Hi there! New story by a relatively new author. I hope you like it. Normally, right about now I'd tell you the pairing, but that would ruin it!!! If I was you, I'd go and read "Don't Ever Die Again" if you haven't already. Good stuff! And if you're reading this story lookin' for nothin' but porn, go elsewhere. Also, I'd like it very much if you would go to my site and read some other stuff: http://www.just.emotions.freehomepage.com
Now for the disclaimer!...Yeehaw? Sucks to be me, cuz I don't know 'nsync, or anybody that knows them. I made this all up, I'm not saying they're gay, don't believe it, and when I dyed my hair last week it turned green instead of brown. Whoops, how'd that get in there? Now read!
The First Day By The Runt
I remember the very first day. Every last bit of it.
I had turned up the music on my stereo so loud that it filled my senses and it became all I knew. Right then and there I could've almost forgotten the feelings of loneliness and confusion suffocating me, tearing away at me until I thought there was nothing left...almost. Confused about what? Damned if I knew. All I felt right then was the soft, slow melody of an old song washing over me.
You came into the room. I couldn't hear you over the music, but I could sense you were there right away. You were swaying awkwardly with the bus and a bit of alcohol in your system, too. Nothing new, I guess. You don't know it, but I was waiting for you in that room. I knew you were gonna come in, 'cause I know exactly how you think, even when you're a bit tipsy.
"Hey man," I sighed with that half-awake voice I knew you loved, even if you never said it yourself. I was stretched out on my back in the lounge on the couch. You were in the doorway, your silhouette holding onto the doorframe for support. I loved moments like this, just you and me. They felt so real to me. They were such a contrast to the life we led, where you didn't know what was true or what was just an illusion. You were something real that I could feel, just reach out and touch and know you're there. I think you knew that.
You didn't respond when I spoke, which didn't worry me at the time. We were both dead tired, and you came over and laid down next to me on your stomach. You closed your eyes, and I unconsciously gazed at your eyelashes fluttering in the dim light. I wanted to reach out and feel them run across my fingertips, but something kept my hand from venturing forward. It was so calm all of a sudden with you there, and suddenly I felt like I didn't need the music on right at the moment. I turned it off and the room was draped in deafening silence.
That's when you opened your eyes lazily, and I saw so much behind them that I already knew. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, and then you laughed quietly.
"What?" I said with the smile that I now know you find so infuriatingly sexy. Your hand brushed mine for the briefest of moments, and normally I would've thought nothing by it, but there was something in your eyes that made me tense up at the touch.
Your gaze drifted to my stomach, and you drowsily fingered at the buttons that lined down my shirt. I tried to ignore the feeling of your fingers on my chest, leaving a trail of warmth in their path, but I couldn't. >What's so different about you being here now?< I thought to myself. >Why is it that I'm suddenly scared and aroused all at once? I mean, it's ONLY you. Only...< My thoughts trailed off, not even sure of what I was thinking.
Then you slowly, gently, began to unbutton my shirt, starting at the top button. You were still drowsy as ever, I was nervous. If you had started to unbutton my shirt any other time I couldn't have cared less, so why did my breath quicken now? What's so different about right now? And I know it was just me that was tense, because you were so nonchalant in your movements, as if you didn't know you were turning me on and freaking me out all at once.
"What are you doing?" I said softly, trying to hide the fear and jumpiness in my voice and eyes. I think we've both decided since then that I failed miserably at that. You just kept fiddling with those damn buttons, shrugged with a bit of fear yourself, kept your eyes locked on your fingers working away the whole time. I swallowed thickly and tried to remain calm. You must still have no idea what you had been doing to me.
I was propped up on my elbows, and when you got the last button undone and my beater was exposed, I fell back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, almost through it. Now you were next to my stomach, your arm resting on me. Your hand was on my chest then, tracing small patterns up and down my shirt with your middle finger. You were still watching your finger, as if it was a small animal hesitantly checking out new surroundings. It was as if you were watching it from afar and you had no control over it. You said my name quietly, and I looked down to see you staring up at me. I saw something there that I hadn't really seen in you before, and I couldn't pry my eyes away from yours no matter how hard I tried.
"What's on your mind?" You murmured. We didn't have to whisper, but the silence that enveloped us was so loud that we couldn't help it. You were also afraid of scaring me away, I think, like a 'no sudden movements' kinda thing. I was just about to answer you when my cell phone rang. Your finger on my chest faltered at the shrill sound. I reached for it almost gratefully, not trusting myself to speak when you were looking at me like that. >Why is this such a problem all of a sudden?<
"Hello?" I said with a shaky voice that I cursed silently. >Damn,< I said to myself. >This isn't gonna be a long call.< It was Melinda. She was telling me to remember something for tomorrow, and listen buddy, I swear to god if you forget this time I'll kick you in the nuts, and see ya tomorrow, kid. As if I was listening. I said goodbye, and watched my hand mechanically shut the phone off.
"Who was that?" You said with a questioning look in your eyes. You pulled yourself up to where I was. I forced myself to answer, this time sounding a little calmer.
"That was Melinda." You looked as if you could care less.
"Oh yeah? What did she want?" You whispered into my ear, your breath tickling my neck, your lips brushing my cheek. I froze, forgetting what you had just asked me. You were so close that I could've counted your eyelashes. When I didn't answer, you tenderly kissed me on the cheek, almost as if by reflex. I turned to face you, noticing that you weren't really aware of what you had just done.
And I kissed you back.
On the lips.
Open mouth and everything.
I kissed my best friend, who's a boy. That's all I could think. Oh fuck.
I fucking kissed you back. To this day I still can't get over it. Why I did it I didn't know, and I didn't care. I still don't care.
You opened my lips with your tongue, and it delved inside as we both explored unknown territory. Our hands roamed each other's bodies, and we both could feel each other's unspoken passion in every touch. At that very moment there was no reason, no object, no purpose, no right or wrong, nobody else in the world except me and you.
"You're drunk," I said between kisses, never stopping. It was more of a statement than a question.
"Yes, I'm drunk," You said, breathless. "I'm drunk on you."
You began sucking on my neck, and I thought I would've come right there. My eyes slipped closed as I enjoyed this feeling of bliss. >This is why I love our time together. This is why I was so nervous. It's because I love you. I always have.< I stared at the ceiling in thought, as you continued to kiss my neck, playfully nipping at my collarbone with your teeth.
"Josh," I managed to say. You stopped and looked at me, into me, with those amazing blue eyes. "Josh, what does this mean?" You didn't have to ask what I was talking about.
You stopped, thinking silently to yourself. "I dunno, Justin. What do you want this to mean?" You said finally.
"Forever..." I said, not thinking. It was the first thing that came to mind. And it sounded perfect to me.
"Alright then. Forever it is." And you kissed me again, gently, as if to seal the deal.
That was the first day. And I know we'll never see the last day. Because we said forever, and we meant it.
I remember the very first day. Every last bit of it.
The End
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