This story is fiction, but the characters are firmly rooted in my personal history. The speedo mannequins are real, and the guys live in my loft.
When I booked a small place in the mountains I expected it to be rustic and quaint. To my surprise, it was a well fitted-out home with a pool. It was secluded enough so that bathing suits would definitely be optional, but only a couple of friends had said they might make the trip, so I thought I would just have some personal sun time.
I went into town to get some groceries and took a look into some of the shops. At the far end there was an old barn that advertised "Antique Shop," but junk shop might have been a better name. But that's the way I like find stuff, so I took a wander in. There seemed to be a lot of inventory buy-outs and remainders, with everything stacked and dusty. I glanced into a little side room that must have been a tack room, and I noticed that it seemed to be a little tidier than the rest of the place.
What caught my eye first was a row of three mannequins. They weren't full bodies, just three midsections that might have displayed men's underwear. In this case, they were wearing skimpy speedos in three faded shades of red, white, and blue. There was also a stack of boxed suits in other colors and sizes, I imagined. As I looked around, I realized that I had stumbled into a little nest. Someone was in the habit of getting comfortable in here.
That sealed the deal for me, and I went out front hoping that the price would not be beyond my budget. "Twenty for the mannequins?" I asked.
"Make it ten each and you have a deal." the old guy replied.
"And the boxes that go with them?" I added.
"Sold!" As I was turning over the quick deal in my head, I doubted that that cozy little spot had been his. Then as if he had read my thoughts, the old geezer said "Charlie is gonna miss them. He gave `em names and everything."
"Charlie?" I asked.
"The kid who does the heavy lifting for me. I give him a few bucks to move stuff in and out. Lives up the street."
"Well, I have to get some groceries and my car. I'll be back in an hour. If he wants to say goodbye there's time." I did not want to speculate what form that parting might take so I paid my thirty bucks and repeated that I would be back in an hour or so.
When I got back, there was no sign of Charlie and no indication by the geezer that he was going to help me load the guys, as I had already taken to calling them, into the car. So I went back to the cozy nook and brought one out, the one wearing red, and settled it in to the back of my suv. No sooner had I put it down than a voice behind me sighed and said "You bought them? I turned to see who spoke, and was met by a sad-face young man who could have been eighteen, maybe more, maybe less.
"I'm the one." I said apologetically. "They just seemed to speak to me."
"That's funny" he said "They speak to me too, and sometimes we all talk. Some days they are the only people I talk to at all."
"You must be Charlie." I said, holding out a hand. "I'm Roger." We shook. With a wry smile he went on.
"You must think that's weird, me talkin' to them. They don't even have heads." I looked him straight in the eye.
"Not weird at all. Remember, you're talking to the guy who bought them. I'm already calling them `the guys' "
"They have names" he said. Somehow, I was not surprised. "That's Max. The other two are Dick and Pete."
"Can you give me a hand getting them into the car?" I asked, and he shrugged a sad "Sure." We went into the back room and picked up the the other two boys. I gestured to the stack of boxes and said "I bought those, too." Another sad glance told me that this little nook had been a real comfort zone for Charlie, so I took a chance. "Any of them fit you?" This time the glance was a piercing look straight into my eyes. I think he was trying to decide if I could be trusted with his darkest secret. His reply was nearly audible.
"Yes."
"Then it's yours" I replied, and I was rewarded to a grateful smile.
"Thank you." He picked up a box from the back of the display that I had not noticed. It wasn't dusty, and it opened easily. He tucked the flimsy white nylon into his pocket and started to toss the box away. "No, I said" I'll keep the empty." He put it back on top of the stack and we finished our loading.
As I nestled them into the car, I lined up the boys as if they were standing in line, with frontside bumping into backsides. "they like that" said Charlie and we both smiled. "What will you do with them?" he asked.
"Well, the place I'm renting has a pool, and they are dressed to swim, so maybe I'll line them up as if the were about to jump in. "Would you like to join them?" another risk. Another long look told me that he was considering it.
"Where are you staying?" I told him, and he nodded that he knew where it was. "I've got a little work to do for Mr. Jensen" who I took to be the geezer. "I'll bike up later, if that's ok."
"Great!" I said. I'll leave them in the car and you can help me unload em and line em up." We shook again, and I don't think it was my imagination that made this time more lingering and warm than the first time our hands met. He went back into the barn and I went back to the cabin, wondering what might happen next.
From a distance, I saw Charlie stop at the end of the driveway, but i didn't think he saw me. He paused, probably thinking this over, but then started walking his bike up the driveway. I busied myself with something in the yard so that he could announce himself when he was ready. I wanted this to be as low key as possible. I heard him lean his bike against the fence, and the creak of the gate let me know he was coming in. I turned around with a smile, and was greeted with a similar, if shy, smile. "Hi Charlie, I'm glad you decided to help me with the boys."
We shook again, and as we turned to walk over to the car, I put a gentle hand on his shoulder. He didn't flinch, in fact, he seemed to lean in a bit. I opened the back of the car, and there they were, Max, Dick , and Peter. "Hi guys" Charlie whispered quietly. "I hope you'll like livin' with Roger. He's a nice guy. We each picked up one and walked around to the pool. We set them up near the edge and then went back for the third and the boxes of suits. I wasn't sure what I would do with those, I hadn't even looked to see if one might fit me.
When we had arranged the boys I offered Charlie a coke or a beer. He went for the beer. After he had sipped on the beer a while I I took the next step. "Swim?" He sipped on the beer a while and finally said "Sure."
"The bathroom is just inside the door to the left, and there are towels on the shelf, take any one you like. He went in and came back out a few minutes later.He was still wearing his tee shirt, and had a towel wrapped around his waist. He sat back down in his lounger, warming in the sun. Finally he spoke. "I've never done this before. Come to someone's house, I mean, and..." He drifted off a little, not finishing what he started.
"Charlie, you're just going for a swim at a new friend's house." We would take this very slow.
"And there's something else." another pause. "No one has seen me in this bathing suit like this. At the beach, usually I wear cutoffs. But with the guys, well..." then with some resolve he stood up, stripped the tee shirt up and over his head and peeled off the towel. He stood quietly for a very long moment while my eyes feasted on the sight in front of me and then jumped into the pool. He had chosen a white speedo which, up against his white skin, gave him a look of white-on-white tan lines. He had hardly any tan at all, which wasn't surprising given that he probably spent a lot of time in the barn. He swam back and forth a few times and did a few torpedo runs underwater. His slim body cut through the water like a porpoise. The he finally slowed down, he came over to the edge near my chair." This is really nice" he said, "I see why racers wear them, the speedo, I mean. It's almost like being naked."
"Well, that's ok too" I said.
"Not just yet" he winked, and he pushed off the edge, backstroking across the pool and back to the edge.
"You're a good swimmer. You have the body for it."
"I went to camp every Summer. We did a lot of swimming and sailing."
"Why did you stop?"
"Well, I kinda aged out of it. I could have been a counselor when I turned 17, but I wanted a better job. Now I'm 18 and I do odd jobs for old folks. Not exactly a good career choice." He drifted off a bit. "But I did get to meet the boys." And he looked over at the speedo trio in their red white and blue.
"What do you all talk about?"
"To be honest, I did most of the talking, but they were real good listeners. They helped me understand myself. When I first met them I liked them right away. Mr Jensen told me to put them in the old closet because no one would ever buy them. But as soon as I picked up the one in red, that's Max, I knew." I wanted to ask what, but it was better to wait. It would all come out eventually. "When I picked up Max, I grabbed his ass and... his balls. Well, he doesn't really have any balls, just a bulge. But I liked the feel of both. I did the same with the other guys too. I tried to make them comfortable in the closet, and made a space for myself too. T
hen one day I was talking and thought to put on one of the speedos, just like them. I was already wearing shorts, so I just slipped them off and did it. I think maybe it's a little too big but anyway, I stood next to them to see if my bulge looked like theirs." He stopped. Maybe he thought he had said too much. He got out of the pool and wrapped the towel around his waist and sat down on the chair next to mine.
I knew it was my turn to talk, so I asked him if he had any real people he could talk to, and he said that until today, there was no one. I figured that meant I was the only one. I felt like I needed to say more, so I decided to go back to an event that was very important to me. I had been feeling some mixed emotions about dating girls, basically, not getting it. My mom's youngest brother had come come up to the family lake house for the July 4th weekend. He and I had always had a good connection. My mom practically raised him, so we were a lot alike.
On hot summer nights, we would go skinny dipping off the dock just before we went to bed. Tonight it was just Uncle Rob and me. We walked down without even a flashlight, the moon was so bright. We stepped up onto the edge of the dock and stripped, just shorts and tees and jockeys that came off fast. I noticed that Uncle Rob had a dark brush of hair across his chest and it made a path all the way down to the dark triangle below. I wondered if i would have that too. He headed down to the end of the dock and I walked behind him. In the moonlight, I could see the white globes of his ass shifting slightly as he walked. I was horrified to feel that i was getting a boner, so I ran past him and jumped in.
We swam and joked around a bit, and thankfully the cool water calmed me down so that when I climbed up the ladder I was ok. We got our towels and sat where we had undressed. It was really quiet. As we sat, I could feel the warmth of his body. Our shoulders were touching, and our thighs too. I felt that boner start again and I pulled the towel off my shoulders into my lap.
"Uncle Rob, there's something wrong with me." I said quietly.
"How so?" he answered.
"I just don't get it about girls." It was quiet a long time and then he rested his hand on my thigh. It felt like an electric shock went right to my boner!
"No girlfriend?" he asked.
"No interest" I said. "All the guys are talking about kissing and I don't even want to." I didn't want him to know I had a boner, but at the same time i hoped he might touch it. "What's wrong with me?
"Nothing's wrong Roger, you're just wired a little differently." there was another silence. "Never kissed a girl? Try this." He turned my head to face him, and put his lips on mine. "How was that?"
"Warm" I whispered.
"Then try this." This time his lips opened and I felt his tongue lick mine. My tongue edged out to meet his and very quickly were locked together.
I didn't want to give Charlie the whole story, or anything about what happened after that. So I just said "Charlie, when I was about your age a man that I loved and trusted kissed me. He helped me understand that there was nothing wrong with me. As he said, I was just wired a little differently than most boys. I didn't like girls, I liked boys."
"Do you think that I'm like that?" Charlie asked.
"Charlie, I have known you for" I glanced at my watch, "about four hours. I know that you are a sensitive, thoughtful and imaginative boy. I can't know how you are different, or even if you are different. I know you are struggling with some perceptions of your self, and maybe of others. But it would be wrong of me to give you advice based on our short time together."
"So you think I'm weird " he said miserably.
"No Charlie No! I think you are a wonderful young man who is struggling with some issues.... Well, ok, gay issues. Are you afraid you're gay, or excited that you are? In this small town that could be problem, but in any big city, you could fit right in.
Then I did what I had decided not to do. I kissed him just as Uncle Rob had kissed me, just on the lips. He didn't recoil in horror or disgust so I asked him "How was that?" He replied just as I had to Uncle Rob.
"Warm" he whispered. So I kissed him again, and this time, added a little tongue. I didn't push in, I just touched his lips to let him know that there was more to a kiss than just lips meeting. He had just started to open up when I pulled away again. "Well?"
"Oh my God" And this time it was his turn to lean in and touch his lips to mine and my turn to receive his tongue's gentle exploration. We were standing now, just outside the kitchen door. It was getting pretty hot and heavy, with hands roaming and tongues tasting. I had to pull away before we did something we might regret later.
"Charlie, we have to slow down a little. Take a deep breath or maybe ten, and try to process what is happening. I think I have ignited something in you that you have struggled with, and I want you to have some perspective on the decision you are making. I don't want you to think I'm pushing you, or that you don't have some choices here." He gave me a hurt puppy look. "No! I am not pushing you away! I want you to take some time to think about where you are headed, and where we might be headed. You have my cell number. Call me. Text me. Think. Then we will see where this goes."
"You're kicking me out?!" Hurt puppy again.
"No, Charlie, I just want you to stop and think. You can stay and we can talk. I'm a good listener. But when you are talked out, you have to go home. No more kissing this afternoon. I need to know you are making a thoughtful choice." So talk we did, all afternoon. I learned about his life, that he lived with his mom after his dad left, about his bullied high school years, his small town fears about life in the big city, his concerns for his mom alone. He spilled it all out, sometimes tears, sometimes anger. But this lad was a thinker. He tried to be strong and figure out where his life was headed, but the gay thing really had him, well, by the balls. He didn't know what to do.
It was going to be dark soon, and I wanted him to be home with his mom. I didn't want her to worry, and me neither, about him on his bike in the dark. "Charlie, it's time for you to go. Take tomorrow to think and then come back and we can talk more. As much as you want, as long as you want. I want what you decide to be right for you. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and of course he went right for my lips. I gave him a few long moments of that and then pulled apart. "Charlie, you are the best tasting boy I have ever kissed, and I want more, but not now. Go. Think. Maybe even pray. Call me tomorrow" And with that, I urged this beautiful boy out the door and down the road.
That night, I had a raging hard-on all evening, but I refused to cheapen the images of Charlie with a quick jerk off. And all the next day, when he didn't call or text, I kicked myself for letting such a hot twink get away. And the day after, when I hadn't heard, I decided that it had all been a big mistake, and wondered if the police would show up to arrest me. *Fuck * `em I thought, and I stripped down to get some morning sun in the nude. I settled down on the sun bed and let the sun beat down on me. The heat dissolved some of my anger and disappointment and I began to resolve some of the unpleasant thoughts of the past few hours. Then I got a text. Can I come up for a swim? And of course I sent a big YES right back. But I really thought that he was coming up to say that it had all been a mistake and understanding, and don't ever bother me again.
So Imagine my surprise when a minute later my sunny interlude was interrupted by "Incoming!!" and a huge splash. I had just been cannonballed! I had assumed that he was home, or in the village when he texted, but he must have been in my driveway. He swam over to the side of the pool where my now-drenched naked body was trying to recover from the shock, and said "Hi!" with the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face. "Did you give up on me?" he asked.
"No" I lied. Well, no, I always had hope.
"I did what you said, and I thought, and prayed, and I talked to my mom. And you you know what she said? She said, no matter what, Charlie, I will always love you. But I do have a problem Roger. When I came up to talk to you this morning I came around the corner and saw that you were naked and the same thing happened to me that has been bothering me since I left you on Saturday afternoon.
He pushed off the edge of the pool and glided over to the steps. He got his feet under him and took each step slowly. I watched, expecting to see the delicious sight of his transparent white speedo clinging to the crevasse between the twin globes of his ass. But there was no speedo. He was naked! And when he got to the top of the steps, he turned, revealing a spectacular erection. Smooth and pink, with just a little upturn. "Every time I think of you, Roger, I get this."