Chapter Eighty-one
Saturday Aug 10 continued
"I am not going to ask you how they got here" Kroos started to get up "but that is no accident - "
"Sit down Kroos don't get pissed!"
"I am not... angry" Kroos was out of the chair now, several people making a point of watching the development "but I do need to - "
"You going over there?"
"No, as a matter of fact I was heading for the restrooms" Kroos signaled the waitress who pointed back towards the bar "unless you - "
"Okay okay" Joel tried not to look at all the faces watching their every move. He almost spilled his drink in the process.
"Do not do anything until I get back" Kroos started the sideways wiggle away from the table "you are acting more nervous than I am."
"I was just going to..."
Kroos just stared at him and gave him an exasperated look then inched away.
As soon as he was gone, Joel was at the other table in a flash. Or at least as fast as he could thread his big frame through the diners to the other side of the room.
"Nice place" Arn said before Joel could blurt out anything crazy "so I guess you get the last laugh."
"Last... what?" Joel looked between them.
"Good t'see ya again bud" Jerry stood up and held out his hand. Joel wanted to almost hug him when he saw that big smile again, but now he the was one who was confused. He shook hands and then Arn held out his hand as well. At least they were acting civil if not downright friendly.
"How did you guys find this place?" Joel looked around. Maybe a quarter of the earlier faces were watching this new exchange.
"Your directions really sucked" Arn tried to look stern "luckily the folks back at... S*******n... Falls... knew where to send us."
"Man you should see you two" Joel lowered his voice "you cleaned up at your motel?"
"We ain't staying here tonight" Jerry cut in as soon as he saw Arn's expression "I hadda twist Arn's arm here just to make this detour."
"Joel I didn't think this was the right place at all til we saw you and the doc sitting here" Arn looked around "what's the story here?"
"You wouldn't believe me -- hell you didn't before -- and you won't til later - "
"What's later?" Jerry was keeping one eye on Arn the whole time. Arn was playing it very very cool.
"Like I said, I had this fucked up idea I was gonna y'know... sucker Kroos into doing a little..." he looked around, just knowing that the table behind Jerry was hanging on his every word "y'know... like the beach..." he made a point of nodding at the two guys, who looked away fast "but with all the proper... accessories."
"Whatdaymean 'was'?" Arn was keeping his voice soft and even "Kroos backin out?"
"No... I mean maybe -- I mean I don't know..."
"Dude..." Jerry started laughing "y'gotta go easy on the weed, it's playin tricks with yer memory!"
"I ain't high!" Joel blurted out, loud enough for the closest table to screach to a silent halt.
"Bullshit Joel" Jerry took a sip still chuckling "yer eyes are like totally bloodshot!"
Joel snapped back like he was stung by a bee. He almost banged into the table behind him.
"Oh that..." he crouched down at their table hoping to attract less attention now that he was guessing why, or at least hoping why, everyone was staring at him "naw that's just from the pool before... y'know all the chlorine?"
"If y'say so" Jerry looked at Arn "it's cool we're here then?"
"Fuck yeah!" Joel stayed crouching, his voice nice and low "I'm real glad y'found it - "
"Think he's glad?" Arn nodded his head over at the far side of the room. Jerry turned and then Joel stood up, turning to see Kroos returning to their table. Instead of stopping he continued on to another table, talking with a husband and wife team, shaking hands and smiling like everything was all under control. Which is was far from.
"Yeah he's fine..." Joel watched Kroos for a second "better'n me even."
"What'zat?" Arn looked up at Joel "so you ain't fine with us here?"
"Hell no that's not what I meant" Joel saw the waitress bring their soups and salads, looking around for them. Either she was near-sighted or too busy to see them, but she left the food and headed back to the front where she found Mort. They exchanged a great deal of quick words.
"I better get back" Joel said "look I wouldn't have told ya t'show up if I didn't want you to be here okay?" looking right at Jerry "but I'm just not sure the... game's gonna go off, is all - "
"You mean Kroos is gonna bolt?"
"Just stick around later okay?" Joel broke away "don't leave before y'find me okay?"
"Okay..." Arn offered slowly, watching Joel wiggle his way back to their table "that was really odd."
"Whatdya expect?" Jerry looked around "I still think this place is not what he told us it was..."
"Too bad, I'm hungry" as the waitress started piling food onto their table.
All other issues disappeared as the two dug in.
Joel was back at the table starting to inhale the soup and some bread when Mort came over to him. He sat down in Kroos' seat,
"We gotta talk Joel" he had loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt but it was doing little good.
"No shit" Joel kept his voice down between mouthfuls of food. Damn, he forgot how hungry he was. Again Kroos was right; he had been starving. Maybe he oughta be a doc or somethin, he laughed to himself "so I guess we're good to go right?"
"Oh you could say that" Mort looked around "you mind filling me in on the details here? I get this cock-eyed impression this is your show!"
"Geez Mort okay well" Joel looked up when the waitress brought a plate of fried shrimp "hey I didn't order these."
"I did" Mort made room for the new plate, drilling into Joel "those two across the way friends of yours?" pointing to the big blond dude and his husky friend.
"Yeah that short husky guy -- short husky 'married' guy -- is a buddy of mine named Jerry" grabbing a shrimp or two "and the big blond dude, and I do mean big if y'get my meaning Mort, his name is Arn - "
"They from around here?"
"Shit no" Joel was finishing the soup and getting busy with the shrimp, making a grimace at Mort stealing one "they're a coupla truckers we ran into -- well not 'ran' into -- but well let's say they almost ran off the road when they saw us coming up from Port - "
"What the hell did you do?"
"Me, I was driving. Kroos though was having trouble keeping his shorts up" Joel winked and chuckled "and when they followed us to the beach... let's say they're both kinda impressive outa their clothes" Joel whispered lower "especially that big Arn dude! Man he makes Kroos' look like a cocktail wiener."
"I'll be back" and Mort got up, waving down the waitress as he did. He exchanged a few words with her then started working through the room, stopping to talk to a few people as he did. Joel was almost ready to finish off the shrimp when a shadow loomed over him. He almost choked.
"Hungry?" boomed Kroos' voice as he sat down.
"Ah oh yeah" Joel choked out "thought maybe you were half-way back home by now."
"I have been thinking I should be" Kroos went back to the soup but it was cold. The waitress was right there.
"Everything okay?"
"Sorry but I let this get cold - "
"I'll bring you another one" and she grabbed it and was gone in a whirl of arms. Kroos grabbed the last shrimp "where did these come from?"
"Compliments of Mort" Joel looked at him "so y'wanna slip out before - "
"Before what?"
"I dunno" Joel looked around "before the rest of the food gets here. Before anyone else sees us" nodding over at Arn and Jerry "before - "
"You might want to know who is all here" Kroos let out a big sigh "you may not know but there is another room in back."
"Back where?" Joel looked around "besides here and the bar?"
"Yes..." Kroos held Joel's gaze in his "and I do not think all of your friends, yes most are here Joel, would accept our departure right now - "
"What?" Joel kept looking around here "here? Who's here?"
"You name a name and they are here... almost" and Kroos proceeded to list every smiling face he saw beaming at him in the other room. Their expressions were the same as Joel's eying the plate of shrimp. Except this time HE was the main course. Of course he neglected to mention a few of the guests, like some of the adults and naturally the "sponsors" but he suspected Joel knew all about them. He was still throwing names at a steadily panicking Joel when the second order of soup arrived. It was followed after two more of Kroos' names on the list when their main courses arrived. They were both too busy shuffling plates and digging in to notice Mort had followed another complimentary order of shimp over to another table. Even Joel did not notice that Mort had set himself down and was engaged in a prolonged conversation with none other than Arn and Jerry. In that order.
"Okay I gotta ask -- don't get pissed" Hank had changed seats and was sitting next to Billy Hammes, the tall football player from the arch-rival South team.
"I know what you gonna ask and y'can forget it!" he looked at his teammate Stan Braersten "we ain't - "
"I ain't askin about... y'know the doc's well kinda I am - "
"Look we are like outnumbered big time here" Hammes looked around the table, especially at Moose "but we ain't talkin unless y'want a fight on yer hands - "
"We ain't here to fight Billy, you know that!" Hank caught Moose's glance and signaled: all cool "but that's it, why are you here? I mean how'd you know about this?"
"Don't tell'm" Stan almost kneed Billy under the table "let him figure it out!"
"Okay I'll tell you why I'm here -- why a LOT of us are here, and if y'wanna tell me or not that's your business. But as you figured out, all of us -- well let's say most of us in school, y'know the first thing we know we're getting calls for the coaches saying like we need to get us physicals okay? It's kinda weird, right in the middle of summer n'all, and some of us -- Moose there for one -- he's like not even in TOWN okay? But it's not like the whole team, it's just one or two of us -- yeah y'heard me TWO of us, shit I even hear once it was three guys at once!"
"What?" Hammes almost choked on an onion ring "three?"
"Yeah, like three guys all at once getting - "
"Three on the machine at once?" Hammes spat out, the words flying across the table like bullets. Half the table got very silent fast.
"Machines?" Hank whispered, shooting menacing looks at several of the other guys "what machines?"
"Shut the fuck up Hammes" Stan looked around, not happy they were becoming the center of attention.
"Billy I don't know what...'machines' you talkin about. I'm talkin about guys goin in to the doc's for 'exams'. Except the exams turn into something else real fast" he looked at Stan "and you saw the cameras right?"
"Fuck!" Stan spat under his breath "that's why -- " and he spun away from the table "I'm hittin the johns. If I don't come back - "
"You're comin back Stanner!" Billy did not get up "I got the car remember?"
"So I'll walk" and he stomped out of the room, almost daring anyone to stop him.
"I'm just tryin to get to the bottom of this" Hank looked at Billy "like those two" he jerked his head at the other end of the table, towards mister smith and johnson "you know those two?"
"Should I?" Billy sneered "what is this? Parents night?"
"Fuck no. You never saw them before, right?"
"Fuck no" Billy mocked Hank, trying to bait him. Hank was angling for something bigger.
"Let's say they got real deep pockets and real..." Hank lowered to a whisper "real complicated connections, if y'get my meaning."
"Y'mean - "
"Don't say a word okay?" Hank said "but when we got our 'exams' y'know they were watching everything behind that one-way mirror, remember that thing?"
"Shit!" Billy shouted, again the center of attention "shit..." more quietly "I knew that's what it was, but Stan didn't believe me!"
"Were you two there - "
"None of yer business."
"Well don't say anything but..." Hank leaned in closer "I mean it! No more shouting okay? But all those cameras, all that videotape... THOSE guys, you gettin in now?"
"Maaaaaan..." Hammes tried to turn his head to look at them, but Hank stopped him "y'mean...?"
"Those suits cost mucho bucks, Bill, okay?"
"Fuck you ain't tellin me..."
"So y'wanna tell me what y'meant about those machines now?"
"Didn't you... you guys" looking around the room "y'mean we're the only ones got the fuckin machines?"
"I don't know what you're talkin about unless you explain! What 'machines'? And no, all we hadda do, what I hadda do was, y'know go through the whole 'exam' shit. Y'know get naked, get hard, get off. Sometimes with..." he looked right into Billy's face, almost daring him to say something "sometimes with...a guess what! in me, sometimes not."
"That's what I'm talkin about!" Billy blurted out "shit! Say boo to Stan about this and you're dead!"
"Say what? What I'm talkin about is fuckin..." whispering "dildoes up my chute, y'know big pink -- or in Will's case not pink -- plastic" he caught himself smirking "we all got them made, y'know, from...y'know real life!"
"Say again?"
"All of us got Hank juniors, or whoever juniors, made of our dicks. In case we misplace the real ones? Shit all I know is the docs got some kinda way of modeling from real life, so some of us got our own dicks stuck up us... but the unlucky ones..."
"Whatdyamean?" Billy was hooked now "what unlucky ones?"
"And the unlucky ones..." he glared at Billy "got the real deal okay?"
"No fuckin way!"
"Fuckin..." he smiled over the snear "way. And yeah it's all on video or worse..."
"What worse...?" Billy was watching Stan re-emerge around the corner heading for the table "but these... dildoes weren't hooked up -- wired y'know -- to anything?"
"Only the flesh-n-blood models" Hank looked up, guessing Stan heard the last part.
"What y'two talkin about?" Stan looked back and forth "what models?"
"Billy here wouldn't tell me what you two hadda go through at the docs' place" Hank gave Billy a sharp look "so I was giving him a real general kinda outline what me and the guys here hadda do, y'know, like to 'pass' our physicals. Of course Billy here thought I was makin it all up, tryin to yank his chain or shit."
"I don't wanna know" Stan went back to his meal. No matter what, this boy was not going to let this opportunity for a good meal pass him by.
"So where are the johns?" Hank stood up, knowing as soon as he left Billy would get grilled about their little exchange.
"I wouldn't go there" Stan slurred out, his mouth full of food.
"Why?" They broken or something?"
"Not unless y'want... aw forget it!"
"What?" Hank sat back down "somebody say something to you?"
"Man I knew we shouldn'ta come out here" he looked at Billy who just shrugged his shoulders.
"Man y'gotta knock it off" Billy shook his head "nobody's followin ya!"
"Naw not that!"
"What? Somebody said something. In there right?" Hank could see that Stan was a loose cannon right now. But he was holding way too much inside him for his own good.
"Okay so why you out here Nordo?" Stan wheeled towards Hank, expecting him to blow up at the use of the term.
"Don't let anybody else here you say that unless y'want yer face t'look like that steak, okay? I'm out here -- the reason we're all out here -- is because we got a call today -- no it's not important who right now okay? -- but we got a call sayin Kroos is gonna be forced to go through the drill he put us through. Y'know table's turned for once. And anybody wanna see him get his comeuppance y'might say, well meet at Mort's. We thought it was just a meetin place, y'know, so we could all go somewhere else. But when Mort sees us he gives us all like this VIP treatment like okay? I still don't know if we gonna hafta pay for all this or our friends with the deep pockets and the thousand dollar suits are picking up the bill. All I know is this is NOT what I was expecting not by a long shot okay?"
"Shit..." Billy looked at Stan "we just heard we were gonna see Kroos finally forced to spill the beans, y'know? about all this weird shit. Y'mean he's gonna hafta..?"
"Yeah... like the Y but with a bigger audience" Hank looked around the room "and I get the feeling not everyone's ready for what's goin down."
"Like..." Stan looked around "like who?"
"Like you two for one" Hank looked at Billy "you two don't even know what's the story here right?"
"What story?"
"Not everyone comes out here to eat."
"Say what?"
"Y'might say it's Mort's Supper Club and Private Men's Club if y'get my drift" he looked at Stan then past him to those two guys Moose somehow attracted back at Falls. They were doing everything short of bugging the tables to overhear what was passing for conversation around the room.
"Y'mean... like..." Stan looked around, noting the entire room was guys "like strippers?"
"Yeah kinda like that..." he looked at Billy with a worried look now "but the ones on stage ain't the shaving kind."
"What?" Stan looked at Hank like he was nuts "y'mean chicks with hairy - "
"He ain't talkin about chicks fuckhead" Billy looked at Hank "right?"
"I would not call Kroos a chick!" Hank almost laughed "not to his face. Not if I wanted to live."
"Fuck!" Stan threw his fork down in disgust and shock "fuck!"
"What?" Billy looked at him "we don't haveta stay... now we know..."
"You makin this shit up Nordo!" Stan was looking like he was about ready to deck someone "y'think we're some kinda - "
"ShutUP!" Billy looked at him "y'wanna walk outa here alive or not idiot!" almost ready to push him back into his chair "y'want the whole room comin down on us? Sit down and shuttup already!"
"Shit!" Stan looked at Hank out of the corner of his eye "no wonder that guy..."
"What guy?"
"Guy back in the..." he leaned over to Billy "dude in the john starts asking me all these questions. Like are y'hear for the Kroos situation and shit. I say yeah, isn't everybody? and he asks how I knew about it. Like I'm tellin him shit! Then he's like askin, so y'stayin for what's after this? I ask, what's after this? He says, y'know when everybody gets their chance with Kroos? I say I dunno know. He says, well ain't ya part of the show? Like an idiot I say, yeah yeah I'm in. Just to get outa there y'know?"
"Damn..." Hank looked at the two of them "now he probably thinks you're gonna be on stage with... with whoever y'know..."
"Fuck that!" Hank looks at Billy "we finish up here and we split, got it?"
"Fine okay" Billy was having a hard time hiding his curiousity. Something brought him out here, Hank thought, and probably dragged his bud Stan along, making up some bullshit excuse. Now he was fucked. He wanted to stay to see what all the buzz was about but no way he wanted his bud to get any wrong ideas about this. Too fuckin late for that, Hank told himself. He heard the room quiet down, hoping everyone was chilling again, now that the crisis with the South guys seemed to have blown over. But it was too quiet for that. Then he heard "Kroos" "Kroos" "doc's here" bubbling up from the room. He turned and sure enough, Kroos had walked around the corner. He had taken maybe two steps into the room and stopped dead in his tracks. He looked like he had taken a forty-five right between the eyes!