So, we need to have a talk about something."
He let out a sigh, sounding rather disgusted, and started back to weeding. "We talked about sex already, Dad."
"No, not sex. About respect. And about consent. At some point, it will matter - maybe not right now, but it will."
And so I talked with him about respecting women, and about consent. And how people can change their minds, and how important it is to back off when they do. We even got into some of the more harsh realities of domestic abuse, and how wrong that is. He didn't say much. I didn't know how much he really heard and understood, but I thought it ought to be said.
When JP got up from his nap, I told him.
"I thought we knew he was straight."
"Well, he's obviously been turning it over in his mind for quite awhile, figuring out how to tell us."
JP laughed. "It's ironic that he felt the need to come out as straight. I guess the time has already come when we need to start thinking about the potential that he is actually going to have sex."
At first, I thought it was more of a hand-holding kind of relationship with Charlie and Kimma. But he was head over heels in love. He and his girlfriend talked every day, at length, on the phone. And it was impossible to get him to do anything. I was frustrated with him.
Then after about two weeks, it was over. She had a new boyfriend and Charlie was heart-broken. And soon enough, he was back to being our regular ol' Charlie. But we gave him the privacy a boy needs. JP and I were both pretty sure we understood all about that.
Could I imagine Charlie with a girl? Sexually? Yes and no. He was our little boy - who increasingly wasn't so little anymore. He seemed so impossibly young to us, yet he clearly didn't feel that way in his own mind and heart. But it's inevitable and, in a way, I was happy for him. Sex is fun. Falling in love is grand. Intimacy is what the soul longs for.
My soul is content. That much I know. I hope it will be the same for Charlie.