THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO NATE
By
Encolpius
NOTE: Thanks to Brentraz for his help.
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TEN
I was on a break in the courtyard outside of the hospital snack bar, enjoying the spring sunshine when JP, the nurse on 5 W, came and sat down across from me.
"You mind if I join you?" I said I didn't. "How is your grandpa doing?"
I looked at him funny for a moment, and then realized. "Oh, uh, he's not actually my grandpa. He's a friend."
"Oh," JP said. He looked at me strange. I think I knew what he was thinking. "He's a really great guy, and he's really proud of you. He couldn't stop talking to me about you. I think he wanted to set us up."
I smiled shyly. "I wouldn't mind that."
We went on a date, a real date. A nice Italian dinner, and then we went to the planetarium for a show. JP apologized for being a geek and a nerd. But I really liked that he was. It was fun - and it was fun being with him. I felt comfortable from the very first few minutes of our date. We didn't have sex. Then another day, we met for lunch before he had to go to work. We talked. I listened to him tell me about himself, but he insisted that I talk about myself too. That was weird. Mostly, I've found that people want to talk about themselves.
And then we went on an adventure over to Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Center, to see a launch of the space shuttle. That was totally cool! Afterwards, we drove back to my place and the three of us, Charlie included, had dinner. All Charlie ate was the dessert, but he joined in telling stories about his life. Both JP and I laughed and laughed at the funny parts.
Finally, Charlie said, "Go. Have some private time. Just you two."
In my room, I kissed JP as soon as the door was shut. It was passionate. The weird thing was that I did lust after him. I did. A lot. But I really liked him as a person. I wanted to give myself up to him. My body was pressed against his, and I felt his hardness. I mashed my face against his and he met me, passion for passion. We stripped down, hungry, starving. We kissed again, mid-strip, unwilling to be separated from the other for the seconds it would take. More clothes off, more kissing.
"I want you so bad" JP said.
He landed on my bed with me on top of him. I was desperately pawing at him, kissing and touching and trying to get at him. Eventually, we were naked and I got to see his beautiful body, his pride, his manhood. I desired him enormously. I went for it. I swallowed it down, all the way, to the root. He put his head back and sighed. I cupped his generous balls and rubbed his taint as I sucked him.
"Oh, God... that feels really good" he said.
I worshipped his cock. I knew it would feel good and I wanted nothing more than to make him feel good. His pleasure was my concern. He rubbed my head as I gave him head.
"Oh yeah, that's it!" he moaned.
I licked his shaft and sucked on the head, swirling my tongue all around. I used all the technique I knew to maximize his pleasure. He moaned and sighed and I knew I was getting to him. I felt proud. I felt powerful. I felt generous. I felt grateful.
"I want you," he said.
He pushed me onto the bed, supine. He returned the favor. I obviously wasn't his first. He knew how to handle a dick. And he was devouring mine. All the way down, deep throat. He sucked my balls. He stroked me. Everything varied. Everything tender and perfect.
"Oooh..." I moaned. "I want you in me"
"Okay"
He rolled a condom on his dick, and we laid side by side for him to penetrate me back there. I felt the hardness of his body next to mine. Then I felt the fullness of him inside of me. It was electric. He filled me as he moved, slowly, ever so slowly. It was total perfection. He held my body close to his, and I could feel the embrace of his muscular chest and biceps. He smelled like a man. As he moved inside of me, he told me how beautiful and sexy I was, how smart and kind.
I truly felt loved.
I liked that feeling.
And I wanted him to keep doing it. To keep filling me up, keep moving. I liked the security of being in his arms, the comfort of it. But I also liked that my body was giving him pleasure, that I had the power to give him life's greatest pleasure. As he moved and touched and held me, as the motion got harder and more frantic, we lost all control. It wasn't love anymore... it was lust. It was need. It was desire.
I moaned as he reached around to stroke my hard penis. I grunted with each stroke.
I was breathless when he rammed in one more time and came, filling up his condom. I was sweaty and still bothered. Needing release, I turned on my back and started to jack off. He reached over again to stroke me, to take over. I pushed his hand away. I was so close, and I knew what I needed to achieve my orgasm. But then I stopped, and grabbed his hand back. I wanted him to finish me off. I wanted to lose control at his touch.
I gasped and almost blacked out as I shot a very big load.
Sweaty and spent, happy and luxuriating in our post-orgasmic pleasure, I just felt a surge of love for JP. I realized he was the one I wanted... the one I had been looking for. There was nothing in life I wanted to do more than lay in bed after sex, and laugh and talk with him. I could do that forever.
##################
Spring break came. But Charlie was sick. I knew he wouldn't make it the Keys. So we compromised and found a gay guesthouse in Wilton Manors, in Fort Lauderdale. I drove down Alligator Alley and through the traffic typical of the metroplex that is South Florida. The guesthouse was nice with a big pool, as well as a smaller pool and a jacuzzi. It was situated on a branch of one of the tidal rivers. We sat on a bench looking at the black reflecting water, and he told me about his life. Later we sat in the small pool, just me and him. I admit I got a bit tipsy some -- and he did too. Just once, I actually got drunk, at least mildly. And I held him as we both slept.
When we got back home, he told me how much he had enjoyed it.
I woke up early on a Wednesday morning. I'd been sleeping in the same bed with Charlie. Even though we didn't have sex, it was to hold him. So he wouldn't be alone. When I turned in the bed to face him that morning, I discovered he was cold and didn't move. Still and peaceful.
I sat on the side of the bed and cried a little while, and then called the hospice nurse. I was glad Charlie hadn't died alone. After a short time, she came and pronounced him dead, and contacted the funeral home. I waited there with him on the bed. I gently washed him down, since he had soiled himself. I didn't want anyone seeing him that way. I got his suit and dress shirt from the closet. When I handed the clothes to the funeral home assistant, I apologized -- since Charlie had lost a lot of weight. But they promised it would be fine. After they had taken him away, I sat down and called his son and daughter and told them the news.
I was almost ready to graduate with my nursing degree - really close to the prize. I knew that Charlie had wanted to go to my graduation. He'd told me so often that he was proud of me. Since I had classes that day, I went on and did what I had to - though in a daze. It was surreal. Charlie was dead.
His son, Charles Jr., showed up the next day. He told me I had to leave the house. I stared at him a moment and then just asked him, "Why?"
"Because it's not your house. You have no claim on my father's estate. You were just a boy toy of his, a little prostitute, and someone of absolutely no importance."
His sister tried to be nicer, but they were both in agreement and wanted me out of the house. So I packed up my things, everything I could carry, and told them I would be back for the bedroom furniture and all the rest of it later. I called JP to see if I could stay at his place instead. He replied quickly that I could - and I moved in with him that Thursday evening.
The visitation at the funeral home was on Friday night, and I went with JP. I was amazed at how good Charlie looked in the casket. The suit fit well and he didn't have the ghostly, sick look that he'd had the last few weeks. But seeing him laying motionless and lifeless in that casket broke my heart. Fortunately, JP was there to comfort me, because I was really crying the more I thought about it. By contrast, Charles Jr. continued to treat me like trash. His sister Kelly hugged my neck, and told me that Charlie had really treasured his time with me. I liked that she said that.
Then a man came up to me. "Nathan?"
I turned toward him and answered, "Yeah?"
"I'm Michael Helperin, Mr. Everett's lawyer. I'd like you to be in my office at 10:00 am on Monday morning. There are some legal matters that we need to discuss," he said as he handed me his business card.
"Does Nate need his own lawyer?" JP demanded.
"No," Mr. Helperin said, with a small smile. "It's nothing bad, I promise you. But please be there at 10:00 am."
The funeral was on Saturday. Charles Jr. and Kelly had their spouses and children there - Charlie's grandchildren. But I wasn't introduced to them. I didn't even know any of the kids' names. I sat in the back of the room and listened to his colleagues talk about him. His son gave a eulogy that I thought was mean-spirited. Then a minister spoke. It seemed unreal. The person they described was somewhat similar to the person I knew - but not really. They knew a different Charlie from the one I did. They might have thought they'd known the real Charlie, but I doubted it. I was the person in his life he had no reason to hide anything from.
I had to ask for time off from work on Monday, so I could go to Mr. Helperin's law office for that morning appointment. He was seated at a big conference table along with Kelly, Charles Jr. and me. I was rather startled as the lawyer just started reading the will. There was a bit of technical stuff at the beginning. But then the lawyer continued reading: "I want to leave the house that we lived in, and all its contents, to the kindest and sweetest soul I have ever met - Nathan Goodman. My children are allowed to take such items of sentimental value that they desire, provided that Nathan is agreeable to surrender those items to them from the home."
"What?" I said. "What does that mean?"
"You get the house," Mr. Helperin calmly replied.
"That's bullshit!" Charles erupted. "That house is worth $300K easily. Not to mention the land - it's a manicured acre in a prime residential area. That is serious money!"
"And there is no way that a scheming little gay whore is going to live in our grandmother's home!" Kelly added.
"We will challenge the will on grounds of undue influence," Charles Jr. said in a huff.
The lawyer smiled. "Under Florida law, Nathan would have to have participated in the drafting of the will, in order for it to be classified as exerting undue influence. I have an affidavit from Charlie that Nathan had nothing to do with it. You could see for yourselves Nathan's reaction when I read the will just now. You can challenge it if you want - but I drafted the will myself, and I can assure you it will withstand any such challenge. And... you would tie up the rest of the estate indefinitely. That's in the neighborhood of 1.5 million dollars."
"Fine!" Charles Jr. said abruptly. He was angry and disgusted.
The lawyer paused and nodded, but then continued reading on for awhile. None of it had anything to do with me. After the final paragraphs were read, Kelly and Charles Jr. quickly left the room. Mr. Helperin asked me to stay.
"Charlie paid a $5000 retainer to a younger colleague of mine to defend the will, in case his children challenged it. The remainder of that money would go to you, according to the contract. I would advise you not to argue too much about whatever sentimental items Kelly and Charles Jr. want from the house. Just let it go. And then... don't do anything with the house for at least 90 days."
"Like what?"
"Try to sell it, or get a mortgage, or request a home equity line of credit. That sort of thing."
"I'm going to live there!" I said with a small smile.
I met Kelly and Charles Jr. at the house. Charles didn't want anything of any sentimental value from his father. Kelly only wanted a few trinkets. And I had a house. Three bedrooms, two baths. And all of Charlie's books. All of his wall art, his furniture. For right then, in those first few moments of silence as I looked around, I wasn't inclined to change a thing. It all reminded me of Charlie.
Plus, the fact was that I was very busy. I was getting ready to graduate from nursing school. I was so happy that JP came to my pinning ceremony, and attended my graduation a few weeks later. Afterwards, he bought me dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. And then we went to my home, and made love in my bed. For now, Charlie's bed would be empty.
We were laying together in my bed, in the dark, in a totally quiet house. Charlie, for a long time, had snored. Not too loud, but I could hear his rhythmic breathing even through the closed door. As he got sicker he stopped snoring, and I was able to sleep with him and hold him like I wanted to. Now it was eerie and so quiet with him gone. I remarked on it to JP.
"You loved him," he said simply. It wasn't a question - just a statement of fact.
"I did," I answered. "Not like a boyfriend or a lover. Not like a parent. Something different. He was good to me, and he cared for me, and he made me think I was special. And he was so grateful for the physical part too. Like I was giving him a gift."
"You were!" JP softly replied as he ran his fingers through my hair.
I wiped away a tear. "Yeah, I guess. It seemed wrong for me not to share my body when we shared so much else. His kids think I am a whore. I hate that."
"You're not. You are a kind soul who knows how to love. That's rare," JP said, rubbing my naked body. "You know what Charlie would have said? You'll be happier if you don't care what they think."
I nodded. "That's true."
I loved being in JP's arms. I loved his muscles and bones and how he held me tight. The scruff of his facial hair as we kissed and our tongues found each other. I loved his mouth and his hand on my hard dick. The intense look on his face as he blew me, as he stroked me, as he sucked on my nuts. I loved how my pleasure was as important as his - even though we both felt free to be greedy and to demand, knowing the other would respond.
I loved his cock. I loved touching it, massaging it, watching it harden. I loved it in my mouth. I loved the feel of his balls as I tugged on them. His whole body was beautiful - hard, lean and rippled, wholly male and perfect. I loved how hairy he was - his legs and his arms, his chest and his face, his pits and his pubes. He was a man. Alpha. Top. I longed for him to dominate me, but I loved that he pleasured me. That he licked and sucked, and ran his tongue in my ass, swirling around and violating my sphincter.
"Can you love me like you loved Charlie?" he asked me.
"No," I said slowly, "But I love you a different way, totally and completely. I am happiest when you are around."
JP's dick went into me. Smooth and slow. Full. I rubbed my stiffness. It was beautiful.
It was right.
He moved inside me. Back and forth. Gentle. Slow. He touched me and rubbed me, feeling my manhood with his hands, my full balls with his fingertips. He kissed me on my neck, nibbled at my ear. It was a wonder.
How can it be wrong?
How can love be wrong? I loved Charlie. I gave him what I could. I loved JP. I gave myself to him freely, happily, ecstatically. Love can't be wrong. It is a lie to say that it is.
I felt him flex deep in me. Then faster thrusts. Stronger. I felt it. I needed it. I didn't need it to prove his love. I needed it for release. JP owned me. He dominated me. I was his. He pounded me, grunting and groaning. Now he wasn't rubbing my body, not tenderly massaging me. He was pawing at my youthful body, like a hyena feeding.
"Oh God!" I called out, reaching down and stroking myself.
Ropes of cum flew out of my cock, splattering on the bed as the most overwhelming sense of pure pleasure swept over me. Followed by a perfect peace that settled into my core. It was perfection.
JP came inside of me. We had done it without a condom. For the first time. That time, and every time since. His and mine, we belong together.
##################
"You know, Charlie had good taste in art," JP said one afternoon. "Some of this is worth something. Julian Schnabel, Keith Haring, Barbara Kruger. There's some money on these walls!"
"Really?"
"Yeah. His kids didn't want them?"
"I guess not. The lawyer told me not to object to whatever they wanted to take, but they didn't take much. Anyway, I'm going to leave everything the way it is for right now. It's like he's gone to a conference and will be back. One day I'll be able to accept that he's gone forever, and that this is my home. But I'm not ready right now," I said.
Within a couple of weeks, I had to take the board exams. It was computer adaptive testing -- which meant that the test was between 75 and 265 questions. When my test stopped at 75 questions, it either meant I passed with flying colors - or was hopelessly stupid. When I got the fat envelope in the mail, I knew I had passed. I held the document in my hand. I was a real live licensed Registered Nurse!
I got a job at the hospital working on 5 West during the 3-to-11 shift. Ironically, I got JP's job, since he was transferring to the CV surgery ICU - though still on the same 3-to-11 shift. We even had the same weekend work schedule. I went through orientation and then started my new career, now having to learn the realities of being a nurse, grappling with all the stuff I didn't learn in school. But I was making an annual salary of nearly $50,000.
When his apartment lease was up, I invited JP to come live with me. It was only then that I began to make some changes in the house. I thought Charlie would approve. He wouldn't want me living in a mausoleum -- but in a house with love and life.