The Big Mistake By ~J~ Chapter 13:
To avoid all the sounds coming from Mike's room Jake and I made our way downstairs to the kitchen. I couldn't stop feeling as if both Mike and Jake betrayed me. I mean Mike was my brother, and Jake was the man that I loved. How could 'they' forgive Max so easily?! I could feel the anger I had before Jake ran out returning.
Instead of letting it build to an explosion, I decided to confront Jake since Mike was somewhat busy at that moment.
"Jake may I ask you something?"
"Yeah,... babe!"
"How long did you know about Mike and Max?" I asked as calmly as I could.
"OH!... THAT!"
"YES!...THAT!"
"Well?..."
Jake lowered his head to avoid my eyes.
"Jake!... Please look at me! How long?!"
My voice rose with each word!
"Well, he,... I mean Max, told me when uh, I... I asked about you!"
Jake shifted nervously in his seat still avoiding my eyes.
"That long?!"
My blood pressure began to rise.
"Yes!... I'm so sorry babe! He made me promise!"
My boy rose to comfort me.
"You should be sorry! I can believe I trusted you!"
I pulled away not wanting to be touched at that moment.
"But,... babe!!"
"Don't 'but babe' me!! He put me in the hospital!! Or, don't you remember that?!!" I shouted.
"I know!!... I was there!!"
"And you 'still' forgave him?!! My 'supposed' best friend beats me up, because I'm gay! Then I come to find out he's a 'fag' himself!! Please!... Explain to me how you forgave him!!"
"Look TJ! He's really sorry! He was so scared that you would hate him!"
"I do hate him!!"
"Don't say that babe!! You don't mean it!!"
"Yes I do!!! But, what I don't get is how you became such a sucker!"
"TJ!!... Stop!!"
"No!! Because, I still haven't gotten an explanation! You keep avoiding my question!"
"You want to know?!!... You really want to know?!!"
"Yes!!!"
"I found his suicide note!!"
"His WHAT!!"
"His suicide note! It was written two days after the incident in the locker room with the team!"
"B-b ut h-h e,... UH..."
I collapsed into the nearest kitchen chair speechless trying to process everything.
"Max was so devastated at what he had done to you, and how it led to the incident in the locker room with James!"
I looked up at Jake watching his every movement, as he continued to tell me about Max's suicide note.
"Max said that he loves you like a brother, but he could't go on knowing what he had done. Max's father and some of our teammates had become suspicious, and he was terrified. When he found you in the locker room screaming his name he panicked. After his father found out, he actually told Max that he was proud of him. Max was convinced that his life wasn't worth living as a coward who beats up his best friend. He didn't want to become his father, but Max had to keep up the image in school until he could't take hurting you any longer. The note was also how I found out about Mike!"
I just looked at him dumbfounded! I could't believe what I was hearing!
"In the note Max wanted Mike to know that he loved him, but it was better off this way! He said that Mike could do better than a spineless bastard!"
"So... Max never outright told you about Mike?"
"Not til after I found the note and confronted him!!"
"So you... UH... saved him?!"
"Well kind of! I called Mike in a panic and both of us rushed to his house. See I wasn't suppose to find the note until the next day. He had left it in my locker thinking that I had gone home for the day. What he didn't know was that I was still at the library looking up stuff for my history project."
"What happened when you got there?"
My heart was racing from the news of my best friend's attempted suicide!
"We found him lying unconscious on the bathroom floor surrounded by a bunch of empty pill bottles!!"
I gasped! This could't be happening! How did I not know about this!
"We rushed him to the ER and had his stomach pumped. Luckily the pills didn't have enough time to fully get into his blood stream!"
"How did I 'not' know?!!"
"That was hard! We tried to keep it hidden from you as long as possible. We lucked out with it being the weekend, and by Monday he was feeling better!"
"So,... that's why he wanted to talk to me Monday afternoon?!"
"Yeah! Since his attempted suicide failed he felt like a bigger coward for not just talking to you."
"But, he never mentioned this and neither did you or Mike!"
"Well, he wanted to tell you but was afraid that you would still hate him. And, he just could't stand that!"
"But, then why didn't one of you tell me?!!"
"He made us both promise! And, that he would tell you when he felt the time was right!"
"So that's why you didn't seem too surprised when we found them together upstairs!"
"OH Yeah! Well that was definitely the wrong way for you to find out!"
"You can say that again!!"
"Do you forgive me for not telling you?!"
"Yeah!! And, I'm so sorry for how I acted!!"
"Me, too!! I should have never run out of here!!"
"Well, just know that it's you that I love!... OK?!"
"Yeah!!... I love you too babe!!"
We stayed in the kitchen until Mom came home about one hour later. By that time Mike and Max had finally emerged from Mike's bedroom.
I really wanted to talk to Max alone but never got the chance. I knew that we had a lot to discuss.
I'm just happy knowing that my best friend is still with us when things could have gone so differently. I really could't image my life without these four people in it.
I started to wonder what would happen when we all are in college. Jake and I have never discussed what school he wants to go to next year. Max I know plans to get as far away from his father as possible. But, where would that leave my bro? Mike has one year of high school left beyond this year. Would Max stick around and wait?
I decided to worry about it later. Right now I just wanted to spend time with my loved ones.