The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in a location where it is not allowed, please depart. Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex.
The author retains all rights. EvanBradley33@Yahoo.com
Chapter 11 Tonio's Hang-up Tonio
Tonio's meandering gait down the sidewalk announced that he wasn't eager to visit his parents' home. He'd parked way down the street because all the cars belonging to his relatives filled both sides of the street in his parents' block. The neighbors were used to full curbs when the Ortiz clan gathered. He sighed loudly. Hal and Drew were attending a Renegades game. That's where he wanted to be. The crew was really his family. Oh, he loved his parents and his sisters - not his brother though. However, each Ortiz, in his or her own way, were the ones who screwed him up, the ones who expected the macho, bad-ass, Latino Ortiz routine that had been enforced on him all his life. But his older brother had taught him the darker side of that routine. Instead of making him feel more a man, the Ortiz script made him feel guiltier. Why? He wanted and needed men, not a macho routine with women.
When Hal Winston had slammed him the first time, he knew he'd found Paradise. Yah, he'd been with boys before, but he wanted a man who'd fight him, win him, claim him, subjugate him. He assumed that if it happened that way, he wouldn't have to feel guilty - he didn't choose a man fucking him; it was forced on him. Hal's big thick cock, his consideration and concern, his sawing into Tonio's chute, his aggressive words of love, his gentle loving after they had shot their loads left Tonio feeling like a million dollars. So different from Felix and Rodney. At first, Tonio had thrown himself into the relationship with Hal, heady from the initial stages of puppy love. Hal and he were horny all the time. If Hal ever found him in the corner of a house they were building, he'd mash a hot kiss on his mouth. Then he'd start tonguing him, rubbing his cock with one hand and massaging his ass with the other. Tonio was so turned on it was hard to breathe. Or Tonio would push Hal into an unfinished closet, unzip his jeans, pull out that beautiful piece of meat, and start sucking until he feasted on Hal's load.
Then the guilt trip would kick in. It was that damned Felix and Rodney's fault. He shook the memories from his head. It was one of the reasons he stayed away from family gatherings - the Ortiz clan gathered at someone's home every Sunday. He missed as many as possible until a family wedding, funeral, or baptism occurred. No Ortiz was ever allowed to miss those. Or until his mother delivered an ultimatum as she had on this occasion.
A smile brightened Tonio's face, remembering the early days with Hal. Max had pushed them together. When Tonio felt himself really falling in love with Hal, desperation and fear had driven him to sex with that homely-handsome brute, Max. This was before Kenji, of course. Max was reluctant because he knew Tonio and Hal had been involved. Tonio was sorry that it had hurt Hal; he'd never wanted to do that. But Tonio was too afraid to fall completely for Hal - he couldn't change his life that much. If he fell completely in love with Hal, he wouldn't be able to keep him hidden forever from the Ortiz family, and if they were too deeply involved with each other, he'd never be able to pull back.
Tonio knew Max would not fall in love with him, but Max's acceptance and lust let Tonio know he counted for something. He hadn't been invited to a three-way with Max and Kenji yet; however, he was hinting broadly for it. Three-ways were safe. They occurred intermittently. No way he could fall into a relationship if he was with two guys who were already a couple. It made him feel as though the three men were brothers. He also wanted to get into a three-way with Hal and his little piece, Drew. Dew was so well put together, so in control of himself, so professional in poise, dress, and demeanor that one wanted to "mess him up," set him trembling. He knew that was one of the urges that had turned Hal onto Drew. Drew was a "suit." Ted and Levi were another of Tonio's three-ways - athletic sex! Ted always wanted Levi to take Tonio first so he could soak his cock in Levi's cum. While Ted was fucking Tonio, Levi was goading them both on to monster orgasms, rubbing, licking, sucking, nibbling both of them, or sliding his rod into Tonio's mouth or sometimes Ted's ass.
Jamal was another hot partner. Curiously, Jamal turned off his usual Super Black Stud shtick when he was having sex with Tonio. It was sweet, gentle, tender. After a night with Jamal, Tonio felt that some special healing had occurred inside his spirit. Jamal and he grooved on each other. It wasn't love, but it was special enough that they didn't bruit it about much among the other guys or let them see how often they got together.
Jamal was so hot! He was tall and heading toward beefy. His hair was so short as to be almost nonexistent. His smooth skin was a dark caramel. His forehead was broad. Dark brows spread up and out at the outer edges of his intense black eyes. The bridge of his nose was narrow, broadening out around the tip. His lips were full. His square jaw and chin were made slightly darker by a five o'clock shadow. With prominent veins in his forearms, he had no hair on his chest or legs. His pecs were sculpted, and he sported six-pack abs and a prominent ass. A short, thick pubic bush surrounded his black tube, the head of which was a little lighter, shaded even lighter around the flare. His cock was between six and seven inches and fat in the middle. His beautiful oval balls hung underneath his cock in a black, haired bag. But it was his brooding look that drew second looks from women and men. Tonio knew he could never manage such a mein. But when this man Jamal wanted you, he loved you in his own way. Tonio didn't know how long the love lasted. How long did love ever last? But he felt like something real, something valuable, when Jamal was making love to him. And he knew it actually was making love.
There was also Rich the accountant. SO MUCH heat lurked behind that handsome, cool exterior! Tonio thought Drew must be like that. Hey! Rich and Drew shared the same professional poise. That had to mean that they were alike inside in some ways. That's why the guys had quizzed Hal so much about what sex with Drew was like.
Tonio loved getting dicked by Rich. Since baseball was central to Rich's being, Tonio would whisper "baseball" lingo, taunts, and come-ons to Rich. He studied baseball stories in the sport pages for a couple of weeks to build up his "baseball" vocabulary. He'd use it to make ole Rich so hot that he'd almost rape Tonio when they were alone. It was weird but nice. If Rich had been celibate too long, he'd make a date with Tonio. They would always start the evening in a bar. Then a nice dinner. And then to Rich's home. The entire evening before they headed for Rich's place was one long stretch of foreplay. He wondered when their next evening would be. Who wouldn't love this group of guys? If someone offered him another job with more pay, he'd turn it down. He'd be lost without these guys.
But here he was, making a command appearance because Felix, his only brother, had decided to visit from Los Angeles. From his earliest memories, he remembered being attracted to Felix. As a young man, Felix seemed to be the exemplar of his parents' notion of an Ortiz man. He was devilishly handsome. He had a head of black,curly hair that framed a square forehead. His dark eyes, which always looked a little menacing, were accented with very black brows. His nose was long and straight. He had square jaws and a smaller square chin. Muscles abounded in his shoulders, back, chest, and arms. For all these bundles of muscles, his waist was amazingly thin. His sculpted legs were lightly haired. One of the big turn-ons for Tonio was a heavy, black pubic beard and a long, thick cock. Square, narrow, muscled ass. Tonio felt himself ugly in comparison to Felix, an inferiority which Felix had intuited and which he had worked mercilessly.
As Tonio saw Felix in his mind's eye, he remembered for the hundredth time Felix and his buddy Rodney seducing him the year he was to finish junior high, seducing him with honeyed words, making him want to give them blow jobs, promising him the utmost in pleasure, telling him how special he was to them, removing a garment here and another there as a feast for his eyes and libido. Then they made him beg to be fucked. When they'd spilled their loads, they heaped abuse on him, calling him "pussy boy," "whore," and other names that didn't square with the male, Ortiz ethos.
Tonio knew the treatment had warped him - the pull of their words and gestures, making him feel important, special, loved, then the cruel push away because he wasn't worthy of them. And no matter if they'd delivered their exploitative behavior just two days before, he caved in to their blandishments the next time they came round, needing to believe this time would be different, making him hate himself. Felix and Rodney had even threatened to invite their friends to a gangbang where they'd sell Tonio's oral talents and ass. He shook his head as though that were all that was necessary to rid his mind of the horrible memories.
To compensate for Felix's cruel treatment of him, in Tonio's junior and senior years in high school, he would immediately call one of a circle of unattached women whose company was pleasant and invite her out on a date. Before the evening was over, he'd spent more than he should have on her, and he'd fucked her a couple of times, persuading himself that he wasn't really gay. When he reached college, he'd get hot over some guy, have sex with him, and then go look up one of his women. The result of years of this experience had led Tonio to compartmentalize his past - all the good people in one box, and the bad people in another. The good box sheltered both men and women. The bad box housed bitches and brutalizers. Felix's hold over him had ended only when Felix had entered the Army. Rodney had tried to keep it up, but without Felix, he wasn't as attractive to Tonio, so Tonio had rebuffed him. It worked! Tonio continued getting it on with guys and then rebounding to his women.
At the front door of the Ortiz home, Tonio didn't knock. He just walked in. People were milling around the house, and a glance out the big windows in the family room revealed the backyard where a long table made of planks laid on saw horses had been set up for the family dinner. Many of the clan were outside, conversing in small groups. He looked for his mother in the kitchen. There'd be hell to pay if he didn't give his greetings to her first. "Antonio! Here's my boy!" she beamed as she turned from a kitchen cabinet where she was preparing a dish for the family dinner. As Tonio bent down to deliver a kiss and a hug. "I knew you couldn't stay away. This boy wanted to see his brother," she exclaimed proudly to the women gathered in the kitchen. Then she frowned, "Though I don't know why it takes a visit from your brother for you to find your way home." She gave him a love pat on the cheek. He kissed his several aunts on the cheeks and gave Jennifer, Felix's wife, a hug, asking after his two nephews and niece.
"Who you dating now, honey?" his Aunt Carmella asked. Tonio just shook his head noncommittally.
"I hear you were at that Nicky Javez concert last week with a new, cute blond," his Aunt Rosalie commented.
"Oh!" his mother exclaimed. "I haven't heard about this. Who is she?"
"Her name is Tiffany Weldon, Mom. She's just a friend."
"Where did you meet her?"
"At Murphy's Gym, Mom. She works at the front desk."
"Nice girl like that, you need to get yourself back in college and finish that degree so that you have some security to offer her and my grandchildren. When are you going to quit that construction job and get back into school?" she asked impatiently. Tonio felt a third-degree interrogation coming on, so he moved to the kitchen door. "I need to go say hello to Dad," he said, hustling into the family room. He could hear his mother holding forth on her hopes for her youngest boy once he had worked his way through his "wildness." Tonio grinned. Wildness to his mother meant he wasn't allowing her to do his thinking for him or run his life. If she really knew how wild he was with his guys, she'd have a fit. If he hadn't made a demonstrative move away from his family a few years ago, she'd have him married now, fathering at least four children, carrying a big mortgage, and hanging onto her apron strings.
He found his father, who playfully punched him in the gut as he leaned over to bestow a filial kiss on his father's cheek. He shook hands with his uncles, cooed over two new babies in the family, and greeted many cousins, mostly the women. The younger male teen cousins didn't seem to come near. He thought Felix must have been muttering some of his poison about him in their company. He walked over for the obligatory greeting to his sister Gracilea. He'd never much cared for her. She was older than he. Her kids were meek as mice, thanks to her iron hand. Hell, she was just like their mother. He never stayed long in her company because Gracie usually picked up whatever theme she'd just heard from her mother about his shortcomings and started harping on it.
Now Gracilea's husband, Eduardo, "Eddie" for short, was another matter. Tonio would be on him in a flash if he could - former Marine; muscled cop; hard, shapely ass; hot, dark Hispanic features. His smile was as beatific as any vestige of the human realm could be. He had that sexy machismo that melted something inside anyone charmed by it. Even better than the Ortiz mystique. Funny that. The more Tonio melted inside, the harder his dick became. Yeah, that part made it difficult to be around his brother-in-law. Eddie was always friendly to Tonio, always hugging him when they met, which wasn't often, always squeezing his shoulder and holding his hand tightly when he shook it as though he were conveying a special, private message to his brother-in-law. Eddie was always inquiring about what was going on in Tonio's life. They'd no sooner than get a good vibe going when someone would interrupt. That was the problem with spending time at a big family gathering.
Eddie was popular. Tonio guessed it was what was called charisma. Everyone in the family liked being near him, listening to him, having the simple, rich gift of Eddie's presence conferred on them. Tonio frequently jerked off to his brother-in-law's hot image. He couldn't imagine that Eddie loved Gracie. He suspected, given the "early" birth of their first child, that Gracie had trapped him. Coming onto him right when she was fertile and then demanding that he marry her when she shortly discovered that she was pregnant. Eddie never let on that he might have been unhappy, but it would take some deep explaining to make Tonio believe Gracie gave Eddie anything like the beauty he conferred on her.
Tonio noticed Felix sitting on a lawn glider with Benjy, his son, his arm around his son's shoulder. Felix was explaining something to Benjy, but his hot eyes were scoping Tonio out. Tonio knew what he was thinking. He turned away. The family gathering might be occurring because Felix was visiting, but Tonio didn't have to say anything to him. The last time anything of significance between them had occurred, Felix had come home on leave. He'd been out on the town with his buddies. Tonio was at home studying for a calculus exam. When Felix stumbled in, he'd put the make on Tonio, who'd told him to go away because he had to study. Felix wouldn't take "no" for an answer. He'd raped Tonio and then beaten him, warning him to make himself ready every night during Felix's leave. Needless to say, Tonio didn't enjoy the rape. The subsequent beating pretty much sealed that effect. He guessed something in Felix's basic training in the army had made him decide that he packed enough weight and power to make Tonio his sex slave. Tonio'd left the Ortiz home that very night, bunking with buddies until Felix had returned to his unit.
By the time Felix came home on his next leave, Tonio had taken a job with Winston Construction Company and moved to a little apartment as far away from his parents home as he could locate. Of course, he'd had to drop out of college to work full time. He minimized his exposure to Felix after that. When his mother informed him he was to be Felix's best man when he married Jennifer, Tonio refused. One whopping argument erupted. He'd stormed out saying he wasn't even going to the wedding. It was the only time his mother had had to honor his stance on an issue. His parents had demanded to know why he was treating his brother so badly. Finally, he'd told them he wasn't discussing anything with them about his brother and him. Ever since that time, he noticed his father studying him through narrowed eyes as though to intensify his vision into Tonio's heart and mind. He knew his dad was trying to figure out what had caused a breach between his two sons. After tearful pleadings from his mother and a stern plea from his father, he agreed only to attend the wedding as a guest, leaving as soon as the recessional began. He went nowhere near the reception. His mother remarked caustically on his absence from the family wedding photo.
Tonio's parents had been frosty after that, so he'd stayed away from them for six months. Finally, his parents indicated that they wanted to move past the mysterious barrier that had sprung up in their relationship, but Tonio had remained distant. It made his life a lot easier. Now that Tonio was bigger and built and Felix had a wife, family and job, Tonio didn't think Felix would try to repeat the earlier rape. Had Tonio looked back at Felix at that moment, he would have seen Felix staring at him, at his ass in particular, his dark eyes smoldering and his right hand slowly closing into a fist and then opening while a mound grew in his crotch. Unbeknownst to Felix, their father was studying HIM with a frown, watching the hand and cock action.
The evening wore on with the interminable meal, chatter, restless babies, and running, yelling nieces and nephews. At his earliest opportunity, Tonio arose and entered the house, walking straight through to the front door. No good-byes to his parents, for they would guilt him into remaning. He stepped out onto the front porch, down the steps and walked toward the street. He'd made it to the front walk when he heard his name called, causing him to look over his shoulder. Felix was loping his direction. "Hey, Little Brother, aren't you going to say good-by?"
"Good-bye," Tonio said, turning to walk away.
"Hey, take a second, okay? I just want to have a word with my hot baby brother, who's grown into one sizzling stud. Wondered if I could come over to your place, have a cold one with you, catch up on what's happened in our lives. Maybe get close again the way we used to. You always liked that," he said, his voice growing softer and smoother.
"The last time we got close, you raped and beat me. You never even apologized, you bastard."
"Okay. I apologize. I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing."
"Bullshit, you knew exactly what you were doing, but it won't happen again."
"Well, I'll just drop by your place. I'll get the address from Mom."
"Good, my roommate, Big Bad-ass Bruiser Max Weingert, knows all about us and about what you did to me. He won't say a word to you; he'll just pound your sorry ass into the ground." Tonio was glad his mind had leapt to Max in fashioning a white lie to put Felix off.
Tonio's rejoinder threw Felix out of step. His eyes shot about wildly, seeking some gambit to maintain his ground with his little brother. "Just as I expected, you've gone queer, Little Brother," he sneered. "But I'm not afraid of your roommate. I know how to take care of myself. And then I'll take care of you, bitch." As Felix spoke, his voice grew in volume. Just then their father stepped out on the front porch, walking up to the rail, crossing his arms over his chest, watching them. Both Tonio and Felix recognized their father's stance as the one he took during their boyhood whenever he meant business.
"Stay the fuck away from me!" Tonio hissed, wheeling about and walking away.
Felix knew he couldn't pursue Tonio the way he wanted to, not with their father watching. Damn! He wanted a piece of his brother's ass again. He'd sit in his office, remembering how good it felt to get his brother to beg for his cock, to slam that ass, to twist his brother inside out, feeling the rush of power that he could do that to him. Tonio was so pathetic. He needed to be some real man's bitch. Felix knew he was the man.
Felix walked back to the porch where his father stood. As Felix climbed the porch steps, his father said, "I've been meaning to ask you a question for a long time. I need your help figuring something out. It was when you'd come home on your first leave after you entered the army. Your mother and I were attending a Knights of Columbus dinner and dance. We come home to find that Tonio has left home to stay with buddies. Two days later, your mother discovers a bloody tee shirt in your brother's room. Before you come back home on your second leave, Tonio finishes the semester, gets his construction job, and drops out of college. Won't even listen to your mother and me. He even refuses to be your best man in your wedding. In my mind, these events are connected. Could you explain to me how?"
"Dad, Mom's said it a hundred times - Tonio's wild. He's not responsible. He has no goals. I know it must hurt you to have produced such a son." Felix's father stood dispassionately, studying his oldest son. Not being able to read his father's reaction to his reply made Felix nervous. "I think Tonio likes men, Dad - you know what I'm saying? You've figured that out, right?" Now his father frowned, but Felix couldn't tell if it was at Felix for what he'd just alleged or at Tonio. Just then his mother stuck her head out of the door, calling them inside to celebrate family birthdays with a cake.
Felix's father nodded acceptance, telling her they would be in shortly. When she'd left the door, he fixed his son in a long, hard look. "I've got my own idea about what happened that night. I'll tell you this: if it ever happens again, no matter who or what the accusations are, whether in my home or someone else's, I'm getting involved. No one will like that!" His look turned icy, with Felix as its intended target. He waited until he saw Felix gulp. Then he slowly walked inside. Felix paused, mouthing "Damn!" silently. When his delay on the porch placed him far enough behind his father, he entered the house.
(To be continued.)