Should you be reading this? This story contains descriptions of sexual interactions between consenting underage males and if its illegal where you are then, don't do it! If someone says you cant and doesn't have a good reason however, then I quote my favorite author on this site, "Fuck Em" try it, you never know! I do occasionally use derogatory terminology in my work, and I apologize if this causes offence to anyone. It's not meant that way at all.
Also sorry for any spelling mistakes, I get a little dyslexic at times..
***************** Authors note:
Hey guys, sorry this chapter took a little longer to put up, I've been having a down period and It's hard to write when that happens, I feel like killing off characters and we cant have that. This chapter has no sex in it, sorry to say, so if your just reading because you need to get off, there's lots of better stories out there for that. My writing reflects my mood and as such, this chapter doesn't end well. I promise the next one will be a bit more steamy. *****************
The Couch: Part 5
Ian awoke on Saturday feeling a slight stiffness in his jaw and with a mild pounding in his head. He felt Matt's hand around his stomach and could tell that Matt was fast asleep by the deep breathing, which felt nice and warm as Matt exhaled onto Ian's neck. He would have loved to stay in that position but he had pee horribly badly. He moved Matt's arm so he could escape his embrace and stood up, almost falling over from the pain that shot through his head. Apparently it was a great deal worse then he thought. He looked at himself and realized he was still fully clothed, which he found odd. He couldn't really remember what had happened the previous night, and didn't know why. He never drank that much and he hadn't had more then a few beers at the party. He would ask Matt when he awoke.
Ian walked upstairs to the small main floor bathroom, where he pissed and washed his hands. As he was drying his hands he looked in the mirror for the first time and saw that he had a bruise almost covering the entire left side of his face, which would explain the pounding headache. More curious then ever he proceeded to the kitchen and found Matt's mom sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading a book. She looked up and smiled as she heard him walk in the room.
"How we feeling today hun?"
"I don't remember what happened last night... must have been some party." Ian replied, smiling, which hurt his jaw terribly so he stopped. Matt's mom frowned and stood up, walking to the cubbord where she took out some painkillers and gave Ian two. She poured him a glass of water and said
"You really don't remember anything do you?"
"No mam." Ian swallowed the pills and washed them down with water.
"Sit down and I'll tell you. Was Matt still breathing when you woke up?"
"Course'. why wouldn't he be?" Ian was puzzled, then he thought back and realized he hadn't looked at Matt when he woke up, just heard him.
"What happened? Please tell me!" Ian was earnest now, and more then a little worried.
"At the party, you told Mason you were gay."
"I...umm... wow. Why?"
"Matt didn't tell me, but I got the impression that Mason put you in an awkward situation and you had to. Anyways, Mason hit you and... Are you familiar with Manic Depressive Syndrome?" At Ian's blank look she said "Bipolar?"
"I've heard of it but I don't really know what it means. Why does that matter?"
"Hmm, of course Matt wouldn't tell you. Matt has that particular mental quirk, very severely too. He has medication but I don't know if he's been taking it. Let me explain it briefly to you. People with MDS will fluctuate wildly and randomly between extreme states of emotion, usually happiness, anger and other strong emotions, that's the Manic part, and sessions of utter depression and helplessness, that's the depressive. Are you with me?" Ian nodded and she continued.
"With Matt, his depression isn't so bad. The manic side however is very sever. When he's having one of his episodes his emotions are amplified. Happiness, and other positive things but mostly anger. Which is why I brought this up now. Mason hit you, after you said you were gay," Ian blushed again, being unused to people referring to him that way.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of hun. Any way, Mason hit you and you apparently got knocked out. Matt saw him do this and apparently went into one of his episodes because he fought Mason and hurt him really bad."
"Matt fought Mason? Because of me?" Ian felt a mixture of fear, pride and love for the boy sleeping downstairs.
"Fought may be the wrong term... I talked to the police and the hospital this morning, Mason is in the hospital with six broken ribs and numerous concussions, and there may be permanent brain damage. Matt didn't look seriously injured when I picked you up last night, we were more worried about you at that point. How bout you go downstairs and wake him and we'll talk after you boys have a shower." Ian nodded and got up. He turned to walk out of the room but then walked up to Matt's mom and hugged her.
"Thank you." he said, as she hugged him back, a little caught off guard. Ian walked downstairs and went to Matt's bedside and couldn't help but gasp. Matt had dried blood all over his hands and bruises almost everywhere on his face. Ian felt tears welling inside him as he knelt down and touched Matt's shoulder.
"Matt, wake up.." Ian nudged him again and Matt's eyes snapped open, then closed suddenly as he groaned in pain.
"Ouch." was all he said. He got up and winced, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Ian wanted to just hug him so bad, but figured it would cause more pain then comfort.
"Come on, lets go have a hot shower and then we'll go talk to your mom." Ian led Matt towards the stairs then climbed the two flights to the bathroom with the shower.
Once inside Ian quickly stripped down, then helped Matt with his clothing, taking it off slowly and trying to avoid touching his bruises too much. As soon as Matt's shirt was off Ian gasped again. There were bruises all over his chest and Ian thought it was amazing he was even walking.
Matt saw Ian staring and pushed Ian's chin up so he was looking into Matt's eyes.
"If I hadn't got these for you, they would be unbearable babe. But I can handle a little bit of pain as long as you're here." Ian felt tears in his eyes again, then Matt was hugging him and he couldn't hold it back anymore, he started quietly sobbing into Matt's shoulder.
"Shhhh, I'm the one who looks like he got hit by a bus, why are you crying?"
"It's just... Its all my fault. None of this would have happened if I could stand up for myself."
"Never say that. Ever. It's not your fault. I love you Ian, and I don't think I could live without you. Don't ever change and don't blame yourself."
Matt led Ian towards the shower and put him in, then got in behind him. Only then did he let his tears of pain fall, when Ian wasn't looking, god he hurt everywhere.
Both boys cleaned off, with Ian doing most of the work since it hurt Matt to move too much. Both of them got aroused simply from the attention Ian was giving to Matt's body but they both knew that now wasn't the time. It took ages to get all the blood off of Matt's hands. When Ian commented on it Matt just smirked and said "Ya, but you should see the other guy." Ian's face darkened and he said
"Your mom said you put him in the hospital and he may have brain damage."
Matt sighed and said nothing. They got out of the shower and Ian toweled Matt dry as gently as possible, but couldn't help but draw a couple winces out of him. Ian handed Matt the change of clothes he had grabbed when he was downstairs and put on his own.
Ian finished doing up his pants and was just sliding himself into his T-shirt when he heard Matt clear his throat behind him. He turned to see matt shirtless with his pants up but undone. Matt's hands were severely swollen and he couldn't get the button on his pants done up, nor put on his socks.
"Could you lend a hand here please." Matt said, which caused Ian to smile and say "Gladly."
He walked over and knelt in front of matt and did his button then the zipper up. Before he stood he planted a soft kiss right below Matt's belly-button, pausing briefly to take in the smell which was that of soap and Matt's scent, which Ian had always loved. He pushed Matt onto the toilet seat and lifted up each of his feet, kissing all over them before he put on Matt's socks. Then he pushed Matt to his feet and slowly kissed up his chest before arriving at his lips, which he gently brushed with his own lips before leaning down and grabbing Matt's shirt which was still on the floor. He helped Matt slip into it, but when Matt's head popped out of the hole Ian saw tears in his eyes. Thinking he had accidentally hurt him when he put the shirt on Ian said hurriedly "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"
He was interrupted when Matt pulled him in for a forceful and passionate kiss. When they came apart for air Matt pulled Ian close into a tight embrace.
"Please don't ever leave me. I love you so much, I cant be without you."
The statement caught Ian totally unprepared and he wasn't sure what to say aside from "I'll always be here for you, and I love you too." They stood like that for a long time, until suddenly Matt said with his usual tone of sarcasm
"I don't mean to ruin this moment I started, but this hurts a lot."
Ian chuckled and pulled away, not before planting a quick kiss on Matt's lips. They opened the door and went downstairs ready to face whatever trials awaited.
When the boys arrived downstairs Matt's mom was sitting on the couch. She gestured for them to sit down as well and the boys sat together on the large armchair across from her. Matt's mom took a deep breath and looked at the boys.
"Alright, there's two things we need to discuss, both of which will have a large impact on both of your lives. The first is this; Matt, you almost put Mason in a coma and he is seriously injured. Now you have a witness who states that Mason started the fight and you acted for the most part to defend Ian. I talked to Sue, my lawyer friend whom you probably don't remember, but anyways she says that because of your mental condition, don't look at me like that Ian already knows, because of your condition your extreme actions can be explained and she is confident that she can shield you from the majority of the legal ramifications of this event. Now I have to ask you something, and you have to be totally honest about this, alright?" Matt nodded and she went on to ask
"Have you been taking your medication everyday?"
"No..." Matt looked at his feet, being unable to look his mother in the eye. His mothers eyes softened and she leaned towards him.
"Why not honey? You know what the doctor said."
"I hate the way it makes me feel! I feel like I should be able to control it and I cant but I don't want..." Tears started to pour down Matt's face, and Ian wrapped his arms around him and held him while he sobbed quietly.
"I understand hun, but you have to promise me you'll take them alright? We cant have you acting like you did last night all the time."
"Yes mum."
"Alright, the second issue affects you both equally, and I bet you haven't even thought about it yet. First of, were you planning on telling the kids at school that you're gay?" As both boys shook their heads no, she went on "Well you should consider that by now most of them probably know, and almost all of them will know by Monday. Just bear that in mind."
At this, Ian paled considerably. He was a relatively introverted person and the idea of everyone knowing all of a sudden seemed to scare him. Matt had a stony look on his face and Ian looked at him and Matt smiled confidently.
"Good then. Now Matt, you look pretty banged up, are you ok?"
Matt started to respond but Ian cut him off.
"He has bruises everywhere and his right shoulder was dislocated and set again. He probably has some cracked ribs too."
"Matt, do we need to go to the doctor? Unfortunately there's not much that can be done for those types of injuries aside from giving them time."
Matt shook his head no, he didn't need a doctor and Matt's mom stood up and looked at them and smiled.
"Good, Ian your staying over until Monday right? Excellent, keep a close eye on him. I assume I don't need to get extra bedding out? Alrighty, off you both go then."
As the boys stood up and started walking towards the hallway that led to the basement, she called over her shoulder "And Ian? Be gentle!" Ian blushed furiously and Matt yelled "Mom!" then the boys were downstairs and on the couch. They spent all of Saturday cuddling and watching TV, then went to bed.
Matt snuggled in behind Ian and fell asleep almost instantly due to the pain killers his mom had given him earlier. Ian however couldn't get to sleep, his mind turning with thoughts of rejection at school, and his twisted feelings towards Matt. Eventually he dozed off and fell into a fitful sleep filled with nightmares about his mom finding out, being crucified at school and other unpleasant things.
Sunday passed without much happening as Matt was still to beat up for fun, and before either of them knew it, it was Monday. Ian didn't want to leave the house and Matt had to practically drag him out the door. Despite his promise to his mother, Matt still hadn't taken his medication and was feeling great on that particular day, despite the fact that they were about to walk into a catholic school where they were the only "out" guys.
They walked into the school and through the halls to their lockers, all the while hearing whispers behind them as they passed. Matt didn't think they would have a problem, after all he had demonstrated in a pretty brutal way that they weren't to be picked on, so he walked with his head held high and with a confident gait. Ian however looked like he wanted to melt into a wall and never be seen again. When they arrived at their lockers Ian looked at Matt and said "I don't know if I can do this.." He was breathing heavily and his face was flushed.
"It's alright, just act like nothing happened and nothing will."
Matt put his hand on Ian's shoulder and squeezed slightly as the bell rang. Both boys grabbed their books and ran off to their first period class.
The day was going well until Matt's last class, religion, which Matt had already assumed would be... interesting. The class went by as usual and Matt thought he might get off easily, but as everyone was filing out of the classroom the teacher called Matt to his desk.
"I would like word with you young man."
"Yes deacon."
Matt sat at a desk in the front row doing his best to show no sign of nerves as the last of the people filed out of his class. The deacon stood up and walked to the board and without saying a word picked up a marker and wrote out "Leviticus 18:22; Though shall not lie with a man as one lies with a woman: that is detestable." he then walked back to his desk and sat down and crossed his legs and looked at Matt.
"Tell me, what has caused you to stray from the lords path so, my son."
"I don't know sir. It's just the way I feel."
"But it is wrong. If you continue along this path you will never enjoy the sacrament of marriage, will never see the miracle of life, and cannot take comfort with your woman."
Matt stared at his teacher, his anger building inside. He had never liked religion, and wasn't a slave to the dogma that had been shoved down their throats since birth. He often debated the fine points of gospel with his teachers and was labeled a nuisance for it.
"I can't explain it sir, it's just the way I am."
"But it is wrong!" the deacon slammed his fist down on his desk and stood up, then he began pacing back and forth in front of the desk where Matt was sitting.
"You will cease these acts of... filth! You will cease them and I will have a clean school again!"
Matt was shocked for a moment by the acidity of his teachers words, then he regained his footing and stood up in anger.
"If your god didn't want me to be this way why would I feel love towards a guy? Your religion is flawed and I don't appreciate being commanded to obey. This isn't the archaic past where you can burn me at the stake for being different. Deal with it. Sir."
Matt started walking towards the door then paused in front of the board.
"Its spelt thou, not though. And the quote is thou shalt not, not though shall not. Good day sir."
With that Matt walked out of the classroom, to the stunned silence of the deacon. He felt pretty good with himself, despite the realization that he probably shouldn't have talked to a teacher like he had. As he was walking down to hall to his locker he realized he hadn't heard from Ian all day and was kind of disappointed. He was about to call him when he realized that Ian probably needed space. After all they had agreed to keep their relationship quiet but now it was suddenly out in the open, it was a lot to handle.
Matt grabbed his things then walked to the door and stepped outside. At minus 44 it was colder then usual and he wasn't looking forward to the walk home. He was about to turn down the street that led to his bus stop when a car pulled up beside him and the window rolled down. Matt sighed and thought "Now what" then looked in the car window to see Arthur smiling out at him.
"Need a lift?"
"Hell yes!" Matt walked around the car and got in, throwing his bag in the back seat as he did so.
"What are you doing here so late?"
"Waiting for you, want to grab a hot chocolate before I drop you off?" Arthur looked like he had a lot on his mind so Matt agreed and they drove to the nearest Starbucks and went in. Matt nervously opened his wallet and saw that he didn't have any money, which wasn't unusual or unexpected. He looked up to tell Arthur and saw that he had already paid for both of them.
"Thanks man, much appreciated." Matt said gratefully as he walked with Arthur to a table in the corner.
"No problem. I wanted to talk to you about Friday night."
Matt's smiled dimmed a little and he sat down heavily.
"What about it? You saw it all and heard all you needed to hear."
"Well, I just want to make sure we're still friends is all. The entire school is talking about you and I heard the deacon is right pissed. Did he talk to you by the way?"
"Talk would be a kind term for it, yes. So the schools talking, that doesn't matter much to me. They can talk all they want, nothing will change. I still beat the shit out of my best friend and came out in a very dramatic fashion and dragged Ian along for the ride."
"Well I just want you to know I wont leave you... I mean, we're still friends and I hope we can get closer.. I... err-"
Matt chuckled and said "I get it Arty, and I'm glad, you've helped a lot in keeping things together, more then I know I imagine."
Arthur smiled and Matt felt blood rush to his groin, god he was so amazing to look at. Matt realized he was starring and looked down into his hot chocolate.
"Have you seen Ian today at all? He hasn't talked to me since morning." Matt asked of Arthur, trying to divert the conversation from his awkwardness.
"Yeah I saw him a couple times in the hall. He didn't look that great, don't think he's handling this well at all."
"I hope things go well for him at home, if his mom finds out about me and him... well we'll see."
They talked idly for another hour, Matt just enjoying the novelty of frivolous conversation and Arthur content to sit and chat. Finally they both got into Arthur's car and he drove Matt home. As Matt was getting out of the car Arthur got out too and walked around. What he did next surprised and excited Matt in equal measure. Arthur wrapped his arms around Matt in a warm hug. It wasn't the bro' love hugs Matt was used to from him, but a warm caring hug, which Matt returned and didn't want to end. When Arthur finally pulled away he looked Matt in the eye and said
"If you ever need to, you can call me ok? With anything, I'm always willing to talk."
"Th...thanks man." Matt blushed and turned away and walked up his steps.
He turned in time to wave as Arthur drove away and went inside the house, his mind awhirl with thoughts. He went and sat on his couch and starred at the wall. What had Arthur meant, when he said he wanted to become closer? And he wouldn't leave? But mostly, that hug... Matt could still smell Arthur's lingering scent. It was so unlike Arthur to show emotions like that. Matt leaned back and fell asleep on his couch, his mind in a tumult. He drifted off to sleep and didn't wake up until his mom got home from work at 11. He got up and moved to his bed and lay down on the side of the bed where Ian had slept the night before, on the pillow that still smelt like his hair. Once Matt lay down on the place where Ian's smell was strongest, all thoughts of Arthur were forgotten.
Ian was not at school the next day, nor the day after that. Matt texted him often but he never responded, his house phone went equally ignored. Matt started to get worried so on Wednesday he went to Ian's house after school and knocked on the door. Ian's mom answered and when she saw who it was her face turned into a mask of disgust.
"Oh, its you. The embodiment of sin. The one who turned my son from the good lords path!"
Matt was shocked at the outburst, and couldn't even say anything.
"Oh yes, I know. I know what you were hiding from me. The deacon was nice enough to call me and explain to me what was going on and My lord was I disappointed in Ian and.."
Matt didn't even listen to the rest of the words, just waited for her to finish her oratory. When she finally paused for breath he said
"Is Ian home, I'd like to talk to him."
"Oh I'm sure you would! And I want you to talk to him too. He has something to say to you!"
Matt was ushered in and sent upstairs to Ian's room. He knocked and let himself in. He saw Ian on the bed, just laying there and staring at the ceiling.
"Ian.. I-"
"No don't. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a few days. Mother took my phone and hasn't let me leave my room since Monday."
"It's alright. What did you have to say to me? I didn't think she'd let me out of sight before god struck me down, let alone come up here and talk to you alone."
"Matt... I... I cant do this."
Matt was confused and asked "cant do what?"
"THIS! I can't be this different. Mom's taking me out of our school and sending me to prep school at the end of the month. I don't think I can be with you anymore, I just cant handle the attitude people have. I cant handle the secrecy and the lies... I just cant."
Matt stood there, his face stony and emotionless.
"You said you loved-"
"Damnit Matt we're not even eighteen, what the hell do we know about love? I thought I did but it's not worth all this."
Matt felt his heart fall like a rock. His entire world had just ended. He barley managed to whisper
"It was worth it to me."
Matt walked out of Ian's room and slowly walked down the stairs. He heard Ian crying quietly back in his room. Ian's mom was still waiting by the door. As soon as she saw him she started ranting about the good lord would save her son from people like him and he wouldn't bring his corruption around anymore. Matt didn't even hear. He moved listlessly out the door and into the street. He didn't even remember going home, his entire mind being encompassed by that all consuming depression that was his sadness. Suddenly he found himself sitting on his couch. For the second time in his life, Matt considered ending it. Only this time, there was no one to save him, no one to wrench him from the abyss. Matt stood up and went to get a knife from the kitchen.
Arthur pulled into his driveway and started to get out of his car. It was an old jeep but it ran well and served his purposes. As he leaned into the back seat he grabbed his bag and noticed Matt's sweater was laying across his floor, Matt must have left it when he was getting out on Monday. Arthur picked it up and smelt it. It smelt like... Matt. Arthur loved that smell and smiled. He decided he would take the sweater to Matt's house and maybe have another extended conversation, he had so enjoyed the last one. He hopped back into the car and started the 10 minute drive to Matt's house.
Matt grabbed a meat slicer from the drawer and a towel from the cupboard and went back downstairs. He grabbed a pen and paper from his schoolbag and began to write.
Mom,
This isn't your fault.
Ian is gone forever and I cant
see any reason to keep going.
I'm sorry I was such a disappointment.
Know that I always loved you,
And I always will.
-Mathew
Matt walked upstairs and placed the note on the floor in the hall so she would see it when she walked in. Sullenly he walked back downstairs and laid the towel on the floor, He didn't want to make a mess. Matt placed his left arm on the towel, palm upwards and placed the bladed edge of the knife on his flesh. He felt tears start to pour down his face. It was time, there was really no reason to be here. He pulled the knife up his arm, cutting deep into the vein. Blood immediately started pumping out. Oddly, there was no pain, only a warm sensation as the blood poured down his arm. Matt took the knife in his mutilated hand and started to cut his other wrist, but couldn't manage to grasp the hilt. He had cut his nerves when he sliced his first wrist and now that hand didn't work almost at all. Matt started to feel very sleepy and lied down next to the towel so his arm was still over it. Blackness started to creep around the edges of his vision.
Arthur pulled up in front of Matt's house and grabbed the sweater from his passenger seat. He hurried up to the front door and rung the bell. No one answered but that was to be expected, Matt didn't usually hear the bell if he was in his basement. Arthur grabbed the key from the flower pot it was hidden in and opened the door. He called Matt's name and didn't get an answer, which was weird because he couldn't hear the music or the TV. Frowning he walked down the hall then felt his foot squish a bit of paper. He picked it up and read Matt's messy handwriting. He was at the stairs and vaulting down them four at a time before the note even drifted back to the floor.
Matt heard his name. Funny, he though, that's not what I thought god would sound like. He felt the floor shake and saw a shape standing over him. The shadowy figure knelt next to him and Matt felt a tear hit his forehead. That's odd, I wonder why the angel is crying, he thought. The shape pulled out something from its pocket and the world went black.
Well that's morbid isn't it? O well. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Send me an email and let me know what you think thus far! Matt-k-d@hotmail.com I appreciate any constructive criticism.