Author's Note:
THANK YOU to those who have written in to me. Your interest is the only reason I continue on with writing the story.
Drop me a line, I would love to hear from you, comment, criticisms, anything. Email: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com
If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!
This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone or anything is purely coincidental. If you want to put this story somewhere else, distribute it, whatever, please ask me first. Thanks!
THANK YOU AGAIN JAY ALEXANDER, MY EDITOR. THANKS TO YOU, MY WORK IS NOW PRESENTABLE (thanks also for the encouragement). SORRY IF I OVERWHELM YOU SOMETIMES WITH THE WORK!!
:)
Hopefully, by now, you (the faithful readers) are familiar with the story, so without any further ado..
CHAPTER 5
I kissed him. No words would have sufficed. I felt closer to Thane. I secretly thanked him for letting me into his life in such a short time. He was brave enough. Maybe one day, I will have the courage to do the same. We sat there for God knows how long, lost in our own thought, holding each other. Two lost souls forced to face reality. It was a sobering thought.
I woke up and felt instantly disoriented. My head was pounding and I was in my boxers. What the hell? Then, all of last night came back to me in a rush. I looked around. I was in Thane's bed. I lay back down and put my face to the pillow beside me, and inhaled. Mmmm...Thane. Last night was heavy. I felt bad that I drifted off on Thane when he bared his soul to me. Where the hell was he now? I decided to go look for him, but I had a morning woody that would not quit. I raced to the washroom. When I came out to the living room, Thane was sitting at the dining table, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper.
"Morning, babe." He cheered. Ugh! It was not a happy morning. I felt like my brain had been mutilated.
"I made you some breakfast and really, really, really, strong coffee...by the looks of it, you need it." He chuckled and got up, planting a kiss on my cheek and ruffling my already tousled hair.
I grunted in response and sat down at the table. The breakfast was surprisingly delicious.
I guess Thane caught my look. He smiled, "I learned to fend for myself real young....cooking, cleaning, you name it." I felt ashamed. The conversation from last night came back into my head.
"Don't you have a maid?" I inquired. He had the money for it.
"Ya, but she comes in once a week. I'm a neat freak. I clean up anyway. Plus, I'm a little conceited about my cooking abilities." Thane grinned sheepishly.
"I see." I was in no mood for morning conversation. I really felt sick. It was Friday. I had a class at 2:00. Shit! I needed to get back and wash up. I looked at the clock. It was only 9 am.
Thane saw me looking at the clock. "Don't worry, as soon as you are done breakfast, I'm driving you back, but you promised me lunch."
How would I manage my time? I guess I had a horrified look on my face.
Thane laughed, "Ok...ok, dinner then, but you can't back out, no matter what. Here," he took a pen and paper and wrote down his number and handed it to me, "what's yours?" I gave him my number and took the paper. It was really phenomenal. Within a day, my life went from being the pits, to heaven, or something close to it. Then reality slapped me. That bitch!
I had to get back to Rez. It was Kenny's day off. He had no classes on Friday. Just a lab and the lab was every other week and this was his week off. He would probably be in our room. Dammit!
After taking some extra strength Tylenol and downing another mug (not cup) of coffee, we headed out, to my Rez. I still couldn't get used to the fact I was riding in a Porsche 9- 11. Score! All too soon, we were parked in front of my Rez. I didn't want to leave Thane. I sat there, sulking.
Thane chuckled, "Babe, I know how you feel...hang in there `til dinner."
I looked over at him. He was so beautiful. I wasn't hung up on describing him as such anymore. He really was beautiful.
He looked around and quickly pecked me on the lips. I turned red. I was mortified. Thank god, no one was around. Regardless, I still smiled and reluctantly got out of the car. He backed away and I watched until he disappeared. I turned around and looked at my Rez. It loomed over me. Overbearing. I wasn't exaggerating...really!
As if I had shackles tied to my feet, I grudgingly made my way up the steps to my room. Damn the lack of elevators....where did our money go to? I reached the door and felt jittery all of a sudden, anxious. I needed to piss. That's right. Piss. So, I went. When that was done, and I couldn't give myself any more excuse, I took a deep breath and opened my door.
Kenny was there.
He sat at his desk facing away from me, towards the window, head bowed in his hands. When he heard me, he turned around. His face was pale. Something was wrong. He got up from his chair and lashed out at me. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Wha..?
"What the fuck? A note?"
"Kenny...listen..."
"No, you listen, if you want me gone, say it...don't drop subtle hints. I don't get them." I was shocked. Why was he so mad? I was so happy being with Thane. I come home and all that happiness just melts away...all because of Kenny, Mr. Stick-Up-The-Ass.
"What the fuck is your problem?" I went towards him and pushed him. Violence is not the answer, I know...blah, blah, blah!
He pushed me back. His had more strength. I hit my back up against the wall. He got right up in my face, grabbed a handful of my shirt and pulled me in even closer - uncomfortably so. "I called Hannah, she was worried sick, she didn't know where you were. Where the hell have you been?"
"Fuck off," was my eloquent answer.
"You've been drinking?"
I smirked. Wrong move. He let go of me and pushed me away again. I fell over onto my bed, while Kenny kept on talking. "Who were you with?"
"Someone. What's with the interrogation? Why you turning so psycho on me? We're not married Kenny. Geesh!"
"I guess you don't owe me any respect either, considering we're not best friends?"
"Oh hell..." He was taking this too far.
"I looked all over for you, you just disappeared and you went to a bar? You promised me. You fucking promised me!" I know he was shaken up since last time when I got Alcohol Poisoning, but he was not my father.
"Promises are made to be broken, buddy." I was pushing the limits. Fuck it!
"I guess so." He looked tired now, drained. He opened up a suitcase and started to pack. What the hell? He was leaving? Because of this? Fucking crazy.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"My mother, Galen. She's been in an accident. I need to go back home. She's hospitalized." His voice came out as a sob.
I felt like a complete and utter jerk.
"What happened?" I was in a panic. His mother was a like a second mother to me. Hell, she was more of a mother than my mother ever was. With six kids, my mother was always too busy to pay attention to me, and Mrs. O'Brien was always there: cuts on my knee, lunches, supporting me with my artwork. She treated me like her son. I called her Mama Brien.
I remember one time: we were about 8 years old. I had done a picture of a panther in the jungle. I was so happy with it. I went home after school and showed it to my mother. She was washing my baby brother, Liam. She glanced at it and commented, "Nice, but Galen, not now." Just then, my brother splashed water. Some of it went on my drawing, spoiling it. I was so upset. I hit him. Liam started crying. My mother was furious. She yanked me by the ear and took my drawing and tore it to pieces, "Don't ever hit your brother. Get out, Galen. Out! You're grounded." I cried and bawled and ran out, straight next door. I burst through the door. Mama Brien was surprised to see me. She asked me what was wrong. I just held her and cried and cried, while retelling her the horrible incident. She hugged me and brought me some fresh paper and colouring pencils and made me draw her another picture. After, when I was done, she was so happy with it. She took it and put it on the fridge. I was elated. My family never did anything like that for me.
I was torn from my thought. "She was in a car accident. She's in ICU. I don't know...." He was sobbing. Kenny was an only child and so, he was extremely close to his parents, especially his mother. He needed my support, a hug, anything, but I couldn't. I've never hugged him. I've never shown him any affection like that. A hug just seemed too out of place now. How fucked up is that? My best friend of fourteen years is crying and I can't think of a single thing to take that pain away. I was too rooted to the spot. I was frozen.
Kenny finished packing. He called a cab to take him to the train station, since our town was a good three-hour train ride. The whole time, I just sat on my bed, the life drawn out of me, a cold, heartless statue.
"Can I do anything? I could get your work for the classes you will miss." I needed to do SOMETHING.
"Nah, Paul took care of that. Um...I will probably be gone for a week. I'll call if anything changes." Kenny whispered, looking at me....waiting.
Paul, a nobody, was able to be there for Kenny before me. I hated Paul. Fucking bastard.
I kept on sitting on the bed. The phone rang. I was confused. Who could that be?
Kenny picked it up, "Hello? ....Ya, ok, I'll be down." He hung up. Picked up his shit and walked towards the door.
"Bye Galen, my cab arrived." He looked at me one last time. I looked up at him, confused, hurt, frustrated.
"Ya." was my only reply.
Kenny left. I was alone. I let him down. I know I did. Again.
It was too frustrating. Nothing's been going right for me since I've come to University. Every time I feel a little hope, a little balloon of joy, something comes and pricks the fucking balloon. I mean, I could feel Kenny's and my relationship just slipping away. I didn't know how to hold on to it. I felt if I held on too hard, it would slip through my fingers like sand. I was at an end.
My phone rang me out of my self-loathing. "Hello?" I whispered, afraid that if I spoke louder, my voice would come out as a sob.
"Babe, what's wrong?" It was Thane.
"Um...," I took a deep breath, "Thane, please come and take me to your apartment. Please?" I begged him.
"Ya, sure, I'll be right there. Bye." Thane hung up. I packed my bags, my books, and I was ready. I couldn't be here, with Kenny's belongings, in this room, alone, for a whole week.