Hey! I just wanted to thank all those people who sent me encouraging email for the last chapter. You guys made me ecstatic. Thanks Shawn for all that info. And to Nike, since you so adamantly wanted a sweet, less gut-wrenching chapter than the last. I can't promise you anything. Just read. And Dara-you're the sweetest. You kept my desire to write alive. And Elly and Derek--I'm really grateful for your kind words.
Disclaimer: Once again, I don't know the BSB. The following is purely a work of fiction and in no way represents the BSB's beliefs. All under 18 are advised to not continue reading.
Brian and his brothers watched with anxiety as their very own father hunted down the one person they thought they had hated the most in this world. Brian could not believe what had happened in the past few minutes. He was shocked by his father's sudden bout of cruelty towards Nickolas, a mere boy.
Brian had fought for the boy's life. For what reason, he himself did not understand. All he knew was that his father was giving the death sentence to someone he had used for love. And that made Brian nauseous. Even though he disliked the boy from the start, not due to any fault of the boy, he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.
So Brian stared helplessly along with his brothers and their family friends, awaiting Nick's cruel fate. How Brian wanted desperately to grab a horse himself and run after the two. He looked at his other brothers, and to his relief, he saw the exact same sentiment. But why did none of them budge from their position?
Perhaps it was fascination. Brian looked out at the hunting grounds, and to his surprise, the father hadn't caught up with Nickolas at all. Brian had to hold his breath to make sure that he wasn't seeing things, but Nickolas was cleverly dodging his father's advances. His father had used up three arrows already, and none of them had struck the boy yet!
Brian had to squint and push aside his curiosity. Nickolas' glowing blond hair seemed an easy target enough. But it was also the hair that made him startlingly attractive, Brian hated to admit. And perhaps that was why their father had such a difficult time aiming at the boy. Every time he tried, he would falter. And Nickolas' was quick on his feet. The boy was surprisingly very clever. Every movement he made was quick, accurate and mind-boggling. Brian was starting to wonder how their father had come to acquire someone so stunning and rather quick-witted. He was ashamed to admit it, but Brian was starting to feel that maybe his father did not deserve the boy. True, the boy was a peasant, but . . . Brian stared at the sharp features. Nickolas was ten times as beautiful as the last boy . . . and his family thought that the last boy was stunning enough.
It was an unverbalized consensus amongst him and his brothers. Nickolas could not have been real. Every afternoon, when the boy would bring their writing utensils to their room, each would try to sneak a look at him while he was not looking. None could refute the fact that the boy was ravishing. That was why they held their tongues. Even their mother, after that initial scolding of the boy never bothered once again say anything to him.
But they all repressed their anger. And even though they didn't show it in front of the boy, they withheld all love or affection from him. Brian's brothers and maybe he himself had been a tad envious of the love that their father was pouring out to the boy. And Brian suspected that maybe one of the reasons why the father had put Nickolas on the spot and hunt him down was because he wanted to prove that he could resist Nickolas' charms. He wanted to prove to his family that he was not bewitched. But as Brian stared at the hunting grounds, he started to realize that his father had been bewitched since the first day Nick was brought back to the castle.
Brian sighed in relief. Nickolas would live today. Even if their father tried his hardest to shoot into the boy's heart, the boy was so clever on his hands and feet that Brian doubted his father would be able to hurt the boy in any way.
Perhaps Brian spoke too soon. He suddenly focused on Nickolas again and realized that the boy was slowing down and raising his arms to his head. Brian opened his eyes wider to see what was going on. He jerked back, startled when he realized that the boy was fainting. Was it due to shear exhaustion? The blond boy started to slow down and brought his hand up to his forehead before falling listlessly on the grass. And there, his father stood on his horse, last arrow pulled back and ready to strike its target. Immediately, Brian grabbed a horse nearby and headed straight for his father and Nickolas. He didn't know what he was going to do, only that he had to be there! He could hear as his brothers also grabbed the reigns of the nearest horses.
The master stood poised on his horse, staring down at the boy he had loved and made love to for so many days now. The boy's form laid limply on the grass, his chest rising and falling rapidly, gasping for air, but his mind too tired to register his needs.
"Why couldn't you be less lovable?" the master looked sadly at the form of his slave. "Why did you have to be so silent, take everything that was given to you? Why didn't you fight back at any of the other servants? Are you not angry at the way anyone treats you? Do you not have a single bit of hatred in you?"
Nick breathed hard. He could hear his master's voice, but could not decipher what he said as he was gasping for air. He was dizzy. He couldn't support himself anymore. He weekly grabbed a stash of grass and tried to move, but as expected, his muscles were no longer obeying his will. He couldn't see. He was too tired. "Master!" He tried to utter.
The master's head snapped at him, as if repulsed by Nick's voice. "Don't you dare try to soften me! You know full well you're trying to control my every emotion! You try to invade my mind. Why? What's your ulterior motive? You make me think of you day and night! What is it that you want from me? You want power, is that what you want? You want to bewitch me and try to steal power and money away from me?"
Nick could only hear parts of his master's little speech, but he could decipher enough to realize that his master was going crazy. "No. No. Please. I don't want anything anymore. Master, I only wanted you to love me."
The master felt angrier by the minute. "Love you for what? Your beauty? Your seductiveness? Your body? What is there to love?"
Nick felt the words stinging by the minute. He held his tongue. He really didn't know why he was arguing. Why did he want his master to love him anyways? Because he had never been loved? Was that the reason?
Nick quieted down and shut his eyes tight, signaling for his master to get over with it. Why did he want to fight for his life anyways? Why did he yearn for the little bit of love that his master could probably not provide for him? "There is nothing in me to love." His parents had told him that once. Perhaps it was all true. What was there to love about him? "Go ahead." Nick whispered, hoping that death would come swiftly. He thought he heard someone's voice in the background screaming, but he could not tell if it was his hallucination.
And then, as he expected, he felt the sharp impact, throwing his body backwards, sending him reeling back in pain. He had never felt so much pain in his entire life. He didn't know where the arrow had hit him, but he wanted to cry so bad. Trouble was, it hurt more when he tried to make a sound. He clutched his body and felt the body of the arrow right on his chest, and that was when he realized that his master had aimed for his heart. He felt the tears of pain and hurt streaking down his cheeks. He was embarrassed to die like this. Surely he could hear the horses circling him, probably finding the spectacle of his death amusing.
He couldn't understand what was so amusing about him suffering before he died. But he wasn't dying yet! He felt the blood seep out of his body, but he wasn't losing consciousness at all. The pain was exponentially increasing. He waved his arms frantically around, trying to find that arrow so that he could push it deeper into his body, hastening his death. But he had become weak. His hands were trembling like mad. And to top it all off, everyone was probably staring at his wrenching body.
That was when he felt warm hands cover his colder ones. His eyes fluttered for a moment to register a pair of warm blue eyes on his. He would recognize those eyes of Brian's anywhere. Perhaps it was time to surrender, to let death carry about its own business. Struggling would not help him at this moment. So Nick stopped kicking and flailing his arms. He closed his eyes, to keep that image of Brian in his head. At least if he died, he would bring away one good memory.
He closed his eyes and smiled. Yes, think of it as a bad dream. He would soon wake up from this night horror. He would soon be in a different world! At least he had an image to hold onto that was pleasing. "It's finally over! Am I not useful now, master?" Nick whispered in relief. He let his body go limp and slowly and patiently waited to die.
Brian started to panic as he saw Nick's form go limp in his arms. "No, it's not over yet!" Brian screamed. He couldn't believe it! Nick had collapsed and his father showed him no mercy! The boy was helpless and unarmed. What was his father thinking? "No, you've always been useful. Dying on us now is the most worthless thing you could do. I command you to wake up now!" Brian was in a frenzy. His brothers quickly hovered around Nick's body as they each helped Brian seal the wound and apply some analgesics to the boy's body.
But as Brian and his brothers tended to Nick's wound, they could all feel his body becoming cooler to the touch. "No, Nick. You're going to be safe with us. We're going to get you a nice warm bed! How does that sound?" Brian asked, hoping to elicit a response from the boy. He knew Nickolas was still conscious. The boy was angry at them. He didn't want to talk! That was it. Nick was upset that they ignored him, right?
As Brian and his brothers quickly applied the medication and applied pressure to the wound, Brian couldn't help but notice that his father was poised on his horse and extremely quiet. He quickly glanced at him, hoping for some support, but to his shock, tears started to form in his father's eyes. "Father! You can change all of this! He needs your help. He needs your love!" Brian cried out in a desperate attempt to elicit some sympathy from his father.
The merchant looked at his son. "I . . . can't." With that, the merchant rode his horse away from the castle.
Brian quickly focused back on Nick. His brothers had helped a lot, and for that, he was grateful. Before long, they stabilized the boy and brought him back to the castle. The problem was that none of the servants were willing to help. They were afraid to go against the merchant's wishes. So Brian found that he and his brothers were working with little aid. He refused to let any of his brothers replace him, though. He wanted to be by Nick's side all night long.
Finally, his brothers gave up on him and let him alone with Nick in the guest chambers. Brian quickly dampened a small towel and began to wipe the sweat off Nick's youthful face. He trembled slightly. This was the first time that he had been so close to the boy. Literally, their arms were touching! He had seen the boy from afar, but never had he been so close. It was almost intimate, even. The boy shuddered every time Brian touched him, even if it were to just wipe off the sweat.
"I know you're awake!" Brian finally said quietly. "You don't have to pretend. You're good at hiding your pain, but mind you, you can't fool anybody."
Silence.
Brian sighed. "You can't give us all this silent treatment. You have to tell us where it hurts so we can help you."
Silence.
"Father didn't really mean it. He was just upset!" Brian continued. "We all want you alive."
A single teardrop trickled down the side of Nick's face.
Brian leaned in closer. The boy was shivering by now. But no matter how pale he looked, his face was simply exquisite. "I want you to live."
Just then, he saw Nick's lips move. "Please, no more lies. Let me go."
Brian felt the coldness in those words, the coldness of a boy who had lost all hope. "There are no lies to be told, only the truth."
Nick's eyes remained closed, as if he didn't want to look at Brian's honest eyes. "Thank you for the thought, though."
Brian raised his voice. "That was not a thought! Nickolas . . . " Brian placed one hand over the boy's cheeks. He too shuddered himself at the touch. He had never had so much physical contact with Nick before. He was afraid to because Nick had belonged to his father and every touch that his father and Nick shared was always bordering on lust and sexual overtones.
Hearing his name made Nick shudder once more. And the warmth of the hand . . . he didn't want to linger on Brian's touch. Pity was the last thing he wanted. What good did pity do to someone on their deathbed. He tried to roll his head to the other side, to hopefully keep Brian's hands away from his cheeks.
Nick felt cold all over. Why did death take so long? The pain was now incapacitating.
Brian heard Nick's quiet moan and felt his heart rate rise from nervousness. In his heart, he knew that Nick would not die. For some unknown reason, he could feel the warmth and life within the boy. He quickly grabbed a dry towel and gently dabbed Nick's forehead. That was when he noticed another presence in the room. Brian quickly darted his eyes and stared in surprise. "Father?"
The master gazed at Brian's body hovered over his lover's figure. There was no hint of anger, just quiet envy. "My son, I came to tend to Nickolas' wounds."
Brian remained silent, trying to absorb what his father just said.
The master continued. "I . . . It was a mistake. You were right. I shouldn't have hurt him like that. I was so helpless today. And then you voiced my innermost thoughts to everyone. I could not help it. I was ashamed. I did not want my family and friends to see my weak side. I did not want all the servants to know how Nickolas had stole my soul and stripped me of my strengths. Brian? You understand, right? My son, please don't second guess my love for the boy. I love him too much. I . . . "
Brian stared awkwardly at his father, all the while his hands drying the sweat off Nickolas' face. It seemed that for a while, Brian was staring blankly at the walls. "You love him?" Although he phrased it as a question, Brian realized that there was a sense of disappointment in his tone. But why would he be disappointed that his father loved Nickolas?
His father slowly approached him with a heavy heart. Finally, father and son sat on the bed and looked at each other as if finally understanding each other for the first time. The merchant looked at Brian with a slight smile. "Yes. And when you defended Nickolas so bravely today, I finally came to the realization that I have fallen in love with the boy. And I was so wretched for not admitting that to the world. But you brought the light back into my mind, son. You had made me confront the truth."
Brian felt a lump form in his throat. His arm now rested on Nickolas' shoulder. He didn't know whether he should be laughing or crying.
"May I?" the merchant asked as he stretched out his hand, beckoning for the towel to dry Nick's sweat off.
With repressed reluctance, Brian slowly placed the towel into his father's hands and stood up from the bed. He quickly disappeared behind the door, the tears starting to stream down his face. Why was it so hard to pass that towel on to his father? He tried to gather himselt together and walked back to his room. He never noticed that as he walked away from Nickolas the sly smile on his father's face.
The merchant looked down at Nick's semi-conscious body. "I told you, Nickolas, that I loved you. That was not entirely false. I love your body. How could I possibly go crazy and try to take it away today? I'm not done with you yet! But it was good to shut my family up. Now no one will every question your role in this family. You are to remain my love object from now on." He started to dab away the sweat from Nick's forehead, just as Brian had done, but his movements were rougher, more impatient, less affectionate. Finally, the merchant flung the towel aside and walked out of the room, giving the boy his rest. That was right. The boy was tired, and he hadn't rested in a long time. a horse needed to rest after a long run. Nickolas was no different.
Nick healed quickly. Within days, he was able to walk on his own for short distances. None of the servants dared ask him to do any menial work. The merchant's wife even remained out of Nick's way. As for the sons, they had treated Nick with more affection after the incident with their father. And the merchant had barely touched the boy.
Nickolas was confused and disoriented. He remembered all that had happened, but he was flustered by how passive the family was towards him. Brian was rather odd, too. He was always there in the morning and at night to urge Nickolas to eat and to tend to his wounds. Yet . . . he would never utter more than a single sentence to Nickolas. Nick did not question that though. He was too grateful for Brian's kindness to question anything that the older boy did for him.
Finally, after a few more days, Nick fully recovered and began to do his chores again. Surprisingly, the servants no longer asked Nick to do the menial work. His only job was to follow his master's sons around and provide for them during the day. Nickolas was grateful as the sons were kinder to him than the rest of the household. And plus, he had the chance to see Brian all day long.
He would follow the master's sons to their banquets, their classes and their outings. Nick was awestruck with his new responsibilities. The sons would even talk to him at times and teach him a thing or two about all the different etiquette required of nobles.
About one week after Nick's injury, the sons allowed him to go horseback riding with them. The found a wonderful place full of lush green hills next to the blue waters. Nick had never witnessed anything so spectacular, so carefree. The winds were light and sedating at the same time. The problem was, Nick did not know how to ride a horse. He offered to stay back at the stalls, but the sons would have none of it.
"Nonsense," said one of them. "You are our servant. You should give us something to be proud of."
"But what if he falls? Dad would murder us!" said another son.
Nick looked nervously at the sons, especially at Brian, inwardly pleading for their mercy and let him stay at the stalls. He caught Brian's eyes and to his horror, Brian had a twinkle in his eyes, one that Nick had never seen before.
"I say I teach Nickolas how to go horseback riding!" Brian suddenly blurted. "He can share a horse with me since it is his first time."
The other sons found the idea rather good. Before Nick had the chance to voice his fears, the other three sons kicked their horses into action, leaving Nickolas and Brian left.
Brian gazed at Nick with an expression of confidence. He quickly got up on his horse and extended his hand. Nickolas stared at it for about a minute before he reached out for Brian's hand.
Brian immediately felt the rush when Nick's fingers lightly held onto his. He knew that he shouldn't have offered, but he couldn't help it. He had suppressed his desires for the past week. A little play would not hurt, would it? Finally, Nickolas sat on the horse behind him, but the boy did not know what to do with his hands. Brian grabbed them from behind and pulled him up around his sides. "Keep your arms around my waist. That way, you cannot fall," he whispered, shuddering as Nickolas secured his hands in front of his belly uncertainly.
Brian could feel Nick's chest brush against his back. It was the most exotic feeling he ever had in his life, and coupled with the cool breezes, he felt as if he were in heaven. With a little kick, the horse started to gallop across the green grass. Brian could see the waters from the side. They were beautiful. He smiled slyly as he kicked the horse and made it gallop even faster, forcing Nickolas to tighten his grasp around Brian's body. Brian quickly turned around to look at the expression on Nickolas' face, only to smile amusedly as Nickolas' eyes were shut tight from fear and his face nuzzled safely into Brian's back. How could someone who had so bravely fought for his life last week now become a little lamb, hanging onto him for dear life.
Let his father own the boy at night. During the day time, Nickolas would be Brian's to spend time with. Brian could not have felt better as they rode into the sunset behind his brothers. All four horses eased into a nice, easy gallop as they let the winds sift through their hair and blow away all their fears and sorrows. No words needed to be exchanged between the brothers and Nickolas. There was only themselves, the sunset and a a pleasant happiness. For the first time in quite a long time, they could simply be wild and carefree. Their hatred had disappeared behind their newfound happiness. And no one felt more happy than Brian.