I can't remember a time when I didn't know that I was gay. Before I knew the first fact about sex, or the biology of it, or the joy of it, or the pain of it, I knew that I wanted to `play' with boys, and that girls were just one big pain in the ass.
I went to the neighborhood elementary school from pre-K to sixth grade, but when it was time to enter middle school my parents made a big decision. I realize now that it was a big sacrifice for them because we weren't exactly rolling in dough. They enrolled me in a private prep school. It helped that I am an only child or else they probably could not have afforded the school.
The school did not provide bus service, and the city transportation schedule was inconvenient, so my parents sought out other families in our neighborhood who had kids attending Washington Irving Preparatory School. They got together with three other families and hired a cab to take me and the other three students back and forth to school every day. I couldn't have been more delighted. The school was an all boys' school and every day I would get to sit in close proximity to three other boys in the cab. All summer long, I whacked off fantasizing that my cab pool had at least one boy who would like me and want to `play' with me.
It just so happened that because of geography, I was the last kid picked up every day and the first dropped off. When I got picked up and settled in the cab the first day, I introduced myself and then the others introduced themselves to each other. It seems that before I climbed aboard nobody else had bothered to give their names.
We were all seventh graders and it was our first year to attend the prep school, which might account for the initial shyness. Be that as it may, the boys were Tommy Morton, a pimply faced scrawny bean pole, George Goode, an obese, unkempt monster, and Gary Garvin, with whom I fell instantly in love.
Gary was an athlete, built solid, already muscular. He was beginning to show signs of growing a mustache. His hair was curly and black and his eyes were blue, almost violet. I had never seen such long eyelashes on a boy before and I am afraid I found myself staring at him, which definitely made him uncomfortable.
"Is anything wrong?" he asked me waking me from my reverie.
"No," I said and directed my attention to the activity in the streets. After that I made a really strong effort not to stare at Gary, but my lust was such that whenever I thought I could get away with it, I took furtive looks at his beautiful face.
Gary was in two of my classes, English and Physical Education. Somehow I expected him to excel in his athletics and be a rotten English student. So much for stereotypes! Gary was a straight A student as well as a superb athlete. Well, some guys just had it all, and I wasn't one of them. I was a so-so student and a very terrible athlete.
In gym class, after the obligatory warm up exercises, which I didn't really mind so much, we either did gymnastics or played basketball. I got by with tumbling, rope climbing, the high and low bars, or the pummel horse, but I tried to hide when the teacher chose up sides for basketball. Knowing how bad I was he often ignored me anyway, which was fine with me. I would slink into a corner and watch the game. Now I could gaze at Gary without fear of reprisal, counting the minutes until we would go to the showers.
It was hard to remain blasé and not to stare at the other boys in the showers. Of course, my focus was on Gary. I didn't want to be obvious, but I did manage to discern that Gary had sparse pubic hair and I didn't have a strand yet, although we were the same age. I wondered what was wrong with me. He was circumcised like me, but almost man sized whereas I was pretty much the same as I was at six or seven.
Each day in the cab, whether coming or going, it was torture for me not to stare at Gary, but somehow I managed to remain discreet. One day I began to fantasize that Gary and I were whacking each other off, and then I pushed him away from me and threw my body down on his and started sucking his cock. I didn't realize that I had begun to stare at him again, until I became aware that he was staring right back at me. His face was unreadable. He neither smiled nor scowled at me, but he kept on staring until finally I had to turn away.
In gym class that day, Gary walked nonchalantly past where I was sitting and watching the game. As he passed me he said, "Tomorrow morning at 9:30 in the boys' bathroom," and away he went. I agonized all night. He was either going to kick the shit out of me or let me have my way with him. The odds were not good, but I knew that I had to take them. The timing confused me also; 9:30 AM was right in the middle of gym class.
On the way home that afternoon, and going to school the next morning, neither of us so much as glanced at the other. For the first time since I met Gary, it was easy for me to ignore him. My heart was racing so hard, I imagined that this is how people felt when they were having a heart attack.
There was a big clock in the gym hanging over the main entrance. At about 9:28 I got up from where I had been watching the basketball game and left the gym. I went across the hall to the boys' bathroom and waited for whatever would happen next. Five minutes later Gary had still not come in, and I was about to leave when the door opened. It was Gary. He didn't say a word, but turned around and locked the bathroom door. That still didn't clue me in as to whether I was going to get a beating or something more pleasant.
He turned to face me and said, "Suck my cock, faggot." With that he went into one of the stalls. I hesitated for just a moment and followed him in. Gary was sitting on the toilet seat. His pants and underwear were pulled down to his ankles and he was as hard as I had ever been able to get myself.
"Suck it!" he repeated.
I got down on my knees and took his cock in my hand. I had never felt another cock in my life and I was reluctant to let go so I bent down and took him into me. I sucked him like I had fantasized ever since I had met him. As I did so I fondled his balls. When his breathing grew heavier, I could feel his balls shrinking and I knew that he was about to explode. Finally I was going to taste another boy's cum. I shivered with excitement. With a stifled groan he let loose in several spasms and streams of jism. I was ecstatic and swallowed every drop. When I finished, I raised my head and faced him. I had some cum on my chin, and he did the unexpected. He wiped it with his finger and tasted his own cum. I never expected that to happen.
I figured he would now walk out, and probably beat me up after school, but he didn't. In fact, he seemed reluctant to leave. He put his hand on my head and tousled my hair. "Would you be willing to do that again?" he asked me. I was so amazed I nearly forgot to tell him that I would love to.
"My folks both work," he said. "My older brother is at college so nobody is home until almost seven o'clock. Can you come over some time after school?" With my jaw hanging open, I said, "My folks work too and I have no brothers or sisters. My mom gets home about four. When I get home this afternoon, I'll leave her a note saying that I am studying at your house, and I'll come right over."
"That's great, Billy," Gary said. "We'll have fun."
If you think that I could concentrate on anything, or anyone but Gary, that day in school, guess again. Our English class was right after lunch. Daringly, I waited for Gary at the front door and walked into the classroom with him. I smiled at him and he scowled back. I wondered why he was giving me all these mixed signals, and I finally reckoned that he was performing an act for the benefit of our class mates. He didn't want to arouse suspicion. At least, that's what I hoped.
On the other hand, I don't think Gary gave a damn about the two geeks in our cab. On the way home, he was friendly to me again, and since we were sitting side by side, he actually pushed himself closer to me. When I left the cab, he mouthed, "See you later."
When I got home I wrote the note to my mother. Then I changed to a tee shirt and a pair of jeans and put on a pair of sneakers. I took my school books to prove we were studying, and ran as fast as I could to Gary's house. I rang his door bell and I heard him yell, "Come on in and lock the door."
I did as I was told and when I looked around I could not see Gary. "I'm upstairs in my bedroom," he yelled. "Come on up." I bounded up the stairs. Instinctively I eliminated the master bedroom and chose one of the other two. I hit a home run on the first try. There was Gary lying on his bed. He was on his back and his almost man sized cock was throbbing with hardness.
"Get undressed and join me," he said, and I did. As soon as I got into bed with him, he grabbed my cock and started stroking it. Then he leaned over me, took my cock in his mouth and brought me to the most glorious climax I had ever had until then.
He swallowed all my cum and then he said to me, "I'm mad at you, you know. I waited and waited for you to make a move and you never did. You forced me to do something. You're way too shy Billy. If you and I are to be lovers, I vow to make a man of you."
"Lovers?" I mumbled meekly.
"Yes jerk, lovers," he mumbled back. I'm gay and I have wanted to have sex with you since the day we met. I have no explanation, but for some reason I wanted you to make the first move."
"I was afraid, you would kill me, and I couldn't do it, but I have wanted you also, more than you could possibly want me."
"Let's not compare," he said. "Let's talk about where we go from here, and if we are up to another session before you have to go home." With that said he placed his lips on mine and kissed me. I felt his lips part and his tongue dart out. I followed his lead and soon our lips were rubbing back and forth.
"I'll be right back," he said and he jumped out of bed. He went to his parent's bedroom and came back with a tube of KY jelly. "This is for fucking," he said. With that he went and got a towel. He put his pillow under my buttocks and the towel on top of the pillow. He put some jelly on his finger and shoved it up my ass, trying to get me as lubed up as possible. Then he greased up his cock, placed it at the opening of my crack and slowly started to push into me. The pain was killing me, but I was not about to complain. I had been dreaming of this moment for ages. Finally, he was all the way in me. Lying perfectly still, he asked me how it felt. Surprisingly, the pain had waned swiftly and I felt the comfort of his being a part of me.
"It feels great," I said. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, he began pumping. I couldn't believe how good it felt even though I had to resist the urge to shit, or at least to fart. He came inside of me rather quickly, and as he began to shrink, he fell out of me. It made me feel like a part of me was missing, leaving me with a major void.
We rested a bit and then he said he wanted me to fuck him. I was not as developed as Gary. My cock was smaller and it slipped right in. The heat and the wetness that enveloped my cock were indescribable. I squealed with happiness as I came. When I fell out of him we turned toward each other and began to kiss as we pressed our cocks against each other.
After awhile we got out of bed. Gary returned the KY jelly to its hiding place and we straightened out his bed. We made sure there were no tell tale signs. We used the towel, which was greasy from the jelly, to wipe our selves up and got dressed. Gary threw the towel in the hamper.
"Won't that make your mom suspicious?" I asked.
"Nah! She doesn't have time to wash clothes or linens or things. We have a cleaning lady comes twice a week," Gary said.
He walked down stairs with me. Before he opened the door, he grabbed my crotch with his right hand and my ass with his left while he kissed me with passion.
I got home just a short time after my mother. "I didn't expect you so soon," she said.
"Gary and I only have one class together. I've got lots of other homework. I'll start now and finish after dinner," I said as I bounded up the stairs.
Alone in my bedroom, I fell to my knees. Every fantasy I had ever had came true for me today in the space of a few hours. I needed to thank God and I did. I cried so long I had to wash my face to avoid embarrassing questions.
Gary continued his strange pattern of behavior. In the cab, he was my friend; in school, he ignored me; in his home after school, he was not only my lover, but he was kind, attentive and passionate. I was in no position to take him to task for the way he treated me in school. I realized that if our class mates suspected that we were gay, we could be bullied and abused, but I felt that Gary was going to extremes. Without showing his true feelings, he could at least be pleasant to me. But like I said, I didn't ever confront him with my feelings.
The weeks and months passed quickly. I no longer pretended to be studying and told my mom that I was hanging out with Gary. She was so glad that I finally had a friend that she didn't care if I studied or not. I was at Gary's house nearly every day after school. One day as I entered Gary's ass hole, he cried out in pain. I pulled out quickly and it was then we both became aware that I was maturing quickly. I had grown bushy pubic hair and my cock was almost as big as Gary's. Gary's cock had grown more than an inch also since we started playing together.
"You'll have to start using more lube," Gary said to me laughing, and then he pulled me to him and kissed me. I was euphoric. My home was the Garden of Eden, and Gary and I were its only human inhabitants. My miserable former life was over and I was one happy dude.
I should have known that it was too good to last. Toward the end of the school year Gary's father got a huge promotion, but the family had to move to Cleveland. They would be moved and gone before the next school year began. Gary and I were devastated. We cried so much we could hardly make love.
After Gary moved, toward the end of August, we wrote to each other daily, then often, then some. I even went to visit him the following summer, but Gary had little time for me. Some other kid was hanging around, and the three of us played a little. The new kid was obviously Gary's new play toy. I should have been devastated, but somehow I wasn't. I had come to expect that it would happen. When I returned home we continued to write intermittently, but in time the letters stopped. Eventually we lost touch with each other altogether. My sex life became one of pure fantasy once again.
At the beginning of grade nine another boy joined our cab pool. He was a seventh grader, and cute as all get out. The lust I had felt for Gary was rekindled in Marshall. I gained his confidence and found out that like Gary both his parents worked, and he was alone at home until about 6 PM every day. I extracted an invitation from him promising to give him special tutoring in his weakest subject, algebra.
At first I really tutored him, but I always managed to get the conversation around to whacking off. I asked him if he did it and if so, how often. He seemed as anxious to talk about it as I was. Sex is an obsession in young boys of pre-teen and early teenage years. One day, I whipped out my fully mature and erect cock. "Let's jerk off together," I said. He complied immediately.
I gave it a few minutes and then I pushed his hand away and grabbed his cock. "Let me do that for you," I said. He was more than happy to let me. I was very patient, and little by little by little we progressed to sucking and then to fucking. The more I taught him, the more he wanted. He was always more willing and more passionate to make love to me than Gary ever was.
One day he said to me, "I love you, Billy. Please don't ever leave me." I thought of Gary and how he left me. He had no control over the situation, and I knew that he had never meant to leave me.
"I'll do my best, Marsh," I promised him.
That was fifteen years ago. Marsh and I are both college graduates and are actively growing in our chosen careers. I think the expression is `upwardly mobile.' We live together in a two bedroom apartment in Manhattan in a very committed relationship. I never have to fantasize anymore. All my dreams are every day realities, thanks to the cab pool.
Every once in awhile I think about Gary. I wonder where he is and how he's doing, but I have no desire to find him.