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Chapter 17. alex learns what it is
I Hear him showering and at first I wonder why He didn't bring me in to join him, but quickly dismiss that as willful thinking deserving of punishment. What He wants for me is for me to stay down here on the ground in the position He taught me: groveling but allowed to rest my head in my hands and I am grateful for that small kind permission He has given me. I keep telling myself what He told me: "Settle in, settle in." My body is humbled to the ground but I still have bit of the rebel brat in me and I guess that has to be beaten out of me unless He approves of having to deal with a slave with attitude much like a young horse that needs to be broken. And so I settle as I hear him singing in the shower, wishing that I had a chance to get clean as well because it's been an active day and I had all that physical work to do. I'm afraid I might start smelling, but then remind myself that in this roleplay I have no right to expect to be clean and fresh like a bride offering herself to her husband. He is not my husband; He is my Master. As I think back, I remember that He never really was one of my friends, that all of our encounters had a slightly hostile edge to them. He had a unique way of bullying me with words, words that told me in no uncertain terms that I was inferior to Him. When I was young, I mistakenly thought that meant that He didn't like me; I never would have guessed what His true feelings were to me: that He desired me, not as a friend, but as an extension of His own ego and as someone who was meant to cry real tears for Him just for the sake of His own delight. I also remember how He told me that He preferred to watch other men beat me than to do it himself, and I remember the look on His face while He was watching His father spank the shit out of my ass and the tears, snot and sobs from my face while I suffered naked under His hands, stripped of any safe word or of any possible right to beg for mercy. It wasn't until I started to panic that Billy gave the signal for the beating to cease, and His father (whom I'm now supposed to call Papa) let go of me and practically threw me down on the floor where I folded up like a fetus. I guess it isn't really a strange thing that Billy kept talking of my being reborn into a new identity as I lay there sobbing, my flesh on fire and my heart yearning to run to him and throw myself into His arms in gratitude for what He was causing to happen to me.
Masochist. I thought I knew what that meant, but just what happened this afternoon made me realize that I haven't even begun to understand what it is going to mean in my life. I tremble, but I am not afraid. This is Billy owning me, training me, taking me to himself the way He wanted to do before I had started to grow pubes—and now I look the same way because He commands me to be hairless like the little boy I used to be. I know that lots of guys like to keep themselves shaved, but this is different; it's not just a question of being shaved; a superior man has stripped my hair from me as a way of humiliating me. And I must say that I feel it that way.
I hear Billy turn off the shower and I remind myself not to anticipate anything or indulge in any expectations or wishes. For all I know, I might end up spending the rest of the night here. He brought me here to be trained, but I don't get to write the syllabus; I don't even get to peek at it. I breathe and remind myself that I am His. That is all I need to focus on.
Suddenly, I Hear Billy let loose with a powerful whistle, as if He is whistling for a dog. "Get yourself in here, boy!" I get the point. That's how he'll be calling me. I get myself up off the floor and shake out my stiff joints as I walk into the bedroom. There He is, in all His naked splendor, lying on the bed and He smells so nice! Here's a nice surprise: He opens his arms and calls me to lie with Him and cuddle. Oh, how wonderful---He kisses me and it's like a dream come true as I join my lips to His and open for His tongue and drink from His mouth. I wonder if I might dare tell him I love him. But He beats me to it.
"I love you, alex," He says. "I love that you are so needy. I love that you are able to surrender yourself to me. I love the way you look, naked, hairless, kneeling, bowing. I love the look in your eyes when I allow you to look into Mine. I love that you get drunk on Me and that you get drunk on the pain I give you that you need so badly. I love you as My slave. I love that you accept My rule over you. I love that you are so happy I have finally taken you to be Mine. I love you as a Dom, as a Master, as a sadist. I love that you love me with all your heart and soul. I love that you inspire me to be everything that you need. I love that God created you with a submissive soul and has given you to me."
He buries His face in my neck and kisses me and sucks my skin. I know He is marking me and that makes me know He is proud of me. He moves His mouth and marks me again. I wonder if He is going to make a slave collar built out of hickeys and bruises. Sure enough, He keeps moving and keeps marking me. I eagerly offer him my neck and that seems to encourage Him to continue His exploration and His claiming me as His own.
He stops and kisses me again on the lips. "Enough affection for now, pup. It's time for you to get back to work showing me what you feel about me. Work on my asshole," He says, and He rolls over and raises His ass in the air. He is so clean and smells so sweet and it is easy to serve him the way He has ordered. Rimming is not high on my list of preferred activities, but this is different. It's about making love to Him however He wants it, and I chow down as eagerly on His asshole as I was on His feet and want to on His cock. He rolls back over. "Tease your Master's cock, alex. Lick and nibble and stick your tongue into My slit but don't suck Me yet. Lick and nibble, then down to My balls, then My inner thighs. Plant your kisses there alex. Mark Me down there with your mouth. Later, I'm going to mark you down there with My strap. Worship your Master. Show your Master that you are willing to submit to Him whipping you."
I tremble as I do what He says. I begin to fear the lashes of His strap even while I am excited that He is going to do that to me. I feel like I want to beg Him to whip me harder than I've ever been whipped before.
"Master, please take over your slave's flesh. Please, Master, teach me to accept your lashes more and more. Please, Master, break through my limits. Expand my capacity to take pain from you."
"Oh you will, alex, and then I will kiss away your tears. But get up higher and lap up My pre-cum because you have me so turned on it is flowing all over the place. Lap it up, pup, and then your Master is going to work you over all parts of your body so you know how much I own you." I leave His thighs and move up to lick up His juices that are really flowing copiously. I lick and suck and taste My Master's bitter and salty excretions. "Good boy. That's good food for you. It will make you strong so you can bear My strap and My crop."
I clean him completely and He orders me to get up on the bed and lie on my back. "Spread out your arms and your legs, slave. Give them to me." Using clips and chains, He fastens my wrists to the sides of the bed in a way that stretches my arms out, and then does the same to my leg manacles and I am spread wide and can hardly move at all. Then He blindfolds me. "I'll start with the crop," He says. "I am going to cover every inch of your body with its sting and get you nice and red. Feel free to say anything that comes to your mind in reaction to what I am doing to you. Do not hold back, slave. Do not hold back. You are mine and you are going to feel that in a way you have never felt before. Don't forget: deep breaths. Breathe in My pain and breathe out your freedom."
I hear him move around the room and suddenly feel the crop bite into my left armpit. "It's Yours, Master." Then He hits my groin above the cage. Then my right nipple. "It's yours, Master." Thenmy left forearm then my right armpit, then back to my groin. I never know where He is going to hit next. Just little stings, almost like kisses to my body. I moan and try to writhe under the blows. He moves more and more quickly, the blows landing everywhere and anywhere, up and downmy chest and tummy and legs and arms and Oh My God, I feel like my entire body is having a type of orgasm I have never had before. "thank you, Billy, thank you so much. Take me, baby. Take all of me." Occasionally I cry out when the touch of the crop is more fierce than usual, but mostly it's just erotic stings that have every inch of my body tingling. "All of me, Master, please keep hitting me. Please keep stinging me."
I am covered with the sting of the crop, and wish I could see what my body looks like at this point. Master stops and then He begins to run His fingertips very lightly all over my body and I keep trying to rise up off the bed to meet His fingers. His touch is exquisite. "Thank you, Billy, for not forgetting me. Thank you, Billy, for claiming my life. Everything for you, my Master. All of me trembles under Your touch. I wish the whole world could see how much you own me, Master."
Then He stops. I hear him move over to the dresser and I can hear it when He takes the strap and swishes it through the air. "this strap is almost as thick as the one that Brother M used to use on us. Don't forget your safe words, boy. Don't be a hero, I just want to find out how much you can take.
I brace myself. Billy speaks gently: "don't do that, boy. Relax your muscles. Let go. Deep breaths. I'll start slow and build up. Let loose. Settle, alex, let me take care of you." He lays the strap on my flesh so I can feel its weight. He strikes me lightly at first, covering the entire area. Gradually He increases the intensity. I've never been struck there before and the pain of the bite startles me and I cry out. "That's it, boy. Take it like the slave you want to be. Like the slave you need to be." Two more lashes and I start to cry and try to say "Thank you, Master."
"Five more, boy. Start counting down. He doesn't hit any harder, but He hits where I am already sore so it bites more deeply into my pain nerves. I struggle to get out the word. FIVE. Again, and I start crying as I blurt out FOUR. My breath is hard and Hhavy now. Another lash.
"THREE yellow, Master, please, Yellow!"
Billy stops hitting me and rubs His hands on my flesh, pressing deeply. Despite the pain there is something quite pleasurable about His touch. "thank you, Master."
"You're going to be black and blue for days, like a naughty slave. I want My friends to see how much you can take." Let me beat you. Two more now. Get ready, okay?
"Yes, Master, please whip Your slave.
Two quick ones: TWO! ONE! Oh My God, please, Billy, please stop whipping me for now.
"Use your safe word, bitch!" He yells at me.
"RED, Master, RED!" I hear him throw the strap to the floor and walk out of the room. I am left alone, bound and sobbing and my flesh is on fire and the pain is still embedding itself more and more deeply into My nerves.
He returns. "I want to fuck you, boy. Fuck your slave pussy." He unbinds my legs and then, kneeling up on the bed, He raises them. I cry out because of the extra pain it causes my right leg. He raises them high and then holds them in one hand while the fingers of His other hand seek out my hole and invade it with lube.
"Fuck your boy, Billy. Please! Rape me because I'm yours!"
Suddenly I feel His cockhead enter me and slide all the way in with one slow motion, not stopping until He is balls deep within me and I mumble and holler and scream and cry, out of my mind. He starts fucking me fast and hard and I can hardly catch my breath. Never have I ever felt this invaded, and despite the ferocity of His assault on me, I am suddenly overcome by the pleasure I feel deep within, and the reality that I am indeed His slave and nothing more than a piece of meat for him to abuse and enjoy sets in more deeply than ever before and, in the midst of my tears and sobbing, I call out. "thank you, Master, thank you for owning your slave. Thank you for taking over my life. thank you, Billy. I love you. I have always loved you. Take me, Master. I am Yours." He slows His strokes and suddenly bursts out, YOU ARE MINE, ALEX! and shoots into my body. I pass out.
END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Next: alex is diapered and learns to say "Daddy"
Call me robbie, call me boy, call me slave, call me sub, subs call me brother, but don't call me Sir.
THANK YOU all for the feedback, suggestions and encouragement. Thank You Doms and Masters for ongoing advice and discipline. Always willing to use clothespins, my wooden spoon, or my strap.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE write me; Tell me what is turning You on.
I love all the men, fellow subs and superior Doms alike, that I am getting to meet. The conversations we are having are such a wonderful thing. It is difficult for me to meet real Doms and Masters when I live, so are conversations are a gift to me and make me realize that it is worth the effort to keep writing.
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