The Clairvoyant Matchmaker

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THE CLAIRVOYANT MATCHMAKER--CHAPTER 1

When Lance was born still wrapped inside the amniotic sac, his mama squealed with delight as she knew a baby in a caul signaled something exceptional was both here and on its way. "Why my little boy is gonna do very special things," she repeated in earnest to friends and family, to anyone who would listen. "You just wait and see. He might save your life one day."

At first Lance didn't understand any of this and things seemed normal for a few years until one day, a notorious incident happened at the local grocery store and his life would change forever.

Mama always took him with her when she did her shopping since his papa was busy working in the mines. She was standing as the ordinary-looking middle-aged female cashier ran the items through the scanner and the balding bagger with a moustache stuffed them into a paper bag.

Lance tugged at Mama's summer dress as it was that glorious time of year when it was nice and warm all day long, the way he liked it.

"That man kissed that lady's hoo-hah." Lance giggled as he pointed at the bagger then the cashier.

"What, honey?" Mama knew what she heard and the cashier and bagger were red-faced but going about their business, saying nothing. "No, no baby. That didn't happen, sweetie." Soon she had one bag in one arm and her little boy in the other, rushing to the car before she died of embarrassment.

Once in the car, she turned to him and he was smiling and happy, kicking his little feet over the edge of the car seat without a care in the world.

"What did you mean by that, Lance?" She thought it was slightly funny but disturbing at the same time.

"I just saw them inside my head, Mama."

"What? Inside your head?"

"Yes'm. It just came to me."

"Well okay then." What else could she say? She never expected this to happen, never in a million years. "But you mustn't ever say that kind of thing again. Okay? Promise me?" She looked sternly at him, knowing how each and every thing in life was only one small step away from destruction, but her heart was always full of love.

"I promise." He really meant it, too. For the moment.

So it was settled. Of course, it only lasted until a few months later when Jacob, her brother, was visiting with Bobby-Sue, his wife, and everyone was sitting in the living room having a nice quiet chat as the sun was setting outside.

Little Lance was sitting on a kid's chair by the couch when he suddenly stood up and began running haywire around the room. "Yayyyy!" he exclaimed, his joy spilling out of his twitchy and excited body. He stopped in front of Jacob, his face beaming.

"You like running after auntie, doncha uncle?"

"Hunh?" Jacob was perplexed as were the others. "What are you talking about little guy?"

Mama, meanwhile, could see something was about to happen and she was figuring out what to say when it was finally too late.

"I saw you run upstairs with auntie," Lance shouted and poor Mama was beside herself with anxiety over what would come next. "And you was wrestling, like on tv, but naked."

Jacob's eyes were wide like a spooked owl and Bobby-Sue looked mortified, sinking into the couch.

Mama could tell the way her brother was reacting that Lance must have seen what was happening, right inside that little head of his. It was like the time at the grocery store. Oh my stars, she thought, could this be his heavenly gift?

Over the years it became evident that Lance could see the sexual relationships and fantasies of and between people, hear their thoughts and longings, their romantic hopes and dreams and sometimes even their aggressions, but he couldn't see anything else. He didn't know when rain would fall, or if the sun would shine all day tomorrow. He couldn't predict wars, or disease outbreaks, or whether he would win the lottery. It just didn't work that way.

At eighteen, Lance was a medium-sized young man with nice short brown hair and a face that melted into the background of life, something that pleased him immensely. In natural light he sometimes was handsome but he could also look ugly in certain conditions. Mostly he was a background character in a TV show or movie, someone you would likely forget about. Unless he had a speaking line. Because Lance had a remarkable radiophonic voice and when he spoke it was mellifluous and transporting. He knew it had impact.

Once he was at college and settled in his dorm, he decided he would use his secret skill to make a few bucks because it just didn't seem right that he wasn't getting his share out of the whole thing. So he decided to start small by publishing a webpage restricted to the campus for now and he would see how it went. He hoped the service he had to offer would help pay for his food and lodging since his parents were only able to give $100 a month to him, which was better than nothing. But he only had enough money for one month and he definitely needed more to survive in this upside down modern world of craziness. Anyway, Mama had always told him to be kind and not mean and he would get what he needed to be happy. And he reasoned that Mama was probably always right.

Lance had a roommate for the first time in his life. He was an only child and not too familiar with the etiquette and expectations of living in the same bedroom with someone else, especially someone who wasn't your kin. He decided to just go with the flow and be strategic in what he said.

Jeremy was tall and skinny with a few pimples on his friendly face. He was handsome, though, in a Hollywood sort of way, especially if the make-up artists worked their magic on him. And he was a virgin, spending each moment he could when he was alone to masturbate, usually fantasizing about faceless men and their varied bodies because, for now, he didn't know what his type of guy was. He sensed a face was beginning to form in his more recent fantasies but it was impossible to tell who it was. He also wasn't alone at the moment and he waited impatiently for his strange roommate to leave so he could take care of business, as he liked to do...

"Until the cows come home," Lance said, finishing his thought for him.

Jeremy laughed uncomfortably, thinking what an impossible coincidence that was.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked Lance, studying his face. He sat on his bed, curious, and felt weirded out, too.

"Nothing." Lance closed his eyes for a moment, seeing beyond a field of darkness. "Do you know Gotham?"

"Who's that?" Jeremy knew exactly who Gotham was. They shared an economics class, and while he couldn't explain it he somehow liked Gotham, an ordinary guy with a nice bubbly butt that announced itself whenever it was nearby. Was he the faceless guy taking shape in his fantasies?

"Yes he's the guy," Lance began, moving his eyes now as he saw Gotham, heard him, felt his heartfelt longing. Lance liked it when it was this way, simple and sweet. Evil deeds, blackmail, crime, and anything else along those dark sexual lines were never too far away, however. He had once or maybe a few times caused something terrible to happen because he didn't know about consequences, mainly the negative ones that caused humiliation, injury, and maybe even death. He kept the horror of those memories at bay. "Listen. I'm going to tell you something that nobody knows and it'll benefit you. But I need you to give me something in return."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know you're gay," Lance answered in a low voice. He knew Jeremy was in the closet and very red-faced at the moment, about to panic. Lance didn't care at all about someone's sexual orientation, though. He wasn't even certain what he himself was.

"What is this? You gonna blackmail me or something?" Jeremy shuddered imagining the worst. Fuck, he thought. Fuck.

"I just want some of those cookies you get from your ma," Lance said. "Give some to me every once in a while. Okay? If it's a deal I'll tell you something you want to know."

"Okay." Jeremy didn't know what else to say. He was nervous.

"Good. Now, in fifteen minutes you need to be at the Clock Tower. That's when Gotham will be there."

"Gotham? What do you mean?"

"He saw you there a few times at four in the afternoon. And since he first saw you there two weeks ago, he continues to go at four each and every day. He thinks it's hopeless because he believes you're straight. But he goes anyway, hoping."

Lance looked at his watch. Jeremy was thinking he was being set up for something.

"He's in a class with me," Jeremy said. "He could speak to me there."

"There's never time for that," Lance replied. "And he likes the Clock Tower. It's kind of romantic to him. You better get going. Take your backpack but keep a binder in your arms. It will be the catalyst to your first conversation with him."

"This is hardcore bullshit."

"You want desperately to fuck him, Jer," Lance said. "You've known it for a while but couldn't see his face in your head. And believe it or not he wants you to be his boyfriend... Hurry, you just have thirteen minutes now. It won't happen if you aren't there. And it will be your last chance because without you in the picture another guy bumps into him tomorrow and wins his heart soon after that."

Jeremy was stunned because that all resonated secretly within him. Upset, he stared coldly at Lance as he grabbed his backpack and headed for the door. Lance reached for a binder from Jeremy's small desk by his bed and handed it to him.

"You'll need this," Lance told him. "Hold it in your arm and keep it there until you reach the Clock Tower. Don't put it in your backpack and don't worry. You'll know what to do. Just let it happen. You'll see."

"You're weird, dude," Jeremy said as he left the room, but he knew this was just so fucked up it might be true.

Soon, Jeremy was approaching the Clock Tower, which was a very popular part of the college campus, attracting dozens of young men and women wanting to socialize and be seen. On a good day like today well over a hundred were milling about. Some guy was doing crazy boardslide stunts with his skateboard using the Tower's intricate hand-wrought iron railings and modest flight of stone steps. A few excited girls gathered and began to cheer him on. In response other people headed towards the noise and the crowd grew larger. Jeremy was one of them, curious to see what the fuss was about, holding on to his binder like an idiot. A shriek was heard above the din of the crowd.

Jeremy looked up and saw a skateboard wheel attached to a steel plate flying over peoples' heads. They were mostly unaware of its presence, of its jagged and potentially lethal edge. Jeremy saw it was going to come down hard and he followed its trajectory, raising his binder now so he could shield the guy whose head was about to be hit. The wheel bounced off the binder and a guy nearby wearing biking gloves caught it. The crowd erupted in cheers, the skateboarder got his wheel back, nobody was hurt and everyone was entertained.

The guy whose head narrowly missed an unforgiving trauma turned to see who had intervened. Gotham couldn't believe his luck. It was that guy, Jeremy, the guy he was thinking about all day, the guy he had a hopeless crush on. Well here he was beside him. My hero, he thought.

"Thanks, bro," he said instead to Jeremy. "I think you just saved me from a head wound."

Jeremy nodded in appreciation and their eyes connected. In that instant he knew Lance was right as impossible as it was and he had a major hard-on. He had to say something.

"Let me buy you a coffee," he offered.

"Shouldn't I buy you one?" Gotham replied. "I mean, you..." He trailed off, his heart racing. How could he be speechless at a time like this? He noticed Jeremy appeared to be waiting for him to continue but then his eyes wandered down to the bulge Jeremy had on display. It wasn't a dreaded circus bulge like in porn, he thought, and there were no unnecessary bells and whistles, only the silent wolf-whistling happening in his heart. Words finally came back to him. "Let's get that coffee you deserve, hero."

"Nice," Jeremy said, blushing.

They began to move through the crowd. Jeremy inched ever so closer to Gotham until he was pressing into his beautiful bubble butt. Damn it felt so good there. He pressed his dick forward a bit more, just a small insignificant thrust that Gotham probably wouldn't notice, because it was too tempting not to do it. "Sorry," he suddenly said, realizing his move might be viewed as perverted.

They were away from the crowd now and stopped, slowly turning to each other like one of those pandering but delightful slow motion scenes in a romantic comedy. They were both stunned.

"I guess you're gay, too," Gotham said. He was dressed in dark synthetic pants, like climbing pants, and a bright red shirt that nicely hugged his thin torso. But to Jeremy those pants looked painted on his butt and he couldn't control his growing erection.

"Un-fucking-believable," Jeremy said. He suddenly hugged Gotham who melted in his embrace.

"Fuck the coffee," Gotham whispered in his ear. "My roommate's gone for the day. Come to my place."

Jeremy's eyes widened and soon they were at the threshold to Gotham's austere pad. Gotham opened the door and stepped into his small room with two single beds, practical desks for the space and some chairs.

"Please," he said to Jeremy, proffering his hand. "I want you to come inside."

"Fuck," Jeremy groaned, taking Gotham's hand in his. Gotham pulled him into the room and kicked the door shut behind them. Jeremy was so excited he thought he might come in his pants. He pulled Gotham close to him and for the first time in his life he wrapped his arms around a man to embrace him. His stomach briefly gurgled and he was surprised and embarrassed. Gotham's stomach gurgled in return. They looked at each other, red-faced, and started a good hearty laugh together as they leaned into each other. And that's when they lightly bumped their foreheads, and in doing so discovered they both loved the intimacy of a good, long, meaningful forehead bump. They stayed that way for a moment, when finally one of them kissed the other, which led to the most frenzied and impassioned kissing of their young lives. They discovered an entire galaxy of nerve endings in those unexplored lips, enhancing the full-body thrills they were experiencing.

They seemed to be floating towards Gotham's bed on one side of the room as their tongues and roaming hands explored each other. Gotham nibbled Jeremy's earlobe sending waves of shivers up and down his spine. Jeremy squirmed as he placed his hands on Gotham's waist when Gotham began to unzip his pants, squeezing and teasing his cock. Gotham yanked Jeremy's pants to his ankles and pushed him to a seated position on the side of the bed. He got on his knees and grinned with seductive innocence. Jeremy sat there admiring Gotham's enthusiasm, watching him take out his trembling, leaking cock. He was in ecstasy.

Gotham wasted no time and approached the head of that beautiful thick and cut cock, licking the entire surface until it glistened with saliva and precum. He looked directly into Jeremy's astonished eyes and kept that gaze as he plunged balls-deep to Jeremy's neatly trimmed bush. Meanwhile, he was also hard but he decided to wait rather than jacking it which helped fuel his unyielding, emotion-laden desires.

Jeremy gasped as his body writhed and sank into the bed and into the moist and velvety heaven of Gotham's mouth. He felt an inevitable orgasm rising quickly inside him, unable to contain it this first time in another guy's willing mouth.

"Dude, I'm gonna blow my load," he warned Gotham who simply increased his pace to get his wanted prize. Jeremy grunted and moaned, wanting to form words but unable to as his body convulsed and he emptied his massive cummy load into his new buddy's mouth.

Gotham continued to lick with his tongue and squeeze with his throat at the base of Jeremy's cock to get every single drop of his precious seed. Jeremy was almost purring now, his eyes closed, his body relaxed and happy.

Gotham sat on the side of his bed next to Jeremy and was in utter disbelief. He had sucked Jeremy's cock and swallowed his seed with a hunger that was alien to him. He felt happy and sad and scared, wondering what would happen next if anything at all. His heart was full of hope, however, and he latched on to that feeling like a man clinging to his tiny life raft as it drifted aimlessly on a violent, lonely sea.

Jeremy couldn't believe he received his first blowjob from a guy he liked and wanted to fuck. What were the odds of this happening without him having done a thing? It was likely impossible, he thought, or improbable. Or...

"Lance," he said, sitting up and shaking his head.

"Lance?" Gotham turned to face Jeremy, worried that he had already moved on yet they had so far barely done anything together.

"He's my roommate. I...I think he made this happen." The reality of it was now sinking in and Jeremy had countless questions.

"What do you mean?"

Jeremy explained it and he realized how weird and impossible it sounded when hearing it spoken out loud. He watched Gotham's cute face respond to each detail and felt a surge of affection towards him.

"He handed you the binder...the binder that probably saved me?" Gotham was reeling from it all. He knew the steel plate from the skateboard would have put a dent in his skull.

"Yep," Jeremy said.

"And Lance said he knew you wanted to fuck me?" Gotham's cock jerked in his pants.

"Yes!" Jeremy exclaimed. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

"You have no idea," Gotham replied. "You're the fucking goat. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever suck your cock though I wanted to and here we are. But I'm not ready to be fucked. It'll be messy and gross and I want to be prepared, `cause then, it'll be... fantastic plus." He thought the last part sounded pretty stupid and he chuckled. "I have no original thoughts right now for some reason. What about tomorrow?"

"I like your thinking, Gotham." Jeremy wrapped his arm around Gotham's shoulders and squeezed him. "Tomorrow's okay. We might need a few more days of practice if you want it to be fantastic plus. And you could fuck me, too."

"I would love that." Gotham squirmed in his seat, horny and expectant.

"I can't believe you kept your pants on, bro." Jeremy was fondling Gotham's crotch as he lowered his face towards it.

"I didn't think you'd reciprocate. But I am loving this, seeing your sexy face getting ready to swallow my cock." Gotham unzipped his pants and lowered them to his knees, wondering if he was going to be a prude forever. He then removed them completely and tossed them on the floor. To hell with that shit.

Jeremy got on his knees and marveled at the hard uncut cock before him. It was similar to his in length and girth with a curve made for cocksuckers, just like his, but uncut unlike his. Gotham's foreskin wasn't completely retracted and Jeremy wasn't sure how to approach it. He tentatively touched it. Gotham pulled the foreskin back to make things easier but he knew he couldn't escape the inevitable. This was his first blowjob, too, and he knew he would come as fast as Jeremy did. At least this first time.

Jeremy tentatively licked the beautiful cock for a couple of seconds.

"Go down all the way, fuck," Gotham moaned, trying desperately to stay still. But when Jeremy swallowed his cock half way he couldn't stop writhing about the bed.

Jeremy was determined to go balls-deep because if Gotham could do it, so could he. He pulled off for a bit, catching his breath and smirking at Gotham. Saliva dripped from his mouth. He was hard again, too, and wanted to take care of it but focused on Gotham's twitching cock instead. That was all that mattered right now. He opened his mouth, mindful of his teeth, and slowly went down until he felt that cock entering his throat and Gotham's bush tickling his nose. He stayed there, swallowing a bit and Gotham shook in response. He moved back to the head and licked the underside and that was all it took.

"Fuckkkkkk!" Gotham cried as his cock flooded Jeremy's mouth. Damn, it felt so good, he thought, unable to find the words to express his joy. They should have sent a poet, at least whenever a young man didn't know what to say.

For a moment they were silent, wanting more but being still. They both pulled up their pants and faced each other. They saw the joy in each other's faces. It was like they saw the sacred face of God.

"Are we going to see each other again?" Gotham asked.

"Seriously? I hope so, and over and over again. Fantastic plus takes time." Jeremy laughed and Gotham joined him.

"I might fall in love, you know." Gotham was serious.

"Me, too," Jeremy said and he gave Gotham the most earnest hug of his life. "Look, I need to go home and ask Lance how he knew about all of this. It's driving me crazy. Want to join me?"

"Yeah. I need to hear it from the horse's mouth."

"Let's go, babe." Jeremy reached out for Gotham's hand.

"Babe?" Gotham was blushing. He took Jeremy's hand in his and didn't look back.

Lance was hitting the publish button for his webpage, The Clairvoyant Matchmaker, when he heard commotion at the door. He turned and saw Jeremy and Gotham standing there, looking at him like they saw a ghost.

"Hi," he said. He noticed Jeremy was holding the binder. It had a sizeable dent on it. "I'm Lance." He nodded his head at Gotham.

"Gotham." Gotham nodded in response, acting chill. He looked at Jeremy and waited for him to talk.

"Did the binder help?" Lance asked, pointing at it.

"A steel plate almost landed on his head," Jeremy said. "I used the binder and...and that's how I met Gotham. Just like you said."

"Wow!" Lance frowned. "Your breath smells like cum." He had a bottle of mouthwash on his desk and handed it to Jeremy.

"Sorry." Jeremy blushed and took the mouthwash. He swished a capful in his mouth, handing the bottle to Gotham. He grabbed an empty cup from his desk and spat the liquid into it. Gotham did the same.

"We don't know each other, do we?" Gotham asked Lance.

"I don't think so," Lance replied.

"Then how did you know what you told me about him?" Jeremy asked, noticing the web page on Lance's screen.

"It's just a silly parlour trick I do." This was how Lance would explain it to anyone wanting to know the truth. "There were circus people in my family. Magicians, mediums, fortune-tellers. Stuff like that. So I learned from the best." Of course, none of this was true but it would help explain things to anyone with questions while also explaining nothing. He had many prepared answers ready to go when needed.

"The Clairvoyant Matchmaker?" Gotham said, also noticing the web page. "Your trusted alternative to dating apps?"

"Yes," Lance replied, turning to face the screen. "I need to make some money to pay the rent and buy food. You know, things that matter. I hope this matchmaking service, which I'm marketing as entertainment to be honest, will help pay some of the bills. I don't know how it'll go. But there's a testimonial section and people can give an anonymous review."

Lance turned to face them, studying their reactions.

"What do you say?" he continued. "Are you dating now? Want to leave a review?"

"But how did you know I wanted to fuck him?" Jeremy asked.

"You talk in your sleep," Lance said. "Did you know that?"

"Uh, no," Jeremy answered. He realized it made a bit of sense and worried that he might be revealing too much during his sleep.

"What about me?" Gotham asked. "How could you know that about me when we've never met each other?"

"I'm a people watcher, boys." Lance spoke with authority to mask some dishonesty. It was a performance he had been rehearsing for some time now. So many layers of rational explanations were needed so he wouldn't be burned at the stake. "I spent some time at the Clock Tower and that's when I noticed you, Gotham, staring at Jeremy's crotch and Jeremy didn't notice a thing. I asked some guy who you were and he told me. Okay? I don't want to say it's a con but I notice all kinds of things that helped me bring the two of you together. I have a talent and now a website to exploit that talent." He winked at them both.

Jeremy and Gotham looked at each other.

"Damn," Gotham said. "I guess it is a parlour trick. And it worked." He took Jeremy's hand in his and squeezed it. "All right then. I'll leave a comment without my name."

"I guess I will, too," Jeremy said. "How much are you charging?"

"A hundred bucks for a one-hour consultation."

"That's a bit pricey, isn't it?"

"You can't put a price on love, Jer. And the first consultation's free. I'll hook `em with that."

"Well this is gonna be a very interesting year," Gotham said.

"Yes it will," Lance sighed. He was looking forward to it.