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The Brotherhood Awakening is the 2nd book in The Brotherhood Series. It's a work in progress, as such, the chapters will come out slowly compared to the revised version of TBH, but faster than the initial 10+ years it took me to finish the original series.
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The Brotherhood Awakening Chapter XVII By X
It was a perfect night.
That thought echoed in my mind as I soared back to The Club through the night sky. Using the gate would have been faster, but I wanted to savor the moment. I darted in and out of the clouds, frolicking in their mist like a child splashing in the waves on a beach. It was silly, really. Q was miles away, yet I felt him all around me. I felt the tickle of his feathers on my skin as if I were still wrapped in his arms. I was on cloud nine, quite literally, doing spins and loop-the-loops, reliving the night's events with unapologetic glee.
If I couldn't spend eternity in his arms, I wanted to spend it floating aimlessly through the sky, lost in the memory of Q's love.
But it was late, and I knew Sunny was waiting up for me. He'd bombard me with questions, and as much as I wanted to hold onto the joy of this night forever, it would start to fade the minute I saw the concern and apprehension in Sunny's eyes. Sure, I'd do my best to answer his questions and put all his fears to rest.
But I'd be ripped from our moment, which was killing me.
With a heavy sigh, I descended to The Club and landed gracefully on the rooftop. I owed Sunny that much. A few last outstretched flaps and my wings melted away into the night.
Despite the temperature drop, the garden was still beautiful and lush, with some of the more vibrant flowers giving off a soft glow thanks to the Askyli keeping their green hue alive. I wasn't alone on the roof. I was greeted by Sable and Larc as I passed by them on my way to the stairs. They stood amid a flower bed, staring into the night, when one of them called out to me.
I can't say I knew them well, and I'm not sure which one actually said my name. They were another couple I met briefly while wandering the dorms. We acknowledged each other when passing in the hall and briefly conversed in the showers once. If Sunny was with me, the conversations lasted longer, but they spent most of their time talking to him. Don't get me wrong, they were friendly and always tried to make me feel included in the discussion, but most of the guys at The Club had a long history together, and I hated the feeling of having to play "catch up." So I was happy being the quiet one in the corner, admiring the spider plant hanging nearby.
As before, we didn't talk long, but their words were filled with genuine concern. They and the rest of the house were worried, so they were relieved to see me up and about. To my surprise, they embraced me, pressing their foreheads to mine. It was sweet, considering I didn't know them well, but not unwelcome, so I warmly returned their hug.
With a wave and smile, I left them and headed downstairs to the dorms. It was almost three in the morning, and thankfully, the halls and common areas were a ghost town. I didn't want concerned brothers approaching me every few minutes like it was my first day again.
I was headed to my room when I suddenly got the cringiest idea. Before I could give it a second thought, I whipped around and headed down to the showers, hoping it would also be deserted. My hopes were almost crushed when I saw one of my brothers walking out of the showers. Luckily, he was too busy looking at his phone to notice me slip in behind him. I didn't see or hear anyone else, but before embarrassing myself, I looked around the showers and lockers to ensure I was the sole witness to my cringe moment.
You see, the reason I went down there was silly, but it was something I needed to do.
I moved to the back corner and stood before one of the full-length mirrors to check myself out. Yeah, I was one of those guys, but this was totally different. I was still in my Skai form, and like I told Q, I had never really seen myself in this way. Weirdly, it never crossed my mind to check. I was used to being in my human skin. Now that everyone was locked in their rooms, sleeping or doing god knows what, I had the perfect opportunity to inspect myself up close and personal.
I moved in close, the mirror inches away from my face. It was shocking at first; I was staring at a completely different person. I turned my head from side to side and slipped my fingers through my pale white hair. It appeared longer than before, and I realized there was a hint of silver as I ran my hands through it.
Love it!
I opened my eyes wide, then I used my fingers to widen them even more. I was looking for the slightest trace of white, but there was none. They were dark, endless, and all-consuming like two collapsed stars trapping all surrounding light within their reach. I grinned like an idiot. That's when I noticed my canines were longer and sharper than before. They were not quite 'vampire fangs' but dangerous enough to cause severe damage with a single bite.
Q better watch out.
I grinned wider.
Stepping back, I ran my hands over my dark gray skin. I turned from side to side, flexing my abs and arms, admiring my sculpture-like figure. I was in great shape before, but this was on a whole new level of cut.
My god, I must have looked corny as hell. If my friends caught me, they'd laugh my ass out of the state.
Putting all that aside, I stepped out of the joggers and stood there naked, eyes laser locked on my junk. I don't know what I expected, but it all looked the same, size-wise, anyway. Although I admit, I liked this version much better. The trimmed white pubes over my dark gray cock made an aesthetically pleasing combination if I do say so myself.
God! Can I be any more pretentious?
I laughed at my dorkiness and grabbed my joggers. I had to walk away before the cringe reached critical levels, but not before checking out my Skai derriere as I bent over.
Nice!
I heard Q's voice in my head suddenly. You're an idiot! And I would have to agree.
I made it to my room but stopped short of turning the doorknob. I looked at Sunny's room. Part of me thought I should knock to see if he was still up, but then I remembered who I was talking about.
"Who am I kidding?" I whispered, then opened the door.
There sat Sunny on the spare bed, playing a game on his phone. I smiled righteously.
I knew it!
He was too engrossed in his next move to notice me standing in the doorway. Liam was lying beside him, also messing around on his phone. While Elijah sat on the floor, leaning up against the bed with earbuds in, bopping to the music. His eyes were closed while his lips moved as he mouthed along with the lyrics. Liam looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. He quickly jumped off the bed and rushed me, whacking Elijah on the head to get his attention. Before I knew it, the couple were hugging the crap out of me. They were in their underwear, so I could feel sausages pressed against me for days. At this point, it was whatever. I gladly returned their warm embrace, slipping my hands around their waists to pull them close.
"We're glad you're okay," Liam whispered, pressing his forehead to mine.
"Yeah, we were worried sick," Elijah added softly, greeting me as his boyfriend did a moment ago. "Sorry, we weren't there when you finally woke up."
"Believe me, we wanted to be there for you," Liam said, hugging me closer.
"Shit came up last minute and...."
"Guys, it's okay," I assured them, matching their gentle tone. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I know you would've been there if it were possible." Snaking my hand up their backs, I held the back of their heads and stared into their eyes. "Now, why are we whispering?"
Jerking his head to the side, Liam snickered. "The princess fell asleep."
Looking between the pair, I saw Zac spread across my bed in a web of arms and legs, snoring softly. I knew then that I wouldn't be able to reclaim my bed. I felt bad for his future boyfriend, who will undoubtedly spend his nights battling Zac for a sliver of space.
"He tried hard to stay up for you, but he conked out," Elijah said.
"Which is good because the boy had way too much sugar and was jumping around like a spider monkey all night."
"Sounds about right," I laughed softly as we walked over to Sunny, who had yet to look in my direction. I walked up to the edge of the bed and bumped it with my knee. "Hey...."
Sunny ignored me, keeping his focus on his phone.
I looked at Liam and Elijah, who shrugged as they sat on the bed.
"Hey...." I tapped the back of his phone to get his attention.
Still nothing.
What the fuck is his problem, I wondered.
I attempted to slap the phone out of his hand, but Sunny grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a headlock. Somehow he managed to flip me around, so he was straddling me and pinned my hands over my head. I was genuinely surprised by how quickly he could lay me out with so little effort. It was easy to forget that Sunny's slender frame concealed a powerhouse of Skai strength and agility.
He was definitely pleased with himself. The glint in his eyes told me that much, no matter how much he tried to stare me down. If I poked his side, I was positive he'd fall over laughing like a Tickle Me Elmo, but I allowed him his moment.
"Where in the hell have you been?" Sunny demanded sternly. But his whisper and smirk made the demand less menacingly than he had hoped. "Do you know how worried I've been since you ran off? Couldn't you call or send a text? Hell, I'd accept carrier pigeon in a pinch."
"Oh shit!"
Sunny was quick to cover my mouth. "Shhh! You'll wake up the spider monkey."
I involuntarily jerked my head back into the pillow, stunned. "Okay, this is new," I whispered, referring to Sunny's voice inside my head.
"Just speak with your inner voice, and we'll hear you." Sunny's words were as clear as if he'd spoken them out loud.
"Um, testing, one two, testing."
I heard Elijah laughing in my head.
"What are you doing?" Sunny asked without moving his lips. "This isn't karaoke night."
"Well, excuse me, bucky boy. I've never had voices in my head that weren't my own." I don't know why I was surprised. Considering the power we wield, communicating telepathically would be a no-brainer. Still, suddenly having clear, crisp voices in my head was jarring. "Now, get off me."
"Why did you say 'oh shit?'" Liam blinked at me.
"My phone," I answered out loud, but then switched to my inner voice again. "I think I lost it over the water." Or, quite possibly, when Q tore my pants off, but I wasn't about to add that little detail. And if that were the case, I would make him buy me a new one.
Sunny released my hands, then sat back on my lap and reached into the pocket of his shorts. "You mean this one?" He pulled out my phone and tapped it a few times against my forehead. "You left it on the couch when you ran off."
"Sweet!" I snatched my phone with one hand while pushing Sunny off with the other, sending him tumbling backward into Elijah and Liam. He wasn't the only one with supernatural strength. "If you had my phone this whole time, how did you expect me to call or text you?"
"I said carrier pigeon, didn't I?"
"You're stupid, but thanks for grabbing it for me."
I scrolled through several missed calls and texts from the guys. I was tempted to read some of them but decided to wait until there weren't as many eyes on me.
Sunny crawled over and sat next to me, carefully examining my body before he spoke. "What happened to you?" The fucker then flicked the head of my dick through the thin material of my pants. "These aren't the pants you wore when you took off."
"You bitch!" I winced and covered cupped my junk. "You're going to pay for that!"
Sunny pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs to protect his crotch.
Smart boy.
The other two were laughing it up.
"What happened to you?" Liam asked. At first, I thought he was referring to what Sunny was talking about, but I was wrong. "Why did you fall into a coma? That's what we're calling it, right? A coma?"
"It's as good a word as any, considering this has never happened before," Elijah said.
"Right, about that...." I began, picking a spot on the ceiling to stare at as I recounted what I learned from The Great Mother.
This was going to get old fast. As I sat there bearing my soul, I knew I would have the same conversation with Razual the next day, possibly Zenial, at some point, not to mention Arsen and the guys. Would I have to talk to the other Princes who came to see me? The thought of doing that was unnerving. I contemplated printing a pamphlet with all the pertinent details to hand out. I could give it a cool logo and everything, making my life way easier, but something told me that idea wouldn't fly.
Sunny and Liam did their best to hold back their questions, but Elijah couldn't help himself and was constantly interrupted by Liam saying, "Babe, let him finish." He would agree only to try and ask me something else a minute later. It was frustrating because I just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible, but also funny hearing those two bickering in my head.
By the end, Liam asked the one question on everyone's mind.
"What are you going to do?"
"Is it even a question?" Sunny was quick to jump in with no hesitation.
For the first time since settling my gaze on the spot in the ceiling, I turned my head to look at Sunny. He appeared confused that Laim would even ask such a question.
"Clearly it is," Liam responded. "Were you not listening?"
"Oh, I was listening, Liam. But if it's a choice between the memories of our people and those of his parents or nothing, is it really a choice? What am I missing?"
A lot.
"Like what?" he asked, staring directly at me.
Shit!
I meant for that to be a private thought and not broadcast through our wireless network. If you're not careful, it's easy to confuse the two and cross your wires.
"Jacob, these are the memories of your fathers," Sunny pressed. "Why would you not jump at the chance to know them?"
"Don't you want to know where you come from?" Elijah asked.
"I already know. I come from a small town called Cape Elizabeth. That's where my life began."
"But there's so much more to you," Elijah insisted. "You must realize this."
"No, Elijah, there really isn't." I sat up and gestured toward myself. "This is who I am. Nothing more. Nothing less. I like who I am. And I know I've said this a thousand times, but I'm not sure I'm ready to give up this Jacob for Jacob 2.0."
"So, you're not all curious about your parents?" Liam asked.
"Of course I am."
"Or why they locked away your memories?" Sunny added.
"Yes, of course." I looked down and started fidgeting with my thumbs, repeatedly rubbing one gray digit over the other. "But is that enough to risk losing who I am? Besides, they locked away those memories for a reason. Maybe I'm not supposed to have them, and giving them up is a way of honoring their wishes. I don't know."
"Oh, please!" Sunny scoffed and slapped my thigh with the back of his hand. "That's such a cop-out answer, and you know it. What's really holding you back, Jacob?"
I sighed, unable to take my eyes off my obsidian nails as I pictured Q's image on their glossy surface. I felt guilty suddenly. Q boldly proclaimed to his brothers that I was his man and did not intend to end our relationship. While I left the question up in the air, letting others make their own assumptions. If I had to guess, most, if not all, of my brothers assumed our relationship was over the instant I awoke as Skai.
"I'm in love with Q," I declared, raising my head so they could see the resolve in my eyes. "I'm seeing him....dating him, or whatever you want to call it, and I have no intentions of stopping."
"Well, this took a turn," Elijah said as he looked over to Liam briefly. "Does Qua'quelle know that?" "Yes!"
"Babe, don't be dumb," Liam scolded him.
"What? I'm just asking. There are a lot of psycho exes' out there who can't take a hint. "Elijah threw out his hand toward me. "Not that you're a crazy stalker, ex, but..."
"Lijah....just no," Liam interrupted, pulling Elijah's arm onto his lap. "It's okay. You tried."
While Laim and Elijah looked sincerely surprised by my announcement, Sunny remained unphased. Out of the people in The Club, he knew me the best, so this news was as shocking to him as announcing that fire is hot.
"So, we finally get to the heart of the matter," Sunny said. "Your hesitation to link with us and this choice that really shouldn't be a choice comes down to him." Sunny's voice had a hint of venom, but I couldn't blame him because he wasn't entirely wrong.
"Q's not the only reason this isn't an easy decision for me, but he is a big part of it. I don't want to lose him."
"And you're so sure you will?" Sunny asked. "If you guys really love each other, are you really taking a chance? I mean, shouldn't your love see you through? You know, love conquering all and all that jazz."
"I'm not playing that game," I snapped harshly.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I love Q," I asserted strongly. "In fact, I'm very secure in my love for Q. That's not in question here. Ever. But this notion of 'love prevails' or 'love conquers all' is fiction. It's a fantasy we tell each other because it makes us feel better....special. This is the real world with real-world consequences, and something tells me you already knew that."
I eyed Sunny suspiciously. Was he trying to get me to make the jump so it'd be easier to move on from Q once it was all said and done? I don't know. Maybe I was being unfair because despite being his head, I didn't know his mind.
Perhaps I shouldn't be stressing about this at all. The Great Mother did say she believed the door could hold for another thousand years or more. Maybe I should just take five hundred years, give or take a decade or two.
With a deep sigh, I averted my eyes from them for a moment and looked over at Zac. He looked serene. It was as if the chaotic world around him didn't exist - a reminder of a less complicated time now forever out of reach. I yearned for that simplicity, if only for a fleeting moment. "Look, I'd understand if you guys want to run the other way and put as much distance between us as possible. I know...."
"Who's running?" Sunny challenged, offended by the suggestion. "No one here is running. Jacob, just because you want to be with Q doesn't mean I'm leaving. That's not what this is about."
"Yeah, Sunny is right, Jacob," Liam insisted firmly while taking Elijah's hand. "We're here no matter what."
"For sure," Elijah agreed, with a degree of hesitation in his tone that earned him a glare from Liam. "Not me, Babe! I'm just...I'm unsure how others will feel if word gets out that Jacob is still seeing Qua'quelle. When news of his relationship spreads...."
"You mean when Kaylec spreads the news of his relationship," Liam corrected with a twinge of guilt.
"Yeah, I get that, but my point is when people initially found out, they brushed it off as interesting gossip but nothing to get worked up about. Except for us two morons, that is. Again, we're sorry about that."
"It's fine," I assured them. "I want this to be the last time you guys apologize for that, or there will be a problem."
"Fair enough," Elijah smiled. "I'm just saying no one cared because it wasn't your fault, if that makes sense."
"You didn't know you were Skai," Liam added. "No rational person could blame you for being in a relationship with Qua'quelle."
"Exactly!" Elijah hollered, his voice a sonic boom in our minds.
While clutching the side of his head, Liam immediately backhanded him across the chest. "Bring it down a notch!"
I had to close my eyes and shake my head to clear his echo from my head.
"Sorry," Elijah frowned and innocently shrugged. "I didn't mean to shout, but I don't know how the other guys will feel about you choosing to be with one of our mortal enemies."
"I mean, we don't have to say anything if it doesn't come up," Liam quickly added. "But if it does, lying to...."
"I would never ask you to lie." I was just as quick to cut Liam off. "It's not my intention to keep it a secret. Not anymore. People are going to feel like they're going to feel. I have no control over that. I'm not trying to cause any trouble. Really, I'm not, but I refuse to live my life in secret."
"I would never want you to live your life in the shadows, Jacob," Sunny said while strenuously rubbing his face as if trying to keep himself awake. "But you're just not getting it, are you?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, a bit snarkier than intended. "That it's going to be difficult? That I'll become the black sheep of The Sanctum? Because if that's what you're talking about, I'm very well aware."
Sunny actually laughed out loud while throwing his head back in frustration. "Oh, my god..."
Zac stirred slightly, and we all glanced over at him hesitantly.
"What?" I replied inside my head, looking back at Sunny.
"Tell me something, Jacob...." As Sunny spoke, his eyes were enveloped in shadow.
A black mist rose from the floor and filled the room, covering everything below our waists in darkness. It churned and swirled like the surface of turbulent waters. The shadow completely engulfed Zac, but I had no reason to worry. Sunny would never do anything to harm him. Besides, I could see the mist puff out over the surface every time he exhaled.
The mist between us began to stir, rising and falling like dark waves, shaping into two distinct figures. One was a miniature version of Sunny, while the other was clearly Q; both had their weapons ready. The shadow under their feet solidified into a battlefield riddled with the dead, both Skai and Nave alike. Even though everything was created out of shadows, the details were immaculate, as if each figure was craved by a master sculptor - a maestro of clay and miniature figurines.
Despite this being equivalent to watching a puppet show, the sight made me uncomfortable. I knew the implications of his mock scenario. I knew what would happen. But honestly, seeing the dead strewn about the "battlefield" didn't bother me as much as seeing Q and Sunny facing off.
"This is our reality, Jacob," Sunny said telepathically. "This scene right here could very well happen." Before he continued, a third figure boiled up from the shadow between them.
It was me.
"What do you do then?" he inquired. "Sure, you love Qua'quelle, and he loves you, but his love does not extend to the Skai standing next to you."
The two figures rushed each other suddenly. I was not expecting it to be a live-action demonstration. I was both astonished and horrified at the same time.
"I know my chances against someone like Qua'quelle," Sunny continued as the miniatures circled each other in a heated battle. "The sane thing to do would be run away and hide behind the biggest rock I could find. But I wouldn't do that. I couldn't. None of us could because our brothers are lying dead at his feet. There is no turning back for me for that reason and that reason alone. I am Skai..."
As his voice trailed off, the mini Q disarmed Sunny, dropped him on his back, and was poised to strike the final blow.
"What do you do?" Sunny asked.
"I....I don't know," I responded softly.
As Q was about to thrust his blade into Sunny, my miniature reached out his hand, mouth wide open as if it was yelling. The blade stopped inches from Sunny's throat.
"Maybe I get lucky," Sunny shrugged. "Maybe he loves you so much that he will spare my life for your sake. It's possible, I guess. But what if...." His voice trailed off again, and two more figures emerged from the shadows on either side of Q.
Liam and Elijah appeared, flanking the Q figure, ready to strike. Q disarmed the pair in a dazzling array of blade work and acrobatics and now had my three Skai brothers at his mercy. His foot seemingly crushed Sunny's neck while his two blades were pressed against Liam and Elijah's throats. It was quick, easy, and totally believable.
"I resent that!" Elijah protested.
"What do you do?" Sunny asked again.
"I don't know," I repeated.
"I see," Sunny said softly. "Perhaps a brother appears that can stand toe to with Qua'quelle and save us."
Another figure appeared next to Q in the form of Eolaeis. His sword was pressed to Q's neck as if he got the jump on him, and now Q was at a disadvantage. The whole scene was entirely made up, yet it felt real and unsettling. I was anxious just watching it play out before me.
"Now Qua'quelle is in trouble," Sunny continued. "With a flick of his wrist, Eolaeis could end him right there and there. So, Jacob, who do you help? Your beloved boyfriend or your brothers, your family?" He wouldn't even give me a chance to breathe, let alone think of an answer. "What do you do?"
"I don't know...."
The final act was truly disturbing. Behind Q, our little pride and joy Zac appeared. In his hypothetical, Zac had his wings and was an El'odian Skai. As such, he wasted no time coming to his brothers' aid. Zac lunged through the air, arching his body as he prepared to come crashing down on Q and impale him with his sword.
Up until now, everything played naturally, their movements were fluid and realistic, but now the scene slowed down, with everything playing out frame by frame. I watched as Zac got closer and closer to Q, and Sunny spoke.
"A brave act, no doubt," Sunny said somberly. "But what chance does it have against the storm?"
Suddenly, Q knocked Eolaeis' sword away from his throat as he spun around and leaped into the air to meet the incoming attack. He became a whirlwind of fury and steel and was moments away from striking down Zac.
"What do you do?!" Sunny demanded aggressively.
"I DON'T KNOW!" I shouted out loud, clearing out the scene before me like a hurricane blowing away a sand castle.
The real Zac was ripped from his deep slumber and sat up like a springboard, dazed and confused. "What's happenings? What's going on? Who died?"
The shadows were already receding through the floor, but not before Zac spotted them through his partially opened eyes.
"Holy shit!" he shouted and scrambled to leave the bed. "Fire! Fire!" All he managed to do was get his legs tangled up in the sheets and tumble over the side, hitting the floor with a loud thud. "Ow...."
"It's not a fire, you doofus," Sunny said calmly as the last of the dark mist disappeared.
"Oh," Zac said, rubbing his shoulder, still obviously confused by his surroundings. "Well, that's good, I guess."
"And with that Benny Hill sketch out of the way," Liam said, "I think it's time for us to head out."
"I second that," Elijah agreed.
"Wait, what?" Zac asked, looking around at us. "Why? What were you guys doing?"
"Nothing," Sunny said. "Just go back to bed."
Liam reached out and placed his hand on my knee. "Whatever you decide, we're here for you, Jacob."
"Yeah, bro, we got you." Elijah smiled as he wrapped his arms around his man.
"Wait. Decide what?"
"Go to sleep!"
"By the way, Sunny, I don't agree with your little reenactment," Elijah complained. "I could've taken him."
"Sure you could," Sunny rolled his eyes.
"Take who? Who was here?"
I watched as they were enveloped in darkness and vanished.
"What's happening?!" Zac stood up and glared at Sunny.
"For the tenth time, just go back to bed."
"I was sleeping!" Zac snapped, placing his hand on his hip with attitude. "You fools woke me up and..." He stopped suddenly, finally noticing me. "Oh, hey, Jacob, you're back."
Zac's acknowledgment didn't even register. My eyes were still focused on the spot where Sunny's tragic drama played out. The marionettes were gone, but the image of their actions was seared into my mind. What I saw was not some fairytale to be dismissed but one real possibility out of many that could play out if we go to war.
If?
"Jacob?" Zac said, his sharp tone replaced with tender concern. "Are you okay?"
"He's fine," Sunny insisted, slapping my leg to snap me out. "Right, Jacob?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." I shook my head and smiled at him. "Sorry, we woke you."
"It's all good," he beamed as he looked me over. "Me likes!"
At first, I didn't understand, but then I realized he saw me as a Skai for the first time.
"Thanks," I laughed.
"I'm sorry too. I really wanted to stay up and wait for you."
"Yeah, I could tell by your snoring," I teased.
"Hey, now!" The sass was back as he pointed at his face. "You see this? It's not easy. I need at least seven hours to keep this perfect skin."
"Bullshit!" Sunny mocked. "I removed your acne and gave you that perfect skin."
"True...." Zac conceded with a roll of his eyes. "But now I have to maintain it."
"No, you don't. It's permanent, and you know it."
"Whatever! I was trying to do a thing here," Sunny scolded thru clenched teeth.
"If it's to be annoying, you succeed, trust me," Sunny joked.
"Ugh, you're annoying," Zac clapped back. "So, what were you guys doing?"
"Like I said already, nothing," Sunny replied.
"Really? There was so much smoke in here I thought I was trapped in a car with Snoop Dog, but you guys weren't doing anything."
"Exactly."
Zac looked at me as if I was the weak link that would cave to his demands, but I held firm and shrugged.
"Fine. Keep your secrets. You know I'll end up finding out anyway."
"Good luck with that. Now go to bed."
"Ugh, you suck!"
When I saw Zac turn, I thought he would march his little ass back to his room, but he jumped back into my bed instead and covered himself from head to toe with the sheets. There really was no chance of getting my bed back.
Sunny gently tugged on my pant leg and didn't let go. "Are you okay?" Zac turned around and sat up. "If nothing happened, why wouldn't Jacob be okay?"
"Go to bed!" we shouted in unison.
"UGH! You both suck!" Zac declared before turning around with a bounce and covering his head with the pillow.
"I'm fine, Sunny," I insisted as I lay down and pulled my phone out.
Sunny did the same, and an awkward silence ballooned between us as we messed around on our phones.
I did my best not to think about what Sunny showed me. I took the opportunity to scroll through my socials and check my messages. The distraction helped, but I still found it difficult not to picture Q going after Zac and cutting him down. Granted, I blew away the images before it got that graphic, but I could still see it as clearly as if it happened in real life.
There were about thirty texts from the guys, all wondering if I was okay and demanding I pick up the phone or call them back. I didn't want to wake everyone up if they were sleeping, so I only texted Arsen and assured him I was okay. Since it was so late, I wasn't expecting a response, but my phone instantly vibrated as Arsen called me.
Regrettably, I had to decline the call and texted him that I couldn't talk now but that we should meet for breakfast in The Village later that morning. After Arsen agreed, we decided on a place and time, and he assured me he would "wrangle up" the gang. I tried to let him go multiple times, but he kept asking me questions about what happened despite assuring him I'd tell them all everything at breakfast. Still, he wouldn't let it go, and I had to feed him some information so he'd finally get off the phone and sleep.
Some forty minutes had passed since Sunny and I lay in silence, tapping away at our screens, avoiding difficult conversations that probably needed to be had. Another ten minutes passed before Sunny finally put his phone down and rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at me.
I pretended not to see him. "Seriously?" Sunny snapped, yanking the phone from my hand and tossing it on the bed between my legs. "Look....I didn't mean to go so hard on you before."
"Oh, yes, you did!"
"Okay, I did," Sunny admitted, playfully punching me in the arm. "But it wasn't to be mean or hurt you, Jacob.".
"I know, Sunny," I assured him because, if nothing else, I knew his sincerity was unimpeachable.
"I'm worried about you," Sunny said. "I think...." He hesitated momentarily, looking away from me as if trying to find the right words that wouldn't hurt my feelings. "It's just...."
"Spit it out already. I'm a big boy."
"I think you're being na‹ve," he finally admitted. "You have a way of looking at this conflict between both sides through rose-colored glasses. I think you're trying to convince yourself that some miracle will happen, and we will live together in peace and harmony."
"Is that what I'm doing?" My indignant tone only served as a mask to avoid conceding to Sunny's observations.
"You think you're not? Everything you're doing is to help you walk a fine line between our two worlds without pissing off one side or the other. That may work for now, but it will not work forever." He pointed to the space where the "mock" battle took place without taking his eyes off mine. "One day, sooner or later, that will happen. Be it Qua'quelle or some other Nave, we will face them in battle, and when that day comes, you will be forced to answer the question you couldn't answer tonight." Laying back down, he stared at the ceiling. "I don't want that for you, Jacob."
"I know," I whispered. "But what am I supposed to do? Just let them go like I'm tearing off a Band-Aid and be done with it?"
"Maybe."
"You know I can't do that." I turned to face Sunny. "I won't."
"I know," he said, and to my surprise, his somber tone was accompanied by the beginning of a smile before he continued. "I admire your devotion."
"You don't think I'm a traitor to my kind?"
"Traitor?" he snickered. "What have you done but fall deeply in love?" Sunny looked at me and offered a sympathetic smile. "Sure, out of all the people in the world, you had to pick him, but whatever...."
I laughed and elbowed him. "Shut up."
I realized I wouldn't get Sunny's full-throated support in my relationship with Q. It wouldn't be fair to expect that of him. His acknowledgment that my love for him was unconditional was enough.
Still, he wasn't wrong. One day I will find myself between a rock and a hard place. I didn't have an answer that night, and I was terrified of the future decision I might be forced to make. And yet, as na‹ve as it may sound, somewhere buried deep within, I clung to a sliver of hope that there could be another way.
"We should hang out later," Sunny said abruptly, pulling me away from my troubled thoughts.
"I can't today," I said, reaching between my legs to grab my phone.
"So, you're pissed at me, is that it?"
"What? No." I took my pillow and hit him in the face. "You're annoying as fuck, but I'm not mad, you idiot. I have other plans."
"What plans? Maybe I can come with you or help you with whatever you're doing." He grinned from ear to ear like he was making a noble sacrifice by offering help.
"I don't think so."
"Oh, come on! Why not?"
"You're just going to get pissy if I tell you."
"I won't. Promise! Just tell me."
I stared at him for a moment, knowing full well he wouldn't be able to keep his word.
"I'm meeting KU friends for breakfast and...."
Before I could finish, Sunny contorted his face in disgust and went off on a tirade. I let him go on for a couple of minutes without interruption. My favorites were, "Fine, you love Qua'quelle, whatever, but why those morons? What's so special about them when you have us? You're going to end up in the same predicament with them...." That's when I finally took my pillow and smothered him with it. That did not stop him from ranting into the pillow, but it saved me from hearing what else he had to say.
I held Sunny down so long he would've been dead if he wasn't Skai. I like to tell myself that I hadn't forgotten he was immortal; otherwise, I would have some self-reflection to do.
"Are you done?" I asked when he finally shut up.
I felt him nod under the pillow and removed it.
"They're my friends, Sunny, and they've been worried about me. I owe them the same explanation I gave you guys."
"Do you, though?"
"Sunny!" I bemoaned.
"Fine, it's your life. We can just meet up later."
"No, we can't."
"Why? How long are you planning to have breakfast? You don't even eat!"
"I'm meeting Q later."
"Oh, for fucks sake!" He grumbled and rolled his eyes. "Weren't you already with him tonight?"
"How do you know I was with him?"
"Again," he said, pulling on my joggers, "not the pants you wore when you took off. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. I don't even what to know what you guys were doing."
"You sure?" I grinned mischievously. "It was kinda hot."
"Oh god!" Making a gagging noise, Sunny rolled on his side and acted like he would puke. "Spare me the details."
I leaned over him and pressed my lips to his ear, "Your loss."
"Doubt it!" he said, pushing me off. "What are you and The Slayer of Skai going to do?"
"Okay, we're not doing that," I scolded and slapped the back of his head before rolling away from him.
After I ignored him, Sunny asked me again, but without the "Slayer" title. He grabbed my shoulder and forced me onto my back when I refused to answer. Like a little kid trying to play innocent, he folded his arms on my chest and rested his face on it. When I wouldn't even look at him, he finally apologized.
"Okay, I'm sorry. That was totally uncalled for, no matter how accurate."
"That's your apology?"
"What? I said I was sorry." He grabbed my nose and tweaked it. "Now, can you tell me what you're doing with him?"
"Why do you even care? You don't like him, so what does it matter?"
"True, but I like you very much, so I want to ensure you'll be okay."
"You're annoying! And I'll be fine. We're taking Soullen to get a cell phone."
The silence coming from the other side of the room was suddenly shattered. "Can I come?" Zac blurted out before sitting up on the bed.
"I thought you were asleep," Sunny said.
"Then you thought wrong. I've been listening to you guys this whole time. Anyway, can I go?"
"No, you can't go!" Sunny declared vehemently. "Why would you even think that's a possibility?"
"Why not?" Zac demanded, truly confused.
"Because I said so."
"That's not an answer."
"Oh, yes, it is. It's one of the classics, in fact."
"That's total bull! Why does Jacob get to meet up with a Nave, but I can't?"
"Are you listening to yourself?" Sunny asked. "That's the dumbest thing you've ever said. It's not the same thing, and you know it. Just because Jacob suffers from brain rot and doesn't realize his huge mistake doesn't mean I'd let you make the same dumb choice."
"Hey!" I protested.
"I say that with love," Sunny insisted.
"Jacob, help me out here," Zac pleaded, his puppy dog eyes pulled at my heart. "Tell him it's fine."
"Oh, no, buddy," I said, "I'm not getting in the middle of this. Sorry, but it's not my place."
"Yes, it is!" Zac asserted forcefully, slapping his hand on the mattress in a mini tantrum. "You're just as much my brother as Sunny."
"True," I agreed with a smile. I didn't mean to, but, as corny as it sounds, I enjoyed hearing Zac call me his brother. "But from what I understand, Raz gave Sunny guardianship over you. That was the deal you agreed to. Brother or not, I can't get between that. Sorry, bud."
"Why would you want to hang out with one of our greatest enemies?" Sunny asked, continuing this back and forth while still resting on my chest. "How hard did you hit your head when you fell on the floor?"
"I didn't hit it that hard," Zac insisted. "But that's beside the point. I want to learn more about the Nave, so this could be the perfect chance."
"We've taught you a lot about them already."
"You have, and I'm grateful, but that pales compared to sitting across from one of their leaders."
I'm pretty sure he was leaving out his biggest motivation for going, but like I told Zac, not my business.
"What are you afraid of?" Zac continued. "That I'll like them more than you guys and jump ship? That would never happen."
"Don't be ridiculous, Zac. It's my job to keep you safe; believe it or not, that's exactly what I'm doing. End of discussion."
"But it's not fair!"
"Yeah, well, even Skai life can be full of disappointments. Might as well start your training early."
Zac was about to fire off more arguments, but Sunny ended the conversation before it could continue.
"Zac, stop."
That stern fatherly tone was all it took.
That didn't stop Zac from grabbing the sheet and forcefully throwing it over his head in one final act of defiance before laying down and rolling over on his side away from us.
"This is your fault," Sunny whispered as he slid off my chest.
"Me?" I was taken aback by his accusation. "What did I do? I didn't say a word."
"You know what I'm saying."
"No, I really don't."
"Your whirlwind romance with a Nave is now poisoning his mind," Sunny said as he elbowed me. "I'm not an idiot."
"That's debatable," I muttered.
"I know why he wants to go with you tomorrow," Sunny proclaimed in a hushed voice. "He wants to meet up with that Nave."
"What are you talking about?" I feigned ignorance.
"Oh, please, don't play dumb with me."
Yeah, he wasn't buying it.
"You know damn well who I'm talking about," Sunny continued. "He wants to see that wannabe spy. That's why this is all your fault! You've infected him with your 'I-can-fall-for-a-Nave' virus."
"That's harsh and not even catchy," I protested teasingly, matching Sunny's soft voice. "I don't have the power to control whom anyone falls for, let alone a hormonal fifteen-year-old teenager. Zac is going to crush on whomever he is going to crush on. That is not something you can control. Welcome to being a dad."
"Why are you even talking?" Sunny snarled with wide eyes. "Didn't you say you were staying out of this?"
"You're right," I admitted, throwing my hands up in defeat. "It's none of my business."
"Good," he said, rolling over to face the wall.
"Except to say this," I whispered and pulled him back so I could look him in the eyes. "Would it be so bad if he went with me tomorrow?"
"Yes! I don't want him to get hurt."
"What do you think is going to happen? Do you think they're going to eat him alive?"
"Maybe. I don't know those people."
"Sunny...."
"Jacob, just drop it, please."
"Fine, but I think you're making a mistake."
I did as he asked and dropped the subject. Placing my hands behind my head, I stared at the ceiling and started a mental countdown from ten.
...4...3...2...1
"Okay, how am I making a mistake?" Sunny asked, nudging me with his elbow.
I smiled, obnoxiously pleased with myself. "Do you really want Zac to resent you over this?"
"He's not going to resent me," Sunny mused.
"Yes, I will!"
"Be quiet and go to sleep!" Sunny damn near blew my eardrum out before returning his voice to a whisper, which made no sense since Zac's owl-like hearing was picking up everything we said. "And even if he does, he'll get over it eventually."
"No, I won't!"
"Zac, I swear to god!"
"Of course he will," I said, ignoring the shouting match between them. "Because he loves you, but..."
"I wouldn't go that far," Zac mumbled.
"You're not helping!" Now I was shouting at the boy. I let out a frustrated sigh before continuing. "But that doesn't mean he won't carry this moment for a very long time. He'll always wonder 'what if' or 'what could have been.' Trust me, as someone who's spent most of his life asking those questions, it's not a good feeling. Do you really want to be the cause of that?"
"Obviously not," Sunny acknowledged thoughtfully. "But it would kill me to see him get hurt."
"Seriously? Do you really think they will eat him? What the fuck?!"
"No, not that, dummy!"
"Then what is it?" I was forced to ask since he didn't follow up with anything.
"Look, I know he'd be fine physically. Zac is human, so they won't touch him. It would shred our peace treaty and ignite a war. That's not what I'm worried about. No offense, but..." He broke off, shifting his eyes from side to side as if trying to find the most tactful way to continue. He gave up in short order. "Okay, I'm just going to say it. I don't want him to end up like you."
I think he gave up too quickly.
"Ouch." Hearing Sunny say that genuinely stung. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and gave him a chance to explain himself before flipping out on his ass.
"It's not like that, Jacob. I think you're great."
"That's not what I just heard."
"I'm not talking about you personally. I'm talking about your situation. I don't want him walking down the same path as you because I don't think it will end well. What if Zac falls for this Nave spy? What then? They stay up late, sending nauseating texts about how much they miss each other. They meet up after school for ice cream. They hang out at the mall with the other annoying teens. Suddenly I'm dropping them off at the theater for their movie date."
"Well, Soullen has wings and can teleport, so I don't think you'll...."
"Shut up. You know what I mean."
"Would any of that be so bad?" I challenged.
"See, this is you looking at everything through your rose-colored glass," Sunny grumbled, shaking his head in frustration. "What happens when war breaks out, huh? Like you, they'll be facing down the barrel of a gun and will be forced to make a decision that won't end well for anybody. It's not fair to Zac. Hell, it's not fair to Soullen either, and I don't even care about him." Sunny paused and let out a heavy sigh as he rubbed his eyes. "I don't want Zac's heart broken."
Sunny was right. I was only focusing on the moment and not seeing the whole picture. I don't like thinking of war between our people, but pretending it wasn't a real possibility was irresponsible and dangerous. That's a reality I would have to grapple with sooner or later. There was no wishing it away.
Still...
"That's very sweet, Sunny," I said warmly. "It makes all the sense in the world, but have you considered that it's not your job to protect Zac's heart from breaking? You and I know he's an annoyingly smart kid - a kid already denied so much so soon." I took a moment to reflect on what Zac had endured getting here, but I quickly pushed the thoughts aside for fear of falling into a deep rage. "Say he meets Soullen, and they realize they can't stand each other. No harm, no foul, and we all laugh over it. But if there's something there - a spark of something - what right does anyone have to deny him a chance to discover what that something is?"
"God, you're annoying!" Sunny huffed and rolled on his side again to face the wall.
He was quiet for a while, no doubt calculating all the variables in his head, but there was something about Sunny that was undeniable. Zac's happiness meant everything to him.
"Fine....he can go with you."
"Really?!" Zac squealed as he hopped off the bed. He managed to land on his feet this time.
He rushed over to us and leaped into the air. I saw where one of his knees was about to land and immediately cupped my junk.
Sunny looked over his shoulder just in time to see him go airborne. "Oh, hell no!" He waved his hand just before Zac came crashing down on us and made him disappear.
Rematerializing over my bed, Zac bounced on the mattress several times before settling in place, confused as all hell. "What the...." He looked around the empty bed for a moment before he realized what had happened. "You're no fun!"
"Yeah, well, get used to it. Now, go to sleep for real before I change my mind."
"Okay, okay, deal!" After fluffing his pillow, Zac lay on his side and wrapped himself in his blanket. He was facing us this time, and despite closing his eyes, I could see the huge smile on his face. "Thanks, Jacob."
"Yeah, well, don't get used to it." Sunny then turned to me. "If they eat him, I'm holding you personally responsible."
Zac giggled.
After his not-so-subtle threat, Sunny went silent. Placing my hand on his shoulder, I snuggled close behind him to whisper into his ear. "I know what you did," I said softly, tickling his ear with my breath. "It's very sweet."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Sunny griped.
"You know...."
At first, I was curious why Sunny didn't simply speak to me telepathically if he wanted to keep our conversation private, but then it dawned on me that he did it for Zac's benefit. Knowing full well that he'd be listening, Sunny wanted Zac to understand his point of view without giving up the moral authority of a 'parent.' It probably killed him to know that Zac would be mad at him over this, so he needed him to understand the reasoning behind his decision.
"You're such a softy," I teased, poking his cheek with my nail.
"Shut up and leave me alone," he demanded, feigning anger and trying desperately to shake me off.
I wasn't having it and held him close until he finally stopped struggling. It reminded me of Arsen and how we wrestled and horsed around before ending up tired in each other's arms. In a perfect world, it would be the three of us snuggled up together in an unbreakable bond of friendship.
Would these rose-colored glasses be my doom?
I wasn't tired and intended to stay up until dawn, then catch Razual in his office before he started his day. But it didn't happen that way. To say I fell asleep would be inaccurate. To say I was awake was just as wrong. Within a short time of settling in alongside Sunny, there was a pull at my psyche, like a hand reaching up from the depths to drag you down into the dark waters. I couldn't fight against it. That's the best way I could describe it.
Yet, I don't remember dreaming. There was nothing but darkness.
Suddenly, I awoke with a start, gasping for air as if the darkness was suffocating me. A strange sensation since we don't need to breathe like humans. Why would I be struggling to draw breath? I guessed it was a habit left behind from living as a human for so long. Still, it was unsettling. Something wasn't right. The room appeared darker than I remembered, as if all traces of light were snuffed out like a flame from a candle. Sunny wasn't next to me anymore. My bed was empty and perfectly made. Was this Zac's doing?
I shook my head, dismissing the idea because I had seen Zac's bed. I don't think he has ever made a bed in his life.
The moment I shifted to get out of bed, the surface began to ebb and flow like I was on a waterbed.
"What the hell?" I mumbled.
The mattress was no longer solid but a collection of shadows pulling me in...pulling me down. I fought against it as one might fight against sinking in quicksand, but I could not escape the shadowy vortex.
"Help! Sunny! Liam! Anyone!"
I felt long, cold fingers wrap around my face, pulling me down into the dark until I was freefalling.
The shadows whispered with a thousand voices. Disembodied hands reached out and taunted me. I knew I was in that place again. What that place was, I couldn't say. Was it a creation of my mind? A dream? Or was I pulled into another reality entirely? It was a real possibility now that I knew such places existed. In the end, finding an answer would've made little difference.
I was still falling...
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