The Exam

Ernie heard the shouting and splashing as he came to, the wind knocked out of him.

"Ernie! Moose! What's wrong? We're coming!" and Ernie started to look around but Moose was gone! From fifty yards away he could see two shapes galloping through the splashing water. Ernie kept looking around hoping Moose would appear but nothing. As he started to get up to see where the blanket was, Hank came running out of the water,

"Moose! Ernie! Where are you?"

"Hank over here!"

"Ernie?" Hank came over to him, naked and hard "are you okay? Where's Moose?"

"I don't know..." Ernie felt a shiver and started to panic "he's gone."

"Gone?" Jeff came running up beside them "where'd he go?"

"I don't KNOW! We were talkin and he just freaked and bolted-"

"Damnit Olson what happened?" Hank was getting angry and concerned now. Moose was in no mood to be running around in the woods by himself.

"He just took off!"

"Where?"

"I don't know" Ernie looked around "that way?"

"Stay here with him" Hank grabbed the nearest shoes he could reach "I gotta find him" and off he went yelling "Moose! Moose" through the woods.

Jeff crouched down next to Ernie "you okay?" and touched his shoulder.

"Fuck I don't know..."

"Damn!" Jeff felt something warm and sticky on Ernie's shoulder "Ernie you're bleeding!"

Ernie reached up and felt it himself. His shoulder had a cut where he landed but aside from the bruising his shoulder did not feel broken, "I landed on a branch-"

"Landed? What the hell happened?"

"We were just... wrestling around-"

"Wrestling?"

"And all of a sudden Moose freaks and throws me a good ten feet in the air.

When I catch my breath he's gone!"

"Did.." Jeff got real quiet "something happen between you two?"

"Fuck no!" Ernie spat out, and then more bitter and sad "no..."

"Are you hurt?"

"No just scratched up good I think" Ernie got to his feet, feeling where he came down on his side. He was bruised and his shoulder had some blood on it but nothing was broken.

"Let's clean ya up" Jeff said and let him down to the river where they rinsed off the dirt and leaves and the drying blood. They could better see that nothing was torn but his shoulder was going to have a bruise for the next week or two. As they got out of the water and went back to finding their clothes, they heard rustling in the woods,

"Moose?"

"Naw it's me" and Hank's voice got closer until they could see a pale and dirty body approaching.

"Hank what happened? Where's Moose?" from Ernie at the same time as "Hank what HAPPENED to you!" from Jeff.

As he came up to them they could see Hank, naked and covered with leaves and dirt from the waist down, looking like some kind of wildman stumbling into civilization for the first time. They would have been shocked but Hank looked down at himself and started laughing, "Fuck..."

"Look at you!"

"Damn you think this is bad, wait'll ya see Moose!"

"You found him!?!?!"

"Yeah I found him."

"Where?"

"All the way back at the car. He ran the whole way!" Hank was smiling and trying to get as much of the crud off him that he could. They followed him down to the water as he went in, splashing himself clean.

"What happened? What'd I do?" Ernie stood there in his shirt, naked from the waist down.

In the better light Hank looked at him and burst out laughing "Look at you!

No wonder he went running for the hills!"

"Damnit Hank don't fuck with Ernie what happened?"

Hank came out of the water splashing water everywhere "Gimme a towel, then we gotta get all our stuff and head for the car. Moose's waitin!"

They felt around in the dark, finding most of the clothes and then started to find Moose's clothes.

"Ernie don't get all worked up, don't you know what happened?"

"Fuck NO!! already, what?"

"You didn't see it?"

"See what!?"

"Moose said you two were attacked by a ten-foot boa constrictor the way he tells it-"

"WHAT?!"

"He said you two were talkin and the next thing he knows this python is all but swallowing his leg. He said he was half way to Ma*****oc before he realized he wasn't wearing anything..."

They looked at each other and started laughing, "you mean?"

"Yeah a very naked and very pissed, no let's say, very scared and dirty Moose is waiting for us by the car, so we better get the fuck back before another python finds him."

Jeff was feeling around and looking under the blankets, "where the hell's my other shoe?"

Hank looked down at his feet, "sorry" and tossed him his left shoe, wet and mismatched. Jeff grabbed it and saw the condition "very funny..."

"Sorry I wasn't lookin."

"You mean Moose is still back there naked?" Ernie went around picking up as many of Moose's clothes as he could find, throwing them into his towel.

"Well you got most of them" Hank laughed "you better get back there Ernie. We'll be right behind you. You know how to get back to the car?" but Ernie was already gone.

"You think it was a snake?" Jeff said, putting his other shoe on and looking around for any stray clothes.

"I don't know Moose woulda been that freaked by anything else-"

"What about Ernie?"

"What about him?"

"What if somethin was goin on back here between him and Moose-"

"Somethin that would make him bolt naked through the woods?"

"But what if Ernie had made a pass at him or-"

"Then Moose woulda .... hell like I know at this point?"

"You don't think he woulda taken a swing at Ernie do you?"

"Why?"

"Cause he was hurt, bleeding when we got back!"

"What?"

"Yeah, Ernie said he fell on a stick or something but what if Moose attacked him-"

"Shit!" Hank grabbed the last of his things "and Ernie's heading back there now! I better find Moose before he does" and he tore up the path.

Jeff reached into his pocket and luckily found some dry matches - he he didn't want to explain to Hank why he had them right then - and lit them one by one, making sure all loose articles of clothing were accounted for. When he found the last sock and made sure no little fires were left behind him, he started up the path as well, alone and maybe a bit spooked as the darkness and quiet closed in around him. Once or twice he heard rustling behind him but didn't turn around.

Ernie went tearing up the path, glad Moose was intact but a bit scared it was not some bogus snake that sent him running but instead what they had been doing. When he got near the car Moose was not there!

"Moose?" Ernie looked around barely whispering "Moose?"

"Over here..."

Ernie looked over to the side and a naked Moose came out from behind some kind of a fence, trying to hold a branch in front of him. The effect would have been funny but Ernie was not laughing, "you okay?"

"Very funny Olson" Moose started to grab the blanket from Ernie and his clothes fell to the ground "you didn't feel it?"

"Feel what?" Ernie knew or hoped he was talking about something else.

"That goddamn snake!"

"There really WAS a snake?" Ernie helped Moose pick up his clothes and drape them on the car.

"Fuck YEAH there was a snake" Moose rummaged through the piles and found him briefs. He started to step into them.

"Moose stop! You gotta get cleaned up first."

"Fuck I do!" and he stepped into them, leaves and twigs scattering.

"C'mon Moose let me help ya" and Ernie started brushing his shoulders and chest with a wet towel. He actually expected Moose to pull the "snake act" again, but when he didn't he then used his bare hand to clean off as much dirt and grit as he could. Fuck, he thought, maybe there really was a snake. Moose grabbed the wet towel from him and brushed off his legs. As he was stepping into his shorts, Ernie said,

"Moose?"

"What?"

"Sure that's why you took off? It wasn't me?"

"What the fuck you talkin about?"

"You weren't running away from me?"

"Why would I do that punk?"

"Cause... y'know..."

"No I don't know Olson."

"I didn't do anything to get you pissed?"

Moose grabbed him by the shoulders "If you did anything to tick me off you think I couldn't break you in two!"

Ernie felt the two paws dig into his shoulders, secretly wishing Jeff or Hank were here in case Moose started to wail on him.

"But..." Moose came in real close, and Ernie braced himself for the gut punch "you gotta know I never would -"

"Hey!!" came from right behind them "everything okay here?!"

Hank had come running up to them, quietly enough that they didn't hear him it seemed. He saw Moose grabbing Ernie and was ready to intervene if it got ugly.

"Hank where'd you come from?" Moose broke the contact.

"Everything cool here?"

"Fuck yeah why, shouldn't it be?" Moose went back to cleaning his shoulders and back, but it was a hopeless task. Finally he threw his shirt over his head and started to look down for his shoes. Ernie held them out, with his socks, "thanks bud."

"Glad to see we're all still friends here" Hank said a bit apprehensively looking behind him for Jeff.

"We were until Olson punk here threw that rattlesnake at me!"

"There was no goddamn snake..." Ernie was trying not to smile.

"Like HELL there wasn't."

"The only snake" Ernie could not help himself "was the one between your legs!"

Moose let out a bellow and lunged at Ernie, throwing him against the car. Hank yelled and dove at them, knowing he could not pull Moose off him.

Jeff came tearing into the cleaning, seeing the three of them fighting against the car and dove in as well. The two of them were trying to pull Moose off Ernie when Moose said "Olson you are so dead" but then he started laughing. He easily shook Jeff and Hank off him and helped to pull Ernie up. When he saw the panic in Ernie's face and the seriousness in Jeff's and Hank's he laughed again, "What? You don't think I was seriously..."

Ernie was getting his breath back, and started to rub his sore shoulder, feeling the wound start to bleed again. Moose saw the wound and got real upset,

"I'm sorry Olson I didn't mean to do that!" and just like that he grabbed him and gave him the oddest hug. He held Ernie's shoulder gingerly, looking closely "Damn Olson, I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"It's okay Moose you didn't do this" Ernie could not keep up with the constant mood changes coming from Moose "it's okay I ain't hurt!" but he could feel Moose almost shaking in the clasp.

"I didn't mean to grab you so hard, I was just giving you shit about your asshole comment. What happened?" and Moose slowly broke the contact, seeing Jeff starting to intervene.

"It happened before, back at the river."

"What?"

"Yeah when you bolted I landed on a branch or something-"

"Damnit Olson I just freaked, I didn't mean to hurt you, but the snake-"

"There really was a snake?" Ernie felt the night hang in the balance.

"Damn YES!"

"Sure it wasn't-"

"Damnit Olson you musta felt it too! It crawled over my leg and I just freaked!"

"Forreal?"

"YES!! REAL!!"

Suddenly the idea emerged and even Ernie realized he had nothing to do with Moose bolting. Fuck he wasn't even in the picture! Moose really had been terrified. Slowly Ernie got the image of Moose, big fearless hulking Moose, running through the woods scared shitless, naked and lost, not knowing what was after him.

"Oh Moose I'm sorry" Ernie grabbed Moose by the shoulders "I didn't realize. I'm sorry, you musta been so freaked with your fear of snakes I didn 't know it was that bad..."

Jeff and Hank gave each other a look and started to get into the car. Moose slowly broke the hold "damnit Olson yer bleedin all over me."

"Sorry" and tried to clean it up but there was only a drop or two on him "let's get outa here."

"I'm right with ya bud" and they jumped in "let's get the hell away from here."

They drove for several minutes in silence before Hank said,

"Moose you might want to clean that up before you go home."

Moose looked down and then at the other three.

"Motherfucker" he muttered "it looks like I been through a warzone."

Ernie looked over at him and then realized they were pulling onto his block.

"You could clean up at my place..."

"Yeah I'll do that - no!"

"No what?" Ernie was not dealing with the seesaw from Moose.

"I better not. Remember it's the Moose we're taken about here. You don't want the town freak to walk in with you now, do you?"

"Moose c'mon..." but Ernie looked at his house, dark and asleep and then at the clock on the dashboard. It was late and his parents might get weird.

"Moose is right" Hanks said "we'll make sure he gets home okay."

"You sure?" Ernie was exhausted and yet did not want to leave Moose getting into his funk mode again.

"I'll be fine Olson" from Moose "get your skinny ass in there before the rents have the cops on us."

"Guess so...nite" and he got out the car as quiet as he could. He ran up to the house not looking back. But he went around to the back to the kitchen hoping to get some of the redness out of his cheeks. It took five minutes before he could open the door.

"Moose why don't you come over to my place for a bit" Hank said driving off.

"I thought you were just saying that for Olson?" a hint of suspicion creaping into his voice.

"We gotta get you cleaned up. You can't be walking in like that."

"Guess you're right" Moose said "I'm a fuckin mess"

"But you gotta admit" Jeff said turning around "you do look kinda sexy like that-"

"Sexy? I'll show you what's sexy dickhead" Moose took a swing at him but it was a fake punch and Jeff started laughing.

"But not everyone's gotta share our idea of sexy" Hank said.

"You mean like the sight of you limping outa the woods butt naked with two different shoes on?" Moose was gonna get Hank back "that your idea of sexy?"

"Funny Moose" Hank said "but I didn't have time to get dressed proper. When Ernie told us you took off into the woods we didn't know if you were okay."

"Sorry I musta scared the shit outa him as much as that snake."

"He was real upset" Jeff said " and when I saw him bleeding I didn't know what happened between you two-"

"Nothing happened between us!" Moose cut in too fast "it's not like we were..."

"What?"

"Like we were..." Moose knew he had a slight advantage "like we were the ones in the river playing hide-the-wienie."

Hank slowly turned around,

"You wanna explain that real carefully?"

"No really you two. You guys gotta cool it or everyone will figure it out."

"Figure what out?

"C'mon you two..."

"It's that obvious?"

"Well" Moose said looking out the window "it is if...if you know what you're looking at."

"So what happens now?" Hank said "is there gonna be a problem between us-"

"Fuck if I know" Moose would not look at them "it's not like I ain't-"

"Ain't what?"

"You want me to get a copy of the doc's tape and fuckin explain it to you two jerkwads..."Moose trailed off seeing they were now at Hank's place.

"C'mon in but watch the language Moose."

The three went in to the kitchen, but the downstairs was dark. They heard a "Hank that you?" from upstairs.

"Yeah it's me dad. Some friends are picking up some junk from the basement.

I'll be up to bed in a second. Good night!" he yelled hoping they'd get the hint.

"Is Jeff down there with you?"

"Yeah Mr. Jenkins. Sorry we woke you we'll be gone as soon as I borrow Hank's glove."

"Well it's late."

"Sorry we'll be outa here real fast. Good night."

"Good night Jeff."

They heard his dad go back up the stairs and the bedroom door close.

"Man that was close" Jeff said and they practically tiptoed into the basement. Once downstairs they could talk normally.

"Your parents cool about... Jeff?" Moose said looking at them.

Jeff answered "they don't suspect I don't think. They just see us as friends for cripsesake. It's not like I sleep over here all the time."

"You sleep over?" Moose sounded like the idea was right up there with having two noses.

Hank said "Sometimes I can talk Jeff into staying over but it's pretty rare" and he gave Jeff a steady and long look.

"Damn I never even thought guys did that."

"Well enough jawing" Hank said "gimme those clothes."

Moose looked down at himself and then at the other two. He hesitated.

"For crissakes Moose, it's just us. No different than changing in a locker room Geez!"

"Yeah but it's different now" Moose said looking at himself "it feels weird now."

"Cause of us?"

"No, cause of me" Moose said. "I'm seeing... everything... different."

"You're the same old dickhead you always were" Hank said "just slower!"

"Oh all right" and Moose pulled off his shirt and stepped out of the pants.

Underneath he was wearing Jeff's briefs, inside out.

"That's where they went" Jeff said laughing.

Hank took the pants, emptied the pockets and started to rinse them in the sink.

"Hey wait I gotta wear those" Moose protested.

"It's okay I gotta trick for dryin them fast" Hank said, ringing them out and then rinsing the shirt.

"Just put'm in the dryer" Moose said trying to cover himself.

"Can't do that boss" Hank said and put them on the ironing board "wake the rents" and he thumbed upstairs.

"So what? I can't wear them wet. That'd look worse!"

"Don't have to" Hank said, plugging in the iron and started to press them. Very soon steam started coming from the pants as they started to lighten and dry.

"Damn that might work" Moose was amazed.

"Don't you ever have to dry something off fast?" Hank said like this was not brain surgery.

"I guess I never hadta worry about how bad I looked before."

"What about when you and Cindy?"

"What about it?"

"Didn't you ever.. y'know, mess yer jeans when you were with her?"

"Fuck no!" Moose bellowed.

"Not so loud" Jeff said "they don't want to hear that stuff."

"Sorry..." Moose said hypnotized by the rapidly drying pants "that really works huh?"

"So you never had to... y'know, cover your tracks when you came home some times?" Jeff pressed.

"We didn't do... stuff."

"You mean you never did anything with her, like outdoors or?" Jeff started to get the picture.

"I'd be dead if anything happened with her" Moose muttered "you know her parents."

"So you never.."Jeff was amazed "anything?"

"I felt her up through her bra once or twice and that was it."

"Okay I get the picture" and Hank started to work on the shirt.

"You think I could get my shorts back sometime?" Jeff asked.

"Crissakes you two" Moose said "can't I get them back another time."

"You want your mom finding strange underwear in the wash?"

"Damn" Moose saw the point.

"Another GUY'S underwear?"

"Damn, okay okay" Moose saw the whole unpleasant scene play out. He could never explain it and his parents would jump to the wrong conclusion - the right conclusion -- is a second.

"Okay where's the shower?" Moose said and without thinking yanked the incriminating shorts off him. He stood naked and filthy in front of them.

"Jeff you want to show our guest the luxury suite?" and Jeff indicated the drain in the floor and took the hose from the sink adjusting the temp to a nice warmth. He tried not to look at Moose when he gave it to him, trying to prevent himself from starting to bone up seeing how Moose looked under the bare bulb. Hank saw Jeff's condition and then he too started to fight tenting out.

"Let me find something" Hank turned away and dug through the wash "perfect!" he said and pulled out their school logo running shorts and set them aside with Moose's other clothes.

Moose started to rinse off his feet and his legs, amazed at the amount of filth he tracked back. Man, it looked like half the woods was running off him. He glanced over to Jeff and then to Hank as he started to rinse his crotch,

"C'mon you two you seen this all already" but he could tell they were fighting with not letting their rods show.

"Sorry Moose, but you gotta admit it's not something you see every day."

"Geez, only a pervo would think this is hot" Moose watched the grime sheet off him, and it looked like his crotch was shaved all over again, as the dirt covering his pubes just slid away. He had to admit it was a strange sight.

"No one here but a couple of pervos then" from Hank who gave up trying to hide his condition. His shorts had a distinct tube showing down the front.

Moose finished quickly, not sure if he didn't feel himself start to plump a bit. These were his buds watching him take a shower, and he knew they were getting off on it. But he was not gonna admit he was getting off on it too.

He turned off the water and looked around for a towel. Jeff tossed him one from a pile near the dryer. He dried off, thinking the room had gotten real quiet, so he said, "now where are those shorts?"

"You mean 'your' school shorts?" Hank tossed it to him.

"Yeah that's defintely mine. They can't tell one from another" and he started to tug them up. When they got to his thighs they stretched like crazy, and there was even a bit of a ripping sound, but it worked.

"I'll say they shruck in the dryer" Moose said. But as they tightened over his crotch, he could fell something else was not shrinking.

"Don't say it you two" Moose said as he started to harden in front of them.

"Moose sometimes it's just contagious" Hank said looking over at Jeff. All three were now openly hard.

"You know I'd really like to help you with that" Hank gave it a tug.

"We both would Moose" Jeff said "but well let's say it might not be the wisest thing if-"

"Jeff's right" Hank said giving him his pants "again. Put these on and don't tempt us any more. You know what a stud you are."

"Was.."

"Still are. Just ask Er-I mean anyone. Hell some people would crawl through glass for you."

"What's with you two?" Moose said pulling his pants on, and over his swollen crotch. He was showing rod but otherwise presentable.

"We're your buds-"

"Shit, were my buds-"

"Language Moose" Hank said thumbing up again.

"Sorry let's get outa here. I need some air" he said pointing down at himself.

"We all do" Hank tossed him the rest of his clothes, turned off the lights and they tiptoed upstairs. If you could call what Moose tried tiptoeing.

Once outside the cool air helped their recovery a bit and they were able to speak normally.

"Okay now you're ready to go home" Hank said as they walked back to his car.

Again they piled in and headed for Moose's place. Nobody said much until they pulled up.

"Thanks you guys" Moose said once he was out of the car.

"So you glad we were able to talk you out?" Jeff said.

"Yeah.."Moose said and then more quietly "and then some."

"Well we gotta go we'll call you tomorrow?"

"If you want" Moose said and just when they were about to leave "can I ask you somethin?"

"Sure but make it quick" Hank said over Jeff "we're out past our limit."

"No now now" and Moose hunched down next to the car so he was eye to eye with them "I gotta talk with you two, I got a lotta shit to figure out and it seems you two are cool about... y'know..."

"Whenever ya want big guy" Jeff said and punched him in the shoulder.

"Cool. Well see ya" and Moose headed in.

They drove off and after several block Jeff said "Well Hank looks like things are getting complicated now."

"You?" Hank didn't want to turn thinking he might see a different Jeff.

"Hell no... well yeah."

"How so?" Jeff said and pulled over, thinking he better brace himself for bad news.

"Well seeing the shit that Ernie is going through and Moose is wobbling on the edge-"

"You sayin' you getting second thoughts about this?"

Jeff took a long time to answer. Hank gripped the wheel, looking straight ahead.

"What I'm tryin to say.. shit Hank, watching those two... well it couldn'ta been more obvious how lucky we... Fuck how lucky I am..."

"This is not what I thought I was gonna hear" Hank said turning to look at Jeff.

"What you thought I was gonna say, this stuff's too weird and if it messes them up so much then I want out."

"Well..."Hank looked back to the street "yeah..."

"Goddamn Hank could it be more obvious... I'd havta been a complete asshole not to realize how lucky I am. I told Ernie and I'm tellin you. Right now.

I don't know what I did to deserve a good friend like you-"

"Shuttup Jeff don't say it-"

"No I'm fuckin serious here Hank. You're a better friend than I deserve. You could be messin around with just about anyone you wanted. Hell you coulda gotten Moose tonight-"

"I don't want Moose-"

"Shit of course you do! Everyone does. Or did. Or still does. Shit I can't figure this out-"

"Then just let it go. I know what you're tryin to say just don't embarrass us both-"

"No I gotta say it. You are a super guy. Why you like me I'll never figure out-"

"Cause you're hot and my bud and I l-"

"Hank I'm talkin here so shut the fuck up!" Jeff said but Hank could see the smile under the street light.

"I'm just sayin that what you did to help Moose out that day, and the whole stinkin team for that matter even if they're too braindead to see it, and now tonite-"

"C'mon pal you tryin to make me feel like I 'm a big hero cause I ain't."

"Tonight you coulda just spent the night with me and... y'know stuff like we didn't get to do back at the river."

"You sayin you glad we didn't mess around?"

"If you don't shut up I'm gonna take back everything I said so put a cork in it okay?" still smiling.

"Jeesh..."

"But instead of just thinking about us - which woulda been just fine in my books. Hell better than fine but then I got a one track mind - no don't interrupt - instead you spend your Saturday, shit our Saturday to help out not one, but two of our friends who really were hurting. And you knew that if you just got them talkin, and maybe even stearing things just a bit-"

"I didn't stear-"

"You steared and you know it. You told Ernie how to act around the big guy so he wouldn't make things worse. And how to get both of them outa their funk and even get them to feel comfortable enough with each other they could start giving each other shit like normal-"

"That wasn't me. Ernie did that."

"With your help."

"Well just in the beginning."

"When it mattered. Shit you dog, it was almost like you knew what was going to happen" and Jeff gave him a wicked look "except for the snake..."

"You really think there was one?"

"I ain't ever known Moose to lose it like that!"

"Jeff you didn't see him before, when I found him. I didn't want to say anything in front of Ernie but he was crying and almost didn't even recognize me."

"Damn."

"And Ernie had been handling Moose so well all night and then THAT happened, and it's getting obvious how Ernie feels about Moose..."

"And maybe how Moose feels about Ernie."

"Okay I'm getting you home you're delirious!"

"Damn you know!"

"I didn't know. Shit I don't know anything about Moose. All I know is that he's been sitting around at home and this whole thing has been just eating away at him and maybe if he just gets a chance to get out of the house and be with some buds who wouldn't give him any shit, and well maybe boost him up a bit. How Ernie was going to play into that was the wild card. Remember Billy was supposed to be here tonight not Ernie. But when Ernie kept pestering me all week, shit you don't gotta be a einstein to figure out Ernie was.. well he developing feelings for Moose as I am...about you. But that should be no big news to you."

"Ernie told me."

"Told you what Jeff."

"He could tell. I guess it's kinda obvious if you are watching us."

"Are we that obvious?"

"Well two guys who get along and don't fight and are always doing stuff together and who... well we actually look at each other when we are talking to each other" Jeff said looking out the window and then back to Hank starting to laugh.

"Yeah I get the picture."

"Well so did Ernie, and I guess now so does Moose."

"You mad at me?"

"Fuck no" Jeff said looking back out the window "but it's time you know that well... it's not just how you feel about me."

"C'mon Jeff don't say anything stupid."

"Me too bud" Jeff said "it's how I feel about you. I'm just not so smooth at being able to show it... and say it. But now you know okay?"

"Shit" Hank said starting the engine and heading down the street "I guess we're supposed to kiss and make out now but..."

"Yeah you got it."

"If Ernie thinks it's so obvious then we can't be seen making out right here on the street like this."

"So we gotta cool it is what I'm thinkin. Cause I don't wanna get you in any more shit than we are already. So I been thinkin--"

"Whoa... dangerous habit y'got there. Lemme put on my headgear before I hurt--"

"You askin for it."

"No shit."

"I'm thinkin... maybe we better -- I better call Monica back. She's been tryin to talk t'me since I blew off the picnic on Saturday--"

"Why didn't -- oh yeah..." Hank rolled his eyes "picnic or sex show at the docs. Big choice."

"So I'm thinkin Monica and me are gonna be spending some time together... again. And you and Rachel--"

"That nympho?"

"No, that gossip" Jeff looked hard at Hank "if y'get my meaning. You and Rachel, me and Monica. One big happy -- and normal looking -- foursome. You get the picture, stud?" he reached over and grabbed his leg.

"Damn" Hank said very happy and very worried at the same time.

They drove until they got to Jeff's house. The lights were out. Jeff saw it as a bad sign.

"Shit they're in bed already. Means I'm really late-"

"It's my fault I'll talk to them."

"No that's what I mean. You can't keep saving my butt. It'll start to look suspicious."

"Then what?"

"I'll smooth things over" Jeff said starting to open the door but stopping before the light came on "just remember that even though I might not be always around you or y'know... just remember what I said before. Hank you are the best thing that's happened to me since... well since ever. So I won't say it and you don't gotta say it but" and he looked around and quickly kissed him. And then he ran to the door and into the house.

Hank drove home in a bit of a daze and maybe a bit tired. But damn what a night he had. And damn if he wasn't going to go home and jack himself to sleep with Jeff's kiss still bouncing around his brain.