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CHAPTER SIX: STORIES AND DECISIONS
Sean and I hung out and he ask me everything he could think of and I answered some of it. A thought occurred to me that he was pumping me for all of this information so he could like broadcast it to the whole school but he was being just as forthcoming about things.
Like when he was 5 he got bitten by a snake and was in the hospital for a week. When he was 10 he fell off his bike and broke his leg. I told him I had broken my arm at the same age. He grinned and said we were some sort of cosmic twins or something.
He was scared of the dark until he was 11, and thunderstorms freak him out still. He told me about the day a few years ago when his brother had told him he was gay and in love with his oldest friend, and that he had hugged him and told him that he loved him no matter what. He also encouraged him to do something about it. He just had no idea that just 2 weeks later he would do something about it in such a spectacular way. I asked what that was and he said that was a story for another day.
What struck me the most about Sean and made me like him was that he spoke of his brother with such love and pride. Again I was jealous that I didn't have a brother like him, as I knew my own brothers wouldn't treat me that way were they to found out about me.
A bit later he laid across my bed seductively and ask me if that gave me any ideas. I told him yeah. He asked what and I told him with a sinister smile it gave me the idea to light that bed on fire with him still in it. He promptly got up.
I let him meet my sisters. Cara loved him. Carly fixed him with a glare and asked where was Bear. They also had been missing my friends. They liked Liberty because she also could tell them apart even when they were matching and because she herself had an identical twin. They liked Jessica because she always brought them candy, even when my mom read her the riot act for doing so. They loved Bear. I sometimes wonder if maybe they loved Bear so much because I did, and they were sort of in tune with my feelings. He saw Calvin and I swear where he had been smiling and bright only seconds before his features turned cold as he looked at him. I guess I hadn't been as convincing as I had thought, and he had correctly sussed out the real reason I had asked if Calvin knew about Marcus. He covered it up for the most part but I could still see it. I didn't know how I felt about that.
He met my mom, and unlike dad she was her usual bubbly self when meeting new people. She invited him to have dinner and he happily accepted even though I could tell that dad wasn't too keen on the idea. Veronica came over about 9 to pick him up and she meet my parents. As I looked at her with new information I did see a resemblance between them and I saw her eyes were indeed a mix of green and blue and wondered where the blue came from. My parents must have wondered the same thing and she was able to tell because she explained that through some weird genetic trait her dad's eyes were blue and since her mother had green eyes, they combined to create hers. They left about 10 minutes later.
It was Thursday and I was headed to my locker, when I turned the corner and saw Bear talking to Miriam. That was weird as I can't remember then ever talking except at Sean's party. Bear look up from her and saw me and my heart stuttered as the look in his eyes was so sad. Even more so than any other time I had seen him. Miriam followed his gaze and saw me. I took a step back and the look on his face deepened. Miriam however looked so disappointed in me. I couldn't bare the looks.
I quickly turned and left and ran smack dab into Sean. He also looked at me with that same disappointed look that Miriam did. He grabbed my arm and lead me down the hall away from them. When we had some privacy he started talking
"You're coming home with me" he said firmly.
"What" I asked.
"No questions just listen. I have practice today but after practice you will follow me to my house" he said.
"Why?" I asked wondering what was up with this attitude. "Never mind, It doesn't matter. I can't because I have to be home to let my brother in and stay wit him until my mom gets home" I told him which was true.
"He's 13. You're telling me he can't stay at home alone for a while" he said. His brother was probably allowed to do so but we were different. He looked at me and I guess he changed his mind. "Okay, when your mom gets home, call me then come over to my house" he said.
"Why" I asked again.
"Just come. It's another day" he said before he left me.
I went home after school and waited for my brother and mom and told her I was headed over to Sean's place. She asked about my homework and I told her I was finished. I finished my homework fast. My brothers and my friends were jealous I knew of the scholastic aptitude. I'm not gloating, it's fact.
Anyway I got in my car and headed for Sean's house. Before I got there I stopped and pulled over. I couldn't believe I could be so stupid as to not consider this. Consider that Sean probably had my friends at his house waiting for me. He had expressed a number of times that he thought I should make up with my friends. As I thought about this I remembered that his original plan was for me to follow him home and Bear would have still been at school or leaving at the same time so maybe he wasn't setting me up again.
I started back toward his house. When I got there I other than Sean's car didn't see any car other than one I had never seen before. Not Bear's truck, not Liberty's Saab, not Jessica's dad's Challenger which she drove sometimes when she wasn't with Liberty since she didn't have a car yet and she didn't like to drive her mom's Oldsmobile.
I got out and headed for the door. I rang the doorbell and a really beautiful man answered the door. This dude out-prettied Drake. He has short-cropped black hair and weirdly icy blue eyes. I said I was there to see Sean and he smiled a dazzling smile and said his name was Wayne and I immediately saw one of the reasons Marcus must loved him.
"Come on in, Sean told us he was expecting you. He's upstairs at the moment but he'll be down in a few minutes" Wayne said.
"Yeah" I said after I recovered.
I followed him into the informal living room and Marcus was there leaning against the mantle like Lord of the Manor. This man was the epitome of strength and control. He fixed with that strong green gaze and I forgot my name for a minute. Marcus was definitely all man. At about 6'3 and 200 pounds he was about the same size as Sean but he had this... I don't know I couldn't describe it. Bear had it too whatever it was much stronger with Marcus. Maybe that was because he was an adult.
"Hey Trey, nice to meet you" Marcus said as he came toward me and offered his big hand. It wasn't as big as Bear's but it was big enough. He shook my hand and I was ashamed of my thoughts as he held my hand in that strong grip. He had grown a full beard since the last time I saw him. His was slightly lighter than Bear's beard though.
He let me go and stepped back and looked me over appraisingly. I guess he saw something he liked because he smiled.
"Uh, thanks" I said shyly. Marcus' smile grew a bit.
"Marcus, stop it" Wayne said in a humorous voice.
"Stop what" Marcus asked.
"You know what. That Marcus way you have of looking at people that makes all the gay boys wanna jump your bones" Wayne said jokingly.
"Or one bone in particular" Sean added entering the room with a smirk. He was in a pair of sweats and a tank top. He was hot, but he wasn't doing it for me like before. Especially with his brother standing right here.
"I-I don't wanna jump his bone, er I mean bones" I said flustered.
"No, you make like to window show, but there's only one bone you wanna jump" Sean said and I wanted to kick him in the nuts. They must have seen this on my face because they all laughed.
"Don't worry Trey. If Bear weren't Jail Bait and I didn't already have a "bear" of my own I'd be all over him myself" Wayne said with a smile. He was a very beautiful man.
"Yeah don't let Sean give you any shit" Marcus said as he came over and put a large arm across my shoulders. "I bet if Bear asked him to sick his dick that even he would do it" Marcus added.
"I would not... necessarily do it... well not for sure... well if he needed me to... aw shut the hell up Marcus!" Sean said as we all laughed. I kind of wanted to jump Marcus' bone now that I had finally found someone who could trip Sean up.
"Yeah I thought so" Marcus said. "So young Trey, have a seat and tell us how you came to know that you were interesting and not boring like the breeders" Marcus said as he led me to the couch.
He pushed me down gently and I thought he was gonna pull a Sean where he sat next to me real close. I have to admit, I kind of hoped he would. I had been half hard ever since I came into this house. Whenever Marcus touched me or I looked into Wayne's eyes my dick twitched. Damn these hormones of mine. They had come back with a vengeance.
"Hey, I'm not boring, just ask Trey. We were just talking about lesbians rubbing their pussies-" Sean started.
"Sean!" the three of us yelled at him.
"Yeah that'll teach you to make fun of breeders" Sean gloated with a self satisfied grin.
"I'll get you Sean. For that I'm gonna make you watch while Wayne sucks my dick. See how much you wanna breed after that" Marcus countered.
"It wouldn't do anything to me. Wayne is kind of hot anyway so it wouldn't bother me" he said with bravado.
"Ok" Marcus said with an evil grin. "Wayne, get over here" Marcus said unzipping his pants.
The control in his voice was very real and it made me wanna follow Wayne. Wayne stood shook his head with a smile that said these brothers were full of shit. He walked and stood in front of Marcus. Marcus grabbed his shoulders and I looked at Sean and smiled because I could tell all that bravado was fake. It really was fun knowing there was someone who could tame the wild Sean Mellow. It just took extreme measures.
"Wait stop! I don't wanna see that! You crazy bastard. You think I wanna see my brother getting his dick sucked" Sean said kind of panicked.
Marcus and Wayne laughed and I smiled. I'm ashamed to say that I mostly wanted it to happen but it would have been wrong on so many levels. Sean tackled a still laughing Marcus onto the other couch and started beating him with a pillow while he continued laughing.
"Wayne!" I heard from outside the living room. I looked to see Alex Mellow. He had the same hair and eyes as his older brothers and was about the same height as my brother but he looked to be thinner. He would probably have his brothers' height but not their build.
"Hey bro" Wayne said as Alex ran and hugged him hard.
"What's up man. How long are you 2 staying?" he asked excitedly.
"We actually have to talk to mom and dad about that" he said and I wondered what was up.
"Dad huh" Marcus said as he got up. I could see a look in his eyes that said he wasn't too thrilled with Wayne calling his dad "dad". I could understand from his perspective.
"Don't start puppy" Wayne said and I busted out laughing.
"Who you think you're laughing at twinkie" Marcus said with a serious look on his face that quickly morphed into a big smile.
"Twinkie" I asked.
"Yeah, it means you are a twink. A skinny little gay boy" Sean said as he headed over and sat down next to me.
"Trey, you're gay?" Alex asked looking shocked. I saw that Sean looked like he had just screwed up. Marcus and Wayne looked at him but Wayne also looked at Marcus because he had started it with the twinkie comment.
"Yeah he is little man and I think we can agree that this shouldn't leave this house" Marcus said.
"Don't worry Calvin is the last person I would tell" he said. I was curious about something and it came out before I could stop it.
"Why are you friends with him when you have a gay brother, who's married to a dude?" I asked realizing what I was saying and that I was saying it about my own brother.
Sean's look confirmed that he had guessed correctly what I had not said about Calvin. Marcus and Wayne looked shocked.
"Why are you friends with my brother?" he asked.
"It's not the same. I'm the gay one here" I said.
"At first I didn't know. I know what you're thinking, what you all must be thinking now, but he's not that bad. It's only when he's around Zane that he gets bad" Alex said. I was touched that he was defending his friend, especially since said friend was my brother.
"So I take it that Calvin isn't very fond of gays" Marcus said.
"I-" I started, but then that pesky big brother gene kicked. "Alex is right. I think a lot of it is he's parroting our older brother Zane" I said feeling like a heel because to defend one brother I had to sell out the other.
"I'd like to meet this Zane" Marcus said with an edge.
"Puppy" Wayne said in a warning tone. Marcus gave him a look and he seemed to reluctantly back down.
"Tell me about him" Marcus said as he sat down on the sofa across from me. Wayne and Alex sat on either side of him.
"Well" I started not sure I should. "Zane is actually my half brother though I don't think of him in that regard. His mother died when he was 2 and my mom adopted him after she married my dad. He's... well all I'll say is that things happened with him in highschool. I was shocked when I found out. My parents still don't know. He's a junior at Pittsburgh University. That's all I can think of at the time that I think I wanna share" I said finishing up.
"It's plenty" Wayne said reassuringly
"Well" Marcus said. "I'm not gonna judge this guy since I don't even know him but I don't think I wanna meet him. I've been known to be slightly quick-tempered" Marcus said.
"Slightly?!" Sean, Alex, and Wayne said together.
"Shut it" Marcus said.
"Hey little dude, don't you have some homework to do?" Sean asked.
"You trying to get rid of me?" Alex asked in return.
"Yup, the grownups have some things to discuss" Sean said.
"So what are you and Trey gonna do?" he smirked.
"Scram kid" Sean said.
"I'm not a kid" he said as he got up and headed out of the room, but then stopped "Oh Veronica said she needed to talk to you later" he added before leaving.
"Oh how's Ronnie doing these days" Marcus asked.
"I'll tell you later" Sean said. He and Marcus shared a look and I wondered if he wasn't saying anything because someone who wasn't family was in the room or specifically because I was in the room.
"Ok" Marcus said measuredly after a few seconds.
"So Trey, are you gonna ask why I made you come over here? I'm sure with that head of yours you probably stopped on the way here thinking I was setting you up and your friends would be here to ambush you or something" he said with a smirk and I was taken aback that he would know I did just that. He laughed when I looked at him wide-eyed.
"I was wondering why you forced me to come over here, although" I shut up realizing what I was about to say. Damn Sean for being able to read me so soon though.
"Although if you had known Marcus was gonna be here I wouldn't have to force you?" he asked with an amused look on his face, one shared by Marcus and Wayne.
"No" I lied. They were still looking at me with those amused looks. "Jackasses" I muttered.
"Okay, I did have a reason for "forcing" you to come over here. Remember what I told you earlier. It's another day" he said again and again I was confused by what he meant. Then it hit me that he had said that to me when he told me about how Marcus and Wayne got together.
"So you wanna know the story of us" Wayne said.
"So dramatic you are honey" Marcus added and I giggled.
"You love it when I'm dramatic puppy" Wayne said with a loving smile which Marcus returned. Seeing them like that made me long for Bear to look at me like that.
"Okay, where's the puppy come from" I asked amused. I just had to know. Sean and Wayne laughed, but I noticed this time that Marcus didn't look ashamed by it in the least. He seemed proud of the nickname that Wayne had given him I'm sure. I made me again think of... no. That wasn't in the cards.
"It's simple. He likes to give me the puppy dog eyes when he wants something and I just can't refuse him" Wayne spoke fondly of Marcus. I had to admit I probably wouldn't be able to resist him either.
"Okay, enough of that. Get on with your big fat gay love story" Sean quipped.
"Screw you Sean" Marcus said.
"But I'm not Wayne" Sean countered with a smirk
"Keep talking and I'm gonna put my foot up your ass" Marcus threatened half-heartedly
"Again, Not Wayne" Sean said. I was trying my hardest not to laugh at this point.
"He doesn't put his foot up my ass" Wayne said sounding outraged, but I could tell it was for show. "Although sometimes his cock feels like a foot" he said with a wink to Marcus who preened. Sean faked gagged and I swallowed hard. They heard and looked at me with amused looks.
"You like something you heard Trey" Marcus said as he looked at me with a smoldering look that made me squirm in my seat. I actually heard Sean roll his eyes and Wayne mutter "goodness".
"Okay, I do believe Trey wants to hear a story" Wayne said after clearing his throat and I swear subtlely adjusting himself. I could relate because Marcus was that sexy. "Well we met when we were 11 and started Junior High. I remember feeling funny when this big guy sat down next to me and said "Hi I'm Marcus and we're gonna be best friends". I was kind of shy so I just nodded my head. I was definitely for it" Wayne said.
"When I saw this shy kid who was obviously nervous I had to make him my friend. There was something that drew me to him" Marcus added.
"Well from that day on we did almost everything together. Around 15 Marcus started dating but I knew I had no interest in girls. I refused to say what that meant but I also knew that if I didn't at least try I'd look suspicious because guys were talking about girls all the time. So I went out with this girl named Heather. Me and Marcus double dated. He went out with... What was her name" he asked
"Mindy" Marcus answered.
"Yeah I remember now. I used to tease him calling them Marcus and Mindy saying they were made for marriage even though whenever I said that it made me sad for some reason, though I never let on" Wayne said.
"We went out and Mindy was 16 at the time and she was all over me. I was all for it when we alone but for some reason it felt wrong being with Mindy with Wayne there but I managed to put it out of my mind" Marcus said. I could see something in his eyes that looked a bit like guilt.
"Well I tried to make it with Heather but I just couldn't. She finally said loud enough to be heard that she wanted to go for a walk so we could be alone. I could hear Marcus and Mindy from the front seat giggle" Wayne stated.
"We thought they were just trying to get alone to get it on. I was happy for my bud but there was this nagging feeling in my gut. Again I put it out of my mind and got back to Mindy" Marcus said.
"When Heather and I were alone she was quiet for a few minutes. Then she just flat out asked how long had I known I was gay. I was stunned because I strictly refused to acknowledge that I was gay. When she said it though, I just broke down and started crying. I knew my Stepdad wasn't fond of gays and my mother was the perfect wife so whatever he said was the law. She comforted me and made me a deal. See she was from a religious family but she didn't ascribe to it. If I would be her beard, she would be mine. I had never heard the term before but I agreed. She would be my girlfriend in public and I would be the nice respectable gentleman for her parents. Then she could do whatever she wanted" Wayne said.
"I went out with a lot of girls but it never felt right, meanwhile I started to hate Heather. She was always around, always hanging on Wayne, and he looked so happy. I didn't realize what this was I was feeling so I went out with more girls to try and drown it out." Marcus said and I could almost see what he was feeling.
"Well as he said Heather was always around in public. I made sure I looked happy whenever I was around Marcus when Heather was there. A few months before graduation Heather finally confronted me and told me to tell Marcus I was in love with him. I was shocked silent because I had never told her that, nor truly admitted it to myself. After some thinking I finally decided to do it. I wanted until the night before graduation and asked him out to the overlook" Wayne said. I could tell in his voice that something bad was about to be told.
"When he asked me there I knew he was about to tell me something important. I was just happy to hang out with him without Heather around" Marcus added.
"Well I started rambling on and on and finally blurted out that I was gay and in love with him" Wayne said with that look still in his eyes.
"When I heard that I felt something warm in my chest. Then I don't know what happened, but some weird feeling took over. I was angry, pissed. I wanted to be away from him. I guess he saw this because he started babbling and pleading with me to please give him a chance. When he touched my arm, it felt so different from the other times he had touched me with this new information. I got even angrier and pushed him hard. He fell and I saw the hurt look in his eyes and it broke my heart. I wanted to comfort him but instead I let this weird anger take over and I told him in a voice I didn't recognize to stay away from me from now on. To never speak to me again. Little did I know he would" Marcus said voice full of regret.
"I sat there on the ground for hours. I finally called Heather and told her what had happened and she took me home and stayed with me. At graduation we didn't talk and it hurt seeing him with our friends, but I loved him so much that I did what he had demanded." Wayne said.
"My parents wanted to know what had happened between us but I was silent on the subject. We went to the same college, but we didn't see each other that whole first year. When I saw him again I was overcome with this strong feeling to run up and hug him. He saw me and I could see he started to smile but then I guess he had remembered that night. He had such a look of sadness that overtook his face that it broke my heart again. What else I saw made me hate myself. I saw fear. See I had gotten quite a bit larger than when he had seen me last over a year ago. He backed away and left. I was devastated" Marcus said and I could tell that reliving this was hard on them. I started to tell them they didn't have to continue, but Sean gave me a look that said don't.
"I saw him periodically after that. He was always beautiful to me but it seemed that as time went on he got even more devastatingly hot. I also noticed a change in him. He got this serious affect about him as his eyes developed this piercing quality. I was always wary of him after I noticed this. He would see me and I was afraid of him so I would quickly go in the other direction. Well near graduation again Heather who had been my rock throughout those four years told me to grow a pair and tell him again that I loved him. I told her that he didn't love me back and she said that that didn't matter. We would probably never see one another again after graduation and that we should clear the air before then" Wayne said.
"I went through girls in college like they were water and each one was less satisfying than the last until I could barely get it up with them anymore. I started to see Wayne and the way he would run away from me and every time he did I heard my own words come back to me. "Stay away from me from now on. Never talk to me again." Those words hurt every time I saw him and remembered them because I knew he had heard them and that he would do what I asked. By the time graduation rolled around, I was a mess. It was 2 weeks before graduation and my little bro who was all of 14 asked me what was wrong. Said I hadn't been right since before my highschool graduation. I was so tired and I said it. That I missed Wayne, that I missed being close to him. I told him about that night and he was silent for a few minutes" Marcus said and Sean took over.
"I was thinking about what he said and while I was "all of 14" I did realize what the things my brother had said equaled. I asked him did he love Wayne back" Sean said and I was again jealous of these brothers.
"I told him without hesitation that I wanted to be with Wayne. That being separated from him all that time had nearly killed me because it had. I wanted so bad to hold him, to look into those eyes again and for the first time. Sean told me that I had better tell Wayne the truth. To give him my heart and ask for his. He said do it before it was too late. Then he got up and hugged me and said he loved me no matter what, and I had better not let Wayne get away. Well at graduation I was on the platform and Wayne was there trying his best to stay as far away from me as possible. After the names were called and the huge graduating class were on the platform I looked at him and I just couldn't wait any longer. I marched across the platform, grabbed his arm, pulled him to me and kissed him with everything I had" Marcus said with a huge smile on his face.
"When I saw him heading toward me I was scared. I don't know why I thought he was gonna hurt me but somewhere in my mind I did. When he grabbed my arm, I felt this surge of not fear, but overwhelming want from deep within. He dropped those lips I had been dreaming about on me and I about died right there. There was a very audible mass gasp. I opened my eyes and saw Heather giving me the thumbs up with a huge grin. Then I heard Sean and Alex cheering from where they were. I was surprised about Alex as he was just 10 then. It was that silent that I could hear them. I knew I loved them then. That they were my brothers" Wayne said misty-eyed as was I.
"I then heard the little wiseass Sean say loudly "get your asses up and clap for my brother. He just did this huge romantic thing and you just sit there? You are all emotionally dead". As I looked at him I saw my dad slap the back of his head. He looked pissed but mom looked about to cry with this giant smile on her face. I heard clapping and turned to see Heather clapping. Then more people joined her and there was a loud ruckus. There was some who didn't look pleased like the dean of students and the school's president, but I didn't give a damn. I finally had what had been missing for so long" Marcus said still smiling.
"We talked after graduation and told each other our feelings. He proposed to me about 3 months later and we were married 5 months after that" Wayne said also smiling.
"What about your parents?" I asked after getting control of myself.
"Well I haven't heard from them since my stepdad said he wouldn't have any fags around his family. That was the next day after graduation. My little sister Willa who's 19 helps me talk to my 10 year old little brother Marvin. Marvin is his son and he doesn't want me to have anything to do with him and made that clear. Willa is careful though, but I haven't seen him since that day he told me to leave" he said sadly.
"You haven't seen him in over 3 years?" I asked angry at his stepfather and wondering if the same would happen to me.
"Nope. I wasn't able to see Willa either until she graduated highschool and started college. I get to talk to him at least and he keeps asking why I won't come see him. I don't have an answer for him. I can't very well tell him that his dad won't let me come over because I'm a fag" he said bitterly. Marcus hugged him close and he seemed to calm some.
We talked some more with Sean being crazy to lighten the mood which worked. He and Marcus joked around which I saw was like me with my own brothers. It made me think of Bear and how he wasn't close to his own brother but I had no idea what the problem was between him and Brian as he would never tell me. Sean and Marcus joked about the gay thing though and that's where the similarities between the Mellow brothers and the Healey brothers ended. Alex came back after a while and joined in on the joking although the older boys toned down the rancor a bit.
Their parents came home together I saw around 8 and their mother indeed was crazy about Wayne not even paying attention to her own boys before greeting Wayne. I noticed that their dad was a bit stiff when he shook the guys hands but then he seemed to think for a second and then hugged then both together which I saw surprised them.
I was then introduced to Deanne and Dexter Mellow and she was a bubbly lady. She welcomed me in, asked was I staying for dinner which was to be takeout. I declined because I had to be going soon. She then brightened up even more when she learned I was Calvin's brother. Their dad commented on how weird the 4 of us, Me, Sean, Alex and Calvin were. How we lined up and they he thought it was time to meet my parents. Deanne said she already knew mom from her charity thing she did with Bear's mom. He said he didn't know em and that he wanted to meet them sometime soon.
I said sure even though I knew nothing good could come of it when the whole gay married son thing came up. We talked a bit more and I decided that It was time I left. Deanne hugged me and said to come back anytime. Dexter shook my hand and said the same. Alex said to tell Calvin to call him before he went to sleep and I told him okay. Sean, Marcus, and Wayne followed me into the foyer. Wayne hugged me and told me to hang in there that things would work out the way they were meant to.
Marcus hugged me close and said quietly that I needed to believe that I was wanted and that if I was older and he weren't married I wouldn't be able to keep him away. Sean shook his head at the three of us and joked that it took gay dudes way too long to say see you later because of all the hugging and groping which I responded to by shoving him and Marcus saying don't worry he's get him for me.
Me and Sean were outside by my car and I could tell he had something to say. I waited him out thinking he had a purpose for all of this.
"I think you need to talk to Bear. He hasn't been the same since you stopped talking to him. He hasn't been playing good and you know Bear. It's physically impossible for him to play bad football but he has been" he said.
"I can't. You know that" I said.
"Okay, well then what about Liberty and Jessica?" he asked.
"I can't with them either. They will try to fix Bear and me too. They will want to know why I'm staying away from him" I said
"Then tell them" Sean stated.
"I can't" I said whining"
"Why not?" he asked exasperated
"I'm scared" I said after a minute of silence.
"Look, just consider it" he said.
I told him I would as I definitely would. I thanked him for the day and said goodbye. I headed to my car, pulled away from the Mellow residence and headed home.
It was Wednesday almost a week later and I was still thinking about What Sean had said. What I had learned from Marcus and Wayne's story. I couldn't let that story get to me because there were too many terrifying things in it when it came to me. I was walking down the hall at school and I saw Liberty and Drake. Drake walked off looking angry and Liberty didn't look to good herself. Before I could stop myself I was headed in her direction.
"Hey" I said tentatively. She turned to see it was me and started to smile before fixing her face with an aloof look.
"Hey" she said in a disinterested tone.
"I know I'm a jerk, an idiot, a heel, a bastard... Aren't you gonna stop me? I asked.
"I will when I think you have said enough. What the hell Trey. You stop talking to us, do your best to ignore us, your best friends and for what" she said and I felt like dirt.
"You know why" I said trying to cling to my reasons.
"Yeah yeah yeah, I heard all that bullshit before which coincidentally didn't stop you from becoming BFFs with Sean fucking Mellow" she said pissed off.
"I'm not BFFs with him" I said trying to defend myself.
"Well you could have fooled me. Every time we saw you over these few weeks he hasn't been far behind. Do you know what this is doing to Bear. You are his best friend Trey, his brother, and you drop him like this" she said not holding back.
"I know. I know" I said losing the will the fight back.
"Okay so you know. What are you going to do about" she demanded. I did the first thing that came to me. I hugged her tight. She resisted at first then she hugged me back.
"I'm sorry. I was just so mixed up about things. You guys just don't know how things are for me. I know that you all don't think I should but I have a problem with the way people see me. I feel like I don't belong" I said letting out some of the things I had been feeling for years.
"Boo Boo, you know that you always belong to us. We're a family" she said and hugged me again.
We talked for a few more minutes then we had to get to class so she said she'd see me later. I guess I had patched things up with Liberty and with that I made a decision. I would fix things with Jessica too and then if things went well with her I would see with Bear. Things with him were more difficult though.
Here I was outside Jessica's house later that night and I was nervous. I was nervous that she wouldn't forgive me as easily as Liberty had. I decided that there was no time like the present to do this. I got out and trudged up to the door and rang the bell. Jessica's brother Wally answered the door.
"Trey, long time no see. What are you doing here" he said. He was such a little smartass.
"I'm here to see Jessica" I said
"Why, you got rid of her, why take her back" he asked. See.
"Just get Jessica for me please" I asked annoyed.
"Tsk, ok. Not my problem if you wanna be bored to death by looking at her" he said before yelling for Jessica. She showed up and smacked his back. She then saw me and fixed me with a cold glare.
"What do you want" she said coldly.
"See, what did I tell ya" Wally said.
"Would you get your ass out of here" Jessica snapped.
"Moooom! Jessica said ass to me" Wally said going back inside. I heard Jessica's mom call out and warn her not to do it again and Jessica responded be rolling her eyes.
"Hey Jess" I said more confidently that I felt.
"So you finally pulled your head outta your ass and decided to come to see me" she spat. Okay, this wasn't going good.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a major ass and a jerk. I'm sorry for cutting you guys off. I'm sorry for thinking that our friendship wasn't enough to overcome my insecurities. Most of all, I'm sorry for ignoring you all when you've always been there for me" I said. I waited the few minutes she was silent.
"Well damn. You took all my thunder. I guess I gotta forgive you now huh" she asked
"You don't have to. I'll understand if you don't. I'll certainly deserve it" I said sadly.
"Oh Trey, why do you do that? Why do you think so little of yourself" she asked as she hugged me.
"I don't know" I answered because I didn't know why I felt this way. No one really made me feel less than. I guess it was a product of my own mind. She pulled back and looked at me.
"Trey, I love you and I always will. I will love you no matter what. I'll love you no matter who you love so please stop thinking you are undeserving of attention, of love and affection" she said and I was happy but then something she said struck me as strange.
"What do you mean no matter who I love" I asked carefully.
She looked at me for about a minute and said "Bear. I know, I know you love him".
"Of-of course I love him. He's my best friend" I said on guard.
"Well then you are in love with you best friend" she said amused.
"What... I..." I tried to talk.
"Trey, it's okay. I don't care" she said simply. I again made a decision to just tell the truth.
"How did you know. Am I that obvious. First Sean and now you" I said perhaps saying too much.
"Wait, Sean knows. Since when" she asked.
"Over a week now" I added.
"Well, I don't know how to feel about this. Wait, does Liberty know?" she asked.
"No!" I said kind of loudly.
"Well that makes me feel better then. To answer your question no. You are not obvious. I just noticed some things that I think others haven't paid attention to. One thing I will say though is that while they may not make the Bear connection, if you don't get rid of that Stephen Amell poster 'above your bed', people will at least suspect that you are gay. I'll take it if you want" she said and my face heated.
"Screw you" I said.
"But I'm a girl and you aren't into us" she teased.
We sat down on the bench on her porch and we teased back and forth. I asked how she knew and she said that she had known for a while. I then asked why she had asked if I had a date to Sean's party. She then said that she had never asked if I had a date with a girl, just a date. She then said that's why she had gotten Billy to dance with us because she had heard some things which turned out to be false as she could attest she said this while waggling her eyebrows.
She asked was I gonna tell Bear and I said no. She then said I didn't have to tell him I was in love with him, just that I was gay. I said I couldn't risk losing him and she pointed out that I had already lost him because I had tossed him away. She told me what Sean had. That Bear wasn't doing good on the team which made me curious because for as long as he had been into football Bear had been good.
We talked for a bit longer and she said she would be on the lookout for some hot gay guys at school because I surely wasn't the only one. I hugged her and left for home
BEAR'S POV
I was down. I was out. I was pissed and I was sad. Things had not been going well for me for the last 3 weeks. Every since Trey had made the stupid boneheaded decision to end our friendship I couldn't focus. I talked to Miriam and she said that she was trying to get to him but he was resistant. She told me to hang in there and Trey would come around.
I felt out of sorts. Even when I was at football camp this past summer we talked every few days if only for a few minutes. This though was hell. I missed talking to him. I wasn't doing good on the field because I couldn't focus. We had barely won this game tonight but almost lost because of me. I had just finished getting chewed out by coach and I was thoroughly whipped.
I was keeping myself busy by dating, and by dating I mean sex. My first choice was Veronica but when I asked her out she said she couldn't. I couldn't understand it. No girl had never turned me down before and I knew she wasn't dating anyone. She spent a lot of time with Sean but he was her cousin and unless they were kissing cousins there was nothing there.
I asked her why and she said she didn't think she should. I asked her why and she said I'd see soon hopefully. She then kissed my cheek and left me. I was confused but I was so mad with Trey that I needed something to take my mind off of things. I went out with several girls and the sex was good for the most part but something was wrong now. I couldn't get the same satisfaction as I did once from sex. That was just the way things were gonna have to be I guess.
"Hey dude" Sean said as he came to stand in front of me without a stitch of clothing on. I checked him out and saw that he was alright looking I guess for a guy but I wasn't really interested in it so it didn't matter to me. I did take some thrill in that he was a little bit smaller than me it looked like.
"You wanna put some clothes on and stop waving that thing in my face. I ain't interested" I said not liking how foul my mood sounded"
"Wow, what crawled up your ass" he said as he got a towel from his locker.
"I'm not in the mood Sean" I said still not liking the `tude.
"Okay, let me guess does out little friend Trey have anything to do with you biting my head off" he said.
"You mean you little friend. He cut me off remember" I snapped.
"Bear, dude" Sean started.
"I miss him so much. Why would he do this. We've been together almost all our lives and he pulls this shit. Why? I need to talk to him so bad about this but I can't because he is this. Why can't he see how much I need him?" I asked realizing I was pleading with Sean. He looked at me for a couple minutes with a weird look on his face but I couldn't figure it out.
"Bear, do you think that maybe..." he said but drifted off.
"Maybe what" I asked getting frustrated. He looked at me again for about a minute in silence.
"Nothing. Don't worry about it" Sean said as he started putting on his clothes.
"If you're sure" I said. As I was already dressed I get up to head home but Sean stopped me.
"I'm having a get together at the house tomorrow if you wanna come by. Nothing major just a few people" he said as I passed him.
"I'll let you know" I said as I dragged out of the locker room. I was dead tired and not in any mood for anything else tonight.
TREY'S POV
I decided to do some recon on Bear as I sadly hadn't been to a single one of the games this season and that was a first as I was always there in the past. I was Bear's biggest cheerleader though I was sure to disguise my enthusiasm so as not to attract attention to myself. This though didn't seem to work on Jessica or Sean as they had figured me out.
I went to the game Friday and sat with Liberty, Jessica and Veronica. I watched as Bear bumbled around the field like he was a fucking newbie. It was embarrassing. It was sad. It was all my fault. I had always been Bear's biggest supporter. He always was better at something if he had my approval. I knew this. I hadn't been to a single game this season and because I hadn't been there he didn't feel my support and he had turned into... this. I know I make myself sound so important but I am simply stating what I had observed about Bear.
After the game which they almost lost because of Bear I had made up my mind. I couldn't stand to see him like this. I had to talk to him even if just to ease his mind. I would suffer if it made him happy. I would be his best friend and settle for that. At least I would have him in some way.
I was waiting at my car when he came dragging out of school looking like he had been to battle and lost. He saw me and I saw the life come back to his eyes as he stopped. I guess he was wondering if I would run. I wasn't planning to run. I was here to help him. I was here to be the friend I had failed to be the last 3 weeks. I got up and headed toward him and I could tell he was tense.
"Hey Bear" I said. I was surprised by how strong I sounded.
"Hey Trey" he said. I was surprised by how unsure he sounded.
"Bear... I'm such a bastard. I- I'm sorry" I said.
"Why Trey? Tell me the truth and not this whole you don't fit thing cause I know-" he was saying but I interrupted. I had to stop him before my traitorous heart took over.
"That is it Bear. You all just didn't see but I didn't feel like I belonged with you all. It was nothing you all did, well most of you anyway. I couldn't help it. I can't help it. Maybe I'm just not wired right" I said. Maybe I was wired wrong. It would explain the whole gay thing.
"Trey, no" Bear said as he stepped up and grabbed my arms in his huge hands. "You are not wired wrong. You are just who you are and I love you just like that. You are my best friend even when you're being an idiot and ignoring me and avoiding me" he said and I wanted so much for the courage to right then tell him the whole truth, but the courage eluded me that night.
"I'm so sorry I treated you like this Bear, I'm sorry I hurt you. I would rather die than hurt you" I said as felt myself tearing up.
He grabbed me and hugged me tight. Those strong arms made me feel safe and protected. If only he could feel for me what I felt for him. No! I was gonna be content being his best friend. That would have to be enough until I met someone else that made me feel what I felt for Bear.
We broke up the hug with only slight awkwardness. We did like most guys did and playfully punched each other in the shoulder to break up the awkwardness and tension. We joked a bit and put things back in order. It felt good being near him again. Hearing his voice, his deep laugh. Looking into those beautiful blue eyes. His gorgeous smile. All of it. I made myself a promise that I would indeed content myself with just being Bear's best friend. I hoped I could pull it off, but as we sat there and made plans to go to Sean's house the next day I couldn't help but recall Marcus and Wayne's story...
To be continued.....
So Trey has started to patch things up with his friends. Will things fall back into place? What about Drake? Will Trey make a big to do about him?
What was Sean's purpose for Trey to hear the Story of Marcus and Wayne? Will Marcus and Zane have a face-off in the future?
So Jessica, like Sean already knew about Trey. How long will if be before Liberty and Trey's family find out? Where the hell is Justice? Stay tuned.
I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Something very interesting happens next chapter so be warned. I wont be saying if it's good or bad but just interesting. Send any comments good or bad to thestoryguy9783@gmail.com