The Further Adventures of Justin & Billy Chapter 2 -- Part IV From Justin's viewpoint
Finally Billy and I were cleaned up from our good morning suckfest. Eating breakfast cereal instead of each other's cocks. As we sat across the little kitchen table from each other silently munching on Cheerios, I decided it was time to talk.
The things I planned to say needed to be said. And I needed to say them. I was frustrated. Unhappy with where our relationship was heading. Unhappy with the restrictions Billy was putting on us.
Things needed to change. We had gotten ourselves into a rut and needed to get out
"Billy," I said.
Before I could continue, he looked up into my eyes and said, "I know, you've got something to say. So say it." He didn't sound happy. Or sad. Or even annoyed. Maybe resigned. Yeah, he sounded resigned. Billy never really liked it when I thought we needed to talk.
But from the very beginning, he had always looked to me to lead the way. At least in matters involving sex. He might not like to admit it, but I literally taught him everything he knows about gay sex. I may not have been the first guy he ever got off with. That honor went to Jess. But that had just been kids messing around. Not really knowing what they were doing. Just getting their rocks off together. I had been Billy's teacher. His mentor. I had given him his first handjob. Blowjob. Fuck. Everything. For everything Billy knew about gay sex, he could thank me.
I started right in with what I had to say, explaining to Billy how he wanted to live in the past. He wanted everything to be the way it had been. He wanted it all to be just like it was when the two of us had first committed to each other. Somehow he had decided that had been a perfect moment in time. A perfect place. Between two perfect people. Him and me.
And now he wanted to set the rules to force things to stay just as they had been that summer after his senior year.
I told Billy that I remembered that time, too, and I understood. I can't deny it was a wonderful summer. The best of my life. When Billy virtually lived with me at my parents' house. In my bed. In my ass. In my mouth. In my hands.
We had been newly in love. Almost everything we did was for the first time. And therefore special. Every word we said. Every look. Every touch. Every kiss. Everything was new. Every morning when we awoke in bed together. Every time we went anywhere together. Every time we did anything.
And the sex, I admitted to Billy, was a series of non-stop perfect orgasms. Oh, my god, the cum that summer. I've never cum so much in my life. We lived in a world of cum
Every handjob. And blowjob. And fuck. We were like two cum machines. I had to admit it was a wonderful and memorable time. We lived for each other and sex. I bet we got off five and six times some days. I wish it could have lasted forever.
"But Billy, it isn't all new anymore. That doesn't mean that our life can't be wonderful. That we can't be in love. But it isn't going to be new. It can't be the first time for everything now. We had that. What we have today, that's reality. If we do this right, our future could be even better than our past.
"But the rules . . . the limits . . . the limits you want to cling to now. The rules you want to keep on enforcing. That's part of that past. It doesn't make sense for us today.
"Do you remember what your limits were like when we first met? You thought you were straight and you were ready to beat the shit out of me. You thought I was a faggot. OK, you were right about that. But the limits you set for yourself . . . and for me . . . back then. They put a lot of restrictions on you. And on me. And even when we started to realize we were falling in love, you still had lots of restrictions. But as our relationship evolved, so did your rules. Remember how you let them change. Let them slip away. So that we could both have what we really wanted. Each other.
"And those changes didn't cause us to be less in love. But more in love.
"And your rules, your limits . . . they kept on changing as you learned to not only get blowjobs, but give them. Not only to fuck but be fucked. And . . . Well, you get the idea.
"Then we really bent the rules for Jess that first time in the hot tub. Then with Ted. And then on and on . . . until we set the rules completely aside for Jess and both decided it was OK if we took turns fucking his hot ass that one night. Why? Because he asked us and we both agreed. We both wanted it.
"That broke all the rules and it didn't bring the sky tumbling down. We still loved each other. And Jess, too. If anything, we were closer than ever for having fucked Jess. We'd shared a unique experience that I bet a lot of guys will never know.
"The point is, even though fucking Jess broke every rule we had, when we decided together that it was OK to do it, it wasn't the end of us.
"We decided it together. We decided to enter a new phase. A new beginning. And it just kept getting better and better.
"If we can't change and grow and react to the realities around us . . . the reality that is us . . . If we can't do that, then our love will get tired and boring and stale. And soon we won't have time for each other. Won't excite each other anymore.
"People have to continue to grow and change and make themselves over or . . ."
Billy finally cut me off. "Justin, I know what this is about. It's about Phil. Sex with Phil. You want to be able to fuck Phil. Or you want us to have Phil and Todd watch us fuck. Or something like that.
"I'm afraid that with you there is always going to be one more guy we're gonna make an exception for. One more guy to fuck. To watch us fuck. The bottom line is that what you're talking about isn't as much about you and me as it is about having sex with other guys. Or for other guys. So they can get off watching us. And turn us on by being watched.
"Fuck, yes, I think that it would be hot as fucking hell to have Phil and Todd watch us fuck. But what I want . . ."
It was my turn to interrupt. "Let me tell you what I want first." I gave Billy a stern look like I seldom gave anyone. "Please," I said, all but ordering his agreement.
We both sat in silence for a moment, until Billy nodded for me to go ahead. Still looking mostly resigned to this talk.
"What I want . . . No, all I want is for each of us to tell the other what it is they want from the other one. What is missing? What can be better? What we need more of? That kind of thing.
"We don't need to do it right now. Not today. We each need to take some time to think about what it is that is really important to us in this relationship.
"After we tell each other what it is we really want from the other, then we need to work together to figure out how to make that happen. . . ."
Billy stood up, agitated by something. I thought it was more something going through his mind than something I said. He raised his hand as though to tell me to stop talking.
"What, Billy?"
"I don't need to think about it. I don't want you to have sex with anyone else," Billy said. His voice completely flat in tone.
I forged on. "This isn't about what we don't want. But what we do want. Both of us. Each of us. We may not be able to agree on everything, but there is a lot we can agree on. I know you and you know me well enough that you know that's true. After we figure out what we both want, then we've just got to find a way to do it."
"Don't tell me yes or no right now. Just say you'll think about it."
Billy sat down. In a few moments he started eating his cereal again without saying a word. I didn't know if he planned to say anything. Finally, I asked, "OK?"
He looked up and said, "OK," as though he didn't realize he needed to give me an answer.
He seemed a little quiet through most of the day. But by lunch things seemed mostly normal. Nothing serious. And then the best sign of all. Late in the afternoon, I asked him, "So what do you want to eat for dinner?"
He gave me his most wicked grin and said, "You, fucker. I wanna eat you!" And before I knew what was happening, we were into a rerun of the night before with enough variations to keep it more than interesting. I came twice. Billy came three times.
I had to assume that was a good sign. It sure as hell was a good night.
To be continued . . .
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the second book in the "I Thought I Knew" series. It is not necessary to read the books in order, although Book 1 chronologically precedes this book. It can be found under the title "I Thought I Knew" in the High School section.
/nifty/gay/highschool/i-thought-i-knew/
The characters in this project are real. The names and some other identifying information in this story have been changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The Copyright for this story is held by Hardreader. The story may not be reprinted or distributed elsewhere in print, electronically or digitally without the permission of the author. I would love to receive comments on this story from readers. Email me at hardreader2000@aol.com
While you're waiting for the next episode, I hope you'll stay happy. And stay hard! -- H.R.