The Boy With the Emerald Eyes By James
Disclaimer
This is a story which deals with sexual/romantic situations between teenaged males. Should you not be of the legal age to read such material, or if you're offended by such stories then please find something else to read. This story also will contain scenes of violence, instances of Hate Speech and at times possibly scenes dealing with or dialogue concerning rape. If those themes disturb anyone who reads this story, then I urge them to find something else to read as well.
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Finally, if anyone would like to contact me regarding this story, I can be reached at jamesheady1985@gmail.com. I respond to all e-mails, but flames and other e-mails that are, or that I suspect are trolling or flaming in nature will be ignored.
The Boy With the Emerald Eyes
Chapter 5
Dakota
Caleb left a little before dinner time. He had to go back home and get some stuff taken care of, and he said that he would be getting school supplies over the weekend, so I probably wouldn't get a chance to see him that much. He did say though, that he would call me a couple of times when he had time, and I agreed to do the same. I was discovering how much I was growing to miss him when he was gone. I would be alright, but I still loved it more when he was around. I was also amazed at how deeply I was growing attached to my new friend. I was amazed further that I could actually call him a friend and it be true.
After dinner I went back to my room to relax for a bit, as well as write in my journal. Because of my newly acquired reading problems, I had to use a computer, but not just that but a computer that had screen-reading software on it that would speak every key I typed, as well as read back what I would type. The computer was the typical Windows laptop that almost everyone used, and so it was easy enough to learn. Keeping a journal was helping me, and so I wrote in it almost every day.
Once back in my room, I opened up the document I was using as a journal, and I began writing about the events that lead to me living as I do now. I felt calm enough to write about them so that I didn't think I'd have a melt-down or anything like that. So I began writing once the document was on screen.
0000
My family with whom I was originally living was Conservative in almost every outlook. They didn't like Blacks, Jews, Spanish people, Disabled people, Children who were disobedient, women who didn't know their proper place nor did they like LGBT Individuals. My family wasn't any particular brand of religion, but they did go to a church where the pastor screamed and yelled Sunday after Sunday about the so-called "Evils of Homosexuality" among other things. I knew around age 12 that I was gay, and though I was always unnerved about his sermons before, I was completely terrified when I realized I was gay, and had to hear them at that point. I tried to not show my fear, and tried to get through the hour as best as I could, and felt a little better when we would go back home. Sometimes though my mom and dad would talk about things the pastor said as we would drive back home, and my dad would always turn his head to face me where I was sitting in the back seat, and he would tell me that he had better not ever catch me fucking or getting fucked by another boy. He also told me that if he ever found out that I would turn out to be a disgusting Fagot, then he'd fucking kill me. That always scared me, and I tried harder to hide my feelings.
As I was growing up back in those days, I always had a deeply sensitive way about me. I could cry easily, and often did. If I found something funny, or interesting then I really had a hard time containing my joy. My parents were always annoyed at this, and they would either tell me to stop crying like a little Fag, or to stop bothering them, and that I could show them later about whatever it was I found interesting or joyful. That was all was hard to deal with, but I didn't really have anyone I could confide in about any of what was going on. Not that I probably would have told anyone if there was someone, as I thought that what I was going through though unpleasant was just how most kids had to live.
The only thing I couldn't ever really get used to was when my dad would beat me. He beat me more so when he would get drunk, but he could and sometimes did do it when he was sober as well, but it was worse when he had been drinking enough to be drunk. When I would have to get medical attention if the beating was severe enough, then my dad would always make me tell the doctors that I fell, or that I was playing too rough with my friends.
My mom would always go along with my dad, and she was more about the verbal and emotional abuse. With her, nothing I could do was ever right, and in her words, I was always a "Good-for-nothing Fuck-up", and she had no trouble telling me that as far as she and my dad were concerned, I would never amount to anything.
Things changed when I met Adam, or so I thought. I met Adam when I was 13, and he was a new kid in my school. He started classes at my school at the beginning of the 2019/2020 school year, and we met that morning when he came up to where I was standing putting my stuff in my locker save for the couple of books I would need for the first class.
When he introduced himself to me, he had an attitude that I did immediately notice as thinking of himself more importantly than he should have, but I tried not to think about that, but tried focusing on getting to know him. Adam was bigger than I was at around 5-5, and he was around 150 LBs with most of it muscle. He told me later that day that he worked out. He had light-brown hair, ice-blue eyes, and though I didn't think of it at the time, them being ice-blue wasn't just about the shade of blue, but that "Ice" would become the perfect description of both his eyes, and of his personality as I came to know him more as the days, weeks and months went by. Adam also had a smile that mostly seemed forced, but seemed only a little genuine when he was laughing at something such as a joke or something that happened to someone. Typically the joke or something happening to someone that would make Adam's smile get a little more pronounced seemed to be only things or jokes that had some component of meanness or spite to them.
As I moved forward in my getting to know Adam, I would try to talk to him about being kinder to the other kids, and he would always tell me that the kid or kids in question just needed to learn to relax and take a joke. He would also say that they needed to learn how to toughen up since they would be going in to the Real World soon enough, and that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be there at that point to hold their little Bitch hands every time things didn't go their way. In short, I started to realize that I had befriended Adam, because I thought I could help him to be a better person, and hopefully my friendship would help soften him. I didn't know at the time how wrong I was in my beliefs.
There would be times when Adam would play practical jokes on me, and it was only looking back on it that I realized how much I really didn't like how he treated me. I would laugh a little after he played whatever joke it was on me, but then a small part of me would wonder if this was normal. I didn't have anyone as an emotionally healthy friend to whom I could turn though to help me understand at the time that how Adam was treating me wasn't okay, and looking back on it all though, I also realized that I kept sticking with Adam because I was that desperate enough for him to like me and be my friend.
As the weeks turned in to months of our first year of knowing one another, Adam began playing his jokes on me around November of 2019. The first couple of them involved him sneaking up on me after turning out the lights in his house if I was staying over, and evening had come. He knew that the lights suddenly going out really scared me, and I would come to discover just how good he would become at using my fears and other bad things against me. He'd also talk to me about how animals would be butchered for food making sure to go in to graphic detail since he was realizing quickly enough that he could get a reaction from me like that.
When things started getting bad for me concerning Adam though, was at the beginning of 2020. Adam had met another guy at our school named Eric who was an unabashed Racist, Misogynist and Anti-LGBT Bigot. Adam had already told several gay jokes in front of me, and to me a couple of weeks after we first met so I already had an idea about how Adam felt about LGBT people, but I feared that things would get worse when he and Eric started hanging out together. Adam had begun saying more violent things about LGBT people, and one time in early February of 2020, he pushed a boy in the lunch hall when the boy told him not to call him gay. Adam had called him gay, and told him to speed it up while we were waiting in line to get our lunches.
After he pushed the boy, he watched as the boy started running towards the exit crying.
"Yeah, just keep running Fag!" Adam yelled over his shoulder.
"That wasn't nice Adam," I said now afraid, but trying not to show it.
"What? You sticking up for that little Queer?" he asked rounding on me. "Something about you I should know Langley?"
He quickly started calling me by my last name shortly after we met, and I instantly disliked it. When I asked him if he could call me by my first name, he told me that it was just a joke, and that I needed to lighten up.
At this point though, him addressing me by my last name was the least of my worries. I worried a lot about how he would react if he found out I was gay.
"What do you mean?" I asked struggling to keep my fear hidden.
"Just what I asked Langley," he replied. "That kid's a Fudge Packer sure as I'm fucking standing here. You're obviously not, though I haven't seen you balls-deep in some chick's twat yet, but I'm trying to keep an open mind here. So assuming that you're not a cock-worshiping pervert, then I was just wondering why you're getting all bent out of shape about that little idiot. He needs to toughen up."
"Oh my god Adam!" I said getting annoyed, and not trying to hide it this time. "Everyone needs to toughen up according to you!"
"Don't get pissy with me Langley," Adam shot back stepping closer to me and glaring down at me. "Most people do need to toughen up, even you. Now pay attention, we're up next in line."
So that was when I saw Adam act overtly mean towards anyone who was either gay, or who he perceived to be as such, and it really scared me. As for the night in question when I really began to be slightly afraid of Adam was when he and I went over to Eric's house. I already knew Eric's reputation, and I was nervous about us going there. It was a Friday night in the middle of February of 2020. That night Adam and I walked to Eric's house, and once there Eric started in on how the dirty Jews were continuing to control everything.
As I sat there, Eric was showing us one of the books he had recently received from his father for doing good at one of the sporting events Eric had recently won. The book was titled the Turner Diaries, and he showed it off as proudly as anyone showing off a rare book for which they had been in search for a long time.
I would later find out that the book Eric was so enthusiastically showing off to us was a book that was basically the Neo-Nazi's Bible. In the book, the story describes little more than a mass murder of minorities mostly African-American lead by the titular character, and of course the Jews are also blamed for why they end up going to so-called war.
Eric read us some of it, and I was disgusted. I sat there as his eyes lit up, but not in a good way when he read certain passages about things done to the victims. I was about to be physically sick as he closed the book after finishing reading us one of the other passages.
"That's totally sick Eric!" I said beginning to lose my patients. "Adam what's wrong with you! Why would you want to hang out with a creep like this!"
"We'll be back in a moment Eric," Adam said as he stood up from where he was sitting on the edge of Eric's bed and coming over to where I was sitting on the floor next to the bed-side table.
Adam grabbed my arm hard.
"Get up and come with me," he said looking down at me.
I got up, and we walked out to the kitchen. When we got to where the door of the house was, Adam rounded on me. I didn't expect the punch to my jaw, and I staggered back.
"Wasn't expecting that were ya you fucking Snow Flake!" he said then grabbed me.
Adam slammed me up against the door, and his eyes looked deep in to mine. His eyes were full of anger, and hate I thought. I looked again, and I did see hate there.
"Stop it!" I yelled trying to free myself from Adam's grip. "Let me go!"
"Shut up," he said through gritted teeth. "Now let's get something straight you fucking Pussy! You don't ever talk to my friends like that ever again! Do you fucking understand me!"
"Adam!" I said close to tears.
"Aww, what's this?" Adam said backing away a few inches. "Ya gonna start crying? Why, I don't see anything to cry about. You shit-talked one of my friends to his face, and I'm calling you out on it. You have any hurt feelings, then you should have thought about that before you fucked up."
"I'm one of your friends too," I said even closer to tears now.
"Then start falling in line Bitch, or we're going to be through as friends faster than you can say we're all human beings," he said this last part, and slapped me across the face.
"Damn, we're showing his Fag ass who's boss," Eric said from the doorway of the hall.
He apparently had been watching some or all of what had been going on.
"You saw all of that?" Adam asked.
"I came out when I heard your voices start getting loud," Eric explained. "Nice going Adam, you put that little Bitch in his place. Good, glad you took some initiative on that."
Eric was standing beside Adam now, and they both were standing there with me still backed up against the door.
"No problem," Adam said as he stepped closer to me.
Eric stepped up closer as well, and they were both pressed against me so that I could feel their bodies against mine. They weren't pressed up against me so that it was painful by any means, but I knew that if I tried to get free they would grab me quickly, and I most likely wouldn't be getting away.
"Now you little Bitch," Eric began as he held his face so close to mine that I could feel his breath as he spoke. "I don't know what kind of freak you are, and I don't know if you take or give it up the Ass, but I don't like your fucking attitude. So you better start showing me some respect, and you better start falling in line. If you don't, then I'll have to beat the fucking shit out of you. You know what the best part would be if I did that? It would be that I always win when I kick someone's ass. Do you understand me you little Prick?"
"Yeah I understand," I said struggling harder to not cry.
"Look at this Bitch," Eric said turning to Adam. "He turned 14 only the month before, and he still acts like a fucking baby."
"I know," Adam said laughing as they backed away from me. "I keep trying to get him to be more tough, but it's not getting through to him."
"Leave him with me and my two older brothers Todd and Randy," Eric said. "They're both away at college right now, but they'll be coming in for Spring Break. Drop off little Princess Lilly-Anna here sometime, and between the three of us we'll show this fucking brain-dead Asshole how the Real World works."
Adam laughed, and looked at me with a mean smile on his face as he said:
"I just might take you up on that offer Eric."
Then we left to go back to Adam's house for the evening, as I would be spending the weekend there. I walked along in a complete state of shock; I had never been so terrified!
Adam continued being abusive towards me, and another incident that stuck out in my mind was one time in late February when he and a few friends took me with them to eat dinner on a Saturday night. We ended up at a sea food restaurant, and when I saw the sign, I turned to Adam.
"Adam?" I began. "I can't eat sea food. I had already told you that when we first met."
I had told him that when we first met, and when I told him that I would throw up when having a reaction, he exclaimed about how disgusting it was while laughing. I hoped that he would at least take it serious though.
"Guess you'll have to find something else on the menu," he said smiling, but with a cold tone to his voice. "It's either that, get something anyway or just go hungry, because we're not going somewhere different just for your sad little allergy."
"This isn't a joke," I said as we came in to the lobby, and waited to be seated. "The doctors told me that they don't know when or if my reaction could change where my throat might close up, and I have trouble breathing."
"Now that I would have to see," Eric said. "I'd so laugh my fucking ass off at that."
"He'll be fine Eric," Adam said as we were shown to our table.
As I looked at the menu, to my horror I didn't see anything available that didn't have some sort of sea food involved.
As I put aside the menu, I thought for a moment. It really had been a long time since I had eaten any sea food, and I had heard about people out-growing certain allergies. I was really hungry at that point, and I didn't want to call my parents to have them come and get me. That would invite questions, and I didn't want that. Thus far, my parents didn't know how Adam was treating me, and I at that point still hadn't thought of what he was doing to me as the abuse that it was.
I ended up ordering some Shrimp, and some Lobster. After I started eating, things seemed to be going well, but as I finished off the last piece of shrimp, I began to feel an itchy feeling in the back of my throat. I noticed the feeling, but wasn't sure about it since I hadn't had that symptom the first couple of times of eating sea food. I would just have some itching around my lips, then a little while later I'd throw up, but my itching of my lips didn't happen this time around, so I figured that I might be alright, and just assumed that my throat was itching from it being the dry wind blowing around outside. We had been walking for a bit before we finally reached the restaurant, so I figured it had to do with that.
After finishing my food, Adam looked at me, then down at my plate. Eric looked across at me as well, then gave his typical mean smile. Paul and Rick, two of their other friends were there as well, and though they didn't do anything to stop what was happening, they didn't know exactly how Adam and Eric were treating me. They rarely hung out with Adam, and hadn't seen Eric but only a couple of times around the school.
"Well well," Adam said. "Baby made it through his dinner without getting sick. Would the little baby like some dessert?"
His tone was mocking, and the falsely tender inflection with which he spoke hurt my feelings.
"I'm fine," I said looking down at the table.
As we walked back to my house for them to drop me off, I started to feel a slight discomfort in my stomach, then I felt nausea slowly coming over me. I figured I knew what was going to happen, and I hoped that I was wrong, then the Nausea got worse.
By this point we were walking by a trash can, and I broke away from Eric and Adam, and motioned over at them. They came over with questioning looks on their faces.
"I feel like I'm going to throw up!" I said as I hung my head over the opening of the can.
I did throw up, and I had to hold on to the edges of the can as Adam and Eric weren't helping me. In fact, they were laughing, and saying how gross it was.
"Damn bro," Eric said. "I want to keep my dinner down if you don't mind."
"I'd love to upload that shit to YouTube," Adam added as he laughed hysterically. "I mean, look at him, those gagging sounds can't possibly be real can they? Come on Langley, I know you're sick, but don't you think you're really going over-board with the performance now?"
I continued throwing up, and the smell rising up in to my nose made it worse, so I threw up again, and had to stay there waiting to see if anything else would come up. I was also sweating profusely as well as shaking all over.
"How'd it taste coming up Gay Boy?" Eric said laughing as hard as Adam had been a moment ago.
"It's not fucking funny!" I yelled as best as I could as I tried to straighten up from where I had been bent over a moment ago.
"Oh damn!" both boys said laughing.
"That the first time you ever heard him cuss?" Eric said turning to Adam.
"Yeah, it actually is," Adam replied laughing. "Didn't know you had it in ya."
"Let's just go home," I said turning to face them. "I tried to tell you guys that I can't eat stuff like that. Why did you insist on going to that place?"
I addressed that question to Eric as he had suggested the place.
"And you," I said turning to Adam. "Why didn't you say something to him?"
"I was hungry for one thing," he said smirking at me. "Besides, I guess I wanted to see if what you said about your food issue was true, or if you were just being a little Bitch like usual. Hey, look on the bright side though. At least you didn't have your throat close up or any shit like that."
"No," Eric said smiling at me with a mean look in his eye. "Only time he wants his throat closing up is when he's got a guy's cock in his mouth. Isn't that right Gay Boy?"
"Damn it Eric!" I yelled stepping up to him. "I'm not fucking gay alright!"
"Wow!" he said in that way that reminded me of how some of Toney Soprano's associates would say it when someone stepped out of line about something. "First of all Bitch, the language on you, you blow your cousin with that mouth? Second, back the fuck up or I'll fucking kick your ass."
I backed up, and Adam stood there watching the whole thing.
"Adam, make him stop!" I said turning to him and starting to feel close to tears. "I just want to go home," I said closer to tears now.
"Isn't that where we're going?" Eric said, then stepped up to me. "I'm amazed at how Adam puts up with your Bullshit. I would have cut off contact with you long ago if you were my friend."
We eventually got me back home, and I went to bed quickly. It really had been one of the worst nights of my life at that point!
When March began, that's when I began developing feelings for Adam. I wasn't sure what to think about that at the time, but I didn't feel any reason to try to fight them, but I certainly wasn't going to tell him about them. Also at the beginning of March, I met a girl named Beth, and she wasn't really treated any better by the kids in class. She had just moved to where we were a few days before when her parents got new jobs that put them in a position to have to relocate. We had met in Homeroom, and became good friends instantly. I could tell that she liked me instantly, then as the days passed I was starting to realize that she was interested in me as more than a friend.
Finally at the end of March when she told me that she thought I was cute, I took her to a spot close enough to the school so that we could come back once class was back in session, but far enough so that we wouldn't be over-heard. We sat there on the ground with our lunches when she had told me that she liked me, and how cute she thought I was. I hadn't said anything at that point, and always knew that unlike some gay guys, I couldn't and wouldn't cover by faking a relationship with a girl. I never felt right about doing something like that.
"Did I say something wrong?" she asked worried now.
I leaned in close, and looked at her.
"Can you keep stuff to yourself?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said. "I'm good at keeping things secret."
"I mean that you can't tell anyone at all," I said. "Not even Adam."
"Oh god I wish you'd stop hanging out with him," she said sadly. "I know you think he likes to play jokes, but I don't find how he treats you to be funny at all Dakota. Plus there's that Racist Prick he hangs out with Eric. I really am afraid that something is going to happen to you or someone else here at school by either one of those two, or they'll both try something."
Like what?" I asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I just know that Adam makes me nervous, but Eric straight-up scares the hell out of me."
"I'll be careful," I answered.
"Okay," she said. "I hope so. Anyway, go on with what you were going to say."
"I can't be a boyfriend for you, because I like you as just a friend," I began. "You really are a good friend, and I've never really had many regular friends who are girls before. That being said, I also can't be with you romantically, because I'm not in to girls."
"You mean?'''" she started.
"I'm gay," I said. "I like boys."
I was worried that she was going to get pissed, and either slap me and run away. I was afraid that she would do either that, or cuss me out, then leave. She didn't do any of those things. She put her arms around me, and she just held me. I immediately started crying, as I only at that moment realized just how hard it was holding in the truth of who I am, as well as somewhat feeling relieved that at least Beth understood.
"I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere," Beth said continuing to hold me.
After I got my crying under control, I separated from her, and dried my eyes. After a moment she spoke again.
"Does anyone else besides me know about you?" she asked.
"No," I said looking directly in to her eyes. "My family doesn't know, and I haven't told Adam. I'm waiting for the right time to let him know."
"Oh Dakota I really don't think you should tell Adam," she said getting worried a little more at this point. "I really am worried that he would try to hurt you, and if not him then possibly Eric or one of his friends."
"I wouldn't let any of them hurt me," I said. "Besides, I think I have feelings for Adam. If I could just sit down with him and talk to him, maybe we could really see what's between us."
"No Dakota!" Beth said grabbing my hands. "Dakota please don't do this. I wouldn't ever want to tell you who to be with, but I really can't sit by and say nothing while you try to get with Adam. I really am afraid about what he might do."
"I really do appreciate your concern," I said hugging her. "But I'm sure I'll be alright. I'm sure I can get Adam to be more kind, and if I can just talk to him and say the right things I'm sure I can help him to understand how I feel about him. Besides, there have been a couple of times when he would put a hand on my shoulder and say that I was a cool friend after I'd by something for him he wanted such as when I buy him a candy bar sometimes."
"That's exactly my point Dakota," she said taking my hand and holding it tightly. "He got something from you he wanted, and it doesn't mean anything more than that. Please, don't read in to it things that aren't there. What is or could be there is something that could be dangerous."
"I can tell that you're really worried about me," I responded. "I'll be careful, and if he starts being mean to me, then I'll give up the idea of trying to get with him as a boyfriend."
"I hope so," Beth replied.
Things went on this way over the next several weeks, then in early April I got up from my desk once the last class of the day ended. It was Math, and I spent the last ten minutes writing in my journal since we finished the lesson early. The bell rang at that moment, and I finished my entry then set the book down on the desk preparing to put it in my bag with my other books and papers. Several kids jumped up at that time, and I got up and Adam was beside me looking at me.
"You coming home with me for the afternoon Langley?" he asked.
I turned to him, and stepped to where he was. I knew Eric was in the class, and tried to ignore him as best as I could.
"Yeah," I replied. "I'd like that."
I got my books and papers gathered up, then put them in my bag. I then turned to Adam again, and as I walked up to him to get ready to go I saw Eric out of the corner of my eye, but didn't pay him any attention.
0000
With Dakota distracted with Adam, no one including Adam and Dakota saw Eric walk up to the desk at which Dakota had originally been sitting, and pick up the journal Dakota had forgotten to put in his bag since he was so focused on talking to Adam and leaving for the day.
"Now, let's see what you're really about," Eric thought as he hid the journal then left the room.
0000
Dakota
Adam and I spent a couple of hours at his house listening to some Metal groups he was in to. I had started getting in to Metal a few months before, but not what Adam was listening to. He liked a lot of stuff like National Socialist Black Metal that he had first discovered on his own, and his interests in it deepened as he and Eric spent more time listening to it. I tried to think of other things as the music played on, and I decided that if Adam wasn't going to talk, then I would get out my journal and write for a bit.
I went to my bag, and opened it up. I took out the two books, then moved the papers aside, then saw that underneath the papers lay nothing, nothing at all.
"No!" I yelled in my head!
I felt my mouth immediately grow dry. I then turned to Adam, and motioned for him to come over here.
"What!" he said annoyed.
"Adam! I can't find my journal!" I said close to tears.
"Oh for Christ's sake Dakota!" Adam said completely frustrated. "Maybe you left it in your locker back at school."
"No!" I said closer to tears now. "I had it right with me as I was putting stuff away before we left school a little while ago. Wait, I must have forgotten it on the desk when things got loud for a moment. Damn! That must have been what happened!"
"Hmm," Adam said with no empathy or understanding. "I guess you'll just have to go without it for the weekend. Besides, I don't see what you're getting so freaked out about. I mean, it's not like you have anything in there worth reading anyway. I mean, unless you and Beth have been hitting it."
"Yuck Adam!" I shot back. "There's nothing going on between her and I, and I don't like hearing you talk about her like that! Why can't I just be friends with a girl?"
"Yeah," Adam said. "That's what I'm wondering as well. She likes you obviously, and you're not seeing anyone so I don't know why you don't just go for it with her. As for the journal thing, I don't know what to tell you. I say just forget about it, and just relax for the weekend."
I eventually left, and Once home I somehow managed to choke down dinner, then I went to lay down. I was sick with both worry and fear. Worry, because of who might find my journal, and fear of who might find and read it if anyone did read it. I was also afraid of what someone would do if they did read it. I had written down my feelings for Adam in its pages, and I didn't want him finding out, not that way!
Author's Notes
This is another Cliff Hanger. I'll not only be continuing on with these events in the next chapter, but I'll also be including some of Caleb's back story such as how he came to realized he was gay, as well as the struggles he had to go through, and what telling his parents had been like. I hope everyone is staying safe as always, and I hope everyone is having a good evening. I'll see you all in Chapter Six.