Day 21. The tank room
Themes include fisting, double fisting, extreme toys, bondage, rosebud pumping, body modification, and domination. Average reading time: 15 minutes.
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Holy fuck. I've just woken up and things are different. Seriously different. About 12 hours ago Carl got me to agree to some kind of `special' treatment. I still have no idea what it was, just that I would come out on the other side with a new perspective on life. Well, I have... and that perspective is that I'm hungry to be used. I can't describe just how strong the feelings in my cunt are for fist. I need it. Now. Constantly.
It's like I've just been woke. I mean... once I got on board with the program a few days ago I've enjoyed being fisted but this is a whole new feeling. This is deep seated, like every fibre of my pussy is crying out to be wrecked. Bear in mind that I'm writing this with (what can only be) a giant and unforgiving rubber dildo locked deep inside of me. A few days ago my hole would have been protesting its presence. Now though? I feel as if the dildo is keeping my cunt company -- if I can't have fist then toy is the next best thing.
Carl has promised that he'll come back soon with a video that will explain everything - edited highlights of the treatment I've just had. As usual the School has captured everything in high definition from multiple angles, though I can't remember ever feeling quite such anticipation at seeing the playback of a session before!
Whilst I wait Carl suggested I catch up with my diary, so I'm sitting here writing this whilst wearing one of the School's slate grey and amazingly comfortable all-over body suits (or onesies). Like underwear for the entire body. It feels very different from my usual tank and jock combo (hell, did my body used to tingle like that when I was wearing clothes?!). Even though it's covering up more I somehow feel more sexy - my hours of circuit training and cardio are definitely paying off - I'm beginning to have shape in all the right places. Somehow I feel as if I'm sitting taller too, like I'm a changed man. More secure in myself.
Anyway, enough backfill. If I've got to wait for the video to arrive then this is a good distraction. I can't deny that my initial skepticism about keeping a dairy has disappeared and I love reading back my previous entries. They're a huge turn on and right now writing what is effectively hardcore porn is exactly the diversion I need whilst I wait for this video... and the next session, the next fist...
So... life at the School got even more intense after my depth training and introduction to the ring of steel. The doctor laughingly called it a toy, but in reality it was an evil device of damnation. The continuous ring of metal can stretch a hole from 1" to a gigantic 12" and I feel as if it's started to rule my life. Each time it's inserted into my cunt and the wing nuts slowly spun I can feel it stretching me to new extremes, which of course means that my limits can be maxed out even higher the next time I play. One feeds the other. It's sick.
All of my time has been dedicated to my development as a pussyboicunt. (Man, how things have changed, now I feel proud of that title!) Even circuit training was essential to the plan - apparently I need to build both muscles and stamina. Apparently it's only when you measure play sessions in blocks of 12 hours that you can start doing real damage...
But before today I was worried I was beginning to get addicted to fisting. I don't know why that made me nervous - now I can't imagine life without having a cunt. In fact, I don't think I could go back to a regular life (whatever the fuck that means) if I tried. Back then (if I'm truly being honest) there was a little part of me wishing that my hole could return to a normal size. Well, not totally normal, but at least more regular sized. Now though...
However, even then when I was playing I'm pleased to say those feelings of guilt and regret didn't always last very long. The sex has been so hot that I honestly haven't that much time to think straight. Carl and Jay both seemed madly determined to stretch my cunt to new highs. Some of the time I felt like they were in a crazy competition with each other (like who can punch me the hardest, fastest or deepest) but all the time I felt as if they were in competition with my hole. Each time their goal was to leave it bigger and better than when they found it...
Yesterday was a good example. I was naked, lying on my back with my ass in the air. My arms were stretched out to either side and tied down tight, whilst my legs were pulled back firmly towards my head and tied down too. It was a fucking uncomfortable position to be in and it left my hole defenceless and vulnerable.
Of course, Carl and Jay took total advantage and went on the attack. I don't think there was a single moment when they wasn't a fist from each of them inside of me. I swear at times I could feel them hold hands in my cunt. If I hadn't of been squealing and squirming so fucking much I almost would've said it was romantic.
There was something deeply hot about seeing Carl's hairy forearm buried elbow deep in my hole and then watching one of Jay's lubed up paws sliding in alongside it. The stretch of their intertwined fists felt amazing - especially now that they were no longer fisting me through the centre of the ring. No, in the depth room the steel ring had been used to supersize the entrance to my cunt - allowing Carl and Jay's fists in through the open centre. It had made my hole an easy target.
Now they were fisting me without it, and I got to feel their giant hands from the moment of punching through my pussy lips through to bottoming out deep inside of me. The feelings were totally addictive, as was hearing the two of them talk about my progress and how big they wanted to make my hole. I even ended up learning a new term: cunt drag. That's when your hole is stretched so big that your pussy lips cling to whatever is reaming you out, literally dragging your cunt lining along for the ride.
On and on my training went. Until this morning. Until Carl told me that in yesterday's session he'd felt `resistance' - that my hole had been pushing back against his fists. How that simply wouldn't do.
I was mortified. I had no memory of pushing back at all, though I guess I might have been doing it involuntarily. My training has been pretty hard recently and maybe my body was simply saying it needed to go slower? I tried explaining this to Carl but he wasn't having any of it. He almost accused me of pulling pre-cunthole bullshit tactics, like I didn't want to be a pussyboicunt anymore. I couldn't believe what he was saying as at that point I felt as if I'd been totally committed.
Of course, now I know he was right. I did have further to go.
"God damn it Bobby, after all this time your attitude is still holding you back. Resistance? That's bush-league. You've got to truly give yourself over. You need to understand that your life from now on is going to be a constant journey to fulfil your cunt's true destiny. To be a slack gash that will willingly accommodate any fist or giant toy. To momentarily ease your cravings before starting the cycle all over again... Ask yourself Bobby, have you truly accepted your destiny?"
His words shocked me. Had I accepted the truth? Did I really know what my destiny' meant? Before I had time to think Carl said that he could help, if I totally trusted him. I just had to volunteer for treatment in the Sigma room. Sigma room? I desperately cast my mind back to walking down the long corridor to my depth training session in the Omega room. Christ, it was only a couple of days ago but there were so many doors! No matter how hard I tried all I could remember was Kappa (arsehole realignment) and Chi (biological self-lube implantation). I was bought back to the moment by hearing Carl saying that this was a no turning back, no fucking about' moment. That this was the real deal.
Of course I trusted him, and of course I said yes. I did ask for details, any information he could give so I knew what was involved and exactly how it would change me. He just replied that the less I knew the better, and that if he told me the details it wouldn't be as effective. That I just had to go with it. I was nervous but also deeply curious. Just how much more could there be for to me to experience?
So, so, much more apparently--
The video has just arrived! I'm going to write this in real time as I watch. See whether I can capture what I'm feeling as I see it happening.
I remember the first part... Carl injecting me with an anaesthetic to knock me out. Man did I go out like a light! Everything from there is a blank.
Marcus has just come in with a heavy-duty gurney, obviously to transport me down the corridor to the treatment room. There's some kind of large canvas webbing lying on the trolley, which is spilling off on both sides. The two are now lifting me on top and are stripping me of my clothes, my plug and my cock cage. It seems weird looking at myself laid out on the trolley like so much meat on a rack.
At least now I know why my body has been tingling: they've just started shaving my entire body from the neck down! Marcus has asked Carl whether this is strictly necessary (and so am I!).
"Of course, you haven't attended one of these procedure before, have you? His body hair must be removed to ensure nothing interferes with the suit. We only get one shot at submersion."
Submersion?! I guess that must be what Sigma stands for? Marcus is now asking how the treatment works. Apparently he's only heard about it second hand.
"Well, you're in for an experience. This is the kind of procedure that only operations like the School can offer. We're talking about the absolute front-line of cunt destruction... it's certainly going to change Bobby forever."
"I get that, but how? Surely we've changed Bobby a fair bit already, haven't we? His pussy development is off the scale!"
"Yes, but is he a willing pussy? That's the key question we have to answer. Bobby has to not just want to be fisted, he has to need to be fisted. It has to become part of his nature" Carl is saying.
"Like second nature? Like he'll want to be fisted without even thinking about it?"
"Hmm, it's more nuanced than that. Being fisted without thinking about it is too passive. No, what we're creating is something far more instinctual. Fisting will become Bobby's first and only nature: he's going to constantly search it out. He's going to wake up from this procedure wanting to permanently wreck his cunt, twenty-four/seven. After all, that's what it means to be pussyboicunt."
Fucking hell! They were some of the hottest words I had ever heard. Carl had perfectly described the feelings that were running through my body right now. No wonder I was so fucking desperate for fist, I needed it!
"A big part of the treatment is going to be Bobby realising his true nature and seeing the video playback. Once he's seen what his cunt is truly capable of he'll know that anything is possible. The comfort of knowing he's done it once means there's nothing holding him back from doing it over and over again."
This is beginning to sound pretty intense. Just what the fuck did they do to me? By now my entire body has been shaved and Carl was motioning to Marcus to grab a neoprene suit that was lying on the gurney's bottom shelf.
Marcus is complaining about how heavy the suit is. It certainly looks thick.
"Yeah, that's the magnetic material sewn into the suit lining. Without it we couldn't achieve perfect weightlessness when he's in the tank" said Carl.
WTF? At this point I haven't a clue what was going on or how this related to my cunt development. Now the two of them are manhandling my body into the suit. It covers virtually my entire body - the only parts left uncovered are my face and my pale, hairless backside. I'm now lying front down on the gurney and I'm being wheeled to the treatment room.
I'm taken to a large, dark room that contains a huge, steel framed, glass sided tank. It's easily taller than Carl and at least twice my body length. The insides are lit up with a pale crazy light and if anything it reminds me of some crazy Damien Hirst installation. It looks like it's brimmed with a viscous and clear liquid. Around the room are dotted a bunch of control panels with leads running to the tank, and an industrial crane overhangs from the ceiling. This looks fucking crazy.
To one side stands the doctor in his dirty transparent rubber coat (somehow I'm not surprised to see the de facto headmaster of the School involved in all this). He's asking Carl and Marcus whether I'm fully prepped.
Marcus is replying that I am, but now he's asking why I need to be wearing the suit. Tell us both doctor!
The doctor is explaining exactly how it works. The suit - once immersed in the tank and its special fluid - is designed to perfectly mimic weightlessness. Apparently it will make me feel as if I'm suspended in space, unconscious of anything and as if I'm floating away. The tank is perfectly heated to my body temperature to help maximise this feeling. I've just heard the doctor say that it's as close to the womb as the School can create. Fuck!
At this point I can see I'm still totally knocked out, but now the doctor has mentioned weightlessness my memory is slowly beginning to kick in. It feels vaguely familiar. I've no real idea though...
Carl and the doctor are now attaching what looks like a blindfold, earphones and... is that breathing apparatus? It looks like it. This is getting sicker and sicker. Surely they're not... they fucking well are!
Marcus and Carl are wrapping the webbing on the gurney around my body whilst the doctor is lowering the crane down to the trolley. They're hooking the webbing to the crane and now lifting my body into the air and into the fucking tank!!! Fuck! I can see myself being immersed in the thick liquid. It's covering my entire body and yet the crane is still lowering me down. In fact, it looks as if I'm sinking! Fuck, I'm definitely sinking. This is batshit crazy.
The doctor is operating one of the control panels. He's just said that he's engaging the electromagnets. Oh my god! My entire body is suddenly fucking floating just above the webbing. I'm perfectly still, suspended in the liquid. The metal in the suit must act as a gigantic conductor. I'm literally weightless! The crane is withdrawing taking the webbing with it.
But what the fuck has this got to do with my cunt? I can see that my ass is exposed to the liquid but...?
Now Carl is stripping naked and putting some heavy looking boots on. Oh, and some breathing apparatus and a diving mask too. Is he getting in the tank with me? He is! Oh my fuck he looks so hot. His body is so sculptured and his thick, heavy dick and giant balls are suspended in the liquid--
(Fuck! FUCK! What was that?! I just felt a fucking spasm in my cunt! My ass just involuntarily contracted with pleasure at the sight of Carl naked in the tank. Could it be that the machine fucking and pleasure reprogramming has actually worked? My pussy is now reacting to sexual stimuli as if it was my dick?! Woah, there it goes again! Just seen a heavy stream of precum float out of Carl's hefty cock. Yup, this is for real now. Sweet!)
Carl is standing - obviously the boots must be weighted to keep him upright. He's now effortlessly separating my legs and revealing my open asshole. Surely he's not going to fist me?
The doctor is now talking to Marcus again. He's saying that the magnets will hold me perfectly in place as Carl wrecks my hole. Apparently the School devised this treatment to take advantage of basic physics. For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction... Carl's fists are going to be the action, the magnets and suit are going to absorb the reaction, leaving my hole with no place to go other than being wrecked.
This is sick! The doctor is now saying that to ease Carl's path the sedative I was given contains a relaxant that will dilate every muscle in my body. In particular my cunt should be slack and open...
Woah, apparently the liquid is a special high-tech lube that seamlessly forms a friction-free coating on anything it touches. And given my cunt is gaping open it should be flowing inside of me and depth lining me...
Now Carl is nodding at the doctor, as if to say he's ready. The doctor touches the control panel and says he's going to gently wake me up and start the procedure.
The doctor starts talking in a calm, soothing voice. He's saying my name, he's asking me to come back from wherever I've been, to listen and let myself completely go...
Oh my god! I remember this! I remember that voice! I remember waking up and feeling complete darkness like I'd never felt before, even though I was sure that my eyes were open. I couldn't feel my body, it was as if it wasn't even there. I almost panicked, but then I heard the voice, telling me to let myself go. And so I did...
Fucking hell, this is unreal. I'm watching myself floating in the tank and remembering myself feeling more relaxed than I'd ever been in my entire life. I was conscious of nothing except the darkness and the voice.
Now the doctor is telling me to let all of my tension float away... and to focus... to focus on my real purpose in life... to be a pussyboicunt... to relax my mind and yet feel the insatiable hunger deep inside of me...
Christ, it's all beginning to make sense! I remember this, I remember the yearning welling up inside my body so strongly that I thought I would be overcome with lust. I knew I needed fist, I knew that I was a pussyboicunt and that I was more horny than I'd ever been in my life. But somehow I knew that if I relaxed, if I simply let myself go, then I would be made hole again... I just had to give in to all my desires...
It was then that I felt the most perfect and complete feeling in the world. Up until now I seemingly wasn't aware of my body - that I even had a body - but now I felt something large pressing against me. The voice is saying that what I could feel was my my cunt, and my cunt was the pleasure centre of my world.
Fuck! I'm watching this and my pussy is spasming and juicing up as I'm both remembering and seeing what's happening! Carl has made a perfect clenched fist and his outstretched arm is pressing against my hole.
`Let go' the doctor is saying. Let go. I have no choice, it's the most natural thing in the entire world. Carl's fist smoothly slides in with no resistance or pause. And not just his fist... his forearm, his elbow, fuck! He's almost at his bicep!
Meanwhile, what I was feeling was pure, all-consuming bliss. Deeper and deeper the feelings went inside of me... Even in my tranquility the waves of purposeful pleasure riding through my body were extreme.
Looking at the screen now I can't believe how deep Carl got. He's never been that far before - but it's like he's born to be there. My cunt isn't fighting or pushing back, it's just being. It's amazing to watch. He's gently rotating his arm - that must have been the cause of the waves of pleasure - and now he's gently pulling and pushing his fist into and out of my body. The magnets, suit and lube are all doing their job. I was floating yet trapped. Totally secure and yet I couldn't feel a single restraint. All I could feel was the bliss from being ffucked.
Now the doctor is talking again. Saying that this pleasure is what it means to be a pussyboicunt. That my cunt can give me more pleasure than anything in the world. (Right now I fucking believe him!) The voice is telling me to accept it, to embrace it, celebrate it, to need it...
Fucking hell. Here in the present I'm almost lost for words. What I'm seeing is the kind of transformation I could never imagine. I almost can't believe it... The combination of the bliss that I felt, and the reality of Carl reaming out my cunt, reshaping it and remoulding it: the perfect receptacle for his fists. Any resistance - in my hole and in my mind - is totally being broken down, hour by hour.
Carls' actions become more violent, more intense, more brutal. He's now punching my hole, wrecking my cunt to new levels of depravation. Punching the full depth of his arm inside of me and then yanking it out in one powerful motion. Double fisting me and then alternately punching my hole with both of his strong and perfectly defined arms. Not an inch of my cunt is left untouched. He's remaking me in his image. Better than ever before. All I feel, both in my memory and watching myself on screen, is pure ecstasy.
The destruction goes on and on. I never want it to stop, but now my memory starts to fade. I guess the doctor must have eventually pumped in some kind of anaesthetic gas into my mask. I certainly don't have any memory of my cunt being empty...
Wait, what's that?! Marcus is lowering something into the tank. It looks like a dildo! No way! No fucking way! It's a cast of Carl's arm, a cast of his entire clenched fist and meaty forearm! Carl has literally just removed his own arm from my cunt and is now sliding a substitute fist into my hole and locking it to the suit. Fucking hell! So that's what's inside of me - Carl's arm. Christ! I thought I was horny before, but knowing that Carl is effectively still inside of me is both soothing and making me desperate to be used again!
And so that's how the video ends. I guess I must have been winched out, unsuited and then hosed down and relocked. The dildo is massive, but it really feels as if it belongs there. Somehow it's making me happy--
At that point Carl came back into the room and read my diary entry. He seemed really happy with what I'd written, and he was glad that I had seen the light. And then he asked a fateful question: whether I was happy to continue? Of course I said yes. I mean, how could I say anything else right now? My hole was the centre of my world.
That possibly could have been a mistake!
Carl unlocked the harness holding his dildo inside of me. It was so big and my hole so distended that immediately it started sliding out of my ass. He grabbed hold of the end and helped it on its way. Jesus! It felt huge on the way out. Even fucking bigger when I saw the clenched fist of his hand. No wonder I had felt so fucking full, and no wonder that I felt distressingly empty now it was removed.
Carl then said that I had made amazing progress - on so many fronts - but that there was still so much more work to be done. He said that he wasn't happy with my pussy lip development and that they were out of proportion to my new cunt and needed to be made much, much bigger. Until then they just wouldn't look natural.
He said all of this totally matter of factly, and yet somehow I felt responsible. Was it something that I had done, or hadn't done? I had no idea. I blurted out to Carl that I wanted to be the best cunt I could be, and if that meant big pussy lips then so be it...
And so that's how I found myself rigged up to this horrendous pumping machine! Carl grabbed what he called a `rosebud cylinder' - an open 4" wide acrylic cylinder a few inches long with a much smaller (but still thick) probe sticking out of the middle. He lubed it up and then stuck it into my hole. The probe went inside of me, but the cylinder part enveloped my ass opening. It was then that I could see a small tube connected to the end that ran into an industrial looking machine humming away on the floor.
Fuckinghellfire! Carl flipped a switch and all of a sudden I could feel the cylinder being drawn tightly into my ass! The air was sucked out and I could see my nascent pussy lips being sucked out into the cylinder!
"Fuck kid, that looks sweet! We'll start you off slow, just an hour or so to begin with" said Carl. Motherfucker! "The machine will automatically cycle the pressure up and down so expect your lips to be nice and puffy by the end. A few days of this and we'll have you fixed in no time!"
Those 60 minutes were some of the sweetest agony I've ever felt in my entire life. I got through the pain by thinking of the progress I was making and how essential to my development it was. All the time I could see my lips through the clear acrylic. I couldn't believe just how big and purple they looked. Kinda juicy too.
Eventually the machine lessened off and Carl came back. He seemed pretty pleased with my progress but said that no matter how great pumping was, the effects were only temporary. Unless you took affirmative action...
And so that's how I've ended up wearing a new version of the ring of steel. Yes, the same metal spreaders, but now there's a second, smaller inner ring that's studded with big silicon clamps every few inches. The clamps are gripping the flanges of my pussy and stopping them deflating and returning back in size. I'm in fucking agony!
No matter how extreme I think my training is going to get, I am always surprised at how I can be subjected to something new and totally degrading. My pussy is pulsating with fire. Carl seems very happy though and I guess I'm happy that my cunt is evolving to new levels... Does it really have to be so fucking intense though?! It's now time for bed. He's just said something about how it'll soon be time to find out whether the stretch has really taken hold... Fuck it!
Next: Bobby is ruined forever...
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